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Cosmos Quest (Naruto/Lupin III)

Guile said:
Given we're holding her hand and not, say, sticking our hand down her shirt, I think we're safe from that at least.

Fun facts - kissing someone's hand outright is how you indicate you want to fuck them.

Because Sorato totally wouldn't openly declare interest like that. And we're not holding it yet, most people want to kiss the hand.

Remember, what happened to us is either a first, or the first where he didn't get reported. And apparently we did as bad as we did cause we're terrible about resisting sexual stimuli (and we're probably a hedonist). Most girls would take issue with moving straight from introductions to....third base? I never cared for the baseball metaphors.

But announcing his intentions with a kiss to the hand sounds like the kind of audacious thing he'd do, that would be considered an outright crime.

EDIT: My bad. Kiss the air above. So we're skirting riiiiiiight at the edge. The message is still pretty obvious and while I can easily see Sorato going for the full kiss, depending how coy he is I can see him doing this too. A way of flaunting or irritating people around him while still having an excuse.
 
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Hymn of Ragnarok said:
EDIT: My bad. Kiss the air above. So we're skirting riiiiiiight at the edge. The message is still pretty obvious and while I can easily see Sorato going for the full kiss, depending how coy he is I can see him doing this too. A way of flaunting or irritating people around him while still having an excuse.
To be fair, no one in Fire Country really kisses hands. Remember when you felt the urge to do it to Mei, and you were like "What even is that?" o_O

And kissing the air above it isn't skirting the line - it's how the action is performed by someone of respectable intent.
 
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FurikoMaru said:
To be fair, no one in Fire Country really kisses hands. Remember when you felt the urge to do it to Mei, and you were like "What even is that?" o_O

No, I totally forgot about that actually.

And kissing the air above it isn't skirting the line - it's how the action is performed by someone of respectable intent.

Could you clarify then? What message is it supposed to send?
 
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Hymn of Ragnarok said:
Could you clarify then? What message is it supposed to send?

Sounds like 'I want to fuck you, but I'm not going to be an ass if you say no' to me.
 
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Vindictus said:
Sounds like 'I want to fuck you, but I'm not going to be an ass if you say no' to me.

If that is what it means, then now is probably a pretty good time to ask about the general acceptance of homosexuality and the tolerance for things of a sexual nature in particular settings.

Standards change between places and times. A kiss, for example, is much more casual in America than it used to be IIRC. But still a sign of some kind of a relationship, whereas in, say, France two kisses on the cheek is a common greeting between friends regardless of gender.
 
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Vindictus said:
Sounds like 'I want to fuck you, but I'm not going to be an ass if you say no' to me.
No! Jesus, did you miss the part where I said it's most commonly employed upon married women? I know France doesn't have the best reputation when it comes to fidelity, but c'mon!

'A kiss on the hand' has always been a perfectly respectable way to greet a married woman indoors not wearing gloves, because 'a kiss on the hand' doesn't mean a literal pressing of the lips to the hand in question; it's always been a hovering thing, when done by someone other than an American actor with no clue how it works in a film.

Unless you're in Switzerland. There you're meant to kiss your own hand while holding the lady's.
 
FurikoMaru said:
No! Jesus, did you miss the part where I said it's most commonly employed upon married women? I know France doesn't have the best reputation when it comes to fidelity, but c'mon!

To be fair, you said 'hand kissing' in the best society was done to married women. In the same paragraph where you said it means 'I want to fuck you'.

I forgot to mention it but there's some dissonance in that paragraph.
 
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Vindictus said:
Sounds like 'I want to fuck you, but I'm not going to be an ass if you say no' to me.
I assumed Vindy meant 'What it means locally', which is apparently incredibly crass. Or... so I think? Now I'm questioning what I thought I knew.

Obviously Lupin has a little more class than that (a little).

Edit: Neat. I've never heard about the swiss thing.
 
*groan* Hand-kissing is totally respectable, dammit!
 
Jiven said:
*groan* Hand-kissing is totally respectable, dammit!

That was what I thought at first. Then Furiko's first post made me go, "Wait, what? Must be a cultural thing." The I-Want-To-Fuck-You thing was new to me.

I'm still pretty confused about how this girl is expected to take the act though. As it is apparently handshakes are rare (no surprise, Japanese-ish culture).
 
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[X] Gentle to the ladies all the time

Her cheeks go pink (cute~!), but she stifles the blush almost immediately. Still, she looks genuinely surprised. "So Sukaha-sensei was telling the truth," she murmurs.

She gestures to the chair beside her. "Have a seat," she says, suddenly in a much better mood.

"Thanks!" you chirp. Aaaand, damn it, taking a seat just emphasizes how short you are compared to her; it takes a lot of self-control not to swing your legs like a little kid.

"I didn't know they let kids your age be ninja," Asuka says, pulling out a compact and adjusting her lipstick (while also scanning the rows of guests behind you, you notice).

"Not on missions of any seriousness, usually," you reply. "But simple stuff like guarding Nabiki-chan's dowry from bandits, we can handle that."

She goes stock still for a bare moment (so, she's in on it too), then relaxes again. "I guess so, given how you handled Sorato." She smirks deviously. "Frankly I don't know how you managed to restrain yourself; I'd have gone right for his vitals."

You shrug. "Nabiki-chan wanted us to keep any burglars we caught alive for questioning." You flourish a small half-bow from the waist. "The client's wish is our command."

"Ne... how do you know Nabiki-sama, exactly?" the girl asks. "Are you the daughter of Asuma-san over there?"

"You know Asuma-sensei?" you ask, surprised.

She looks rather embarrassed. "Everyone who pays attention to politics knows the Twelve Guardian Ninja!" she says hotly. "Now answer my question."

[X] "I met her in Konoha when we were kids. Her dad was on some sort of diplomatic trip there, or something."

[X] "I saved her from an ass-kicking when I was three."

[X] "She was in Konoha for some reason when I was a little kid. She tried to talk me out of being a ninja when I grew up."
 
[X] "I met her in Konoha when we were kids. Her dad was on some sort of diplomatic trip there, or something."
 
[X] "I met her in Konoha when we were kids. Her dad was on some sort of diplomatic trip there, or something."
 
[X] "I met her in Konoha when we were kids. Her dad was on some sort of diplomatic trip there, or something."
 
Ct613hulu said:
[X] "I met her in Konoha when we were kids. Her dad was on some sort of diplomatic trip there, or something."

(x) Oh yeah, man, we go way back. We played Princess Kurogiku, that was fun. And then this guy Shisui...
Tell a harmless, funny story. The Uchiha Just Aren't Talked About in Konoha, but Shisui's misadventures should be recorded for all time.
 
[X] "I saved her from an ass-kicking when I was three."
 
Guile said:
(x) Oh yeah, man, we go way back. We played Princess Kurogiku, that was fun. And then this guy Shisui...
Tell a harmless, funny story. The Uchiha Just Aren't Talked About in Konoha, but Shisui's misadventures should be recorded for all time.
Is it cool if I count this as a vote for the ass-kicking one liner? 'Cause this is where that conversational tree goes.
 
[X] "I saved her from an ass-kicking when I was three."
 
Fufufu~


[X] "She was in Konoha for some reason when I was a little kid. She tried to talk me out of being a ninja when I grew up."
 
[X] "I met her in Konoha when we were kids. Her dad was on some sort of diplomatic trip there, or something."
 
[X] "She was in Konoha for some reason when I was a little kid. She tried to talk me out of being a ninja when I grew up."
 
[X] "I saved her from an ass-kicking when I was three."
 
[X] All the truth I know

"... oh, this is a story you need to tell me," Asuka says with an evil grin.

You launch into the tale, leaving out any specific mention of the Uchiha clan, and soon have the redhead in stitches.

"You thought the Diamond Fang was a helpless civilian girl?" More than a few disgruntled grown-ups turn in your direction as Asuka laughs uproariously. "She wasn't competing yet then, but sheesh... don't they teach you kids anything about martial artists?" she asks.

"Until this mission I had no idea that this," you indicate the entire school complex, "was even going on. It's like magic."

She smiles. "You should see the Fort; if the students here are like magicians, Sukaha-sensei's apprentices are like sorcerers."

"You're one of Sukaha-san's pupils?" A memory jumps to your attention. "So you're Meiyaku-san's daughter, then!"

"Oh?" she says, looking very satisfied. "Good of the mosquitoes around here not to forget me."

"Can you clear up a rumour for me?" you ask, and for a second there she gets a deer-in-headlights look, before you continue: "Is Sukaha-san's school on an island or a mountain? No one seems to know."

"Can you keep a secret?" she asks, lowering her voice.

You nod eagerly.

She flicks you in the forehead. "So can I, Schnüfflerin."

"Ouch!"

The quartet over in the corner begin to play a piece of music you recognize. Though it's seriously weird to hear it played on a koto, a shakuhachi, two kokyuu and a shime-daiko.

Nabiki looks a little tired, but she's still a radiant bride in her red uchikake. Her slow procession down the aisle turns heads, and when she reaches Hisui's side, Momiji's there to discreetly snap a photo.

The ceremony proceeds at a sedate, solemn pace, with only the lightest musical accompaniment. The officiant is in the middle of pouring the sacred wine when Hisui picks him up by his collar and yanks him over the altar.

The kunai strike the platform he was standing on, exploding tags at the ready.

"EVERYONE OUT!" Nabiki roars.

You're already on your feet and out of the tent with a confused seven-year-old under your arm when the civilians get the message and scatter. Passing the kid off to the first non-martial artist you see, you scan the rooftops and see a horde of ninja and bandits descending upon the crowd.

"FACE ME, ROUGA NABIKI!" one of them demands. "OR-"

He really should have timed his explosives so they wouldn't drown out his monologue, you think, right ear ringing.

=

You are:

[X] Yamanaka Ino the Fifth! Who else?

[X] The single most pissed-off bride in all of Fire Country

[X] The Dark Lady's Young Apprentice

[X] The Shadowy One
 
[X] The Dark Lady's Young Apprentice
 
While Nabiki would be fun, I feel the need to find out who
[X] The Shadowy One
is.
 
[X] The single most pissed-off bride in all of Fire Country

Curiosity has been drowned out by the desire to bask in righteous indignation.
 

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