NekoNekoBoy
Can
you regale us with the tale of the blackmail fail, here where you can get away with saying most anything?
Alright, sit back a sec as this fluffy tail regale the tale of well, porn.
Note that any image reference of her is not to scale, as she hate's dresses with a passion.
It all stared..... Uh, give me a second mister. Um, um......
I forget.
BUT BASICALLY, all you
need to know is that me and my childhood friend? We got bored. So bored that we started an SI, though really it felt more like an RPG with me as the GM for me. So, yeah, that was a thing....
Until a few days ago when we got into an argument. See basically, she is a lazy and terrible person and just told me straight to my face "I'm lazy, you do my character for me" which kinda struck me hard as a writer. So we got into a fight , threw names around, until I had an idea.
"IF YOU DON'T STOP BEING AN IDIOT WITH A BRAIN THE SIZE IF A PSoENAUT I WILL WRITE PORN AND IT IS FUCKING CANON."
And she didn't, thinking I was bluffing.
I don't bluff about writing.
So I sucked my embarrassment up, had her character go to the nearest wall, and then start fingering herself for no reason.
And instead of acting shocked she just has this tone
through fucking test and messages me
.
"Oh no go on, this makes good blackmail material."
WELL YOU KNOW WHAT?! FUCK OFF, I'VE HAD ENOUGH WITH YOUR SHIT.
This isn't the first time she's tried to blackmail me.
So the next day I go to school and apparently she doesn't know the concept of blackmail as she goes around telling all my friends that I wrote porn of her and then showing them a screen shot of it.
Without context.
Well at the end of that day she and another of my female friends show up when I'm about to take a nap (Which is something I'm not providing context for) and started waving a screen shot of I in my face and going like "We saw it!".
Bitches.
At that moment my fucks to give went to 0 and I pulled up my phone and texted the other girl that I have no regrets and that I don't really care.
Her reaction was of course, standard for someone like her.
"You don't regret that."
Right, well, yeah. I just truly didn't care anymore. And what made it worse is that she just tried bringing it up at every opportunity I was there and I just pulled it into context the worse way possible. Namely, telling people that "She asked for it." And "She was disappointed when I stopped writing it". Eventually people realized that it wasn't blackmail of me, it was blackmail of her and of course began to build a case to hammer that in. Eventually it just got to the point where she was pretty much begging people to stop talking about it. Though not before I managed to get a few chuckles of my own at her.
"Where did you even learn those terms anyway?"
"I took biology class."
"BIOLOGY CLASS DOESN'T TEACH FINGERING!!"
"Not with that attitude it doesn't!"
And that's the story on how I managed to one up her and get the title of Master Writer among my friends. Wow that was long.
Now if you'll excuse me I have to rage at my family for not telling me we had a cookie stash.
