1. Due to issues with external spam filters, QQ is currently unable to send any mail to Microsoft E-mail addresses. This includes any account at live.com, hotmail.com or msn.com. Signing up to the forum with one of these addresses will result in your verification E-mail never arriving. For best results, please use a different E-mail provider for your QQ address.
    Dismiss Notice
  2. For prospective new members, a word of warning: don't use common names like Dennis, Simon, or Kenny if you decide to create an account. Spammers have used them all before you and gotten those names flagged in the anti-spam databases. Your account registration will be rejected because of it.
    Dismiss Notice
  3. Since it has happened MULTIPLE times now, I want to be very clear about this. You do not get to abandon an account and create a new one. You do not get to pass an account to someone else and create a new one. If you do so anyway, you will be banned for creating sockpuppets.
    Dismiss Notice
  4. If you wish to change your username, please ask via conversation to tehelgee instead of asking via my profile. I'd like to not clutter it up with such requests.
    Dismiss Notice
  5. Due to the actions of particularly persistent spammers and trolls, we will be banning disposable email addresses from today onward.
    Dismiss Notice
  6. A note about the current Ukraine situation: Discussion of it is still prohibited as per Rule 8
    Dismiss Notice
  7. The rules regarding NSFW links have been updated. See here for details.
    Dismiss Notice

Hagrid Quest

Discussion in 'Questing' started by Guile, Jan 7, 2014.

  1. Guile

    Guile Clothes That Kill Virgins

    Joined:
    Feb 19, 2013
    Messages:
    13,520
    Likes Received:
    63,709
    Hagrid Quest
    [​IMG]

    “… Rubeus Hagrid, you have been judged guilty of murder. Your wand shall be snapped, and all further tutelage in magic denied. The Wizarding World will not have you. We, the legally appointed Wizengamot, abjure you. You are exiled in our eyes, fit only to live among muggles or worse.”

    The verdict is like the toll of some great bell in your head, ringing again and again. You can't stop imagining those solemn old wizards looking down on you as they pronounced your sentence. The pronouncement is the best you could expect, really. Everybody seemed to think it’s a foregone conclusion, your guilt. Your barrister had gone over exactly what the punishments were going to be, he hadn’t seemed to hold out hope for anything better either. Nevermind that you wouldn’t have hurt that poor Ravenclaw girl, and Aragog wouldn’t have neither!

    You think Aragog might have made it into the forest, and you take some comfort in that. Even if you never see each other again, he’d do all right, wouldn’t he? Just thinking about not getting to see your little Aragog grow up hurts, but better alive and apart than... oh, you think you're crying again!

    The neatly-presented bureaucrat in front of you sneers. Maybe at the sobs you’re trying to muffle with your fist – you swore you wouldn’t cry - maybe that he heard the verdict… but sometimes people just look at you like that. Suspecting you’re half-giant, maybe, not totally human. Or just for being bigger and more awkward than everybody else. Not that that’s your fault, you assure yourself! Your da’ told you, life might be hard, but it wasn’t your fault for being born big.

    “You should be grateful not to be thrown in Azkaban,” Rupert Pennwether told you as he threw the broken sticks that used to be your wand in your face. Or tried, anyway, since you tower over him by at least two feet. They bounce off off your chest before you carefully cup the broken pieces in your hands. “If they’d had evidence you’d killed that muggleborn, you would have been!”

    Your forehead wrinkles as you realize, “Bu’ if they don’ have evidence, why’d they snap me wand?”

    “Well, we needed to show you there were consequences for killing muggleborns, didn’t we?” Pennwether says logically.

    “Bu’…”

    “Enough! Do you think you’re above the law? No, sir, you are not!” Pennwether shuffles the forms in front of him with finality. It's like you just stopped existing.

    It was good your da’ died years ago, or this would probably have killed him, you think sadly as you leave. The doors of the Ministry slam with finality behind you.

    You don’t know what you’re going to do. Starve, and die alone and friendless, probably.


    Before that happens, you could probably try and:
    [X] Throw yourself on Dumbledore’s mercy. Great man, Dumbledore.
    [X] Throw yourself on Flitwick’s mercy.
    [X] Throw yourself on Grubbly-Plank’s mercy.
    [X] Run away to join the giants.
    [X] Run away to join the muggles.
    [X] Put things off until tomorrow. Things will probably seem better in the morning, after a few pints.


    They gave you back your poor wand, snapped in two. Will you:
    [X] Try and get it fixed, in all defiance of Wizard law. (Ideas?)
    [X] Keep it. It served you well, and deserves better.
    [X] Leave it behind you, along with your old life. A clean break, that's best.
     
    Carcer, wildwill, NickNock and 6 others like this.
  2. Guile

    Guile Clothes That Kill Virgins

    Joined:
    Feb 19, 2013
    Messages:
    13,520
    Likes Received:
    63,709
    Reserved.
     
  3. alethiophile

    alethiophile Shadowed Philosopher Administrator

    Joined:
    Apr 26, 2013
    Messages:
    6,560
    Likes Received:
    42,360
    Hmm.

    I'm in favor of whatever path lets us hang out on Hogwarts grounds, breeding progressively more unlikely monsters in the Forest. Which probably means canon-ish, right now.

    [X] Throw yourself on Dumbledore’s mercy. Great man, Dumbledore.
    [X] Keep it. It served you well, and deserves better.
     
  4. Nekraa

    Nekraa Nekraa Moderator

    Joined:
    Mar 2, 2013
    Messages:
    6,146
    Likes Received:
    21,838
    [X] Put things off until tomorrow. Things will probably seem better in the morning, after a few pints.
    [X] Keep it. It served you well, and deserves better.

    Lord of Hell, Hagrid is go! :p
     
  5. TheOtherSandman

    TheOtherSandman Well worn.

    Joined:
    Aug 28, 2013
    Messages:
    7,595
    Likes Received:
    27,273
    [X] Run away to join the muggles.
    -[X]We should go and join the french foreign legion.

    [X] Keep it. It served you well, and deserves better.
     
    NotaWriter likes this.
  6. Chibi-Reaper

    Chibi-Reaper D-Donations plz?

    Joined:
    Feb 19, 2013
    Messages:
    18,158
    Likes Received:
    500,619
    [X] Put things off until tomorrow. Things will probably seem better in the morning, after a few pints.
    [X] Keep it. It served you well, and deserves better.

    Gettin' drunk while still in schooool...... actually, we're out of school now, aren't we? Technically. Not in a good way.
     
  7. Silversun17

    Silversun17 Connoisseur.

    Joined:
    May 4, 2013
    Messages:
    18,051
    Likes Received:
    25,710
    [X] Throw yourself on Flitwick’s mercy.
    [X] Keep it. It served you well, and deserves better.


    edit: Better idea:

    [X] Lie about your age and join the Army, a few years away from everything should do you good.
    [X] Keep it. It served you well, and deserves better.
     
  8. Earth-Destroyer

    Earth-Destroyer Versed in the lewd.

    Joined:
    Feb 19, 2013
    Messages:
    1,660
    Likes Received:
    1,268
    [X] Run away to join the muggles.
    [X] Keep it. It served you well, and deserves better.

    Plenty of sports to make money off of.
     
  9. [X] Run away to join the giants.
    [X] Keep it. It served you well, and deserves better.

    There's more to the world than the like of sneering ministry lackeys! Let's run away and see the sights. Watch the sun set on a giant tribe's home, stalk trolls in a mountain pass. Maybe we'll wrangle a manticore or hatch a lost dragon egg some day. But we'll live in harmony with nature, away from all these meddling little men. With the giants is where we belong now.
     
  10. MHLord

    MHLord Why hello there.

    Joined:
    Jul 24, 2013
    Messages:
    687
    Likes Received:
    150
    [X] Lie about your age and join the Army, a few years away from everything should do you good.
    [X] Keep it. It served you well, and deserves better.
     
  11. Pipeman

    Pipeman Well worn.

    Joined:
    Feb 19, 2013
    Messages:
    7,686
    Likes Received:
    14,336
    [X] Put things off until tomorrow. Things will probably seem better in the morning, after a few pints.
    [X] Keep it. It served you well, and deserves better.
     
  12. Larekko12

    Larekko12 Connoisseur.

    Joined:
    Feb 19, 2013
    Messages:
    15,838
    Likes Received:
    35,429
    [X] Run away to join the muggles.
    Become a wrestler, and possibly even star in some movies.

    [X] Keep it. It served you well, and deserves better.
     
  13. Biigoh

    Biigoh Tanuki Moderator

    Joined:
    Feb 19, 2013
    Messages:
    26,784
    Likes Received:
    94,439
    [X] Put things off until tomorrow. Things will probably seem better in the morning, after a few pints.
    [X] Keep it. It served you well, and deserves better.
     
  14. Xicree

    Xicree Destroy and Rejoice!

    Joined:
    Jun 1, 2013
    Messages:
    21,874
    Likes Received:
    48,745
    Before that happens, you could probably try and:
    [X] Throw yourself on Dumbledore’s mercy. Great man, Dumbledore.

    They gave you back your poor wand, snapped in two. Will you:
    [X] Keep it. It served you well, and deserves better.
     
  15. SemiSaneAuthor

    SemiSaneAuthor Is this not life at its purest?

    Joined:
    Jan 7, 2014
    Messages:
    70
    Likes Received:
    876
    [X] Put things off until tomorrow. Things will probably seem better in the morning, after a few pints.
    [X] Try and stay away from Aberforth's special firewhisky that could kill a Dragon. Drinking that would likely be a bad idea

    [X] Keep it. It served you well, and deserves better.
    [X] Study it, you have that Unicorn hair from the forest and know a few good wand wood quality trees. How hard can it be to make a wand?
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Nov 30, 2014
  16. MrGazzer

    MrGazzer Wabbit

    Joined:
    Mar 3, 2013
    Messages:
    1,061
    Likes Received:
    1,255
    [X] Put things off until tomorrow. Things will probably seem better in the morning, after a few pints.
    [X] Try and stay away from Aberforth's special firewhisky that could kill a Dragon. Drinking that would likely be a bad idea

    [X] Keep it. It served you well, and deserves better.
    [X] Study it, you have that Unicorn hair from the forest and know a few good wand wood quality trees. How hard can it be to make a wand?
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Nov 30, 2014
  17. Redon

    Redon the baka nerbie

    Joined:
    Feb 19, 2013
    Messages:
    1,236
    Likes Received:
    410
    You are trying to get Hagrid to... study anything that isn't beast related... hold on I need some air I think I'm dying from laughter.
     
  18. SemiSaneAuthor

    SemiSaneAuthor Is this not life at its purest?

    Joined:
    Jan 7, 2014
    Messages:
    70
    Likes Received:
    876
    Why do you think I invoked Murphy when I suggested that? O:)
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Nov 30, 2014
  19. Arkeus

    Arkeus Crazy cat guy

    Joined:
    May 20, 2013
    Messages:
    4,177
    Likes Received:
    3,822
    [X] Run away to join the muggles.
    -[X]We should go and join the french foreign legion.
     
  20. Wutnhammer

    Wutnhammer I trust you know where the happy button is?

    Joined:
    Jan 7, 2014
    Messages:
    536
    Likes Received:
    967
    This. All of my this.
    Sounds amazing
     
  21. Vanathor

    Vanathor 『Back In Black』

    Joined:
    Feb 19, 2013
    Messages:
    7,483
    Likes Received:
    15,584
    [X] Run away to join the muggles.
    -[X]We should go and join the french foreign legion.
     
  22. LeoAbogos

    LeoAbogos Versed in the lewd.

    Joined:
    Jan 7, 2014
    Messages:
    1,140
    Likes Received:
    2,526
    [X] Run away to join the muggles.
    -[X]We should go and join the french foreign legion.

    Should be fun.
     
  23. Selias

    Selias Well worn.

    Joined:
    Mar 2, 2013
    Messages:
    5,775
    Likes Received:
    13,094
    [X] Put things off until tomorrow. Things will probably seem better in the morning, after a few pints.

    [X] Try and get it fixed, in all defiance of Wizard law. (You've heard a muggle or two mention something called "Super Glue." There has to be a reason that muggles consider it "super," right?)
     
  24. Vindictus

    Vindictus Experienced.

    Joined:
    Feb 19, 2013
    Messages:
    3,845
    Likes Received:
    4,772
    [X] Run away to join the muggles.
    -[X]We should go and join the french foreign legion.

    Huh. My grandad served in the Legion, before he came over to America. 'Something something elephants wrecking the camps in 'nam, damned bastard things' is all I remember on the subject though.
     
  25. Selias

    Selias Well worn.

    Joined:
    Mar 2, 2013
    Messages:
    5,775
    Likes Received:
    13,094
    The only thing worse than elephants is commie elephants.
     
  26. darklord

    darklord Versed in the lewd.

    Joined:
    Nov 20, 2013
    Messages:
    1,006
    Likes Received:
    249
    [X] Run away to join the muggles.
    -[X]We should go and join the french foreign legion.
     
  27. Vindictus

    Vindictus Experienced.

    Joined:
    Feb 19, 2013
    Messages:
    3,845
    Likes Received:
    4,772
    Funny story, one time before he died and he was talking about the elephants trampling the camp walls in the night, I asked, "The trumpeting?" And his response was, word for word, "That goddamned trumpeting!"

    Gave me a kick, at least.
     
  28. kinglugia

    kinglugia A Randy Avian

    Joined:
    Oct 3, 2013
    Messages:
    22,742
    Likes Received:
    41,877
    ...On one hand, French.
    On the other, Magical Creatures SCIENCE!!!
    ...fuck.
     
  29. gryllidae

    gryllidae Know what you're doing yet?

    Joined:
    Aug 26, 2013
    Messages:
    219
    Likes Received:
    373
    [X] Run away to join the muggles.
    -[X]We should go and join the french foreign legion.
     
  30. Hymn of Ragnarok

    Hymn of Ragnarok Well worn.

    Joined:
    Feb 19, 2013
    Messages:
    5,552
    Likes Received:
    6,670
    *walks in*

    *blinks*

    ....Didn't see this coming. The Quest or the French Foreign Legion. Wow.

    This looks pretty entertaining, if Guile is willing to play ball.

    Surprised no one suggested setting up shop in Australia though. If Hagrid wasn't good natured, it'd be pretty funny to watch him set up a base in the Outback, raising more and more dangerous Australian magical beasts, and plotting his revenge on the Wizarding World.

    Australia! Still the place to go for British criminals.
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Nov 30, 2014
    Guile likes this.