As far as jobs go, debt collection isn't a bad one. As long as you're smart enough to do the tallying and itemization and value assessment, rather than the heavy lifting and intimidation that need large, visibly muscular men.
Of course, there are times when collection trips become a little more exciting than you'd rather. Usually, the imposing muscle does the trick, or there's a brief scuffle as everything proceeds as normal.
You figure out that this isn't how it will go this time right about when you hear the meaty 'chuntk' sound of a knife finishing its casual path around the room to bury itself between the eyes of your help.
It was a temp job for him, just like you. Something to earn a little money before moving on to the next toil... you'd never met him before, and probably never would have again. Now he's laid out on the floor, and you only realize that another of those little knives is headed your way when the tinkling sound of metal on metal tells you that it's been deflected with a dirty spoon.
Of all the places, you've been sent to repo from a bar that's currently serving as a missing-ninja hide-out and neutral ground of some kind. Well, it was a nice enough life, though much shorter than you expected it to be.
"Hold on a minute." The slouching man who just saved your life says, voice slow and lazy. "I'm thinking about something."
There's some displeased grumbling in the gathered lot, and you swallow thickly. Despite that, it seems like the man is going to get his requested sixty seconds... you can't speak for after that. You wonder if you could break and run... no, it's like looking at a pack of wild dogs. Run, and you'll be run down, for amusement if nothing else.
"You remember that thing that got brought up before? How everything's harder without the back-up, or the infrastructure. What cut it off was... who's in charge, right?" he asks aloud.
There's a sudden scattered sound of voices, a few different names.
"Yeah, shut up. Talking here." the lazy man grunts. "But thinking about it... sure, the person in charge is usually the strongest person. But what do they really do, you know? I mean, besides in theory being the last line of defense for what have you. What do they actually spend their days doing? I know we've got people've started off from a few different villages here. Leaf, Mist, Sand... Rain and Grass too, at least." he says, pointing out the visible, though marred, plates of metal and insignias stamped into them. Not all have them visible.
There's a much more quiet muttering, and very faint conjecture as ancient memories are prodded.
"Paperwork?" Someone ventures. Woman's voice.
"Lots of talking to people, but... always a stack of something needed a signature."
"I can't think of... well, handed out assignments directly sometimes, but usually just had a go-between..."
"There's definite... no, that's down-time. On the job it's...."
"Yeah, I figured it would be pretty similar across the board." the lazy man notes. "It's just about... paperwork, entirely. Things that need to be signed, stamped, overviewed, sent off and delivered. Tedious bullshit that eats up your day, and then you spend all of your time off, or nearly, trying to keep yourself sharp just in case since you never see any real combat. It's kind of a drag, and someone's got to do it. But all you really need is to be smart enough to make decisions, capable enough to sign your own name, and dumb enough to be the biggest target around."
The lazy man waves a hand at you.
"... Looks like the answer just dropped into our laps." he grunts.
"You're shitting me." an upset woman snaps, standing up and drawing attention to the heavy looking axe across her back. "What the hell does this weed know about running an organization of ninja, huh?"
"You rather we fight it out, and probably a couple of the bigger deals go down over it? That's start-up funds, I guess." the lazy man points out. "Besides, he'll figure it out. After all, his neck's on the line here too... if he can't hack it, then we can always find another paper-pusher that might appreciate the offer more."
When he smiles, it's like a shark.
"Have a seat... Glorious Leader." he says, voice containing only a trace of very clear sarcasm. "So you tell me. If you were going to found a village, where would you put it?"
....
Good god, they're serious.
You had better be too, then. Your life is hanging in a precarious balance. You have to think. The major countries are out... rich and a lot of space, leaving Wind and it's nearly impossible to cultivate anything deserts aside, but they already have big Ninja villages set up and from what you understand, they don't at all appreciate competition.
So if you were founding a village, and not just being coerced into founding a village, it would be....
----
[ ] The land of Rivers. High transport ability, and many trade routes go through there. If you can get noticed, then there'll be a lot of money going through.
[ ] The land of Rice. Lots and lots of cheaply available food, from the rice paddies nearly covering the whole region. You hear something has been off with the daimyo recently, though.
[ ] The land of Bears. On the plus side, lots of trees and there are mineral deposits to make use of. On the other hand, bears breed like rabbits here and grow very large.
[ ] The land of Fruit Trees. It also produces fine nectars and wines from the fruit. Which may be a downside, since it's plentifully available and relatively cheap.
[ ] The land of Shrines. Austere, picturesque landscape and you'll infuriate possibly countless monks and pilgrims if you harvest the natural resources too freely, but who would seriously look for a pack of ninja-criminals here?
