Chapter 112
Charles Flynn
I trust you know where the happy button is?
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After the absolute disaster that was our second trip to Rome, the next two weeks keep to the routine, albeit without any poisonings, and with the addition of a weekly movie night that does wonders for morale.
Additionally, the summonings prove in equal parts fruitful and irritating. Fruitful because we got some good servants out of the mix, and irritating because we summoned the Red Sea again, set back repairs by weeks and leaving everyone soaked and miserable.
But still, I don't doubt that the Servants will prove useful.
He stands tall and proud, encased in bronze armor, with a hoplite's shield on one arm and a bronze spear in the other.
"Servant Lancer! True Name Leonidas!" he bellows, his cape fluttering behind him. "If you command it, I will hold the line against all the world."
"An honor to meet you, King of Sparta," I say. It's cool to meet him, and all, but I don't think he has all that many non-combat skills. "Please go see Dr. Roman for your work assignment."
The purple-haired, utterly-insane-looking Servant we just summoned looks down on us with a sinister grin and laughs. Wait, isn't he that clown Frankenstein was torturing back in London? "Oh, you've been a naughty, naughty boy to summon someone like me. Servant Caster! True Name: Mephistopheles."
And that is a whole lotta nope. "Cursed Arm!"
"Servant Lancer, True Name- Oh. It's you." Hector of Troy sighs as he looks down at us from the summoning platform. "Well, at least I'm on your side, this time, so you can't turn me into a human pincushion again. Or have your Servants all jump me and beat me into a paste."
"Ah. Yes, sorry about that." I smile uncomfortably. "Well, at least we're on the same side this time?"
"Yeah, sure, whatever." He heads for the door. "I'm off to talk to Dr. Roman. Try not to summon Paris or Achilles."
"Servant Archer," the gun-slinging cowboy I just summoned announces, twirling his revolver. "True Name Billy the Kid."
Oh my god. A Servant with a gun. I can do so much damage with this! He's definitely going on one of my away teams. "A pleasure to have you, Mr. McCarty. Please see Dr. Roman for your work assignment. I'll contact you myself if I need you on a deployment."
As he goes, I can't help but grin to my myself. He may not be able to do much against some of the monsters we've faced, but he'll be incredibly useful against human enemies and Servants.
"Marjani, fire it up!" the rings spin once more and-
For a moment, just a moment, I stare for the second time at two great columns of water, a ravine in the middle of a sea. And then the Red Sea unparts, and pins me to the wall as I struggle to breath, pouring out through the door and flooding Chaldea again.
"Servant Rider, True Name Medusa," the ridiculously attractive, blindfolded Gorgon says, before stopping and staring.
"Y'know, I'm kind of disappointed that you're not a hideous, snake-haired monstrosity. Is that weird?"
"I- um-"
"Hey, no being rude to the lady," Cu chastises me, before walking up to her with his best smile. "Hey. Welcome aboard, Miss Medusa. I'm Cu, want me to show you around?"
"Don't make me get the squirt gun." I warn, to which he flips me off.
"You have a squirt gun?" Medusa asks, looking completely baffled. "Is that why the floor's flooded?"
"Y'know what, I still have a headache from being pinned to a wall and nearly drowned, so, yeah, go with Cu, he'll give you the tour, if he gets fresh with you, tell me or Roman, we'll straighten him out." I wave her away. "Have fun."
Cu leads her off, still looking confused.
"Marjani, fire it up."
"MAIM, BURN, DESTROY!" the scantily clad Servant shouts.
"Lady Atalanta? What happened to your clothes?" dammit, I liked her! Having to kill her would be a pain.
"Shed them! Donned the pelt! BECAME THE BOAR!"
"Well, could you maybe un-become the boar? Because this is very awkward."
"NO!"
"Well, I'll probably be bringing you along on some of our deployments. Until then, can I trust you to abide peacefully within Chaldea's halls, and abide by my rulings, and the rulings of my superiors?"
"Yes. I will obey. But if you, or any of your fellows harm children, I will show you no mercy."
"We won't have any children here for the next eight months or so, so that's fine by me."
"There is a child here?"
"Unborn, but yes."
"Take me to it."
And that's how I end up introducing another maternally inclined, mentally disturbed Servant to Sarah Davis.
"Servant Assassin. True Name, Hassan-I-Sabbah."
"Okay. What's your gimmick?"
Her shoulders hunch. "I am a master poisoner, and my very skin constantly secretes a deadly toxin. It is for this reason that I am called the Hassan of Serenity."
"Cool. Teach me your ways." Wait, that might actually be a problem. "But first, I'm gonna need you to put on a parka, facemask, and pair of gloves. For safety purposes."
"All right, thank you all for coming." Roman says. "You're all probably wondering why I called you here."
"It's kind of obvious," I point out. "We're still running low on supplies."
"No, actually. We're here because we've located the next Singularity."
"Where is it?"
"America."
"Okay, and where in America is it?"
"The entire Continental United States." Roman announces.
I feel the bottom of my stomach drop. "Well, fuck."
Additionally, the summonings prove in equal parts fruitful and irritating. Fruitful because we got some good servants out of the mix, and irritating because we summoned the Red Sea again, set back repairs by weeks and leaving everyone soaked and miserable.
But still, I don't doubt that the Servants will prove useful.
---
He stands tall and proud, encased in bronze armor, with a hoplite's shield on one arm and a bronze spear in the other.
"Servant Lancer! True Name Leonidas!" he bellows, his cape fluttering behind him. "If you command it, I will hold the line against all the world."
"An honor to meet you, King of Sparta," I say. It's cool to meet him, and all, but I don't think he has all that many non-combat skills. "Please go see Dr. Roman for your work assignment."
---
The purple-haired, utterly-insane-looking Servant we just summoned looks down on us with a sinister grin and laughs. Wait, isn't he that clown Frankenstein was torturing back in London? "Oh, you've been a naughty, naughty boy to summon someone like me. Servant Caster! True Name: Mephistopheles."
And that is a whole lotta nope. "Cursed Arm!"
---
"Servant Lancer, True Name- Oh. It's you." Hector of Troy sighs as he looks down at us from the summoning platform. "Well, at least I'm on your side, this time, so you can't turn me into a human pincushion again. Or have your Servants all jump me and beat me into a paste."
"Ah. Yes, sorry about that." I smile uncomfortably. "Well, at least we're on the same side this time?"
"Yeah, sure, whatever." He heads for the door. "I'm off to talk to Dr. Roman. Try not to summon Paris or Achilles."
---
"Servant Archer," the gun-slinging cowboy I just summoned announces, twirling his revolver. "True Name Billy the Kid."
Oh my god. A Servant with a gun. I can do so much damage with this! He's definitely going on one of my away teams. "A pleasure to have you, Mr. McCarty. Please see Dr. Roman for your work assignment. I'll contact you myself if I need you on a deployment."
As he goes, I can't help but grin to my myself. He may not be able to do much against some of the monsters we've faced, but he'll be incredibly useful against human enemies and Servants.
"Marjani, fire it up!" the rings spin once more and-
For a moment, just a moment, I stare for the second time at two great columns of water, a ravine in the middle of a sea. And then the Red Sea unparts, and pins me to the wall as I struggle to breath, pouring out through the door and flooding Chaldea again.
---
"Servant Rider, True Name Medusa," the ridiculously attractive, blindfolded Gorgon says, before stopping and staring.
"Y'know, I'm kind of disappointed that you're not a hideous, snake-haired monstrosity. Is that weird?"
"I- um-"
"Hey, no being rude to the lady," Cu chastises me, before walking up to her with his best smile. "Hey. Welcome aboard, Miss Medusa. I'm Cu, want me to show you around?"
"Don't make me get the squirt gun." I warn, to which he flips me off.
"You have a squirt gun?" Medusa asks, looking completely baffled. "Is that why the floor's flooded?"
"Y'know what, I still have a headache from being pinned to a wall and nearly drowned, so, yeah, go with Cu, he'll give you the tour, if he gets fresh with you, tell me or Roman, we'll straighten him out." I wave her away. "Have fun."
Cu leads her off, still looking confused.
"Marjani, fire it up."
---
"MAIM, BURN, DESTROY!" the scantily clad Servant shouts.
"Lady Atalanta? What happened to your clothes?" dammit, I liked her! Having to kill her would be a pain.
"Shed them! Donned the pelt! BECAME THE BOAR!"
"Well, could you maybe un-become the boar? Because this is very awkward."
"NO!"
"Well, I'll probably be bringing you along on some of our deployments. Until then, can I trust you to abide peacefully within Chaldea's halls, and abide by my rulings, and the rulings of my superiors?"
"Yes. I will obey. But if you, or any of your fellows harm children, I will show you no mercy."
"We won't have any children here for the next eight months or so, so that's fine by me."
"There is a child here?"
"Unborn, but yes."
"Take me to it."
And that's how I end up introducing another maternally inclined, mentally disturbed Servant to Sarah Davis.
---
"Servant Assassin. True Name, Hassan-I-Sabbah."
"Okay. What's your gimmick?"
Her shoulders hunch. "I am a master poisoner, and my very skin constantly secretes a deadly toxin. It is for this reason that I am called the Hassan of Serenity."
"Cool. Teach me your ways." Wait, that might actually be a problem. "But first, I'm gonna need you to put on a parka, facemask, and pair of gloves. For safety purposes."
---
"All right, thank you all for coming." Roman says. "You're all probably wondering why I called you here."
"It's kind of obvious," I point out. "We're still running low on supplies."
"No, actually. We're here because we've located the next Singularity."
"Where is it?"
"America."
"Okay, and where in America is it?"
"The entire Continental United States." Roman announces.
I feel the bottom of my stomach drop. "Well, fuck."