How I Saved History (Fate/Grand Order SI)

[Charles Flynn]

After the absolute disaster that was our second trip to Rome, the next two weeks keep to the routine, albeit without any poisonings, and with the addition of a weekly movie night that does wonders for morale.

Additionally, the summonings prove in equal parts fruitful and irritating. Fruitful because we got some good servants out of the mix, and irritating because we summoned the Red Sea again, set back repairs by weeks and leaving everyone soaked and miserable.

But still, I don't doubt that the Servants will prove useful.

---​

He stands tall and proud, encased in bronze armor, with a hoplite's shield on one arm and a bronze spear in the other.

"Servant Lancer! True Name Leonidas!" he bellows, his cape fluttering behind him. "If you command it, I will hold the line against all the world."

"An honor to meet you, King of Sparta," I say. It's cool to meet him, and all, but I don't think he has all that many non-combat skills. "Please go see Dr. Roman for your work assignment."

---​

The purple-haired, utterly-insane-looking Servant we just summoned looks down on us with a sinister grin and laughs. Wait, isn't he that clown Frankenstein was torturing back in London? "Oh, you've been a naughty, naughty boy to summon someone like me. Servant Caster! True Name: Mephistopheles."

And that is a whole lotta nope. "Cursed Arm!"

---​

"Servant Lancer, True Name- Oh. It's you." Hector of Troy sighs as he looks down at us from the summoning platform. "Well, at least I'm on your side, this time, so you can't turn me into a human pincushion again. Or have your Servants all jump me and beat me into a paste."

"Ah. Yes, sorry about that." I smile uncomfortably. "Well, at least we're on the same side this time?"

"Yeah, sure, whatever." He heads for the door. "I'm off to talk to Dr. Roman. Try not to summon Paris or Achilles."

---​

"Servant Archer," the gun-slinging cowboy I just summoned announces, twirling his revolver. "True Name Billy the Kid."

Oh my god. A Servant with a gun. I can do so much damage with this! He's definitely going on one of my away teams. "A pleasure to have you, Mr. McCarty. Please see Dr. Roman for your work assignment. I'll contact you myself if I need you on a deployment."

As he goes, I can't help but grin to my myself. He may not be able to do much against some of the monsters we've faced, but he'll be incredibly useful against human enemies and Servants.

"Marjani, fire it up!" the rings spin once more and-

For a moment, just a moment, I stare for the second time at two great columns of water, a ravine in the middle of a sea. And then the Red Sea unparts, and pins me to the wall as I struggle to breath, pouring out through the door and flooding Chaldea again.

---​

"Servant Rider, True Name Medusa," the ridiculously attractive, blindfolded Gorgon says, before stopping and staring.

"Y'know, I'm kind of disappointed that you're not a hideous, snake-haired monstrosity. Is that weird?"

"I- um-"

"Hey, no being rude to the lady," Cu chastises me, before walking up to her with his best smile. "Hey. Welcome aboard, Miss Medusa. I'm Cu, want me to show you around?"

"Don't make me get the squirt gun." I warn, to which he flips me off.

"You have a squirt gun?" Medusa asks, looking completely baffled. "Is that why the floor's flooded?"

"Y'know what, I still have a headache from being pinned to a wall and nearly drowned, so, yeah, go with Cu, he'll give you the tour, if he gets fresh with you, tell me or Roman, we'll straighten him out." I wave her away. "Have fun."

Cu leads her off, still looking confused.

"Marjani, fire it up."

---​

"MAIM, BURN, DESTROY!" the scantily clad Servant shouts.

"Lady Atalanta? What happened to your clothes?" dammit, I liked her! Having to kill her would be a pain.

"Shed them! Donned the pelt! BECAME THE BOAR!"

"Well, could you maybe un-become the boar? Because this is very awkward."

"NO!"

"Well, I'll probably be bringing you along on some of our deployments. Until then, can I trust you to abide peacefully within Chaldea's halls, and abide by my rulings, and the rulings of my superiors?"

"Yes. I will obey. But if you, or any of your fellows harm children, I will show you no mercy."

"We won't have any children here for the next eight months or so, so that's fine by me."

"There is a child here?"

"Unborn, but yes."

"Take me to it."

And that's how I end up introducing another maternally inclined, mentally disturbed Servant to Sarah Davis.

---​

"Servant Assassin. True Name, Hassan-I-Sabbah."

"Okay. What's your gimmick?"

Her shoulders hunch. "I am a master poisoner, and my very skin constantly secretes a deadly toxin. It is for this reason that I am called the Hassan of Serenity."

"Cool. Teach me your ways." Wait, that might actually be a problem. "But first, I'm gonna need you to put on a parka, facemask, and pair of gloves. For safety purposes."

---​

"All right, thank you all for coming." Roman says. "You're all probably wondering why I called you here."

"It's kind of obvious," I point out. "We're still running low on supplies."

"No, actually. We're here because we've located the next Singularity."

"Where is it?"

"America."

"Okay, and where in America is it?"

"The entire Continental United States." Roman announces.

I feel the bottom of my stomach drop. "Well, fuck."

 

[Darko]

He stands tall and proud, encased in bronze armor, with a hoplite's shield on one arm and a bronze spear in the other.

Click to shrink...

Ah, much more sensibly clothed than his source self.

"Servant Lancer, True Name- Oh. It's you." Hector of Troy sighs

Click to shrink...

Really hope we see more scenes like this.

For a moment, just a moment, I stare for the second time at two great columns of water, a ravine in the middle of a sea. And then the Red Sea unparts, and pins me to the wall as I struggle to breath, pouring out through the door and flooding Chaldea again.

Click to shrink...

Think it may have a crush on you Charlie.

"Servant Rider, True Name Medusa," the ridiculously attractive, blindfolded Gorgon says, before stopping and staring.

"Y'know, I'm kind of disappointed that you're not a hideous, snake-haired monstrosity. Is that weird?"

"I- um-"

"Hey, no being rude to the lady," Cu chastises me, before walking up to her with his best smile. "Hey. Welcome aboard, Miss Medusa. I'm Cu, want me to show you around?"

"Don't make me get the squirt gun." I warn, to which he flips me off.

"You have a squirt gun?" Medusa asks, looking completely baffled. "Is that why the floor's flooded?"

"Y'know what, I still have a headache from being pinned to a wall and nearly drowned, so, yeah, go with Cu, he'll give you the tour, if he gets fresh with you, tell me or Roman, we'll straighten him out." I wave her away. "Have fun."

Cu leads her off, still looking confused.

"Marjani, fire it up."

Click to shrink...

Potential romance there?

We know that Cu can be surprisingly charming for a horndog, and he is romantically faithful, albeit he's not so faithful sexually.

And that's how I end up introducing another maternally inclined, mentally disturbed Servant to Sarah Davis.

Click to shrink...

That kid is going to have so many weird aunts.

If they manage to resolve the Singularities then I predict anyone that tries to mess with him/her is going to find themselves either poisoned or maimed.

"But first, I'm gonna need you to put on a parka, facemask, and pair of gloves. For safety purposes."

Click to shrink...

This is a hilarious image.

Thank you.

Where is it?"

"America."

"Okay, and where in America is it?"

"The entire Continental United States." Roman announces.

I feel the bottom of my stomach drop. "Well, fuck."

Click to shrink...

Billy should be able to give them an advantage considering his legend started there.

 

[Reven]

Well two things one will Charlie be immune to serenity's poison like the Orginal FGO was making her super loyal to the only one that can touch her?

Also how long before Serenity chokes out Medea for her teaching methods.

 

[caprica12]

Movie night is gonna take a while, uh?
(I suggests Lilo and Stich)

irritating because we summoned the Red Sea again

Click to shrink...

It's this canon or just some original weirdness?

And that is a whole lotta nope. "Cursed Arm!"

Click to shrink...

Excellent decision right there, Charles.

"Servant Lancer, True Name- Oh. It's you." Hector of Troy sighs

Click to shrink...

lol

"Don't make me get the squirt gun."

Click to shrink...

How did a squirt gun ended in Chaldea?

And that's how I end up introducing another maternally inclined, mentally disturbed Servant to Sarah Davis.

Click to shrink...

Atalanta Alter to Goetia: lol you can kill off humanity for all I care BUT YOU ARE TRYING TO DELETE CHILDREN SO I AM GONNA RIP YOUR THROAT OFF WITH MY TEETH.

"The entire Continental United States." Roman announces.

Click to shrink...

Charles is from there, right? Must be hard. Also bc USA is huge as hell.

 

[Darko]

How did a squirt gun ended in Chaldea?

Click to shrink...

Most likely a faulty summoning, kinda like the Red Sea.

Or someone brought it there before the explosion happened for some reason.

 

[Charles Flynn]

Well two things one will Charlie be immune to serenity's poison like the Orginal FGO was making her super loyal to the only one that can touch her?

Also how long before Serenity chokes out Medea for her teaching methods.

Click to shrink...

He is immune, but only when Galahad is manifested. At any other time, she'll just kill him with a touch. Consequently, since he's aware of what her touch does to people, he'll probably never discover his conditional immunity.

 

[Charles Flynn]

I stride into the Rayshift Chamber. Atalanta, Billy, Serenity, Robin, Arash, and Siegfried all await me.

"All right, then. This is easily the biggest Singularity yet. Be ready for anything to go wrong." I sigh. "Time to go home now, I suppose."

We file into the Klein Coffins, and the light carries us away.

---​

We're on a wide, seemingly endless prairie, and-

Is this South Dakota? It feels kind of familiar. I don't remember the place smelling this bad, though.

Then, I see the bodies.

They dot the prairie, the buffalo and the people that hunted them, all cut down and hacked apart without mercy, and left behind to rot.

"Flynn? What are you-" Galahad freezes when he sees them. "What did this?"

"It's 1783. The genocide of the Native Americans by the colonists hadn't started in earnest in proper history," I point out numbly, staring out at the seemingly endless sea of corpses. "Beyond that, these bodies were hacked apart. Not shot." I think I see a family, a ways away. A mother, carrying a baby in her arms, both killed with a single stroke of the sword. The father, dead in front of them, trying to protect them to his last breath.

"So-"

"Whoever's behind this is most likely the cause of this Singularity." A raven lands nearby, and plucks out one corpses' eye. "So we bury the bodies. And then we go to make some more."

---​

As we travel, we find more. Colonists and Natives alike. All cut down without mercy.

Eventually, though, we find a military camp.

'Right. Be ready to go for the kill, if necessary. They might be the ones behind this.'

"Ahoy the camp!"

As soon as I say that we're surrounded by-

Are those red, white, and blue Helter Skelters? With guns for hands?

 

[nick012000]

I stride into the Rayshift Chamber. Atalanta, Billy, Serenity, Robin, Arash, and Siegfried all await me.

Click to shrink...

No Galahad or Saint George?

 

[Charles Flynn]

No Galahad or Saint George?

Click to shrink...

Galahad goes without saying.

 

[FourthPear]

I feel like you're seriously mangling the mythology there.

1) Jason never asked for Medea to fall in love with them.

2) Medea didn't actually kill her father. She did, however, murder her own brother under a flag of truce, committing a kin-slaying and a truce-breaking, which are both crimes in the eyes of men and the gods that are just begging for a smiting. She also later tricked the daughters of Pelias into murdering their father, of whom she was a guest at the time, and whom her husband, Jason, had sworn he wouldn't kill, a vile deed which forced both her and Jason to flee to Corinth.

3) When Jason (understandably) took the first opportunity he got to divorce her and marry into the local king's family, because at that point he hated her for making him break his word and forcing him to leave his hometown, she reacted by brutally and torturously murdering his new wife, Glauce, whose only crime was being used as a political bargaining chip, along with Jason's new father-in-law and all of the children she'd had by him. All to make Jason suffer, with no regard for the lives she's ended in the process. She then flew off and spent the rest of her life working her way through the various courts of Greece, betraying everyone she ever worked for, leaving Jason her dust, reviled and hated for the crimes of his wife, until, at last, he died, destitute and alone in the tattered remnants of his former glory, having lived just long enough to watch as his friends and fellow Argonauts all died young.

Click to shrink...

In short, Aphrodite is a worthless, diseased, CUNT, and everything is her fault.

 

[Darko]

In short, Aphrodite is a worthless, diseased, CUNT, and everything is her fault.

Click to shrink...

Yup.

 

[FourthPear]

I wake up on a couch in a fairly opulent room.

"Oh, good, you're back with us," Galahad comments from where he sits besides me. "You really do make a habit of dramatically fainting at inconvenient times, don't you?"

"Well, we are in Victorian London," I comment. "When in Rome..."

"So you're wearing a corset?" Galahad snarks.

"I mean, you're wearing heels, it's not like you've got much room to judge."

"I am not-" he looks down at his borrowed feet. "Oh God, I'm wearing heels."

"Yep."

"How have I been keeping my balance through all those fights? I've never worn heels in my life! My entire combat style should have been completely turned topsy turvy by these things! Hell, I'm pretty sure that these didn't even exist during my lifetime! WHY ARE THEY HERE?"

"I dunno, but maybe they work like with a centipede: they work as long as you're not thinking about it."

He turns to glare balefully at me. "You're enjoying this, aren't you?"

"Little bit."

"I could kill you, you know."

"I know."

"Thousand different ways, you wouldn't see it coming."

"I know."

"Just here one second and- BAM! -gone the next."

"I know."

"Just making sure you remembered that I could do it."

"But you wouldn't."

"Of course not, where on Earth would I find someone as singularly enjoyable to mock as you?" he grins, and then starts to get up. "I'll go tell Mordred and the Doctor you're awake."

He takes two steps and promptly falls flat on his face.

"You thought about it, didn't you?"

"Fuck off, Flynn."

---​

While Galahad's gone, I take the opportunity to try and contact my Servants.

'Calling all Servants, please respond as soon as you are able.'

I get a chorus of responses. Seems that all of them are still out there, at least.

'Whoever's been in charge since we were separated, speak up. I want a report on what you've been up to.'

'That would be me, Master.' Caesar reports, his voice stern and stoic. ' After Galahad ran off with you, it took us a moment to marshal ourselves and chase after you. Unfortunately, these damn streets are a maze, and Galahad had a head start. Coupled with the fog lowering visibility and dampening magical trails, we were unable to follow. Our progress was further hindered by the fact that, as we pursued, we ran into several strange automata, and mechanical swordsmen, along with bizarre human-shaped white lumps, all of which were extremely hostile.'

'Were they a serious threat?' I ask, concerned. If these things could give Servants trouble, I can only imagine what they'd do to the average Londoner.

'No, not in the slightest. But I don't doubt they could kill your average inhabitant of the city in a heartbeat.' He laughs. ' Honestly the thing that's been giving us the most trouble was how the fog blocks us from sensing you, and the street plan seems to have been designed by a monkey on drugs. Nothing like a proper Roman colony.'

'Well, London was a Roman colony, actually.' I correct, slightly surprised he didn't remember. 'You should know that, because I'm fairly certain that you founded it.'

'Don't be ridiculous, Flynn. I would never be so crass as to found such an utter cesspool of poor urban planning.' Caesar snorts. 'It's worse than Rome, for Jove's sake! The Roman street map was bad enough once, Flynn! No Roman worth their salt would ever permit such an atrocity against proper traffic management to occur a second time.'

Okay, did he seriously not figure it out? 'Caesar, London is Londinium.'

I think I heard a record scratch. 'Londinium? MY Londimium? My nice and orderly Londinium? This atrocity towards urban planning is my Londinium?'

'Yep.'

'WHAT HAVE THEY DONE TO MY CITY?' he roars indignantly. 'My nice, orderly, beautiful Londinium, turned into this sprawling atrocity against proper urban planning? My beautiful street map, mutated into this overgrown tangle? CRUCIFIXIONS FOR EVERYONE! ESPECIALLY WHOEVER PUT IN ALL THE MOTHERFUCKING CUL DE SACKS! I DON'T KNOW IF YOU THINK YOU'RE FUNNY, BUT BELIEVE YOU ME, THERE WILL BE A GREAT DEAL OF CULLING AND SACKING OF BOTH YOUR LINE AND YOUR ESTATE WHEN I'M THROUGH WITH YOU, YOU INBRED HICK! A POX ON YOU! A POX ON YOUR ANCESTORS, AND ALL YOU BRITONS AND SAXONS AND WHOEVER THE FUCK ELSE YOUR GODSFORSAKEN TOWN BICYCLE OF AN ISLAND MANAGED TO SUCK IN!' He keeps going for quite a while in that vein, but eventually runs out of steam.

'You done?'

'Just about. My apologies, Master. It's been a very trying day.' he sends back, sounding honestly contrite.

'I completely understand. So. How lost are you, right now?'

'Very. Er... Could we just... forget about that rant of mine?'

'What rant?'

'... Thank you, Master.'

'I have to sign off now, and go meet with my current hosts. I'll try to get you directions so we can meet back up.'

'That would be greatly appreciated. Thank you, and goodbye for now, Master.'

I grin, and return my attention to the world around me.

There are three sets of footsteps coming down the hall, two of which have the sound of armored feet.

Guess it's time to meet with the guy whose house I'm staying in.

The door opens, and Galahad walks in, followed by Mordred and a fairly handsome young Victorian gentleman I don't recognize, presumably my host.

"Oh, excellent, you really are awake." the man says without preamble. "Allow me to introduce myself. I am Dr. Henry Jekyll. A pleasure to meet you."

"Charles Flynn. Likewise." Waitasec. Hold the freaking phone. Henry Jekyll? "Wait, aren't you a fictional character?"

"I'm... sorry?" he asks, looking utterly befuddled.

"Dr. Henry Jekyll is a fictional character, from the story The Curious Case of Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde, by Robert Louis Stevenson." I look at him carefully. "Also, you're way too young to be the character described in the book. Jekyll was in his fifties."

"I... I'm not sure I..." he stammers, looking as if I'd slapped him.

"Hey! Lay off!" Mordred snaps, stepping between us. "Jekyll's a good guy, all right! I don't care about some book or whatever, he's right here, isn't he? Then he's real!"

"Wait, you aren't a Servant?" I ask, looking at Jekyll curiously.

"No, I'm quite alive and well." he murmurs timidly, still looking quite thoroughly uncomfortable at this line of inquiry.

"And you haven't created the persona of Mr. Hyde?"

"What, I- How did you-" he backs away slightly, and Mordred glares at me.

'Flynn, drop it, you're being rude.'

"My apologies. That was rude of me." I offer up. In hindsight, I should not have leapt straight into social interaction straight after waking up. I'm terrible at it when I haven't had time to prep myself, going at people like they're pinatas instead of ATMs.

"I... need to go," Jekyll babbles, darting away.

"Jekyll, wait!" Mordred calls, shooting me a dirty look before chasing after him.

I... I really fucked that one up, didn't I?

Click to shrink...

I literally laughed myself to tears from this glorious rant. This is the best interpretation of Ceaser's character I have ever seen.

 

[Charles Flynn]

"Are you the Master of Chaldea?" a dark-haired woman asks, stepping out from behind the hyperpatriotic robot army. She wears a dark dress, and a shawl. At her right hand stands a tall, pale man in golden armor, who stares at us dispassionately.

"Merely a humble traveler." I say, making sure to stay behind Galahad. 'Arash and Robin, fall back. Arash, set up at sniping distance. Robin, set up traps between us and the enemy position. If combat breaks out, Galahad and I will fall back towards Arash's position, while Atalanta, Billy, and Siegfried engage them. Serenity, stealth and target the armored warrior with your poison. Billy, the second the fight starts, use your NP and shoot the woman.'

They all tell me they understand, and I return my attention to the woman and the albino.

"A 'humble traveler,' huh?" the woman repeats, sounding amused. "Well then, Mr. Gagngrad, myself and Mr. Karna will still have to bring you in. I think the king will want to see you all the same."

Did she just say Karna?

Okay, we might be stuck with acquiescing to their demands. If it means not having to fight against the greatest warrior in the Mahabharata, then I suppose just going to see their king isn't too much to ask.

Wait. 'King?'

"Ah. This king of yours wouldn't happen to be a duly elected official representing the people of the United States of America, would he?"

She looks slightly uncomfortable. "Well, no, but there wasn't really time to go through proper procedures when the Celts invaded, so he just sort of declared himself Presi-King of the United States of America in the interim."

"I'm sorry to say it, Miss…"

"Madam Blavatsky."

"Madam Blavatsky, but I don't think we'll be going with you."

"We really weren't asking, to be honest."

"I have seven Servants. Do you really want to try those odds?"

"We have a Karna. Do you?"

'Serenity, now.'

My Assassin, who was already moving to get into striking range, lunges at Karna. He kills her with a single thrust of his spear, of course, splitting her in half, but by doing so he ends up drenched in her blood.

'Now!'

Atalanta tears into the knockoff Helter Skelters, while Siegfried crosses blades with Karna. Billy, for his part, draws faster than the eye can see and shoots Madame Blavatsky just below the collarbone, producing two sonic booms in less than a second. As for me, I'm already running, with Galahad covering my retreat.

No pursuit, so I'll call the plan a success.

Arash is waiting for us a mile away (Galahad just up and carried me after the first two hundred yards,) his bow thrumming as he shoots down Helter Skelters..

"Master." He looks at me, bent over and panting. "There are more enemies approaching to the south "

"More of this… 'Presi-King's' troops?"

"No. They are all in various states of undress and wield ancient weaponry. They're led by two Heroic Spirits, and from the language and dialect of their internal chatter, I would surmise them to be Irishmen from the region of Connaught, all from around the First Century A.D."

"Okay, I need to bring you along more often. You're easily the best information gatherer we have."

"Thank you. It's always nice to know you're appreciated." He launches off another five arrows in the time it takes him to say that.

Wait… Medieval weaponry… Oh. Well, at least now we know who's behind the mass slaughter… and it's the army of superhuman warriors. Who are heading towards the army of my countrymen whose fighting strength I just crippled.

'All Servants, fall back!' What the Hell was I thinking? I just heard 'King' and automatically lashed out! Who the hell cares what he's called, he's probably the only reason this whole nightmare of an alternate history hasn't been worse! FUCK! And if the enemy has Servants, I might've just crippled the entire American front by killing Karna!

"Galahad, I may have doomed us all."

"What?" he looks at me in concern.

"I jumped to conclusions and was a bit too trigger-happy. If that's the case, and this American King is not in fact this Singularity's biggest threat, as I first assumed, and is instead the defensive line keeping the genocidal Celts at bay, then I just put us on a timer."

"Yeah, I was wondering why you were so immediately hostile."

"Because he's a king. In America. As an American myself, I can firmly tell you that we. Don't. Do. Kings. It's kind of our schtick." I push my glasses up to pinch the bridge of my nose. 'All Servants engaged in combat, fall back. We have bigger problems.'

Dammit, this means I completely wasted Serenity. As I mentally cringe at the wasted resource, Galahad looks at me, perplexed. "You know, I never really understood your country's issues with the idea of monarchy. Camelot had a king, and you didn't see us complaining."

"Having a nigh impossible paragon of goodness and virtue who was spoken of in reverent awe for over a thousand years after his passing at the helm doesn't mean that your system, by itself, is functional. It just means you won the proverbial lottery. And frankly, if your system needs someone like King Arthur to work properly, then catastrophic failure is inevitable." 'All Servants, fall back.' "Arash, how close, and how many?"

If they're coming from the south, they're going to trap us in a pincer movement. We need to relocate. And my forces are overcommitted against… against my own country's army.

"Less than a mile away. The generals are ahead of their troops, making their way towards us."

Why would they- Oh. Right. Thank God for idiot Celts and their goddamn battle fetishes.

"Cease fire on the American Army. Galahad, prepare to receive enemies." 'Robin, start trapping and set up for guerilla tactics. Atalanta, Siegfried, and Billy, how well have you managed to disengage?"

Atalanta answers me by landing next to me. "Master. I have returned."

"Good."

'Can't get away. That crazy Blavatsky chick is keeping me pinned down.'

'It is much the same for me,' Siegfried informs me solemnly. 'I cannot retreat without exposing my vulnerable back.'

Son of a-

'Master,' Arash sends, interrupting my mental tirade. 'I can get us out from between the two armies.'

'Do it.'

'Tie this rope around your wait while I line up my shot,' he says, filling me with dread.

"Well. If it isn't the Master of Chaldea," an unfamiliar voice says. "And I didn't even have to suck my thumb to find you."

I turn, and two unfamiliar men, one blond and holding a single spear, clad all in white, and the other black-haired, with a mole on his left cheekbone and a spear in each hand. Clearly Servants. While my forces are split, I'm sandwiched between two armies, and my escape route is still in the works.

Silver tongue, don't fail me now. "Ah! Would you be Fionn Mac Cumhaill, by any chance?"

"Oh? And how did you guess?" he's preening. Bit of an ego. I can exploit that. His sidekick is probably Diarmuid Ua Duibhne, and already looks to be gearing up for some sort of correction or complaint. Beleaguered assistant type. I can use that too.

"It was clear from your hair, and all the clearer from the wisdom you claimed to hold in your thumb," I say, turning up the flattery. "From these things, it was indisputable that you are Fionn, son of Cumhaill, king of the Fianna, that legendary godslayer second only to Cu Chulainn himself."

"Oh, please, go on," Fionn says, fanning himself.

"Lord Fionn, we are under orders to kill him, are we not?" Diarmuid points out, looking exhausted. "And besides, he is blatantly exploiting your pride to buy time for something."

"And as for your companion, I would have to guess from his duel-wielding, his mole, and his cowardice that he is Diarmuid Ua Duibhne, the man who stole your fiancé and got killed by a pig," I continue. Best to drive a wedge between them as quickly as possible, and I get the sense that Fionn considers Diarmuid annoying. "May I ask why you're keeping him around?"

Fionn busts a gut laughing, while Diarmuid turns an interesting shade of red.

"You DARE to besmirch MY HONOR?" the First of the Fianna roars, his hands tightening around his spears. "I will cut you down WHERE YOU STAND, you insolent pup!"

"Now, now, Diarmuid, he's not wrong." Fionn admonishes, an amused smile on his face.

"Lord Fionn!"

"I've forgiven you, certainly, but the actions still happened."

"Still, my honor has been besmirched. I demand satisfaction!" he levels one spear at me. "I challenge you! Face me for your insults, that we may duel as men!"

"How many have you killed?" I ask, deciding that a quick change in subject is in order before Diarmuid completely wrecks my shit.

"What?"

"How many have you killed? I don't mean warriors, mind you. I mean the woman and children. I mean the people who didn't fight, who weren't trained for battle. Who wouldn't stand a chance against you. How many did you kill?" I keep my tone friendly and conversational. I can tell that the dissonance is unnerving them.

Fionn's enjoyment seems to have waned, and Diarmuid looks distinctly uncomfortable. "We…"

"It's just that, well, my family traces back to Ireland, and I always considered the two of you to be heroes. I actually admired you. So, it's been a bit of a wrench to find you here in this Singularity, leading an army that I'm fairly sure has been orchestrating the genocide of Native Americans and colonists alike. Really kills the respect and admiration, you know?" I tilt my head. "So. How many did you kill?"

"I have abstained from the slaughter of the defenseless, as has my lord. There is no honor to be found in killing those that cannot fight," Diarmuid says, his back proud and straight.

"But you haven't stopped the armies you've led from killing the noncombatants once you're done killing their defenders, now, have you?" I arch an eyebrow. "A mighty feat indeed, to murder by inaction."

Fionn winces. "Our queen commands that this land be cleansed, so that we may make of this place a land by us and for us, and only us. To deny the orders of our liege would be dishonorable."

"Wow. Committing genocide so you can steal their land. Real original. And 'just following orders' hasn't been a valid excuse for crimes against humanity since the Nuremburg Trials." I pause in mock surprise. "But those haven't happened yet, now that I think of it! And, if you succeed, they'll never happen, mostly because you'll have served as an accomplice to the extermination of humanity! Way to skirt that legal loophole, guys!"

As if to emphasize my point, the charging hordes of Celtic- no, no, let's be honest here, Irish warriors finally reach us, parting around their commanders and running on in pursuit of the crippled American army.

"And what would you have us do?" Fionn asks, gritting his teeth. "We are bound by our honor to serve and obey!"

"You are bound by honor to stain your honor?" I ask. "I believe the answer is clear. Your honor is stained regardless. It is merely a matter of choosing which will bring you greater shame: Breaking your fealty to this queen of yours, or being an accomplice to genocide?"

"Lord Fionn," Diarmuid turns to his commander. "He has a point."

"I know."

"Whatever you decide, I will follow. I swore never to fail you again, and I will keep my word."

Fionn stares at the ground for a moment, before looking up at me, his determination clear to see. "I will be party to this no more. If you will have me, Master of Chaldea, I will stand with you."

Wait, did that actually work? I was flying by the seat of my pants for that entire conversation!

'Master,' Siegfried sends, cutting off my sense of accomplishment with cold, hard reality. 'Karna is almost dead.'

'That's a problem.' Also, there's still the army of Celts. If I don't help, the American forces will be overrun.

'He is employing his Noble Phantasm.'

Wait, that would obviously have to be Vasavi Shakti, wouldn't it? That's great! It'll take out the entire army!

And… we're directly behind that army. I turn and stare as Karna, divested of his armor and glowing with all the fire and fury of the sun, rises, three blades slotting into place on his left as he raises a glowing, golden spear with his right arm.

"GALAHAD!"

"OURGLORIOUSHOMELANDTHATWHICHHEALSALLWOUNDSLORDCAMELOT!"

The walls rise against the thunder incarnate, and the thunder breaks against the doors of home, and a single knight's will to protect. Behind the walls of Arthur's perfect city, I close my eyes, but the glare is still blinding.

Finally, it fades, and I look out at the devastated wasteland. Everything not protected by Galahad's walls or behind Karna is just gone. In its place is only molten stone.

'Robin? Billy? Siegfried?' No answer. Which means that I lost over half my Servants on my first day in this Singularity. Fuck.

In the distance, I see Karna collapse, and Madam Blavatsky run to his side. And I hear her wail of grief as he fades.

"We should go."

The Servants, our new friends Fionn and Diarmuid included, nod shakily in agreement.

 

[Silver W. King]

Wow, you just...really...don't wanna follow any rails, do you? Like not even remotely.

Also wow, that impulsiveness really fucked up the secret weapon for one of the final bosses of this Singularities.

Hope you're lucky enough to pull the Assassin shtick on Medb.

And damn, did not expect your talking to actually work. Wonder if you can manage it on Arjuna?

 

[Kapellan23]

"Because he's a king. In America. As an American myself, I can firmly tell you that we. Don't. Do. Kings. It's kind of our schtick." I push my glasses up to pinch the bridge of my nose. 'All Servants engaged in combat, fall back. We have bigger problems.'

Click to shrink...

A highly subjective opinion, considering that in the Thirteen Colonies alone, thousands of American loyalists fought for the monarchy.

 

[Charles Flynn]

Wow, you just...really...don't wanna follow any rails, do you? Like not even remotely.

Also wow, that impulsiveness really fucked up the secret weapon for one of the final bosses of this Singularities.

Hope you're lucky enough to pull the Assassin shtick on Medb.

And damn, did not expect your talking to actually work. Wonder if you can manage it on Arjuna?

Click to shrink...

To answer your questions in order, no, and quite possibly. Arjuna only really signed up with Evil Cu because he wanted to get in a proper fight against Karna. And it really is telling just how many Heroic Spirits were willing to be party to genocide in order to get a good fight in.

 

[Charles Flynn]

A highly subjective opinion, considering that in the Thirteen Colonies alone, thousands of American loyalists fought for the monarchy.

Click to shrink...

True. But it should be noted that he's a modern day American, and while the sentiment may have been contentious at first, "No Kings, period," has taken on a bit of a life of its own.

 

[FourthPear]

I'm not complaining, I fucking hate BOTH sides of this singularity. They can all burn for all I care. At least Granny isn't inexplicably a loli this time.

 

[Charles Flynn]

---

He will definitely kill Kingu in a lame yet practical way, Won't he? (No epic last moment for my boy)
I know that I'm asking this too soon, but will Enkidu still be clay or he will be the hairy deerman from the original epic.

Click to shrink...

He'll still be clay, but it will be made clear that the hairy deerman was his favorite form when he was, y'know, alive.

It's just that, since he was a malleable shapeshifter, that wasn't his only form.

 

[Illariai]

I feel that the leaders of both sides involved with this bullshit are at best batshit and possessed. Edison is basically Jackie, but with American patriotism, with the 'leader' of the collection being an incredibly egotistical ass. Cu, I actually pity this Cu a bit, not much else to say. Mebd is herself, my recommended course of action is to have Robin Hood make arrows/bolts with cheese wedges for tips and ambush.

Just about everyone else in this deserves pity, or is surprisingly chill, sometimes both.

Edit: for maximum lols, Robin has a very high rank of Sabotage, just get him to replace the parade confetti that gets thrown around during Mebd's parades with shredded cheese.

 

[Charles Flynn]

I feel that the leaders of both sides involved with this bullshit are at best batshit and possessed. Edison is basically Jackie, but with American patriotism, with the 'leader' of the collection being an incredibly egotistical ass. Cu, I actually pity this Cu a bit, not much else to say. Mebd is herself, my recommended course of action is to have Robin Hood make arrows/bolts with cheese wedges for tips and ambush.

Just about everyone else in this deserves pity, or is surprisingly chill, sometimes both.

Edit: for maximum lols, Robin has a very high rank of Sabotage, just get him to replace the parade confetti that gets thrown around during Mebd's parades with shredded cheese.

Click to shrink...

It should be noted that the real Edison, while a predatory businessman, wasn't really all that bad a guy. He was a self-made man, who worked his way up to the top in spite of being homeschooled and having no college degree. He also had a strict policy against making weapons.

His current state mostly comes down to being driven partly insane by the countless presidential Phantom Spirits that are currently lodged in his skull, including the two most prominent, and the ones that could actually manifest as Heroic Spirits: Teddy Roosevelt, and Andrew Jackson.

Addendum: Lincoln, Washington, and Jefferson didn't join the collective.

 

[Illariai]

It should be noted that the real Edison, while a predatory businessman, wasn't really all that bad a guy. He was a self-made man, who worked his way up to the top in spite of being homeschooled and having no college degree. He also had a strict policy against making weapons.

His current state mostly comes down to being driven partly insane by the countless presidential Phantom Spirits that are currently lodged in his skull, including the two most prominent, and the ones that could actually manifest as Heroic Spirits: Teddy Roosevelt, and Andrew Jackson.

Addendum: Lincoln, Washington, and Jefferson didn't join the collective.

Click to shrink...

I was talking more about the fact that he was an absolutely ruthless businessman, and while the Nikola Tesla thing was the most well known, he did have a stories history of snatching other's ideas and calling them his own.

I understand that he's possessed by the collective unconsciousness of the American presidents, but he himself was not that good of an individual.

 

[Charles Flynn]

I was talking more about the fact that he was an absolutely ruthless businessman, and while the Nikola Tesla thing was the most well known, he did have a stories history of snatching other's ideas and calling them his own.

I understand that he's possessed by the collective unconsciousness of the American presidents, but he himself was not that good of an individual.

Click to shrink...

I suppose it depends on where you draw the line. He had his good points and bad points, and personally, I think the good outweigh the bad. But I accept that not everyone shares that opinion.

 

[Illariai]

I suppose it depends on where you draw the line. He had his good points and bad points, and personally, I think the good outweigh the bad. But I accept that not everyone shares that opinion.

Click to shrink...

People are complex as hell, and the fact that servants are basically sapient memes really doesn't help that at all. I mean, you could feasibly have 4 separate versions of Irish Hercules within 20 feet of each other, each with wildly different beliefs and viewpoints.

Edison is just more of a mess than most of the other servants in that regard.

 

[FourthPear]

And oh my god, can Galahad(/Mash) and Charles just shut up and FUCK already!?

No one wants to hear your feral, batshit, courting!!!

 

[Darko]

Wow Charlie, just wow, you really can let your dislikes get the better of you.

Andrew Jackson

Click to shrink...

So how long until they summon him in Chaldea and Charlie has him killed?

So Berserker Cu is dead?

Wonder how Charlie would have reacted to him wearing combat stiletto shoes?

 

[caprica12]

His current state mostly comes down to being driven partly insane by the countless presidential Phantom Spirits that are currently lodged in his skull,

Click to shrink...

Considering how he shamed Diarmuid and Fionn into following him, I can't wait for Charles to verbally tear him/them into pieces.

Addendum: Lincoln, Washington, and Jefferson didn't join the collective.

Click to shrink...

Pity. A flat 'Sally Hemings' may have sufficed.


Honestly, Charles might have fucked up, but I believe the other side is the one most at fault. If you go to the Last Master of Humanity, tell him your boss wants to see you and they are not accepting a no for an answer, you should be fully expecting ALL THE FIREPOWER. Charles has not survived this long by not shooting first.

 

[Darko]

Honestly, Charles might have fucked up, but I believe the other side is the one most at fault. If you go to the Last Master of Humanity, tell him your boss wants to see you and they are not accepting a no for an answer, you should be fully expecting ALL THE FIREPOWER. Charles has not survived this long by not shooting first.

Click to shrink...

Yes, but I think in this case he was being mostly hostile because they are led by a king, and he doesn't exactly like monarchies all that much, not because they were ordering him around.

Both sides have some fault, yes, but Charlie is really going to have to let go, or at least get better control, of his prejudice against monarchs if they want to succeed.

Many of the Servants come from eras where respecting the monarch was very important, so if he just disrespects monarchs for no good reason they may find it difficult to work with him.

 

[nick012000]

Many of the Servants come from eras where respecting the monarch was very important, so if he just disrespects monarchs for no good reason they may find it difficult to work with him.

Click to shrink...

Gilgamesh. Enough said.

 

[Darko]

Gilgamesh. Enough said.

Click to shrink...

He was also shown to be a hard working and competent king when Chaldea me him, yes highly arrogant, but it was at least deserved.

Not exactly a good reason to disrespect someone.