Omake: A Confession Too Late
Emma realized that there was something wrong with her as she walked down the sidewalk after getting off the bus. Well that was a bit of a lie, she had realized that there was something deeply wrong with herself after she shoved Taylor into a locker of rotting garbage and thought that was a good time to restart their friendship. But what she was doing now certainly measured up to that, or at least had similar chances of getting her arrested. Especially since she was planning to break into Taylor's house and root around her things while no one was home.
But in her defense she was desperate, Taylor had been gone for nearly two months now and there was no sign of her coming back anytime soon with even the Boston Wards being silent on the matter when asked. So Emma in all her wisdom decided it would be a good idea to commit a bit of breaking and entering to try and find something that would at least give her a starting point to try and mend things with Taylor. After all if the PRT were willing to let her get away with attempted murder then a bit of home invasion wouldn't be noticed, or at least that is how Emma justified it to herself.
Besides it wasn't as if Emma wasn't taking any precautions to keep from getting caught she wasn't stupid despite what she had thought privately to herself for the past few weeks following Taylor's meeting with the Wards. She was wearing one of her sister's old hoodies that she left when she want to college, it was a bit big on her but good enough to obscure her form and any other defining features. To anyone watching she would appear as just some teen skipping school, which she was, not worth a second glance or that was what Emma hoped.
Coming down the painfully familiar street that she had walked down countless times in the past when going to visit Taylor she spotted the old house. It looked almost exactly like she remembered it from when she had last visited over two years ago, sure the paint was noticably more faded and the yard a bit more overgrown but the details were more or less the same. But more importantly there wasn't a car in the driveway it had seemed that she was right about Danny still pulling double shifts at the docks. Her plan would have fallen apart it he had been home but now it seems she has a few hours to complete her objective.
Stepping up the porch steps and nearly face planting on the broken step which had also remained the same since the last time Emma visited.
Picking herself up and making sure that no one had noticed her stumble Emma quickly and quietly searched around until she found the hidden key the Heberts always kept. The key of all things brought up more painful memories for Emma of better times when she was trusted to know where it was for emergencies by Auntie Annette who was no doubt looking down at her with scorn for what she did.
Brushing aside these thoughts Emma unlocked the door and stepped inside relocking the door behind her. What she saw inside was almost exactly the same as what she had seen outside. Everything was exactly the same as it was two years ago just more worm down like the depressive fog that had surrounded Taylor and Danny following Auntie's death had spread to the house itself. In the fact the only thing that had changed was the accumulation of garbage all over the living room and kitchen. There were empty beer bottles and food wrappers on nearly every surface and both the sink and garbage were filled to the point of overflowing, clearly Taylor was the only one in the house that made an effort to keep things clean.
The state of the house wasn't Emma's concern but she couldn't help but blame Danny for if he had been stronger and had actually cared about Taylor this would have never happened and Emma would still have a chance at fixing things.
No that was wrong she was just mad at herself and assigning blame to Danny because she couldn't come to terms with her own actions. Repressing her thoughts further Emma made to Taylor's room something she could do with her eyes closed despite the distance that had formed between them.
Opening the door despite the growing voice of 'this is wrong' playing on repeat in her mind Emma stepped in.
The room was unchanged, but not in the same way as the rest of the house. There were differences less pictures for one particularly any that had her in them and a new bed for another. Instead it had been left in the same condition probably since Taylor left, her bed was unmade and a thin layer of dust was forming on everything.
Emma felt dirty like she was stepping into a place she was not welcome, it was almost enough to make her turn back but she had come too far and to turn back now was to make this all for nothing. So with that Emma got to work searching going through the drawers and looking around what Taylor had left behind when she went to Boston.
It was when she was rooting through Taylor's closet she found it. Burried all the way in the corner was a box, Emma took it out and looked at it. There wasn't anything special about it but it was the only thing in Taylor's room that she had put any effort into hiding so it was her best hope.
It wasn't locked so all Emma had to do was open the latch and look inside. Within the box there were several items a notebook that had been completely filled, two matching handmade bracelets that made Emma sad to look at, pictures that had been deliberately turned upside down which after a quick inspection revealed they all had her in them, and at the very bottom was a piece of paper that had been folded until it was just a little square.
Looking at the contents of the box Emma realized that thisbwas ironically what she had been hoping for. Everything that Taylor thought of her was in this box, if any place had the clues to fixing things with Taylor it was here.
Taking the journal out first Emma flipped through it before putting it back down unable to read anymore. It was a diary containing everything she had ever done to Taylor described in agonizing detail. Emma took some shaky breaths to calm herself down this whole endeavor was looking more and more like a mistake, but it was too late to back out.
Next was the pictures each one had her and Taylor in them, or occasionally their parents or Anne. Emma knew them well she had the copies back in her room tucked away after Sophia had commented on them, a decision like most other choices regarding Taylor she had come to regret. Finding nothing that could help her in the pictures she put them back in the box this time face up.
The bracelets came out and quickly put back in Emma already knew what they were, at camp Taylor had made them friendship bracelets which had been the first thing she had mocked about her for being childish and stupid. If Emma could she would have gone back to that moment to throttle her younger self for being so stupid but it was too late to go back now despite how much she wanted to.
Finally, there was the paper it was old partially torn, written on a sheet of notebook paper, and folded repeatedly that Emma was afraid it would fall apart if she tried to unfold it. Taking it out gingerly she slowly unfolded it until it was back to full size and what she saw made her heart skip a beat...
Dear Emma Hey Emma Emma, I wanted to say this to you personally when I saw you once I got back, but well I but you weren't in the mood I guess and that's fine. I have been thinking about you us a lot recently and at camp I think I finally realized why. I don't know what you have been going through recently and I don't care I will be there for you, after all you were there for me when I needed you. I know you made it very clear that you don't want to see me anymore, but I couldn't live with myself if I didn't tell you. It doesn't matter if you hate me or don't want to see me again after this but I owe it to you, you were there for me when I needed you most and it wouldn't be right for me not to do the same. Emma Emma Emma Emma I love you, not as friends or as sisters but I love you, I everything about you and I think I always have. I know you probably don't feel the same but that is okay I can live with that just so long as I know you are happy that would be enough for me, even if that happiness means I won't be there for it.
Love, Taylor.
Emma blinked tears from her eyes as she choked back a sob once she finished reading Taylor confession. It hurt, it hurt more than seeing the look on Taylor's face when she walked into the Wards room and saw, it hurt more than all the times she looked back at what she did to Taylor and hated herself for it. Taylor loved her, and she had taken that love and used it to hurt Taylor in everyway imaginable until Taylor couldn't stand the sight of her. She had come here thinking there was a way to fix what she had broke but now she knew, in her stupidity and bullheadedness she had destroyed the last shreads of hope that she had there was no fixing this nothing she could do that could make this right.
So there she sat sobbing holding the letter because she didn't know what else to do.
A.N: This was actually inspired by the recent chapter of the completely unrelated fic
Sisterly "Love" where Taylor admits that she was in love with Emma at one point. So I thought that sounds like a great idea to hurt Just a Phase Emma so this was born. It is mostly just build up to the end there, and I don't think I did the love letter quite enough justice but it still works.
Anyways let me know what you think.
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