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I'm sick and tired of these quests getting reset, In Media Res all the way. New potential players can just make do with a link back to this thread (since it's in the SWF section it should be fine) and maybe a quick summary at the start.
 
with this Boss Battle

I'm sick and tired of these quests getting reset, In Media Res all the way. New potential players can just make do with a link back to this thread (since it's in the SWF section it should be fine) and maybe a quick summary at the start.

Preview



Huh, so that's what death feels like. That hurt.

Also, resurrecting yourself was very disorienting, but you and your champions were in the middle of a fight, no time to really complain. You could barely make out the figure of darkly grabbed ninja throwing a dagger into the shadow of grey jester, who you were pretty sure had blitzed you and slammed the blade of their damn scythe into your skull just after you had to told your champions the plan.

Given the masked and cloaked figure in black and white who was trying their best to smash the scythe that killed you, it still had your blood on it, you think they managed to at least follow part of it.

"Status Report!" Is what you wanted to say, but all that came out was some slurred gibberish, like you were some drunken idiot who had too many bottles. Oh wonderful, now you had to fix that on top of everything else, could anything else go wrong today!?

"That mirror monster is getting back up!" A girl in white and gold priestly robes said in alarm.

…You suddenly wished you had the power to set things on fire, with great intensity.



Thoughts?
 
You could barely make out the figure of darkly grabbed ninja throwing a dagger into the shadow of grey jester, who you were pretty sure had blitzed you and slammed the blade of their damn scythe into your skull just after you had to told your champions the plan.
"garbed"
Remove "to"

I don't see the point of playing coy with all the characters' names like this. It doesn't make this any more accessible or less confusing for new readers, while previous players already know who they all are so it doesn't matter.

I think just having an upfront summary of the Quest so far before starting with the opening of the battle works best. Plus it doesn't have Do-Gi just standing there and letting the enemy charge in and insta-kill him without even bothering to transform into his combat form.
 
"garbed"
Remove "to"

I don't see the point of playing coy with all the characters' names like this. It doesn't make this any more accessible or less confusing for new readers, while previous players already know who they all are so it doesn't matter.

I think just having an upfront summary of the Quest so far before starting with the opening of the battle works best. Plus it doesn't have Do-Gi just standing there and letting the enemy charge in and insta-kill him without even bothering to transform into his combat form.
This is why I shouldn't write things while still technically at work. Work makes my inner writer want to curl up and cry.
 
How's this?



You are Do-Gi, a Starborn currently inhabiting the alchemically created homunculus body formed into the shape of a wolf pup with angelic wings. You have the ability to transform into a mighty War Form in order to fight alongside Champions, and the power to heal the living and resurrect the dead. Potent abilities granted to you for the sake of completing your mission, the retrieval of the Twelve Rings of The Accursed. Given that the last time they were used a literal apocalypse occurred that needed the most powerful and wisest of magical beings to counteract and contain the damage by sacrificing themselves in a massive ritual, you could see how this would be a fairly high priority task. Of course, you were just one eldritch mass of starlight and magical flame possessing an adorable meat suit, and couldn't exactly be everywhere and do everything.

That was where Champions came into play, humans with an Ember of Magic within them that Starborn like you could kindle using Sparks of Potential. This resulted in the Champion gaining access to a powerful transformation and magical abilities usually aligned to an element or theme. In the three days you've been on your mission, you have acquired three Champions. Kuuhaku Chinmoku, a girl who you had personally saved from a giant crow monster, while experiencing a side effect of your blessings that sent you into a fury when confronting the Accursed and their creations, the Dregs. She actually agreed to become a Champion without much hesitation at all, but you had still given her a chance to think about it after resurrecting the foster parents who were acting as her guardians. After that was the recruitment of Yoru Fushigi, a girl who you had found making a summoning circle, a very shoddy one at that, and who had been rather eager to take up your offer as well. She was a bit dramatic, though honestly compared to some of the folk you've interacted with back home she was actually tame by comparison. Finally there was Jihi Kagayaki, who you haven't really gotten to know all that well beyond that she's friends with Yoru and seems to be a very nice girl, altruistic you would say even.

Hmmm, you should consider recruiting some male Champions as well, at this rate people might get the wrong idea and think being a Champion is an exclusively female thing.

As for progress on your mission, well you know that the Rings are scattered across this island city that you've been sent to, and that they have formed their own pocket dimensions to protect themselves. You even had the location for around four of them! Truly, they picked the best Starborn for the job.

Oh, though you have hit a bit of a snag, given you were currently facing off against a monochromatic clown with a scythe who had just demonstrated their strength by backhanding a giant knight clad in mirror armor. So… yeah, you should maybe focus on that instead of going on a mental review of how you got to this point.




"We do have a plan, right!?" Yoru asked, keeping some throwing knives at the ready, while Jihi was still shaking like a leaf in the wind. Kuuhaku was the most calm, staying silent while keeping her gun trained on the 'clown from hell' with a knife made of the vantablack Void Matter in her off hand.

"Of course I have a plan!" You said while transitioning into your war form. "The scythe obviously has some sort of gimmick to it, and removing it will limit the thing's options. Kuuhaku, try to open up a Void Door and drop that wrecked car onto it's head, then we can use Jihi's illusions to keep them pinned down until Yoru can get a good shot at its shadow and paralyze them. Kuuhaku, once that's done, try to shove that scythe into your vault, that should put it out of the fight. Then we hit the thing until it's good and pulverized, preferably at range. I'll keep an eye on that Mirror Dreg Golem. Jihi, if an emergency comes up or these things pull something out of their assses, use your boost to respond. Yoru, steal their shadow when it looks like our enemies are on their last legs. Though… we could try capturing that clown, but don't take unnecessary risks."



Yoru and Jihi both glanced over at you, the Darkness Kunoichi and Light Priestess blinking. "Huh, that was fast-" Yoru was interrupted as Kuuhaku immediately followed your instructions and opened a Void Door under the wrecked car that was on the battlefield and used a second Void Door to drop it onto the clown's head. Unfortunately…

"[VIII-STRENGTH]." The scythe declared in a monotone voice that made your fur stand on end.

…No plan survives first contact with the enemy. A card depicting a lion and a maiden slid from the deck on the scythe and onto one of the three slots on the blade. The monochromatic jester then casually reached up and caught the falling wreckage with one hand.

"…Oh shi-"

And then proceeded to throw said wreckage at you and your group. The four of you scattered, with yourself taking to the sky with a flap of your wings and hard jump.

"Did the scythe just talk!?" Yoru asked in a panic.

"Stay focused, Kuuhaku with me! Jihi, cover us!" You shouted before swooping down as Kuuhaku rushed towards the clown, light bending around your bodies and being woven into images to confuse and hide your real position.

"[XVI-THE TOWER]." Once more the scythe announced and a card depicting a tower being struck with lightning took up the second slot in the blade. A burst of energy shot forth in all directions, shattering the illusions and even dispelling Kuuhaku's void matter knife and the cloud of darkness that Yoru had formed around herself to hide in. You even felt a sharp pain in your true Starborn essence and recognized what just happened. That was Chaos Magic, focused into an pulse to disrupt and unravel the magical energies used in shaping your Champion's abilities. One of the associations of The Tower Arcana is Chaos and Destruction…

"So that's your gimmick…" You said as she glared at the scythe and its wielder. Well, at least it wasn't Fate manipulation, that would have been problematic. Well, even more problematic.
 
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Hmmm, you should consider recruiting some male Champions as well, at this rate people might get the wrong idea and thing being a Champion is an exclusively female thing.
"think"

Yeah, this looks much better as a recap/introduction. Doesn't quite explain everything, like the faction/realm that Do-Gi actually came from, or that he's basically a Mascot, or what the Accursed actually are. But we shouldn't expect everything to be covered by a summary that's supposed to be short, and anyone who really wants to understand it should just follow the link/directions back to this thread to catch up on all the explanations and events.
 
"think"

Yeah, this looks much better as a recap/introduction. Doesn't quite explain everything, like the faction/realm that Do-Gi actually came from, or that he's basically a Mascot, or what the Accursed actually are. But we shouldn't expect everything to be covered by a summary that's supposed to be short, and anyone who really wants to understand it should just follow the link/directions back to this thread to catch up on all the explanations and events.
Well, I could also just put it into a Data/Lore Book thing under an Informational Thread-mark, which SV has.
 
Please tell us when it's up somewhere else, ya?
Of course I will, it would be kind of a dick move to not do that.

For those of you who are transferring from here to the new place, I shall reveal a secret for your troubles.

There are 20 total potential Champions, including the 3 you currently have.
 

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