OverMaster's Little Crummy Corner of Sub-Par Writing

[OverMaster]

And that was how the School Festival ended.

---

"-- and that's why she must stay over at Master's until we can figure out what else to do," Negi finished explaining, as they stood in one of the many elevated platforms of Colonel Sanders' resort, with Chamo, Chisame, Satomi, Chao and Matoi standing shortly behind him. A nearby waterfall roared, but not loud enough as to make Negi's words difficult to listen to. "Unless you could do something else to help with her situation, and you wouldn't mind doing so, which is why she's here..."

"No, it's why you brought me here against my knowing best he won't do absolutely anything about it," Chao sighed, folding her arms and shaking her head.

"I see," standing with his back to them, quietly watching over the majestic underground landscape, the man also known as Imma Albireo smiled faintly. "Yes, the Magic Associations don't forgive easily, and I think I know a few things on the subject. I'm surprised Kitty-chan allowed her to stay at her home, however."

"It was just a favor to Chachamaru," Chao shrugged. "So you won't do anything about it, ne?"

"Well, I could offer you a place here, but it would be so scandalous for a lovely young girl to live all alone with an old bachelor like me...!" Albireo chuckled slightly, in a way that was so... not traditionally virile... it would have made anyone feel safe leaving a young girl with him.

Chao glanced aside at Negi. "I told you so!"

""You know," Satomi told her in turn, "the longer you spend out of what I now realize was your emotional comfort zone, the more I suspect Chisame is your femle ancestor."

Chisame made a face. "Whether that was meant as praise or insult for either, please don't ever say it again!"

'Colonel Sanders' chuckled as he turned back to face them. "I imagine, then, you are ready for your answers now, aren't you, Negi-kun?"

He blinked. "Ah? But... but the terms were that, if I won...!"

"The terms were," the robed man interrupted, "if you won, I'd tell you about your father. But I never mentioned anything about not telling you if you didn't win."

Negi's face lit up. "Colonel!"

The delicately handsome man pulled a Pactio card with his figure and name out of one of his wide white sleeves. "Yes, Negi, your father is still alive. Or else the proof of our contract wouldn't stand, as it clearly does."

"... that was a Pactio of blood, wasn't it?" Chamo asked.

"No," Albireo smoothly contested, making Chamo collapse into gags and chokes of disgust, a paw on his stomach. Negi was too startled to really care or even register that point, though. Matoi primly wiped the blood of her nose with a tissue. "As for further information, it would probably be a good idea to return to Wales. And checking around its gate to the Magical World."

"The Magical World...!" Negi repeated.

"Phooey," the ermine grunted. "So, we had the answer right there, so close to us, the whole time?!"

"Are you implying," Satomi asked, "the whole trip here and Negi's stint as a teacher was a waste of your time?"

He pouted. "I never said that! I'm sure the Bro wouldn't have gathered such a fine host of hotties around him had he stayed at Wales! Although... there was that blond girl in Merdiana who was really cute... and of course there's Anya-sis... and..."

Chisame absently crushed him under a heel.

"ANIMAL ABUSE!!"

Chao cringed at took a hand to the bandage on her head. "Could you please not stomp on others' heads while I'm around? I can't believe even Konoka-chan couldn't heal this... Ritsuko-san is a truly fearsome person..."

---

Negi stopped by the end of the hallway, right before stepping down the first step of the stairs, and so Chisame came to a halt of her own behind him.

"I can't stop myself anymore than Chao could," the boy said after a moment of contemplative pause, his head hanging down. "The one thing I cannot do is stopping myself from going after him. I know you won't approve of this. And I am genuinely sorry to disappoint you like this. But--"

"No," she calmly interrupted him. "It can't be a disappointment, since I wouldn't have expected for anything else from you. None of us would have."

"I will return to Wales," Negi said with an air of quiet finality to him, "but I expect to return, of course. Although nothing is ever certain, and so I hope you realize..."

He could not finish the sentence, but he kept his eyes firmly on Chisame's.

Eventually, she only sighed, her shoulders drooping. "Okay, fine, I'll go with you."

"That isn't what I was asking for," Negi said. "I only was asking for your understanding in--"

"Look, we both know that, if you had really wanted to keep your purpose a secret, not that you could have after what Kentucky Fried told you under the island, you'd have tried to sneak away without telling anyone," Chisame said. "Not that it could have worked either, as by now Haruna and Debochin-sempai have an Anti-Negi Escape surveillance net all around Mahora..."

"They do?!" he gasped. "How?!"

"That's not important, you idiot!" she told him. "It beats going with Sora, Kobato and Kodaka to meet Uncle for the vacation, so alright, I'll go make sure you don't get yourself killed. Again!"

"No," he said.

"Yes," she said.

"No!" he insisted, actually frowning at her.

"Are you actually going to challenge us on this matter?! Haven't you learned anything about picking your fights by now, snot?!" she shot back.

They stared into each other's eyes fiercely, in a true duel of wills, both standing their ground at the top of the stairs.

Kotegawa Yui stopped before them in her way down, waiting for them to either stop staring or start kissing, at which point she actually could shout at them for their indecency. However, as the moments passed and they just remained there, not even blinking despite of how red their eyes were turning, she had to take a fist to her mouth and cough delicately. "A-hem. Sensei, Hasegawa-sensei, you are blocking the way for those of us who have things to do..."

They gulped and instantly backed away in opposite directions.

"Thank you," Yui coldly said, walking down the steps. Then she gave a look back over her shoulder. "By the way, what was that about, anyway?"

"We're going to Wales for the summer vacation," Chisame answered.

Negi found himself nodding, and only then realized he was nodding. He also realized Chisame smirking down at him, in a harsh and triumphant fashion.

And he knew he had lost. Yet again.

 

[OverMaster]

Evangeline's Resort:

"I... I know this is going to sound very bad, but..." Asuna doubted, scratching herself on a cheek, "but I'm not that sure I'm going. I mean, not like I have anything against spending time with any of you guys but that single person, but I was looking forward to spending some time with Takahata-sensei..."

"He already rejected you, however," Ayaka reminded her.

"That's why you're that single person!" Asuna growled at her. "And karma's going to bite you back in a big way over telling me that, mark my words!"

"Would you rather have me feeding you with false hopes?" Ayaka asked her.

"I'd rather not having you feed me with anything, it might be poisoned!" Asuna shot back.

"I think," Negi said, "Takamichi is going to be sent away for two weeks in a mission for the Headmaster, but if you still want to stay I'll fully respect your decision, Asuna, it's--"

"Oh, is that so?" Asuna huffed. "Bummer! Never mind then, if that's the case I'm going! If I'm not around you guys fold down like a castle of cards as soon as anything magical is thrown your way!"

"Seriously, Asuna-san," Ayaka coldly said, "if you are absent, whatever will happen to your very important paper route...?"

"Print newspaper is a dying medium, who cares!" Asuna finally acknowledged the truth with a flippant wave of a hand. "I'm sure they can replace me with anyone for a week or two without much of a hassle!"

"Alright then! Let's do it!" Haruna pumped a fist up.

"YEAH!" said Sakurako, Misa, Haruka, Sora, Misora, Satomi, Konoka, Setsuna, Asuna, Kotaro, Yuuna, Makie, Skuld, Keiichi, Chao and Ayaka all at once, pumping their fists as well.

"... yeahhhh," Cocone said a moment later, tiny brown fist slowly rising.

Ayaka then looked at Chao. "... and, may I ask why are you inviting yourself as well?"

"Because I'll be safer at Mundus Magicus than here?" Chao asked back.

"Now, now," Negi said, "as long as you are under the Master's protection, no one will come for you..."

"No, I mean it," Chao said. "Chachamaru-chan or not, each day that I pass here it's one step closer to the edge for me," she added, pointing towards the end of the floating platform they were on.

"I push whenever I'm pushed, and a certain person's presence has already been pushing me for quite a while," Evangeline commented, from where she sat at a distance quietly sipping on the tea her favorite servant was pouring for her.

---

"Hey, Setsuna-san," Asuna rasped, in between furious and fast flurries of her harisen against Setsuna's sword. Both girls were sparring together under a scorching artificial sun, and had been doing so for the best part of a hour now. "About what I said earlier, about you being no good with magic if I'm not close..."

"You only were saying it for Negi-sensei and Iinchou, I know," her trainer nodded, skillfullly dodging another of Asuna's swings and countering with a successful slash at her shoulder, cleanly slicing off the single short sleeve Asuna had left on without touching the flesh. Asuna groaned to herself, annoyed at having another perfectly good shirt ruined. They all had been losing a lot of clothing articles that way, ever since starting training under Eva. "I'm aware you didn't mean to slight any of us."

"Right!" Asuna smiled, blocking against Setsuna's friendly barrage of rapid thrusts. "I'm glad you understand me so well! I didn't mean to offend anyone but Iinchou, not even Negi, really. It's not like I'm super necessary or anything..."

"Don't say that," Setsuna smiled, kicking her in the stomach to push her back and buy herself more time and room to try another approach. "You improve surprisingly fast, day by day. I've trained others before, and you are the pupil who has developed the fastest under my watch. Even Tsukuyomi's development rate can't compare!"

"Eh? Are you serious?!" Asuna beamed, blushing a little while Setsuna lunged at her and she flipped aside out of her direct way. "W-Well, thank you, I've had the best teacher after all!"

"That may be true," Setsuna admitted without the self deprecating modesty she would show around Konoka, putting added pressure on Asuna's less skilled left side, "But your own capacities are not to be understimated. Your own effort is the main reason behind your improvement, Asuna-san, and I'm sure Eva-san feels that way too. Don't tell anyone, especially not her, but she's told me to keep a particular focus on your formation as a fighter. Even if she won't say it, I'm sure she has an interest on you second only to that she has on Sensei."

"Oboy. I'm so not sure how I feel about that. Aaaaaand speaking of the devil!" Asuna said right then, head briefly tilting aside, towards one of the entrances to the outdoors squared circle.

"Kagurazaka Asuna," Evangeline said while stepping into the resort's main arena, making Setsuna and Asuna slow down in their sword practice. "Stop that immediately. I have a special test for you."

Asuna did as told, and a moment later was whacked down to her knees by Setsuna's wooden sword. "Hey! Setsuna-san, why did you do that?!"

"My apologies. You were told to stop, I wasn't," Setsuna bowed deeply, lowering the bokken. "I'm afraid the instincts of fighting for real, taking advantage of every opening and chance, are still too strong in me..."

"Those aren't bad instincts to teach, so you shouldn't apologize," Evangeline then asked her, "What's your performance assesment on this girl, Sakurazaki?"

Setsuna straightened up. "Her rate of progress is certainly impressive. Almost as much if not more as Negi-sensei's. Not only she caught on the Kanka Takahata-sensei taught her almost immediately, but her understanding of battle strategy is surprisingly far better than her understanding of any other subject..."

"I'm good at Arts too!" Baka Red protested.

"Combining all of that with her natural speed and keen senses, I think she has the potential to become the strongest of us eventually," Setsuna added.

"Eh?! Really, I do?!" Asuna gasped.

"That isn't saying much, considering your team is lacking true powerhouses like Tatsumiya, Nagase or even Ku Fei," Evangeline scowled, pushing her glasses up her nose.

"Why are you wearing glasses?" Asuna belatedly realized.

"They make me look as smart as I am," Evangeline muttered. "Fine, if your mettle is as good as Sakurazaki says, then I'll have to put you through a test unfit any of the others, even Boya..."

Asuna blinked, her bells ringing like alarm signs. "W-What do you mean?!"

Evangeline smirked.

---

"W-W-Wait a moment here... WHERE THE HECK I AM?!" Asuna yelled to the icy wastelands.

"Do you like it?" Evangeline smirked, sitting on a gigantic boulder that towered over Asuna. Even the furious winds that hit the redhead with incredible ferocity were barely moving the vampire's hair. "It's my lovely special training course for you. I based it on the Himalaya mountains, have I ever mentioned to you geography is one of my many cultural hobbies?"

"W-What kind of test is this, a test t-to see how fast you can kill me?!" Asuna protested, hugging her upper body and falling on her knees into the thick snow. "And wh-why didn't tell me to bring winter clothes?!"

"Oh, don't be such a baby," Eva snorted. "You can use Kanka, so all you have to do is combining it with your Chi to warm yourself up."

"I can do that?!" Asuna gasped, before realizing it was worth a try. Closing her eyes, she concentrated on gathering Kanka in a hand and Chi in the other, and then brought them together under Evangeline's attent supervision. "Hey, I can!" Asuna cheered, opening her eyes. "I feel so much better now! Thanks for the tip, Eva-chan! So I passed the test, right?"

"Of course not, you idiot," Eva muttered. "You realize you can't keep doing that indefinitely, don't you? If your Kanka and Chi keep leaking out at that rate, you'll collapse in... around thirty minutes or so, I estimate. Then hypothermia will kill you in another thirty, more or less..."

"I THOUGHT YOU WANTED CHAO OUT OF YOUR LIFE, NOT ME!"

"There's a big cave up the mountain, which will be your new home," Evangeline said, pointing uphill with a thumb. "If you use your kanka and chi wisely while you are there, you might just survive for a week."

"ONE FULL WEEK?!"

"That's as long as you have to stay in this habitat to pass the test," Eva nodded. "Otherwise, I'm kicking you out... well, I guess I can't kick you out of Boya's stupid club, but I certainly won't be admitting you at my home anymore."

"Gah," Asuna said, before looking up.

WAY up.

Oboy.

"Do I have to climb all the way...?" she asked.

"If you've learned how to fly, I won't have any objections on your flying up there," Evangeline shrugged. "I left matches and wood in the cave, so you can cook your meals. But I'd advise against keeping yourself warm with them, as the reserves are limited. There's also a small lake at the bottom of it, so you can have something to drink. Any questions?"

"What will I eat?!"

"I'll bring you a meal for you to cook each time you can survive my attacks."

"Which attacks?!"

"These attacks," Eva answered, bringing her hands up. "MALLEUS AQUILONIS!"

And she tossed a collossal sphere of magical energy at her. As the sphere rolled across the ground in pursuit of a screaming and flailing Asuna, it amassed a thick layer of snow and ice around it, until Asuna leaped aside and the ball rolled down a cliff.

Asuna panted and wheezed, shaking in terror and cold, before rage kicked in. "What if I had died?!"

"Well, you have no relatives, so I'd arrange your funerals and burial..."

"That's not what I was talking about!"

 

[OverMaster]

"And I told her 'Why, those are the thanks I get for taking care of your funeral arrangements?' and threw an avalanche at her. Then I flew away and took the best damn hot bath of my life," Evangeline finished, sitting at the head of the large dinner table and sipping from a cup of expensive wine. "Can you believe the nerve of that stupid girl?"

The members of Ala Alba arranged around the table all stared at her in a wide eyed show of pure, pale naked horror and shock, except for Negi, who was too busy doing a spittake of his juice all over the mantle. He choked briefly as Chachamaru moved behind him and patted his back, then cried at Evangeline, "And you simply left her there?!"

"I've just said that's exactly what I did, haven't I?" his teacher/student glared at him condescendingly.

Ayaka slammed both hands on the table. "Evangeline-san, how could you! You must take us there immediately! With some luck, Asuna-san won't be dead yet...!"

"How, how will we be able to explain this?!" Misora waved her arms around, eyes spiralling. "There'll be an inquiry! The Headmaster will be mad! Sister Shakti, too!"

Evangeline rolled her eyes back. "Please, she'll be just fine! The reputation of kanka as 'the ultimate art' is overblown, sure, but it's not completely unfounded. Just by activating it, the user gets granted a bonus on strenght, endurance, magical defense, stamina, and resistance against poisons and cold! If she makes a smart use of it, combined with what I left for her, she should be okay. I'll go check on her in a few hours anyway."

"Oh, so it's like the Kaio-ken?" Konoka asked, briefly putting the Drag On Ball manga she had been reading after finishing her meal down.

"We're talking about Asuna-san, it's impossible she could give a smart use to anything!" Ayaka despaired. "How could you put her in a situation where her survival depends on her intelligence!"

"Iinchou, please don't understimate Asuna-san," Setsuna told her. "Her fighting and survival instincts are much sharper than you give her credit for. In all honesty, other than her academic grades, she is an actually fairly intelligent girl."

"It's true she's got common sense," Misa allowed, "but..."

"Common sense isn't worth anything against deep freeze temperatures!" Madoka completed the idea for her. "One day, maybe, but SEVEN?!"

Kotaro rubbed his chin thoughtfully. "Yeah, it's true Neesan is the strongest of all you guys but Setsuna-san, but even so, this seems kinda excessive for her... 'Sides, I'm offended! Why wasn't I given the same treatment, old witch?!" he angrily pointed at Evangeline.

The vampire raised an eyebrow. "Oh? You only had to ask if you wanted to be abused and thrown onto the cold. That's the only thing mutts are good for."

"Master," Chachamaru said, "if they don't get to see Asuna-san is fine, they'll never have an easy mind, and they won't be able to train properly all week long. Don't you think you should, just to put their minds at ease...?"

"No! I know them well!" Eva growled. "If I take them there, they'll start trying to make things easier for her, and the idea is for this to be a test she has to take alone!"

"Master!" Negi gasped, taking a hand to his chest. "Do you take me for a cheater?!"

"Well," Keiichi said, "you are the type who will take shortcuts to any possible solution. Not that I'm saying that's a bad thing, it's better than Kotaro's mindset, but..."

"Hey, I thought you and I were friends!" Kotaro snapped.

"Besides," Makie pointed out, "Negi-kun's just got too much of a tender heart to let anyone suffer..."

Evangeline nodded. "Right, right. If he goes there he'll only get back even more antsy and unable to perform properly!"

"Then take me!" Ayaka said. "Um, seeing me there to, ah, mock and taunt on her misery will only crush Asuna-san even further, isn't that right what you want?!"

"No, are you stupid?" Eva asked back. "You'll just start crying, hug her, and refuse to let go! You love her even more than Boya does!"

"No, that's a lie...!" Ayaka wailed. "I'll be bad to her, I swear...!"

Konoka closed the manga with a sigh. "Eva-chan, you have overlooked an important part of Asuna's training. It is imperative you take us to her, since from what you told us, you neglected something nobody should spend a week without, and we must deliver it to her."

Evangeline sneered. "Oh, don't tell me! What could ever be as important as to--"

"You forgot the toilet paper, Eva-chan," Konoka evenly reminded her.

Evangeline blinked. "Oh... Yes, that would be right. Even one as evil as I should not go quite that far..."

---

Kotaro sniffed the footprints on the snow leading towards the mouth of the cave. "Yeah, this her, definitely. Fresh enough, too, she can't have gotten there more than one hour ago..."

"What do you mean with 'it's her?'!" Evangeline angrily demanded, standing behind him with Konoka, Setsuna, Ayaka and Negi, all in thick winter fatigues and hooded coats."Who else could it be, Mrs. Bigfoot?!"

"Asuna-chaaaaaan!" Konoka called out, walking into the cave with Setsuna hanging shortly behind. "We brought you toilet paper, mittens, wool socks, and a thermos with hot cocoa...!"

"It is the first and last hot cocoa you will be allowed during the duration of the test, and I already drank more than half of it, Kagurazaka!" Eva entered after them, with the two boys closing the formation, and a fearful Ayaka rushing from the back to the forefront, aiming a hand lamp in all directions and squinting. "Where are you, moron? Don't tell me your body gave up this soon!"

"I'm... here...!" came a voice from the end of the cave, trembling and accompanied by the chattering of teeth, and Ayaka ran in that direction, making the figure sitting in the darkness, before a tiny fire, gasp, "Iinchou! You came here to laugh at my misery?!"

"Of, of course I did!" Ayaka bawled, dropping to her knees next to a slightly blueish-skinned, shivering Asuna, and tightly hugging her against herself, as if never wanting to let go. "You, you know I'd never miss a chance to enjoy your humil-- Oh my God, you poor sweet thing, you're so COLD! Evangeline-san, you MONSTER!"

"See?!" an upset Eva told Negi. "I just knew this would come to pass!"

Negi blinked, looking at all the fresh graphitti on the walls of the cave. "Wow, you really are good at artistic drawing, Asuna. Fast too, since you haven't been here all that long yet. But I have to question why Takamichi is wearing so little in the way of clothes, in all of these..."

"W-W-Well, I had to keep myself hot, somehow!" Asuna answered, her cheeks flushed bright as she allowed her head be nestled between the breasts of a cooing, shoulder-patting Ayaka,

 

[OverMaster]

Kaga Ai.

One day, when she happened to run into him in the resort, and there was nobody else around, Ai began her standard frantic apologizing to him over her clumsiness, even though they hadn't really clashed and she hadn't even actually touched him.

For some reason, Negi-sensei's eternal patience cracked down just a bit that one time, and while he was still gentle and polite in his tone, he also was firm enough as he said, "Kaga-san, I know you are Japanese, but please, never apologize over anything you aren't really sorry for."

That was why, all in all, Ai didn't like Negi-sensei that much. Because he knew.

 

[OverMaster]

Type-Moon and Nasu Kinoko created and own Fate Grand Order.

All other characters and franchises mentioned here belong to their respective copyright owners.

---

She had been one of the first to be summoned, for a War nobody knew how long would last, much less her, and back then, the facilities had looked so large, so sterile, so eerie. So empty.

Most of the staff, she had been told, had been decimated shortly before her arrival. That left a dramatically understaffed organization inhabiting a building the effective size of a small village, and the whole site now seemed much bigger and overwhelming than it really was-- and that had been plenty in the first place.

In what concerned to Servants, there was the Caster, of course, and the half-Servant. Shortly after his arrival, the Master had also summoned the other Caster, and now, of course, there was she as well. The petite, lithe Servant who now was making her way around the complex with no apparent weight or sound to her, like a living shadow moving across the shiny, antiseptic surfaces of the areas that had been repaired already, and a random passerby would not have been able to detect her presence at all until it was too late for them.

Of course, Hassan of Serenity was not on the prowl for murder this time. The Master had been adamant she should treat everyone in the complex as allies and friends, and she had agreed like a good subordinate. She was, after all, well used to the trapings of working within an organization, even if the last one had been so much better manned than this one, which obviously had been dealt a decisive blow before her arrival-- one so large, it seemed, she doubted they could ever recover even before they really started fighting.

However, the Beautiful Assassin prided herself on being a good, dutiful soldier, and since she had been summoned, she would follow her instructions to the letter even if it was for a doomed cause. So when she had asked Master what were his first instructions, and she had just smiled and kindly told her, "Just make yourself at home, Assassin," she had simply gone to do exactly that.

To feel at ease anywhere, the first thing she had to do was getting to know the grounds she would be inhabiting.Not to mention those she would be sharing them with. So far, the Assassin's impressions on the subject were clear; there was much empty ground to cover, and precious little in the way of allies and comrades to be found anywhere. On the plus side, she guessed, that also meant there would be less people around to be threatened and harmed by her presence.

This was the mindset of Hassan of Serenity that early morning, trapped within a subworld where the concept of days of the week had ceased to have any real importance along the rest of the world that had disappeared outside.

This was the relatively carefree mindset she had right before getting to know the other Assassin.

---

Too Many Fates.

---

Chapter One: The Zealot and The Lawless.

 

[OverMaster]

Put Your Hand Behind Me.

"That... That won't work, at all," Bathory said, as the newest Servant in Chaldea kept on stroking her tail with a small, yet forceful hand. "It isn't like yours, you idiot..."

Temptress, better known in life as Momo Belia Deviluke, pulled her hand back, disappointed. "Oh! What a shame, then..."

"Did I, at any point, ever imply you should stop regardless?!" the Lancer growled back at her, roughly grabbing the hand and putting it back on the tail.

 

[OverMaster]

Fantastic Fou.

"This," Da Vinci smiled, gesturing towards the impossibly complicated looking latest device, "is my latest invention! The Accelerator of Cosmic Energy! It can gather and channel the universal forces out from outer space and super charge objects and even individuals, granting them fantastic abilities far beyond those of humans or Servants. Of course, it is still in the experimental stages of--"

"Sensei, Mash, look out!" Ritsuka cried. "It's about to explode!"

"... well, it didn't take long this time!" Caster observed while she, Mash and the Master quickly rushed out of the way to safety. Someone else, however, was not as fortunate...

"FOUUUUUUU!"

---

"FOU!" Fou said, turning his upper limbs into super stretched legs that strongly walloped Avenger Jeanne across the room.

---

"FOU!" an invisible Fou's voice suddenly startled Lev, and then a massive invisible shield rammed against him, knocking him several blocks back...

---

"FOU ON!" Fou shouted, jumping up, turning his whole body into flames, and then blasting down a supernova at Alter Cu, frying him down.

"Oh my God, you've killed Cu-chan! You aren't human! You bastard!" Medb screamed, and thus this story's standard Cu Chulainn Death quotient was fulfilled.

---

"Fuu fuu fouh fouing fuuuu!" Fou proclaimed, armoring himself up with an orange rocky body and leaping onto Goetia, starting to brutally beat a bloody path through his chest...

---

"-- and that's why we really don't use Servants anymore," Ritsuka finished explaining, holding Fou before the new Director.

Gordof's face twitched just a little. "I... I see..."

 

[OverMaster]

Abuse.

"We have come," Koyanskaya said, "to collect all your assets, seize your organization, and, oh yes, execute you, over the--"

Ritsuka interrupted her, standing his ground defiantly. "Over what? Over your goals to annihilate mankind? To succeed where Goetia failed? To--"

"Actually," she said, gesturing aside, "we are here mostly on reports of extreme animal abuse and cruelty."

Ritsuka followed her pointing hand with his gaze, towards the filthy, smelly cages where they kept a stupified, drooling Fou, a badly beaten and softly sobbing Tarasque, a shaken, battle weary Lobo with old wounds all over him, a few tropical island boars, a Tamamo Cat cramped into a small cage twirling a spoon within a steaming pot, and a panda who held his cage's bars while shouting "There's been a mistake! I'm actually a man! And I don't belong here! I'm from Melty Blood...!!"

Ritsuka grumbled, "Okay, fine, but having us executed over that is still a bit..."

 

[OverMaster]

Eyes on the Prize.

"Okay," Ritsuka grimly said. "There's work to be done, no matter the risks. Let's get going."

"Yes," the Artorias said as one, nodding at the same time, and then Saber, Lily, Lancer, Lancer Alter, X, X Alter, Foreigner, Santa and Archer walked out the door.

Saber Alter was the last to exit, but just walked directly against the wall instead.

As she took a moment to wince and rub her face over the black mask covering her eyes, Ritsuka voiced a shy, "Um, you know, maybe it's time you stopped wearing that--"

"I will not hear anything on the subject," Saber Alter proudly said, finally marching out the door and then procceding to trip and fall down the stairs right outside.

 

[OverMaster]

Spiked!

"Come on, Avicebron," Ritsuka said, leading the way out of the room. "There's still a lot to do."

"Yes, Master," the Caster said, following him quickly... only to have the huge golden spikes at each side of his cape clash against the door's frame, pushing him back.

With a murmur of annoyance, Avicebron twisted around to stand left shoulder first against the doorway, and stiffly walked out that way.

---

Gilgamesh grinned widely, entering the Chaldea bar and taking off the jacket he had been wearing over his casual clothes. "Listen, Dog of Uster!" he feistily called over to the now sighing barman. "Get your best liquor ready, I have just started to party tonight! Ah ha ha ha!" he laughed, moving towards the bar after hanging the jacket up.

Twitching slightly on his chair where he'd been sipping on a glass through a straw connected to his mask, Avicebron, Gilgamesh's jacket now hanging from one of his spikes, mumbled a simple, "This is no way to spend an evening..."

---

"Aaaaaahhhh!" Nursery Rhyme laughed, kicking the ball back to Jeanne Alter Lily.

"Wheeeeeeee!" Jeanne Alter Lily giggled, kicking the ball in turn to Jack the Ripper.

"Hohoooooo!" Jack the Ripper said, kicking the ball at Nursery Rhyme...

... only to have it deflating as it landed on one of the spikes of Avicebron, who was passing by.

The male Caster, looked up from the book he had been reading, and at the deflated ball now hanging from him. "What is this?"

The three little Servants stared up with huge watery eyes, then broke into wailing. "MAMAS...! THE EVIL CASTER BLEW OUR BALL UP...!"

One moment later, Avicebron was surrounded from all sides by the irate Raikou, Boudicca, Atalanta, Altera and Blavatsky.

"What did I do?" he managed to ask right before the punishment started.

---

"-- so I just need to know, how do you manage to get by with THOSE?!" Avicebron asked, pointing up at the just as huge and sharp horns on the Assassin's helmet.

"FOOL! Whatever makes you believe it does not happen to me all the time?! It just happens that I simply behead them whenever it does!"

 

[OverMaster]

Animals.

"Mongrel!" Gilgamesh shouted, readying the Gate of Babylon.

"Monkey," Freezer smiled, just shaking a finger around and making Gilgamesh blow up.

Then he grinned, bombastically turned around, and gestured at Zarbon, who procceeded to do a drumroll with a handy set he kept at hand for such occassions.

 

[OverMaster]

My Boy.

He left with little warning, one sunny day, with a sad little smile, a hug, and a promise of returning soon.

He'd write often at first, from several points of the world, allegedly working as a contractor, and over time he'd write less and less.

Every once in a while, Rin would come by on some business or another, and I would ask her about him. She'd always say, "Oh, he's okay, I saw him just last month!" and that would put me at ease.

I only saw him once afterwards, when he dropped by without calling first, and he was huge now, tanned and white haired, and I really couldn't recognize him at all at first. He hugged me, told me fondly "You haven't changed at all, Fuji-nee!" and we spent all day laughing, drinking and reminiscing before he left again. Only when he was gone, I realized how sad he actually had looked the whole time.

The pattern repeated itself after that, in that he'd write a fair lot at first, and then not so much, and finally he didn't write at all.

I once heard he had been executed. Another time, I was told he'd died in a warzone. I heard so many stories, and Rin never confirmed any of them.

We grew old and grey and had families of our own, and that soothed the pain of the loss, somewhat. But I never could forget my little brother, my poor lost Shirou.

My boy.

 

[OverMaster]

Claim Jumping.

"So!" the Gambling King laughed, holding the contract before them. "As you can see, I'm the owner of this Dojo now...!"

"WHAAAAAAT??!" Akane, Soun and Ranma yelled at the same time.

"Um, actually, no," Nabiki pointed out. "Ranma will only come to inherit the Dojo once he has married Akane and Dad has passed away or signed the inheritance off to him. In the meanwhile, the Dojo is still Dad's..."

The King seemed to take this with an air of profund bafflement, and pulled back while humming loudly, stroking his curly beard. At last, he brightened, held a finger up, reached into a sleeve, and threw a razor sharp card towards Soun's throat.

"YIIIIIIIIIIIIIII!" Soun shrieked as, a picosecond later, Ranma clapped the card in the air, stopping it milimeters away from the older man's Adam's Apple.

Ranma clenched his teeth and snarled viciously at King, a thin line of blood trickling from his joined hands.

The gambler huffed petulantly, holding a confused and blinking Akane, suddenly stuffed into bridal attire, by his side. "You obviously aren't understanding how these things are supposed to be working, boy..."

Then, from behind, a long black ribbon wrapped itself around his neck and pulled back, at the same time a Chuí dropped down onto his head and several small sharp spatulas were flung into his back.

 

[OverMaster]

Servants who Never Should be Summoned.

Rider.

In the Eyes of a Ranger, the unsuspecting stranger
Had better know the truth of wrong from right.
'Cause the rule of law and order starts at the Texas border,
With the Lone Star of the Ranger shining bright.

Saber and Lancer stopped their duel when this strange song began sounding out of nowhere and everywhere, looking in the general direction of a man strolling confidently out of the shadows, followed by a meek young man with short black hair. The other man was tall, well muscled and red haired, past his prime years but still standing strong and vital, with a shade of a few days with no shaving, and a slight smile on his lips. He wore blue jeans over a red shirt and long, open yellow coat, and a cowboy hat on his head.

'Cause the Eyes of a Ranger are upon you;
Any wrong you do, he's gonna see.
When you're in Fuyuki, look behind you,
Cause that's where the Ranger's gonna be.

"I'm Servant Rider," the man said, and even the Archer, watching from above, felt a sudden chill running up his spine, under the shiny gold armor.

In the Heart of a Ranger, he'll never know the danger
From desperate men with nothing left to lose.
The Ranger keeps on coming; so there ain't no sense in running,
'Cause he's bound and sure to make you pay your dues.

Since Saber, Lancer and Archer were not insane, they gave up. Since Caster and Berserker were insane, they were spin-kicked in the face. Something happened to Assassin, whatever, who cares. The corrupted Grail was dealt with when Rider ripped his shirt off and manhandled it while easily shrugging the black mud off. When Waver went back to Clock Tower, the other Magi were spin-kicked in the face too just on general principle.

When a Ranger's on your trail, he won't know how to fail
And you can't buy him off at any price.
So if you decide to ramble, and with your life you'd gamble,
Know where you are before you roll the dice.

 

[OverMaster]

The Last Master.

The Greater Grail had been dismantled, and peace had returned to the city at last.

And so, a man with long black hair could finally go up that hill overlooking Fuyuki, crouch down on the grass, and start setting up the candles for the fallen.

He set a candle for the man whose legacy he had inherited, for despite all his many flaws, now he could understand him better.

He set a candle for the doomed puppet of an ancient evil, who died without ever having his love returned.

He set a candle for the demented dog who would flood the streets with the blood of the innocent, for even the worst have to be remembered, lest we fail to learn from their misdeeds.

He set a candle for the proud and rich owner of the land who ended up losing everything.

He set a candle for the broken man of the grand dreams who had brought ruin upon his own family for their sake.

He set a candle for the foolish child twisted by his family's evil.

He set a candle for the obscure man who had failed to achieve anything at all, because of his own hubris and shortsightedness.

He set a candle for the jaded man of the dead eyes who gave everything for his love.

He set a candle for the tiny woman who never could mature because of others' choices.

He set a candle for the one who was backstabbed by that she trusted the most.

He set a candle for the perverse thing that had once been a human being.

He set a candle for the man who never could find solace in anything but that he had been taught to hate.

He set a candle for the young man who burned his life off for an ideal.

He set a candle for the loving girl who kept on waiting to the end for someone who never came back.

He set a candle for the brave young woman who fought along him to bring the nightmare to a definite end, and paid the price for it.

He sat down on the ground and paid his tributes in the necessary silence.

Finally, a younger man with much lighter hair came up the hill, smiling. "Aren't you done yet, Professor?"

He sighed, getting up as the wind blew the candles off. "Yes, I am now. Let's head back, boy. We have finished here."

Waver Velvet and Flat Escardos began the long way home.

 

[OverMaster]

Disappointment.

Peter Parker finished watching the first episode of Goblin Slayer, then turned the television off.

"This wasn't what I was expecting for," he quietly said to himself.

 

[OverMaster]

For your Sake.

"Awwww, you've been so sweet, all day long, to me, Mistah J...!" Harley Quinn sighed, as the two of them made their merry way through the park filled with grinning bodies. "I wish you never took that hat off...!"

Squatting behind the thick bushes by a side of their path, Killer Croc, Poison Ivy, Scarecrow and the Ventriloquist and Scarface all looked down at the Mad Hatter.

"I think," Croc said, "she suspects already."

Hatter sniffed haughtily, keeping his nose upturned and the remote in his hands. "As long as she's still happy, what difference does that make?"

 

[OverMaster]

Assassin and Assassin Go to the Movies!

Cursed Arm Hassan began to laugh as the alien burst from Kane's chest.

Kojiro frowned. "Okay. Next time, we are watching a samurai drama."

 

[OverMaster]

The Secret Origin of Lurch.

"Well, Batman, I have got to hand it to you," District Attorney Janet Van Dorn acknowledged dryly, taking her large round glasses off. "It was thanks to you that we got Mr. Grundy's testimony to put Valestra and Thorne behind bars, at last..."

"Dhhhrrrr..." the pale skinned hulking man in the black suit said.

Van Dorn turned back from the Dark Knight standing at her office to nod at the behemoth. "Yes, of course we will fulfill the terms of our agreement with you. You will be placed under a new identity elsewhere, in a most safe place where nobody will ever think of or dare going after you..."

"Rrrrhhhr..." Grundy nodded, perhaps satisfied.

---

Gomez Addams smiled, taking the cigar out of his mouth and fondly patting the thick arm of the giant in a suit standing by his side, before his family. "Addams, meet Lurch! Our new butler, fresh from Gotham City!"

Wednesday's cold, dead eyes briefly lit up with a shine of fascinated interest. "Gotham..."

"Rrrrrrrr..." Lurch said.

And they lived happily ever after. Sort of.

 

[OverMaster]

Faith.

One day, the Joker simply stopped killing.

He stopped robbing banks.

He stopped escaping Arkham altogether.

Batman couldn't believe it at first, naturally, so he kept a close eye on him whenever he could, busy as he was.

When dragging the latest escapee back to the asylum, he'd pass by the clown's cell, ask, "What are you planning now?" and would always be answered, "Nothiiiiiiiing."

There never was any explanation of why he stopped. But as the months became years, it grew more and more obvious this wouldn't change anytime soon. When Arkham released Joker on good behavior, deeming him cured, Batman knew he'd now strike for sure, but he never did. When, some few added years later, he disappeared without a trace after some time in well watched anonimity and poverty, Batman thought, again, this would be his big reappearance, but, again, nothing happened. Even more years passed, and Bruce Wayne grew too old and tired, and passed the mantle in a peace he never thought would ever arrive. He married and spent his twilight years in relative bliss with his family, watching over the new generation of crimefighters, and the Joker was just a faded memory now.

Until that morning, when he entered his dinning room on old tired legs, and gasped in horror at the collection of grinning corpses that were his loved ones now, stiffly sitting all around the large table, with a feeble, frail, pale old grinning man waving at him with the hand not supported on a cane.

The Joker wheezed happily, letting a shaky greeting out. "Gotchaaaa! You know how humor is! The best of punchlines need a long wait for the surprise delivery!"

Wayne, oddly, even through the horror, even through the disgust, even through the burning hatred hurting his heart, had to ask, had to know. "What..." he gargled, advancing slowly on him, ready for the final act. "What would have you done, if anyone else had killed me first...?"

"Oh, no, no, no, no. I... I knew that wouldn't happen. I always had the utmost faith on you."

And this had been, in return, his apotheosis.

 

[OverMaster]

I Have Issues.

God sat at his computer, and despaired.

"Why do I even do this thing...?" God wondered.

"What have I gained from it?" he asked himself. "Where has it taken me? Has any of this been worth it?"

God looked at his creation, and saw a vast stretch of unfulfilled promises, of half realized dreams, of efforts that had sputtered and flailed into a myriad different paths, all of them just as unsuccessful.

"How many others things," he pondered, "could I have done instead, with this time that will never come back now?"

The gut ache hit God again, for he was old and grew tired and weary now, and he wanted to just rest so much, but rest would only increase his suffering further, for it brought the realization of his many failures to achieve anything.

"I don't know..." he said. "I'm not sure I can keep going anymore..."

Starting over all over again was not even an option anymore, either.

"I'm such a pitiful, disgusting farce for a God..."

Once again, he only could get up from the chair and walk away, melding back into the gray misery where, once again, he was the furthest thing apart from God one could imagine.

Within the realm God had created, Negi, Chisame, and all the others sat and waited, holding hands in silence.

 

[OverMaster]

A Preview of Disney's Live Action Aladdin.

The Genie kept on chatting amiably. "Okay, rule number one: I can't kill anybody!" He then chopped his own head off, picked it up, and attached it back to his neck. "So don't ask! Rule number two! I can't make anybody fall in love with anybody else!" He briefly shapeshifted into a beautiful young woman and leaned coquettishly on Aladdin, only to lightly slap him while giggling. "Oh, you politically incorrect rascal, you! Rule number three! I can't bring people back from the dead..." He said this while briefly changing into a shambling, rotting walking corpse, stiffly moving back and forth across the cave. "It's not a pretty picture. I DON'T LIKE DOING IT!!! Other than that, you got it!" he grinned, changing back to normal and snapping his fingers.

"Okay, then..." Aladdin rubbed his chin thoughtfully. "I know! Can you make a talented actor out of Jaden Smith?"

The Genie lost his wide smile and, as a matter of fact, began to frown very, very deeply. "... no. No, I can't do that either," he said in a gruff growl.

 

[OverMaster]

Isekai.

The black haired, short, slim young man smiled to himself, then threw a fist up into the air.

"Yatta!" he shouted. "I've just been transported to a mystical RPG fantasy world! Now not only I'll never see my bothersome parents again, but I'll use my superior modern knowledge to impress everyone, gather a harem, and make myself a king! Nippon Banzai!" he giggled to himself, drawing blank stares from the passerbys, who could not understand a single word of what he was saying.

By the same time the next day, his bones, picked clean, were scattered across the side of that very same road.

 

[OverMaster]

Kicked to the Side.

Enkidu, Little John, Robin, Iolaus, Tonto, Launchpad, Krillin, Inugami Kotaro, Doctor Watson, Baba Looey, Bucky, Morocco Mole and the Green Hornet all sat in a bar, drinking in a miserable silence.

Finally, the Green Hornet lifted his gaze from his glass and glanced through the window, towards the much bigger bar next door. "You know," he drawled, "I should be th' one there right now, not him...!"

 

[OverMaster]

That Guy...

Eel O' Brien and Ralph Dibny were, all in all, two of the nicest guys you could find in the superhero business, even if O' Brien often could come off as overbearingly clownish and loud. Regardless, they had two of the biggest hearts in the superhero community, and that was before they started stretching them. However, they hated each other.

There was no helping it. For O' Brien, Dibny was a dull, stick in the mud bore of a man always craving for attention by showing off how smart he was. Also, weak. For Dibny, O' Brien was an obnoxious, unbearable jerk always craving for attention by showing off how irreverent and sarcastic he was (much like Deadpool, at that.) Also, a moron.

There was one thing that never failed to bring them together, though.

"Man. That Reed Richards, he's such a butthole..."

"Yeah. Yeah, he sure is..."

They liked Grimm, however, but then again, everyone in the business loved Grimm...

 

[OverMaster]

Tales of the Unequally Sailor Senshi.

---

Friends.

Sailor Moon's eyes widened, and she whipped her head aside to look, appalled, at Sailor Uranus and Neptune. "I knew it! Leading us here... you meant to set a trap for us the whole time!"

They had been brought into some sort of secret watering hole for the worst of the worst of the international supervillain community, a huge, seedy bar filled with all sorts of unsavory types, most of them in stupidly ridiculous outfits but gazing at the Sailor Senshi with inhuman, venom filled eyes that made them look anything but silly.

As Mars, Venus and Jupiter readied themselves to fight the assembled super criminals gathered all around them, an undaunted Sailor Uranus stepped ahead, cleared her throat, and loudly said, "Now listen, everyone! We brought these gals here, so you could... see they're with us now! We're buddies, see?!" Saying this, she violently wrapped an arm around Akira and pulled her tightly against herself, grinning from ear to ear while Sailor Mercury blushed. "We're best pals, partners in... well, not crime, but what we do when we ain't pulling crimes! Novias! They're going to stick to fighting magical fairy and demon-type threats from beyond that would screw us all, we don't go after no costumed brothers or sisters, so we want you to keep them apart from the usual sets of supersap grudges, alright!? Am I right or what, Red?!" she turned her grin to Ivy now.

Sailor Neptune rolled her eyes back. "Whatever. What Harley says, guys..."

The assembled supervillains stared on for several tense, silent moments, before King Shark threw a muscular arm up, claw balled into a fist. "WELCOME, HARLEY'S FRIENDS!" he roared.

"WELCOME, HARLEY'S FRIENDS...!" was the ensuing echo of dozens of sinister thunderous voices.

Usagi, Minako, Shiho, Mayu and Hotaru only could blink dazedly while Ritsuko facepalmed and muttered under her breath.

---

"-- and they just let you go like that?!" a bewildered Ako asked as Yuuna and Makie gasped.

"Well, not exactly, they threw us a party first," Akira explained. "Most of them actually were quite nice, sort of. Captain Boomerang tried to flirt with me, but Captain Cold was a gentleman and kept him away. He even told me I reminded him of his sister."

"I think I understand now why Quinn's the only henchperson the Joker's never killed," Shiho groaned. "He must know the day he does it, that's the day they hang his body in that stinking bar..."

 

[chiufan95]

Who's Mayu? I recognize the others.

 

[OverMaster]

Miyuki Mayu is a regular supporting character in the ani-manga romance series, Ai Yori Aoshi.

Mayu enjoys the finer things her wealth buys her, no questions asked. But very often, the absence or inattention of her parents cause her great pain, especially as a small child. When her parents would attend functions on the Hanabishi estate, Mayu would come along, and there she was befriended by the Hanabishi heir, Hanabishi Kaoru, who went out of his way to make Mayu laugh. Since Kaoru was a few years her senior, Mayu saw him as a much older man and fell in love with him, and was somewhat saddened when her parents moved overseas and they had to part. Intelligence-wise, Mayu proved to be a prodigy and moved through school quickly.

Years later, while attending a university that she considered beneath her, Mayu had the pleasant surprise of spotting Kaoru, with whom she immediately began to strike up their old friendship, while almost deliberately snubbing his friends Tina Foster and Minazuki Taeko. Unlike the other would-be suitors to Kaoru, Mayu does not move into the cottage he uses while keeping secret his relationship with Sakuruba Aoi, presumed to be his landlady. Mayu did not snub Aoi, finding her charming and well-mannered. Oddly though, despite her emphasis on the highly-placed status of her family and the Hanabishis, she never seemed to recognize Aoi as belonging to the wealthy Sakurubas.

Mayu is at her core an incredibly lonely child. Kaoru is one of her only friends in the world (that she will admit to having, anyway) with even her chaperone Saionji Ruka not as close to her as she would like. Her attachment to Kaoru is one born as much out of a need for friendship as any professed love. But her methods of expressing this affection often cause him as much discomfort as anything Tina does, despite the two being professed arch-enemies (this is made out to be more of a fighting friendship later on). Her teenage-level sweeping statements about the destined nature of her union with Kaoru can cause Aoi pain, though much of this arises from her own doubts. Mayu is over almost as frequently as any resident, an invitation she tends to extend to herself. One of her true colors is revealed when Tina leaves Japan to go home to America, and she and Mayu have the hardest time parting, their feud masking a grudging fondness.

Click to shrink...

 

[OverMaster]

Exes.

"Ah! It's you!" Harley gasped loudly, whipping her head back from the Bank executive she had been harassing wackily and towards the large hole just blown up in the bank's wall, and the gang entering through it.

"Oh. It's you," the Joker deadpanned.

"I knew it!" Harley pointed at him. "You're here to pull me back to you, aren't you?! Because you chauvinistic patriarchal pig are always out to mark me as your property, but it won't work because now I'm an empowered anti-heroine who is a badass in her own right and has a best selling book with spinoffs and everything and also stars in the Suicide Squad as if I were Wolverine in the nineties and I'm so tough now I'm going to punch you and kick you in the balls! Again!"

"Uh, actually, I'm here just to rob the bank," the Joker dryly said, casually shooting the bank executive through the head while his men blew the safes up.

Harley kept rambling on, undeterred. "Yeah, that's what your filthy lies would like to make me believe, but I know better because I'm wise to you and that's why I don't need you anymore and just so you know since I left you I have my own quirky and highly diverse supporting cast and my own Coney Island empire and I slept with Nightwing and Ivy and Lobo and Deadshot and I have this wonderful new boyfriend named Red Tool who is so like this much more successful than you snappy jokey killer and I'll kick you in the balls now, again..."

"I'm just going to rob the damn bank," Joker sighed, pulling money into a large bag as his men readied the escape truck.

"Well, I wasn't going to, I was just going to open an account with all the honest money I've earned from my successful movies and upcoming animated series where I'll kick you in the balls because I don't need you anymore, and I was just having a very fine routine comedy with this gentleman that was much more hilarious than anything you ever could pull off, and I'm not a villain anymore no matter how much I hang out with other villains with more balls to kick than you and I'm a real anti-heroine with real cred and I even could join the Justice League if I wanted to and I take rides in the Batmobile all the time and--"

"You haven't stopped us from just killing everyone in the bank," Joker blandly pointed out, getting behind the truck's driving wheel and tightening his seatbelt.

"Shut up! Don't lecture me on how to do my badass anti-heroine job, you manipulative fiend I'm through with! I've got to lecture you first! And then I'll kick you in the balls and--- Wait, where are you going?! I haven't kicked you in the balls-- again-- yet!"

The Joker rolled his eyes. "Harley. Get over it already," he adviced, and then drove away.

Harley huffed indignantly. "Well, that showed him up!" she told all the gassed, grinning dead bodies all across the bank. "He's terrified of me now, see?!"

There was a beat.

"Still, I think I'll choose another bank. No offense, but this one has awful security..."

 

[OverMaster]

Sweet Mercy.

"Don't worry, Luthor!" Superman said, holding the Phantom Zone projector before his defeated foe. "I won't kill you! To spare your tormented soul from Hell, I'll just send you to a horrible unescapable dimension of constant suffering surrounded by other screaming damned!"

Luthor frowned at him.

Superman sighed. "Okay, okay, fine, have it your way then," he said, and snapped Luthor's neck.