[RWBY] RWBY Shorts

[SharkCultist]

Now I want to see Penny get offended when someone calls a Roomba a clanker.

Click to shrink...

Make it Blake. Because I want to see her reaction when Penny says

"I didn't know you were a racist!"

 

[cavalal386]

Now I want to see Penny get offended when someone calls a Roomba a clanker.

Click to shrink...

because of the slur or because it's her word?


... sorry it's been an odd day.

 

[mgl1206]

because of the slur or because it's her word?


... sorry it's been an odd day.

Click to shrink...

Clanker is a "slur" used most often in the context of Star Wars from the tv show "The Clone Wars". They're used to reference the droid army of the separatists in a deragotory manner that is pg for children.

 

[SharkCultist]

Just had a weird but funny idea.

The group (outside of Ren) find out that Nora actually has a bunch of hammers.

Magnhild is of course for huntress stuff.

But she's got hammers for everything from smashing watermelon to fixing a wobbly table.

But the reason the teams find out about the excess hammers is because a girl is flirting with Ren so Nora reaches into her hammer storage and pulls out a beast of a hammer.

Covered in rust, what appears to be lemon juice, barbed wire, and lightning dust the teams are introduced to the Protect Ren from Hoes Hammer. Also known as Bitch Breaker.

 

[Ardrianian]

First, it's telling that one must be well versed in multiple Fandoms to even know the memes and then make a coherent argument about a character using those memes.
Secondly, Nora needs to have a manicial grin frothing at the mouth when she pulls Bitch Breaker out. (Lovingly known as BB in Nora's mind)

 

[AndrewJTalon]

Dragonslayer Week really wiped me out. Hell, I have another half dozen fics I just didn't get done in time for it! And another half dozen that are but are still on my Patreon. So I'm just chilling.

I did have a silly idea. Jaune has a passion for gory horror movies. Being a farmboy, he's seen way worse slaughtering pigs and cows and chickens, so he's basically immune to such movies. Nora, Ren and Ruby have similar non-issues when it comes to gore in movies for various reasons. Blake, Yang,Pyrrha and Weiss are all wusses when it comes to horror movies. So you see how things go on movie night when there's some extra gory horror films.

 

[SharkCultist]

Dragonslayer Week really wiped me out. Hell, I have another half dozen fics I just didn't get done in time for it! And another half dozen that are but are still on my Patreon. So I'm just chilling.

I did have a silly idea. Jaune has a passion for gory horror movies. Being a farmboy, he's seen way worse slaughtering pigs and cows and chickens, so he's basically immune to such movies. Nora, Ren and Ruby have similar non-issues when it comes to gore in movies for various reasons. Blake, Yang,Pyrrha and Weiss are all wusses when it comes to horror movies. So you see how things go on movie night when there's some extra gory horror films.

Click to shrink...

*Jaune sees a horror movie about a murderous hillbilly on a farm killing huntresses. He's visibly annoyed.*

Jaune:....so this is what it's like to be Blake. Not a fan.

*Blake, Yang, and Weiss remember he's a farm boy and scream bloody murder. Pyrrha fainted half a hour ago*

 

[CountvonBarnOwl]

Dragonslayer Week really wiped me out. Hell, I have another half dozen fics I just didn't get done in time for it! And another half dozen that are but are still on my Patreon. So I'm just chilling.

I did have a silly idea. Jaune has a passion for gory horror movies. Being a farmboy, he's seen way worse slaughtering pigs and cows and chickens, so he's basically immune to such movies. Nora, Ren and Ruby have similar non-issues when it comes to gore in movies for various reasons. Blake, Yang,Pyrrha and Weiss are all wusses when it comes to horror movies. So you see how things go on movie night when there's some extra gory horror films.

Click to shrink...

My brain immediately went to "alright, now which one is gonna mistake the found footage splatter film for real and have a freakout when none of her friends call the police? Especially since all of her friends will be too surprised by her conclusion to tell her otherwise."

*Jaune sees a horror movie about a murderous hillbilly on a farm killing huntresses. He's visibly annoyed.*

Jaune:....so this is what it's like to be Blake. Not a fan.

*Blake, Yang, and Weiss remember he's a farm boy and scream bloody murder. Pyrrha fainted half a hour ago*

Click to shrink...

And the second place my brain went was to have Jaune express his disgust - cut to Jaune having a Gunnar Hansen style chainsaw tantrum - right as a couple of plainclothes White Fang spies, or maybe even Ilya, get eyes on the guy that Adam and Cinder told them to be in the lookout for and to track. Jaune twigs to their presence and the idea of having someone to talk to improves his mood. Unfortunately, his body is still stuck in the incandescent. And the spies see this smiling, eye and lip twitching, man with a chainsaw in a white-knuckle grip casually trotting towards them, seemingly oblivious to the way he keeps revving the weapon. (Jaune wants to wave but every time he tries to let go of the trigger his hand slips slightly before locking back into place and revving the chainsaw again).

 

[Gur40]

Penny and Ruby

Spoiler: Nuts and Dolts

Ruby decks Blake if she even thinks the repeat racist calls Penny a Clanker

---

Jaune gets stereotyped for being a farm boy and wine raised past noble by the movies Blake brings to Team hangout night

And calls Neon a fake cat girl as well as demean Velvet as submissive for being a Bunny Faunus [Cardin broken hip would dissagree]

Does she insult Sage Flynt and Emerald? Like in step-sibling war were she assume Arslan would wear either harem clothes or gyaru

 

[zMADLAXz]

If you really really want a Power Fantasy in RWBY, Ren is the best choice to self insert.

Assuming you self insert into him at the start of series, you have a lot of advantages.

Why is that now you may ask? Well settle down and let Big bro tell you why.

1) As soon as you insert into him you have the best possible hand to hand arsenal someone could ask for.

• You have one of the best Aura Manipulation capabilities in the world
• Your semblance allows you to escape grimm handily if for the rare chance you can't fight them
• Amazing hand to hand and weapons skills together something that we see rarely in the series.

2) You have Nora who is always a plus to have in life. Whether platonically or romantically, if I Man up and say I want a single waifu then it is Nora.

• She is Strong.
• She is beautiful.
• you won't face the typical downsides of dating any of the other female characters(excpet for Pyrrha)

Now the rest of the points are assuming two things: You are cunning and you are a little patient. And buckle up because I am fully embracing my inner chinese noble who would handle the decisions of the court of the emperor from the shadows.

The Ideal scenario would be to still let Jaune be the team leader so you can do your own thing without much scrutiny whenever you need to execute any of your schemes that you come up with by leveraging your meta knowledge.

3) You have an incredibly potential rich team leader who is also naïve as fuck whihc means that within reason you can direct him towards his super op semblance early which you get to reap the benefits of.

So explaining it like I am a complete bastard- You get your own personal heal slut that can also buff you just as easily(this is me assuming that the SI Ren is an absolute bastard that they would see Jaune this way).

Because a good schemer understands that the more desperate your pawn and the more capable you make'em? The more Loyal and useful they are.

Not only that you are on the team with the strongest person in the entire student body. You are never unsafe.

Through some creativity you can bag Pyrrha if you want to(the eventual clash between her and Nora is gonna be bloody so you might have to choose between them), or you can again train Jaune as her handler for you by subtly directing him towards her and how he needs to act.

The best thing is, he is gullible and stupid enough that if you point out Pyrrha's self destructive mindset early enough you can use that as a wrench to turn her even more loyal towards the team and chose life over stupid Noble Sacrifice.

Heck you also score a Maiden on your team if you a) Train Jaune propoerly so that Pyrrha has higher chances of Survival and b) make him realise that Weiss is absolutely shallow and not worth it by subtly comparing her with Nora and Pyrrha during random talks and pointing out in minute ways how she is lacking as a potential girlfriend.

You can also score another Maiden by killing Raven.

Ok so this one is from the left field a bit but let me cook here.

If you manage to save Beacon then you can still direct the team a little towards Haven by using your childhood as an excuse to visit Kurogiri.

There, instead of being all passive and everything you actively look out for Salem's agents as they come for the Relic. There you maintain constant vigilance around Raven's camp.

You convince the team that killing Raven and the rest of them is the best thing because the Vault for the relic can only be opened by the Spring Maiden. The team believes you because you have been a good teammate and somebody who's opinion everyone looks for.

By leveraging some portion of Maiden power that Pyrrha got(possibly at least of it since Jaune could constantly use his semblance to buff her during the transfer which could make the transfer smoother), your own vastly improved team and your own meta knowledge of Raven's abilities.

As Raven is dying you mention Nora's name and voila! Her last thought is of Nora and hence she becomes the new Spring Maiden.

Now congratulations you sociopathic schemer you, you have successfully attained two maidens and an op white mage that also buffs you and acts as another combatant as part of your loyal minions.

Then if you use this strategy here that I mentioned in the temporal step sibling war

Spoiler: Easy solution to the V8 problem

Honestly the whole problem of V8 is stupid, Atlas has the best Technology and if they really used the staff of creation then using the brilliant scientists of Atlas with advanced computers to run simulations, they could have drafted the plans to make Mantle and Atas as veritable fortresses with all the infrastructure they would need to not only make it into an a heavily defended place and provide all the necessities of the people.

Seriously the one drawback of that staff is that you need to have a clear picture to what you wish to create which could easily be solved by the above proposed method.

Fix the infrastructure for both Mantle and Atlas and the only thing they need to do is use their advanced German Atlas technology and make plans.

Click to shrink...

Congratulations, you have won RWBY. Now your next objective is to survive coitus with Nora.

I can only recommend copious amount of fluids, Good amount of buffs from Jaune, hopes and prayers.

Godspeed soldier.

 

[zMADLAXz]

So I finally caved and watched the hbomberguy's video on RWBY and since I had never watched Cowboy Bebop I was blown away.

The reason Zwei is a Corgi and is even named Zwei is because Cowboy Bebop had a corgi named Ein?!

They used German number names and I was thinking that RWBY had done something great.

TBH now that I watched this video I really don't understand why people shit on people who have watched this video and form opinions based on it.

I have watched the show and this guy is making good points. Though I might disagree on some points he told about the exposition but when he reminded that it took 5 seasons to finalise a name for the magic system of RWBY I realised that his criticism is pretty justified.

 

[Rakdos92]

Now I want to see Penny get offended when someone calls a Roomba a clanker.

Click to shrink...

Naw, she's the one to call the roomba a clanker.

 

[AndrewJTalon]

RWBY and JNPR were walking through the courtyard, excitedly talking.

Weiss: "We need to maximize our training for Vytal! I won't settle for anything less than the finals!"

Yang: "Hey! I wanna win this thing too, Weiss-cream, but I think semi-finals is best we're gonna do with Pyrrha and Penny involved. They are crazy strong."

Ruby: "Yeah! I've been running the numbers and geez!"

Jaune: "Well now, don't count yourselves out just yet, ladies. After all, Pyrrha might not be up to it."

Pyrrha: gasp "Jaune!"

Jaune: grins and winks "Why, she might catch cold day of and only make it to the semis."

Pyrrha: pouts as the other girls giggle "That's not very funny, Jaune!" She's blushing brightly

Yang: "Still, least Stud can tease. You wanna try that with me, Cowboy~?"

Weiss: "YANG!"

Jaune: "Now that's a game I don't plan on getting in. Nobody wins."

Yang: "Or we both could~."

Weiss: "YANG!" She groans as there is a musical note in the background... And she then trips. "AH!"

She slams facefirst into the pavement. Yang is the first to pull her up.

A lower key variation of one of Weiss's songs is played nearby on a trumpet. Weiss frowns as she turns. A dark young man in Atlasian dress plays, and smirks at her over his trumpet. He lowers it.

Flynt Coal: "Sorry bout that. But it was worth it to see Miss High and Mighty faceplant."

Ruby: "HEY! You can't use weapons on other students outside of Combat Class!"

Flynt: "Who? Me? That was an accident."

Ren: "It was not."

Flynt: "Well, call it a small bit of payback for what her family did to mine. Flynt Coal."

Blake: "... Of Coal Dust Distribution?"

Flynt: "My father. Her father put mine out of business."

Ruby: "SO!? That was her father, not her!"

Flynt: "A Schnee's a Schnee."

Yang: growls "That's no excuse! I'm going to break your smug face-!"

Pyrrha holds Yang back. Yang growls. She looks around for support. She sees Jaune stepping forward, eyes narrowed.

Jaune: tightly "Mister Coal. I believe you owe this lady an apology."

Flynt: scoffing laugh "What? Like hell I do!"

Jaune: "Where I come from, Mister Coal, a man hits a woman he doesn't get to keep his teeth. However, I am trying to adhere to the rules of this institution. So once again, you owe her an apology."

Flynt: "Ah. Heard about you. Arc, wasn't it? I heard you've killed men."

Jaune: "That's right. I have."

Flynt: "You think you're tough, do you?"

Jaune: "Tough enough for you."

Ruby: "H-Hey! Let's chill out! Hang on... How about this? If Jaune beats you in a contest that doesn't involve violence, will you apologize to Weiss?"

Flynt: "Hmph... All right, pipsqueak. But I pick the contest. Music." smirks

Jaune: "Fine. We'll need a neutral judge."

Flynt: "Suits me fine!"

Jaune got his guitar. Flynt prepared his trumpet. Ruby brought in Glynda Goodwitch.

Glynda: "Well... I would be happy to judge this."

Flynt: "Sounds good, Professor."

Jaune: "Yes ma'am."

Glynda: "Begin!"

Flynt plays a sweet jazz piece that even Weiss could admit was very nice. It attracts a crowd that enjoy it. Flynt finishes with a flourish, and gets some applause. He smirked at Jaune.

Flynt: "Go ahead, redneck."

Glynda: "Mister Coal! Kindly keep yourself in check."

Flynt: "Yes ma'am."

Jaune then plays a song, and begins to sing.

Jaune:
I am a man of constant sorrow
I've seen trouble all my days
I bid farewell to ol' Hentucky
The place where I was born and raised~!"

He pours a great deal of passion and even pathos. And soon attracts a crowd that begins to clap and dance along. Jaune finishes with his own flourish, and is greeted by cheers.

Glynda: "Well... If it comes to technique, then Mister Coal has won. When it comes to passion, I believe it would be down to Mister Arc. I believe you two should resolve this yourselves."

Flynt: "..." sighs "Not bad, cowboy." He smiles in respect to Jaune

Jaune: Modest as ever. "Me? Nah. Just an amateur. You have a lot of talent."

Flynt: "..." Looks over at Weiss "Look, I'm sorry. That wasn't cool."

Weiss: glares "..." Ruby elbows her "... Thank you."

Flynt: "I thought he was singing just to simp for you... But the music carries the true heart of the musician. So... Thank you. Maybe we could jam together. You as well, Schnee-"

Jaune: clears his throat. Nora and Yang both punch their palms.

Flynt: "... Miss Schnee."

Weiss: "... It would be nice. It's been a while since I got to make any music."

Flynt: "I will admit, I have never listened to any of your songs... Out of spite. Maybe I should change that."

Weiss: "I... I would appreciate that. Though I will admit, the words were... Not mine. Or not as much mine as I would wish."

Flynt: "Well hell, we could come up with something, right Cowboy?"

Jaune: "I wouldn't mind it, Mister Coal."

Flynt: "Heh! Call me Flynt!"

Jaune: smiles "Thank you, Flynt. Call me Jaune. Please ladies, friends? If you'll excuse me?"

Jaune and Flynt headed off with Weiss. Yang, Pyrrha, and Ruby scowled after them.

Pyrrha: "I've sung with him... Why didn't they invite me...?"

Yang: "I can sing too ya know!"

Ruby: "I can make noise!"

Nora: "Come on guys! What's suggestive about Jaune-Jaune, Weissy, and Flynty going off to make beautiful music together?"

Ren sighs. Blake is already writing a new fanfic.

 

[ThunderBasilisk]

Now I wanna see Jaune play the Devil went down to Georgia

 

[Sir Borks-a-Lot]

Now I wanna see Jaune play the Devil went down to Georgia

Click to shrink...

You mean Salem went down to Ansel?

 

[SharkCultist]

You mean Salem went down to Ansel?

Click to shrink...

I remember reading something that had someone ask the devil about that story.

And the devil said the guys challenge was that "he could beat the devil with any instrument." So the devil gave him a solid gold fiddle to play.


And the guy beat the shit out of the devil with it and ran off. Devil let him go because of the sheer balls and technically because he did exactly what he said.

 

[CountvonBarnOwl]

If you really really want a Power Fantasy in RWBY, Ren is the best choice to self insert.

Assuming you self insert into him at the start of series, you have a lot of advantages.

Why is that now you may ask? Well settle down and let Big bro tell you why.

1) As soon as you insert into him you have the best possible hand to hand arsenal someone could ask for.

• You have one of the best Aura Manipulation capabilities in the world
• Your semblance allows you to escape grimm handily if for the rare chance you can't fight them
• Amazing hand to hand and weapons skills together something that we see rarely in the series.

2) You have Nora who is always a plus to have in life. Whether platonically or romantically, if I Man up and say I want a single waifu then it is Nora.

• She is Strong.
• She is beautiful.
• you won't face the typical downsides of dating any of the other female characters(excpet for Pyrrha)

Now the rest of the points are assuming two things: You are cunning and you are a little patient. And buckle up because I am fully embracing my inner chinese noble who would handle the decisions of the court of the emperor from the shadows.

The Ideal scenario would be to still let Jaune be the team leader so you can do your own thing without much scrutiny whenever you need to execute any of your schemes that you come up with by leveraging your meta knowledge.

3) You have an incredibly potential rich team leader who is also naïve as fuck whihc means that within reason you can direct him towards his super op semblance early which you get to reap the benefits of.

So explaining it like I am a complete bastard- You get your own personal heal slut that can also buff you just as easily(this is me assuming that the SI Ren is an absolute bastard that they would see Jaune this way).

Because a good schemer understands that the more desperate your pawn and the more capable you make'em? The more Loyal and useful they are.

Not only that you are on the team with the strongest person in the entire student body. You are never unsafe.

Through some creativity you can bag Pyrrha if you want to(the eventual clash between her and Nora is gonna be bloody so you might have to choose between them), or you can again train Jaune as her handler for you by subtly directing him towards her and how he needs to act.

The best thing is, he is gullible and stupid enough that if you point out Pyrrha's self destructive mindset early enough you can use that as a wrench to turn her even more loyal towards the team and chose life over stupid Noble Sacrifice.

Heck you also score a Maiden on your team if you a) Train Jaune propoerly so that Pyrrha has higher chances of Survival and b) make him realise that Weiss is absolutely shallow and not worth it by subtly comparing her with Nora and Pyrrha during random talks and pointing out in minute ways how she is lacking as a potential girlfriend.

You can also score another Maiden by killing Raven.

Ok so this one is from the left field a bit but let me cook here.

If you manage to save Beacon then you can still direct the team a little towards Haven by using your childhood as an excuse to visit Kurogiri.

There, instead of being all passive and everything you actively look out for Salem's agents as they come for the Relic. There you maintain constant vigilance around Raven's camp.

You convince the team that killing Raven and the rest of them is the best thing because the Vault for the relic can only be opened by the Spring Maiden. The team believes you because you have been a good teammate and somebody who's opinion everyone looks for.

By leveraging some portion of Maiden power that Pyrrha got(possibly at least of it since Jaune could constantly use his semblance to buff her during the transfer which could make the transfer smoother), your own vastly improved team and your own meta knowledge of Raven's abilities.

As Raven is dying you mention Nora's name and voila! Her last thought is of Nora and hence she becomes the new Spring Maiden.

Now congratulations you sociopathic schemer you, you have successfully attained two maidens and an op white mage that also buffs you and acts as another combatant as part of your loyal minions.

Then if you use this strategy here that I mentioned in the temporal step sibling war


Congratulations, you have won RWBY. Now your next objective is to survive coitus with Nora.

I can only recommend copious amount of fluids, Good amount of buffs from Jaune, hopes and prayers.

Godspeed soldier.

Click to shrink...

This reminds me of my own self-insert idea (or rather... Transmigrator I guess... That's what it's called when the person or people aren't you or anyone based on you right? - Seriously, I don't know.).

Dredged up from his whiskey cellar (Count generally is not a fan of wine) is What The Caterwauling Hell?! Four friends, being: a guy who spends way too much money on War Thunder, a guy who is way too easily influenced by media and bases his entire personality on the last show he watched/book he read, a small-medium time Vtuber/professionally degenerate e-thot with a gacha game addiction and obsession with the size of her own knockers, and a quiet mild-mannered fellow who I have admittedly not fleshed out too much, but he generally seems to do the most profusely disturbing and unhinged shit without any more than the occasional wry smile, find themselves on Remnant after getting intimately acquainted with Truck-kun's front bumper.

Of course, if you paid attention to the title, you probably already guessed who they end up reincarnating as. Which is diddly-damn fine by them considering their dissatisfaction with... certain seasons & elements of the show and the apocalyptic consequences that it can now lead to. In short, they're mad and Remnant's gonna pay for it.

Watts went from just having bought a virtual E-100 that cost roughly as much as a real car to not only having his funding cut and his project getting canned, by the Atlesian higher ups, but having the size of his genitalia directly insulted by Ironwood (this exists purely in his own head, but if you all probably know enough about how my mind puts things together to believe me when I say that somebody could conceivably look at Due Process and take it as an insult about their reproductive viability) - Contrary to popular belief Count does not actually dislike Ironwood. Count likes Ironwood and finds him a sympathetic character, he just thinks Ironwood is dumb or at least guileless and incompetent.

But this leads to Watts signing up with Salem and swearing to Operation: British Atlas into Vale - he calls it Operation: Vytal. "The Vytal Festival is all about uniting the Kingdoms, your Majesty, and I am going to bring Atlas and Vale very close together... Unfortunately, no matter how I do the math Operation: Vytal in, its present configuration, can only generate between 1/322 and 1/23 the impact energy to guarantee complete extinction of all life on Remnant, except for yourself of course."

Salem (who is internally screaming at the idea of being that kind of alone again): "That's actually better for me Arthur... I want Ozma to see his failure... And there it is again, seriously, why do you four keep staring at me wide-eyed and muttering 'Sasuga' every time I say something."

As you can see this fic basically follows the Overlord premise, kind of, with Salem trying to be herself, failing, and having to put up with four minions who far outstrip her in terms of villainy (it helps that the don't consider anyone on Remnant to be real people - play it for horror or play it for comedy Count is unsure).

The only joke I had thought of for Tyrian by this point is that he had been playing a lot of Warhammer Fantasy/Vermintide. I just imagine his first encounter with Team RNJR and the drunk uncle "By Salem, you've posted CRINGE! Prepare to be judged." Just after Qrow explains Ozpin's secret war. And there goes any shred of seriousness or legitimacy that he could impress upon them.

Cinder's rivalry with Watts seems mostly to revolve around their spending habits, but I do have it that they would actually be a very productive team (Watts recruits Cinder earlier on when he's staying at the Glass Unicorn - he's back in Atlas again a few years after faking his own death to get a read on their security updates. He spots Cinder and realizes that she'd make a useful puppet (if handled correctly - this is before he realizes that she also got isekai'd). So he kills her stepmother & sisters and leaves her to inherit the Glass Unicorn. Cinder goes through Atlas Academy and briefly lives as a Huntress before becoming a prolific Hotel & Casino mogul (a very useful cover for her operations and tracking down Maidens). A complete degenerate, and also the one with the most broken synergies in her abilities, if Watts is the Demiurge, she's the Shalltear of the bunch.

Hazel I haven't fleshed out too much beyond reworking his Semblance so any Dust he injects himself with makes him more like a Logia user.

And, of course, I imagine Watts and Tyrian rigging up a sound system somewhere to play literal Overlord soundtracks when Salem makes her debut, and subsequently cranking the volume and blowing her ears out.

 

[zMADLAXz]

-snip-

Click to shrink...

A good inspired Idea count. I am not really fan of the Salem faction except for Arthur himself but a transmigration that considers the live people of Remnant as NPCs in their own playground is quite reminiscent of early Subaru from Re:Zero.

On a sidenote, does your name happen to be a reference to something or perhaps your own preference towards the wise owl?