[RWBY] RWBY Shorts

[CILinkz]

thanks for the chapter but please dont make it into a habit to start writing in this kinda style, its bad form. and bad habits are hard to break if you get into them.

i mean this one where you just write the name of whoever talks like that:

Jaune: stuff
Yang: tells more stuff
Person C: blabla

i know this is just a funny short so it doesnt mean as much but it is precisely there that bad habits form, where you just unconciously write down your thoughts.

 

[IvanR1314]

thanks for the chapter but please dont make it into a habit to start writing in this kinda style, its bad form. and bad habits are hard to break if you get into them.

i mean this one where you just write the name of whoever talks like that:

Jaune: stuff
Yang: tells more stuff
Person C: blabla

i know this is just a funny short so it doesnt mean as much but it is precisely there that bad habits form, where you just unconciously write down your thoughts.

Click to shrink...

I mean, script style writing can work as well. We all prefer the "I am saying a thing" said Ivan, "saying more things" sort of approach to dialogue, yes?

 

[IvanR1314]

Would you consider writing a Jaune "whole Team" Arc with him being the only guy in the team sort of shorts?

 

[AndrewJTalon]

thanks for the chapter but please dont make it into a habit to start writing in this kinda style, its bad form. and bad habits are hard to break if you get into them.

i mean this one where you just write the name of whoever talks like that:

Jaune: stuff
Yang: tells more stuff
Person C: blabla

i know this is just a funny short so it doesnt mean as much but it is precisely there that bad habits form, where you just unconciously write down your thoughts.

Click to shrink...

I write in script format for rough drafts, to get the dialogue out and figure out the "skeleton" of the story. I then write it up into actual prose after. Since this is for shorts and random ideas, I'm posting roughs to see if there would be interest in me doing some of these ideas as full on chapters, and getting general feedback. As for bad habits? Well, I've been doing this for twenty years and it seems to work okay. ;p

For instance! Here is another silly idea rough:

Our heroes are working in the weapons maintenance class. Jaune is working with Ruby to reforge Crocea Mors.

Ruby: "Don't worry, Jaune! I'll make your sword even better than before!"

Jaune: "Thanks Ruby, I don't want my family weapon to just fall apart."

Ruby: "It's not that bad, but it could use some tender loving care! Don't you, baby?"

Jaune: "Uh... Yeah."

Ruby: "Ooh! And I can add a gun to it!"

Jaune: "Er... No."

Ruby: "What? Come on! What's wrong with a gun? It'll be a big help-!"

Jaune: "I know Ruby, but uh... It's an Arc Family thing. See, whenever we get a gun? We... Change."

Ruby: "Change? Change how?"

Jaune: "Uh, forget it! I shouldn't have said anything! Just-No guns, okay?"

Ruby: looking suspicious "Hmmm..." Brightens "Okay!"

Jaune: sighs in relief

Later... When Jaune isn't looking... Ruby gets a Winchester Arms 45 pistol, and sneaks it with her when Teams RWBY and JNPR go on a training mission into the Emerald Forest.

She waits... She waits... She waits... Gets bored, eats cookies... Waits... But then...!

Jaune: "GRIMM INBOUND!"

They fight a pack of Beowulves. Jaune is doing pretty well... But a lucky strike from an Ursa knocks his sword out of his hands.

Jaune: "Shit-!"

Ruby: "JAUNE! CATCH!"

She throws the gun. She also gets Crescent Rose into sniper mode, to shoot and defend Jaune in case whatever happens is dangerous to him.

He catches the gun without thinking, and... A change comes over his. His eyes harden, then widen. He shoots the Ursa in the limbs, then blows it's head off with expert marksmanship.

Jaune: "THAT'S WHAT YOU GET, MOTHERFUCKER!"

The other teams kind of... Pause, as Jaune rampages with the pistol: Blasting apart Grimm while cursing.

Jaune: "YEAH MOTHERFUCKER! THIS IS FOR LIBERTY AND FREEDOM! FUCK YOU, BALLDRAGGERS! RUBY! GET ME MORE CLIPS, DARLING!"

Ruby: "S-Sure!" She tosses them

Jaune: "FUCK YEAH!"

He gets hit by a King Taijitsu, but Jaune just gets right back up and shoots the Grimm in the eyes before punching into its throat and ripping out various organs.

Jaune: "YEAAAAHHH! COAT ME IN YOUR BLOOD YOU MONSTER! TEACH THE REST OF THE GRIMM TO FLEE FROM ME LIKE THE PUSSIES THEY ARE!" He fires repeatedly, blowing away more Beowulves "UP YOUR ASSES, YOU ABOMINATIONS! I'M MAKING THE WORLD SAFE FOR MANKIND AND DEMOCRACY! HOOORAAAAAHHHHH!"

The rest of the Grimm are dispatched. Pyrrha hesitantly approaches Jaune.

Pyrrha: "Um, Jaune? Are you-MMPH?!"

And Jaune yanks her into a tonsil twirling, lewd, messy and noisy kiss.

Jaune: "FWAH! THAT'S FOR BEING A GOOD SOLDIER, PYRRHA! KEEP THIS UP AND I'LL PROMOTE YOU TO MOTHER OF MY TEN CHILDREN!"

Pyrrha: bright red, stutters, grins like a schoolgirl "S-Sir, yes sir~!"

Jaune: "HOORAH! GREAT JOB, REN! STONE COLD MOTHERFUCKER, THAT'S YOU! KEEP ICIN' THOSE GRIMM!"

Ren: "... Thank you sir."

Jaune: "NORA! YOU ARE MY DARLING ANGEL OF DESTRUCTION AND YOU'VE NEVER DONE ANYTHING WRONG! KEEP IT UP!"

Nora: "SIR YES SIR!" salutes

Weiss: "RUBY WHAT DID YOU DO?!"

Ruby: "I JUST GAVE HIM A GUN-MMPH?!"

And Jaune kisses her too.

Jaune: "MWAH! GREAT JOB, ROSE! KEEP IT UP AND YOU'LL MAKE SIDEPIECE!"

Ruby: dazed, giggles "O-Okay!"

Yang: "JAUNE! WHAT THE FUCK-?!"

Jaune: "XIAO-LONG! GOOD VIOLENCE! WAY TO MAKE THOSE DAMN GRIMM EAT THEIR SPINES! FUCK 'EM UP LIKE THE BOMBSHELL YOU ARE!"

Yang: "I... Well, yeah, but kissing my sister is way past the line-!"

Jaune: "I'LL GET TO YOU LATER ONCE I'VE CHEWED OUT THE DAMN PRINCESS AND KITTY! SCHNEE!"

Weiss: "Arc, what the hell is-?!"

Jaune: "YOUR ONLY ANSWER SHOULD BE 'SIR YES SIR', SCHNEE! THAT WAS A SHITTY PERFORMANCE, DAMNIT!"

Weiss: "But-I-!"

Jaune: "SIR YES SIR!"

Weiss: "S-SIR YES SIR!"

Jaune: "THE FUCK WERE YOU DOING?! YOUR TEAMMATES NEED YOU TO CAST YOUR MAGIC FUCKING MISSILES, NOT DANCE LIKE A BALLERINA! YOU CAN CAST LIKE A MOTHERFUCKING WIZARD! ACT LIKE IT, SOLDIER!"

Weiss: "S-Sir yes sir!"

Jaune: "BELLADONNA! FRONT AND CENTER!"

Blake: "I don't really know what's-!"

Ruby: "YOU HEARD HIM, SOLDIER! FRONT AND CENTER!"

Blake: startled, but obeys

Jaune: "YOUR NINJA SHIT IS GOOD, SOLDIER! BUT YOUR FAUNUS WOE IS ME SHIT DON'T FLY OUT HERE WHEN YOU'VE GOT GRIMM TRYING TO EAT YOU FROM THE ASSHOLE UP!"

Blake: "Wha-What does that even mean-?"

Jaune: "SIR YES SIR!"

Blake: "S-SIR YES SIR!"

Jaune: "YOUR PARTNER WAS GETTIN' SWARMED, BELLADONNA! SHAPE UP AND LOOK OUT FOR HER OR I'LL HAVE YOU COURT MARTIALED! THEN YOU'LL GET A REAMING LIKE ONLY IN YOUR DAMN SMUT BOOKS! IS THAT CLEAR?!"

Blake: "S-SIR YES SIR!"

Jaune: "ALL RIGHT! WE SURVIVED! BUT WE CAN AFFORD TO DO BETTER!! EVERYONE DROP AND GIVE ME FIFTY, DAMNIT!"

Professor Port: "Teams RWBY and JNPR! You passed the test, why are you still here?"

Jaune: "SIR! MY TEAMS ARE NOT PERFORMING AS WELL AS THEY CAN, SIR! SO I AM INSTRUCTING THEM AND HARDENING THEM FOR THE NEXT ENGAGEMENT, SIR!"

Weiss: "Help us Professor, he's gone insane-!"

Port: "Ah! Carry on, Mister Arc! Miss Rose! It's good to see some of the old Valean fire still exists!"

Jaune: "SIR! CAN WE GET SOME AIR SUPPORT ON THE NEXT MISSION, SIR?!"

Port: "I'll see what I can do. I miss the old days. Ah, the smell of napalm in the morning. Smelled like victory!"

Jaune: "SIR YES SIR!"

- - -

... Yeah no idea. Just thought that Jaune becoming an insane Helldivers-esque drill sergeant when he gets a gun might be funny. Your mileage may vary.

 

[TheFabulousCustodes]

Taiyang: "Mrs. Arc, trust me, my daughter is not a slut."

Qrow: "Though honestly, we were betting that she'd get knocked up out of wedlock first."

Yang: "QROW!"

Qrow: "Hey, wasn't my bet."

Click to shrink...

I just remembered Qrow & Emerald both have red eyes and similar jawlines, that can't be very common....

Short Idea

Qrow loudly proclaims he's the "responsible" one in the household while everyone is talking about Yang & Jaune's plans, enter Emerald walking in and going "Da...addy?".

 

[SharkCultist]

I just remembered Qrow & Emerald both have red eyes and similar jawlines, that can't be very common....

Short Idea

Qrow loudly proclaims he's the "responsible" one in the household while everyone is talking about Yang & Jaune's plans, enter Emerald walking in and going "Da...addy?".

Click to shrink...

"Many women have called me that in many different context."

 

[AndrewJTalon]

Jaune sees Cardin picking on Velvet.

Jaune: "Geez... I gotta do something..."

Nora: "GO ON, SARGE! KNOCK SOME SENSE INTO HIM!"

Jaune: "Nora, I told you, I'm not gonna do that again! It's too freaky-!"

Ruby, Pyrrha, Yang, and Weiss all shove guns into Jaune's hands.

Blake: "Wait, seriously?!"

Weiss: blush "It-It's about time he took charge!"

Yang: blush "Yeah! Vomit Boy's never been better with a gun in his hand!"

Pyrrha: blush "I-I don't want to be kissed again, or-or anything!"

Ruby: blush "I WANT TO GET KISSED AGAIN!"

Yang: "RUBY!"

Ruby: "WHAT?!"

Jaune has gotten up from his seat and stormed up to Cardin, who is unaware of Jaune's change.

Cardin: "The hell do you want, Jaune-?!"

Jaune: "THAT'S SARGE TO YOU, SOLDIER! OR SIR! OR THE RIGHT HAND OF GOD ALMIGHTY! ATTEN HUT!"

Cardin, shocked, nevertheless feels some compulsion to stand at attention.

Cardin: "What the-?!"

Velvet: "J-Jaune, what are you-?!"

Jaune: "YOU TOO, SOLDIER!"

Velvet: "E-EEP!" She does so "Yes sir!"

Jaune: "NEVER IN MY LIFE HAVE I SEEN SUCH DISGRACEFUL CONDUCT! WE ARE AT WAR! GLORIOUS WAR, FOR THE SAKE OF FREEDOM, LIFE, AND DEMOCRACY AGAINST THE GRIMM MENACE! WHETHER YOU ARE BLACK, WHITE, MALE, FEMALE, GAY, STRAIGHT, FAUNUS, MAN, HOT, NOT-HOT, OR EVEN BRITISH, WE HAVE A COMMON ENEMY! WE ARE BROTHERS AND SISTERS IN ARMS, SOLDIERS! YOU WILL NOT ACT SO DISGRACEFULLY AGAIN! DO I MAKE MYSELF CLEAR?!"

Cardin and Velvet: "SIR YES SIR!"

Jaune: "YOUR ATTEMPTS AT MAKING OUT ARE PITIFUL!"

Cardin: "S-Sir?!"

Jaune: "SCHNEE! FRONT AND CENTER!"

Weiss: "Huh?!"

Jaune: "ON THE DOUBLE!"

Weiss: "Y-Yes sir!"

Weiss quickly rushes up to Jaune's side. Jaune then proceeds to dip her in a tonsil clearing kiss that leaves Weiss bright red and panting happily after.

Jaune: "THAT THERE IS PROPER MAKEOUT PROCEDURE! WHAT YOU TWO ARE DOING IS AN UTTER DISGRACE! IT MAKES ME SICK!"

Cardin: "B-But we aren't-We weren't-!"

Jaune: "BUT! BUT! BUTTTT! BUTTS ARE WHAT I'M GONNA KICK IF YOU TWO DON'T SHAPE UP! NOW WINCHESTER!"

Cardin: "S-Sir!"

Jaune: "YOU ARE GOING TO HOLD YOUR SISTER-IN-ARM'S HAND!"

Cardin: "Sir?!"

Jaune: "ON THE DOUBLE, PUSSY!"

Cardin takes Velvet's hand.

Jaune: "VERY GOOD, WINCHESTER! YOU CAN USE YOUR GODDAMNED OPPOSABLE THUMBS! FUCKING BRILLIANT! NOW SOLDIER, IS IT NICE HOLDING HANDS WITH A HOT ALL-VALEAN BUNNY GIRL?!"

Velvet: "Um, I'm from Atlas, sort of-"

Jaune: "DID I GIVE YOU PERMISSION TO SPEAK, SCARLATINA?!"

Velvet: "EEP! N-NO SIR!"

Jaune: "THEN SHUT YOUR YAP! WINCHESTER, REPORT!"

Cardin: "Y-Yes sir, I like holding hands!"

Jaune: "SCARLATINA! DO YOU LIKE HOLDING HANDS?!"

Velvet: "Y-YES SIR!"

Jaune: "THAT'S GODDAMNED LEWD, SOLDIER! THE BEST KIND OF LEWD! WINCHESTER!"

Cardin: "Sir!"

Jaune: "YOU WILL GO BOND WITH YOUR SISTER-IN-ARMS! YOU WILL TAKE HER ON A DATE! YOU WILL DRESS NICE! YOU WILL ENSURE THAT YOU BOTH HAVE A GOOD TIME!"

Cardin: "Uh, sir-"

Jaune: "DID I ASK YOU A QUESTION, SOLDIER?!"

Cardin: "N-no sir!"

Jaune: "GOOD! ASK HER OUT, SOLDIER!"

Cardin: "DO YOU-Er... Do you want to go out?"

Velvet: "I uh... I mean... Sure?"

Jaune: "THAT IS PUSSY TALK, SCARLATINA! YES OR NO, SOLDIER?!"

Velvet: "Y-YES! YES I WILL GO OUT WITH HIM!"

Jaune: "GOOD! NOW! AFTER YOU HAVE A GOOD DATE, YOU WILL THEN ENGAGE IN COITUS! AND YOUR BONDS WILL DEEPEN SO YOU WILL BE BETTER PREPARED FOR THE GLORIOUS FIGHT AGAINST THE GRIMM MENACE! AND THEN YOU MAY CONTINUE TO GO ON DATES, THEN MARRIAGE AS THE FINAL STEP IN FORTIFYING YOUR BONDS! IS THAT CLEAR?!"

Velvet and Cardin: "SIR YES SIR!"

Jaune: "GET ON IT!"

The two head off, still holding hands, blushing and looking very confused.

Weiss: "Uh... Jaune, I'm... A little confused-"

Jaune: slaps her bottom

Weiss: "EEP!"

Jaune: "I'M TRYING TO TURN RACISM INTO HAPPY BONDING BETWEEN SOLDIERS, SCHNEE! IF IT WORKS, WE'LL HAVE ONE MORE PAIR OF COMRADES IN ARMS WHO WILL FIGHT TO THE DEATH FOR THEIR HAPPY ENDING! A HAPPY ENDING INVOLVING POTENTIALLY DOZENS OF NEW SOLDIERS FOR THE GLORIOUS FIGHT FOR FREEDOM AND DEMOCRACY!"

Weiss: "Y-Yessir!"

Jaune: "AS YOU WERE, SCHNEE!"

Weiss: "... Making out with you?"

Jaune: "YES!"

Weiss: blush "YES SIR!"

 

[SharkCultist]

I feel like Weiss is getting to live Winters fetish.

 

[IvanR1314]

I do say that Jaune with a arsenal of Modular guns(think our world guns with picatinny rails for attachments when I say this, and the Remnant version would have gunpower propelled ammo that has Dust elemental augment modules(think Borderlands elemental attachment), and explosives like handgrenades, mines and rockets, missiles and grenade shells can have Dust in the content ammo) or basically a RWBY version of a Boomer Shooter arsenal for our favorite Dorky Knight would be good for combat improvements, I forgot about how that would affect his personality. Like, would he do one liners or go tacticool dude way?

Drill Sargent mode is one way, but what about say Build Engine tier protagonist? Lots of ideas with that.

 

[AndrewJTalon]

I do say that Jaune with a arsenal of Modular guns(think our world guns with picatinny rails for attachments when I say this, and the Remnant version would have gunpower propelled ammo that has Dust elemental augment modules(think Borderlands elemental attachment), and explosives like handgrenades, mines and rockets, missiles and grenade shells can have Dust in the content ammo) or basically a RWBY version of a Boomer Shooter arsenal for our favorite Dorky Knight would be good for combat improvements, I forgot about how that would affect his personality. Like, would he do one liners or go tacticool dude way?

Drill Sargent mode is one way, but what about say Build Engine tier protagonist? Lots of ideas with that.

Click to shrink...

Given my inspiration is Helldivers? Yes, and yes. He does one liners and he's Tacticool.

 

[AndrewJTalon]

Later, after emotions and hormones have died down a lot and Jaune is more clear headed...

Weiss: "But... How? Why?"

Jaune: "No clue. Maybe it's some kind of wacky Semblance for my family? But yeah, the moment we get a gun or smell napalm... We kind of change."

Yang: grins "Hoorah! It's awesome, Jaune!"

Ruby: "You're only say that because of that kiss!"

Yang: "Well, that and the way he fed that Ursa its spleen was art, Ruby. Now, go on and play with your toys, the adults are talking-"

Ruby: "I'M THE ONE WHO FIGURED IT OUT! I GAVE HIM THE GUN!"

Jaune: "LADIES! ENOUGH! Geez...!"

Weiss: "But... Your whole family?! I-I just... It's too insane! It makes no sense!"

Jaune: "Well what else could it be?!"

Blake: "You're mentally ill and just made up that story to appease us for some reason?"

Jaune: sighs "Hang on..." He makes a call "Hey, Terra? Yeah, can you put Saphron on? Give me a second."

Jaune plugs his Scroll into a holoprojector, and in an instant, Saphron and Terra Cotta-Arc, Jaune's sister and sister-in-law, are on screen. They have baby Adrian with them, too.

Jaune: "Hey Sis."

Saphron: "Hey Jaune! What's up?"

Jaune: sigh "I got a gun in my hand and-"

Saphron: nods sagely "Ahhhh. They don't believe you, huh?"

Jaune: "Nope."

Saphron hands Adrian to Terra. Terra hands Saprhon a gun. Saphron sucks in a deep breath... Then glares.

Saphron: "LISTEN YOU STD RIDDEN WHORES! MY BROTHER'S RIGHT! PUT A GUN IN AN ARC'S HAND AND WE BECOME LEAN, MEAN, FIGHTIN' MARINES FOR FREEDOM AND DEMOCRACY! NOW YOU BITCHES BETTER BEHAVE YOURSELVES AND GIVE MY BROTHER A HORDE OF NEPHEWS AND NIECES FOR ME TO SPOIL, MOTHERFUCKERS!"

Jaune: "Saphron, woah, I think that's enough-"

Saphron: "DON'T TALK TO ME WHEN YOU'RE BEING A PUSSY, JAUNE!"

Jaune: "FINE!" He grabs his gun "DON'T GIVE ME THAT LIP, SOLDIER, OR WE'RE GONNA HAVE SOME MOTHER FUCKING PROBLEMS!"

Saphron: "DON'T GIVE ME LIP, PUSSY! NOT UNLESS YOU CAN BACK IT UP!"

Jaune: "FINE! OLD ARC MARINE TRADITION! WHOEVER KILLS THE MOST MOTHERFUCKING GRIMM IN AN HOUR WINS!"

Saphron: "FINE BY ME! I LOVE YOU, YOU LITTLE FUCKING PUSSY BROTHER OF MINE!"

Jaune: "I LOVE YOU TOO, BIG SISTER BITCH!"

They both run off. Weiss is gaping in disbelief.

Weiss: "Wha... But... WHY DID YOU HAVE A GUN READY TO GO LIKE THAT?!"

Terra: blush "... It's Friday night for us, so-"

Weiss: "NEVERMIND! FORGET I ASKED!"

Blake: "I wouldn't mind hearing more-"

Weiss: "DAMNIT BLAKE!"

 

[IvanR1314]

Given my inspiration is Helldivers? Yes, and yes. He does one liners and he's Tacticool.

Click to shrink...

When I wrote Tacticool, I meant more like Special Operations unit, cool and collected. Helldivers inspired Drill Sargent is more of a Loud and Boisterous type.

Build Engine type protagonist, think Duke Nukem type action hero slinging guns and oneliners with same potency.

 

[AndrewJTalon]

When I wrote Tacticool, I meant more like Special Operations unit, cool and collected. Helldivers inspired Drill Sargent is more of a Loud and Boisterous type.

Build Engine type protagonist, think Duke Nukem type action hero slinging guns and oneliners with same potency.

Click to shrink...

I'd read either! Either sounds great! Though I do admit I'd like a cool and collected Jaune reacting to the eccentricities of his fellow Hunters/Huntresses.

 

[IvanR1314]

I'd read either! Either sounds great! Though I do admit I'd like a cool and collected Jaune reacting to the eccentricities of his fellow Hunters/Huntresses.

Click to shrink...

Oh, and Film Nior Detective type of Hadboiled badass, as well. Hell, imagine Cowboy Jaune type Gunslinger, too! Then also a verbose warrior poet variant.

Cool and Collected Jaune be like: thinking; Combat class is starting, if RNG picks me, will have to bring my A-game. MBR, SMG, Handgun and Crocea Mors will do nicely. Cardin is my foe, keep him at a distance, shoot and move.

 

[TheFabulousCustodes]

I'd read either! Either sounds great! Though I do admit I'd like a cool and collected Jaune reacting to the eccentricities of his fellow Hunters/Huntresses.

Click to shrink...

Jaune - "Am I the only sane, normal person in this entire school?"

Penny - "Hello, friend Jaune! I too, am a normal sane human, who also happens to be a real girl as well!"

 

[AndrewJTalon]

Headmaster Ozpin and Glynda Goodwitch wait in the former's office. And naturally, there is a certain subject that Goodwitch would like to talk about.

Goodwitch: "Headmaster, I was dubious at best when you let Jaune Arc in. Now, I think we might be better off expelling him."

Ozpin: "Nonsense! Student morale has never been higher. The use of Dust grenades and air support has greatly improved our mission success and the defenses of Vale! Even the exchange students are getting along! The young man has great charisma!"

Goodwitch: "He firebombed the Emerald Forest!"

Ozpin: "They're trees, they'll grow back."

Goodwitch: sighs "He also seems to have lost his indoor voice."

Ozpin: "Glynda, the Arc Family are fearsome warriors, but to become so, they gained some... Eccentricities. But I assure you, it is well worth it to allow these eccentricities."

The elevator doors open, and Jaune Arc steps out. He walks up to the desk and salutes.

Jaune: "HEADMASTER! PROFESSOR! I HAVE BROUGHT PAPERWORK THAT REQUIRES YOUR ATTENTION, SIR AND MA'AM!"

Glynda: sighs

Ozpin: "What kind of paperwork, Mister Arc?"

Jaune: "PER YOUR INSTRUCTIONS TO FIND MEANS OF IMPROVEMENT IN BEACON'S OPERATIONS, I TOOK THE LIBERTY OF ASKING MY SISTER-IN-LAW FOR ASSISTANCE! SHE HAS PROVIDED SOFTWARE PROGRAMS THAT WILL ALLOW PAPERWORK TO BE COMPLETED IN MINUTES INSTEAD OF DAYS, WITH ONLY A MINOR INCREASE IN THE IT BUDGET, SIR AND MA'AM!"

Glynda looks it over. Her eyes widen in shock.

Glynda: "I... They would... Will you sign off on it, Headmaster?"

Ozpin: "Of course! Anything to make your paperwork load more manageable, Glynda. I asked Mister Arc to look into this with you in mind."

Jaune: "SIR YES SIR! LOGISTICS IS THE KEY TO MILITARY OPERATIONS! IMPROVING LOGISTICS IMPROVES EVERY OTHER ASPECT OF THE MILITARY LIFE, SIR AND MA'AM!"

Goodwitch: "Well... Uh... Thank you, Mister Arc, Headmaster. It's very much appreciated."

Jaune: "IN ADDITION! THIS WILL GIVE YOU ENOUGH TIME TO DATE, MA'AM!"

Goodwitch: "I'm sorry?"

Jaune: "A BEAUTIFUL, INTELLIGENT, AND POWERFUL HUNTRESS LIKE YOURSELF SHOULD NOT BE CHAINED TO A DESK, MA'AM! YOU SHOULD GET TO ENJOY ALL ASPECTS OF FREEDOM AND DEMOCRACY, INCLUDING A HAPPY MARRIAGE AND CHILDREN IF YOU SO WISH! IF IT WAS NOT AGAINST SCHOOL REGULATIONS, I MYSELF WOULD HAPPILY FATHER YOUR CHILDREN IF ALLOWED, MA'AM!"

Goodwitch burns bright red and gapes at him. He's yelling, but he doesn't change his tone.

Ozpin: smirks and hides a chuckle "Very good, Mister Arc, though a bit forward."

Jaune: "SIR YES SIR! I ALSO FOUND MONEY IN THE BUDGET FOR FLIGHT TRAINING, TO GIVE US READY CLOSE AIR SUPPORT!"

Ozpin: "Really? That much? From where?"

Jaune: "THE COFFEE BUDGET, SIR! IT IS EXCESSIVELY LARGE FOR THE INSTITUTION!"

Ozpin: coughs "That-I'm afraid the coffee budget is non-negotiable-"

Goodwitch: evil grin "It sounds wonderful to me, Mister Arc! Headmaster Ozpin will sign off on that, count on it." Glares death at Ozpin

Ozpin: coughs "I'll... Consider it. Anything else, Mister Arc?"

Jaune: "SIR! MY FEMALE TEAMMATES HAVE REQUESTED THE OPTION OF MATERNITY LEAVE! AS SERGEANT, I HAVE RESPECTFULLY DECLINED THEIR REQUESTS BUT MUST PASS THEIR REQUESTS TO MY COMMANDING OFFICER PER REGULATIONS! WHILE I INTEND TO HAVE MANY CHILDREN BECAUSE LARGE LOVING FAMILIES ARE THE FRUITS OF FREEDOM AND DEMOCRACY, I CANNOT IN GOOD CONSCIENCE ALLOW SO MANY EXCEPTIONAL FRONT-LINE FIGHTERS TO BE OUT OF ACTION FOR NINE MONTHS AT THIS TIME!"

Ozpin: "Wait, all of them filled out this paperwork?"

Jaune: "SIR YES SIR!"

Ozpin: "Couldn't you just impregnate them one at a time?"

Jaune: "NO SIR! SUCH A THING IS ANATHEMA TO THE ARC FAMILY'S DEDICATION TO FREEDOM AND DEMOCRACY, SIR! WHEN SO MANY BEAUTIFUL SOLDIERS REQUEST YOU IMPREGNATE THEM, IT'S ALL OR NOTHING, SIR! HOORAAH!"

Ozpin: "I uh... I see... Well, I'll just hold onto that paperwork and file it when it's more appropriate."

Jaune: "YES SIR AND MA'AM!"

Ozpin: "Dismissed."

Jaune: "YES SIR AND MA'AM!" Salutes, heads out, vanishes in the elevator

Ozpin: "Well... At least he's organized, huh Glynda?"

Goodwitch: staring at the maternity leave paperwork "Why do we even have that paperwork?!"

Ozpin: "Well, it's for the best you know of it now, huh Glynda?"

Glynda rolls up the paperwork and smacks him with it.

 

[AndrewJTalon]

Would you consider writing a Jaune "whole Team" Arc with him being the only guy in the team sort of shorts?

Click to shrink...

I might. I do like Rin Lie being a quiet but deadly girl who happens to have a massive crush on Jaune.

 

[NooneImportant]

I might. I do like Rin Lie being a quiet but deadly girl who happens to have a massive crush on Jaune.

Click to shrink...

Ah yes, Nora "will shatter your legs aiming for the knees if so much as a tear falls from Rin" Valkyrie,
and Rin "will choke you to death in your sleep with her hands if you make Nora sad" Lie.
Also starring Pyrrha "Absolutely smitten with Jaune, if he's hurt, someone will mysteriously disappear, also, Nora and Rin just kiss already!" Nikos,
and Jaune "I will throw hands if you make anyone on my team sad" Arc.

damn, that's a bit too wordy to work with…

Rin's got a crush on Jaune, Nora and Rin are protective of each other, Pyrrha's reading that as love for each other (may or may not be the wrong type she's reading) and also has a crush on Jaune, and Jaune's doing his best to lead the team.

 

[AndrewJTalon]

Ah yes, Nora "will shatter your legs aiming for the knees if so much as a tear falls from Rin" Valkyrie,
and Rin "will choke you to death in your sleep with her hands if you make Nora sad" Lie.
Also starring Pyrrha "Absolutely smitten with Jaune, if he's hurt, someone will mysteriously disappear, also, Nora and Ron just kiss already!" Nikos,
and Jaune "I will throw hands if you make anyone on my team sad" Arc.

damn, that's a bit too wordy to work with…

Rin's got a crush on Jaune, Nora and Ron are protective of each other, Pyrrha's reading that as love for each other (May or may not be the wrong type she's reading) and also has a crush on Jaune, and Jaune's doing his best to lead the team.

Click to shrink...

And Nora is fine with her entire team and family being one gigantic fuck pile of happiness!

 

[AndrewJTalon]

So, what else will Sergeant Jaune Arc do to SAVE DEMOCRACY AND FREEDOM FROM THE GRIMM MENACE?!

Embark on his own efforts to make propaganda films to fire up the hearts of the citizens?!

Work with Atlas to bring in heavy military weaponry to the curriculum of Beacon?

Jaune: "GENERAL! ROCKET LAUNCHERS SHOULD NOT ONLY BE AVAILABLE, BUT MANDATORY FIELD KIT SIR!"

Ironwood: "... I like your spirit, son."

Jaune: "THANK YOU SIR!"

Use his fiery charisma to inspire the apathetic populace?

Blake: "Okay, we're in the White Fang rally. Everything should be fine if-Wait, why is Jaune mounting the stage?! WHO GAVE HIM A GUN?!"

Pyrrha: "Um... Oops?"

All: "PYRRHA!"

Pyrrha: "I WANTED MORE KISSES!"

Jaune: "SISTERS AND BROTHERS! WHY FIGHT THE HUMANS?! CONFLICT WITH HUMANS ONLY EMBOLDENS OUR TRUE ENEMY, THE GRIMM MENACE! KILLING HUMANS SUCKS! IT INVOLVES ETHICAL QUESTIONS LIKE THE VALUE OF LIFE, THE PRICE OF FREEDOM, AND HOW TO TAKE DOWN A TANK! BUT WITH GRIMM? THE ONLY FUCKING ANSWERS FOR GRIMM IS "OPEN FIRE" AND "RELOAD"! NOBODY'S GONNA QUESTION THE ETHICS OF KILLING A MOTHERFUCKING GRIMM!"

White Fang Members: "Hey, yeah!"

Jaune: "KILLING HUMANS IS BULLSHIT! KILLING GRIMM ADVANCES FREEDOM AND DEMOCRACY! AND YOU GET THE MOST BADASS WEAPONS IF YOU WANNA FIGHT GRIMM! LIKE THIS MOTHERFUCKING ATLASIAN PALADIN MECH! WHO WANTS TO SEE ME KILL SOME FUCKING GRIMM WITH IT AND DEFEND DEMOCRACY?!"

White Fang Members: "YEAHHHHHH!"

Jaune: "HOORAH!"

Blake: "... I literally cannot believe that worked."

 

[RandomDragon]

…now I want the fact that there is a helldiver in Juanes ancestors because warp core fucked up to be made cannon…

and that juane has a habit of trying to get spherical objects and do quick puzzle button direction pressing with laughing maniacally.

especially if the robots go nuts and there's insectoid Grimm around.

Which case he tried to do this:

Jaune: "Me losing? To all you?!? HAHAHAHAHA!!! Here's a riddle for you undemocratic scum! Roses are Red, Liberty is freedom, and with this stratagem, I SUMMON 500kg BOMB, THE FREEDOM HATING, LIBERTY DESTROYING, UNDEMOCRATIC BUG AND AUTOMOTON STOMPER!!!"

(the resulting blast almost killed the entire team of it weren't for Aura…which case they sll agreed to never give Juane explosives or acess to such weaponry again)

 

[SamRand0]

I imagine by sheer force of will he has Liberty Prime manifest as his spirit animal

 

[SharkCultist]

You know God damned well that Entire Team Taiyang is why you have that paperwork.

 

[meloa789]

I was hearing this when I read the whole thing

 

[AndrewJTalon]

Some other ideas:

-Yang and Jaune are the only members of their team with driver's licenses. Hijinks ensue.

-Penny decides to try dating, and selects Jaune Arc as her first boyfriend. God help him.

-How would Sarge!Jaune react to Salem?

-The adventures of the Huntsman and Wonder-Zwei!

-Since the DC crossover, what other crossovers into Remnant might be fun? Various characters getting transplanted into Remnant as super powered teenagers?

 

[TheFabulousCustodes]

-Yang and Jaune are the only members of their team with driver's licenses. Hijinks ensue.

Click to shrink...

Jaune and Yang's relationship gets kick started when they start hanging out to bitch about being used for rides by their teammates.

-The adventures of the Huntsman and Wonder-Zwei!

Click to shrink...

Glynda gets caught up in Vales super villain scene after trying to put a stop to Jaune & Zwei's antics, and becomes the Disciplinarian, Vale's newest hero, who is also chasing after the Huntsmen. The Red Huntress is concerned......

 

[AndrewJTalon]

Yang stormed into the common room nearby Team RWBY and JNPR's dorms, her eyes burning red in her anger. She stomped to the cabinet over the kitchenette, and threw it open. She pushed aside the various boxes of snacks and cereal, seeking out her respite... But her search was in vain. She growled angrily.

"Who the hell took my booze?!" She growled.

"Yo."

She turned her fiery glare over at a nearby couch. Jaune Arc sat there, pouring himself a glass of her whiskey!

"That's not yours!" She accused. Usually, Jaune would cringe or even cower when she was really angry. Instead, he glared blearily at her as he held the glass up to his lips.

"I'll buy you another five bottles, but right now? I need it." He threw it back with some familiarity. He still coughed a little, but not nearly as much as she thought Vomit Boy might. He shook his head and made a face. "Gods, this is awful."

"It's my favorite!" Yang growled back, storming over and sitting across from him. She grabbed her own glass and poured herself some. She threw it back, unable to keep one cough from escaping her mouth, nor a wheeze. "Haa... It's supposed to taste like drain cleaner!"

"No, whiskey is supposed to taste like whiskey," Jaune stated firmly, "Not this crap. You're supposed to savor it as you get drunk."

"I don't want to savor it, I wanna be mad and drunk!" Yang growled. Jaune was enough of a gentleman to pour her another, and she was enough of a lady to nod back in appreciation despite her mood.

"Me too, but I'm still a connoisseur," Jaune sniffed.

"That a fancy word for snob?"

"It...!" Jaune paused, and poured himself another glass. "I guess so. What are you mad about?"

Yang sighed in deep anger as she sipped her glass.

"Just because I'm the only one with a freaking driver's license, that makes me the team taxi!"

Jaune nodded.

"Oh Gods, yeah. That's bullshit!"

Yang nodded back enthusiastically, seeing the recognition in his eyes. That mutual sense of being absolutely fucking done.

"YEAH! Why am I suddenly on call 24/7 for every stupid dumbass thing my team gets up to?!" Yang demanded. "Why do I have to risk my dad's car to pick up Blake when she gets in a fight with the White Fang?!"

"I know right?!" Jaune growled, throwing back another glass of the not awful whiskey, thank you very much! "I had to go bail Nora out of jail for trying to steal a sloth from the zoo! THE ZOO! Ren was supposed to be watching her!"

"Why do I have to pick up Weiss's fucking dry cleaning?!" Yang complained, accepting another full glass from Jaune before sipping it angrily. "AND PAY FOR IT?! She's got BUTLERS who can do that for her!"

"As much as I care about Pyrrha," Jaune said, "WHY do I have to pick up her freaking agents and publicists from the airport for her?! They're all so fucking sleazy and slimy and CREEPY! Are they trying to groom her?! If I was her I'd fire them all! OUT OF A CANNON!"

"AND WHY DO I HAVE TO FETCH MY UNCLE EVERY TIME HE'S NAKED AND DRUNK IN PUBLIC?!" Yang roared. She slammed the glass down, almost breaking it as she glared at nothing. "YOU CAN TURN INTO A FUCKING BIRD, DAMNIT!"

Jaune snickered.

"Asshole probably doesn't wanna get cooked."

"I'd cook him!" Yang growled. "I'd cook him with-with fucking shallots and garlic!"

"Crows aren't good for cooking, too lean and gamey," Jaune said with a nod. Yang stared at him, blinked away the fuzzies in her vision.

"But you'd still cook him if I asked, right?"

Jaune finished his latest glass, and nodded, smacking his lips as he wobbled on the other couch.

"Fuck yeah I would. With... With wild mushrooms and field greens. Like Argula... Arugululu... That one."

Yang snorted in laughter.

"You're drunk!"

"Yeah, I wanted to be drunk," Jaune snorted back, giggling a little. He stood up and spread his arms widely. "So I'm drunk! GO ME!"

"WOO! YOU WIN AT GETTING DRUNK!" Yang cheered. She threw back another glass of the whiskey, the burning hitting her so well. "Fuuuuck... Yeah..."

She went to the bottle... Then glared when she found it empty.

"Jaune! Hey, Jaune!"

"Yeah?" Jaune asked.

Yang held up the bottle with a scowl.

"Someone drank our booze!"

"Fuck... I mean... Did we have that much?" Jaune asked, leaning over to stare at the empty bottle. "I don't-I'm drunk, but... I didn't have that much... What proof is this?"

"Realllllyyyy high," Yang giggled, "Fuck! Someone... Someone stole some from us! That dick!"

"Fuck that guy!" Jaune agreed. He looked up at Yang and shared her scowl. "We gotta... We gotta get more, Yang! I'm-I'm not done complaining and being drunk!"

"Me neither!" Yang agreed happily. Jaune stood up, wobbled, and fell over the coffee table onto her. His face landed between her breasts. She laughed uproariously.

"You-Geez, you are drunk!"

"Nuh... Yeah," Jaune mumbled, looking up at her, "Yeah. That's... That's what I wanted... You drunk?"

Yang shrugged.

"Drunk enough," she said. She snickered.

"You went right between my boobs!"

"I couldn't MISS!" Jaune shot back angrily. Yang laughed harder, as Jaune blushed. "S'not funny!"

"So is! I knew you looked at 'em!" She cackled.

"So does everyone else!" Jaune countered. Yang smirked at him, enjoying his anger. It was nice to not be the only wounded party around here, for once.

Like, actually wounded.

"So you admit to it?"

"Yes!" He growled.

"Pyrrha's too?"

"YES!"

"Weiss's..." Yang broke down in laughter. "SHE AIN'T GOT ANY!"

"I KNOW!" Jaune shot back, "She's still hot! You're all so freaking hot!"

"And you go after the slim rich ballerina!" Yang giggled. Jaune scowled.

"What's funny bout-bout that?!"

"Well, if you asked, Pyrrha'd have yer babies," Yang snickered, "Ruby... I'd kill ya, but she'd be down-"

"What about you, huh?" Jaune asked challengingly. Yang smirked back at him.

"Well... That would require you having balls," she teased. "Vombit Oy! Vomit... Bomit Voy..."

"I do have balls!"

"You're on top of me," Yang laughed, "And you're not doing anything-!"

Jaune, driven by alcohol, hormones, and outrage, leaned in and kissed her. It wasn't a childish peck, either-Full tongue action commenced, and Yang was hardly going to let someone invade one of her orifices without challenge.

They made out furiously, sloppily, drunkenly... Before Jaune rolled over and took Yang with him to the floor with a thud.

"OOF!"

Jaune groaned, but he grinned back at her in triumph.

"Who... Doesn't have balls... Now, huh?" He growled.

She pulled him into another kiss, to shut him up.

- - -

 

[TheFabulousCustodes]

"I know right?!" Jaune growled, throwing back another glass of the not awful whiskey, thank you very much! "I had to go bail Nora out of jail for trying to steal a sloth from the zoo! THE ZOO! Ren was supposed to be watching her!"

Click to shrink...

In all fairness, sloth's are pretty cute.

 

[AndrewJTalon]

Or just whatever pops out of my brain.

- - -

Tugging on a Faunus's sensitive ears was a good way to inflict some pain and suffering on the weak. So Cardin locked onto the rabbit Faunus girl in the cafeteria. He stalked up behind her, and reached up. He grabbed onto her ears and tugged, hard.

"OW! OOH!"

"Yeah, take that you freak!" Cardin laughed. He tugged again.

"Ooooohhhhh~! Ohhhh...!"

The tone of the bunny girl's sounds... Changed. He was still tugging, and they... They weren't cries of pain. Almost robotically, he kept tugging, even as she kept making... More disturbing sounds...

"Ooohh..." She peered over her shoulder at him, face red, eyes darkened with lust. She licked her lips.

"Harder."

"What," Cardin managed.

"Harder! Pull them harder!" She moaned loudly. "Call me a beast! Put a collar and leash around my neck and make me your sex pet!"

"NO! NO! NO!" Cardin shouted, letting her ears go and backing the fuck up. She closed the gap, gazing worshipfully up into his eyes.

"Yes Master! Make me your bunny brood mare! Spank me for being a naughty Faunus with thoughts above my station!"

"You're nuts!" Cardin cried in shock. "What the fuck is wrong with you?!"

"ABUSE ME! ABUSE ME MORE, MASTERRRR!"

"AAAAHHHHH!" Cardin turned and ran out of the cafeteria. Like hell was he dealing with this!

He looked over his shoulder. His face went pale. She was chasing after him, skipping merrily, a broad smile on her face.

"COME BACK MY LOVE~!"

"NO WAY IN HELL!"

The student body left all collectively blinked... Then decided to just pretend that never happened and get back to eating.

Save for Blake, who was already penning a new epic of love, lust, debauchery, and intelligent social commentary on race relations.

... Though really, it was mostly the first three things.

 

[SharkCultist]

Or just whatever pops out of my brain.

- - -

Tugging on a Faunus's sensitive ears was a good way to inflict some pain and suffering on the weak. So Cardin locked onto the rabbit Faunus girl in the cafeteria. He stalked up behind her, and reached up. He grabbed onto her ears and tugged, hard.

"OW! OOH!"

"Yeah, take that you freak!" Cardin laughed. He tugged again.

"Ooooohhhhh~! Ohhhh...!"

The tone of the bunny girl's sounds... Changed. He was still tugging, and they... They weren't cries of pain. Almost robotically, he kept tugging, even as she kept making... More disturbing sounds...

"Ooohh..." She peered over her shoulder at him, face red, eyes darkened with lust. She licked her lips.

"Harder."

"What," Cardin managed.

"Harder! Pull them harder!" She moaned loudly. "Call me a beast! Put a collar and leash around my neck and make me your sex pet!"

"NO! NO! NO!" Cardin shouted, letting her ears go and backing the fuck up. She closed the gap, gazing worshipfully up into his eyes.

"Yes Master! Make me your bunny brood mare! Spank me for being a naughty Faunus with thoughts above my station!"

"You're nuts!" Cardin cried in shock. "What the fuck is wrong with you?!"

"ABUSE ME! ABUSE ME MORE, MASTERRRR!"

"AAAAHHHHH!" Cardin turned and ran out of the cafeteria. Like hell was he dealing with this!

He looked over his shoulder. His face went pale. She was chasing after him, skipping merrily, a broad smile on her face.

"COME BACK MY LOVE~!"

"NO WAY IN HELL!"

The student body left all collectively blinked... Then decided to just pretend that never happened and get back to eating.

Save for Blake, who was already penning a new epic of love, lust, debauchery, and intelligent social commentary on race relations.

... Though really, it was mostly the first three things.

Click to shrink...