And here it is:
- - -
Tucked away in the wilds on Vale's outskirts, stood a military fortress. Its bunker-like walls bristling with automated turrets and heavy defenses. The main gate, flanked by vigilant guards in black gear, was an impenetrable barrier, while searchlights swept the perimeter in relentless arcs, leaving no shadow unchecked. Soldiers patrolled with mechanical precision, their eyes sharp, their weapons ready. Any flicker of movement would unleash a swift, merciless response. This was the stronghold of the Shadow Company, a place where even the wind seemed to hold its breath, unable to slip past the sensors undetected.
Yet, in the midst of this ironclad security, a faint shadow—barely a whisper—glided over the outer wall. A black cat, sleek and silent, moved with liquid grace, weaving through the searchlights' glare and sidestepping infrared beams with effortless precision. Each leap was a calculated dance, evading cameras and sensors as if she knew their patterns by heart. The patrolling soldiers remained oblivious, their focus elsewhere.
One guard, passing close by, caught a fleeting glimpse of a dark shape from the corner of his eye. He spun, rifle raised, his flashlight cutting through the darkness. Nothing—just his own shadow and the distant hum of insects. Frowning, he scanned the area once more, then shook his head with a low, self-mocking grunt. "Must've been the wind," he muttered, resuming his patrol.
Unseen, the black cat scaled the outer wall, her claws silent against the concrete. She landed deftly on a narrow iron railing on the second floor, balancing with the ease of a tightrope walker. Her tail swayed gently, and her golden eyes gleamed in the dark, scanning the surroundings with predatory alertness.
Not far away, in an office with a half-open window, a blond man sat at a cluttered desk, muttering curses as he sifted through reports. "Unit Three's almost complete, good. Then the ammo supply for the expedition team… Charles crashed another Bullhead? Didn't Henry and Ellie stop him? Hah, damn it." Phillip Graves rubbed his temples, his voice a low growl of exasperation.
A familiar prickle ran down his spine, and his eyes sharpened. Slowly, he looked up toward the window. There, framed against the night, sat the black cat, her tail flicking lazily, her golden gaze fixed on him like a silent greeting.
Graves's lips twitched into a knowing smirk. He set down his papers and gave a slight nod. "Just come in already," he said, his voice dry but amused. "The window's not locked, Yoruichi."
The cat leapt inside with a graceful bound, and in a flash of purple light, her form shifted. Yoruichi Shihouin stood before him, bronze-skinned, purple-haired, her golden eyes glinting with mischief. She crossed her arms, leaning casually against the wall, her posture relaxed but alert. "Still sharp as ever, Graves," she said, her chuckle warm but edged with challenge.
"Old friends," Graves said with a shrug, leaning back in his chair. "How many times has it been? You fighting Shadow Company? We've gotten used to it by now."
They shared a brief laugh, the kind born of countless clashes and mutual respect. Graves's expression turned businesslike, his voice direct. "So, what brings you here this time? And be careful—Fenra's still holding a grudge from the last time you flattened her. She's not as forgiving as I am."
"I know," Yoruichi said, her eyebrow arching nonchalantly. "How long's she been stewing? Six months? A year? Women can be so petty sometimes."
Graves shook his head, a wry smile tugging at his lips. "Anyway, let's talk business." Yoruichi's hands settled on her hips, her eyes narrowing with a teasing glint. "You really sent a squad to prowl around the Belladonna estate?"
Graves crossed his arms, his gaze steady. "Necessary control measures. The White Fang's been stirring up trouble lately—especially the radicals."
"Mhm," Yoruichi hummed, her tail swaying lazily. "I get the need for surveillance. But it's a bit much, don't you think? Others might not notice, but I know your Faunus operatives by heart—the way they walk, their eyes, their instincts. Pure Shadow Company training."
Graves gave a low grunt, his silence a guarded admission. Yoruichi's voice turned firm, half-request, half-command. "Call them off. I want you to pull your infiltration teams away from the Belladonna estate."
Graves's eyes darkened, his tone cold and unyielding. "No."
The air grew taut, a silent clash of wills. Yoruichi blinked slowly, as if she'd anticipated his refusal, then pulled a file from her waist and tossed it onto his desk with a sharp slap. Graves raised an eyebrow, flipping it open. Inside was a detailed organizational chart of the White Fang's internal structure—Adam Taurus's unit, their routes, gathering points, and member lists. The intel was a goldmine.
He looked up, his gaze locking with hers. "A trade," Yoruichi said, her sly smile returning. "You pull your soldiers out, and I hand you this."
"…Where did you get this?" Graves asked, his voice low, probing.
"Enough to prove my sincerity, don't you think?" Yoruichi said, her grin mischievous.
Graves chuckled, tucking the file away. "Plenty. Enough to pull an entire squad."
Yoruichi's eyes narrowed in satisfaction, and she hopped onto the windowsill, her movements fluid. "Don't worry," she added, her voice sincere, "I won't let your people's efforts go to waste. I'll watch over those who need protecting."
The tension eased, replaced by a familiar camaraderie. Then Yoruichi shot him a playful look, her grin turning foxlike. "By the way, there's one more thing I thought you'd like to hear."
Graves arched an eyebrow, murmuring, "…What?"
"It's about your adorable nephew—Jaune Arc—and my little niece, Blake." Yoruichi's grin widened, brimming with mischief. "Those two? Their relationship's not just friendship anymore~"
Graves's expression remained impassive as he lifted his cup, taking a slow sip of water. "I don't need you to tell me that," he said coolly.
"Oh, but wait—" Yoruichi's laugh was bright, infectious. "That's not the good part. A few days ago, Blake told me she's pregnant and engaged to Jaune."
Graves's brow furrowed, skepticism clear. Yoruichi raised her hands, her expression exaggeratedly innocent. "Relax, relax," she chuckled. "Totally fake. A hundred percent lie. Blake panicked and blurted it out when I cornered her."
"But~" Yoruichi leaned in, her voice dropping conspiratorially, "I caught her tells—when she lies, her ears twitch ever so slightly. And then I thought… why not drag you into a little prank on those two lovebirds?"
Graves stared at her for a moment, then a rare smirk curled his lips, a glint of the old trickster sparking in his eyes. "…How do you want to play it?"
Yoruichi's eyes gleamed, her grin sharp and dangerous. "Simple. We act like we completely believe them. Then we arrange a 'secret meeting'—watch them panic. Especially Jaune. That kid can't hide a damn thing when he's nervous."
Graves let out a low chuckle, a hunter's mischief surfacing. "…Deal."
Their eyes met, and they shared a pair of dangerous, knowing smiles, the kind only old rogues could muster.
The dorms of Beacon Academy were a welcome refuge after a grueling day, the halls quiet save for the shuffling steps of Teams RWBY and JNPR. The two teams staggered toward their common room, their combat gear caked in soot and oil, their faces etched with exhaustion and irritation. The mission to save a village from an oil tanker spill had been a chaotic disaster, and their moods reflected it—except for Ruby Rose and Nora Valkyrie, who bounced along with infuriating cheer.
"Wow… We totally saved a village from an oil tanker spill, guys!" Ruby chirped, her silver eyes sparkling. "Wasn't that great?"
Yang Xiao Long shot her sister a withering glare, her blonde hair singed at the ends. "Yes… Except for the part where the tanker blew up in our faces."
"I said I was sorry!" Ruby pouted, her voice defensive. "I didn't use just the right mixture of Dust!"
Nora, skipping beside Ren, grinned maniacally. "But it sure was awesome to watch it explode, right guys? Right guys?"
Pyrrha Nikos, her crimson hair matted with grime, fixed Nora with a cold stare over her extremely brittle smile.
"…I'm not talking to you for a week."
Ren sighed, his voice a weary murmur. "Nora…"
Jaune Arc, carrying a twitching Weiss Schnee in his arms, shook his head.
"No pancakes for a month, Nora."
Nora's jaw dropped, her turquoise eyes wide. "What?! COME ON! We saved the village!"
"Yeah!" Jaune snapped, his voice strained. "And we got blown up instead!"
Ruby crossed her arms, her voice petulant. "It wasn't
that bad!"
"It was," Yang said, her tone flat.
"It was worse," Blake Belladonna added, her amber eyes dull with fatigue.
Weiss, clinging to Jaune, shuddered, her voice a high-pitched whine. "S-So… So much filth… So much dirt…!"
Jaune's voice was soothing, though his own exhaustion was clear. "We're almost there, Weiss, it's okay…"
Yang's eyes narrowed, her voice teasing but edged. "Why aren't you carrying
me, your sweet, loving fiancée?"
Blake's tail flicked, her voice dry. "Or me? Your
actual fiancée?"
Pyrrha's voice was a sharp hiss, her patience gone. "Neither of you are his fiancées, shut up!"
Jaune sighed, his shoulders slumping. "Because she won't let go of me."
"Ruby!" Weiss wailed, her grip tightening. "So filthyyyyy!"
"If you didn't charge in stupidly-
again-You wouldn't be filthy!" Ruby moaned.
"I'm not stupid! You blew up the tanker!"
Jaune groaned, his voice pleading. "Guys, let's just get to the common room, take some showers, go to bed, and—"
He pushed open the door to the common room and froze. Both teams blinked, their jaws dropping at the sight before them. The room was spotless, every surface gleaming, the air fragrant with lavender and lemon. Birds flitted about, organizing books and papers, while raccoons and deer swept the floors with tiny brooms. At the center of it all stood a beautiful blonde woman in a yellow dress and apron, humming a cheerful tune as she polished a table.
"Lalala, lalalala—Oh! Jaune!" The woman's face lit up, and she rushed forward, enveloping Jaune in a hug, heedless of his filth.
Jaune's voice was a stunned stammer. "L-Lilac?!"
Pyrrha's eyebrow twitched, her voice dangerously calm. "Who is this, Jaune?"
Jaune, still trapped in the hug, managed a weak smile. "Oh, uh, this is my big sister, Lilac. Lilac Arc."
Weiss groaned, her voice muffled against Jaune's chest. "Another one?"
Lilac stepped back, her blue eyes sparkling with warmth. "Oh, you poor dears! Quickly now, quickly!"
Before anyone could react, the birds, mice, and other creatures swarmed them, wiping away the worst of the muck with tiny washcloths. Ruby yelped, "ACK!" Nora squealed, "EEP!" Weiss gasped, "What?!" Blake muttered, "Huh?!" Yang shouted, "HEY!" Pyrrha stammered, "Wha—?!" and Ren simply said, "Huh?"
The critters scurried off, depositing their cloths in a laundry bag, leaving the teams marginally cleaner but utterly bewildered.
Lilac beamed, her voice bright. "There, much better! Now, you all get into the showers! The baths have been drawn, and the temperature should be perfect!"
Ruby's face flushed, her voice a squeak. "Ah… Um… W-We all… bathe together?"
Everyone went bright red, save Ren, who cocked an eyebrow, his expression unfazed.
Lilac's smile was serene, oblivious to the tension. "Of course! You're all good boys and girls, and you should save water! But if you don't hurry, you'll miss dinner!" She winced. "Um, if you're hungry that is? I can just pack it up for later, if you'd like?"
The aroma of a feast wafted from the stove, where a rabbit diligently stirred pots, its ears twitching. Jaune's smile was genuine, if tired. "Thanks, Lilac. We appreciate it."
"Awww!" Lilac said, pinching his cheek with a happy smile. "I'm always willing to help my cute, kind, strong little brother! Now go get cleaned up please!"
In the bathroom, the teams split by gender, the girls staring one way, the boys another, as they scrubbed away the day's grime in awkward silence. Pyrrha, wrapped in a towel, broke the tension, her voice tentative. "So, um… She seems very nice?"
Ruby, scrubbing her hair, nodded eagerly. "Yeah! And her Semblance lets her control animals?"
Jaune, from the other side of the partition, sighed. "No, she's… just like that. She's so kind and nice that almost anything will obey her."
Yang snorted, her voice dripping with skepticism. "That's just ridiculous!"
Jaune's voice was dry. "Then why aren't we trying to peek at each other?"
A long, guilty silence followed. Ruby's voice was a nervous squeak. "Trying implies that I failed!"
"RUBY!" Yang barked, her voice echoing off the tiles as Jaune went bright red.
Clean and dressed in casual clothes, the teams emerged to find a feast laid out on the common room tables—roast meats, steaming vegetables, fresh bread, and desserts that gleamed like jewels. Lilac stood at the head, her smile radiant, as she gestured for them to sit. "Oh, good! Come on, let's eat!"
Ruby tilted her head, her voice curious. "Where did your animal friends go?"
"Oh, they're around!" Lilac said cheerfully, "But most of them headed off. Except for this little bandit!" She scooped up Zwei and cuddled him. "They don't like spending too much time indoors. Except for you, you cuddly wuddly little doggie woggie! Yes, yes you do!"
Zwei panted happily, looking up at Lilac with adoration.
"Wait, he's been here the whole time?" Yang asked. Lilac beamed.
"Yup! He's been such a cute little puppy-wuppy! Aren't you, you little sweetie?" She nuzzled Zwei. "Here you go, have a doggie treat!"
"He only eats our special treats," Ruby said, "So we'll just have to-"
Lilac held out a treat, and Zwei chomped it down happily. He barked happily and Lilac giggled.
"Have another!"
Zwei chowed down another happily.
Jaune chuckled, his voice gentle. "Easy, Lilac, easy."
"Mm? OH! Sorry!" Lilac said, handing Zwei back to Yang and Ruby. "Didn't mean to make you jealous! He's really very loyal!"
Zwei whined, squirming toward Lilac, earning glares from his owners.
Yang and Ruby scowled, muttering in unison, "Traitor."
"Arf," Zwei said, unrepentant.
The teams sat, Yang and Blake flanking Jaune, Pyrrha and Ruby across from him, Weiss with Nora and Ren. Lilac doled out food, whistling her tune, then sat at the head and bowed her head.
"Let's say grace!" Lilac said, her voice bright.
Blake's tail flicked, her voice flat. "I'm not a believer."
"Oh, I'm sorry!" Lilac said, undeterred. "Is it okay if I pray for you anyway?"
Blake blinked, her voice softening.
"I… Sure?"
Lilac beamed like the sun.
Ren's voice was calm.
"I'm a believer in Pathism."
"Oh," Lilac said, her smile widening. "Can I pray for you too, then?"
"Yes?" Ren said, his tone cautious.
"Wonderful!" Lilac said, clapping her hands. "Anyone else? I don't want to offend anyone's beliefs… Sorry if I wasn't more considerate."
Her regretful expression seared guilt into everyone's hearts.
"N-No! No, we're all fine!" Pyrrha quickly insisted.
"How does she do that?" Blake muttered in a bit of envy.
"We really have no idea," Jaune muttered.
Nora's voice was a gleeful shout.
"I believe in pancakes!"
Lilac's eyes twinkled, her voice gentle.
"But dear, why believe in pancakes and not the one who makes them for you?"
Nora gasped, her eyes wide.
"I never thought of it that way! REN! YOU'RE MY GOD!"
"Not what I think she was getting at," Ren's said dryly.
"Oh!" Nora said, nodding sagely. "You're right, Jaune makes me pancakes too! Hrrrrmmm… Miss Lilac? I have a theological issue!"
"Can we talk about it after we pray and eat?" Lilac said, her smile unwavering.
"Works for me!" Nora cheered.
Jaune sighed, rubbing his temples. Lilac bowed her head and folded her hands, her voice warm. "Thank you, Heavenly Emperor, for this meal, good friends, and wonderful company! And may Jaune and his friends triumph in the Vytal Tournament! But without anyone getting hurt too badly, um, if you please? Amen!"
The teams dug in, the food melting on their tongues, each bite a revelation. Yang's voice was soft, almost reverent.
"Lilac? This is amazing!"
"Oh, thank you!" Lilac said with a modest blush she tried to cover with her hands. "But we all cooked back home! Jaune included!"
"Ah, but you taught me a lot Sis," Jaune said with a smile. At the looks from his friends (particularly the female ones), he coughed and added: "I'm nowhere near as good as you."
"Oh, don't be so modest, Jaune!" Lilac said, waving a hand. "You'll get better! I can teach you! If you'd like."
Ruby's eyes widened, her voice awed. "B-Better…?"
Yang licked her lips and eyed Jaune up as much as she had the food. Pyrrha and Blake were quick to follow suit, as Jaune gulped.
Weiss took a deep breath, her voice trembling with sincerity. "It's… incredibly good."
"Aw, thank you!" Lilac said, beaming.
Pyrrha nodded, her voice warm even as her eyes were locked on Jaune. "Yes, it's wonderful!"
Blake's voice was quiet but genuine. "It is extremely good. Thank you."
Nora's eyes sparkled, her voice ecstatic. "Wow… Like hugs on my tongue!"
Ren's tone was measured but appreciative. "Yes, it is very good."
"You're all very welcome!" Lilac said, her smile radiant. "Especially Jaune's wonderful fiancées! I'm so glad you'll be joining our family!"
Weiss's fork froze, her voice sharp. "Wait—Fiancées
plural?!"
"Yes!" Lilac said, her voice bubbling with excitement. "I mean, Nana Arturia said you were marrying little Ruby, and Great-Aunt Morgana said you were marrying Miss Nikos, and Mrs. Xiao-Long came by to yell and scream at Mom about you getting engaged to her great-granddaughter Yang, and Uncle Phillip told us that Miss Yoruichi said you were engaged to Miss Belladonna—So welcome to the family!"
Jaune's voice was a panicked stammer. "I—Hang on—!"
"Oh, don't worry about a thing, Jaune!" Lilac said, patting his head. "Aren't you lucky, four wives! You'll have a lot of work to do, huh?" She winked. "Don't worry! I'll help out with the babies! I do love babies, they're so cute!"
"N-No, we're not really—!" Jaune tried, his face blazing red.
"Mom and Dad are going to be thrilled when they visit and meet all the parents!" Lilac said, her voice gleeful as she hugged him tightly.
Jaune's voice was a horrified shout. "THEY'RE WHAT?!"
Ruby gasped, her eyes wide. "I'm engaged too?!"
Pyrrha's gasp was delighted, her voice dreamy. "I'm engaged to Jaune?!"
Yang chuckled, her voice teasing but warm. "Oh, well, um, eheh, yeah! Totally!"
Blake's eyes were glinting with desperation. "I'M ALSO PREGNANT!"
Jaune's voice cracked, his hands flailing.
"BLAAAKE!"
"HOORAY! BABIES!" Lilac cheered.
Weiss scowled, her voice bitter as she scratched Zwei's ears, the dog whining in her lap.
"…Why didn't anyone lie about
me being engaged to Arc?"
Zwei yipped, nuzzling her, and Weiss sighed.
"At least
you're here for me."
"Arf," Zwei opined. Weiss blushed deeply.
"I am not jealous…" Weiss muttered, as Lilac giggled over Jaune's fretting and the antics of the others.
