[RWBY] RWBY Shorts

[RustedSands]

Now we just need a chap of Mia being scared of cats

 

[ThunderBasilisk]

Man Blake being such a stereotype is never not funny

 

[TheFabulousCustodes]

Jaune turned, the ice in his expression melting instantly as he took her into his arms. "They're just very protective of you, kitten."

Mia hugged his neck and mumbled, "They're silly."

The White Fang grunts could only whimper in agreement.

These people were, without question, completely insane.

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Isn't this the second time she's been kidnapped by the White Fang?

 

[AndrewJTalon]

Isn't this the second time she's been kidnapped by the White Fang?

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These chapters are more jokey omakes but yes.

 

[KarasAdamas]

Ruby: "We'll stop you."
Salem: "Your mother said...wait, hold up, you're Summer Rose's daughter? I thought she was a lesbian."
Ruby: "Wha...no! Mom was married to dad and she had me!"
Salem: "I'm relatively certain futa is just a genre of Mistrali pornography, no matter what that green-haired simp Cinder keeps around believes."
Ruby: "ICK! NO! My dad's Taiyang and Mom wasn't like that!"
Salem: "By the Dark Brother, you mean she was just using the poor man to hide her affair with Branwen? I knew she looked shifty!"
Yang: "Stop talking about our mom, you witch!"
Salem: "I'll talk however I - by the dark pools, another sapphic stereotype? First the edgelord gangster, now a biker? What's next, an otome-"

Salem stares at Weiss

Salem: "An otome princess and a genki autist, and a biker with a bookworm. Is this some new tactic by Ozma? To defeat me with yuri stereotypes?"
Blake: "How do you even know that word?"
Salem: "You'd be surprised at what I know, Kageneko#0119. Your writing is garbage, by the way. Absolute guttertrash."
Blake: *ears flatten*
Yang: *heroically stands in front of Blake*
Salem: "Oh hell no, I'm leaving before I end up kidnapping one of you in some twisted romance plot. That seems to be all the rage nowadays."

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This one is hilarious and should be expanded into a snippet. I've always been a fan of Shut-In Salem who's addicted to gaming and the internet.

 

[Bofors40mm]

This one is hilarious and should be expanded into a snippet. I've always been a fan of Shut-In Salem who's addicted to gaming and the internet.

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Probably results in Cinder being brutally executed if she breaks long range communication as per her canon plan

 

[AndrewJTalon]

The Beacon RWBY common room had turned into a war zone.

Not with Grimm. Not with training. But with four very dangerous young women who all had very good reasons (in their minds) to fight one Jaune Arc.

Yang slammed her fist on the table. "I'm telling you, we train him up first! Then we fight him! That's the Mandalorian way! You don't just murder a Jedi in his sleep! You test your mettle against him when he's at his strongest! Fighting a real Jedi is awesome!"

Ruby nodded so hard her hood flopped. "Yeah! And then after we beat him, we can… you know… keep him. He'd make really good breeding stock for the clan!"

Weiss's eye twitched. "Excuse me?! We get him? He's far more valuable to the Nightsisters! Our grudge against the Jedi goes back centuries! Plus he's tall, healthy, and has that ridiculous golden aura! Perfect genetic material! He could sire an entire generation of force-sensitive warriors!"

Yang pointed at her. "He's Mandalorian breeding stock now! Ruby and I called dibs!"

Ruby raised her hand like she was in class. "I agree with Yang! He's ours!"

Pyrrha, who had been quietly sipping tea in the corner like a proper lady, finally set her cup down with a soft clink.

All three turned to look at her.

Pyrrha smiled. It was the same gentle, perfect smile she showed the world every day.

Except her eyes were glowing faintly red.

"As a Sith," she said calmly, "I am superior to all of you. The Sith have fought the Jedi for thousands of years. Longer than your Mandalorian clans. Longer than your Nightsister covens. Jaune Arc is not only a Jedi, he's a descendant of Arturia Pendragon and Shirou Arc, two of the mightiest warriors on this planet. He belongs with me. He will join the Dark side. He will rule beside me. And together, we will bring the galaxy to its knees."

The room went dead silent.

Then Yang snorted. "Yeah, good luck with that, Cereal Girl. He's too nice to go full Sith."

Ruby nodded. "He still says 'please' when he asks for extra cookies."

Weiss crossed her arms. "And he blushes when you hold his hand. Some dark lord he'd make."

Pyrrha's smile never wavered. "He simply hasn't been properly… persuaded yet."

The argument exploded again, louder than before.

- - -

In the quiet common room across the hall, four people were enjoying a perfectly normal evening.

Jaune was sprawled on the couch with a book. Nora was upside-down in an armchair, eating cereal straight from the box. Ren sat beside her, calmly sipping tea. Blake was curled up on the opposite couch with her latest novel, scowling at Jaune every so often.

Nora suddenly sat up (still upside-down). "Hey Jaune! Can you mind control people to give me candy?"

Jaune didn't even look up from his book. "Yes… but I won't. Stealing is wrong."

Nora pouted. "Phooey!"

Blake scowled over the top of her book. "I'm a former terrorist, you know."

Jaune finally glanced up and gave her a warm, genuine smile. "Well, I'm glad you've turned over a new leaf."

Blake's ears flattened. "I hate you."

Jaune blinked, genuinely hurt. "What?!"

Ren took another sip of tea, the tiniest smirk tugging at the corner of his mouth.

From the hallway, the distant sounds of four girls screaming at each other echoed through the dorm.

Nora tilted her head. "Should we… do something about that?"

Jaune sighed and went back to his book. "They'll figure it out eventually. Probably."

Blake muttered into her novel, "I hope they kill each other first."

"That's terrible, Blake," Jaune gasped.

"Oh now you care!" Blake huffed.

"I always care!"

"Shut up!"

Ren's smirk grew just a fraction wider.

 

[Tenno]

From the hallway, the distant sounds of four girls screaming at each other echoed through the dorm.

Nora tilted her head. "Should we… do something about that?"

Jaune sighed and went back to his book. "They'll figure it out eventually. Probably."

Blake muttered into her novel, "I hope they kill each other first."

"That's terrible, Blake," Jaune gasped.

"Oh now you care!" Blake huffed.

"I always care!"

"Shut up!"

Ren's smirk grew just a fraction wider.

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Ren - " Just like my mistralian anime's"

 

[LordofBones]

Jaune discovers his semblance early on and Ren helps him experiment with it. Nobody, least of all Team RWBY, is prepared for Ren the Hidden Ninja oneshotting every single combatant with a bellow of "SNEAK ATTACK!"

 

[ThunderBasilisk]

God Jedi Jaunes such a Himbo and I love it.

Weiss crossed her arms. "And he blushes when you hold his hand. Some dark lord he'd make."

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Hey now that's some seriously depraved shit Weiss. You know damn well not even this darkest of siths would hold someones hand let alone interlock fingers.