SHINOBI: The RPG - New Game

So... I've been racking my brain to come up with what hobbies a less mission/training obsessed Daisuke would fill his free time with, and I think I've got something. Foodie. Consider that his initial sealing experiment was making chocolate milk, that in the old draft one of his just for fun actions was bringing pineapple into existence, and that Konoha has access to some of the most diverse and plentiful food resources of the elemental nations.

Most importantly though, it creates a jumping off point for the audience to create food omakes that can easily be made canon at any time, boosting the mood of the thread, and introducing people to stuff they may not have tried. Observe.
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Croque Madame

The hardest ingredient to find was the Gruyere cheese, but Konoha's market was thankfully up to the task.

Preparations began with a simple bechamel, white gravy, with just a little salt, and a LOT of pepper. This was followed by grating a truly hilarious amount of gruyere cheese. From there it was on to construction in a nice hot skillet.

Simply butter and toast up a couple slices of a nice thick, crusty loaf of bread. First layer of the sandwhich was a generous coating of bechamel. Second was a the first pile of gruyere set to melt. Third was a healthy serving of sliced ham. Fourth was the second pile of gruyere. Fifth was the other buttery toasted bread with a slathering of the bechamel on both sides, but it still wasn't done.

Sixth was the last pile of Gruyere to melt over it all, and finally seventh was a simple fried egg with a runny yolk to amp the rich savory flavor to the max. A truly powerful breakfast option.
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Okay that was the first attempt at a food omake. I went for an impersonal writing style, because convincingly conveying the mannerisms of a character you didn't create, and haven't written for is hard. Hopefully it's the start of something beautiful.

 

Less of an Omake than it is a semi-serious theoretical ramble, but summoning jutsu without a contract is a fascinating look at both how someone is characterized, as well as how the given author characterizes the animals in question.

Naruto is primarily a good-natured prankster with severe loneliness, boundless energy, and with a touch of darker emotions like jealousy.

A good pairing to that would be foxe- WAIT don't scroll past while rolling eyes on the typecast I'm going somewhere with foxes.

If we bring foxes as depicted in Japanese mythology, where Naruto as an anime gets MOST of its references, we stumble on the trickster foxes known as kitsune.

Like Naruto, mischief and pranks are their bread and butter. Like Naruto would very much benefit from kitsune are often depicted as fiercely loyal to those they form close bonds with, and breed in large numbers with fluffy tails, doting personalities, and emotional support. They also have a ruthless streak a mile wide, because foxes breed quickly enough to naturally outpace their common food sources. This leads them to view the kits of OTHER foxes as simultaneously a food source, and the removal of competition for their own kits.

This is interesting from a character standpoint, because it gives Naruto everything he wants, but also encourages both the best, and worst parts of his personality at the same time.

This is interesting from a mechanical standpoint, because it allows the presence of foxes in story who are actually good at things they're generally depicted as being good at as opposed to just big shows of power with no subtlety.

Again foxes are all about pranks and deception, which is borne out by kitsune unilaterally being good at things that would be called genjutsu in ninja parlance. Illusions, mind effecting of various flavors, improving one's own senses, and direct sensory manipulation of others.... you know the whole nine yards. Yes illusions and sensory manipulation are different. You can make a clone jutsu that looks like you that everyone sees. That's an illusion. Putting an image of yourself overlaid on someone's senses, that is specific to them, is sensory manipulation.

Getting back on point why is this good with Naruto specifically as opposed to just correcting a horrific wrong of fox portrayal? Their skill set natively fills the deepest hole in Naruto's skill set. It would also give him access to be terrifying effective at the only discipline Daisuke almost completely neglects which would only make it more attractive to him.

As for if he'd get in? Kitsune are pragmatic, alarmingly intelligent, observant, and self-serving. He has the highest chakra reserves for his age of most any human alive, looks like the child doppelganger of his father the late hokage, has status as the container of Kyuubi as the worst kept secret of all time, and has active ambitions to become the ruler of one of the strongest human nations. What self-respecting, self-serving mastermind wouldn't want to get on his good side, help him reach his goal in any way possible, and proceed to have the ear of one of the most powerful people alive?

Naturally they don't open with looking that cynical. Friendship, cuddles, free training, the benefits of partnership, and all that good shit. The loyalty I mentioned earlier would even be legitimate. Relationships that start for transactional reasons are still relationships, and kitsune can be relied upon to keep the spirit of deals with people they form relationships with.

 

Thinking back and looking ahead.

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I want to type something about the fic. Updates have been slow to non-existant because, once my monetization was gone, I felt like I was finally able to take a much needed vacation from writing. My batteries are slowly recharging, and that means updates down the line.

In Act 2, I had a lot of things set up for Daisuke to wreck the world. But then Daisuke got over his issues and he rejoined Konoha in the biggest climactic let down of the century. I kind of want to go over why I think things happened that way.

Also, apologies if you guys are getting tired of me being endlessly self-critical. I'm trying to piece things together because there's stuff I need to figure out, so these are my thoughts.

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Reason 1: Plans without synergy

The big conceit of act 2 was that I wanted Daisuke to become the bad guy. In order for Act 2 to work, Daisuke had to be the antagonist.

The reason for this was simple; Daisuke was too powerful. He had a Green Lantern Ring without any drawbacks. I knew, even back when I was first writing this fic, that this was how it was going to have to be. And it was going to be fine because Naruto would become the hero and bring Daisuke back down, convince him to stay and trigger the grand reveal of Act 2's finale. Act 2 was planned and built with Daisuke being a background force spending almost all of his time working on getting home. Act 2 was meant to have Daisuke become the BBEG (from Konoha's perspective) and force Naruto on the start of his heroes journey.

Well, if you were around before the first round of rewrites, you know how this turned out. It...was bad. Really, really bad. I tried to rush through things because I was letting my critics get to me. I was hoping to address all their complaints and finally finish act 1 (which I was beyond tired of) so I could get to the point of it all.

Now, looking back on it, I was not ready to write a shift this drastic. I was neither competent enough, nor emotionally resilient enough, to write it. I was hoping to examine every potential failing of a gamer fic. Act 1 was how min-maxing can screw you over. Act 2 was how a homesick SI would do everything in his power (even though he was tilting at windmills with that) to return home. Act 3 was how the SI would react to someone else like him trying to destroy everything he cared about.

I wanted to rock the heavens of SI-dome. I wanted to rip the whole concept apart and lay bare it's concepts for the world to see and condescend down with me. What happened was that my pride brought about my downfall. I was not nearly good enough, not nearly patient enough, not nearly wise enough, attempt a deconstruction on that scale.

I cannot tell you how much I loathe my first attempt at this fic for this exact reason.

However, when I started writing Act 2, Daisuke began taking more and more of a front seat until, well, I fixed my crap. Daisuke letting go was me letting go and then...well, we come to the next part.

Reason 2: Daisuke was weak.

Daisuke, in a way, is a deconstruction of an SI. At least, in the first draft. At the time of writing, I was a lazy, good for nothing person whose only redeeming attribute was that he could write moderately well. So Daisuke...embodies that. He was lazy. He had no problem solving ability, or even initiative (hello, Charisma stat!) and he had an uncanny ability to get people to like him for no reason. The only reason Daisuke was ever a good Ninja was because of the Game System. If he didn't have the game system, its likely that he never would've even considered being a Ninja and instead would've wound up doing...something. I don't know what. But he wouldn't be a Ninja. Too much dedication, too much risk of dying. Too much not being godlike.

Now take someone like this, someone who mostly does what he's told, whose main defense mechanism is to shut people away, and give him aspirations to change the world?

You know what happens?

He gives up and goes back to whats comfortable.

Let me reiterate.

He gives up.

This was the other reason why Daisuke had to be consigned to be a background character. I knew, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that if I focused on him for any length of time, my Daisuke as Villain paradigm would fall apart so fast I wouldn't have a fic. Its why or rather, how, Daisuke got over his stuff. Daisuke was pulled away from his support structures and soon crumbled and then wound up thinking that changing the world isn't all that good of a goal simply because he doesn't want to be in charge. He doesn't want to be in charge because he didn't have the will to actually see his designs for the world brought to fruition, didn't want to be blamed for the collateral damage his revolution would cause, didn't want to be at fault if he wound up making things worse.

Shimoda Daisuke was weak. Weak enough that a single heart to heart at the end of Act 2 would've snapped him out of villain-hood. Weak enough that he couldn't carry a story without his social issues burdening him.

Reason 3: Mitarashi Anko

Listen, the only reason Daisuke got married to Anko instead of Ino was because Daisuke is an adult in the center. A man-child, but a man. He's an adult and wants adult things from his relationships; and he saw Ino as a child. That sent all kinds of signals to me that it was wrong on every level imaginable so I...cheated. Anko was psychologically vulnerable and willing enough to give Daisuke what he needed when he really needed that emotional closeness after having spent so much time independent and walled off. Luckily for her, Daisuke was fairly benign and I would like to think they'd make a good match up. Cringe-y dialogue, sure, especially at the start (which I maintain was because they were trying to find their footing and thus was only natural; they just had no shame because there was nothing to be ashamed or bashful of - they were married for pete's sake), but a good matchup.

But ultimately; it came down to this. Daisuke wanted sex and Anko was the best match up that didn't send his conscience into a death spiral. Anko needed emotional connection and Daisuke came offering it on levels she'd never experienced before. Then you add in Ninshu and the fact that they are actually fairly compatible and you have a surprising recipe for a completely unnatural but happy and long-lasting marriage.

At least, I certainly hope so.

The main reason this was so jarring was because Hisako and Ino had much, much more screen time and Anko didn't have much characterization before suddenly being Daisuke's wife. This draft is already fixing that by setting them up early and quickly. If Hisako and Ino want to prove to Daisuke that they can be his...concubines (I don't like that word), they'll need to prove that they're adult enough to handle an adult relationship.

...come to think of it, why am I putting a harem in this fic when I find that concept so distasteful? Actually, why do I find that concept so distasteful? Mathematically, it's best for humanities gene pool. Questions for later.

Reason 4: Jashin and Shinigami.

When I abandoned the Daisuke as Villain paradigm (something I still wonder if I should've), I needed a conflict that could contend with Daisuke being a god. Enter Jashin and Shinigami. Since the three were immortal, they were always going to be at a constant stalemate. There was no winning in their conflict. Jashin decided that since Daisuke was wrecking the Tobi-Madara-Kaguya bomb he'd been poking and prodding for centuries, that he'd wreck Konoha by becoming Naruto's surrogate mentor. Honestly, I like these two, but some people mentioned that they didn't like them because they didn't see how a decisive victory was possible; I realized that, well, that was the point. When you get past a certain point, the world becomes a game and then the only thing to do when someone wins is to set up another game.

...wait, I think I might've stumbled upon why they've stuck around in the new draft. Their appearance having been sped up because I realized that a reincarnate person would be of great, almost obsessive, interest to the Shinigami and Jashin would then follow suit because it's something new and their game has hit a stalemate (their game being kind of like real world monopoly, Jashin being the only one really playing and Shinigami exclusively being the banker). So they're just waiting for things to explode and suddenly, there's the child of prophecy and...a reincarnated person slaved to a game system that warps how the world is supposed to run.

Seriously, if it weren't for Daisuke, Jashin was perfectly fine just watching Naruto plod along per canon with a smile on his face and a bucket of popcorn. But then Daisuke's very existence changed things and arguably made them worse.

Actually, making things worse somehow is a thing for a lot of my SI's. Wonder why that is?

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Thank you for accompanying me on my ramblings on the story. I still hope that one day I'll be able to finish this thing so we can all read it and enjoy it.

Until the next time.

~Fulcon

 

Alright, so as many of you know, I'm a League of Legends player. Not so much as I used to be, but I still enjoy a game here and again. The game has a lot of excellent music attached to it, stuff that I actually use to get me in the mood for writing. Most of this music was composed for the login screens; animated wall papers you'd get to see before logging into the game. I personally was a huge fan, though Riot themselves stopped making them.

So in the interest of sharing, I'm posting a few champion themes that bring some of the characters in my fic to life. In my head. They help inspire me, is what I'm trying to say.

And, of course, I'd be very remiss if I didn't include the AMV that inspired a great deal of the first draft and allowed me to write the grand majority of it.

Kakashi - My Demons.

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I'll be honest with you, I hadn't even thought about this. English is my only language, so I really don't have a lot of, well, context to how difficult English can be to learn. So I really appreciate the time you took to point all this out to help with story fodder because it painted an anticipatory smile on my face if Daisuke ever gets the chance to teach Konoha English.

Hehehehehehehehehe...

Have a cookie.

 

I've just had a terrifying realization. Humans are just featherless penguins.

We often propose to each other with unusually smooth rocks, we're one of the most aggressive fish predators, we've obsessed over finding ways to travel while laying on our stomachs, and we ARE adapted to multiple days in a row walking if necessary. We even have native adaptation for every form of travel but flying which we're really fucking salty about.

And like all birds we're obsessed with shiny things.

 

Hah! I can see that causing some very confusing result:

"Wow, that guy looks hideous, like someone slapped people colored paint on an amateur's statue."

"Are you blind?! He's the most gorgious man I have ever seen!"

"...are you two listening to yourselves, it just looks like a naked teenager to me... why are we looking a naked teenager anyways... is it a genutsu?!"

"What the hell is with these charisma rolls 1/10 Fail, 10/1 Success 5/5 success? I just want to enjoy the hotsprings damn it."

 

Anko was a board. That wasn't just a mistake or a turn of phrase. Sure she was bored, but... no, right now she was more than that. She was a board.

Frankly, it was a miracle it hadn't happened sooner considering the place she frequented on missions. Plenty of different opportunities to imitate wood planks, whether it be bamboo, pine, or mahogany. It just hadn't occurred to her until today. Sure the first half of the missions had gone well it a bit of a hair-pulling exercise but nowhere near as bad as tonight.

It wouldn't have even occurred to her if it wasn't for her observing That Girl and him being way too nice in her regard.

Following Daisuke, watching Daisuke, and not interfering for a week had been wearing on her sanity. Gai and Lee's exuberance was the start. Kakashi's lack of emotion made it worse. Watching Daisuke take on the bandits had been quite interesting. But it was afterward that drove her off onto the metaphorical plank.

He had to be nice.

Daisuke was nice to that ironing board-chested girl as he drank her tea respectfully. Drank it while politely fighting off the advances of that idea stealing saw dust-brained Hisako.

Briefly (just briefly!) she had wanted that girl to have poisoned him with rue or something just so she would have an excuse to interfere. But no the girl wasn't a yandere, so Anko just had to watch and mull over how to one-up that log of a kunoichi.

Everyone has a moment of weakness, and that was Anko's. It gave her motivation though.

Brushing up on her tea ceremony skills was going to have to take up a lot of her time now. Maybe even one or two kage bunshin to assist. Her usual just wouldn't cut it.

The only upside was she could read Icha Icha Paradise from over Kakashi's shoulder. Even if it was a re-read.

But every now and then her mission would take precedence.

After scaring the third green-clad noble half to death, Anko decided to try another tactic. Henge no jutsu sure was useful but it was times like these that she really, really, really hated its utility and flexibility.

First, it was taking on the log-chan's form. It made seducing the second green clad man she had found easy. Then it was taking on the form of a log... to roll her way stealthy in watch of the fourth green adorned fellow. Now? Now this situation took the cake or foot as the case may be.

Which was why she was now a bored floorboard in a pub tracking down the latest lead of another green-wearing individual. Though unfortunately, it was looking like it was another bust.

Only this time enui was denied to her from the pressure on her back and being forced to watch her target.

Just some insane drunk who kept claiming he was a literal god of death. For the last ten minutes, he had spent his time throwing back cheap shots of sake and building a hideously huge chain reacting puzzle made of chopsticks, shot glasses, and various other objects from around the pub.

He had guaranteed it would kill someone with its awesomeness.

How that was possible Anko couldn't see it. Not a single pointy object was used in its construction. In fact, the only redeeming attribute of either the contraption or the man was that it driving the foreign perv who was standing on top of her nuts. He kept muttering about mob spawn entity limits and it interfering with 'Console' whatever it was.

Frankly, the only person dying tonight was Anko. If only she had an excuse to interfere, then, perhaps she wouldn't have been board to death.

A/N
Badum tish! Okay not that funny but someone did practically dare me to write an omake.

 

what is daisukes other nature? he may as well develop a kekkei genkai with it



if his second nature is fire, like its statistics most likely he would probably get some sort of plasma release, which would be interesting since plasma has way more interesting properties then "be really hot"

it can be used in things like lightsabers, atomic explosions, very precise cutting, plasma can also separate the atoms of things that come in contact with it, making it for a small version of particle style

plasma is also extremely corrosive, which actually make a lot of sense as the opposite fire element is lava style witch accounts for acid jutsu

then there is the combination of both wind and lightning, which I'm calling thunder release since there already is a lightning and storm release

it could be a style focused on the use of atmospheric electricity, with Kirin being one of the principal techniques.

You could also be subtle about it, using static electricity to spy on people like Garaa does with sand, making you the equivalent of a sensor type ninja

it may also give you access to other electromagnetic abilities that aren't available for either magnet release or storm release.

storm release is unlikely due to his aforementioned lack of wind chakra

and explosion style is extremely rare in its natural form, with Diedara's version being a bastardization that required extensive modification to use

 

Behold! The internal rating system I use to rank Daisuke's abilities; bask in their numerical glory!

Genin - Levels 1 - 10, Skills 0 - 20.

Chunin - Levels 11 - 20, Skills 21 - 40.

Jounin - levels 21 - 30, Skills 41 - 60.

Kage - levels 31 - 40, Skills 61 - 80.

Chosen Ones - Levels 41 - 50, Skills 81 - 100.

So his Chakra Control is Chosen One, Taijutsu is upper Kage and everything else is around Chunin.

Except for stealth.

That is solidly upper Genin, which is pathetic compared to Nichiren and Hisako who are both phenomenally talented at it.

That, and Kakashi had high standards for Infiltration.

 

To reiterate what has already been said.

In the elemental nations, legal adult is Genin. Back in feudal japan, which Naruto is heavily based on, people got married and had kids as early as twelve. You won't find this sort of thing in the manga itself, for obvious reasons, but it is logical that it'd be there, especially with the constant wars whittling the global populations down.

In real life, my go two example is Ghandi, who got married at 13. Also in real life, the age of consent around the world fluctuates. In Sweden, for instance, it's fifteen. In Japan, the much more topical area, it's 13. Granted, it's thirteen on the US equivalent of the Federal Level. In the individual prefectures, however, it's different. Tokyo has a limit of 18 but in others, and both of Japan's Territories (Okinatori Islands and Marcus Islands) it's 13. Yeah.

As for real life anecdote, I have heard of a 12 year old having a child in passing. I have not met this girl, but I heard about it from someone I trust.

Disclaimer: I do not condone relationships with minors in real life. My own sisters, who are minors, constantly broadcast through their behavior that they are not ready for any such relationship and any man who comes near them will be summarily executed. This is fiction. Fiction taking inspiration from history, but fiction nonetheless. Relationships with adults are more fun anyway and, if you really need some motivation, there are no laws against having a relationship with a person of adult age whereas a relationship with a minor will get you imprisoned and then murdered.

Thank you for coming to my Ted-talk.

EDIT: My Sauce.