Book 1: Tanya Degurechaff and the Philosopher's Stone
Chapter 1: Ladies and gents! This is the...
Chapter 1: Ladies and gents! This is the...
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User | Total |
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Half_Baked_cat | 30 |
You, ah, forgot a few threadmarks.
I thought I had set up the thread marks. Looks like my mass posting got a like screwy.You, ah, forgot a few threadmarks.
That said, great to see this mirrored here!
So you followed my advice of posting it here and also if you ever plan to make it nsfw simply ask a mod to move it for youI thought I had set up the thread marks. Looks like my mass posting got a like screwy.
Don't think the main story will ever be NSFW, but an Omake might.So you followed my advice of posting it here and also if you ever plan to make it nsfw simply ask a mod to move it for you
the basics were simple enough, but that behind that was a lot more to it than met the eye.
"Emit mana at a waveform of three hundred hertz with an amplitude of five cenna within a flattened ellipsoid with a sharpen great ellipse of less than point one two millimeters in thickness with point zero zero two being a more preferable upper bound."
Ron fell over, his breathing deep and even. Tanya have the sleeping boy a glare.
After another fruitless research binge, Hermione returned to the Common Room with a rough plan of curling up in a warm corner with 'Hogwarts: A History' for some light reading when she saw Tanya writing something down while Harry Harry gave his beautiful snowy owl some attention.
If you want to feel your mana, take it your wand and try to produce sparks without an incantation or wand movements,
"I don't think Tanya and Malfoy would make a good couple. I mean, sure they would look cute next to each other, but Tanya, well, she's Tanya."
Cenna is a made up unit. I originally had magiJoules or something, but was convinced to change it. Cenna is now a unit named after someone involved in magical science.I understood everything but the word cenna. A quick dictionary search leaves me with a vague Gaelic reference to fire, and a belief it's a word from her previous life, that she used for want of an appropriate English word.
friendsWith so few people he could honestly call a friend, each one of them was special to him.
bullyingBullies did not apologize, they just kept being bullied and would only be sneakier about it if they got in trouble.
?With a sigh, Dumbledore began to walk towards the building when the pop of apparition surprised the time with wizard.
remove"Lucius?" Dumbledore cried it in surprise. "What are you doing here?"
speak to the head"We were hoping to speak the head of this orphanage," Dumbledore said, putting a polite foot forwards.
removeThe nun sighed and Dumbledore could feel the sense of resignation coming off of the nun's mind.
resemblanceCombined with her bright blue eyes, she bore a striking appearance to Gellert.
a coincidence
matchedWith the eyes and hair that match Gellert so well, Albus would need to compare facial structure.
Taking a calming breath, Albus went to his pensive and grabbed a bottled memory of his and poured it into the basin.
pensieveWith a wave of his wand over the pensive, two silver faces came out of the basin.
a confrontation would not heal; change to "injury" or something?Gellert's nose was crooked from an earlier confrontation that had not fully healed, but the thin profile and smooth curve was similar to Ms. Degurechaff, as was the high cheek bones both had.
Think you need to rewrite this, since it seemingly establishes that Tanya cannot be a changeling but Albus takes it as her very possibly being one. She has very pale skin, which on its own really doesn't qualify as sickly, but lets give it to him, but the attractive people with fair hair and blue eyes was their target, aka the humans they are attached to, not their disguise (although in the case of being dropped off with parents of those features, it likely would share them, but in this case, Tanya was left at an orphanage, and nothing was done to hide the fact [she wasn't switched out with another kid with nothing being displayed, but left as a new orphan]).Changelings were often sickly looking and the preferred targets were attractive people, particularly those of fair hair and blue eyes.
Albus bit his thumb as he thought and began pacing as he read on. Ms. Degurechaff was unusually pale of skin and her hair was a striking golden hue that made spotting her in a crowd easy. Combined with her bright blue eyes, she bore a striking appearance to Gellert.