So, you have to train with someone.
In order to get tips on how to train yourself.
... That sounds like a deal where you win coming and going. The best kind of deal! Unfortunately, your minions don't see it quite the same without encouragement.
"... And what do we get out of this?" Shonen-girl asks, arms crossed.
"You get to fight a real genin, for one." you say flippantly, waving a hand.
It does not sparkle quite as much as the rest of you. You're going to have to find a way to fix that. You're thinking... gold nail polish. Probably not with real gold in it, because that'll get expensive quickly, but that's something to keep in mind for the future.
"You were thinking something incredibly tasteless just now." Ami accuses.
"Don't be ridiculous." you rebuff. You are the very definition of taste and class. Therefore, everything you do is tasteful and classy by default. That's basic logic for you. "Leaving that aside, where is the afro girl?"
"Kasumi was one of the students that got invited to the medic corps." Ami says, stressing the name as though she thinks that more emphasis will make you care. "You have to remember that they tested everyone's chakra, and while not everyone took them up on it, everyone that had enough control got invited to the medic-nin programs, right?"
That's ridiculous.
"I didn't." you point out.
".... You're an Uchiha." Ami points out in counterpoint. "It doesn't matter if your control was literally perfect, your clan wouldn't let them even try."
Oh, they wouldn't let you do something, is it? You feel a perverse inclination to go look up what it takes to learn healing jutsu.
Shonen-girl sighs deeply.
"Kasumi attends classes, but she also spends a lot of her free time interning at the hospital." she says. "Aside from all the standard ninja education, she needs to pick up advanced anatomy, get a solid understanding of the hospital paperwork, and develop an appropriate bedside manner, among other things."
What you're getting out of that is that you'll have to take part instead of just throwing the minions at the problem. Whatever.
"You still haven't said what we're getting out of this!" Ami snaps.
"Fighting a genin isn't enough? Bonus physical and chakra training, and since they're training tracking, take-downs, and captures you are training withdrawal, fighting retreats, and generally how to escape from bad situations." You bluff. "On top of that, Gai is a jounin, you know? If he's going to help me out, then he's probably got a tidbit or two that he can throw your way, right?"
Ami looks doubtful, but Shonen-girl nods sharply, seeming to find that reasonable enough.
So you don't have to physically drag them to the training ground. Which, while it would have been amusing, would also have been a pain.
Gai is waiting there, along with a young girl and three small dogs. Ah. ... Inuzuka? There's one in your class, but his own puppy is small enough to fit in a hand or pocket.
"Yooooosh! You've arrived!" Gai howls, exuberant. "Ah, but let us not get ahead of ourselves. Before we begin training, why don't you all introduce yourselves? Your name, why you are here, and anything you want to share?"
He looks like he's put some practice into saying that, or something like it. Practicing for taking a genin team? It's a leap of intuition, but not very far-fetched. He's an elite Jounin, so having him focus on teaching for a while means a net loss for the village when he could be taking high-ranking missions, but in return it should produce higher quality genin from his training.
"I, Uchiha Mio, the Golden Devil, am here entirely out of self-interest!" you howl immediately, making no bones about your selfishness. You're here because you want those delicious illusions, and this gets you closer to having them.
"... Fuki." Shonen-girl says. Ami glances her way before she continues. "I like swordplay and sealing jutsu theory. The academy doesn't test over those, though. I'm here to train and develop my body and chakra."
"Haaahg..." Ami groans. "... I have a family name, but as civilians it doesn't mean much. I'm Ami. Remember that. And I'm here because I can't let Fuki get dragged into this idiot's shenanigans on her own!"
"Ho. You're being quite cheeky, minion." You note, mildly approving.
"Since when was it that I entered your service!?" Ami snaps.
"Since the day of your birth. Don't fret. In time, all will come to know my benevolent tyranny." you declare smugly, hands held out to the sides.
".... Did you find me academy students to train with, or just raid a traveling circus?" Dog-girl asks.
"It's the prerogative of the youthful to be boisterous!" Gai declares. "Come! Take a deep breath and shout so the whole world hears your voice!"
"The only Jounin who's really helpful just has to be..." the genin sighs to herself, then waves. "Yo. I'm Inuzuka Hana, and these are the Haimaru brothers. I'm a genin, and I'm training to pass the Chuunin examinations and open up a veterinary clinic."
"A vet?" Ami asks, dubiously.
"Do you have a problem with that? Ninja animals get injured too, and most medical ninja focus on healing humans once their training is done." Hana says, scowling.
Her dogs growl a little, in response to her annoyance, and Gai claps his hands.
"Yosh! Now that we all know each other, let's begin. This training ground is lightly wooded, and approximately one kilometer in diameter, simulating thin forests and trails of the sort that can be found across many countries. I will be waiting at the other end, having marked out a space to represent a 'Safe zone'. The training is to simulate an ambush, both on enemy ninja and from enemy ninja. It's Hana's job to capture the intruders, so that they can be questioned about their intent, and it's your job as the intruders to escape and withdraw from the area now that you've been caught."
Gai claps his hands and disappears. The body-flicker technique, like Shisui's Shunshin...? ... No. That's not a jutsu at all, just pure and overwhelming speed!
Hana grins at the three of you, like a hound that's scented a wounded rabbit.
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