Sirrocco
Tiny but ambitious squid
- Joined
- Apr 12, 2015
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Hey, relax. Have a hug.The original part of the post that created this digression was (i think) a aside about Sakura, which is completely irrelevant so far in the quest, so there is not even a reason for me or you to be mad. Let's just agree to disagree on our definitions of what is important when thinking about decisions. Gezz, the trouble i get into trying to explain my thinking.
It's okay to be wrong on the internet sometimes.
It's okay to admit that you're wrong when you're wrong.
You've just gotten into a long, drawn-out argument in which everyone else involved disagreed with you (and provided cogent arguments about why the way you go about things was wrong) and finished out with a "let's just agree to disagree". That's a sign, and its one you should pay attention to.
In this particular case, it's probably a sign that you stated a few things with a bit more certainty than you actually felt early on, and then, when questioned on them, doubled down because you didn't want to be wrong. Unfortunately, much of the time when you do that, you wind up backing yourself into a corner, because the positions you espouse to defend your initial (relatively weak) stance are even more vulnerable to attack. "Let's just agree to disagree" is pretty much as weak as it gets. It means "I realize that I don't have a compelling argument, but I don't want to have to admit that I'm wrong." It's a lousy place to be, and you have my sympathy.
I'm not saying that you should admit that you're wrong here. I imagine that, as invested as you've gotten in this discussion (and you wouldn't have kept batting it back if you hadn't gotten invested) the very idea is pretty foul to you right now. Once the emotions get engaged to that level, looking back and reconsidering rationally gets to be pretty costly. From an emotional ergs standpoint, it may well not be worth it. For the next time, though, when you toss something out off the top of your head (which we all do) and someone lays into it with actual rational argument, try reconsidering your viewpoint from base principles. Actually question your starting point a bit. If you're wrong, you may be able to figure out that you're wrong before you invest too heavily in a doomed rhetorical position. If you're right, you'll get a clearer idea of the ways in which you are right, which may *also* help you avoid doomed rhetorical positions.
...and for what it's worth, in messageboards like this, you actually get more respect for being able to do the hard work of reconsidering your position from time to time than you do for trying to alpha-male your way through it.
Anyway, you have my sympathy, and I hope you find this helpful. I admit that this is somewhat patronizing, but it's also sincere. (...and for what it's worth, I come by it honestly. I am, in fact, a dad.)