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[X] Crows and a Red Moon.

Changing, bc I want to see Itachi at least once before the big night damn it!
 
[X] Is It Terminal?
 
[X] The Worst Best, most Flamboyant Influence (Anko)
 
Here's a vote tally for so far:
Vote Tally : Twisted Pinwheel | Page 48 | Questionable Questing
##### NetTally 1.7.4
[X] Is it Terminal?
No. of Votes: 21
Winged One
1986ctcel
angelofwhim
Armok
Bobs Beard
Briareus the Gardener
cl20
DuskAtDawn
EvaUnit01
Ferretshock
Grinningmadhatter1
Happerry
Irked
JadeKaiser
Metroidwave
MinorGryph
NoFunposter
Sirrocco
SolipsistSerpent
SpeckofStardust
Ψυχή
[X] Crows and a Red Moon.
No. of Votes: 16
Xicree
asdx
Avalon Du Lac
CrossyCross
Ct613hulu
Fallenblades643
Hyp3rB14d3
Kerfirou
KinKrow
Koled
mc2rpg
Phyllosofer
prandom
Selias
Smyter
Tanor
[X] The Best, most Flamboyant Influence (Anko)
No. of Votes: 5
Plotvitalnpc
Deathwings
Drak4806
macdjord
Valette-Serafina
[X] Dodging Omiai.
No. of Votes: 4
Biigoh
ChandraMagic
Redon
The Nobody
[X] The Worst Best, most Flamboyant Influence (Anko)
No. of Votes: 3
RoninSword
HypoSoc
tenchifew
Total No. of Voters: 49
 
I had no idea how much I needed this in my life.
[x] Is it Terminal?
 
I'm still don't see how Anko instead of Gai is "The Best, most Flamboyant Influence" given it's hard to be more flamboyant than "instant sunset on-demand no jutsu" :p
Mostly just the whole 'introduces herself by kool-aid manning a wall and throwing up her own introductory banner' thing.
 
We must transcend mere mortality and become Dios MIO.
Yep, yep, it's a "My god" pun.
But also a DIO pun.
This is the most wonderful thng i have ever seen. We can all go home now, the internet is done now. All of those memes have done their job. Nothing can ever top that. GG no re.
 
Hoping it's Terminal
You go into things expecting to steal some medical jutsu or something along the way.

Instead, you wind up taking care of sick children even younger than you are.

And they are all shits. Some of it is because they don't feel well and want to spread the misery around, but overall it's like you took the worst, most rambunctious and annoying student in the academy, Naruto, and spread him out across sixty smaller individuals.

And you can't even hit them.

You felt as though you were getting one over on the elders, as you stole some knowledge that they didn't want you to have, but truly... truly this is hell. It's only taken three days to determine this is hell, and could you have the fire instead, please? You're an Uchiha. You can tolerate fire. Metaphorically, anyway.

You're stuck here for a certain amount of time after class, and have to do what the nurses and doctors of the hospital tell you to, but they can't give you instructions if they can't find you. With this in mind, you're currently hiding out in one of the nurse lounges that they're too busy to stop back into to look for you in, trying not to think about how much you would rather be dead than come back again tomorrow so you can get puked on, your hair pulled, have little brats just spontaneously break into tears for no reason, and have to wipe people's butts for them when the flu gives them surprise shits.

Your respect for medical professionals has increased, at least in their ability to restrain themselves from just euthanizing all their patients right away. But you don't want to do this any more. You can't imagine why you ever wanted to do this.

Damn the principal, and Hinata. She's having a fantastic time with her 'equivalent punishment'. The younger students seem to look up to her as a kind of big-sister, and don't hold any grudges about getting knocked out. You saw her smiling and laughing the other day, which was honestly unsettling because like most Hyuuga, Hinata never smiles.

Though her not smiling is more of a dour gloominess than the standard superior brick-like stoicism.

... There's a click as someone sets a bottle of chocolate milk from the nurse cooler in front of you. You look up to the boy who deposited it.

He's dressed in the medical uniform, with an unobtrusive Konoha headband, and smiling lightly. Some kind of 'Cool Senpai' overtures? You're instantly suspicious about his intentions, even if he is a little cute.

"Rough time?" he asks, gently. "I remember my first few days helping out in the hospital. It can only be worse that this is a punishment for you."

"Bite me." you grumble, turning your focus away from messing about with your external Chakra veins and to cracking open and chugging his offering.

He chuckles.

"You get used to it." he says. "I'm Kabuto, and I'm the son of one of the lead surgeons myself... so I wasn't exactly asked my opinion when I found out that I'd been signed up for this either. I'd prefer to be learning offensive ninjutsu, really, but between taking assignments as a Genin and my duties here there never seem to be enough hours in the day to look for instruction..."

Baiting that hook pretty hard, aren't we? You aren't sure what he wants. Could be relatively straightforward, and wants to see if you know anything he can coax out of you while you're stuck here. As an Uchiha, you're expected to have a big ninjutsu repertoire, after all. Or he could also be the kind who likes younger girls... not sure.

Either way, you'll nibble.

"Isn't the training supposed to be your Jounin-sensei's job?" you ask.

"In theory yes." he replies, freely. "But my instructor was a stealth and infiltration specialist. If he had to fight, it would be quietly, with Taijutsu and Kenjutsu... even if he knew a lot of Ninjutsu to teach, I've already been pigeonholed into the role of team medic. Going by Tsunade-sama's rules of engagement, technically I'm supposed to be prohibited from fighting at all." he sighs.

You're vaguely familiar with those, and nod consolingly when he sighs.

"It isn't that the woman doesn't deserve the respect people have for her. In her prime she was a legend, after all, and she all but singlehandedly developed Konoha's current medical system." he says, immediately turning to respect for the past to cover up what he might feel for things as they are right now. "But I don't exactly agree with her combat principles. I mean, she outlined them to prevent a medic from fighting at all unless everyone else was already dead, and in that case they wouldn't have the training or ability to handle whatever had happened. Hardly the sort of teamwork we're supposed to practice, is it? And she wrote in a special rule that effectively just means that she can ignore all of her own rules as she pleases."

"It does sound hypocritical of her." you agree easily enough, amused at the idea of having enough power to simply declare a rule that says you can flout the rules and then making everyone else go along with it.

"I know, right?" the boy sighs. "But most people don't appreciate that kind of talk. They idolize the past so greatly that they refuse to admit that she's crippled the future of medical ninja. Do you know when the last time a medical-ninja was promoted to Chuunin was?"

You deliberate upon it for a few moments, but then have to admit that you don't.

"Well, I don't remember the exact date and time myself, but I'll tell you this much." he says. "It was a promotion based on exceptional service in a time of war. All medical ninja are promoted in the field, because it's the only conditions where you can be promoted just for doing what you're expected to do in the hospital every day. The Chuunin exams that are held outside of wartime, though? It's a whole different story."

He shakes his head a little bitterly.

"There are stages where you pass and fail as a team, and a weak link will bring you down as a whole. There are stages where your direct combat skills are tested, and if you're below par then you can't proceed. Guess what Konoha medical ninja aren't trained in?" he asks rhetorically. "It's been three times now that our instructor has tried to push us through the Chuunin exams, and each time I've been stuck having to fight someone, and in the past two the entire team failed when I was knocked out. I can't say... that that hasn't fostered some ill will, since my teammates would like to be promoted as much as I would." he admits. "I think that they're going to start requesting temporary teammates to take the exam with instead of me, if nobody passes again next time."

Super cool sob story, bro. So, is now the point where he offers to swap medical jutsu for ninjutsu?

... No, apparently. Now is the time when he leans back in his chair, groaning, and chugs his own small bottle of plain milk. The different flavors only now hit you, and you bristle a bit at being treated like a small child.

"Anyway, my break-time is over and I have to go see how an old man managed to get his hip broken for the third time this year." he sighs, and pats you on the head. It doesn't dislodge glitter only because a head nurse deliberately and painfully went through your hair with a fine toothed comb to remove potential contaminants and you haven't gotten around to putting more in yet.

"Keep at it, all right?" he says, warmly.

And then he just... walks off, instead of anything else you'd imagined might come up.

You feel an unsettling mixture of relief and disappointment, feeling at the same time as though you'd narrowly dodged a kunai and been cheated.

The next time you see Kabuto, it's coming out of the washroom with traces of vomit in your hair and shit stains settling on your pants from having had to corral a screaming naked toddler with an intestinal virus.

It's far from the best time, seeing as you want to kill everyone here and then die, or vice versa. You aren't quite sure what to say.

---

[ ] ??
 
Hmm Kabuto is a pretty sympathetic character here.

I wonder if he's already been recruited by Orochimaru or if we can subvert that course of events. Anyone know when he turned spy?
 
[X] It is good to see you again. Would you be interested in trading some combat training in return for tutoring in Medical Jutsu?

Not really sure how to follow up on this. Learning Medical Jutsu from Kabuto seems like it could be interesting but if someone has a better plan for gaining access to a teacher potentially willing to ignore some rules on teaching Academy Students feel free to provide it.
 

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