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Wish upon the Stars (Original Superhero cultivation sci fi litrpg)

Discussion in 'Creative Writing' started by Malcolm Tent, Mar 19, 2022.

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  1. Malcolm Tent

    Malcolm Tent Monkey with a typewriter.

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    Honestly I feel bad for her and I think they should make up. But given the overwhelming dislike I'll probably just gloss over the whole thing. I don't want to kick her any more than necessary. Morality of cheaters aside, personally I think a forty year old superhuman systematically manipulating a nineteen year old girl using a notably enhanced superhuman ability to process information (literally hundreds of focus at least) and a perfect grasp of her body language (ditto on perception) for the sole purpose of
    having her bear his child
    is pretty fucked up, and I don't really hold her accountable for falling victim to someone like that. Especially given his ability to essentially maneuver himself politically into nearly sole control of an entire planet.
     
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  2. bamba12

    bamba12 Not too sore, are you?

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    And I mostly agree (except totally absolving her of all her faults, no one mind washed her into forgetting he is married), you are correct on all fronts, and I didn't for a moment want Annie to get kicked around or punished, you made her sympathetic enough for it, just that expecting her to make up with Callie... well that's a bit much imho.
    Again, it's all in your hands, you are the writer, maybe you will manage to pull it off but putting myself in Callie's shoes, after a betrayal like that, no matter how much I may have understood her position and etc, actually becoming friends with the woman who hurt my mother like that is... a bit too much.

    PS: Like, I get why the mc and others are sympathetic, he is a stranger to the situation, my personal gripe is only the potential bffs again between Callie and Annie situation, maybe Callie tolerating her?
    Maybe being friendly acquaintances ? But actual friendship after something like that?
     
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  3. Malcolm Tent

    Malcolm Tent Monkey with a typewriter.

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    There's also the kid to think of in this, being at least civil with Annie is kind of important for interacting with her little brother, who is absolutely not at fault in any of this. But I do see your point. Personally I feel I could move past it, but I'm also on the autism spectrum, and am notoriously bad at understanding emotional points of view lol.
     
  4. bamba12

    bamba12 Not too sore, are you?

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    Different folks different strokes, I can't say what anyone would do in this situation, some couples get past cheating which still boggles my mind... , so it's not unbelievable, just not something that imho would happen in a day or two, like, right now them becoming civil is believable, maybe in the years to come becoming friends again is doable too, just not in the short term.

    I would add though, I don't know how much push back and from whom and why you got for the matter but I personally think one of the major reasons for it is that you focused on it so much that people started thinking that you are planning for a resolution of their conflict and them becoming friends again in the near future.
     
  5. Malcolm Tent

    Malcolm Tent Monkey with a typewriter.

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    It's more that it's a backdrop for Midknights character and how much of a dick he is. Finding out about him purposefully targeting her was going to be a revelation that would take some of her anger off Annie. Not a resolution so much as "I know intellectually she wasn't really at fault but I'm still not over it."
     
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  6. dnajester

    dnajester The great Postulio.

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    Awesome story just binged it looking forward to more
     
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  7. The Markami

    The Markami Cogito, ergo sum titillantis

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    The MC granting wishes with his real identity always made me nervous, and doing it right at the academy... Yes, he is taking precautions with NDA and all that, but it seems quite risky for no added benefit. Or can he claim contribution points from it?

    Edit: typos
     
  8. Malcolm Tent

    Malcolm Tent Monkey with a typewriter.

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    Yeah he gets contribution points for it.
     
  9. john764

    john764 Know what you're doing yet?

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    Shouldn't this mean elite survived a hundred or more, or alternatively, veterans survived 10 to 50 times?
     
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  10. Malcolm Tent

    Malcolm Tent Monkey with a typewriter.

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    yeah I changed my mind halfway and forgot to switch it sorry lol all fixed.
     
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  11. Upset

    Upset Know what you're doing yet?

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    Isn't him ranking up and then his buddy gaining a power at the exact same time something to not draw attention to for a day or two? Not that its probably possible to hide in a building like this lol.
     
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  12. Malcolm Tent

    Malcolm Tent Monkey with a typewriter.

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    yeah lol that gets addressed next chapter.
     
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  13. Dormouse

    Dormouse Know what you're doing yet?

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    Hmm, I'm curious about how that ability could develop. It has conceptual elements of skin, metal, defense, and transformation.

    The way I'd develop it is losing skin and shifting metal to technology, possibly with an intermediate like mechanical. Then it becomes a technology transformation power, which works great with inventing. Being able to transform into ascendant technology limited only by your stats and relevant skills.

    Something like that has extreme versatility and potential. Enough to be considered a "cheat skill", if not on the level of a literal wish granting power.
     
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  14. john764

    john764 Know what you're doing yet?

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    So, I can only really see his ability being useful against slashing/piercing damage, probably moreso slashing than piercing.
    In Shadowthorn's example of being hit with a bat, the most I could see would be helping with surface bruising but not internal concussive damage. especially if he gets hit in the head, because that could still give him serious concussions and the like.

    This is all under the assumption that his skin becoming metal like only increases its durability while still having its flexibility to allow movement.
     
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  15. Malcolm Tent

    Malcolm Tent Monkey with a typewriter.

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    He won't have it long anyway. But it's Might and Vitality based, so it would make people think of those things during combat, which would boost the stats and make it even more effective. With the durability to bleed off direct damage Vitality can clear up the rest.
     
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  16. Upset

    Upset Know what you're doing yet?

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    Wouldn't temp syncing a perception based ability (like observe if only in a general sense) and the doom ability give him a general almost like VR HUD and simple overlays etc to make use of his skills outside of just his battle overlay? If he could use it later on linked to his ring(phone thing) he could have some pretty amazing tactical and even just every day life uses.
     
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  17. Malcolm Tent

    Malcolm Tent Monkey with a typewriter.

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    Skill designation is mostly based on general knowledge, so things like walking and observe are insanely hard to get a skill for because it's hard to be substantially better at them than everyone else. Regardless DS doesn't really have a useful HUD system because it's so free form, but he's going to get other useful abilities from his divination tree when he ranks up.
     
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  18. Chazz

    Chazz Making the rounds.

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    I wonder how they could transport that many corpses in their vehicle/skycar?

    Would it not be easier to just use the scan ring to mark the kills down?

    Or maybe guild/academy does a corpse pickup run or something?
     
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  19. Malcolm Tent

    Malcolm Tent Monkey with a typewriter.

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    The raccoons are small and the skyride is guild issue, so it has a spatially expanded trunk lol.
     
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  20. Xbure

    Xbure .

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    I'm imagining some quest giving powers.
     
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  21. john764

    john764 Know what you're doing yet?

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    I'm very interested to see the results of Benny's new ability.
     
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  22. The Markami

    The Markami Cogito, ergo sum titillantis

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    Nice! Thank you for the chapter!

    While the mechanic of using wishes to gather points and skills is pretty interesting, seeing him power up through actual accomplishments and hard work is more fulfilling. I also get a bit nervous with his rapid stat growth when he does not seem to be gathering renown at all. I keep expecting him to be found out.

    Have you considered having him slow down to gather more skills? If I remember right, skills could be combined too, couldn't they? He has a lot of unused skills that maybe he could sinergize into something of more worth if he gathered the right skills... maybe add a dance skill and a liying skill to the musical ones to make a performer skill that would help him portray the image he desired? He could also add to gymnastics and swimming things like running, jumping, parkour,... to turn into a superior movement skill?

    Are you going to expand on the Academy a little more, beyond the different tests of other faculties? It seems like some theoretical classes about how to present yourself to the public and your peers to try to steer the renown in the particular stats you want, or on known skill combinations and possible theories to try to predict unknown ones, would make sense. At least to me. Even if the most important part of the Academy life is it's assistance in stat acquisition, actually teaching the young heroes to manage their growth should also have it's place there, shouldn't it?
     
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  23. Malcolm Tent

    Malcolm Tent Monkey with a typewriter.

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    Now that he's G ranked his growth will slow down a bit, since he has a thousand points to get before he can hit F. As for his renown doing well in the tests and building his rep at the Academy will help. You also have to remember that he's spreading his points evenly over all his stats, which means they're lower for the same level than anyone else. He won't be showing people up too much stat wise at G rank for a while, and unless he ranks up they have no other way to chart his growth.
     
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  24. The Markami

    The Markami Cogito, ergo sum titillantis

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    But at 5 points a day, the 900 points will take him only 180 days, les than half a year. And that is if he doesn't get any stats the normal way in that time. While probably not beating any records, shouldn't that be too fast for someone no one has heard of?
     
  25. Malcolm Tent

    Malcolm Tent Monkey with a typewriter.

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    But he wouldn't be someone that no one has heard of by the time those 180 days elapse. Hell he isn't really now, Stricture's thing wasn't HUGE in Rajak but people do know about it.
     
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  26. The Markami

    The Markami Cogito, ergo sum titillantis

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    It seems I didn't understand how things normally work, then. Or I forgot since it is not shown often. What did you call the whole "how people percive you can affect how you behave" thing? the big problem with Mad Scientists? Recurssion?

    To me, that reaffirmed what I understood was the normal stat gain mechanic. That you gained stats when you did something that people were impressed about, and the amount and the kind of stats you gained was dependent on how outstanding the deed and how people percieved you accomplished it, respectively. Like, if you defeated someone a bit stronger in direct combat, you gained a bit of might, but if you found a large threat nobody could find for a long time, you would gain a lot of focus.

    When I said "someone no one has heard of", I meant to say that someone who grew really fast should have a lot of acomplishments that where well known by a lot of people.

    Tl;DR: I thought stats = fame, so someone how gains a lot of stats in little time should be growing in fame at the same rate, and his rapid increase from H to G could be excused by the Stricture thing being a big deal and possibly gained an immense amount of stats, but without something similar happening before he ranks up again, his speed would be really suspicious.

    Anyway, I'm enjoying the story a lot as it is. This is probably my own misunderstanding because, as far as I remember, the MC has really only gained stats the regular way twice, with the thug at the very begining (way before even the MC understood that much about anything) and with Stricture. Add Benni's upgrade now, and we barely have experienced how things work for other people. Maybe I'll understand better now we have Benni to show us how normal people gain stats.

    Edit: Spelling & Grammar
     
  27. Malcolm Tent

    Malcolm Tent Monkey with a typewriter.

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    What you're missing is the sheer number of people in the city. F rankers are like middling level famous at best. You need some serious renown to break past G but with the numbers they're working with that doesn't even come close to being "well known". Like if you ask a random person on the street they wouldn't have a clue who Shadowthorn is. She's semi famous in cape circles because of her relationship with Midknight and doing well at the academy but she's not a household name. Think of an F ranker as a B list actor. People who watch their show will know them and that might be a decent bunch of folks, but most people will have no clue who they are.
     
  28. The Markami

    The Markami Cogito, ergo sum titillantis

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    I don't want to stray into derail territory, so please, feel free to ignore me and not reply if I am annoying you. But to use your analogy...

    What I'm having trouble with is, how can he be a B list actor if there is no show for anyone to watch? Since practically all his points are earned behind closed doors and with aironclad NDAs, if his rank up is so fast but they cannot pinpoint his deeds, won't that arouse suspicions? Like a B-lister winning some minor award to Best Actor but no one being able to point for which movie/role he's won it?

    Maybe my problem is that I am overestimating how much attention his speed is going to garner. For all I know, there's thousands of people faster than him every year. And/or maybe what I am overstimating is how much people cares about someone going from mortal to F rank in less than a year, even if it is pretty rare. For all I know, everyone in that city only cares about E rank, and no one will actually bother to pay attention until he reaches that rank. This rings a bit hollow after they went to the trouble of recruiting him to the capital, but it could have been all just to trap Callie, an not a "two birds with one stone" type of situation, as I understood it at the beginning.

    Once again, I apologize if I am annoying you, and feel free to ignore this post completely, if you want. I won't be offended. Thank you for taking the time to adress my questions.
     
  29. Malcolm Tent

    Malcolm Tent Monkey with a typewriter.

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    You are overestimating the attention a bit, but also you're forgetting that when only a small percentage of people have heard of you, that means large percentages havent. If someone mentions a B list actor to you, but you can't find the show they're on, you don't immediately assume its some huge conspiracy. If you even bother looking. Most people just hand wave it "the other 99% of TV viewers must know about whoever that is."

    Also keep in mind he's going to be getting into the higher rankings as he gets stronger, and THOSE people are streamlined into the public consciousness (or at least the part of them that watch the games and trials) to help boost them. Once he starts climbing the ranks he'll be on the fast track and ranking up quick will just be normal anyway. Not to mention for every person who thinks "wow hes ranking up fast" thats even MORE renown, so thats a self reinforcing cycle that his success can be attributed to as well.
     
  30. john764

    john764 Know what you're doing yet?

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    I am utterly offended at this supposed chicken and dumplings recipe you presented.
    What you made was more akin to chicken soup with dumplings, not at all what it should be, in my opinion that is. The only saving grace is he didn't just take canned biscuits and throw them in there and made it himself.

    Sidenote, it wouldn't be near as good when they ate it as it would have been the next day or the day after, that is a fact.
     
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