Mr Zoat
Dedicated ragequitter
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- Dec 1, 2016
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31st May
18:58 GMT
"Oh, come in, come in!"
Mayor Johnson waves at me from where he stands next to some kind of mobile notice board. Pinned to it is what appears to be a line drawing of London, with roads and railway lines clearly marked out. There are also fourteen coloured pins stuck in various places. Apparently satisfied, he turns away and ambles back towards the table.
"Thank you, Mister Mayor." I push the door open the rest of the way and walk into the meeting room. "Not the Assembly meeting room this time?"
He stops dead mid paper shuffle. "Oh gosh. Did you want to?"
"No. Um, probably? You.. may need to run my proposal by a few people, but I can't think of any problem with presenting it to you first." He nods, looking a little relieved. "Do you mind if I ask-" I point towards the board. "-what that's about?"
He grins. "Finally got the RMT b-." He cuts himself off and has a quick check around the room. "Blighters on the back foot. It's your doing, you know. You and that Sephtian fellow and your wonderful portals."
I pull out the chair opposite him and sit down. "I haven't kept up to date. Is it still going down well?"
"What, you mean the ones in Battersea?" He finishes getting his papers together and puts the pile on one side before pulling out his chair and sitting down on it. "They aren't attracting quite so many visitors as they did when they were first installed, but they're on the itinerary of every tourist who comes here. You know, I was thinking." He brushes his hair back slightly with his right hand. "Do you think the Battersea Power Plant would work as a sort of… Hub, for them?"
"I was rather assuming that you'd want to follow the existing underground route." I think for a moment. "Maybe? A hub-based system could work, but it would get pretty darn crowded at peak time with everyone going through the same area."
"Oh, no no no. I don't mean for the final system. But I was talking to the Atlantean UN Ambassador chappie about the delivery timelines, and their best guess is that it's going to take years to make as many as we need to replace the tube network." He waves his left arm at the board. "This is just supposed to be a temporary thing. You know, take some pressure off the network-."
I smile. "And put some on the RMT."
He leans forward slightly, inclining his head. "You didn't hear that from me."
I nod, taking a look at the board. "In that case, yes, depending on your predicted footfall. I'd be happy to put them in place when you're ready to go… Um, assuming that I'm on the planet at the time." I turn back to him. "No problem getting approval for the system?"
"Oh, you know, normal union hot air. Nothing substantive. PM's fine with it, our lawyers say that there's no legal challenge that could be mounted that would stand much chance of success. Once we're ready to go we're ready to go."
I nod, smiling. "I'm glad to hear it."
"So, um." He rubs his hands together in front of his chest. "What was it you wanted to talk about? Terrorists? Supervillains? Some sort of demonic portal opening up under the streets of London?" He grins jovially.
I shake my head. "No, I shut the portal down months ago. It's really more-."
"Wait, what? You did?" His eyes widen. "There actually was a portal?"
"Yes sir. But it's closed, sealed, and everything that came through was destroyed."
"Ah." He relaxes slightly. "That's a relief. So what was it?"
"I need a favour. It's a fairly big one, and I'm perfectly happy to compensate the City of London for any costs incurred."
"Alright. What do you want?"
"I want to fight a supervillain here. To be precise, I wish to lure them here in order to fight them here."
"Um." Boris frowns, tiling his head slightly to the right. "Why?"
"The supervillain in question is a Lich. An.. undead magic user of considerable power. Among the various feats of magic it can perform is teleportation. Now, I can.. jam most forms of technology based teleportation… But.. I.. can't reliably block magic teleportation. Fortunately, the chief shaman of London can."
"Chief… Shaman..?" He clicks his fingers. "Oh, don't tell it, it's that chap… What'shisname… Met him once…"
"His name is Ken Ondaate and since he works for Transport for London you might have met him on a picket line at some point. Otherwise, I rather doubt it."
"Oh." He frowns. "No, I was going completely in the wrong direction with that one."
"Mister Ondaate is an extremely powerful magic user, but his influence only extends as far as the city does. That's why-."
Boris holds up his right hand. "Sorry, just… Transport for London employs a wizard?"
W-? Oh. "Not in his capacity as a wizard. He does cleaning and basic maintenance. He just.. likes walking around under his city."
"Mpf." Boris shrugs with both hands. "Who am I to judge? I suppose he may as well do it here as in Tibet or somewhere." He puffs out his cheeks, then exhales. "And he can stop this Lich escaping?"
"Testing it.. is.. somewhat tricky, but we believe so."
"And then you can take it in a fight?"
"Again, I can't give a complete guarantee, but…" I nod. "Yes. My team and I believe that we can."
He nods. "And the risk of collateral damage?"
"The best information we have is that it will attempt to leave, and if unable to do so will focus on its attackers. If we're all dead, it should simply leave. The main problem will be from… Missed attacks. A directed energy attack or a projectile weapon keeps going until it hits something. That's why I want to sort the whole thing out in advance."
"There are a lot of people in London. If you're talking about evacuating a large area, that's…" He shakes his head.
"My current plan is to have the fight take place as much as possible in Hyde Park. That way, clearing out the immediate area shouldn't be too difficult."
"What about Richmond Park? It's far larger. If you could keep the combat zone down to the middle we might not have to evacuate anyone."
"Mister Ondaate's magic is stronger the closer towards the city centre he is. Richmond Park is sufficiently far away that he's not sure that he could maintain the spell." Boris nods. "I can provide mobile force field generators for the periphery of the park and I can set up all kinds of wards in advance, but I would advise that the buildings on the edge of the park be evacuated before the fight starts."
"Right. And how long do we have?"
"I'm aiming for the seventh of July."
"Oh." He smiles for a second. "I thought this was going to be a bit more imminent."
"This sort of thing needs a lot of planning."
"I'm glad you appreciate that."
"Beyond the evacuation, we'd need a police cordon keeping people away, road blocks and… I'd certainly appreciate it if there were paramedics on standby. Again, I'm obviously prepared to pay for all of it."
"That will help. What happens if you don't?"
"Don't… Fight him here?" Boris nods. "Then I'll have to fight him somewhere else. London is the best place I've been able to find, but we could do it somewhere else. The trap would be far less reliable though… I.. wouldn't like our chances of keeping the Lich contained. If it helps..?" He raises his eyebrows. "I realise that this has the capacity to go very badly wrong. I am willing not merely to cover the costs, but to compensate for the risk."
"In what way?"
"One week of my time. With a power ring, I can…"
"Chase down criminals?"
"Yes. I can also remove industrial contamination from brown field sites that no one is prepared to build on. Or I can skip the middleman and build cheap housing myself. Just give me the plans. If you're having trouble with the tunnels for HS Two, I can do that. And I understand that you had plans to build an island in the Thames Estuary to build an airport on? Just give me the plans and I'll do it. I don't usually do… Industrial things, but I'm willing to make an exception here. This is very important to me."
"Right." He nods again. "Is it alright if I discuss this with people?"
"I'd rather you kept the need-to-know down, but if you need to talk to someone, yes, that's completely fine."
"Okay then. Let me think about this, and we'll meet up again… Same time next week?"
I nod. "Thank you, Boris."
18:58 GMT
"Oh, come in, come in!"
Mayor Johnson waves at me from where he stands next to some kind of mobile notice board. Pinned to it is what appears to be a line drawing of London, with roads and railway lines clearly marked out. There are also fourteen coloured pins stuck in various places. Apparently satisfied, he turns away and ambles back towards the table.
"Thank you, Mister Mayor." I push the door open the rest of the way and walk into the meeting room. "Not the Assembly meeting room this time?"
He stops dead mid paper shuffle. "Oh gosh. Did you want to?"
"No. Um, probably? You.. may need to run my proposal by a few people, but I can't think of any problem with presenting it to you first." He nods, looking a little relieved. "Do you mind if I ask-" I point towards the board. "-what that's about?"
He grins. "Finally got the RMT b-." He cuts himself off and has a quick check around the room. "Blighters on the back foot. It's your doing, you know. You and that Sephtian fellow and your wonderful portals."
I pull out the chair opposite him and sit down. "I haven't kept up to date. Is it still going down well?"
"What, you mean the ones in Battersea?" He finishes getting his papers together and puts the pile on one side before pulling out his chair and sitting down on it. "They aren't attracting quite so many visitors as they did when they were first installed, but they're on the itinerary of every tourist who comes here. You know, I was thinking." He brushes his hair back slightly with his right hand. "Do you think the Battersea Power Plant would work as a sort of… Hub, for them?"
"I was rather assuming that you'd want to follow the existing underground route." I think for a moment. "Maybe? A hub-based system could work, but it would get pretty darn crowded at peak time with everyone going through the same area."
"Oh, no no no. I don't mean for the final system. But I was talking to the Atlantean UN Ambassador chappie about the delivery timelines, and their best guess is that it's going to take years to make as many as we need to replace the tube network." He waves his left arm at the board. "This is just supposed to be a temporary thing. You know, take some pressure off the network-."
I smile. "And put some on the RMT."
He leans forward slightly, inclining his head. "You didn't hear that from me."
I nod, taking a look at the board. "In that case, yes, depending on your predicted footfall. I'd be happy to put them in place when you're ready to go… Um, assuming that I'm on the planet at the time." I turn back to him. "No problem getting approval for the system?"
"Oh, you know, normal union hot air. Nothing substantive. PM's fine with it, our lawyers say that there's no legal challenge that could be mounted that would stand much chance of success. Once we're ready to go we're ready to go."
I nod, smiling. "I'm glad to hear it."
"So, um." He rubs his hands together in front of his chest. "What was it you wanted to talk about? Terrorists? Supervillains? Some sort of demonic portal opening up under the streets of London?" He grins jovially.
I shake my head. "No, I shut the portal down months ago. It's really more-."
"Wait, what? You did?" His eyes widen. "There actually was a portal?"
"Yes sir. But it's closed, sealed, and everything that came through was destroyed."
"Ah." He relaxes slightly. "That's a relief. So what was it?"
"I need a favour. It's a fairly big one, and I'm perfectly happy to compensate the City of London for any costs incurred."
"Alright. What do you want?"
"I want to fight a supervillain here. To be precise, I wish to lure them here in order to fight them here."
"Um." Boris frowns, tiling his head slightly to the right. "Why?"
"The supervillain in question is a Lich. An.. undead magic user of considerable power. Among the various feats of magic it can perform is teleportation. Now, I can.. jam most forms of technology based teleportation… But.. I.. can't reliably block magic teleportation. Fortunately, the chief shaman of London can."
"Chief… Shaman..?" He clicks his fingers. "Oh, don't tell it, it's that chap… What'shisname… Met him once…"
"His name is Ken Ondaate and since he works for Transport for London you might have met him on a picket line at some point. Otherwise, I rather doubt it."
"Oh." He frowns. "No, I was going completely in the wrong direction with that one."
"Mister Ondaate is an extremely powerful magic user, but his influence only extends as far as the city does. That's why-."
Boris holds up his right hand. "Sorry, just… Transport for London employs a wizard?"
W-? Oh. "Not in his capacity as a wizard. He does cleaning and basic maintenance. He just.. likes walking around under his city."
"Mpf." Boris shrugs with both hands. "Who am I to judge? I suppose he may as well do it here as in Tibet or somewhere." He puffs out his cheeks, then exhales. "And he can stop this Lich escaping?"
"Testing it.. is.. somewhat tricky, but we believe so."
"And then you can take it in a fight?"
"Again, I can't give a complete guarantee, but…" I nod. "Yes. My team and I believe that we can."
He nods. "And the risk of collateral damage?"
"The best information we have is that it will attempt to leave, and if unable to do so will focus on its attackers. If we're all dead, it should simply leave. The main problem will be from… Missed attacks. A directed energy attack or a projectile weapon keeps going until it hits something. That's why I want to sort the whole thing out in advance."
"There are a lot of people in London. If you're talking about evacuating a large area, that's…" He shakes his head.
"My current plan is to have the fight take place as much as possible in Hyde Park. That way, clearing out the immediate area shouldn't be too difficult."
"What about Richmond Park? It's far larger. If you could keep the combat zone down to the middle we might not have to evacuate anyone."
"Mister Ondaate's magic is stronger the closer towards the city centre he is. Richmond Park is sufficiently far away that he's not sure that he could maintain the spell." Boris nods. "I can provide mobile force field generators for the periphery of the park and I can set up all kinds of wards in advance, but I would advise that the buildings on the edge of the park be evacuated before the fight starts."
"Right. And how long do we have?"
"I'm aiming for the seventh of July."
"Oh." He smiles for a second. "I thought this was going to be a bit more imminent."
"This sort of thing needs a lot of planning."
"I'm glad you appreciate that."
"Beyond the evacuation, we'd need a police cordon keeping people away, road blocks and… I'd certainly appreciate it if there were paramedics on standby. Again, I'm obviously prepared to pay for all of it."
"That will help. What happens if you don't?"
"Don't… Fight him here?" Boris nods. "Then I'll have to fight him somewhere else. London is the best place I've been able to find, but we could do it somewhere else. The trap would be far less reliable though… I.. wouldn't like our chances of keeping the Lich contained. If it helps..?" He raises his eyebrows. "I realise that this has the capacity to go very badly wrong. I am willing not merely to cover the costs, but to compensate for the risk."
"In what way?"
"One week of my time. With a power ring, I can…"
"Chase down criminals?"
"Yes. I can also remove industrial contamination from brown field sites that no one is prepared to build on. Or I can skip the middleman and build cheap housing myself. Just give me the plans. If you're having trouble with the tunnels for HS Two, I can do that. And I understand that you had plans to build an island in the Thames Estuary to build an airport on? Just give me the plans and I'll do it. I don't usually do… Industrial things, but I'm willing to make an exception here. This is very important to me."
"Right." He nods again. "Is it alright if I discuss this with people?"
"I'd rather you kept the need-to-know down, but if you need to talk to someone, yes, that's completely fine."
"Okay then. Let me think about this, and we'll meet up again… Same time next week?"
I nod. "Thank you, Boris."