EgyptianDio
DAJAKU! DAJAKU!
- Joined
- Mar 20, 2020
- Messages
- 2,159
- Likes received
- 140,172
Dear Presence… I guess in a world like DC there had to be at least one moron like this.
Follow along with the video below to see how to install our site as a web app on your home screen.
Note: This feature may not be available in some browsers.
This needs to be linked to "Friends on the Other Side."
Dear Presence… I guess in a world like DC there had to be at least one moron like this.
Improbably -> Improbable
That should say 'his'.Mr. White winces as he wish is pushed into the room, bound hand, foot and neck with enchanted bonds of iron, the neck bracket attached to poles held by federal agents on work experience.
What does the Renegade have to do to become even more terrifying than Constantine for demons? Will it only happen once he starts his Harrowing of Hell?"You're a demon. And while the two aren't necessarily contradictory, I had Mister Constantine go through your alleged paperwork."
"Constan-? … Fuuuuuuuuuuuck."
"Not quite sure what he's got that I haven't, but sure. Be worried about him." I gesture to two agents accompanying her. "As you can see, the United States of America is a little better prepared to handle things relating to magic these days."
That quotation mark should be moved to the end.
...I suppose it's safe to guess he isn't Lex Luthor's biological son in this universe. If only because of how stupid he appears to be. Any son of Lex would be quite smarter. Now, what on Earth did he do to get this treatment?18th February 2013
19:21 GMT -7
I sigh as the g-elves escort… An idiotic American college student in. He's dressed like an unusually sheltered middle class youth's idea of what a punk looks like, faux-leather bracers, three hundred dollar leather jacket and jeans that were 'ripped' with a pair of scissors. He looks up at me with a depressing combination is despair and hope. "Ah, Mister… Grayven?"
"Perry.. Jerome.. White."
...Evidently it's something that can make the Renegade ashamed to have to deal with, huh?I make a show of slumping slightly in my chair, elbows resting on my desk.
"How..?"
Well, that sums up his initial outlook on 'Jerry's intelligence, at least."Ah… Mister Grayven?"
"A simple question, man. How on earth did you manage it?"
...Well, if they made it difficult, they wouldn't get any takers."Well, I…" His eyes shift shiftily as he tries to work out what the right answer is. "I-. The book made it… I didn't even think it was real. Y'know?"
"You, a rank neophyte, with no prior experience of magic, managed to summon up the Queen of the Succubae."
Not the best thing to be proud of, but you do you, kid.To my surprise and mild satisfaction, he manages to pull himself up slightly.
"Yeah."
Now, is it deserved 'shit' or are you trying to pretend you're a complete angel?"Why?"
"Ah… My last girlfriend dumped me a couple of months ago, and she-. I'm pretty sure she's been spreading shit about me with all her friends-."
I mean, it can't have been worth much, after all. Maybe getting an escort would have been cheaper?I raise my right hand. He stops talking.
"I can well understand a young man being horny and without a partner. What I don't understand is going from that to selling your soul to Queen Triskele."
And this is why you put the warnings before the spells, fellows. Preferably with pictorial aids for morons.
That practice in fatherly patience coming in handy.
And give him your best 'Son, I am disappoint' stare, right?
Well, that is what some mythology says about them, at least."If you'd stopped reading at 'succubus' then we wouldn't be in this position. So am I to understand that your aim was to summon up an idealised sexual partner and make merry, and worry about the bill later?"
"I just… Figured she'd.. want… 'Vital force' or something?"
Certainly he probably has fans in some low places thanks to that. Probably not the sort he'd be willing to associate with, though..."Mister White, Japanese pornography is not a reliable guide to demonology. Also." I close my eyes again and shake my head. "Triskele has the form of a giant skeletal snake with an androgynously beautiful face strapped to her skull. Now, I'm dating a horse, so I'm not going to criticise you for having extra-anthropological tastes, but…"
...Or just about any other pieces of fiction. Seriously."There were… There were, like, other pictures on the page, and I didn't really… I didn't know she was the snake, I just thought… I thought the bones were… You know, decoration."
If I ever find myself in the room with the man responsible for World of Warcraft…
Wait, you actually managed to..."I hope that the rest of your studies are going rather better than the 'F' I'm giving you in demonology."
"'F'-? The spell worked, didn't-?"
Huh. That would be the unlucky demoness now, then. Because seriously, Jerry here does not sound like the best of customers.
"Oh, hells, I'm sick of sitting around watching this inane reality teevee!' I'm sure that can't have been the most pleasant posting.Mr. White winces as his wish is pushed into the room, bound hand, foot and neck with enchanted bonds of iron, the neck bracket attached to poles held by federal agents on work experience.
One suitably nubile succubus, magically able and willing to indulge his every desire. Which unless I miss my guess probably started at the occasional mildly usual sex act and quickly morphed into supportive girlfriend things that she'd find painfully boring but was too scared of her queen to say anything about.
...Oooh, now she's in trouble. Don't mess with the USCIS."Jer-ry! They're hurting me!"
"Do you have your immigration paperwork?"
...Not unless they have a really peculiar powerset, anyway."Wha..? I'm American."
Improbably breast-waist-hips ratio, flawless skin without makeup, purple hair and… I sniff. Yes, a mild aphrodisiac scent. None of that is impossible for a metahuman, but a metahuman wouldn't suffer burns from the sanctified iron.
Yeah, you got that right. And not the fun kind, either."You're a demon. And while the two aren't necessarily contradictory, I had Mister Constantine go through your alleged paperwork."
"Constan-? … Fuuuuuuuuuuuck."
Okay, that's probably the smartest thing Jerry's said yet."Not quite sure what he's got that I haven't, but sure. Be worried about him." I gesture to two agents accompanying her. "As you can see, the United States of America is a little better prepared to handle things relating to magic these days."
"Ah, babe? I think we should probably cooperate."
...Ah. Bone-snake lady is kind of impatient about this stuff, huh?"But Jer-ry! The queen's gunna be super-pissed!"
I shake my head. "You know full well that in four years it's not going to matter anyway."
Right, that'll put a dampener on the wholeMr. White looks at me nervously. "Why? What happen in four years?"
"The pact isn't 'until death'. It's 'until Triskele gets bored'. Five years at most, then she drags you off to Hell."
Except this one doesn't end up with you eventually owning a home. Maybe buying a farm, but not one you could live on."…" His eyes widen. "F-uuuuck."
"You can get out of it! Just make a new deal! It's like a mortgage!"
And no need to point out that that would get your soul condemned to Hell anyway. Jerry's not that stupid.Mr. White looks at me for conformation.
"Yes, if you can scrounge up a new innocent soul to sacrifice, that would indeed work. The last person Mister Constantine found in your position habitually kidnapped and sacrificed babies to fulfil the requirement."
...She's not one of the Lady's smarter servants, is she?"Fuck."
"Sure!" The succubus rattles her chains. "Just let me ditch these guys and I'll get right on it, and on you."
Well, perhaps you shouldn't have taken to thinking with your lower head. That blind little bastard will get you into all sorts of trouble, you know.I gaze levelly at Mr. White. "Seriously?"
"I-I don't wanna murder babies!"
Let's hope hearing her sound so chipper about the concept of killing or enslaving infants has shaken some sense into him..."You wouldn't. You'd kidnap babies. The queen would kill them. And maybe not even then! Sometimes they just get trained as cultists, or sold on to other people!"
I lean forwards. "May I assume, then, that I will have your assistance in un-fucking this situation?"
Now to see if she has more brains than Jerry does.He nods, while his succubus concubine just looks away, disinterested.
"And you."
True, she was only doing her job, but still... Considering what that job is..."Whaaa-aat! You're ruining my contract!"
"Yes, but let's be honest with ourselves: you don't actually like Queen Triskele. Do you?"
Oof. Foul blow to the ego there."She got me this job." … "So no, she suuuucks."
If possible, Mr. White slumps a little further.
And I can't help imagining him wondering if he's just trading one bad contract for another..."It was just one puppy! I have needs. … And wants."
"So I intend to tug on your contract to get Queen Triskele's attention. Work with me, and you will avoid prosecution and eternal damnation both." I hold out my right arm. "Shake my hand."
He shakes.
Double Space there.
I gesture to the two agents accompanying her.
Found another error. That apostrophe should be removed.
The ability to win against things older and more terrifying then Darkseid?
The first usually happens at great cost, I'm not sure any of the Endless owe John a favor, and I wasn't aware of the last one. Can you quote when that happened?The ability to win against things older and more terrifying then Darkseid?
Multiple members of The Endless who owe him favors?
The ability to rewrite his fate in the book of destiny?
'mildly unusual'?Which unless I miss my guess probably started at the occasional mildly usual sex act and quickly morphed into supportive girlfriend things that she'd find painfully boring but was too scared of her queen to say anything about.
'confirmation'
You, a rank neophyte, with no prior experience of magic, managed to summon up the Queen of the Succubae."
"You can get out of it! Just make a new deal! It's like a mortgage
"I-I don't wanna murder babies!"
"You wouldn't. You'd kidnap babies. The queen would kill them
And maybe not even then! Sometimes they just get trained as cultists, or sold on to other people!"
"Yes, but let's be honest with ourselves: you don't actually like Queen Triskele
"So I intend to tug on your contract to get Queen Triskele's attention. Work with me, and you will avoid prosecution and eternal damnation both." I hold out my right arm. "Shake my hand
...I suppose it's safe to guess he isn't Lex Luthor's biological son in this universe. If only because of how stupid he appears to be. Any son of Lex would be quite smarter
Huh. That would be the unlucky demoness now, then. Because seriously, Jerry here does not sound like the best of customers
Every bell curve has a shallow end, though admittedly hitting the sweet spot where you're smart enough to perform the magic while being stupid enough to perform the magic is a bit rarer.Dear Presence… I guess in a world like DC there had to be at least one moron like this.
That should say 'his'.
That quotation mark should be moved to the end.
Double Space there.
I gesture to the two agents accompanying her.
Than you, corrected.
After double checking, I've confirmed that the missing quotation mark at the end is only present in the story only version.
Thank you, corrected. For real this time.After double checking, I've confirmed that the missing quotation mark at the end is only present in the story only version.
Cuz, with the Silver City's record in the fic, it's a foregone conclusion, that arc probably brought a wave of conversions actually, I'm estimating it to at least be in the six digits.
She was thinking of converting and Paul's definitely gonna encourage her, even if Giovanni's devout and tries to convince Zatanna otherwise, Paul's probably just gonna point out the foolishness of his faith since the angels didn't do anything during his possession and go for a two for one conversion
I remember her considering Aphrodite, but she was emotionally devastated at the time, so that may no longer be considered.
I'm thinking that a lot of Khandaq is going to start worshipping the Khandaqi gods.
The Shinto could also probably find converts.
Most pantheons didn't do anything to stop the Anti-Life, so they may still not get any converts.
Mr Zoat confirmed that they were instead able to get Zeus' power back into Billy.Though that does remind me, I wonder what happened with Billy.
Susanoo was willing to act as a patron, but I admit Zauriel appealing to his superiors to empower Billy is ironic. It's not like the Wizard would be against it given Solomon, but that'll just repeat the problem down the line when the Silver City is destroyed and Zauriel is the last angel in existence.
Huh, good to know. Thanks.Mr Zoat confirmed that they were instead able to get Zeus' power back into Billy.
Eh, given the track record of the Silver City, I expect Christianity to be a dead religion in-universe by the time the fic's done
And OL to provoke a religious war with Islam because he's just that dense and condescending when he thinks people are being idiots
Huh, good to know. Thanks.
Billy rocking some theurgy or what Susanoo's got would have been fun, ah well, the name's too iconic I suppose lol
I found the quote that confirms that Zeus is still sponsoring Billy.
No one. Zeus is still fine sponsoring William, and Hephaestean is fine with allowing it.
I doubt.
If the fic ends millenia into the future in-universe, then maybe.
But I think that the Abrahamic faiths will just lose some worshippers after this.
Heck, with the Life Entity being seen, they may actually experience a resurgence and growth if it's attributed to the Abrahamic god.
This is...sadly plausible.
He got Susanoo as a Power patron.
Last we saw him I think he was doing the same thing Adom was doing and used that power to help free people from Anti-Life.
Nommo was worried that the Shinto would side with Darkseid due to pragmatism, but it didn't happen.
Not exactly. Due to the Cold War going a little differently, the sort of 'spicy' Islam we're used to is a much smaller thing mostly limited to the border region between Afghanisan and Pakistan. The largest unifying ideology in the Middle East is anti-colonial pan-Arab nationalism. Even if peoples faith took a hit, cultural inertia would keep them doing a lot of things assocatied with it.Eh, given the track record of the Silver City, I expect Christianity to be a dead religion in-universe by the time the fic's done.
And OL to provoke a religious war with Islam because he's just that dense and unempathetic to sensitive topics and condescending when he thinks people are being idiots.
On the Khandaqi, maybe. Hard to find more zealous people than the Muslim, they'd be grateful to Teth Adom, and the common citizen likely won't be hung up about Khandaq expanding its borders due to his help in fighting off the Anti-Life. Then again, nah, you're right. Islam's about to get a big decrease in worshippers I think.
Not exactly. Due to the Cold War going a little differently, the sort of 'spicy' Islam we're used to is a much smaller thing mostly limited to the border region between Afghanisan and Pakistan. The largest unifying ideology in the Middle East is anti-colonial pan-Arab nationalism. Even if peoples faith took a hit, cultural inertia would keep them doing a lot of things assocatied with it.
As for Jesus, it's not like he ecan prove anything.