[RWBY] RWBY Shorts

[Bev]

Ah, our favorite murder Loli.

 

[AndrewJTalon]

Velvet Scarlatina marched up to Jaune in the deserted hallway outside the cafeteria like a woman on a mission from God. Her ears were pinned flat against her head in full battle mode, brown eyes blazing, cheeks already pink with a mix of fury and something suspiciously close to embarrassment.

Jaune, balancing a tray of suspiciously lumpy cafeteria mystery meat, offered a friendly wave.

"Oh, hey, Velvet! What's—"

"Why is he bullying you?!" she demanded, planting herself in his path and jabbing an accusatory finger at his chest hard enough to make him juggle the tray.

Jaune blinked rapidly. "Eh?! You mean Cardin? Look, it's not a big deal, he's just—"

"Why are you just taking it like some kind of spineless noodle?!"

"Well, I was going to—"

Velvet steamrolled right over him, voice climbing an octave. "He used to bully me, you know! He yanked my ears! Called me 'animal' like it was an insult! Do you have any idea how traumatic that is for a proud Faunus?!"

Jaune winced in genuine sympathy. "Yeah, that's awful, and totally not okay, but—"

Suddenly, Velvet threw her hands up, ears flopping dramatically with the motion, and unleashed the bombshell at full volume:

"I'M THE HOT BUNNY GIRL, OKAY?! HE'S SUPPOSED TO BE MY TSUNDERE HUSBAND WHO SECRETLY HAS A THING FOR EARS AND ACTS ALL GRUFF BUT BUYS ME CARROTS AND CALLS ME CUTE WHEN HE THINKS I'M NOT LISTENING!"

Jaune's brain blue-screened. His mouth opened. Closed. Opened again. The tray tilted dangerously; a glob of mystery meat plopped sadly onto his shoe.

"I… huh? Wait, tsundere—what?!"

Velvet leaned in, face now scarlet but undeterred, poking him repeatedly in the chest like she was hammering home a manifesto.

"Listen here, you—you absolute twink! Cardin Winchester is mine! I've got dibs! I've been cultivating this enemies-to-lovers arc since he got here! So you'd better grow a spine, stand up to him, and make him leave you alone—or I swear on every carrot in Remnant, I will break both your wrists! He's MINE, got it?!"

Jaune's hands shot up in frantic surrender, tray abandoned on a nearby windowsill. "I-I don't like him like that! At all! Zero interest! Negative interest!"

"GOT IT?!"

"GOT IT! CRYSTAL CLEAR! MESSAGE RECEIVED!"

"GOOD!"

Velvet spun on her heel with military precision, ears flicking once in triumphant satisfaction, and stormed off down the hall.

Jaune stood rooted to the spot, staring after her, face drained of color.

He looked down at the sad meat glob on his shoe.

Then up at the ceiling, as if pleading for answers.

"…Are all Huntresses completely insane," he whispered to the empty air, "or am I just cursed?"

- - -

A few weeks later, the Beacon courtyard was bathed in late-afternoon sunlight, students milling about between classes, the air filled with the usual chatter of missions, weapons, and weekend plans. Cardin Winchester stood near the fountain, shifting his weight awkwardly, his massive frame looking uncharacteristically small. He'd rehearsed this a dozen times in his head—thanks to Jaune's unexpected backbone and a few hard lessons in humility, he was finally doing the right thing.

Velvet Scarlatina hopped into view—literally, with a light bounce in her step—her ears perked up as she spotted him marching up to her. Her cheeks turned pink with anticipation.

Cardin cleared his throat, rubbing the back of his neck. "Uh… Hey, listen, An—Velvet. I'm sorry about the ear tugging and the name calling. It was messed up. I promise I won't do it anymore."

Velvet froze mid-step, ears twitching like radar dishes picking up an incoming missile. Her big brown eyes went wide as saucers.

"Wh-What?!"

Cardin, mistaking her shock for lingering hurt, pressed on earnestly—because for once in his life, he was trying to be a decent human being.

"It was wrong, and I—"

"YOU'RE BREAKING UP WITH ME?!"

The courtyard went dead silent. A nearby first-year dropped his scroll. Dove Bronzewing, lingering with the rest of Team CRDL a safe distance away, choked on his water.

Cardin's jaw dropped. "Huh?!"

Velvet's face crumpled into tragic melodrama worthy of a Mistral soap opera. Her ears drooped like wilted flowers, hands clutching her chest as though he'd stabbed her with a rusty spoon.

"WHO IS SHE?!" she wailed, voice cracking into full theatrical soprano. "WHO'S THE WHORE WHO STOLE MY MAN?! Was it that redhead from Combat Class? Or the one with the hammer?! NO ONE CAN LOVE YOU LIKE I CAN, CARDIN! NO ONE UNDERSTANDS YOUR BROODING SOUL AND SECRET SOFT SIDE LIKE I DO!"

Cardin's face cycled through confusion, panic, and sheer existential dread. His team edged farther away, Russel muttering, "Nope, not getting involved in this one."

"B-Breaking up?!" Cardin stammered, hands up like he was warding off a Grimm. "We were never— I was just apologizing! For being a jerk! I don't even— There's no one else!"

Velvet wasn't listening. She'd gone full tragic heroine—tears welling, lower lip trembling, one ear flopping dramatically over her eye.

"You tugged my ears because you secretly liked them! You called me 'animal' because it was your cute nickname for me! We were supposed to have a enemies-to-lovers arc! Slow burn! Mutual pining! You were going to carry me bridal-style after I saved you from a Beowolf and then we'd share a passionate kiss in the rain!"

Cardin's brain short-circuited. His mouth opened and closed like a fish drowning in air.

"I… pulled your ears because I was an asshole?" he tried weakly.

Velvet gasped, clutching imaginary pearls. "Don't lie to me! You can't just throw away our future like this! We were going to have a spring wedding with carrot cake and everything!"

Sky Harris, watching from the sidelines, leaned over to Lark. "Ten lien says she challenges him to a duel for his heart."

Lark shook his head. "No bet."

Cardin, face now the color of a ripe tomato, backed up a step. "Velvet, I swear, I'm just trying to say sorry! No breaking up! No other girl! I'm not— We're not— There was never a—"

Velvet pointed a trembling finger at him, tears streaming freely now. "You'll regret this, Cardin Winchester! You'll come crawling back when you realize no one else will tolerate your terrible flirting and your weird obsession with maces!"

She spun on her heel—ears flopping with righteous fury—and stormed off, leaving a trail of bewildered students and one utterly shell-shocked Cardin standing in the fountain's spray.

Team CRDL finally approached their leader, who looked like he'd been hit by a Bullhead.

Dove patted his shoulder. "So… that went well?"

Cardin stared into the distance, voice hollow.

"I think I just got dumped by someone I never dated."

From a nearby bench, Coco Adel lowered her sunglasses, smirking at Velvet's dramatic exit.

"Girl's got commitment issues," she muttered to Fox. "Or commitment fantasies."

Cardin slumped against the fountain, soaking wet and existentially exhausted.

"Why is my life like this?"

 

[Bev]

And those who say bunnies are peaceful animals, never had a pet bunny.

 

[ExFelineServer3]

Not a lot of people have seen a pissed off rabbit, much less a pissed off jackrabbit!

 

[Azzy Rael]

…. Some how Coco or any of her team never managed to convince her Cardin was just a stupid racist? Like, in the others where she does get with him it seems like everyone is aware of her kink. This… well Cardin doesn't look good for being a racist and a moron, her team doesn't look good for not clearing this up before it got this far, and Velvet doesn't look good for both assuming Jaune was 'stealing her man' and essentially using Cardin to get off on her kink.
Without major punishment for that whole…. Whatever that is, even the fact she's a kinky bunny girl puts her in the baalbuddy territory because even using that dumpsterfire for warmth is gonna have you inhaling toxic fumes.

 

[IvanR1314]

…. Some how Coco or any of her team never managed to convince her Cardin was just a stupid racist? Like, in the others where she does get with him it seems like everyone is aware of her kink. This… well Cardin doesn't look good for being a racist and a moron, her team doesn't look good for not clearing this up before it got this far, and Velvet doesn't look good for both assuming Jaune was 'stealing her man' and essentially using Cardin to get off on her kink.
Without major punishment for that whole…. Whatever that is, even the fact she's a kinky bunny girl puts her in the baalbuddy territory because even using that dumpsterfire for warmth is gonna have you inhaling toxic fumes.

Click to shrink...

. . . . Baalbuddy's curse of Thirsty Women inflicted on Huntresses and Huntresses-In-Training? ALL THE BAD DESISIONS THAT HAPPENED IN CANON MAKE SENSE NOW! No good Stress Relief means Bad Decision making!