1st April 2012
22:48 GMT -6
"Elements of Harmony."
Sunset and I look down from a near-empty viewing gallery as the late train to Canterlot approaches.
"That's why Celestia was so fixated on me making friends. She wanted me to turn Nightmare Moon back into Luna, like Twilight did. And… Probably end up becoming an alicorn like she did."
"Probably."
"I don't… If she'd just
told me, I'd have-."
"You'd never have learned to do it for yourself. You'd just have blundered into it copying someone else's work. Like Twilight has."
"I… Guess."
Hm. Change the topic. I nod towards the tracks.
"Do you know why it's called the Friendship Express?"
"What?" She blinks, and shakes her head. "No..? They were still building it when I left." She turns her head in the direction of the train now pulling into Canterlot Central Station. "Though I can't say that I'm surprised. Celestia clearly thinks that friendship is the solution to everything,
including trains."
"I
was a little surprised that there's only a single line."
"It's because the city's on a mountain. Creating room for a second track was going to be so expensive that they decided to just merge the tracks at
Saddle Lake."
"
That's a crash waiting to happen."
"It's probably only temporary. I wasn't really paying attention-" I see the purple dot I know to be Twilight Sparkle appear in a flash of purple and trot over to five
other dots.
Good. "-because the trains use next to no magic and that's pretty much all I was interested in."
I stare at her, eyes wide. "
No.
Really?"
She turns her head back toward me and rolls her eyes. I grin, and she gives her mane a toss in irritation. "So? Why do you want to meet them?"
"What's my biggest problem?"
"
Darkseid. And…" I see it in her expression as understanding dawns. "He's a big, unfriendly, disharmonious evildoer. Do you.. really think that the Elements of Harmony can defeat h-"
"What have I said about the word 'defeat'?"
"-im?" She sags slightly. "
That imprecisely worded descriptions are no one's friend." She frowns in puzzlement. "So what
do you actually want?"
"I'm not in any position to be fussy. Apokolips doesn't have a moon, but they can banish him to.. wherever it was Uncle Drax ended up if they like. Or turn him to stone. Or… Make him non-evil. I'd
take them killing him, but I don't actually want that
specifically."
"I'm.. not sure…" Sunset looks like an atheist who has just learned that angels are real and is now trying to calculate how many could fit on a pinhead. "Going to Apokolips might be a
little bit dangerous-."
"
Obviously. But there's something
eminently Apokoliptian
right here that we can test it on!"
"You-? Your Anti-Life fragment. You want them to shoot
you?"
I nod. "I was a little worried that the Elements rewrote the target's mind when their purge function was used, but after speaking to Luna I'm prepared to accept that they
don't. So… Yeah. I'm the best choice of test subject."
"I suppose that makes sense. And… It…
Might work. But I'm not sure that-"
Mother Box, boom tube.
Ping.
"-it works on things that aren't a real-"
BOOM!
"-threat
noGrayvenno!"
I stride out onto the station platform, the Element bearer herd just in front of me and staring ponies all around. And I shut down the boom tube even as Sunset lunges for it.
Rainbow Dash has crouched slightly, sizing me up for her forthcoming assault. Pinkie Pie looks more puzzled than anything, her head slowly rotating clockwise
and I'm going to stop watching in case it keeps going. Applejack is standing nearly still, but is taking the time to loosen her muscles in case of hostilities. Rarity is blinking in surprise, her gaze already moving to my armour. Twilight is frowning, probably trying to work out why I'm here rather than just waiting for them at the palace.
Wait, wasn't there another one a moment ago? Ring,
locate-. Ah, that's where Fluttershy disappeared to, hiding behind the luggage trolley.
Right, can't actually
do magic, but if I focus my desire to crush and destroy through my horn…
There we go, purple bubbles of evil! I flare my wings, and the rubberneckers either flee or seek cover.
"
BAWHAHAHA! I am
Grayven, Alicorn of
Conquest! I'm going to take over Equestria and
when I do, I'm going to ban flying, cakes, apples, clothes, books and-" I
jump, misjudge and have to activate my aero-discs to avoid falling on my face. With their help I land next to the
cowering Fluttershy, crouching down so that my head is level with hers. "-
bunny rabbits."
"Ee!"
She
scrambles away from me,
wings flaring in an instinctive attempt to make her look bigger than she actually is.
I leap to my hooves! "
AND THE ONLY THING THAT CAN STOP ME IS THE ELEMENTS OF-"
Rainbow Dash's forehooves hit me in the chin and I barely feel it. The mare herself wasn't ready for me to remain standing and she grunts in pain as she's knocked off her intended flight path.
"-
HARMONY!"
A loop of rope drops over my head and tightens around my neck. Applejack pulls at the far end of the lasso, and slides across the floor towards me as I anchor myself in place.
Wait. They're not wearing their elements, or…
Check… Carrying them. Blast.
"
BUT THEY ARE IN PONYVILLE, FAR FROM HERE!
AND IN THEIR ABSENCE -the absence of the El-e-ments of Har-mon-y- I AM INVIOLATE!"
Rarity's eye widen. "Twilight! We don't have the Elements-!"
"
AT ANY TIME WITHIN THE NEXT-" Eyes staring, I check the arrivals and departures blackboard. Alright, only one track so it's the same train that leaves that goes back… "-
THREE HOURS-" I turn back to the herd. "-
BEFORE MY SPELL IS COMPLETE, THE ELEMENTS OF HARMONY CAN STOP ME! AT ANY TIME AT ALL. THE ABSOLUTE WORST THING THAT COULD HAPPEN FOR ME IS SOMEONE GOING RIGHT NOW TO FETCH THE ELEMENTS OF HARMONY AND BLASTING ME WITH THEM!"
Pinkie Pie narrows her eyes at me suspiciously. "Wa
it a minute. That's exactly how long it would take us to take a train to Ponyville, visit the library and then take a train back to Canterlot!"
"
THE ONE FLAW IN MY PLAN!"
She beams. "That's really convenient! I wish all our bad guys were like you!"
"YOU'RE WELCOME! IT'S NICE TO BE APPRECIATED!"
Twilight moves her head from Pinkie to me and back again. "But the Elements of Harmony aren't in the library. We had to put them back in the Tree of Harmony-"
The
what?
"-to stop the Plunderseed Vines."
Right… How long would it take to get from Ponyville to… Wherever that 'Tree of Harmony' thing is..? And the next train… Ah… Roughly…
"
THREE HOURS AND THE TWO FURTHER HOURS THE SPELL NEEDS TO FULLY TAKE EFFECT!"
"Wait." Rainbow Dash suddenly looks suspicious. "I think you
want to be blasted with the Elements! Like it's your big master plan and you need them to make it work!"
"
NO!
BEING HIT BY THE ELEMENTS OF HARMONY -THE ONE THING TO WHICH I AM VULNERABLE- IS NOT PART OF A DIABOLICAL MASTER PLAN AT ALL!"
"That's exactly what a diabolical master planner would say!"
"Then
YES, I WANT YOU TO HIT ME WITH THE ELEMENTS OF HARMONY!
TO PROVE THAT I AM MORE POWERFUL THAN HARMONY!
I DEMAND THAT YOU BRING THEM HERE!"
She glare at me. "We're not gunna bring them here just because you tell us to!"
"
YOU WON'T BRING THEM HERE WHEN I TELL YOU NOT TO AND YOU WON'T BRING THEM HERE WHEN I TELL YOU TO!
WHAT WILL IT TAKE TO MAKE YOU BRING THEM HERE?!"
Twilight sits on her haunches and gesticulates with her forehooves. "We
literally can't bring them here."
What?
"
WHY NOT?"