024 - Boss Dude interlude: Balancing Act
Being leader of a small hidden village, he reflects. Is suffering. A headache after another, herding cats -very big and wilful cats, with deadly claws and little sense-, while trying to keep the place from being run over by the great powers of the world.
Sure they have the Blood Prison, which is actually a fairly good deterrent against the big villages. Nobody wants their criminals being released because they pushed Grass too far after all. And then there's the people who are convinced they have a super weapon from the times of the Sage.
They wouldn't be so worried if they knew what the 'super weapon' actually is about, but it works well against the paranoid people of the shinobi world. Nobody wants to risk a… what was the word? Nuclear option? Yes, nobody wants to risk a nuclear option going off without very good reasons.
Which doesn't really do much to keep the village powers themselves from tearing at each other. What in the world possessed the Haizuki elders to try and ostracize the Shimada Heir he'll never understand. At least that's done and dusted. And, by some miracle, there are no new smoldering craters in the village. Small mercies.
And speaking of herding cats, he's the one who gets to deal with the 'geniuses' being born each generation, all of them believing they're the Sage incarnate, with their spushial powers and their far too sharp for their own good intellects. Intellect without wisdom is, maybe, the worst trait combination ever, and he has to deal with it on a daily basis.
Sure, having a bunch of eccentric powerhouses fighting for your village sounds good and all on paper, but handling normal shinobi already is headache-inducing enough. Everytime a new 'genius of a generation' pops up, his hair goes a bit whiter. He actually built a small shrine to whoever merciful god took pity of him when Muku's psych profile came back stating he was a subdued and fairly agreeable individual.
Of course, the little monster who had shown no interest in shinobi life whatsoever had to enroll in the academy anyway and muddle the waters, because he cannot have nice things without somehow things getting even worse. His only relief sometimes is the fact he only has to deal with a small bunch of them. He shudders to think what the five Kages life is like, with their 'villages brimming with talent'. No wonder they're all crazy.
Sometimes… sometimes it's not that hard to put oneself in the Mizukage's shoes. He also has daydreamed about bloodline purges once or twice.
But that's his lot in life, isn't it? He knew what it meant to become leader, and he went for it anyway. It means long sleepless nights, wondering whether a Daimyo will fancy a strip of your land and you'll have to remind their shinobi why the land is yours to begin with. It means mediating between old feuds capable of throwing the village into a civil war if the wrong word is uttered at the wrong time.
It also means he really needs to deal with that unhealthy codependency between Uzumaki and Shimada before someone besides him learns to exploit it and he's suddenly short two valuable assets. And then the older monster will be pissed, and he's not sure where or when the heads will stop rolling.
Because
of course the little monster had to latch to the most troublesome person possible. It wasn't only three of the big five that had a blanket order for anyone of Uzumaki blood. There were a series of independent parties interested in getting their paws on them too, specially young and healthy ones. Usually, he just fends them off either through force or leveraging the specialties of Kusa to make them back off.
That stopped being a viable tactic when, last year, Orochi-I-get-a-boner-murderizing-shinobi-and-playing-around-with-bloodlines-fucking-maru just walked in to have a 'casual talk' with him, making idle comments about his
sword1 that were totally not a threat and doing a fair impression of a meat grinder on his regular forces.
Grass' political deterrences are notably ineffective against missing-nin without any investment in those spheres.
If nothing else, his visit drove home the message that Uzumaki Karin was never going to be a Kusa asset for long. It also took everything the mother had just to save the wounded survivors of the deranged Sannin's 'little social call'. He hadn't lied to the little monster when he said Kurisu had died heroically. Without her intervention, the loss of manpower just from crossing the man would've been catastrophic.
A year ago he'd told the little monster he had to choose between two investments. But the truth is, there was no choice to be made. He's going to lose the Uzumaki to the snake, and has to make sure he didn't lose anything else.
That means separating them after graduation, and doctoring their schedules so they spend as little time together as possible until the inevitable passes. He could've become a world-famous above-jonin shinobi, but he chose the job that involves playing matchmaker for preteens instead.
He has even tried the 'She's a genius you're only holding her back' angle on the Uzumaki, and instead of backing off, the little twerp had doubled down on her own training! He'd had to burn all the psych profiling they had on the girl and hang the author by his toes, because it was all obviously a pile of bullshit.
A puff of smoke on his 'In' tray draws his attention, and he opens the newly arrived scroll in an effort to distract himself for the bullshit that's his life. Another request for the Kusa ANBU.
There is no Kusa ANBU!
"It sure would be nice to have an entire corps dedicated to guarding me and doing the dirty jobs… right Dragon?"
"Why devote an entire corps for something I can do by myself?" The presence of a masked shinobi registers out of nowhere right behind him right as her voice is heard and he has to bite down a curse. He's sure the damn woman is doing it on purpose. "That's a dangerous game you're playing with my daughter."
Oh, so that's what has her pissed off. "You drew the line and I've never crossed it, woman." He retorts, acting with a calmness he's far from feeling. "All my 'i's are dotted and all my 't's are crossed. "
"And as long as that remains true,
I won't act on her behalf." Good, that's all he needs from her on that matter. "But don't expect me to act in yours against her, either. You keep assuming my daughter is me and will react like me. That will be your undoing, in the end."
Yeah, that wasn't ominous at all…
Oh, well, with some luck, the little monster's loyalty will extend to her new teammates and the single-minded focus becomes something a bit more balanced. From there, it won't be too hard to involve the whole village. Besides, he doesn't plan on keeping the seat long enough for the little monster to become a big monster, so there's that.
Worse comes to worst, there's another advantage to keep the two girls separated and under loyal eyes. It's mighty hard to protect someone that spends their life on the other side of the country, isn't it?
Busy as he is planning contingencies it takes a moment to register that Dragon's last words sounded
after she'd already disappeared. A glance around and quick check on his own chakra system reveal no genjutsu. Fucking scary woman.
(1)Kusanagi: Lit. "Grass Cutter".