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With This Ring (Young Justice SI) (Thread Fourteen)

Discussion in 'Creative Writing' started by Mr Zoat, Jan 27, 2019.

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  1. Ngamer11

    Ngamer11 Experienced.

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    I guess it all comes down to being given prior warning by the Motherbox in the Paragon timeline rather than just showing up out of nowhere using a Fatherbox?
     
  2. Darko

    Darko Connoisseur.

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    Renegade actually uses a Motherbox made by Himon after he destroyed Fatherbox.

    However said Motherbox may not be recognized by the others due to not being made on New Genesis or maybe not being connected to some network they share.
     
  3. Signaller

    Signaller Know what you're doing yet?

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    I was more asking about any thaumaturgical / metaphysical consequences.
     
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  4. DrThoth

    DrThoth I trust you know where the happy button is?

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    Deliberately excluding Kalibak in his list? (Don't remember if Kalibak wears red anywhere or not). Also, I really want to see a picture of his costume.

    Are the color tags for the Godspeech part of the original or your way of better distinguishing the two 'voices' at play? Because the colors seem quite appropriate, but I don't know if all the Godspeech in the story has been meant to have color all along and I just missed it.

    Using the Ping effect in Godspeech is a cool way of showing the importance of Mother Box in (relatively) pacifying Orion.

    Renegade should consider diversifying his portfolio to include being the New God of Savage One-Liners.

    What does 'Poisonous Key' mean? I'm assuming it's a reference but can't immediately find anything when searching it.

    I did feel that last segment, Renegade wasn't properly appreciating the usefulness of having a God of Freedom on your side when fighting a God of Conquest; Earth 50's Scott helped out a lot with that version of Grayven after all (I think, anyway...I'd have to reread that episode to be sure of all the details). I hope the eventual fight is sufficiently different from the last Conquest God throwdown to still be interesting to read.
     
  5. Handlewithcare

    Handlewithcare Versed in the lewd.

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    Unsourcerly!

    Why, the mouth on Orion! Such dastardly insults! Darkseid will be clutching his pearls!

    Also, that burn Grayven delivered. Daaaaamn.
     
  6. Chojin Patriarch

    Chojin Patriarch Veteran Lurker

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    Says the man in bright red, dayglow yellow and vivid green? I know, I know, stage gear turned super-heroing outfit. Unfortunately, even as a great Jack Kirby design, it still looks like a colour-blind lucheador's ring wear. :p

    Huh, wearing something casual for once? I hope it's suitably non-threatening.

    "...It's comfortable. And warm. Is that a crime?"

    Yes, turning up in gear that just screams 'Come have a go' might send the wrong message.

    If anyone doesn't know, that particular motion is a clear challenge in horse body language. She is in a fighting mood.

    Time to break out the lace and crinoline! Go on, make him regret this blank cheque... :D

    Aw, no revenge via fashion disaster. Still, at least he'll look good.

    To be fair, most ponies don't have family names. Beyond a common theme, anyway, like the Apple clan.

    Now that's a challenge. Durable yet elegant, hard-wearing without being armoured...

    Throwing yourself on her mercy and getting a good outfit from it? Typical Renegade trolling.

    Come on, Rarity... Lace and Crinoline. :sneaky: You know you want to...

    To be fair, Kalibak's usually associated with Green, these days... But pre-flashpoint, he did favour a particularly bloody shade of red...

    "Yes, it's legit. I still say this is a bad idea..."

    Lead the way, Tank.

    The lack of fearful running or harried yelling might make that a little less likely an assumption...

    ...But the Renegade is still less squishy. And they would probably still shoot first, ask questions of what's left after, if at all.

    True. Less outright displays of conquest, but they still rule their neighbours. They just don't do it with an iron rod...

    Oh look, they've already noticed.

    So, a bit more like the post-flashpoint version. Less Kirby block of muscle and more 'potential Wonder Woman suitor'... The Astro-harness, for those new to the New Gods, is a combination of flight rig and energy weaponry, powered by Orion himself.

    He probably just wanted to make sure where the targets were... While he's not concerned with collateral damage and all, Highfather might have words for him later.

    Note the godspeech: His immense anger is usually held in check by a dedicated Mother Box...

    ...A very dedicated Mother Box. Also, not really helping your case, Scott. You're making it sounds like you're holding a grudge, and well...

    ...Orion's hatred of Apokalips and all who come from it is infamous. I don't think he's in any way going to be sensible about this...

    Nope, not sensible at all. The only reason he missed is probably orders. Not one for warning shots, is Orion.

    Maybe try a quieter entrance, direct into Izaya's chambers? Preferably waving whatever signs of surrender that New Genesis would recognise? Assuming he isn't like the 'Darkseid with better publicity' of the Post-Flashpoint era...

    Hmm... Interesting parting shot from Scott. Leaving a stinging reminder that will make Orion curious, or just sour grapes?

    <Sigh> Even with a totally non-threatening demeanour and outfit, The Renegade still manages to antagonise a potential ally... You just can't help yourself, can you?

    You'd hate for the pony's nice work to be ruined, after all. One the upside, you did wear it once.

    Ouch. There's burning bridges, and then there's nuking them while you're standing on them, Renegade.

    :rolleyes: You just couldn't help yourself, could you?

    Back to fleet preparations, and maybe some mine-laying, eh?

    Welp. So much for meeting Highfather. I'd say that particular pool has been well and truly poisoned, hasn't it? At best, all the Renegade can hope for now from New Genesis is a probing party looking into this 'odd Grayven'. I hope the Mother Boxes at least had a good private chat while the monkeys were flinging poo, so that the real story can be gotten across.
     
  7. DrThoth

    DrThoth I trust you know where the happy button is?

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    I feel like luring Orion into the fray when the real Grayven shows up and then immediately peacing out can be a viable plan (or at least a troll move I'd love to see); just got to find the proper outlet for that rage.
     
    Last edited: Jun 10, 2021
  8. Ngamer11

    Ngamer11 Experienced.

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    I noticed that this image link is the only one that still doesn't work among the ones I pointed out. What could it even be though? A superhero team that came together after the Justice Society, but before the Justice League, that isn't Infinity Inc.?
     
  9. NightmareWarden

    NightmareWarden Versed in the lewd.

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    Leave! A! Letter!

    Let this planet reach out to you on *their* terms in the near future.
     
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  10. Mr Zoat

    Mr Zoat Dedicated ragequitter

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    They met after he took part is rescuing the Forever People from Apokolips.
    Thank you, corrected.
    No, the first bit of the sentence was 'I don't know'.
    No, he's just really angry all of the time and has accepted in his own mind that those feelings are okay when it comes to Apokolips.
    No idea.
     
  11. Ngamer11

    Ngamer11 Experienced.

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    A good impression and people who can vouch for Scott, nice. Too bad neither are available in the Renegade timeline.
     
  12. Darko

    Darko Connoisseur.

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    Kaibak tends to wear green.

    I remember he fought some New God that worked with Grayven and who basically wore a black version of his Mr. Miracle costume.

    To be fair to him, given everything about Apokalips, he's not completely wrong.
     
    Last edited: Jun 10, 2021
  13. Darko

    Darko Connoisseur.

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    He did wear green even in the pre Flashpoint era.

    Though I mostly remember that from the Superman and Justice League cartoons.

    Even the n52 version was honorable, albeit very ruthless.

    And even if he's not so ruthless, he may not take it so well if they just showed up.

    He may talk to Scott, albeit after he leaves Renegade as a bloody smear on the floor.

    Not to mention his chambers may be defended from unwanted intrusions.

    No, he really can't.

    Renegade has a supply of nukes, along with chemical and biological weapons.

    Let's take a moment and appreciate what those two Boxes are doing and the burden of their duty.

    One needs to keep a violent man in check, while the other one needs to stay near renegade.

    Poor Renegade's MotherBox.
     
    Last edited: Jun 10, 2021
  14. Darko

    Darko Connoisseur.

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    If I remember correctly, I think it was some kind of superhero family that was standing in front of a mirror.

    But that's all I remember.
     
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  15. Stsword

    Stsword Versed in the lewd.

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    Actually I believe that would be a superhero team that predates the JSA.

    So my initial thought would be Shadowpact- Shadowpact was shown to be the name of several superhero teams, both from the past and the future.

    Like the Shadowpact of 1908- Adept, Civit, Fairy Queen, Mr Meteor, and Mrs Prescott.

    Demon Knights is too modern for Zoat's usual tastes, after all.

    Maybe the League of Ancients, since he made them Black Adam's old team instead of JLA villains.
     
  16. rkyeun

    rkyeun Cabbitus Maximus

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    Ahhh, I get it.
    Orion is the New God of Bigotry.
     
  17. Darko

    Darko Connoisseur.

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    Technically he's the New God of Glorious War.

    He just hates Apokalips.
     
  18. WereDragon

    WereDragon Bookwyrm

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    The non-gods of New Genesis might not be living particularly productive or ‘good’ lives… but they are generally happy, or at least contented. Comparing NG to the suffering generator that is Apokolips is like comparing having old bargain-basement furniture to being stabbed on a daily basis.
     
  19. Hell's Razer

    Hell's Razer Passive Member

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    I think it was less mine-laying and more
    this.
     
  20. DrThoth

    DrThoth I trust you know where the happy button is?

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    Mr Zoat, is there any chance that Orion actually considered Renegade's words (kind of valid, even if they were designed to bait him), or just dismissed them because of their speaker's identity?

    Or should I assume the answer 'The Renegade doesn't know'?
     
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  21. Darko

    Darko Connoisseur.

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    I'm leaning more towards the second one.

    Though Zoat would give the 'doesn't know' answer.
     
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  22. Mr Zoat

    Mr Zoat Dedicated ragequitter

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    The Renegade would think it extremely unlikey. At most, he might expect him to relay them accurately to Highfather.
     
  23. WaleXdraK

    WaleXdraK Not too sore, are you?

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    Did Renegade purposely pissed off Orion and then opened a Boom tube on the path Grayven will take to attack the Vegas System so Him and Orion will meet and fight each others?
     
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  24. Mr Zoat

    Mr Zoat Dedicated ragequitter

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    No, but Orion being enraged was a predictable outcome so he had a plan for how to deal with it.
     
  25. lars

    lars Avid reader

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    which episode did have earth 50 Scott and Barda attacking Grayven?
     
  26. Darko

    Darko Connoisseur.

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    Episode 41. Date Night.

    The last two renegade chapters.
     
  27. Mr Zoat

    Mr Zoat Dedicated ragequitter

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    I don't know what the original was, but I've put in a picture of the League of Ancients.
     
  28. Michael Vonica

    Michael Vonica Know what you're doing yet?

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    I might just not be looking hard enough, but is there any general place for recommendations on stories I could go to after catching up on With This Ring? I don't really care about whether it's a fanfic or not, or even the setting, just that it has a similar character and tone. The general idea of the main character recognizing problems in the world and trying to solve or prevent them in a rational way.
     
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  29. Someguy Somewhere

    Someguy Somewhere The Critical Fumbler

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    Well, Discworld gets a few mentions as being some of Zoat's preferred reading material. It's got a ...passing...familiarity with rationality. In that anyone with even the slimiest shred of common sense is horrified of the 'we are flying through space on the the back of 4 elephants atop a turtle' levels of insanity of the place. And each goes about dealing with it in their own ways. These ways may be Running away from terrifying things, getting drunk and arresting things, applying psychological pressures to things so they go away....or being DEATH and just shrugging his shoulder bones at it all as he goes about his job.
     
  30. Threadmarks: Onslaught (part 12)
    Mr Zoat

    Mr Zoat Dedicated ragequitter

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    25th August 2012
    00:40 GMT


    The juluuni are an omnivorous species who look a little like oversized pangolins. Their distant forebears were burrowers, but they didn't burrow deeply. According to archival data from before the Reach conquered them they tended to live in shallow subterranean homes and be completely ruthless about adapting their environment to suit them. Even after they developed the technology to detect mineral deposits underground with reasonable precision, they actually preferred to strip mine. By the time they developed faster than light travel their homeworld had no more mountains, a fact which can't be explained by efficiency.

    And no one has seen one for about four hundred years, when the last surviving settlement they had away from their homeworld was absorbed by the Reach. Their actual homeworld was absorbed nearly two thousand years ago.

    The ships I'm looking at match the general outline of the files we have for their ships. The larger ships are essentially cones, the pointy part covered with guns. Their FTL drives are supposed to be pretty good -precise, if not all that fast- and their sublight manoeuvrability is relatively poor. They never really had anything to do with the Controllers and none of them have ever served in the Darkstars.

    I take a look around. Eight battleships, none of which are on record as having existed while they were still autonomous. Twenty cruisers, and about five hundred automated gunships. They use those instead of more conventional fighters, and according to my records are quite happy to just dump them and move the larger ships off without them. They act more like mobile flack than conventional fighters and exhibit only fairly simple behaviour. It's a decent sized force. Unless they've brought Scarab Warriors along then Orange Lanterns could handle it, but a L.E.G.I.O.N. fleet would take casualties. Assuming that they could get into position fast enough. I'm not.. seeing any Reach naval vessels, so I'm not clear where their fleet would be retreating to when we started going after it…

    I don't think I can learn any more with passive scans. Originally, none of these ships had anything that could interfere significantly with the effects of a power ring, so let's have a go.

    Scans show… Shields, weapons and power all slightly improved. FTL… Altered but not strictly improved. It will allow them to make short FTL journeys more quickly but will fall off in performance if they try to travel longer distances. Which.. means… Aggressive deployment. Not hitting and running. Jump into the area, jump into contact, jump into bombardment position before reinforcements arrive… But if they get caught, they're done. The Reach don't design their own ships to work like that. Their people aren't disposable. Their commanders want the option to pull out and try again another day. These ships don't really have that.

    Perhaps more importantly, I have enough information to know that I can destroy this fleet without much difficulty. There's no obvious reason to preserve any of the crew, but genetic samples will allow their species to be resurrected later if we decide to take that route. Grab a few samples for the-

    Drives flare and the fleet vanishes.

    -l.. ab..?

    Where are-? There they are, not too far away. Not sure why they carried out a short jump. Practice? Security? They've left their gunships behind and they're… Patrolling?

    They're irrelevant. With stealth less of an imperative now that I'm not leaving a trail back towards my base ship I don't have to move quite so slowly. I mimic the effects of their FTL drives and go after them, appearing within a few metres of the hull of one of the battleships. Their shields… Are designed to block phasing objects, but their launch bays need to drop their shields in order to launch… There they go. And.. through

    Since the launch bay isn't designed for people, it isn't anything like as spacious as normal launch bays. The factory units spit the gunships almost directly out of the mothership, the rest stacked one atop the other off to the side. But the area is accessible by engineering crews, so there's a door… With no anti-phasing shielding. I fly through there and start looking for somewhere to access the internal computer network.

    The corridors are fairly roomy, which, again, is a feature their ships used to have. Short range scans pick up scale-fragments and DNA, but I won't actually take physical samples until it's time to act openly. I'm not seeing anything that would easily detect me, but all it would take is one scarab attached to one of the crew and the jig would be up.

    Here we go. Maintenance hatch. Locked, but there's no force field and.. no damage detection in the structure of the metal. I take position, phase in and trigger my armour to extrude an exploratory cable, which punches through the hatch and worms its way down and inside. Cable there, carefully interface and link in…

    I can't request data. For that I'd need log in details or to interface directly with the central database. But I can monitor data traffic and see what's going on.

    And the answer is… Not a lot. Internal monitoring doesn't appear to refer to the central computer on a routine basis, which would be a weakness in some circumstances but doesn’t make much difference for me. Gunship production figures are being sent, but only an automatic acknowledgement is being sent back.

    Ah, none of this matters. A hundred or a thousand won't make any difference to me. I need to find the crew, examine them and then destroy the ships. Nothing I'm getting identified the crew's location, but empathic vision… There, that'll do.

    I withdraw the cable and fly in the direction of what appears to be an engineering workshop. Out of combat these are usually fairly quiet, while in combat they'll be a frantic hub of repair requests and damage control teams. If they're waiting for attack orders then they shouldn't be running drills because the last thing they'd want is to have anyone out of position when the shooting starts, but that doesn't mean that they'll have a full house.

    No one in the corridors, but I don't know enough about their fleet doctrine to know how unusual that is. Their shields should block most forms of teleportation so they might well have decided that marine patrols were superfluous, and since this is a warship there wouldn't necessarily be a lot of traffic. Door to the engineering station is through there

    Ah, my first juluuni. It looks like they're working to turn ore into refined metals, but taking a look…

    Huh.

    Okay, it seems that I was being a bit too harsh on the Reach. Someone deviated from the 'acquiescent, quiescent, obsolescent' paradigm. These people aren't just suppressed, they genuinely don't have desires outside being useful to the Reach any longer. Their neurology has been redesigned… Yes, and their genes as well to ensure that future generations are the same. Their endocrine system has had a bit of a rework…

    So. This is what the Reach has planned for us. The propaganda value will be significant if I can grab a few and record their responses to interviews. But there's no point in grabbing these individuals…

    Huh. For a moment I'm reminded of what Zauriel said about angels. 'I am uncertain as to whether my mind is truly more limited than that of a deeply devout Human. What do you believe that free will means? What is it that you think that I lack?'

    I mean, I haven't seen a Reachian since I got here, and a look out across the fleet shows me no one with their particular desire set-up. Scan instead… Yes, no-

    "BLAUGH-IGH! BLAUGH-IGH!"

    -sign of them, but that did set off the alarms and flashing warning lights. And-. And that was a jump; the fleet moved again. So they have a way to detect ring scans, and my initial scan may well have been the reason for the last jump. It might be interesting to have Ranx or Mother of Mercy use their rings to do extreme range scans of the entirety of Reach space and see what happens.

    Any sense in drawing this out further? No, I don't think so.

    I drop stealth, construct spears impaling the engineers in this section. A thick construct cable worms its way into the local computers and begins demanding data, while a crumbler construct punches its way through the multiple decks between me and the computer core. There are all sorts of protocols for wiping computers during boarding actions, but the fact is that if you wipe your own computers every five minutes it's very hard to get anything done. There has to be a delay while a report is confirmed, and it isn't that easy to-.

    There's a flare as a fission explosion destroys the computer core. And… We've dropped shields and-. And the room shakes slightly as the rest of the fleet starts shooting at us.

    Alright then. If

    that's all it

    takes, I'll take this ship's computer core into subspace and

    then try

    this ship's bridge crew.
     
    Last edited: Jun 11, 2021
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