Canis nods. "All are doomed before the omnipotent malevolence of Darkseid. We are caught in a trap we cannot perceive."
Eris looks at him curiously. "Darkwho?"
Somehow, I am not surprised she's ignorant of someone so
orderly. Or she's just
teasing.
I shake my head more as I see Canis's eyes twitch. "Don't get him started."
"Okay. Fine." She cranes her neck towards me. "But he's doomed, yeah?"
Well, 'Doomed' has so many
possible meanings, death being just a
tiny selection of them.
"I have no plans to kill Zeus."
"So is it Ice Giants?" She squints. "Or is that too obvious? Too obvious. Fire G-? No, stupid-."
No, no, Wrong pantheon. You're thinking of the Aesir's foes. Greek
Giants tend to be less elemental.
"I have-."
"Giant-! Lightning rod-! And a magic pokéball!"
Hmm... Zeus would
have to be an Electric-type, surely. Any possibilities for his secondary type? Fairy?
"Too obvious, too direct, and I already promised Diana that I wouldn't fight Zeus."
Canis gives her a mild frown. "I would have guessed that a chaos goddess would be more appreciative of surprise."
I think she enjoys the joke more when she's in on it...
"It's nervous energy. Zeus screwed the centaur and this time it's metaphorical! A-. What'd you call it? Dysfunctional order that would have been overturned centuries ago if anyone cared about it is about to get flipped."
"Can I assume that you're interested in taking a swing at him?"
Is she having premonitions that are making her weak at the knees? Because I can see that happening.
She frowns, clearly baffled. "No! Taking crazy risks is what humans are for! I'm just gunna watch. 'cause… This is gunna be hilarious."
And breathe in. And hold. And breath-.
...Oooh,
wrong thing to say, little lady.
Eris has taken several steps away from us. "Okay, what was that?"
"You. You want chaos? You want disorder? You want things to change? Get involved. Put something on the line. Be true to your stated beliefs. Because if you don't, that's it. I'm finding a new god. I'll see what Discordia is doing. Or-."
Her Roman equivalent.

And wouldn't
that be an insult, huh? Hmm... What
other worthwhile deities of Chaos (in the revolutionary sense) are there out there? I expect Loki is
indisposed...
"Hey! No, it's not-! Look, it's Zeus, okay? If I had a good idea how to get rid of him I'd already have done it! I don't know how to fight him, and I'm not powerful enough to just… Pick him up and throw him in the pig pen!"
"This isn't going to be a direct fight. I'm not asking you to beat Zeus for me, I'm just asking you to actively participate in the plotting. Like you did when we went after Klarion."
Heh. Well, now we know
why she prefers to play the court jester.
"Oh, this is not the same-."
"Is the idea of changing making you uncomfortable? Do you want to go and hide in your comfort zone?"
Heh. Only OL would think to badger and chastise his patron goddess like
this. She's being
less than ideal? Piss her off until she pulls her fingers out.
She glares, something about her eyes… I think I'm dimly perceiving the goddess pretending to be a normal woman. For a moment I feel like the hard pavement I'm walking on is moving or… About to move, like one of my feet could just drop through the hard surface, or… Slide away, all my certainties undone.
"The whole point is overseeing chaos created by mortals. I didn't think you wanted gods controlling your lives."
...And just when you think she's just a little prankster... Reminds me of the Noughties
Sinbad movie, which featured a scarily
powerful Eris... Her realm's environment
flowed like that there...
"If there was a god trying to control my life I'd deal with that god. I want you involved."
Her face goes slightly blank, then she smiles, pleased, and the floor is solid once more. Or at least it's disguising that it's not. "Really?"
Yeah, having seen how OL deals with
problems... I can see her wanting none of
that.
"You're as much a part of my project as Hephaestus or Plutus, and you're the one I chose as my patron. This is the same as getting Hephaestus to work with arcane engineering or Ploutos to review my economic plans. You're my first choice adviser."
Her eyes narrow, but this time it's more playful. "Prove it."
Ah, there's the Eris we love. The silly tease.
I bow, then lunge forward and lift her up onto my right shoulder before chasing after Canis towards… Towards a grim and foreboding tower reaching up towards the faux sky.
"I thought you were gunna grab my boobs! That would have demonstrated you'd overcome your hang-ups about sexuality and the human form! And that you didn't care what that assassin girl thinks about it!"
Except he very much
does care. I doubt even he would want the challenge of explaining
that to his fiancee.
"Grab your own boobs."
"You're bouncing me up and down and I tossed my bra! You think I'm not?"
Well, no-one
asked you to ditch your togs. Can't you just magic-up a fresh top?
"I've overcome my hang-ups to the point where I don't feel the need to prove it. It's emotional intimacy that I crave. Any advice on handling Hecate?"
"You've got two shoulders. Ooh, try pulling her hair! She loves that!"
...Ri
iiight. Best to do the exact
opposite of whatever she says, OL.
Canis dismounts and walks into the tower through the open front door. I leave Eris hanging where she is as I follow him. The interior is… An alchemist shop? Jar-covered shelves containing a variety of parts of plants and animals, and tables with various primitive pieces of chemistry equipment. Does she just want her supplies on-hand?
"Lady Hecate?" I look around. "Might I request an audience?"
...Wait, has Hekate become an
Atelier? Hey, it's a
living.
Canis peers at one of the shelves, clearly not impressed. "This is far more archaic that I expected. Is this not your people's Goddess of Magic? Is she as backwards as the women of Themyscira?"
"No." I look around as… A woman in a purple dress in the medieval European style shuts the door behind us. Her hair is grey and done up in… I don't know what the name is; both flowing and having a pony tail. The skin of her face is a little darker than the Amazon average, and wrinkled as if she's lived a long life under the sun. She looks mature but not really old; it's a look many Amazons have. "But this is only the first floor."
Canis, best to keep your pie-hole
shut before you insult someone you can't ignore...
I bow, both arms by my sides. Naturally this causes Eris to land on the floor on her bottom.
"Lady Hecate." I straighten, and… She's younger, her skin more taut and her hair longer. Her dress likewise has changed, the style closer to the beginning of the 20th century. "I would like to barter for knowledge."
Ah, we're encountering the tripartite-goddess, then.
"Lord Illustres. An ironic name for one so difficult to see."
Still the same woman. Or goddess, or titan. Of course if she's a titan, then what I'm seeing-.
...Is merely the tiniest
avatar of her full power. A finger-puppet dipped into four-dimensional reality.
"I believe that the maiden is next. Should I blink or look away?"
She laughs quietly, raising her right hand and dipping her head as she pushes her hair back over her right ear. "Are you sure that this is not my maidenly aspect?"
Don't go making a comment about her age, OL...
"I have essentially no interest in mysticism. I just want to make it a little easier for you to do whatever it is you feel the need to do."
"The form you see is drawn from your own expectations, so it is really more of a question of what you feel the need to do."
Heh. I'm surprised he isn't seeing a young woman in a lab coat, if that's how it works.
"I feel the need for information. What titan does Zeus use to boost himself?"
"And what do you offer in exchange?"
I mean, I doubt she hasn't been keeping up with the latest news in thaumaturgical sciences from places like Atlantis. Heck, she probably likes him on principle just for what little he's done to nudge humanity into arcanotech.
"What do you want? I can give you anything from thaumaturgy texts to more rubber beach toys."
"And if I want to see the titans liberated?"
...That might be a little
harder to swing...
Ah.
"I think I'd need to know more about the titanomachy than I do now to make that decision."
Yes, information! Information good!