3rd December 2282
11:43 GMT
That was very useful.
'The Brethren' are a fundamentalist millennialist Christian sect that have been spreading out from their home in Portsmouth, and are the main competition for the Anglican church in the region.  According to Sarah, if I didn't want to pay a newsagent (an information gatherer and seller, not a retailer of newspapers and magazines) then the next best place to find out what's going on is the local vicar.
When I asked about other Christian denominations I was told that Rome was completely destroying in the Resource Wars.  Then there was too much fighting for a new papal conclave and once the EU fell apart each of the countries with a significant Catholic population nominated their own Pope.  Even today there are occasional messages to the faithful from four different Popes, each decrying the others.  Most Catholic diocese in Britain attached themselves to the Anglican Church until that mess sorts itself out, because while the national government is widely considered to have collapsed, the Church hasn't.  And because our Catholic archbishop had more sense than to nominate himself.
And by 'widely considered'…  It turns out that Queen Elizabeth III is still alive, a jolly impressive feat given that she was queen before the Resource Wars and is even older than Robert House.  With no parliament, she's 
theoretically assumed supreme executive authority.  In practice their writ runs pretty thin outside of London, but for 
some reason they sent a company of soldiers to install someone as Lord of Brighton.
Brighton, of all places.
And while I.. was sort of thinking of just picking up a priest who didn't mind travelling, I think that having a conversation with Lord Harold Windsor would be a productive use of my time.  Because in terms of giving the country a functioning government, creating a parliament that acknowledges the monarch as sovereign but retains most of the power is a lot easier if there's only one possible monarchical candidate and they're someone most people recognise as being the monarch, even if that recognition is mostly theoretical.
Which is why the stealth system is 
off and I'm flying along the Brighton seafront, giving everyone a good eyeful.  A lot more fishing boats than I remember there being, which I suppose makes sense.  They've got to be getting food from somewhere, and with the various wars reducing the human population so much the fish stocks would have either recovered or been killed by the radiation-.
I blink as I see a giant carcass being butchered on the quay, near one of the larger fishing boats.  It looks like a.. large whale, with glowing nodules along its sides.  Stand on guard nearby is a squad of 
Life Guards armed with.. German gauss rifles.  
Interesting choice, as they're dependant on European batteries rather than the fusion batteries which the American rip off uses.  Still a very dangerous gun, as long as the power holds out.
Yes, they've seen me, and their squad leader is directing them to take aim.  Have we got a radio frequency..?  Yes, yes we do.
"Krono to Life Guard.  Krono to Life Guard.  Please respond."
"This is a restricted military frequency.  And you're probably used a contraband radio, aren't you, you horrible little man?"
"I have an alien spaceship armed with giant cannons."  I slow the saucer, angling it to that I can point the disintegrator cannons at them at a moment's notice, because I'm pretty sure that the gauss guns can pierce the hull and I'm relying on the saucer's inertial shield and my own ability to slam on the accelerator if they actually fire.  "And I'd like you to take me to your leader."
"You some sorta goddam alien comedian?  'Take me to your sodding leadah' indeed."
"It seemed appropriate."
"It's a 
cliché.  You could have said 
anything, and the best you could do was a 'The Day The Earth Stood Still' quote." 
"You seem to be taking this rather personally."
"You just spoiled aliens for me.  I'm over two hundred years old, and just when it looks like something interesting is about to happen for the first time in 
bloody ages, it turns out that the alien flying machine is being flown by a 
moron."
"That's-.  That's a little hurtful, but I'll try and be more creative in future."
"No, it's too late, you ruined it.  What do ya want?"
"Um.  Well, I flew here from Nevada-"
"Of 
course you did.  Area Fifty-One?  You don't just 
quote clichés, you fucking 
live them!"
…
Canopy.
I jump down, falling through the air and landing in front of the Life Guard squad, inertia shield flaring as it absorbs-
"A 
superhero landing?!"
-the kinetic energy of my impact.
"Yes."  I rise from my crouch, glaring at the sergeant with the portable radio.  "It 
was."
Ah.  That's something I hadn't spotted before.  Not only is the sergeant a ghoul -which, yes, was the most likely explanation for him being over two hundred years old- but all of the Life Guard are.  The dock workers and butchers are regular humans, and appear to be torn between grabbing improvised weapons and watching a piece of novel street theatre.
The sergeant marches forward, passing the closer soldiers who have their guns readied but not yet aimed, and glares at me.
"What's your name, son?"
"Krono."
He stares at me for a moment, then-
"Hah!"
-actually looks and sounds amused.
"You 
certainly committed to the sodding bit, didn't you?  That's exactly the sort of thing he'd say and do in the bleedin' comics.  Only question is-"  He raises his gauss rifle and levels it at my head.  "-what makes you think I 
won't do exactly what those idiots in the comics should do the moment they see him?"
"My ship's fire controls have a dead man's switch."
"You overestimate how much I want to be alive.  It's been a boring and frankly 
painful two hundred years, and you've actually 
annoyed me."
"Because his lordship will be annoyed that he didn't get to make the decision himself?"
"But if I'm dead, how is that 
my problem?"
I reach out psychically for the gauss gun and detach the capacitor from the magnetic coil.  And then I check for an alternate charging mechanism, just in case.  No, I'm good.
I shrug nonchalantly.  "I guess you better shoot me then."
"I guess I-"  There's a 'click' as he pulls the trigger.  "-had-?"
Slowly, very slowly, the coilgun round drifts down the bore due to the coil having been weakly magnetised, then falls out of the barrel.
The two of us look at it on the ground.
I suck in air through my teeth, nodding sagely.  "Yeah, I hear that can be a problem for men your age."
A peal of laughter runs through the people watching, and more than a few of the Life Guard are smirking.
"Hm."
A fraction of a second and his sidearm is pointing at my face as my plasma pistol is at his.
"Just like the comics, huh?"
"Yes."  I give him a 
very small nod.  "And what do you think would happen in the comics if someone tried this?"
His eyes narrow.  "What do you want, you living, third rate comic villain?"
"To find out what's been happening in my dear home country while I've been in America, to see if I can find any members of my family, and to acquire a priest to perform my marriage ceremony."
"That sounds convoluted enough to be a third rate villain plot.  But if you've been to the States, his lordship probably 
does need to talk to you."
"Right then."
…
…
…
"So which one of us puts our gun down first?"