Xx_BoneIdle_xX
Versed in the lewd.
- Joined
- Apr 4, 2017
- Messages
- 2,099
- Likes received
- 5,514
It seems like the author agrees with you (since he trashed the place quite good imo)!
Follow along with the video below to see how to install our site as a web app on your home screen.
Note: This feature may not be available in some browsers.
It seems like the author agrees with you (since he trashed the place quite good imo)!
"I took it from him, so yes, it once was, but no more. It was mine from that point to this, and now it is yours, Harry. Take care not to lose it."
"might as well have done"
Fawkes.
Lucius.
Were was this one in the story?
Here:Were was this one in the story?
I've reread it so many times this last week, my eyes are just skimming over the words at this point.
Even as the blast was still echoing though the castle, two more Death Eaters came flying in on brooms, Nimbus 2001s if Harry wasn't mistaken. Flitwick cast a 'Densissima' charm on the air in front of one of them, turning it into a viscus mass, similar to thick, invisible syrup. Normally, this wouldn't be a problem, just slowing you down and making you work to move, but at the speed they were flying, he might as well of did a bellyflop off Gryffindor tower onto the ground. He smashed into the glob, losing consciousness, before slowly sinking to the bottom of the mass, and then falling to the ruble strewn ground.
I do hope there's a proofreading step in there somewhere.Thankfully, all I've got left is a POV from Rita Skitter and some notes before posting on FFN.
There is, me rereading it a dozen times and hoping that I see the mistakes before my eyes start to glaze. I've sadly had a lot of trouble with the proofreaders I've had in the past. Honestly, it's one of the reasons I started to post here before I update on FFN.
After a brief pause, "I also had to deal with an additional quest that Dobby personally brought in." he added in a subdued voice as he opened the door to what could only be the Hospital wing.
"How did Dobby get…" Madam Bones started to say, but cut off at a shake of Dumbledore's head.
There were about a dozen beds with kids of various ages in them, six visible Aurors, two people who Phil decided had to be school nurses or doctors. And in a separate corner, off by themselves was Hermione laying in a bed and two other boys sitting on the two adjacent beds whispering to each other. Sitting on the bed with Ron was an adult witch listening to them speak to each other. Her presence was clearly not anticipated by Madam Bones or the Weasleys. As both Mr Weasley and Madam Bones sent looks at Dumbledore while Emma and Mrs Weasley hurried over. "As I said," the Headmaster stated, Dobby brought in an additional quest."
Thank you. How do you like it so far?
Actually, yes it was.Is the entire chapter meant to be italicised? It makes it rather hard to read.
That may look good in a regular chapter, but seeing how an interlude is all someone else's POV, maybe use italics to show it's the words/thoughts of someone other than the chapter's POV character.Actually, yes it was.
Whenever I do a POV other than Harry, I italicize that portion. It helps create a mental divide between viewpoints. Or so I've been told by other writers who do it. Since it always worked for me, I took up the habit.
It's also supposed to be part of the greater chapter, so it might not look right on it's own.
Pretty sure you meant Goyle there."Thank you." Crabbe said, voice barely above a whisper, relief and gratitude writ large on his face. "Thank you. I'm sure Millicent would thank you as well if she could work up the courage. I…" He cut himself off and stood there for several seconds. "Thank you." And then he turned and walked away, back to his table.
Of all the things that have changed from my initial outline, this did not. It was one of the 3 scenes I had partially written when I first started the story. Glad you liked it.Man, literal years I've been waiting to find out what happened to Hermoine and it turns out to be a red herring. Actually startled a laugh out of me when she said it.
The only 2 of those I recognize are Lex and Palpatine. I assume Ras is Rasigul from Batman, but not sure. I actually don't know much about DC beyond the basic history that was around in the 80's and the Lantern wars. My lnowledge of Marvel and Image are up to around 2010with a hit in the 90's were I gave up on comics. Really glad I stopped bothering in 2010 from things I've read about since. It's one of the reasons I decided to just have had Hermione not interested in fiction when growing up beyond the really common knowledge like Batman is Bruce Waine, but have no clue about any of Alfred's back story (she might not even be able to name Alfred). And I don't think I'm stretching HP canon by his uncle keeping him from reading such 'useless' garbage.Hit most of the fictional characters I'd look at. Maybe Lex, Ras, and Vandal from DC for their talents in scheming, though they do get thwarted often. Littlefinger would be around in the mid 90s, but they'd be less likely to hear about him. Papa Palpatine, completely ignoring the force, that's a consummate politician there.
THANK YOU! That was more than a little embarrassing.Woof.CrabbeGoyle thanking Ron for killing his dad. Right in the feels.
Pretty sure you meant Goyle there.
Still leaves me curious as to all the temporal activity on campus. While it could be the shadow clones (something I've seen more than once in Naruto fiction was that actually being a space-time technique) Dobby's monologue while finishing off Rita leads me to think otherwise.
Edit: And now that I've actually read part three, I'm thinking it wasn't time travel that caused that disturbance, but the elimination of possible futures...
Unless of course that Ironfeather happens to know Legilimency, and is completely aware of what goes on at the SGC from Sgt Syler, and now Jack jr. And is fully aware of just how quickly they can put pieces together.Edit Edit: Ironfeather felt spot on there, nothing suspicious at all and just the right ambiguous tone I'd expect from someone discussing the magical world among mundanes. Unless you've edited it since you originally posted, I can't see why he would feel the need to obliviate them.
As I mentioned to moontheir4, I'm limited to my own knowledge.I could see the girls having various series of books. Dune, LoTR, DiscWorld, Lensman, tHGttG, Ring World (Niven/Known Space), Vorkosigan Sage (Cordelia's Honor, and Young Miles), Gold Digger, Honor Harrington, and Telzey Amberdon.
You have 3 girls, and they don't all have to have the same books or exact interests. These being girls, I can see them reading Vorkosigan Sage, Gold Digger, Honor Harrington, and Telzey Amberdon. They have strong female leads and all that.
Telzey Amberdon is an older series out in the 60s and 70s. Basically think psionic rich daddy's girl. Dad is a lawyer. She roams around in her own ship a lot. Psionics is rare, and the government's secret psionics branch recruits the girl. She becomes a secret troubleshooter for those sorts of issues.
Gold Digger has the first two volumes out. Gina Digger is basically what you get if you combined Tony Stark and Lara Croft. Gina is the mad scientist tomb raider. She has a sister that is a fighter. They end up with a magically created sibling who is a blend of the two.
Cordelia's Honor sticks in the memory a bit better. Cordelia is an extremely well-trained ship captain from the most advanced group in the setting. They have some rather open mores as well.
I'd be curious to see Ron and Hermione doing the L2 Lensmen thing. Is it biology or would mind magic be enough to emulate it? Considering SG cross, I could easily see lensmen being a route to ascending.
Dune has lots of interesting characters and themes going for it. I'm curious who they'd pick from it.
I could actually see Hermione mentioning various scifi series that she has heard about and then making a list to skim. She might not have read much fiction, but I'm sure she's walked through those shelves and read most of the titles.
They should pick some characters from Dr. Who.
Would Hermione have watched Blake's 7? She'd be the only one to know of it.
By the way, I misread this in my first reply.Edit: And now that I've actually read part three, I'm thinking it wasn't time travel that caused that disturbance, but the elimination of possible futures...
or just bad (LotR (I could never get beyond the dude jumping from hilltop to hilltop or the singing undead skeletal warriors))
It may have been a reader failure, but I thought it was just a vision of the future. If there were markers to show time travel from a further future as opposed to just visions of a further future I missed them. I'll go back over it when I get more than five consecutive minutes of free time.Did that not come across as clear? Should I reword that a little? I'm trying to keep everything from her PoV, so I didn't outright state that it was the same one, but she really does know a fuckton more than anyone else realizes. If you didn't catch it, she CAN sort of talk (more like E-mail) other Seers both in her dimension/universe and other dimensions/universes as well. But I don't think she'd clue in on that, she is after all, basically a druggy and alcoholic (how many of you caught the reverence about her and Sprout?). What do you guys think, was it clear?
The Undead singing was a thing in the book. While the scene was badly done, the song always stood out as being the only good thing in the book that I read. I don't remember the entire song, but it had the lyrics:Since when LOTR had "singing undead skeletal warriors"?
I distinctly do not remember any skeletal warriors, especially singing ones.
(unless you mean some of really terrible adaptations)
I also do not remember non-metaphorical jumping from hilltop to hilltop.
"Till the Sun fades and the Moon is dead.
Still on gold here let them lie,
Till the Dark Lord passes his hand, over dead sea and withered land."
Canon Hermione, maybe. But I do have a slightly different head-canon to her. For one, somehow I got the impression she was Jewish. Not sure how or when that started cropping up, but every time I read the books again, I think of her as Jewish. I don't do it for most fanfiction though. So for me, her logical side would kick in and she'd question the general intelligence of all the characters except Samwise [even in the name Tolkien admits who the smart one is].Personally I would give decent chance for Hermione liking LOTR.
It was supposed to be a vision of the present, [but she wouldn't have known that for sure] what was happening right at that moment. Then it shifts to that now gone world and she sees Harry and an energy being of some sort fading out.It may have been a reader failure, but I thought it was just a vision of the future. If there were markers to show time travel from a further future as opposed to just visions of a further future I missed them. I'll go back over it when I get more than five consecutive minutes of free time.
I've never thought about it like this, but the first time I ever tried to read LotR, I was actually on a week long Boy Scout Camp, trying to read the book during down times. Maybe that's why that scene stuck out so much. I was literally being trained in woodcraft (by a Vietnam war, Green Beret Vet no less) while reading it.Crap like poetry and songs. That shit drove me nuts. I didn't notice poor woodcraft as I never was a boy scout or camped any.
I honestly have never managed to get that far in the books. The only reason I even knew he was the King before the movie came out was because of discussions during games.What got me was that anyone followed Aragorn as a King at all. If I recall things right, his family had been out of that city for generations while the other guy's family had been doing the Seward thing. Not for a few years, or a decade or two. For generations. How the heck does anyone have a clue that Aragorn was this rightful king and all? I don't recall I'm sure it was some minor BS thing.
Like I said, I liked the movies for this very reason. Although after that argument on SBs, I'm now convinced everyone has been missing Tolkien's point for decades.He certainly didn't seem that awesome until he got the movie airbrushing effect.
Why do you say that? None of them demonstrated any. Skill with the bow and sword would be useful, but game characters would be a better shot there. And even if that doesn't work, several other books have amazing archers and swordsmen, Hawkeye from the Avengers springs to mind.
You nailed Hermione's taste pre-visitation perfectly. After that, she'd have pulled everything the librarian considered age appropriate to check out (actually, does England do PUBLIC libraries or is that a U.S. thing) until she actually managed to get to Diagon Alley and purchase actual books on magic. And per canon, she didn't go for children's books or fiction either.Sighs. I want to point out that the library is a thing. It'd be highly ironic that these model girls end up visiting the library for fiction more than Hermione does. She'd visit the library trying to check out or memorize the reference books.
Before finishing her Nursing degree, my Mom was a librarian.I didn't get into reading from the library until after college.
I used to travel with hard bound books all the time. The benefits of a game like AD&D is that it only requires two books (PHB & DMG), with 1 other being good, but not actually needed (MM) and a few dice, which if needed they can share. Other games require even less. This allows them to have fun together as most of their traveling would be done together.I'm not sure that I'd travel with a library book or any hardback books. They actually have jobs. Nicely paying jobs at that for their age. I can see them picking up something paperback to read if they need to travel.
Yes. As they would Patricia Briggs and the Dresden Files. Although those books would be fairly early in their works. I fully intend to use several Dresden Files spells in the story.
AD&D Bards work perfectly well there. And in all honesty, I only considered music very briefly.Bedlam's Bard would be neat if only for a character to pick up musical talent. I don't recall if the bard was able to use it to cast magic or not. He was able to earn a living from it.
I loved those books. Although their experience with magic cars might hold them off on trying to get something similar to work. Although the books were being printed throughout the 90s and early 2,000s, and is right up their interests. I'd forgotten about those books when I was writing up the chapter when the girls were quizzing Harry, even though several of the ideas in the books are part of my story outline.The SERRAted Edge was all about using magic to make race cars. O.k. that was more of a background thing that the main characters could just do. Tannim and the elf race car driver should both be able to do that. The elf one would be vastly better at the transfiguration.
While the girls Might know them, it's unlikely the Trio would see much value in them since magic doesn't translate, and especially at first, they're going to be going for max value to effort. Low hanging fruit and all that. So people like Spock and Scotty, the scientist from the show Extreme Wormhole, Tony Stark and Batman and a couple of the completely fictional Archmages from Wizarding fiction.A series of books specifically about young people learning about the world of magic wouldn't appeal to them, at least not for this. For this, they want characters who already know.It'd be interesting if they tried characters from Young Wizards.
Huh, did I forget seeing somewhere that this is an AU set years later than canon? Dresden Files wasn't published until 2000. That would explain one or two anachronisms I noticed in passing in the chapters.
Oh, yeah. Mentioned that in the notes in the early chapters. Not sure that that got said here, or dropped when I reposted the early works from FFN.Huh, did I forget seeing somewhere that this is an AU set years later than canon? Dresden Files wasn't published until 2000. That would explain one or two anachronisms I noticed in passing in the chapters.
I have noted that you seem to always refer Slytherin House as Slytherian which always trips me up in all your chapters. Is it intentional or simply how you read it?
Never noticed to be honest. It's how my spell checker has it in memory. Now I have to go and figure out how to change the spelling of a saved word.I have noted that you seem to always refer Slytherin House as Slytherian which always trips me up in all your chapters. Is it intentional or simply how you read it?
Should be a Ravenclaw†
Actually, a canon character. She was one of the Gryffindor chasers in Harry's 6th year.
Makes me wish all public buildings could be built from the remains of those who have displeased.The wails of imprisoned teachers/murderers can be heard on the day of final testing for new teachers, and are used to remind American teachers that they are not allowed to hold vendettas against any student or favor students by gender, race/species, religion, family or personal politics.