Prince Charon
Just zis guy, you know?
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Speaking as an American, I don't get it, either.
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RIP @Silver Swallow
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The rules regarding NSFW links have been updated. See here for details.
tEN
Mischief Maker
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- Jan 10, 2015
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- 5,923
This reminds me of a situation a few decades back. There wasn't any scientific basis for planting around large rocks until some people who "knew better" hauled all the rocks out of the field and convinced the "poor dumb natives" to plant across the whole field. Then all the plants died, and it was discovered that while gods may or may not have been blessing those rocks with fertility, they were definitely creating enough shade to trap some water and protect the crops from the sun.
KaiserDrgn
(Verified Dragon)
- Joined
- Feb 21, 2014
- Messages
- 219
I think I get it, but don't like it.
Photon Mom Sandwich. P.M.S.
Roast beef is often derogatory slang for labia. Add ketchup to imply menstruation.
That's awful, you should feel bad for making the joke.
UltimateGrr
I trust you know where the happy button is?
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- Feb 22, 2015
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- 897
324 isn't listed as a Missy chapter in the thread mark, and 325 isn't listed at all.
Ack
(Verified Ratbag) (Unverified Great Old One)
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- Feb 12, 2014
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- 7,239
Wow, Clockblocker was really on a roll that day.
CptTagon
Prolific Writer
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- Jul 26, 2014
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- 33,610
Missy Chapter Dammit
And you've moved on to Chevalier, if you can call finding a new guy who's pretty much exactly like your old boyfriend 'moving on
Also, no threadmark for the last chapter.
Really thought Missy and Riley were about to start making out before the chapter ended. Good to see Vicky and Crystal maintaining their family bonds with each other, though I don't remember when Crystal tried to date Taylor. Suppose I have to put Amelia on my "re-read" list to catch all the things I've missed.
cosoco
Not too sore, are you?
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- Feb 21, 2014
- Messages
- 380
And that
When did Crystal do this? I'm drawing a blank.
GladiusLucix
Versed in the lewd.
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- Jun 11, 2014
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- 1,772
I think that was back during the early days of the Taylia bond, or possibly even before, with the teasing that Taylor and Amelia got about being a couple.
Peanuckle
Versed in the lewd.
- Joined
- Jan 15, 2014
- Messages
- 2,022
In retrospect, asking Dinah about the threesome was probably not a good idea. Poor girl is probably alcoholic now.
And that PMS joke. I kinda wish I hadn't read the explanation because yuck.
doomlord9
Experienced.
- Joined
- Jan 15, 2014
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- 4,760
You must have had much more tame teenage friends than I did.
I didn't get it at first either but once I did I chuckled, all it needs to be a joke from back than was a comment about a side-order of red-wings to go with it.
And if you don't get that part either I am in awe of your ability to retain your innocence on the internet.
TanaNari
Verified Dick
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- Jan 10, 2015
- Messages
- 29,001
Pfft. If I felt bad about that, I'd have to kill myself over some of the other stuff I've said and/or done and/or watched happening on the couch while I was looking for snacks in the kitchen.
Yeah. This glitched out thing between my computer and the site right now. Dunno if it's on my side or the server's or what. I think it's fixed itself now.
While you're at it, set up a wiki.
. Or, even better, do a running comment chain for me to enjoy. I really wish there was more commentary, especially on the old stuff. SV has the version that's being edited for clarity and (hopefully) improved writing/editing. Then again, so does QQ now... so enjoy either/or.I could have done worse.
Lightweight.
Don't worry, there were more comments than just that.. Vicky and Crystal may not have heard them, however. I base this assumption upon the fact that Dennis is still alive.
GiftofLove
A Gift From The Heart
- Joined
- Jun 16, 2014
- Messages
- 11,555
I took it in another direction. I.e. she had so many kids her cooter looked like bloody roast beef.
Your Dennis is nicer than me.
Your Dennis is nicer than me.
pepperjack
A Variety of Cheese
- Joined
- Sep 29, 2014
- Messages
- 27,996
Oh now that's just tempting fate.
... Ack said, with a rye smile.
Daunmi
Shun the sun, night so nice
- Joined
- Jan 15, 2015
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- 433
Heh. Heh heh HA HA HA HA HA...
Ah, the things we miss out on, now that Taylia commands swarms of near unstoppable abominations.
I'm not sure what the birth rate is like where you live, but two children is not that many.
TanaNari
Verified Dick
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- Jan 10, 2015
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- 29,001
My girlfriend's contributions to this conversation:
Her: These are some seriously crummy jokes
Me: ....
Her: I kneaded to do it though
Me: I'm telling them about this
Her: just be sure you mind your mannas
Me: They'll appreciate it
Her: it was the yeast I could do
Me: Please stop!
Her: don't be such a heel, I'm having fun
Me: Stop, I'm not adding any more
Her: I'm sorry, I'm sorry, my jokes really are pitaful
Me: ... Okay, I'm adding that one.
Her: tell your readers I can outpun them any day of the year
I'm hoping one of them will challange me, I'm a gluten for punishment
Me: ...
Her: I can feel your disgust rising.
Me: ...
pepperjack
A Variety of Cheese
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- Sep 29, 2014
- Messages
- 27,996
What a half-baked assortment. I absolutely loaf this kind of wheat, stale pun. Tell your girlfriend that thanks to her, I've sourdoughn the whole idea.
GiftofLove
A Gift From The Heart
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- Jun 16, 2014
- Messages
- 11,555
In other news, Zach unintentionally insured that Dinah knows all of her friends' weird O faces.
That poor girl.
That poor girl.
Snake/Eater
Myth Maker of the North
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- Jan 11, 2015
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- 6,441
What chapter did this happen?
GiftofLove
A Gift From The Heart
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- Jun 16, 2014
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- 11,555
Crystal is so good at stealing girlfriends that no one even noticed her fling with Taylor.
cyberswordsmen
I trust you know where the happy button is?
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- Mar 16, 2013
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- 924
Studies have found that acupuncture can relieve pain but where the needles go doesn't matter in the lightest. There is no ki or special acupuncture points it's just that shoving really fine needles into people have a minor pain relieving effect. Probably for the same reasons people get into cutting but without the self mutilation.
evildice
(emotionally stable clown posse)
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- 22,947
9/10, would pumpernickel.
pepperjack
A Variety of Cheese
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- Sep 29, 2014
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- 27,996
I was fastidiously avoiding that one. Congratulations.
Coruscant Knave
'Twas love that did this to you.
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- Feb 9, 2015
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- 344
Hey, I guess Ziz is done smurfing around with QQ servers. Presumably she was editing old Amelia chapters to be the Becky & Lisa show.
I'm straining to think of a reason why Dean and Amy would have dated for any amount of time, especially that early. Amy noticing Dean and Vicky making eyes at each other and moving to intercept? Vicky setting her up with him first before she realized he needed a squire to haul around his chivalry?
The PMS joke only disappoints me because it fits Carol's attitude more but then the joke doesn't work anymore. The puns help, though.
I'm straining to think of a reason why Dean and Amy would have dated for any amount of time, especially that early. Amy noticing Dean and Vicky making eyes at each other and moving to intercept? Vicky setting her up with him first before she realized he needed a squire to haul around his chivalry?
The PMS joke only disappoints me because it fits Carol's attitude more but then the joke doesn't work anymore. The puns help, though.
TanaNari
Verified Dick
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- Jan 10, 2015
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- 29,001
https://wildbow.wordpress.com/2013/12/28/snippets-drafts-of-worm/
Scroll down to Guts and Glory. It's second to last.
Wildbow says it's "almost canon", I'm treating it at face value.
Coruscant Knave
'Twas love that did this to you.
- Joined
- Feb 9, 2015
- Messages
- 344
Ah, this feels like deja vu, but I don't recall if it was in an Amelia thread or another fic. I've been putting off G&G for a rainy day when I run out of wormfic. Crazy bastards like yourself are making that hard to do, though.
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GiftofLove
A Gift From The Heart
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- Jun 16, 2014
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- 11,555
Guts and Glory was kinda meh. You can see a lot of what would go into Taylor in it.
Amelia, Ch 326- Beth
TanaNari
Verified Dick
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- Jan 10, 2015
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- 29,001
Amelia, Ch 326- Beth
I knocked on the door to Sabah's flat. This was the good part of town, at least in part thanks to our efforts. Although if I was being honest with myself, Alexandria deserved most of the credit. She was a one woman army, and pretty much all organized crime had been dealt with. Or, at least, the kind involving drugs and gangs and stuff inside the city and the nearby area. There was always petty bullshit, and people trying to fly under the radar. And there was always the Elite, but they tended to avoid the kind of crimes that drew that sort of attention. At least anywhere near LA.
After a couple minutes, the door opened, revealing a slender young Asian woman. She'd clearly just got done taking a bath, her hair was still wet. Really, Sabah, you were dismembered last night and you still found time to bring someone home with you? What the hell?
"Umm, hello?" The girl asked.
"Sorry," I smiled awkwardly. What do I even say to her? "I'm Beth, I was here to check up on Sabah."
"Oh, uh..." she glanced back into the room. "She's getting dressed."
Of course she is. "Let her know Beth's here, okay?" I asked.
"Uh, okay, sure," she agreed, then she looked back into the room again and shouted. "Someone by the name of Beth!"
"Oh!" I heard Sabah yell. "She's a friend, you can let her in."
"Umm, come in," she smiled cautiously, stepping back. "I think I remember hearing about you." Sabah talks about me to her... uh... friends? "I'm Lily."
Lily? Oh! "Sorry! I didn't recognize you!" I smiled for real this time. "I'm Beth. Anima. I was just coming over to see how Sabah was doing after Beelzebub, I didn't think there'd be anyone with her already. I've been a big fan of yours for a while. I just didn't... you look so different in person!"
She relaxed a little, at least. "I get that a lot, actually," she responded. "The armor's actually designed to highlight certain features and play tricks on the eyes. Makes me look about five years older, about a foot taller, and more like a dignified head of state than a nineteen year old girl."
"It does a really, really good job of it," I agreed, marveling at the difference. She was actually younger than me, and shorter. Even knowing this was the same girl as I saw on camera, taking off her mask for the whole world to see, I had trouble seeing the resemblance.
"Thanks," I heard Sabah respond, stepping out of her room. She was dressed nicely, as usual. "I worked pretty hard on that." She stopped for a second. "Minerva helped," she admitted. "A little bit."
"Are you okay?" I asked, looking at her leg. "I mean, that was... your entire leg was gone."
"A little stiff, a little sore," she responded. "It's not as bad as it was last night. Lily helped me with some stretches. " She blushed.
Oh that's... I felt the heat rising in my cheeks. Lily and Sabah were both all smiles, so I was glad for them, but this was a little awkward for me. Then again, I had gotten used to awkward. The only way a power could be more embarrassing than mine would literally involve use of bodily functions as the power's main mechanism. "I should probably start an exercise routine," I admitted instead, acting like I missed the point entirely. "It's just, my power really doesn't depend on my physical abilities, and with the armor I never have a need for other reasons."
"It's a good idea," Lily agreed with me. "I can't begin to tell you how glad I am that I never stopped my workout routine even after getting the armor. It's one of those things you don't really think you need. Until, suddenly, you need it and wish you had more."
"I can imagine," I agreed. "So, umm, how long are you staying? Are you planning to join the west coast team?" If you do, does that mean Sabah's going to be spending all her time with you and I'll be a third wheel? I was painfully aware that I already was a third wheel right now, and they probably wanted me gone so they could... do whatever it was they were planning to do.
"I can't, unfortunately," Lily admitted, looking for all intents like a lost puppy. "I mean... the portals still haven't been completed. Then there's the coronation ceremony. Well, not coronation, but whatever it's called."
Sabah deflated visibly. "You mean you're still going through with the marriage?"
Marriage? There was more here than I knew, so I kept silent for now.
"No, we got to skip the whole marriage part of it," Lily responded. "They're pretty much just making me a princess, nothing else."
There was a time when I would have wept in jealousy at that news, I thought. Now I was just glad it wasn't me.
"Really?" Sabah asked. "No strings attached at all?"
"Well, the part where it's very clearly in name only is supposed to be a string," she responded. "There's absolutely nothing coming with with the title, like at all. They're not even going to give me a place to stay. I get the title, I get a fancy parade, and then the royal family does its best to pretend I don't exist at all. Until the anniversary of Leviathan's death comes along. Then I get another fancy parade. I have no idea how they pulled it off, but that's the deal."
"That sounds perfect," Sabah responded. "Congratulations... Princess Lily." She giggled at little at the silliness. I died a little inside, if only because I was used to phases like that being said with absolute seriousness.
"It's everything we wanted without all the parts that sucked ass," Lily agreed. "Well, I might still need a PR coach or something to make sure I don't say things like 'sucked ass' in public. So, y'know, can't win them all."
"That might not go over well," Sabah nodded.
"So, how long are you planning on staying?" I asked.
"Another day or so," she responded. "We have to reevaluate the portal plan, because some countries are afraid the Endbringers will attack other portals and we'd be forced to collapse those, too."
"That's actually not an unreasonable fear," I mused. I may not be a traditional Thinker, but I'm not stupid, I can follow a tactical conversation. "I mean, the last three Endbringer battles happened in areas that threatened portals. Paris, Brockton Bay, and while Avalon's other portal wasn't in San Fran, it would have been caught in the destruction if the tectonic plates gave way. I can see why they'd be worried."
"I guess, but it's a real pain in the ass," she agreed.
"It's probably more than that," I continued. "Pantheon showed it had the ability to break portals during the last fight. Cutting countries off from their colonies like that is a pretty devastating weapon if you use it intelligently. And I imagine a lot of countries are wondering what else you can do with the portals. If they can be shut off, can they be moved? Set to a different world? Can you simply move a gateway from its rightful country to Avalon and invade?"
"We'd never do something like that," Lily responded, defensively. Ooops, guess I could have phrased that better.
"I know," I agreed. "Hell, you don't even need to do that. If the Empresses wanted to conquer a world, they could do it a hundred different ways. The Yggdrasil, turned into an invasive species. Those giant bug monsters. The threat of sending you or Victoria in would probably be enough to make most nations surrender on its own."
"You really think so?" Lily asked. "I mean, I've gotten used to the idea of me being a political icon. I use that all the time to push social equality in some of the countries I've been to. And I know I scare villains. But you're talking about me as if I'm like a nuclear weapon."
"In a way, you really kinda are," I continued. I was warmed up to this conversation, now. "A lot of Pantheon's heavy hitters are. Maybe that's why you don't feel like you're that special, because compared to the people you work for you're top tier, but not alone at that level. Pantheon has so many ways to win a war that nukes look almost benign in comparison. You're scary as hell, too, Sabah."
"You really think so?" Sabah asked. "I mean, the armor makes me pretty strong, but not that strong."
"Yeah, I really do," I responded. "Khepri doesn't even need the biomonsters, she could destroy a country in minutes just using regular bugs. Vicky's rep is insane, and Sveta's close. Avalon's been a country for only a few months and it's already considered a military super power, with the strongest Cape forces that aren't Scion. Pantheon controls almost all of the Endslayers, and they do control the most famous and powerful of them. You're led by the most dangerous S-class threat ever imagined. You have at least three of the top five Tinkers on the planet. If there was a war between Avalon and Bet, right now? I'm not sure Bet could win. No wonder other countries are afraid of accepting your gifts, when you've shown you can take them away so easily."
"Wow, when you put it like that," Lily muttered.
"Yeah," Sabah agreed. She reached over and grabbed Lily's hand. "That's pretty scary to think about."
"Hey, if you think it's scary for you, how do you think it feels for everyone else?" I asked.
==================
A/N- I am soooo surprised no one called this ahead of time. I was afraid I made it too obvious.
I knocked on the door to Sabah's flat. This was the good part of town, at least in part thanks to our efforts. Although if I was being honest with myself, Alexandria deserved most of the credit. She was a one woman army, and pretty much all organized crime had been dealt with. Or, at least, the kind involving drugs and gangs and stuff inside the city and the nearby area. There was always petty bullshit, and people trying to fly under the radar. And there was always the Elite, but they tended to avoid the kind of crimes that drew that sort of attention. At least anywhere near LA.
After a couple minutes, the door opened, revealing a slender young Asian woman. She'd clearly just got done taking a bath, her hair was still wet. Really, Sabah, you were dismembered last night and you still found time to bring someone home with you? What the hell?
"Umm, hello?" The girl asked.
"Sorry," I smiled awkwardly. What do I even say to her? "I'm Beth, I was here to check up on Sabah."
"Oh, uh..." she glanced back into the room. "She's getting dressed."
Of course she is. "Let her know Beth's here, okay?" I asked.
"Uh, okay, sure," she agreed, then she looked back into the room again and shouted. "Someone by the name of Beth!"
"Oh!" I heard Sabah yell. "She's a friend, you can let her in."
"Umm, come in," she smiled cautiously, stepping back. "I think I remember hearing about you." Sabah talks about me to her... uh... friends? "I'm Lily."
Lily? Oh! "Sorry! I didn't recognize you!" I smiled for real this time. "I'm Beth. Anima. I was just coming over to see how Sabah was doing after Beelzebub, I didn't think there'd be anyone with her already. I've been a big fan of yours for a while. I just didn't... you look so different in person!"
She relaxed a little, at least. "I get that a lot, actually," she responded. "The armor's actually designed to highlight certain features and play tricks on the eyes. Makes me look about five years older, about a foot taller, and more like a dignified head of state than a nineteen year old girl."
"It does a really, really good job of it," I agreed, marveling at the difference. She was actually younger than me, and shorter. Even knowing this was the same girl as I saw on camera, taking off her mask for the whole world to see, I had trouble seeing the resemblance.
"Thanks," I heard Sabah respond, stepping out of her room. She was dressed nicely, as usual. "I worked pretty hard on that." She stopped for a second. "Minerva helped," she admitted. "A little bit."
"Are you okay?" I asked, looking at her leg. "I mean, that was... your entire leg was gone."
"A little stiff, a little sore," she responded. "It's not as bad as it was last night. Lily helped me with some stretches. " She blushed.
Oh that's... I felt the heat rising in my cheeks. Lily and Sabah were both all smiles, so I was glad for them, but this was a little awkward for me. Then again, I had gotten used to awkward. The only way a power could be more embarrassing than mine would literally involve use of bodily functions as the power's main mechanism. "I should probably start an exercise routine," I admitted instead, acting like I missed the point entirely. "It's just, my power really doesn't depend on my physical abilities, and with the armor I never have a need for other reasons."
"It's a good idea," Lily agreed with me. "I can't begin to tell you how glad I am that I never stopped my workout routine even after getting the armor. It's one of those things you don't really think you need. Until, suddenly, you need it and wish you had more."
"I can imagine," I agreed. "So, umm, how long are you staying? Are you planning to join the west coast team?" If you do, does that mean Sabah's going to be spending all her time with you and I'll be a third wheel? I was painfully aware that I already was a third wheel right now, and they probably wanted me gone so they could... do whatever it was they were planning to do.
"I can't, unfortunately," Lily admitted, looking for all intents like a lost puppy. "I mean... the portals still haven't been completed. Then there's the coronation ceremony. Well, not coronation, but whatever it's called."
Sabah deflated visibly. "You mean you're still going through with the marriage?"
Marriage? There was more here than I knew, so I kept silent for now.
"No, we got to skip the whole marriage part of it," Lily responded. "They're pretty much just making me a princess, nothing else."
There was a time when I would have wept in jealousy at that news, I thought. Now I was just glad it wasn't me.
"Really?" Sabah asked. "No strings attached at all?"
"Well, the part where it's very clearly in name only is supposed to be a string," she responded. "There's absolutely nothing coming with with the title, like at all. They're not even going to give me a place to stay. I get the title, I get a fancy parade, and then the royal family does its best to pretend I don't exist at all. Until the anniversary of Leviathan's death comes along. Then I get another fancy parade. I have no idea how they pulled it off, but that's the deal."
"That sounds perfect," Sabah responded. "Congratulations... Princess Lily." She giggled at little at the silliness. I died a little inside, if only because I was used to phases like that being said with absolute seriousness.
"It's everything we wanted without all the parts that sucked ass," Lily agreed. "Well, I might still need a PR coach or something to make sure I don't say things like 'sucked ass' in public. So, y'know, can't win them all."
"That might not go over well," Sabah nodded.
"So, how long are you planning on staying?" I asked.
"Another day or so," she responded. "We have to reevaluate the portal plan, because some countries are afraid the Endbringers will attack other portals and we'd be forced to collapse those, too."
"That's actually not an unreasonable fear," I mused. I may not be a traditional Thinker, but I'm not stupid, I can follow a tactical conversation. "I mean, the last three Endbringer battles happened in areas that threatened portals. Paris, Brockton Bay, and while Avalon's other portal wasn't in San Fran, it would have been caught in the destruction if the tectonic plates gave way. I can see why they'd be worried."
"I guess, but it's a real pain in the ass," she agreed.
"It's probably more than that," I continued. "Pantheon showed it had the ability to break portals during the last fight. Cutting countries off from their colonies like that is a pretty devastating weapon if you use it intelligently. And I imagine a lot of countries are wondering what else you can do with the portals. If they can be shut off, can they be moved? Set to a different world? Can you simply move a gateway from its rightful country to Avalon and invade?"
"We'd never do something like that," Lily responded, defensively. Ooops, guess I could have phrased that better.
"I know," I agreed. "Hell, you don't even need to do that. If the Empresses wanted to conquer a world, they could do it a hundred different ways. The Yggdrasil, turned into an invasive species. Those giant bug monsters. The threat of sending you or Victoria in would probably be enough to make most nations surrender on its own."
"You really think so?" Lily asked. "I mean, I've gotten used to the idea of me being a political icon. I use that all the time to push social equality in some of the countries I've been to. And I know I scare villains. But you're talking about me as if I'm like a nuclear weapon."
"In a way, you really kinda are," I continued. I was warmed up to this conversation, now. "A lot of Pantheon's heavy hitters are. Maybe that's why you don't feel like you're that special, because compared to the people you work for you're top tier, but not alone at that level. Pantheon has so many ways to win a war that nukes look almost benign in comparison. You're scary as hell, too, Sabah."
"You really think so?" Sabah asked. "I mean, the armor makes me pretty strong, but not that strong."
"Yeah, I really do," I responded. "Khepri doesn't even need the biomonsters, she could destroy a country in minutes just using regular bugs. Vicky's rep is insane, and Sveta's close. Avalon's been a country for only a few months and it's already considered a military super power, with the strongest Cape forces that aren't Scion. Pantheon controls almost all of the Endslayers, and they do control the most famous and powerful of them. You're led by the most dangerous S-class threat ever imagined. You have at least three of the top five Tinkers on the planet. If there was a war between Avalon and Bet, right now? I'm not sure Bet could win. No wonder other countries are afraid of accepting your gifts, when you've shown you can take them away so easily."
"Wow, when you put it like that," Lily muttered.
"Yeah," Sabah agreed. She reached over and grabbed Lily's hand. "That's pretty scary to think about."
"Hey, if you think it's scary for you, how do you think it feels for everyone else?" I asked.
==================
A/N- I am soooo surprised no one called this ahead of time. I was afraid I made it too obvious.
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