Commercial Break (Worm / Slut Life) (Borderline SFW)

SystemSearcher · Aug 1, 2018

TheEyes said:
It's supposed to be more along the lines of: "It can happen to a person multiple times at a stretch and they wouldn't notice". QA's command code module cannot possibly be so fragile that losing the equivalent of part of one of your liver cells can kill it; if it were then the same genetic algorithms that they use to make their granted superpowers work better would build them some redundancy and fault tolerance. No, from a security and biology standpoint it makes much more sense that this is something Hackerman did, possibly in a "plausible deniability" sense, to give Taylor more freedom from the Entities.

Couldn't have QA just, well, eaten the transmitter instead of the whole command module? No problem if you lost a bit of liver, but if you lose a bit of the vein/artery that connects to it you're in trouble.

Anacronism · Aug 1, 2018

TheEyes said:
Erm, wouldn't QA actually return before she left, in this case? Taylor has already been "off-plane" so to speak for several days at this point; if SL is going to return her to the same moment she left she'd need to go back in time.

i think just Taylor moved dimensions, and QA hasn't needed to move yet since it was already poking through dimensions.

but now they want to go to a different planet.

owrtho · Aug 1, 2018

TheEyes said:
The Teraport, and for that matter Doctor/Major/Commander Andersyn, are from Schlock Mercenary, a long-running comic that Jonakhensu obviously does not own. It works exactly as described here, although the amount of material lost per teraport is supposed to be absolutely miniscule compared to the mass/volume of the object being transported.

The fact it is borrowed from another work is irrelevant. Particularly as looking at that work confirms that it can use mass from other objects to fuel the transport of the things being moved, so long as they are part of the larger target of objects being moved together. While I didn't find anything in the comic about them being able to select the mass targeted as fuel, they were explicitly able to do so here, meaning there is no reason they couldn't just dump some large block of matter onto QA along with Taylor for that express purpose (or use part of the alt earth already present), rather than risking damage to QA by fueling the process with some of its systems.

Anacronism said:
i think just Taylor moved dimensions, and QA hasn't needed to move yet since it was already poking through dimensions.

but now they want to go to a different planet.

The point is that Taylor will be sent back to a point just after she was taken from Earth. A few weeks have already passed since then. If the QA is returned at the same time, then it should already be back. However, the unstated implication may be that while Taylor will be returned to just after she left, the QA will instead be returned to just after it was moved away from Earth. This would mean there would be a brief period in which Future Taylor is using the old QA before her QA is brought back. Alternatively, because QA lost its means of interfacing with the entity, the Entity has not noticed that there are two QAs.

owrtho

Czlyydwr Llrngwl · Aug 1, 2018

The second option sounds like the more elegant solution to me, and if the returned QA also meddled with the OTL version (I'm going to call her Kid QA because it amuses me. All is for my lols.) once that component was deactivated it could also conveniently explain why Kid QA was immediately so independent minded.

Alex Prior · Aug 1, 2018

TheEyes said:
It's supposed to be more along the lines of: "It can happen to a person multiple times at a stretch and they wouldn't notice". QA's command code module cannot possibly be so fragile that losing the equivalent of part of one of your liver cells can kill it; if it were then the same genetic algorithms that they use to make their granted superpowers work better would build them some redundancy and fault tolerance. No, from a security and biology standpoint it makes much more sense that this is something Hackerman did, possibly in a "plausible deniability" sense, to give Taylor more freedom from the Entities.

Early versions of the Teraport sacrificed more mass until Kevyn refined it. (Schlock lost a literal ton of naughty magazines once.) Interdimensional-Multiversal Teraport would be about as experimental, given that Kevyn hasn't built something like that yet either.

Slith10 · Aug 1, 2018

Alex Prior said:
Early versions of the Teraport sacrificed more mass until Kevyn refined it. (Schlock lost a literal ton of naughty magazines once.) Interdimensional-Multiversal Teraport would be about as experimental, given that Kevyn hasn't built something like that yet either.

Ehhh, if that's true then it works but I think (as others have said) maybe losing it due to Hackerman or the Mad Scientists/etc might be better.
It's up to the Author's reasoning/etc in the end.

Jonakhensu · Aug 1, 2018

Reply

And here's the first batch of replies to various comments.

First off, there is a fairly minor divergence from canon that has some far reaching implications in this story.

Please don't unspoil this said:
Instead of blasting and physically crippling the shards he was deploying (especially QA), Zion instead used biological and programming restrictions to achieve the same effect.

LordAnubis said:
Are we going to find out what those other components are for?

It's possible that they'll come up in the story. On the other hand, you could decrypt them to get some idea what they do.

torac said:
Interesting. I assumed it would use part of the empty planet for fuel, not part of itself. Tricky as QA is, it has a better idea, of course…

When asked "What can we take to power the teraport?" they meant "Where do you end and the planet begins?" QA didn't understand exactly what was asked. Or decided to 'misunderstand' the question.

TheEyes said:
Erm, wouldn't QA actually return before she left, in this case? Taylor has already been "off-plane" so to speak for several days at this point; if SL is going to return her to the same moment she left she'd need to go back in time.

Yes. I don't see why Zion getting bad information is an issue. What Taylor knows, what QA knows, and what QA told Zion can all be different.

TheEyes said:
Also, yeah, agree that the most likely system for QA to sacrifice would be the Entity-subservience module that was just (temporarily) disabled. It makes narrative sense in that we wouldn't be hearing about it if QA could just sacrifice a redundant organ or two, although frankly it's a bit contrived, as a shard, having evolved organically, would almost certainly have some redundant or vestigial organs around to sacrifice instead; it would make more sense if the "choice" had been the result of Hackerman inserting a software worm into the shard to sabotage the Entity network, rather than the shard "randomly" choosing to sacrifice something that, considering the original purpose of shards, would be considered a critical part of its survival architecture.

I disagree with a lot of what you're saying here. Based on their origins, every shard is an entity that has been consumed and made subservient to a different shard (or collection of shards that thinks its a single entity). There is no reason to think the controller bits are naturally occuring.

The 'original purpose of the shards' was to consume everything it could and multiply. There's no evidence I've seen that a shard going off by itself wouldn't survive just fine, provided another group of shards didn't consume it.

Czlyydwr Llrngwl said:
Also, I suspect that those module IDs are either the same or similar as the ones used recently in Mauling Snarks. I think that was having the plain text subjected to ROT13 and then converted to hexadecimal? Can't remember exactly.

They aren't, but CmptrWz did contribute ideas for the process.

TheEyes said:
Non-sapient. QA doesn't gain any form of sapience until she has bonded enough with Taylor that it can use the mental states it copies from its host to simulate consciousness, and that won't happen for years.

This is a minor divergence from canon, and is explained in the interlude.

TheEyes said:
Still identifying itself, so much as it can identify itself, as a part of an Entity. Choosing to go against its Entity's obvious wishes is something like one of your cells deciding to go off and become its own person: sure that can be made to happen through a critical error or malfeasance (eg. cancer), but QA was originally evolved to be part of and participant in the Entity's life cycle; it wouldn't ever just choose "Fuck it; Imma go independent now" on its own.

Again, this is explained in the chapter. Also, every shard is its own micro-entity, just not the one in control of the gestalt.

owrtho said:
As has been noted, while amusing, it seems strange for the shard to intentionally destroy the part that lets it interface with the entity at this point in time. It would seem more sensible for such a component to be destroyed (possibly accidentally) as part of the mad scientist research of the shard at a later point in time.

Where did it say QA did that? I don't remember writing anything about destroying communication functions.

owrtho said:
There seems to be no reason you couldn't just tell a person you were transporting to hold a big block of some substance while transporting them in order to fuel the process and avoid using up any of their own mass.

"So you're saying I could hold this block… or you could use my fat? Why diet when you can teraport?" - Just because you can use a block of material doesn't mean you'd necessarily want to.

TheEyes said:
It works exactly as described here, although the amount of material lost per teraport is supposed to be absolutely miniscule compared to the mass/volume of the object being transported.

I looked it up. Teraporting the Kitesfear, a 70 meter long ship, took 1800 kilograms of mass. Now, making a lowball estimate and assuming QA is the size of Madagascar, it has a volume of 34,000,000 km3. I'll make the Kitesfear a cube (it's not) for simplicity's sake, and call it 0.000343 km3. Assuming they're the same density (again for simplicity), QA is, at minimum, 99,000,000,000 times the mass of the Kitesfear. This means that, using the same conversion rate, QA would be losing a minimum of 178,200,000,000,000 kg of mass.

Converting that back into volume (using the density of flesh), you get roughly 189,913 km3 of flesh QA being consumed. I think that should cripple or destroy one system if properly targeted.

Jonn Wolfe said:
Well, I'd be more happy knowing what decryption I need to use... but glad QA is free from... whatever.

I only used two methods of encryption, and the passphrase isn't anything obscure. Both methods can be found at http://rumkin.com/tools/cipher/. I think there was a total of five steps used.

Anacronism said:
i think just Taylor moved dimensions, and QA hasn't needed to move yet since it was already poking through dimensions.

but now they want to go to a different planet.

Correct. However, QA is reaching through more dimensions than usual, so the connection is slightly strained. The only reason there isn't an issue is that Taylor is being used as an anchor, and QA is sort of physically attached to Taylor.

owrtho said:
Particularly as looking at that work confirms that it can use mass from other objects to fuel the transport of the things being moved, so long as they are part of the larger target of objects being moved together. While I didn't find anything in the comic about them being able to select the mass targeted as fuel, they were explicitly able to do so here, meaning there is no reason they couldn't just dump some large block of matter onto QA along with Taylor for that express purpose (or use part of the alt earth already present), rather than risking damage to QA by fueling the process with some of its systems.

They asked if QA had any unnecessary mass to fuel the reaction. This may have been an error on somebody's part, but, had the answer been "That can't be done," they would have looked at different fuel sources or different methods. Since QA said using a certain amount of mass is fine, why would they bother trying to figure out a different method? Or tracking where QA ended and the planet began so they could use that mass? You're adding unnecessary variables at that point.

owrtho said:
The point is that Taylor will be sent back to a point just after she was taken from Earth. A few weeks have already passed since then. If the QA is returned at the same time, then it should already be back. However, the unstated implication may be that while Taylor will be returned to just after she left, the QA will instead be returned to just after it was moved away from Earth. This would mean there would be a brief period in which Future Taylor is using the old QA before her QA is brought back. Alternatively, because QA lost its means of interfacing with the entity, the Entity has not noticed that there are two QAs.

There are multiple interpretations to what Zion was told, from "QA had faulty data" to "Zion misinterpreted the data" to "Somebody lied somewhere." Alternatively, something happens before the end of the year and either Taylor or QA don't survive the process. My bet is on Taylor sacrificing herself in a moment of epic badassitude to save the planet from an Outer God or something. Assuming all goes well, this is a stable time loop, so QA arriving before leaving would have already been noticed by Zion. Since that didn't happen, there must be some other explanation.

Alex Prior said:
Early versions of the Teraport sacrificed more mass until Kevyn refined it. (Schlock lost a literal ton of naughty magazines once.) Interdimensional-Multiversal Teraport would be about as experimental, given that Kevyn hasn't built something like that yet either.

That's also assuming they're doing Interdimensional-Multiversal transit. But that'll come up next week.

MissileTeatime · Aug 2, 2018

owrtho said:
As has been noted, while amusing, it seems strange for the shard to intentionally destroy the part that lets it interface with the entity at this point in time. It would seem more sensible for such a component to be destroyed (possibly accidentally) as part of the mad scientist research of the shard at a later point in time.

If that's a relevant point of concern (and the author replied before me, so), I would expect it to make just as much sense for the component to be disabled at the beginning, QA to grow a personality and attachment to Taylor over the ~year, and decide to sacrifice the connection component on the trip back to Earth.

DieKatzchen · Aug 2, 2018

MissileTeatime said:
If that's a relevant point of concern (and the author replied before me, so), I would expect it to make just as much sense for the component to be disabled at the beginning, QA to grow a personality and attachment to Taylor over the ~year, and decide to sacrifice the connection component on the trip back to Earth.

I would assume one of the functions of a subservience module would be to forbid removing the subservience module. Therefore the only reason QA was able to do so is because Zion turned it off.

MissileTeatime · Aug 2, 2018

DieKatzchen said:
I would assume one of the functions of a subservience module would be to forbid removing the subservience module. Therefore the only reason QA was able to do so is because Zion turned it off.

Right, but I'm saying that if (that's what it is and) destroying it is necessary to the plot, is there any reason it had to be destroyed now instead of at the end of Taylor's ~year. The person I was responding to suggested "just have it destroyed over the course of the year", and I said "if that's an option, why not have it still be QA'S choice but happen at the end of the year instead of the beginning".

edale · Aug 4, 2018

MissileTeatime said:
Right, but I'm saying that if (that's what it is and) destroying it is necessary to the plot, is there any reason it had to be destroyed now instead of at the end of Taylor's ~year.

You really want to know?

I'm afraid I'm not going to tell you, but in the end, it's not the reward at the end that matters, it's the journey you took, and the friends you've made.

What do you mean you didn't make any new friends? But this always works in the animes!
I warned you you wouldn't like it.

5ColouredWalker · Aug 4, 2018

So QA ior Taylor aren't going to last the year. Good to know.

MissileTeatime · Aug 4, 2018

5ColouredWalker said:
So QA ior Taylor aren't going to last the year. Good to know.

Well, I mean.

It's theoretically possible that they'll discover "Scion is a massive problem who needs to die" over the course of the year, discover and organize a way to kill him, and use time travel to be able to kill him very shortly after Taylor leaves.

Then Taylor would just have to be "missing" for however long she's been on the station so far.

Jonakhensu · Aug 7, 2018

Preparation 2.3

As Mina was pulling Taylor through the airlock and onto their shuttle, they were met by a short girl with close cropped purple hair. The girl raised her hand in a casual wave and said, "Hi, I'm Corporal Para Ventura. Feel free to call me Para. I'll be your guide for the moment, since moving cargo is Corporal's work." Her tone was mostly friendly, though there was a bit of a bitter note at the end.

"It's nice to meet you," Taylor hesitantly said, reaching out and shaking the other girl's hand. "I'm Taylor Hebert."

Para nodded and said, "Right, you're our cargo."

"And I'm Mina," the magical girl added. "I guess you could call me a transportation specialist."

"I'm not sure why we need one of those, but good to know," Para replied. "Anyway, come with me and I'll take you to the rest of the crew."

"And the commanding officer?" Mina asked.

"Yeah… about that..." Para said hesitantly. "We don't really have one."

Mina stopped suddenly and blinked, even as Taylor bumped into her. "You don't have one?" she asked incredulously.

"Nope," Para replied, throwing her hands into the air and rolling her eyes. "Apparently, somebody couldn't be bothered to make sure the shuttle crew would be getting paid."

"You're not getting paid?" Taylor asked in shock. "Why are you here, then?"

Para turned to face Taylor and smiled, "Well, I'm here out of professional curiosity. I heard you have an organic supercomputer we're going to be moving, and I wanted to take a look." She gave a short laugh before adding, "The men are here because they're a bit pent up and heard about Mina."

"Oh? Stories have gotten around, I see." Mina commented. "I take it they're all good stories?"

Para nodded, "Sure, if you're interested in that kind of thing." Jerking her thumb at one of the hatches they were passing, she added, "I've got a soundproofed workroom set up in the lab. The guys are pretty nice, but I'm not interested in any of them, so I'd rather not join the orgy."

"Orgy?" Taylor yelped.

"Well, yeah," Mina replied. "How did you think I was going to recharge after we get to the alternate Babnockorty? I definitely can't manage two sixth dimensional jumps back to back."

Taylor looked at Mina oddly and asked, "Aren't you Slut Life's main source of transportation between universes?"

"Haha, no," Mina laughed self-deprecatingly. "I'm nowhere near powerful enough for that. I mostly help contestants who are having second thoughts get over their nerves." She noticed how Taylor was now eyeing her warily and hastened to add, "Oh, don't worry, we aren't going to be doing that with you. It's mostly for the people who asked for something they thought they would enjoy, but it's something weirder than they thought." Under her breath, she muttered, "The number of people I've had to give diaper fetishes to..."

"That sounds… unpleasant," Para noted, shaking her head. Looking at Taylor, she added, "You know, I kind of envy you."

"You do? Why?" Taylor asked.

"I tried to sign up for a run a few years ago, before I signed up as a mercenary," Para explained, shaking her head. "They rejected me," she continued. "Something about worrying about what I'd do to the robots." At Taylor's confused look, she added, "I'm a roboticist. I do robots."

Mina winced. "I remember reading about you. I think they were worried about you suborning their camera drones."

Para grinned. "Yeah, that was part of the plan. The health and longevity benefits were just another perk, as far as I was concerned. Of course, I don't really need to worry about that much anymore."

"Oh?" Mina asked before Taylor could.

"Yeah, we've got it all figured out," Para explained. "Worst case, we all have our memories and a tissue sample backed up back at Jumpstar Prime. Sure, you might wake up missing a few months, but it's better than staying dead, right?"

"That's a very philosophical question," Mina replied. "But it's not one I want to get into."

"That's good," Para said as they stepped through a hatch, "because we're here."

The other two stepped through the wide hatchway and looked around the room. Lounging around were five large, well muscled men and "Is that an elephant?" Taylor asked, pointing towards the large gray figure. "And why is it wearing clothes?"

"Oh boy," Para muttered, as the elephant turned toward them and glared. "Hey," the purple haired girl shouted, "Chisulo, take it easy! She's from a backwater; she doesn't know any better!"

"What?" Taylor asked. "What did I say?"

The large elephant made his way over to stand before her, before rearing up onto his hind legs and holding out a hand. "I am Corporal Chisulo, and I am a neophant, not an elephant."

"Oh," Taylor said, staring up at the large figure.

"This is the part where you shake his hand and introduce yourself," Para hissed, nudging Taylor in the ribs.

"Oh, sorry," Taylor stuttered as she grasped the large hand. "I wasn't expecting any aliens."

Chisulo scoffed. "I'm no more an alien than you are." Looking at the young girl shrewdly, he asked, "You are from Earth, correct?"

"Um, yes," Taylor replied.

"So am I," the neophant replied.

"Oh. Um, right… introductions," Taylor said, scrambling to change the subject. "I'm Taylor, Taylor Hebert."

"So you're the person we're transporting," Chisulo noted. Looking over the strangely dressed girl, he asked, "And who are you?"

Mina gave the large figure a once over and licked her lips. "Oh, I can see I'm going to enjoy this. I'm Mina, and I'll be the one transporting us through sixth dimensional space." Looking the large male over again, she added, "You are here to help me recharge, right?"

"I am," Chisulo confirmed, "though Commander Foxworthy didn't tell me any details beyond informing me that I could help."

"Oh," Mina replied with a naughty grin, "then I'm sure you'll be in for a treat." She looked around the room and asked, "So, who are the others?"

Chisulo shrugged his massive shoulders. "Mostly some new recruits. They wanted a break from training."

"And a piece of ass," one of the men called back. "I wouldn't mind me a piece of that leggy one!"

"What?!" Taylor squawked. Turning rapidly toward Para, she asked, "Is there room for two in your workroom?"

Para shot the man a glare before replying, "Easily. Now, unless anyone else decides to get on Elf's list, we should get going."

"What about my bugs?" Taylor asked. "We can't just leave them here!"

"From the mission briefing," Chisulo began, "yes, we can. In fact, we have orders to. Something about minimizing any negative effects with using your connection to the super computer while directly next to it."

"That makes sense..." Taylor said uneasily. "I guess it's a good thing Mina pulled me out of the room before I could get my crickets to follow me."

"You're welcome," Mina chirped. "So, when are we leaving?"

"We left right after we got on the shuttle," Taylor answered.

"How did you know that?" Para asked in surprise.

"I could feel us getting further away from my crickets," Taylor replied. "We're almost out of range now."

"We're almost half a kilometer out," Chisulo stated. "That's not particularly useful in space, but I can see how that would help with keeping track of things in a ground engagement."

"Especially if you can keep each of your bugs straight," Para added. "It'd be like having your own IFF setup once you get a bug on everyone… unless they kill the bugs, of course."

Off to the side, Mina huffed. "I don't want to talk about bugs," she grumbled. "Just… let me know when we're at least a kilometer out, alright?"

"Will do, ma'am," the large neophant replied. Turning back to Taylor, he continued, "If you want, we have some seats over here, or I can show you to one of the windows."

"One of the windows sounds good," Taylor replied. "I kind of want to see what this supercomputer thing looks like."

"I don't recommend looking out the windows while I cast our gateway," Mina warned, following the others towards one of the observation windows. "I'm told it can be a bit disturbing to watch. Something about extreme non-Euclidean geometries." She shrugged helplessly. "I don't know enough math to know what that means."

Para spun to stare at Mina for a moment. "I'll be back!" she cried as she suddenly began hurrying back to the labs. "I need to cobble together some sensors." The group watched her as she left, and were still watching when she abruptly came back. "And don't go casting anything until I'm done!

"Para!" Chisulo called down the corridor. "Are you done playing yet? We're not being paid by the hour, you know!"

"Do you know how long it takes to fab mounting brackets for the terapedoes?" Para demanded as she stomped back into the room. "I wanted to make sure we won't lose any when we go through the dimensional boundary."

"That would be bad," Chisulo agreed. "Especially when we need to use the VDA to move the supercomputer."

"We'll be fine," Para replied, waving off the neophant's concerns. "If worse comes to worse, I can always fab us some more."

"Can I start casting yet?" Mina whined. "I may be getting paid by the hour to be here, but that doesn't mean I want to miss my soaps."

"Sure," Para said, waving a hand flippantly. "I've got every sensor I could scrape together strapped to the hull, so I'm set."

Chisulo checked with the pilot before saying, "We should be far enough away from any structures. Since Ventura is also set, you can begin whenever you're ready."

"Finally!" Mina crowed, holding up her staff. Raising her staff high, she began chanting something unintelligible that echoed oddly in the ear as dark energy spiraled in, coalescing into a ball around the head of her staff.

Para quickly pulled out her handbrain and began flipping through the readings from several sensors. "Good," she said. "It looks like the sensors are getting data from whatever she's doing. There's some weird gravitic resonances going on."

Mina began sweating and breathing heavily as she continued chanting. All the while, the ball was expanding and compressing in time with her cadence. Chisulo winced and looked away quickly while Taylor watched on in blank fascination.

"The gravitic interference patterns are fascinating," Para breathed as she watched the readings on her handbrain. "I'm going to need to send a copy of these to the Captain's clone and Petey."

Finally, Mina gestured forward with her staff, sending the ball of energy careening towards the front of the shuttle. Mercenaries jumped out of its way as the ball passed until it crashed into, and through, the front bulkhead without a trace. "It's done," Mina intoned, right before collapsing to the ground.

"Mina, are you alright?" Taylor cried, scrambling next to the younger girl and dropping to her knees next to her.

"Yeah," the girl replied, clutching the side of her head. "That just took a lot more out of me than I thought it would. Here's a tip. Don't skimp on your reserves, even if you think having more spells will be more helpful."

Taylor blinked in surprise. "It really takes that much out of you?"

"Yup," Mina replied, popping the p. "Normally I wouldn't even be doing something like this, but I'm the most mobile person available on short notice right now." Looking towards the purple haired girl and the neophant, she raised her voice and asked, "Can we get through the portal already? Most of the energy went into opening it, but I'd like to get a chance to recharge, and I can't do that before I close it."

"I've got all the readings I'm going to get here," Para said, still looking at her handbrain. "We should be set to go, right, Chisulo?"

"Yes," the big corporal agreed. "I'll make sure they start bringing us through now."

As the neophant walked off, Taylor asked, "Mina, why do you need to close the portal before recharging? Shouldn't it stay open on it's own?"

Mina grimaced and embarrassedly replied, "Normally, it would." She laughed slightly and added, "Liana and Meagan really gave you a full rundown of what we can do, didn't they? It turns out I don't have enough mana to make the portal permanent, so all of my available passive mana regeneration goes towards maintaining it, and I can't concentrate on it while recharging manually."

As the shuttle moved through the portal, lights, colors, and images flashed through the windows. For a moment, everyone heard purple and tasted the gravity being exerted on their bodies by the annie-plant as well as the minor fluctuations caused by the portal while their vision swam. Just as suddenly, everything righted itself as they exited the portal.

"That was intense," Taylor exclaimed in surprise as she forced her rebellious stomach to subside. "Is it always like that?"

"Not really," Mina replied. "I don't usually try to move through more than four dimensions for a reason. The more dimensions you add, the harder the trip. It probably wouldn't be as bad if I could throw more mana at it, but what can you do? At least it's over pretty quick, right?"

"Ugh," Para grumbled from next to them. "That was unpleasant." She shook her head as though to clear it before continuing, "Anyway, I'm sending out the VDA. We should be in position pretty soon. The supercomputer should be right below us."

Taylor rushed to the window and looked out. "I can't see it," she complained.

Mina came over and squeezed in next to Taylor to take a look. "Is it hidden in one of those canyons?" she asked, gesturing towards one of the large fissures.

"Hmm? What are you talking about?" Para asked, squeezing in from Taylor's other side to take a look. "That is the supercomputer." She gestured widely and added, "It's all the supercomputer. As far as the eye can see in every direction. They should be dropping us down right in the middle of it."

"We're going to be landing?" Taylor asked in worry.

"No," Para replied with a shake of her head. "We're going to hover right over the surface. We want to be low enough to be covered in the same teraport field, but we also don't want to risk anything happening if we land."

"It's so big," Mina said in surprise. "Didn't you people say it was a biological supercomputer?" she demanded. "How is that even remotely possible?"

Para shrugged nonchalantly. "It's not the biggest living thing we've come across," she said before wincing. "Though it may be the largest living thing we've come across made from baryonic matter."

"What does that mean?" Taylor asked.

"The Pa'anuri are huge," Para explained, "but they're made out of dark matter, so they might not count."

""That still doesn't explain what you meant by baryonic matter," Taylor griped.

Para stared at the brown haired girl for a moment before smacking her forehead. "Oh, right! They said you were from a less developed Earth. Sorry about that. Baryonic matter is what the observable universe is made out of. Dark matter can't really interact with it, except gravitationally. I wouldn't worry too much about it. It's only really important if a Pa'anuri tries to kill you, which isn't really likely."

"If you say so," Taylor replied skeptically. Looking out the window again, she said, "Hey, it looks like we're getting closer!" She squinted as the terrain grew larger and more detailed in the window. "Are you sure that's the supercomputer? Or that it's biological? It looks like a bunch of color changing crystals from here."

Para nodded in agreement. "It's definitely not what I was expecting to see." Checking her handbrain, she continued, "As far as I can tell it is displaying the same type of energy patterns you'd expect in a brain or a neural network. I'll need to analyze this data more to see how it's handling the latency issues"

"What's that?" Mina asked.

"The supercomputer is large enough that even fiberoptics would have a noticeable delay in transmission times," Para explained. "So I want to know how it's preventing lag." Turning to Taylor, she continued, "Based on what I've been told of your abilities, it has to either be able to transfer data at faster than light speeds, or it is much more efficient than seems credible and is only using a small part of its potential to handle things for you." She shrugged, and finished by saying, "It probably won't make a difference for you, but it would be interesting to know, and could make a difference in the long term."

Before either Taylor or Mina could ask another question, Chisulo walked over. "The VDA is in position and has been doing deep scans of the entity. We're ready to go whenever you are."

"I'm going to need to recharge my mana at some point," Mina noted, looking the large mercenary over with a predatory glint in her eye. "Do you think we should take care of that before or after you move us to our new location?"

"Will it make a difference when you do it?" Chisulo asked.

Mina thought for a moment before replying, "It shouldn't, though I'd prefer to do it sooner, rather than later. It's uncomfortable to be this low on mana."

"We'd be waiting the same amount of time either way," Para noted. "We might as well take care of it now. It'd also give the VDA more time to scan things here."

"True," Chisulo agreed. "I'm going to divert some of the terapedos for the moment, that way we can get some scans of the surrounding area as well."

Para nodded. "Might as well. It should give the scientists studying things more to work with." She turned to Mina and said, "You have fun now, alright? I'm going to head back to my sound-proofed lab. It sounds fun and all, but I've already got a guy I'm interested in and he didn't come on this trip, so I think I'll pass for now."

"No problem," Mina said easily. "Having another girl there would make things faster, but I don't mind doing most of the heavy lifting myself." She turned to Taylor and asked, "Are you going to be joining us or hiding out with Miss Ventura?"

Taylor flushed and sputtered for a moment before finally replying, "I think I'll hang back with Para, if that's alright?" she asked, looking towards the shorter girl.

Para shrugged. "I don't have a problem with it. There's plenty of room for two in there. Come on, I'll get you settled so these guys can get started." Moving quickly, she led Taylor out of the main cabin and towards her lab.

Mina smirked as she watched the two other girls leave. "You're going to be missing out," she called after them. "But that just means there'll be more for me." She turned to look over the mercenaries who were watching her in a mix of apprehension and eagerness. "So," she asked, "who's first?"

"Welcome to my lab," Corporal Para Ventura said as she led Taylor into the space. Once the taller girl was inside, she turned and secured the door. "There we go, nice and soundproofed." She punched a button on a panel next to the door before saying, "Chisulo, we're buttoned up. You can start whenever you're ready."

"Good," Chisulo replied through the intercom. "Mina is getting pretty antsy up here, and it's having an effect on the grunts. I wasn't sure how much longer they would be willing to wait for you. I'll contact you once we've finished out here and have cleaned up a bit."

"Thank you," Para said. "I really don't want to have to deal with any fluids you lot might be leaving behind."

"Noted," Chisulo grunted. "Chisulo out."

"Right," Para said, turning back to Taylor. "That's taken care of. Want a tour of the lab?"

Taylor looked around and shrugged. "Might as well. It's not like I can tell what most of this is."

"That's to be expected," Para replied. "It's not like you've had a chance to see a mil-spec fabber before."

"A what?" Taylor asked in genuine puzzlement.

"This beauty," Para replied, gesturing to one of the pieces of equipment. "It's a military grade fabricator, meaning it can make most things we may need out in the field. It's honestly a bit excessive to have on a shuttle craft, but we like to be prepared, and they wanted to give me something to play with to keep me out of trouble."

"That's an issue for you?" Taylor asked.

"Well, if I didn't have a fabber and a request to make some specific and fiddly equipment, I'd probably be tempted to try to write an AI, and the last one I made went a little homicidal on us." Seeing Taylor's look, she hurriedly added, "Don't worry, she's better now… unless someone kills a crew member she likes, at least. Then she gets scary again."

"Oh," Taylor said, not knowing what else to say.

"And, if I finish that, I've got some spare parts and ideas on how to upgrade my robot, Tarpaulin," Para added.

"Is there anything I can do?" Taylor asked, looking around. "I don't want to get in the way, and I don't think I'll be much help with the fabber."

"Well, there's two options I can think of," Para replied, tapping her lip in thought. "I can either set you up on a spare terminal and have you run through the tutorials or I've got a copy of 70 Maxims of Maximally Effective Mercenaries you could read. A lot of the company swears by it, and it has some good lessons."

"Such as?" Taylor asked curiously.

"Well," Para began before pausing to think for a moment, "Maxim 4 should apply to you fairly well, based on what I've read of your file. 'Close air support covereth a multitude of sins' and all. You might not be able to do much about good body armor, but swarms of insects can still be distracting. That'll let you get away with more things you really shouldn't."

"Alright," Taylor agreed. "I'll give it a look. At least it sounds more interesting than most of my school assignments."

"That's the spirit," Para said as she handed over a handbrain opened to the book. "If you have any questions or need anything, just call out. I shouldn't be doing anything too thought intensive, so I don't think you'll cause me to lose my train of thought." Grimacing slightly, she added, "And if you want to watch the… festivities going on in the main cabin, there's a monitor over in the corner. Personally, I'd rather not watch someone only a little larger than me fuck a neophant, but, I don't know, you might enjoy it."

"I think I'll pass," Taylor decided. Holding up the handbrain, she added, "I'll just find a nice place to sit and start reading this."

"Good idea," Para agreed. "I'll let you get to that. I've got work to do." Cracking her knuckles, she made her way over to the fabber and got to work.

"Do you think they're done yet?" Taylor asked for the third time, causing Para to look up from her work.

"I don't know," the purple haired girl replied. "Why don't you check the monitor and find out."

"I don't want to," Taylor protested. "Last time I looked, Mina was bouncing up and down on Chisulo! How does that even work?!"

"I'm guessing either magic or body mods," Para replied. "Either way, I'm sure the home release of the recording will sell well."

"We're recording that?" Taylor asked incredulously.

"Yup. It's one of our contracts, actually," Para replied. "The royalties from their parts in it are about the only thing the others are getting paid for this."

"I thought you said they weren't getting paid earlier," Taylor noted.

"I did," Para agreed with a nod. "They aren't getting paid for moving you from Earth to Babnockorty. They're getting paid royalties for being in a gang bang porno. It's a totally separate job. They're lucky Chief Warrant Officer Thurl got them the second contract."

Taylor was spared from needing to reply when the intercom buzzed. "Ladies, if you'd like to come up front," Chisulo began, "we can get going."

"You guys cleaned everything up, right?" Para demanded coming over to look at the neophant through the screen. "I'm not going to go out there and find everything covered in… fluids, am I?"

Chisulo looked around nervously before nervously replying, "Uh, maybe you should wait another few minutes before coming out."

"Great," Para grumbled. "At least it'll give me some time to straighten up in here." Closing the connection, she turned and said, "Come on, Taylor, help me get this stuff back in the crate."

"Oh, good," Para said caustically as she led Taylor back into the main cabin of the shuttle. "I see you managed to clean everything up."

"You two really missed out," Mina commented from where she was lounging in one of the chairs. "It was a lot of fun."

Around her, the hardened mercenaries blushed furiously and started staring at everything other than the three girls. Occasionally, two would match gazes for a moment before violently looking in another direction.

"It was definitely… interesting," Chisulo said diplomatically. "I would not be entirely against doing that again."

Smirking wickedly, Mina added, "I didn't even use any of my really special tricks. Next time, we'll need to try them when I have a full tank."

Para looked around and sighed. "I'll let Thurl know that we'll have plenty of volunteers the next time you guys come looking."

"So..." Taylor began hesitantly, attempting to change the subject, "are we ready to go?"

"Ah, yes," Chisulo said, grabbing the new subject with both of his engineered hands. "We are ready, as soon as we call in the VDA and reposition it for the teraport."

"Then get us ready," Para ordered. "You might have gotten this place pretty clean, but it still smells funky. I want to get home and smell that wonderful canned nature." Turning to Taylor, she added, "We live in a planet-sized space station with its own ecosystem."

"Sounds nice?" Taylor replied questioningly.

Chisulo cleared his throat. "We're all set to teraport. The scout terapedos have been sent and returned. We're good to go. We'll begin in three, two, one."

"What's happening?" Taylor demanded as the scenery began tearing apart around her. She grew increasingly frantic as the effect grew and began to affect her directly. "No, no, no. No. NO!"

Ack · Aug 7, 2018

Welp, Chisulo got some.

Also, apparently teraporting is slow enough for Taylor not to like the idea of it.

Fencer · Aug 7, 2018

...... I know we need all these background chapters, but seriously the waiting for Taylor to either get laid or get a magical gun and start shooting is frustrating. On the other hand. You have Taylor reading the mercenary maxims. All take a moment of silence in pitty for her future vict- I mean foes.

The Unicorn · Aug 7, 2018

Jonakhensu said:
"That's a very philosophical question," Mina replied. "But it's not one I want to get into."

While in contrast I dislike stories that go out of their way to point out that sort of philosophical question...and then ignore it.

Jonakhensu said:
"What's happening?" Taylor demanded as the scenery began tearing apart around her. She grew increasingly frantic as the effect grew and began to affect her directly. "No, no, no. No. NO!"

Intresting chapter, I did find Ventura very annoying, i.e in character.

Flutters Is Shy · Aug 7, 2018

Tantric energy batteries, I guess?

Jonn Wolfe · Aug 7, 2018

Oops. Doesn't look like the last bit felt all that nice.

Nice chapter!

5ColouredWalker · Aug 8, 2018

Apparently QA doesn't like being moved.
Also I wonder if they'll ask QA to unlock more abilities when the find out that QA is giving Taylor a tiny fraction of the possible power it can give her.

Slith10 · Aug 8, 2018

Jonakhensu said:
"Orgy?" Taylor yelped.

Jonakhensu said:
"And a piece of ass," one of the men called back. "I wouldn't mind me a piece of that leggy one!"

"What?!" Taylor squawked. Turning rapidly toward Para, she asked, "Is there room for two in your workroom?"

... She does know what Slut Life is, right?
Just seems a bit odd to be 'What! Sex?' when she has signed up for the 'show'.

bearblue · Aug 8, 2018

Slith10 said:
... She does know what Slut Life is, right?
Just seems a bit odd to be 'What! Sex?' when she has signed up for the 'show'.

It's one thing to "know it" because you've been introduced to a concept. But it's another to overcome a lifetime of ingrained unspoken understandings about sex. Taylor may conceptually understand something, but it's not the same as being loose and relaxed about it.

In my opinion, I would say Taylor's right about where she should be, given her origins - even if she's signed a contract. She'll be learning the side effects of her choices soon enough anyhow.

Hommit · Aug 8, 2018

Jonakhensu said:
"No, no, no. No. NO!"

Second triggering already, huh?

LordAnubis · Aug 8, 2018

bearblue said:
In my opinion, I would say Taylor's right about where she should be, given her origins - even if she's signed a contract. She'll be learning the side effects of her choices soon enough anyhow.

I agree with bearblue in that Taylor is still processing things like how much sex is going on in the environment. It should be interesting in seeing how things go when it is her first time and how she thinks about it afterwards.

D'znn-Xy'lll MetaChthonia · Aug 8, 2018

This is starting to seem more and more like a Schlock Mercenary Crossover and less and less like Slut Life. It's like Slut Life only exists to facilitate the Crossover.

Commander Foxworthy

...Jeff Foxworthy?

"I'm told it can be a bit disturbing to watch. Something about extreme non-Euclidean geometries."

OH! EXTREME NON-EUCLIDEAN GEOMETRIES?! I LOVE THOSE! Are they Schrödinger or Escher style Geometries?! One means they change when you blink and the other means reality warps based on perspective!

"Yeah," the girl replied, clutching the side of her head. "That just took a lot more out of me than I thought it would. Here's a tip. Don't skimp on your reserves, even if you think having more spells will be more helpful."

This makes me think of a Hypothetical Situation with Taylor and some other Magical Girls getting their Magic disabled by the Villain of the Week given Taylor is going for a real weapon instead of a magic one:
"Heh-HA! Now you can't fight me because your magic is gone!"
"HEY! ASSHOLE" *raises gun*
"Oh? You think you toy is going to do anything without any magic bullets?!"
*Pulls back Bolt*"it's not magic..."
*BOOM*
"it's real"
*Sound of Ratings Exploding and Memes of "Taylor the Badass" being created*

I'm going with Bolt-Action Rifle, perhaps an M1 for their identifiable sound and because everyone thinks M1 Garand when they think "Bolt-Actio Rifle". I have no clue what Taylor chose but it sounded like she was going Sniper Rifle.

forced her rebellious stomach to subside.

"VIVA LA REVOLUTION!"

"What does that mean?" Taylor asked.

Mass Matter instead of Dark Matter. One is physical the other is only affected by gravity.

You don't have to think about the difference unless a Fleet of Fog ship wants to kill you with either a Gravitic Shot or a Caustic Torpedo. Weird that sea vessels use intergalactic weaponry.

"Areyou sure that's the supercomputer? Or that it's biological? It looks like a bunch of color changing crystals from here."

Well it is made out of the same Electron Lattice that is inside of Neutron and Dwarf Stars so the term "organic" might be a bit... Eschewed... in this case. More "Crystal" then "Organic" for a "Crystal-Organic".

"Based on what I've been told of your abilities, it has to either be able to transfer data at faster than light speeds, or it is much more efficient than seems credible and is only using a small part of its potential to handle things for you."

Given they use Super-Novas of energy to do something that is already present in both Latin and Computer Code? Pretty sure it's not about Efficiency.

"Alright," Taylor agreed. "I'll give it a look. At least it sounds more interesting than most of my school assignments."

It is. It's like the Evil Overlord List but for Mercenaries.

"I don'twant to," Taylor protested. "Last time I looked, Mina was bouncing up and down on Chisulo! How does that even work?!"

*Drool*

"Oh, good," Para said caustically as she led Taylor back into the main cabin of the shuttle. "I see you managed to clean everything up."

[Joke]
Time to break out the DNA Scanners and really... Examine... The furniture with your nostrils (dig in there with your face you dirty-)
[/Joke]

Around her, the hardened mercenaries blushed furiously and started staring at everything other than the three girls. Occasionally, two would match gazes for a moment before violently looking in another direction.

[Joke]
They Touched Testicles. Repeatedly. They think it was Gay. I think it wasn't Gay enough. They feel emasculated by a Neophant.
[/Joke]

"What's happening?" Taylor demanded as the scenery began tearing apart around her. She grew increasingly frantic as the effect grew and began to affect her directly. "No, no, no. No. NO!"

You already pointed out it involves "tearing" what did you think it would look like?

Chisulo

Man, I love this guy, he's just so chill. Surprise Taylor doesn't call the Neophant a Case 53.

CTCatapult · Aug 8, 2018

D'znn-Xy'lll MetaChthonia said:
This is starting to seem more and more like a Schlock Mercenary Crossover and less and less like Slut Life. It's like Slut Life only exists to facilitate the Crossover.

Given that they're only involved to transport Taylor and her agent/shard/organic supercomputer, I'm guessing that the Schlock Mercenary characters will probably leave in/after the next chapter. And it's not like they've taken up that much time, or started to get her involved in Schlock-related things. They're basically just the delivery boys (and girl) on this run.

LordAnubis said:
I agree with bearblue in that Taylor is still processing things like how much sex is going on in the environment. It should be interesting in seeing how things go when it is her first time and how she thinks about it afterwards.

bearblue said:
It's one thing to "know it" because you've been introduced to a concept. But it's another to overcome a lifetime of ingrained unspoken understandings about sex. Taylor may conceptually understand something, but it's not the same as being loose and relaxed about it.

In my opinion, I would say Taylor's right about where she should be, given her origins - even if she's signed a contract. She'll be learning the side effects of her choices soon enough anyhow.

This. I mean, it seemed like she picked her choices partly with an eye toward avoiding sex if possible, but also tried to pick things that will be helpful if/when avoiding sex fails. So she's aware it may not be avoidable, but she's certainly not embracing the idea. As for the whole magical girl thing and the other perks, well...it's one thing to decide "it's worth the risk of being unable to avoid sex if I can get kickass hero powers and make a difference back home." It's another thing for a girl who's romantic and sexual experiences clock in at zero to suddenly not be embarrassed when reminded that the nice girl she just met is a tantric mage who will be recharging energetically just a room or two away, and wouldn't mind if she helped.

Plus, Taylor is used to thinking of herself as unattractive, not desirable, and she's not used to positive attention or the implied compliment of a guy looking at her and thinking/saying "ooh, that one." So sexual mores aside, the fact that anyone is thinking of her that way is going to make her brain have a few hiccups when she's forced to confront it in person, at least at first. All of the concern and disgust people have registered over her bugs since her arrival won't help with that.

MissileTeatime · Aug 8, 2018

D'znn-Xy'lll MetaChthonia said:
OH! EXTREME NON-EUCLIDEAN GEOMETRIES?! I LOVE THOSE! Are they Schrödinger or Escher style Geometries?! One means they change when you blink and the other means reality warps based on perspective!

I'd have to spend more time interrogating the use of the word "extreme" to be certain, but both of those descriptions come across to me as more "eldritch" than "non-Euclidean". Mere non-Elucidean geometries are perfectly normal; GPS deals with them all the time, for example.

Slith10 · Aug 8, 2018

MissileTeatime said:
I'd have to spend more time interrogating the use of the word "extreme" to be certain, but both of those descriptions come across to me as more "eldritch" than "non-Euclidean". Mere non-Elucidean geometries are perfectly normal; GPS deals with them all the time, for example.

Yus:

Ack · Aug 8, 2018

D'znn-Xy'lll MetaChthonia said:
This makes me think of a Hypothetical Situation with Taylor and some other Magical Girls getting their Magic disabled by the Villain of the Week given Taylor is going for a real weapon instead of a magic one:
"Heh-HA! Now you can't fight me because your magic is gone!"
"HEY! ASSHOLE" *raises gun*
"Oh? You think you toy is going to do anything without any magic bullets?!"
*Pulls back Bolt*"it's not magic..."
*BOOM*
"it's real"
*Sound of Ratings Exploding and Memes of "Taylor the Badass" being created*

I'm going with Bolt-Action Rifle, perhaps an M1 for their identifiable sound and because everyone thinks M1 Garand when they think "Bolt-Actio Rifle". I have no clue what Taylor chose but it sounded like she was going Sniper Rifle.

I vote for the Lee-Enfield .303 myself. An oldie but a goodie.

That, or a pump-action shotgun.

Alternately:
"Hah! I have taken away your magic!"
Taylor: "Ahem."
Villain: "What's that buzzing noise?"
Taylor: "Bees. All the bees."
Villain: "Um ..."

SystemSearcher · Aug 8, 2018

Ack said:
I vote for the Lee-Enfield .303 myself. An oldie but a goodie.

That, or a pump-action shotgun.

Alternately:
"Hah! I have taken away your magic!"
Taylor: "Ahem."
Villain: "What's that buzzing noise?"
Taylor: "Bees. All the bees."
Villain: "Um ..."

I don't know why, but this made me imagine QA getting a separate human(oid) body and becoming Taylor's combat partner.

WIth a giant-ass mallet, because why not.

Commercial Break (Worm / Slut Life) (Borderline SFW)

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Yes, post 2.9 on 10/23

No, wait until 10/30

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