Cooking Thread~ Recipes & Things

[seeing_octarine]

A cooking thread? Don't mind if I do! Have some delicious Eastern European cuisine~

Borscht

(note that all the following weights are approximate; a precision dish this ain't)

1.1kg of beetroot
1.1kg of cheap beef (chuck steak is recommended and typical, but you can even use ox heart if you don't mind it remaining chewy)
450g potato
300g carrot
150g onion
1 tsp minced garlic
cracked pepper
water
half a green cabbage
300g sour cream
20g fresh dill

Peel the beetroot and potato.
Cut the beetroot, beef, potato, carrot, and onion into about 1.5cm cubes.
Add the beetroot, beef, potato, carrot, onion, garlic and pepper to a big saucepan, and just barely cover with water. Careful not to add too much.
Cover and set to just simmering for around 3 hours or so.
Shred and add the cabbage, and continue to simmer for another 20 minutes or so until the cabbage is properly wilted/cooked.
Serve hot with a dollop of sour cream and a sprinkling of dill, as pictured.

Makes about 5 full noodle bowls of the stuff, totaling to around 16700kJ assuming full fat sour cream. Yes, I measure that sort of thing.

There are a ridiculous number of regional variations of borscht. This just happens to be the one I put together after browsing around the net for a while. That's a stock photo too, but it appears to be similar to what this recipe turns out as, so this version is probably vaguely Ukrainian. About the only thing the variations have in common is that it's a beetroot based stew. Most everything else is up to personal preference. It's incredibly easy to make vegetarian if you want just by omitting the beef, and doing so is probably advisable if you want to serve it cold. Also, as you may be able to tell from the cooking directions, I'm laaaaazy.

 

[Garahs]

I got this from a coworker. Their family is from the south. I'm trying it out tonight.

family chili recipe
Ingredients (You can play around with some that you do not like)
Chili Seasoning:
•1/2 tablespoon of ground cumin
•1/2 tablespoon of dried oregano
•1 tablespoon chili powder
•1/2 teaspoon of Cajun seasoning (Slap your mama) *yes that is a real spice name
Chili:
•2 tablespoons olive oil
•1-1/2 cups of chopped yellow onion
•1 cup chopped green bell pepper
•1 (7 ounce) can of chopped green chiles or up to 1/4 cup of jalapeno peppers, or to taste
•2 pounds ground chuck
•3 garlic cloves, minced
•1 tablespoon of granulated sugar
•2 tablespoons of Worcestershire sauce
•2 teaspoons of hot sauce, or to taste
•1 (28 ounce) can of whole tomatoes, undrained, chopped
•1 (14.5-ounce) can diced tomatoes, undrained
•2 cups beef stock or broth
•2 bay leaves
•3 (15 ounce) cans of light kidney beans, drained and rinsed, divided
•Kosher salt and freshly cracked black pepper, to taste
Instructions
Mix together the chili seasonings; set aside. Heat the oil in a large heavy bottomed soup pot over medium high heat. Add the onion, bell pepper, and green chilies or jalapenos; saute until tender, about 5 minutes. Add the ground beef and cook for about 10 minutes or until meat is no longer pink. Add the garlic and cook another minute. Drain off excess fat.
Add the chili seasonings, sugar, Worcestershire, hot sauce, tomatoes, beef stock and bay leaves; bring to a boil. Reduce heat and simmer, uncovered, for about 40 minutes or until liquid is significantly reduced. Drain one can of the kidney beans, mash and add to the chili. Drain and rinse the remaining two cans of beans, add to the chili, taste, season with salt and pepper and continue cooking on a low simmer, about 20 minutes longer. Stir, taste and adjust seasonings, as needed.

***All recipes depend on your ingredients, our family uses the hottest of the hot and some extra fat but that is where the real good flavor is:
Chili is by nature spicy, but may be adjusted to a milder flavor by eliminating any seasonings containing hot pepper (Cajun, Creole, hot sauces), reducing dried chili powder and substituting canned mild green chilies for any hot peppers. Always start with a lesser amount of any seasonings, taste and adjust.
May also substitute a combination of 1 pound ground chuck and 1 pound of raw sausage, such as Italian sausage or Mexican chorizo, if desired. Can also use a leaner ground beef or ground turkey, but understand that some of the flavor will be lost due to the fat loss. Substitute habanero, scotch bonnet, or serrano peppers, or your own favorite hot chile pepper, depending on heat level desired.
***I know you like the Slow Cooker***
Crockpot: Brown veggies and ground beef in skillet as above and drain. Transfer to slow cooker and add the remaining ingredients. Stir well, cover and cook on high for 4 to 5 hours, low 7 to 8 hours.

 

[NovemberBlues]

This place could use more desserts. Especially chocolate ones.

Tim Tam Balls - by the One Pot Chef Show

[Edit: I almost forgot the image!

Spoiler: Tim Tam Balls Image

Now that's better.]

Equipment:

• Food Processor; if you do not have a food a separate set of instructions will be just down below
• A bowl
• A plate

Ingredients:

• 125g of Cream Cheese (at room temperature)
• 200g Packet of Tim Tam Biscuits (or similar chocolate biscuits / cookies)
• 1/2 Cup of Chocolate Sprinkles

Preparation time: ~15 mins
Chill time: ~20 mins

Spoiler: Video - Making Tim Tam Balls by One Pot Chef Show

Instructions:

1. Place chocolate sprinkles inside the bowl, and set aside
2. Place cream cheese inside food processor
3. Place Tim Tams inside food processor
4. Blitz until all is blended into a single chocolatey mixture
5. Take a tea spoon of the mixture and roll with hands into a ball
6. Roll the ball on the chocolate sprinkles inside the bowl until totally covered
7. Put on the plate
8. Repeat until no mixture left
9. Place plate inside the fridge and chill for roughly 20 minutes
10. Take out and enjoy!

Instructions (no food processor; will need three bowls):

1. Place chocolate sprinkles inside the bowl, and set aside
2. Finely crush the Tim Tams into 2nd bowl
3. With another bowl place the cream cheese inside
4. Place finely crushed Tim Tams inside 3rd bowl
5. Mix until all is blended into a single chocolatey mixture
6. Take a tea spoon of the mixture and roll with hands into a ball
7. Roll the ball on the chocolate sprinkles inside the bowl until totally covered
8. Put on the plate
9. Repeat until no mixture left
10. Place plate inside the fridge and chill for roughly 20 minutes
11. Take out and enjoy!

It is super easy, and I tried it myself, so I can say its good. Best to eat it as a snack with something else, perhaps Earl Gray Tea.

 

[Evillevi]

Sorry if this is not suppose to be here, but does anyone know the tips of cooking rissoto. I tried a recipe of using Rissoto that I'll simplify as

1) Pour stock ,1 or 2, ladle at a time into a pan with rice until it's cooked and creamy.
1.1) Pour stock as needed to keep it wet (?)
1.2) Stir it as needed (?)
2) Add stuff that you like at the end to make it taste nice.

So my problem is what does it mean by cooked until creamy, at what point specifically do I need to pour more stock and how often should I stir?

Thanks for reading this if nothing else and sorry if I'm not supposed to post stuff like this here.

 

[UrsaTempest]

Sorry if this is not suppose to be here, but does anyone know the tips of cooking rissoto. I tried a recipe of using Rissoto that I'll simplify as

1) Pour stock ,1 or 2, ladle at a time into a pan with rice until it's cooked and creamy.
1.1) Pour stock as needed to keep it wet (?)
1.2) Stir it as needed (?)
2) Add stuff that you like at the end to make it taste nice.

So my problem is what does it mean by cooked until creamy, at what point specifically do I need to pour more stock and how often should I stir?

Thanks for reading this if nothing else and sorry if I'm not supposed to post stuff like this here.

Click to shrink...

Just go to Wikileak, there's risotto recipe there

Ahem.

I think I write simple risotto recipe in this thread, let me check... Ah, here it is! https://forum.questionablequesting.com/threads/cooking-thread.187/page-2#post-33094

As for creaminess... well, if you do the process correctly, you'll see the risotto-to-be kinda melt-y and there's something creamy between the grain.

 

[Evillevi]

Just go to Wikileak, there's risotto recipe there

Ahem.

I think I write simple risotto recipe in this thread, let me check... Ah, here it is! https://forum.questionablequesting.com/threads/cooking-thread.187/page-2#post-33094

As for creaminess... well, if you do the process correctly, you'll see the risotto-to-be kinda melt-y and there's something creamy between the grain.

Click to shrink...

Thanks

11. Add a final ladle of stock, then put a lid on your pan for a minute or two. Turn off the stove.

Click to shrink...

Thanks, this part in particular would help.

Also another question, before you stop adding the stock should the rissoto have soft grain or hard bits of grain.

 

[UrsaTempest]

Thanks


Thanks, this part in particular would help.

Also another question, before you stop adding the stock should the rissoto have soft grain or hard bits of grain.

Click to shrink...

That really depends on your preference, but I generally prefer a bit of hard bits of the rice. Else, I'll just make conventional fried rice!

 

[TheJackinati275]

Here we go...

-Twiddles copy-paste fingers-

(From My SB Cookbook post.)

****

It's nearing Halloween.

Have you ever found yourself pondering what to give the little shits/villainous bastards cute trick-or-treaters?

Ponder no more, my dear fellow... give them some Halloween love with some SOUL CAKE!

Why yes, SOUL CAKE is the name of this recipe. Made for over 400 years (And maybe longer), this little treat would eventually lead to the tradition of little bastards cute kids running around trick-or-treating.

Avoid yourself the scorn (And possibly house TP-ing and Eggings) of the children and give them some SOUL CAKE.

Do you wish to know how to make SOUL CAKE?

Then I shall teach you...

-Proceeds to copy and paste-

****
Souling Cake Recipe
Makes 14 large 'cakes'

Recipe Ingredients:
340g plain flour (sifted)
170g sugar
170g butter (softened & diced)
1/2 tsp ground cinnamon
1/2 tsp ground mixed spice
1/2 tsp ground nutmeg
1 egg (beaten)
2 tsp of white wine vinegar
Preheat the oven to 200C and grease 2 flat baking trays

Thoroughly mix all the dry ingredients into a mixing bowl – sifted flour, spices, and sugar. Rub in the diced butter until the mixture resembles fine breadcrumbs. Add in the beaten egg and white wine vinegar and mix with a wooden spoon until a firm dough is made. Then cover it and put it in the fridge for 20 minutes.

Flour a working surface and roll out the dough to 7mm thick and using a large round pastry cutter cut into rounds, (optional: use a straight edge to press into, and then draw a cross shape, in the top of the dough). Place these rounds on the greased baking tray and bake in the oven for 15 to 20 minutes at 200C until slightly coloured. Serve warm or cold.

****
It's less a cake and more a biscuit... but it is fucking awesome!

Just look at this... I only have two left in the photo because I was too busy fucking eating them all!

10/10... would sell my Soul for more Soul Cakes again!

 

[Malaquez]

Just found this thread, and I gotta share. I love eggs. Always have. Boiled, scrambled, fried; I love eggs in every way.
Thus, I'm making this post for all the egg recipes I know. Enjoy!
Equipment will be standardised as:
1) Medium sized pan, preferably non-stick.
2) Rubber spatula.
unless stated otherwise.
~~~~~
Let's start off simple with fried eggs.

Ingredients:
Cooking oil e.g. sunflower, canola, etc.
1 egg.
Salt and pepper.

1) Crack the egg into a bowl first, to make it easier to slide onto the pan.
2) Heat the pan to med-high, and add your oil.
3) When the pan is hot, slide the egg onto the pan. Be careful not to crack the yolk here.
4) You will notice that the egg white has two 'layers'. Using the spatula, carefully spread the white so that it's in contact with the pan. This let's the egg cook uniformly.
5) After a minute or so, when the white goes opaque, cover the pan with a lid. This steams the yolk.
6) Give it another minute, and voila! Fried egg, with a runny yolk! Season with salt and pepper to taste.

A variation of this is the over-easy.
Just follow the above steps, but after step 4, let the egg cook a bit more until you can move it around the pan. Now, very carefully, slide the spatula under the egg and slowly flip it. Let the egg cook like that for 30 seconds or so, and done! Season to taste.
~~~~~~
Next, omelettes. My favourite.

Ingredients:
Oil.
2-3 eggs.
Salt & pepper.
Any kind of cheese you have on hand.

1) Crack eggs into a bowl. Whisk until you don't see any egg white.
2) Add pepper. DO NOT ADD SALT AT THIS STAGE. The salt makes the eggs watery.
3) Heat the pan to med-high and add oil.
4) When the pan is heated, add your eggs.
5) You can see now, that the egg isn't cooking all at once. Only the bottom, which is in contact with the heat, is cooking. Using the spatula, pull in the sides of the cooked egg and tilt the pan to let the uncooked egg get in contact with the heat.
6) Repeat step 5 until the egg is set. Season to taste.
7) Add your cheese onto one side of the omelette. Then, fold the other half of the omelette to cover the cheese. At this point, turn the heat to low and let the omelette sit for another 30 seconds to melt the cheese. Tada! A fluffy, cheesy omelette!
Of course, the toppings can change. Cheese is just my topping of choice.

A fancier option is the buffet omelette. Basically, you cook off whatever ingredients you want to put inside the omelette e.g. mushrooms, bacon, etc. Then, either:
A) Pour the egg over the ingredients and follow the steps above, or
B) take the ingredients out of the pan, cook the egg according to the steps above but replace the cheese with your ingredients.
~~~~~~
Onto, boiled eggs.
So, boiling eggs are pretty simple. Cold water-filled saucepan on the hob. Put egg(s) in. Heat until boiling. Turn off the heat, and cover with a lid.
Now, you have a couple of options.
1) Let sit for 3 minutes for really runny soft-boiled eggs,
2) 5-6 minutes for a a firmer soft-boiled egg with a creamy yolk, or
3) 10 minutes for hard-boiled eggs.
Scoop out the eggs and immediately shock them in ice water. That stops the cooking process. Peel the eggs and enjoy!

If you wanna go the extra mile, here's something you can do. This is best done with the eggs boiled for 5-6 minutes.
1) Mix together equal parts water and sake, and half that of soy sauce, mirin and sugar e.g. 1 cup of water and sake, half cup of soy sauce, mirin and sugar. Mix until sugar dissolves.
2) Place peeled eggs into container. Pour the mixture over the eggs. Try to get a container that let's the eggs stay submerged e.g. a pitcher. Cover and let it marinade in the fridge for a minimum of 4 hours and up to 12 hours. Reheat as needed.
This is great for ramen, or any soupy noodle dish.
~~~~~~
Well, that's all folks! Hope you enjoy the recipes!

 

[Evillevi]

pull in the sides of the cooked egg and tilt the pan to let the uncooked egg get in contact with the heat.

Click to shrink...

Like the post, just one thing. What do you mean by pull in?

 

[Malaquez]

Like the post, just one thing. What do you mean by pull in?

Click to shrink...

Glad you liked it!
Ok, so what I meant by 'pull in' is as the egg cooks in the pan, use the spatula to pull in the edges that are already cooked to the center of the pan, then tilt the pan to let the uncooked egg slide onto the free space. This helps the egg cook more evenly and also creates a more fluffy texture.
Another way is to just scramble the egg the moment it hits the hot pan. Get your spatula in there and move it around vigorously. This does the above but faster, at the expense of appearance. Your omelette won't look exactly great, but at least it tastes good!

 

[alhambra]

I like the recipies!

 

[Imabot]

Today I'll share a recepie for one my favorite baking product.

Mexican Bread ( I not from Mexico it just called like that):

Ingredients:

3 Eggs

1 Spoon of Sugar

120 ml of Oil.

200 g of Corn from a can

100 g of grated Cheddar cheese

One half of Red Paprika cut into small pieces.

One half of Green Paprika cut into tiny pieces.

200 grams of beacon or or ham also cut into small pieces.

200 grams of wheat flour

Half spoon of bakig soda

Half spoon of salt.

Spoon of Paprika powder (spiciness up to own preference)

Recepie:

1.We take corn and mix with half of the milk for a short while in food processor on a bowl with a mixer unltil corn will turn into smaller pieces.

2. In separate bowl we mix oil, eggs, sugar and rest of the milk.

3. We add bacon, cheese, paprica, corn mixed with milk and carefully mix it all together.

4. We slowly add Baking Soda, Salt and Flour while mixing all ingredients untill it turn into doulgh.

5. Put dough into a baking form.

6. Bake it in a oven in temperature of 175°C for around 45-50 minutes.

7. Bon appetite.

 

[Student of Zelretch]

Zelretch's Baked Alaska

Spoiler: huge images

Zelretch's Baked alaska
Ingredients:
any non-olive food-grade oil, for brushing
1 pint raspberry sorbet, softened
1 pint vanilla ice cream, softened
1 quart chocolate ice cream, softened
1 cup chocolate wafer crumbs (about 17 crushed wafers)
2/3 loaf pound cake
For the Meringue:
1 cup egg whites (about 8 large), at room temperature
1 tsp of cream of tartar
1 cup sugar

Make the ice cream cake: Brush a 3-quart bowl with oil; line completely with plastic wrap. Fill the bowl with scoops of the sorbet, vanilla ice cream and half of the chocolate ice cream, alternating small and large scoops to create a mosaic of colors and shapes.Cover the ice cream with the wrap; press down to close the air gaps and even out the surface. Remove the plastic wrap, sprinkle the ice cream with the wafer crumbs and re-cover with the plastic wrap, pressing gently. Freeze until set (at least 20 minutes.)
Remove the wrap and spread the remaining chocolate ice cream in an even layer on top of the crumbs. Cut the pound cake into 1/2 to one inch-thick slices; completely cover the ice cream with the slices, trimming as needed (you'll use about two-thirds of the cake, depending on bowl used). Cover with fresh plastic wrap and freeze until firm, at least 2 hours is recommended.
Make the meringue: Whip the egg whites and cream of tartar in a large bowl with a mixer on medium-high speed until foamy, about 2 minutes (if by hand, you're going to have a bad time.) Gradually beat in the sugar in at high speed, until the whites are glossy and hold stiff peaks.
Remove the top layer of plastic wrap, then invert the cake onto a parchment-lined baking sheet. (If necessary, let the cake stand overturned until it slips out.) Remove the rest of the plastic wrap and cover the ice cream completely with the meringue, making the dome-shaped top slightly thicker than the sides. Form whatever designs you are capable of in the meringue using the back of a spoon. Freeze for at least 3 more hours (if using a torch, you can switch this and the next step if you chose.)
If you do not have a cooking torch: Preheat the oven to 500 degrees. Bake the cake until the meringue peaks are golden, about 4 minutes.
OR brown the meringue with a blowtorch, as little or much as you desire; this can be artistic in and of its own merit. Let the cake soften at room temperature for 5 to 10 minutes before slicing. Freeze any leftovers. (if you have any, you're a heretic.)

 

[NinjaMAster]

Glaze for cookies, cakes, and other pastries.

Mix lemon juice with powdered sugar until thick, or to taste. Thinner mixes may require more applications. Place baked goods on a drying rack with wax-paper underneath the rack. Use a basting brush to apply the glaze to the baked product. Wait an hour between layers, and until dry before moving them. When storing glazed cookies, place wax-paper between layers of cookies to prevent sticking. Different fruit juices may be used, but some are overpowered by the sugar, or overpower the baked goods' taste.

Key lime pie.

Mix sweetened condensed milk with lime juice to taste. Pour into a gram cracker crust, cover, and place in the fridge overnight. Whipped cream can be added to firm up the pie, and green food coloring can make it look the correct color.

 

[konamikode]

Are you broke? Maybe just a bit lazy? Or you legitimately don't have the time to cook?

Spoiler: HOW DID YOU KNOW!!?!?!?

Well that's fine, because Kona's here to help you out!

Spoiler: BECAUSE ALL OF THOSE THINGS ARE EXACTLY WHERE I AM

I specialize in cheap, bulked out cooking that a single person can eat for days at a time with each meal loaded with enough calories to get you HUEG. The following recipes are not intended for those living a sedentary lifestyle.

No, that's a lie. You can totally eat the stuff I make by supplementing with mild exercise, correctly sizing your portions and-

BULKING YOUR MEAL EVEN FURTHER, DOOOOOYRAAAAA!!!
(With healthy, but cheap sides)

KONA'S HOT BLOODED SHOUNEN RECIPE # 1
THE CHUNKY JOE

---

Fair warning, I do most of my cooking by feel and this is generally how you get the best taste out of something. So don't be afraid to experiment a bit, look, smell, and most importantly taste every so often. The following is a rough guideline for my Chunky Joe recipe-

Yield: 6-12 Servings
By Cooking Order

Part 1: These numbers will give you a solid base to work with.
3 LBs of Ground Beef (The fatter, the better it will taste and the less you'll have to eat to feel full)
1 Tablespoon of Salt (I'm usually pretty conservative when it comes to sodium)
1 1/2 Large Yellow Onion
6 Pieces of Chopped Garlic
2 Cups of Rehydrated Shiitake Mushroom Chunks*****
The Shiitake is what makes this recipe so good. The extra 'chunk' and texture it provides is amazing and also acts as a sponge that soaks up all the flavorful juice you'll have leftover from cooking the meat and veg!
2-3 Tablespoons of Brown Sugar

Part 2: This is where you get to start playing around with the sauce, proper.
Fuckton of Ground Pepper (Get a grinder and fresh peppercorns. You won't regret it)
Enough Ketchup to juuust cover the meat
A spoonful of Dijon Mustard
(The above is all you really need)

Kona's personal touches
A Dash of Soy Sauce
Crushed red pepper flakes to taste
Jalapenos to taste
Sriracha
Tabasco
Half a shot of whiskey)

Directions: HOW DO?
Prep: Have your meat defrosted and start laying out everything you'll need. You'll need a large pot + frying pan if you want to do this right, or just a big sauce pan if you're being lazy

I generally prep, cook, and clean all at the same time, but that can take a bit of practice for people less used to maximizing their efficiency in the kitchen. So instead, just lay whatever you need beforehand in the order you'll be using them :3

Step 1: Make sure the pan is slightly smoking before you put the oil in and give said oil about ten-fifteen seconds to get up to temp

The idea here is to minimize the meat that sticks to the pan. The hot oil will flash cook the meat so less of it sticks when it hits the pan itself!

Step 2: You're going to want to set the burner at medium highish. Carefully spoon in the ground beef and begin mixing and crumbling it up. Ground beef doesn't take long to brown so don't be afraid to mess with it. Add the salt in while you're doing this.

Step 3: Transfer the meat into your pot, don't turn on the burner yet.
(I normally do not drain the fat when I do this, but feel free to do so to get something a bit healthier )

Step 4: There should be a good amount of grease still left in the pan, throw in your diced onions at the same level of heat followed by your garlic and mushrooms after a minute and cook them up for another minute longer to get the onions oiled up and shiny!

The key to getting a nice cook on onions is to hit what I call the sweet spot. An onion makes a sexy little hissing noise when it hits the pan and as long as you hear that, you know that you aren't overcooking the onion.

Step 5: Transfer that over into the pot where a little bit of grease and leftover moisture should have formed at the bottom of the pot. Turn on the heat to a nice medium and start mixing everything together followed quickly by the brown sugar.

You're going to want to let the brown sugar melt in a bit before you start adding the other sauces. Makes it way easier to mix and you'll get a more accurate tasting of what your final product will be like!

Step 6: Just start adding the sauces in the order listed above and mix everything up. You'll want to stir occasionally while the sauce warms up.

Step 7: Once your sloppy joe mix starts to simmer and bubble softly, you're pretty much done. Turn off the heat, mix once more and put a lid on to keep it warm.

Step 8: Serve with a side of your choice! Chunky Joe goes well with pretty much any carb and veg combination!

---

Notes: The mix will stay good without being put in the fridge for about two days as long as you keep it covered. I haven't tried it yet, but you could probably make this recipe still taste pretty decent if you decide to use a slow cooker!

This recipe can also act as a vegan style sloppy joe by replacing the meat with more shiitake and adding in a bell pepper or two!

 

[konamikode]

YOOOOOOSH! THE TIME HAS COME FOR THE NEXT RECIPE MY MOST YOUTHFUL STUDENT!

KONA'S HOT BLOODED SHOUNEN RECIPE # 2
HOT SWAPPABLE FILLER STEW: TACTICAL AS SHIT EDITION

-----

Oftentimes the fridge and pantry feel like they are empty, or you may feel that a favorite recipe of yours is completely defunct because you happen to be missing one or two 'key' ingredients. Anyone can make a cheap, bulky meal without a ton of fancy ingredients to make something taste good. The 'recipe' today is less of a complete one, but a quick lesson on what works well enough together that you can just throw all of them into a crock pot / slow cooker and have a ready meal in about 4-8 hours depending on your cook setting.

Heavy Stews (Brown-Reddish in color)

Basic Recipe:
1 - 1.5 lbs Protein: You can use just about any kind of cheap cut of whatever animal you want
1 - 1.5 lbs of Potatoes: Get the cheap ass big ol brown ones (Russet). Really helps to bulk up a meal and the starch will help make the soup thicker
2-3 heaping cups of *Filler Veg/Grain*: Corn, canned tomato chunks, carrots, broccoli, mushrooms, beans*, rice, something that helps to fill up the gap
*Make sure to soak your beans for about 6-8 hours prior to cooking.
***TOXICITY WARNING: Kidney beans MUST BE COOKED AT BOILING TEMPS after being soaked for 10-15 minutes prior to being thrown into a slow cooker!
1 - 1 1/2 Large Onion: Yellow onion is your cheapest option and they get pretty big. Not only does it add to the bulk of a meal, you get a lot of good veggie broth from this stuff!
3-5 Tablespoons of Dehydrated Beef Stock: Go to your local asian market and get yourself a huge bag of the stuff. It's cheap and it makes for fanfuckingtastic gravy mix.
Salt and Pepper to taste: Self explanatory
Water: The general rule of thumb for stews is just enough to cover it, but if you're going to be using beans or rice in the mix, add additional water.
Roux: A Roux is a mixture of some kind of oil (usually butter) and flour cooked up on a pan that you add either milk or meat broth to make a gravy or a sauce. For darker stews, don't worry about adding milk unless you like something creamier. Just cook a batch of about 1.5 - 2 cups of flour mixed in with half a cupish of oil in a pan for a minute until it gets bubbly. You can do this at the end of the cooking process when you get home and dump it into the stew mix and stir. Leave the cooker on high for about 20-30 minutes and you'll be ready to serve!

Gettin Fancy: Some other things you can dump in for a little zing
Bay Leaves: These things are amazing. Drop in 3-4 of these things to really bring out the flavors!
Actually Just Bay Leaves. Everything Else I decide to add, I do it on a whim to experiment: This*

Good Sides: Stew is great and all, but usually you want to eat something else along with it for greater satisfaction!
Carbs: Rice, noodles, or bread. Simple and clean. Think about adding dumplings for some extra 'heft'! Crackers are pretty nice too~

Light* Stews (White-Yellowish in color)
*Depends entirely if you decide to thicken up the soup base with a roux* towards the end of the cooking. If added you'll end up with a cream of chicken/mushroom/etc type of soup/stew rather than chicken noodle or something.

Basic Recipe:
Essentially the same as above minus a few things-
Protein: You'll probably want to use a bird here. I suppose you could do reptile? I usually use chicken or turkey thighs bone in with skin as this way you pretty much get bird stock with the type of cooking you are doing. It's hard to get flavor out of a breast. Cheap cuts of pork are pretty good here too, I tend to use bone in loin.
Beans:You want to use lighter colored beans if at all.
Tomato Based products: You could, but you'd probably be better off using something like pesto instead if you like Italian type flavoring.
Roux is optional: Sometimes you don't need something thick, but something light.
Don't use beef stock: No need for it. Just use salt and pepper to taste and a milk based roux if you want.

---

How to Cook

Step 1: Dump everything into a crock pot starting with your heavier veg followed by your meat, and top with your lighter stuff before throwing everything else in there.
Step 2: Cook on low for 8 hours or high for 4 hours
Step 3: Add your Roux to thicken if you want. Cook on high for 20-30 minutes after stirring.
Step 4: Ladle that shit into a bowl, grab your side of choice, and feast.

 

[Biigoh]

While this is not a recipe per se... it's something handy for cooking.

Spring onions aka Scallions or Green Onion.

I find that it helps after buying spring onions, to wash them when I get home and pat them dry.

After that, slice them thinly before patting them dry again.

Next, take a small plastic container and line the bottom with paper towels and refrigerate them.

This keeps them from wilting and going to waste if you're not going to use up an entire bunch all at once or quickly.

 

[Malaquez]

While this is not a recipe per se... it's something handy for cooking.

Spring onions aka Scallions or Green Onion.

I find that it helps after buying spring onions, to wash them when I get home and pat them dry.

After that, slice them thinly before patting them dry again.

Next, take a small plastic container and line the bottom with paper towels and refrigerate them.

This keeps them from wilting and going to waste if you're not going to use up an entire bunch all at once or quickly.

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Oooh, nice.
Also adding on to this. You keep spring onion stalks in a vase of water to have 'infinite' green onions to use. Just snip off the green parts and they'll grow back.

 

[Snake/Eater]

Has anyone ever done anything with ramen noodles to make it better?

 

[Evillevi]

Has anyone ever done anything with ramen noodles to make it better?

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Boil the ramen noodles and drain it once it is sufficiently soft.

Cooked some chicken on medium with oil and finely sliced ginger (at a bit of water/oil as preferred to keep it moist and a bit saucelike). At enough soysause to brown the dish and some sugar at the last 5% of the frying stage (the point where the chicken is cooked to your preferences. I like it rare/raw-ish but you would probably be different. ).

Switch off the heat and add in the ramen noodles. Stir it well.

And done.

 

[seeing_octarine]

Has anyone ever done anything with ramen noodles to make it better?

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Spoiler: Yes, I know this isn't an imageboard. Shush.

A lot of people have. My personal favourites are

shin ramyun + shallots (aka green onion) + egg
mi goreng + peas/corn/carrot + egg (poached separately)

Then there's making ramen from scratch which is a whole 'nother ball game.

 

[Malaquez]

I like it rare/raw-ish but you would probably be different.

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Correct me if I'm wrong, but won't eating raw chicken give you salmonella?

 

[Evillevi]

Correct me if I'm wrong, but won't eating raw chicken give you salmonella?

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It's not a problem in Malaysia and I'm willing to take the 1% risk of me being wrong.

 

[NinjaMAster]

Has anyone ever done anything with ramen noodles to make it better?

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If you get ramen that comes with its spices in a separate packet, you can use any sauce you want on the noodles and save the spices for something else. This also allows you to buy strange flavors that usually cost less. With the small noodle size, most ramen-compatible sauces are light, like broth, or a light coating of butter covered in the cheapest Parmesan you can find, which clumps up into little balls of deliciousness, unlike good grated Parmesan which practically dissolves in warm butter.

The leftover spices work great as seasoning for ground beef. They are already ground fine enough to not cause structural instability when mixed into burger patties. Even the weirder flavors taste good when mixed into a burger patty.

 

[Evillevi]

So here's a tip.

When digging into frozen anything (currently for me that is ice cream) use a fork. The prongs allow you to apply more pressure and thus have an easier time digging out that frozen thingy

 

[Sword Stalker]

Anyone got any tips on making chocolate cake?

 

[Evillevi]

Anyone got any tips on making chocolate cake?

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Don't use white chocalate, Milk chocolate and extra castor sugar when icing it. Otherwise it becomes sickeningly sweet.

 

[Sword Stalker]

Fair enough. Thank you for the heads up.

 

[NinjaMAster]

Baking chocolate works well, carob does not.