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favorite quotes or quotes you created yourself

from the ever wonderful A Practical Guide to Evil:

"Those who live by the sword kill those who don't."

"Without enemy, without backbone."

"Fear is the mother of character. Without it we remain children until death."

"What Foundling does isn't thinking outside the box so much as stealing the box and hitting her opponents with it until they stop moving."

"Maybe I won't go to Heaven but you've never owned a pit full of man-eating tapirs so who's the real loser here?" – Dread Empress Atrocious, best known for comprehensive tax reform and having been eaten by man-eating tapirs. They were later executed by her successor for treason after a lengthy trial.

"Oh, on most days we lose. But once in a while, just once, it works. And those moments of perfect clarity where all the world is in the palm of your hand, a hundred thousand middling minds made into flawless assembly by your will? Those are worth all the rest."

"I imagine the High Lords would be inclined to protest the mind control, if I hadn't seized control of their minds, which just goes to show this was the right decision all along."

"In conclusion, the court recognizes the desertion of the sentient tiger army raised by Dread Emperor Sorcerous as sufficient precedent to rule that tapirs can, in fact, commit treason but that lack of sentience bars them from laying claim to the Tower by right of usurpation." – Official transcript from the Trial of Unexpected Teeth, which resulted in the execution of the man-eating tapirs that devoured Dread Empress Atrocious

"I'm not saying all your closest friends are shapeshifting devils I sent to spy on you after having the originals murdered, but I'm certainly implying it very heavily."

"Despise not the treacherous but instead the weak, for while both serve the same purpose where treachery requires skill and daring weakness requires only mediocrity."


and of course every single one of the two hundred Heroic Axioms that littered this wonderful story :D
 
It's not very orignal but my favourite qoute is "IT IS WHAT IT IS"
 
the car horn is an interesting semiotics case study because it's like a language where the only word is "fuck you"
 
"Honey may catch more flies than vinegar, but vinegar catches more than nothing at all"

"Better a snake oil salesman than one of platitudes because at least with snake oil you don't walk away empty handed"
 
"The Babel fish is small, yellow and leech-like, and probably the oddest thing in the Universe. It feeds on brainwave energy received not from its own carrier but from those around it. It absorbs all unconscious mental frequencies from this brainwave energy to nourish itself with. It then excretes into the mind of its carrier a telepathic matrix formed by combining the conscious thought frequencies with the nerve signals picked up from the speech centres of the brain which has supplied them. The practical upshot of all this is that if you stick a Babel fish in your ear you can instantly understand anything said to you in any form of language. The speech patterns you actually hear decode the brainwave matrix which has been fed into your mind by your Babel fish.
Now it is such a bizarrely improbable coincidence that anything so mindbogglingly useful could have evolved purely by chance that some thinkers have chosen it to see it as a final and clinching proof of the non-existence of God.
The argument goes something like this: "I refuse to prove that I exist," says God, "for proof denies faith, and without faith I am nothing."
"But," says Man, "the Babel fish is a dead giveaway isn't it? It could not have evolved by chance. It proves you exist, and therefore, by your own arguments, you don't. QED."
"Oh dear," says God, "I hadn't thought of that," and promptly vanishes in a puff of logic.
"Oh, that was easy," says Man, and for an encore goes on to prove that black is white and gets killed on the next zebra crossing."


- Douglas Adams, The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy


"Stand in the ashes of a trillion dead souls and ask the ghosts if honor matters. The silence is your answer"

- Javik (Mass Effect 3)
 
"What do you see in the cosmos? Can you see the threads of woven space-time? No? I see, you haven't gotten that far yet. Who am I? I am Magnus. I am the 1337th iteration of the Cosmic Oracle Program. I see worlds traveling in this Harmonic Omniverse far and wide. I am also a dedicated wanderer from time and time again."
- from "Ars Magia", a story by MAGNUS1337/ArsMagna1337

The story where this came from is still in the works, I'm doing the worldbuilding first before the story so I won't cause any problems. I also need to ensure the rules of the setting's magic won't cause problems later on.
 
People will hate you regardless of what you do, think or become. So be true to yourself and don't bend yourself over for others, less effort that way. - Katanasoul_91.

Its better to improve yourself over making a new mask for everyone you get to meet. Its the difference between being hatred for being superior to them, vs the one of being fake. - Katanasoul_91.
 
Just know that having something to lose... is what makes life worth living."
― Harry Hart
 
Meat... dish?
Hmm, anything with BIG, GIGANTIC, GIRTHY COCKS!
COCK DRUMSTICKS, LARGE AND JUICY! FRIED DRUMSTICKS, WITH THE ESSENCE OF COCKS LOCKED IN ITS SUCCULENT MEAT!
COCKS WHOSE BONES I CAN CHEW THROUGH FOR THE SWEET, DELICIOUS, FLAVOURFUL MARROW!
BIG COCKS, LITTLE COCKS, I LOVE EATING COCKS, ESPECIALLY THE SKIN WHERE THE FLAVOUR IS CONCENTRATED!
THE BONES TOO, BECAUSE IT'S NOT COCK-GOBBLIN' IF YA DON'T EVEN TRY TO CRACK THE BONES!
 
"I feel like the third inescapable fact of life after death and taxes is that there is no situation so bad that it couldn't get worse."

"Incentive Structures Govern Everything"

"General Myer's career follows that of other great conquerors like Harald Hardrada and Napoleon in that he was lucky (and thus victorious) until he wasn't"
 
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My friend giving lecture to students on neo-Confucianism:
So, it was established that human nature is good. Or, more correctly, it was established that Ancients considered human nature to be good - and those who consider otherwise, understood Ancients incorrectly!
This one my Koreist friends attribute to myself, though I'm not sure as we used it for some 10+ years:
To the bold provocation of North Korea making a nuclear strike against Japan, South Korea provided an adequate response - also making a nuclear strike against Japan!
(To those not having friends specialising in Korean history: it's an old tradition in the country to hate Japan - predating the country split and possibly going back to 16th century... ;) )
 
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Finally, somewhere I can dump the random stuff I sometimes think qualify as barely profound!

If words are the end results of thought, why do people need to actively be told to "think before you speak?" - NooneImportant, 201X

Life's a big joke: When you live, it's called a comedy. When you die, it's called a tragedy.
Doesn't everyone die in the end? Well, that's Black Comedy in a nutshell. - NooneImportant, 20XX-ish I think.

"Am I ready? Nope. Anyone care? Nope!" - NooneImportant, all the time.

I've had no idea what I'm doing for 21 years. I'm 21. - NooneImportant, 20XX updating quote every year.

Those who prefer dreams to reality, prefer a reality that isn't their reality.
If your dream became reality, it isn't exactly a dream anymore. - NooneImportant, 20XX after playing Persona 4, I think?

You never stop learning because you keep learning that what you learnt is useless and you need to learn something else. - NooneImportant, 202X

You can't get ahead when you can't catch up. - NooneImportant, 201X

"I think I managed to learn something. Apparently, I have learned that I haven't learned shit at all!" - NooneImportant, 202X

Love is apparently: "Baby don't hurt me: Don't hurt me; no more." - NooneImportant, 201X
 
No story, I think a friend shared it with me is some form or another. I used it as a character's response to "How dare you delegitimize our system of government!". The same character similarly responds on a different occasion with "Your inability to tell the difference between moral desert and the expected consequences of actions is none of my concern". If you can't tell, he's kind of a Jerk.

"The manufacturing process for an <Streng Geheim> is conceptually quite simple. First take a man, and then strip away everything that makes him admirable, and you have one. Conscience, honor, mercy, love, virtue, morality, qualia - all admirable, all chains, and all unneeded for our purposes. One might imagine him freer than when he started, but his chains, though fewer, bind him ever more tightly"- myself, same setting as above

"I don't like your name. I don't like your tone. I don't like who you work for. I don't think that you have the education to be entitled to an opinion (oh, you do have a degree in the relevant subject - well you need a higher one/be actively involved in research). I don't believe you actually know the source material from which you took that quote you used (you must have just googled it). I don't trust the sources that you do use. You don't have the right antecedents so your argument is facially invalid because you aren't entitled to an opinion. I somehow know your real motivations, and I don't like those either. You haven't fulfilled your "Simon says" quota of unrelated things, so you can't have an opinion on this topic. I know that you're a hypocrite.
There is always, always, some pretext for avoiding the substance of the argument" - me, after getting annoyed.

"Here we find further argument for Gotagga's supposition that the world is round. How else could all men stand higher than their brothers?" - R. Scott Bakker

"Ever are men deceived" - R. Scott Bakker (really summarizes the entire Second Apocalypse series)
 
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"The idea that we are not monsters is based on a fundamental misunderstanding: that we can and should conform to conceptual categories.
Monsters are things that are almost human- but fail to fit the mold.
Monsters are unnatural: things that should not be, because everything should be clearly human, or not. Vampires -for example - are almost human, except they are dead. Werewolves are almost human, except they are also animals. Witches are almost human, except they fly and eat newts. Giants are almost human, except too big.
We are almost human, too, except-
Except when we aren't. Except when what we feel, and do, and experience makes no sense, when measured against concepts of humanness. Except when we look in a mirror..." - I don't know

"l am the Master Liar
My pants, forever on fire
And trust me when I say,
you can trust no one, especially not me today
I mock you now with my lies
My unspeakable truth,
felt clearly between your minds' eyes
You know exactly of what I am truly speaking,
a trick you must soon learn:
to weapon words with extra meaning" - I don't know

"My beliefs are simply that I love other people and wish nothing but the best for them. And if you disagree with me on that (or really any issue I deem important), then I hate you and want you to die".

"I'm surprised that I have to explain to a group of fully grown adults that lying as a matter of policy is morally and practically wrong, but here we go…"
 
"I am the Lord of all that is golden!" Godrick the Grafted, Elden Ring

"Heed my words. I am Malenia, Blade of Miquella. And I have never known defeat." Malenia, likewise Elden Ring
 
"Everybody knows the world is full of stupid people." Song lyric from Banditos by The Refreshments

"You are blissfully free from the ravages of intelligence." Evil Genius in Time Bandits

"The sum of the intelligence of the planet is a constant; the population is growing." Cole's Axiom

"Sultan: Have you any famous last words?
Baron Munchausen: Not yet.
Sultan: "Not yet"? Is that famous?" The Adventures of Baron Munchausen

"Do you suppose I can buy back my introduction to you?" Groucho Marx in Monkey Business
 

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