MizMahem
Wholesomely Lewd
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- Jul 20, 2017
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Maybe (probably?) I was being an ass, but this tickled my funny bone:
A very serious discussion about cats vs commoners vs dire geese.
sleepyblooshy: Iirc a cat can kill a peasant in dnd
sleepyblooshy: Well they can do that in real life
sleepyblooshy: But in dnd it's much more easy
TotalAbsolutism: I mean, that depends.
TotalAbsolutism: A housecat has 2 HP, does 1 damage in melee, and an AC of 14.
TotalAbsolutism: And adult human will have anywhere from 3 to 15 HP depending on Con mod and how well they roll.
TotalAbsolutism: Probably an AC of 10.
DNSFW: A cat can kill the party wizard
DNSFW: unless the party wizard has magic missile
DNSFW: which even if they do, the cat might STILL kill them
TotalAbsolutism: Again, only really true at level one and even then not really.
TotalAbsolutism: Assuming they have a quarterstaff.
TotalAbsolutism: Or any melee weapon.
DNSFW: yeah
TotalAbsolutism: So the Cat hits the commoner on a 6+ for 1 damage twice, then on an 11+ for 1 damage once.
DNSFW: I'm just noting
TotalAbsolutism: But it has to enter your square to do so; if you're armed you get an AoO and can slap at it once.
TotalAbsolutism: Even a L1 wizard with eight strength has 30% chance to hit it then.
TotalAbsolutism: And about a 50% chance of instantly taking it out.
TotalAbsolutism: A L3 commoner, so average adult, will be able to kick the cat on a 13+, and does 1d3 damage unarmed.
TotalAbsolutism: Arguably more if wearing a good boot, but we'll put that aside.
DNSFW: of course, all this abstraction is just poking fun at the wizard
TotalAbsolutism: Possibly 1d3+1 with an okay strength.
TotalAbsolutism: Assuming average HP, the cat needs to enter their three times square and attack them and hit with all three attacks for at least three rounds straight without missing.
TotalAbsolutism: their square three times
TotalAbsolutism: And if the commoner has a weapon, the cat almost certainly loses.
TotalAbsolutism: A L1 commoner should more accurately as a literal child.
TotalAbsolutism: *known as
TotalAbsolutism: So yeah. The Cat vs Commoner thing is still flawed, but not as bad as it initially seems.
MizMahem: what about a geese though: https://drive.google.com/open?id=0B8G8GbLwU9eKazRfVF9SOGJpa0E
TotalAbsolutism: That's a dire goose.
TotalAbsolutism: Oh, and standard.
MizMahem: There is also stats for a regular goose
TotalAbsolutism: Yeah, it already has too much HP.
MizMahem: It went to the gym.
TotalAbsolutism: Also, toughness as a bonus feat?
TotalAbsolutism: That's... really not borne out by reality.
MizMahem: it's a tough goose
TotalAbsolutism: It's meant to be CR 1/2
MizMahem: that's what the sheet says
TotalAbsolutism: Yeah, I am expressing doubt.
MizMahem: Dire Goose will straight up murder a whole town full of commoners.
MizMahem: they stand no chance
TotalAbsolutism: Hmm... depends how big the town is.
TotalAbsolutism: Looking at it...
TotalAbsolutism: 48 HP is within the realm of possibility for maybe twenty farmers with basic weapons.
TotalAbsolutism: Maybe ten, even.
TotalAbsolutism: The first 'normal' goose has more HP than a wolf, though.
TotalAbsolutism: It's nearly as tough as your average horse, even.
MizMahem: you ever see a goose fight a wolf? No. The wolves know better.
TotalAbsolutism: Wolves do eat geese.
MizMahem: unpossible. They are protected by the migratory bird act of 1918.
TotalAbsolutism: ...
TotalAbsolutism: I'm clearly wasting my time engaging with this on a genuine level, so I will stop now.
A very serious discussion about cats vs commoners vs dire geese.
sleepyblooshy: Iirc a cat can kill a peasant in dnd
sleepyblooshy: Well they can do that in real life
sleepyblooshy: But in dnd it's much more easy
TotalAbsolutism: I mean, that depends.
TotalAbsolutism: A housecat has 2 HP, does 1 damage in melee, and an AC of 14.
TotalAbsolutism: And adult human will have anywhere from 3 to 15 HP depending on Con mod and how well they roll.
TotalAbsolutism: Probably an AC of 10.
DNSFW: A cat can kill the party wizard
DNSFW: unless the party wizard has magic missile
DNSFW: which even if they do, the cat might STILL kill them
TotalAbsolutism: Again, only really true at level one and even then not really.
TotalAbsolutism: Assuming they have a quarterstaff.
TotalAbsolutism: Or any melee weapon.
DNSFW: yeah
TotalAbsolutism: So the Cat hits the commoner on a 6+ for 1 damage twice, then on an 11+ for 1 damage once.
DNSFW: I'm just noting
TotalAbsolutism: But it has to enter your square to do so; if you're armed you get an AoO and can slap at it once.
TotalAbsolutism: Even a L1 wizard with eight strength has 30% chance to hit it then.
TotalAbsolutism: And about a 50% chance of instantly taking it out.
TotalAbsolutism: A L3 commoner, so average adult, will be able to kick the cat on a 13+, and does 1d3 damage unarmed.
TotalAbsolutism: Arguably more if wearing a good boot, but we'll put that aside.
DNSFW: of course, all this abstraction is just poking fun at the wizard
TotalAbsolutism: Possibly 1d3+1 with an okay strength.
TotalAbsolutism: Assuming average HP, the cat needs to enter their three times square and attack them and hit with all three attacks for at least three rounds straight without missing.
TotalAbsolutism: their square three times
TotalAbsolutism: And if the commoner has a weapon, the cat almost certainly loses.
TotalAbsolutism: A L1 commoner should more accurately as a literal child.
TotalAbsolutism: *known as
TotalAbsolutism: So yeah. The Cat vs Commoner thing is still flawed, but not as bad as it initially seems.
MizMahem: what about a geese though: https://drive.google.com/open?id=0B8G8GbLwU9eKazRfVF9SOGJpa0E
TotalAbsolutism: That's a dire goose.
TotalAbsolutism: Oh, and standard.
MizMahem: There is also stats for a regular goose
TotalAbsolutism: Yeah, it already has too much HP.
MizMahem: It went to the gym.
TotalAbsolutism: Also, toughness as a bonus feat?
TotalAbsolutism: That's... really not borne out by reality.
MizMahem: it's a tough goose
TotalAbsolutism: It's meant to be CR 1/2
MizMahem: that's what the sheet says
TotalAbsolutism: Yeah, I am expressing doubt.
MizMahem: Dire Goose will straight up murder a whole town full of commoners.
MizMahem: they stand no chance
TotalAbsolutism: Hmm... depends how big the town is.
TotalAbsolutism: Looking at it...
TotalAbsolutism: 48 HP is within the realm of possibility for maybe twenty farmers with basic weapons.
TotalAbsolutism: Maybe ten, even.
TotalAbsolutism: The first 'normal' goose has more HP than a wolf, though.
TotalAbsolutism: It's nearly as tough as your average horse, even.
MizMahem: you ever see a goose fight a wolf? No. The wolves know better.
TotalAbsolutism: Wolves do eat geese.
MizMahem: unpossible. They are protected by the migratory bird act of 1918.
TotalAbsolutism: ...
TotalAbsolutism: I'm clearly wasting my time engaging with this on a genuine level, so I will stop now.
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