Selfish - 5
Blackraptor
Not too sore, are you?
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I was pretty sure that it was the fantasy of a lot of men to be in their room, on their knees, in front of two beautiful girls. Unfortunately, based on the faces of the ones I was currently kneeling in front of, I didn't think my current situation would end with sexy results.
"Okay, look–" I tried to speak up but was immediately interrupted by Angie.
"No, Leon. You don't get to talk right now." She said in a very cold tone. Okay, that was completely understandable coming from her. It was still very scary though.
"Yes, dear." I muttered but thought better than to comment on the dusting of pink that appeared on her cheeks at my response.
"Control, are you here?" Angie called out to the room.
I am. Do you require anything, Miss Angelica?
"Can you go outside for a bit?" My stomach dropped at what she asked. Control hesitated for a moment before responding.
I understand.
Control then broke stealth and proceeded to float out the open window in my room.
"You know, Angie and I got a bit nervous when we were suddenly requested to meet with Queen Mylene at her office." Clarice picked up the conversation. She was smiling, but it was the kind of smile that a woman made when she was thinking of doing something that would hurt you. "We didn't know why she would need the two of us specifically. That was until we thought about our commonality."
"We asked you to do one thing, Leon. No, we actually asked you specifically not to do one thing." Angie scolded me while rubbing her forehead. She then started glaring at me again, making me flinch away. "So why is it that the Queen of Holfort offered us an accord, one that afforded her the right to become your lover even after our marriage?"
"She told us what you have been doing for her, Leon." Clarice sighed and shook her head. "In any other circumstance, Angie and I would be falling in love with you all over again with how sweet you have been. But you went too far and made her fall in love with you too."
"Okay, I understand that–"
"You don't, Leon. You don't understand what you have done. Queen Mylene is in love with you. Completely. When she talked about you, she looked like we do when we talk about you." Clarice interrupted me. The way she spoke and the words she said made me both terrified and elated at the same time.
"We are mad at you, Leon. We are utterly furious with you. We gave you our hearts and are willing to give you everything else, and what do you do? You take another woman into your arms behind our backs despite the fact that Clarice and I are already right here." Angie ranted at me, at the verge of tears. The elation I felt a moment before dying an ugly death. "You don't have any idea how much it hurt when it finally sunk in."
Seeing Angie's face made me start to stand up in concern, but she glared me back down to my knees.
"What you did for us all that time ago, your care, your affection, your friendship, your love, it was all magical. We both fell in love with you because of it. But we can't go through all this again only to have you be taken away by another woman. I won't accept that." Angie's face twisted in anger at the end of her statement.
What have I done? I was so focused on making a lonely woman happy that I didn't even think what that would look like to Angie and Clarice. It didn't matter that I did it with good intentions, I still did it without telling them anything. They both trusted me and I betrayed that trust.
Fuck.
"Tell us why we shouldn't just go back to our fathers and break off our engagements with you. You have one chance." My heart stopped at the finality in Angie's voice. She still looked like she was about to cry, but I could see the resolve in her eyes.
"Make it count, Leon. It would shatter our hearts, but we will break ties with you if you can't convince us." Clarice added with an empty smile, like she had already emotionally given up.
I opened my mouth to tell them that I wouldn't do something like that anymore but the words just wouldn't come out. Could I really say that? That I wouldn't do what I did for Mylene, Angie, and Clarice for someone else who really needed it if I had the chance? Deep in my heart, I couldn't promise that because I didn't know if I would have been able stop myself. Hell, wasn't that what I'm trying to do for Livia? For Marie?
I looked at Angie and Clarice and wanted to tell them that I was sorry, that I loved them, that it was a mistake, that I wanted to spend my life with them. But I couldn't.
Because it wasn't what they asked for.
They might have been willing to forgive me now if I said those words, but what about next time? How many times would I end up putting the two of them through that? The next thing I knew, I was already crying. Angie and Clarice were crying as well.
"I love you, Leon Fou Bartfort. But I need to be able to trust you as well." Clarice said through her tears as she leaned down and embraced me. "Thank you for loving me."
"We would have been fine with it, you know?" Angie bitterly said as Clarice stood up. She shook her head and closed her eyes. "Queen Mylene told us about how empty her marriage with the King has been. If you had just come to us and talked about it, we could have worked through it. Together. But you didn't, and that's what hurt us the most."
"We will be rejecting the Queen's offer and telling her of our decision in regards to our engagement. Make the Queen happy, Leon. Make this worth it. I love you." Angie said before she turned away from me and walked to the door.
"Bye, Leon." Clarice added as she followed Angie. The sound of the door closing echoed through the room.
I stayed there on my knees, staring at the door. I felt something on my shoulder after a while and saw that it was Control's drone. For once, they didn't have a clever remark and just stayed there in silence. I really appreciated it.
…
I sat on the floor of one of the Nagare's observation decks. It was Winter Break and I took advantage of any excuse to get out of the Academy. Angie and Clarice wouldn't talk to me anymore no matter what I did. I had received letters from their fathers expressing their concern that their daughters wanted to break off our engagements. They strongly urged that I find a way to mend our relationship before it was too late. Control also advised me to keep trying to reconcile, but I just felt so drained.
Marie took one look at me and winced. The boys found out what happened with the engagements through Julius and gave their support in their own ways. They even offered to bring me along on the training they were planning on doing over the break to take my mind off things.
Under normal circumstances, I would have jumped at the chance. I declined but Julius told me privately that Mylene wasn't happy with what happened either and would keep trying to talk to Angie and Clarice. I thanked the boys for trying to cheer me up before walking away.
Marie did get me alone one day and I more or less cried my heart out on her shoulder. My sister just stayed quiet through it and stroked my hair.
I really just wanted to get away from everything for a while at that point.
The door to the observation deck opened and someone walked up behind me. They knelt down and wrapped their arms around me.
"It's going to be okay." Livia said as she hugged me. She was here because of what she said when she found out about the situation with Angie and Clarice.
"I'll take care of it."
Livia definitely sounded scary when she said it. I headed her off before she did something to the girls and told her that I'd be happier if she kept me company during the break. Thankfully, she happily accepted.
"Clara and Deirdre are already in the cafeteria and are waiting for us. Lunch will get cold." Unfortunately, she made the same offer to her two new friends. Clara, being the devoted minion that she was, immediately accepted the offer to be useful to me in any way. Deirdre was just excited to be in the same ship as Black Getter, spending most of her time in the hangar and talking to Control about it.
"I'm not hungry." I flatly said.
"Don't lie. Not to me. You didn't eat breakfast either. Come on, you won't be able to explore the elf island if you're too hungry." She said as she pulled me to my feet with surprising strength. Elven Island was a pretty mundane place for the most part, the only real reason why you would have needed to go there in-game was for an event with the main protagonist's half-elf slave. There were some ruins there with some okayish loot but not much else.
Deirdre saw Livia drag me into one of the ship's cafeterias and waved to us. "You're here, good. We were about to start eating without you, Leon."
"I already had your lunch picked out as per Control's suggestions. Do you desire anything else, my Lord?" Clara asked, standing up and bowing to me. I looked at the spread food on the other side of the table the two of them were sitting at and saw my usual selections. "I also got you your lunch as well, Livia."
"Thanks Clara!" My best friend said with enthusiasm as she pulled me to the table. With a glance, Livia gently elbowed my side.
"No, I don't need anything right now. Thank you, Clara." I said, much to Clara's joy. I sat down and started eating, suddenly realizing how hungry I actually was once I smelled the food. The girls talked amongst themselves as we ate, but I didn't really join in on the conversation. They were mainly discussing what we might end up finding at the island.
I had a bit of time to think about how I fucked up with Angie and Clarice and I ended up just hating myself the more I thought about it. The very thing that Livia told me about a successful relationship, I totally failed at. The two of them gave me every possible opportunity to include them in the things I do and made their desires obvious but I just…kept turning my attention to literally anything else other than them. It wasn't intentional, but it's what ended up happening.
Leon, please report to the bridge. There seems to be a situation at Elven Island.
I looked at my current companions and back down at my food. Huh, when did I finish all of it? I guess I was on autopilot. "I'll see what Control wants. Please behave while I'm gone, Deirdre."
I ignored the girl's squawk of indignation and the gigglings of the other girls as I stood up and made my way to the bridge. I took my seat at the Captain's chair and the main displays of the bridge changed to show that there were a number of Holfort Military vessels moving around the island. What the hell is this now?
We are being hailed by one of the ships using rudimentary radio, shall I patch it though?
"Do it. I want to know what this is about." I told Control. I almost said no, but I couldn't shake the feeling that what was happening was important.
"I've heard of a ship that looks like yours from other Captains. I assume that I am speaking to the Doom Knight, Leon Fou Bartfort. Did the Queen send you?" The slightly distorted voice of an older man spoke through the bridge's speakers. I sighed at the mention of my apparently official title as a Knight. Damn you to hell, King Roland. Wait, why would he think that Mylene sent me?
"No, I actually came here to check the ruins around the island but it looks like there's something else going on." I said instead, there was a snort on the other side of the line before the Captain responded.
"That's an understatement. Listen, I know you're not here officially, but we could use some more help in trying to figure out what the hell happened on this island. All the recent monster attacks have stretched the army thin as of late. I can give you clearance to enter the airspace if you can give us a hand with this. I'll take care of any reports we might need to file if you find anything." He sounded pretty eager to get me onboard. Was he hoping that I'd do all the work for him, or were they just desperate for any help that swung their way?
"Can you give me a few minutes to think about it?" I asked instead.
"Of course, I understand." The Captain answered a moment later.
We are now muted.
"Can you call the others up here. I want to talk to them about this." I told Control. My inability to communicate to people and involve them in my actions and decisions dug me a hole I might not be able to climb out of. That doesn't mean that I had to keep doing it.
A quick explanation later, I presented the choice to Livia, Deirdre, and Clara. "We can just leave if you girls want. There are plenty of other islands that we can go adventuring at."
Livia looked at the island on the displays as various military ships flew about. "But there could be trouble down there, right? Shouldn't we help?"
"Leon is already a full fledged knight, but the three of us have no such responsibility." Deirdre reasonably pointed out. "Though I admit that I am curious as to what would require this sort of presence considering the relative autonomy that the elves normally have."
"I will go with whatever you decide, my Lord." Clara's response was pretty much what I expected. Deirdre was a second year student and was apparently really good at combat magic. Clara could take care of herself using a sword and shield. Livia was apparently a gun mage and was very good at what she does, plus she can heal. With me and my tomahawks rounding things out, we had a pretty good party balance if we went down to the island.
"What do you think, Control? Go or no go?" I asked the AI.
I believe that this level of military presence is concerning, as Miss Roseblade mentioned. While we are under no obligation to assist in whatever investigation they are currently doing, we would be a boon for their efforts.
"Okay, patch me back to the Captain. We'll give them a hand, whatever this is." I said with a sigh. Time to see what nonsense this world had in store for me this time.
"Okay, look–" I tried to speak up but was immediately interrupted by Angie.
"No, Leon. You don't get to talk right now." She said in a very cold tone. Okay, that was completely understandable coming from her. It was still very scary though.
"Yes, dear." I muttered but thought better than to comment on the dusting of pink that appeared on her cheeks at my response.
"Control, are you here?" Angie called out to the room.
I am. Do you require anything, Miss Angelica?
"Can you go outside for a bit?" My stomach dropped at what she asked. Control hesitated for a moment before responding.
I understand.
Control then broke stealth and proceeded to float out the open window in my room.
"You know, Angie and I got a bit nervous when we were suddenly requested to meet with Queen Mylene at her office." Clarice picked up the conversation. She was smiling, but it was the kind of smile that a woman made when she was thinking of doing something that would hurt you. "We didn't know why she would need the two of us specifically. That was until we thought about our commonality."
"We asked you to do one thing, Leon. No, we actually asked you specifically not to do one thing." Angie scolded me while rubbing her forehead. She then started glaring at me again, making me flinch away. "So why is it that the Queen of Holfort offered us an accord, one that afforded her the right to become your lover even after our marriage?"
"She told us what you have been doing for her, Leon." Clarice sighed and shook her head. "In any other circumstance, Angie and I would be falling in love with you all over again with how sweet you have been. But you went too far and made her fall in love with you too."
"Okay, I understand that–"
"You don't, Leon. You don't understand what you have done. Queen Mylene is in love with you. Completely. When she talked about you, she looked like we do when we talk about you." Clarice interrupted me. The way she spoke and the words she said made me both terrified and elated at the same time.
"We are mad at you, Leon. We are utterly furious with you. We gave you our hearts and are willing to give you everything else, and what do you do? You take another woman into your arms behind our backs despite the fact that Clarice and I are already right here." Angie ranted at me, at the verge of tears. The elation I felt a moment before dying an ugly death. "You don't have any idea how much it hurt when it finally sunk in."
Seeing Angie's face made me start to stand up in concern, but she glared me back down to my knees.
"What you did for us all that time ago, your care, your affection, your friendship, your love, it was all magical. We both fell in love with you because of it. But we can't go through all this again only to have you be taken away by another woman. I won't accept that." Angie's face twisted in anger at the end of her statement.
What have I done? I was so focused on making a lonely woman happy that I didn't even think what that would look like to Angie and Clarice. It didn't matter that I did it with good intentions, I still did it without telling them anything. They both trusted me and I betrayed that trust.
Fuck.
"Tell us why we shouldn't just go back to our fathers and break off our engagements with you. You have one chance." My heart stopped at the finality in Angie's voice. She still looked like she was about to cry, but I could see the resolve in her eyes.
"Make it count, Leon. It would shatter our hearts, but we will break ties with you if you can't convince us." Clarice added with an empty smile, like she had already emotionally given up.
I opened my mouth to tell them that I wouldn't do something like that anymore but the words just wouldn't come out. Could I really say that? That I wouldn't do what I did for Mylene, Angie, and Clarice for someone else who really needed it if I had the chance? Deep in my heart, I couldn't promise that because I didn't know if I would have been able stop myself. Hell, wasn't that what I'm trying to do for Livia? For Marie?
I looked at Angie and Clarice and wanted to tell them that I was sorry, that I loved them, that it was a mistake, that I wanted to spend my life with them. But I couldn't.
Because it wasn't what they asked for.
They might have been willing to forgive me now if I said those words, but what about next time? How many times would I end up putting the two of them through that? The next thing I knew, I was already crying. Angie and Clarice were crying as well.
"I love you, Leon Fou Bartfort. But I need to be able to trust you as well." Clarice said through her tears as she leaned down and embraced me. "Thank you for loving me."
"We would have been fine with it, you know?" Angie bitterly said as Clarice stood up. She shook her head and closed her eyes. "Queen Mylene told us about how empty her marriage with the King has been. If you had just come to us and talked about it, we could have worked through it. Together. But you didn't, and that's what hurt us the most."
"We will be rejecting the Queen's offer and telling her of our decision in regards to our engagement. Make the Queen happy, Leon. Make this worth it. I love you." Angie said before she turned away from me and walked to the door.
"Bye, Leon." Clarice added as she followed Angie. The sound of the door closing echoed through the room.
I stayed there on my knees, staring at the door. I felt something on my shoulder after a while and saw that it was Control's drone. For once, they didn't have a clever remark and just stayed there in silence. I really appreciated it.
…
I sat on the floor of one of the Nagare's observation decks. It was Winter Break and I took advantage of any excuse to get out of the Academy. Angie and Clarice wouldn't talk to me anymore no matter what I did. I had received letters from their fathers expressing their concern that their daughters wanted to break off our engagements. They strongly urged that I find a way to mend our relationship before it was too late. Control also advised me to keep trying to reconcile, but I just felt so drained.
Marie took one look at me and winced. The boys found out what happened with the engagements through Julius and gave their support in their own ways. They even offered to bring me along on the training they were planning on doing over the break to take my mind off things.
Under normal circumstances, I would have jumped at the chance. I declined but Julius told me privately that Mylene wasn't happy with what happened either and would keep trying to talk to Angie and Clarice. I thanked the boys for trying to cheer me up before walking away.
Marie did get me alone one day and I more or less cried my heart out on her shoulder. My sister just stayed quiet through it and stroked my hair.
I really just wanted to get away from everything for a while at that point.
The door to the observation deck opened and someone walked up behind me. They knelt down and wrapped their arms around me.
"It's going to be okay." Livia said as she hugged me. She was here because of what she said when she found out about the situation with Angie and Clarice.
"I'll take care of it."
Livia definitely sounded scary when she said it. I headed her off before she did something to the girls and told her that I'd be happier if she kept me company during the break. Thankfully, she happily accepted.
"Clara and Deirdre are already in the cafeteria and are waiting for us. Lunch will get cold." Unfortunately, she made the same offer to her two new friends. Clara, being the devoted minion that she was, immediately accepted the offer to be useful to me in any way. Deirdre was just excited to be in the same ship as Black Getter, spending most of her time in the hangar and talking to Control about it.
"I'm not hungry." I flatly said.
"Don't lie. Not to me. You didn't eat breakfast either. Come on, you won't be able to explore the elf island if you're too hungry." She said as she pulled me to my feet with surprising strength. Elven Island was a pretty mundane place for the most part, the only real reason why you would have needed to go there in-game was for an event with the main protagonist's half-elf slave. There were some ruins there with some okayish loot but not much else.
Deirdre saw Livia drag me into one of the ship's cafeterias and waved to us. "You're here, good. We were about to start eating without you, Leon."
"I already had your lunch picked out as per Control's suggestions. Do you desire anything else, my Lord?" Clara asked, standing up and bowing to me. I looked at the spread food on the other side of the table the two of them were sitting at and saw my usual selections. "I also got you your lunch as well, Livia."
"Thanks Clara!" My best friend said with enthusiasm as she pulled me to the table. With a glance, Livia gently elbowed my side.
"No, I don't need anything right now. Thank you, Clara." I said, much to Clara's joy. I sat down and started eating, suddenly realizing how hungry I actually was once I smelled the food. The girls talked amongst themselves as we ate, but I didn't really join in on the conversation. They were mainly discussing what we might end up finding at the island.
I had a bit of time to think about how I fucked up with Angie and Clarice and I ended up just hating myself the more I thought about it. The very thing that Livia told me about a successful relationship, I totally failed at. The two of them gave me every possible opportunity to include them in the things I do and made their desires obvious but I just…kept turning my attention to literally anything else other than them. It wasn't intentional, but it's what ended up happening.
Leon, please report to the bridge. There seems to be a situation at Elven Island.
I looked at my current companions and back down at my food. Huh, when did I finish all of it? I guess I was on autopilot. "I'll see what Control wants. Please behave while I'm gone, Deirdre."
I ignored the girl's squawk of indignation and the gigglings of the other girls as I stood up and made my way to the bridge. I took my seat at the Captain's chair and the main displays of the bridge changed to show that there were a number of Holfort Military vessels moving around the island. What the hell is this now?
We are being hailed by one of the ships using rudimentary radio, shall I patch it though?
"Do it. I want to know what this is about." I told Control. I almost said no, but I couldn't shake the feeling that what was happening was important.
"I've heard of a ship that looks like yours from other Captains. I assume that I am speaking to the Doom Knight, Leon Fou Bartfort. Did the Queen send you?" The slightly distorted voice of an older man spoke through the bridge's speakers. I sighed at the mention of my apparently official title as a Knight. Damn you to hell, King Roland. Wait, why would he think that Mylene sent me?
"No, I actually came here to check the ruins around the island but it looks like there's something else going on." I said instead, there was a snort on the other side of the line before the Captain responded.
"That's an understatement. Listen, I know you're not here officially, but we could use some more help in trying to figure out what the hell happened on this island. All the recent monster attacks have stretched the army thin as of late. I can give you clearance to enter the airspace if you can give us a hand with this. I'll take care of any reports we might need to file if you find anything." He sounded pretty eager to get me onboard. Was he hoping that I'd do all the work for him, or were they just desperate for any help that swung their way?
"Can you give me a few minutes to think about it?" I asked instead.
"Of course, I understand." The Captain answered a moment later.
We are now muted.
"Can you call the others up here. I want to talk to them about this." I told Control. My inability to communicate to people and involve them in my actions and decisions dug me a hole I might not be able to climb out of. That doesn't mean that I had to keep doing it.
A quick explanation later, I presented the choice to Livia, Deirdre, and Clara. "We can just leave if you girls want. There are plenty of other islands that we can go adventuring at."
Livia looked at the island on the displays as various military ships flew about. "But there could be trouble down there, right? Shouldn't we help?"
"Leon is already a full fledged knight, but the three of us have no such responsibility." Deirdre reasonably pointed out. "Though I admit that I am curious as to what would require this sort of presence considering the relative autonomy that the elves normally have."
"I will go with whatever you decide, my Lord." Clara's response was pretty much what I expected. Deirdre was a second year student and was apparently really good at combat magic. Clara could take care of herself using a sword and shield. Livia was apparently a gun mage and was very good at what she does, plus she can heal. With me and my tomahawks rounding things out, we had a pretty good party balance if we went down to the island.
"What do you think, Control? Go or no go?" I asked the AI.
I believe that this level of military presence is concerning, as Miss Roseblade mentioned. While we are under no obligation to assist in whatever investigation they are currently doing, we would be a boon for their efforts.
"Okay, patch me back to the Captain. We'll give them a hand, whatever this is." I said with a sigh. Time to see what nonsense this world had in store for me this time.