OverMaster's Little Crummy Corner of Sub-Par Writing

[OverMaster]

Rentarou made a pause in amazement, before making a wide, shaky smile, eyes sparkling. "Why… I'm so honored! Hanezono-san, my answer is—"

"What, what are you doing, are you just jumping into his arms like that?!" Karane demanded of Hakari.

Hakari laughed softly, making Rentarou swoon. Such a beautiful, feminine laugh…

"Is there anything wrong about it?" she asked her roommate. "It's what I came here for, after all. You should be happy, we will now go out on our date and you can enjoy your truffles in peace…"

"He hasn't even said anything yet!" Karane pointed out.

"Of course I do!" Rentarou said in a hurry. Then he remembered, and he almost bit his tongue. "Ah! I mean-!"

Hakari smiled angelically and brought her hands together while Karane made a grimace. "Do you see, Ka-ra-ne-san? So strong is the power of my love that I didn't even need the clover after all!"

"That's what I was saying, that, that you don't need a stupid clover to…" Karane struggled to squeeze a moral victory out, at least. But suddenly that didn't matter at all. "I mean… Truffles… No, no, w-what I mean is… well…"

Hakari noticed a sudden change in her expression, going from that usual comical exasperation to almost looking on the edge of tears, and genuinely grew worried. "Karane-san? Are you-?"

"I don't care!" the blonde growled, pushing a hand ahead and shoving Rentarou back just as he tried to get closer to tell her something. "So what! It's just a stupid infatuation over a man you just met, I'm above those things! You won't last a week together anyway!"

"Karane-san," Rentarou said, "I… I'd like to tell you that…"

Hakari raised an eyebrow and grabbed him by an arm. "Aijo-kun?"

"Were you… were you intending to ask me out as well?" the boy asked the other girl.

Karane blushed harder than ever, and then socked him with a good punch to the face. Hakari gasped. "N-NO! Of course not! It's not like I like you or anything! Just go away with your new girlfriend for all I care! You don't owe me anything, right?!"

He rubbed his newly swollen cheek and doubted. This was a literal matter of life or death! "You're also lovely, of course, I wouldn't want to offend you by—"

"D-Dummy, why would you offend me when I've just told you I have no interest on you!" the shaking blonde looked aside, then pointed at the troubled looking Hanezono. "On the other hand, you ARE insulting her by showing interest on me after she asked you out!"

"She is right, Aijo-kun," Hakari said cautiously. "Did you come here for her, or me?"

"I came… for both of you, actually," he said, not finding anything better to answer.

The two girls stared at him, frowning.

He sighed. "In a perfect fair world, this wouldn't have to happen. But… Give me a break, please! We've just met! Let's take this easy and—"

"Okay, fine, that's a fair point!" Karane tossed her hands up. "So maybe we're rushing this! It's not like we're going to drop dead if you take a day to think this over, right?"

"Uhhhh… right!" he said.

Hanezono made a small frown, still holding onto his arm. "I suppose… But wait, you still haven't said you WANT TO date him!"

Karane mumbled between clenched teeth, then pulled out a pen and a small piece of paper. She hastily wrote on the latter and held it up, frowning and gazing at the grass. The paper read PLEASE DATE ME, YOU IDIOT.

"Um… Okay!" he nodded quickly. "That, that is-!"

"Aijo-kun!" Hanezono whined.

"Shaddap, I've thrown the gauntlet and you have to pick it up, on your honor as a woman!" Karane told her. She pointed at Rentarou. "One day! That's as much as we're going to wait for your answer! We hate wishy-washy men so you'd better have made your mind up by then!"

Rentarou deflated, realizing that fighting back now would only made everything even worse. "Okay…"

---

"… and?" Matoi asked.

"And then I left, feeling awful and very dizzy, and lost my way in the woods until I found your cabin," Rentarou said miserably.

"Okay, but where's the part where you murdered them and buried their bodies under the World Tree?" Matoi pressed on.

"I never did such a thing!" Rentarou gasped, horrified. "I left them perfectly fine, if still doomed because of me!"

"Then why do you say you killed them?" Makie asked.

"Makie-san, did you already forget the first part of his story?" Negi sighed. "If he rejects one of them, that young lady will suffer great misfortune and die…"

"That's right!" the older boy said. "And I've just entered a deal that will hurt at least one of them, but most likely both! They're roommates, so whoever loses will be constantly reminded of the fact! They'll make each other unhappy, and even if we get our relationship going, that's going to ruin it! They'll both suffer because of my indecisiveness, but deciding anything also leads to disaster! There's no way out! I'm in despair! This absurd, cruel situation has left me in despair!"

"Please don't say that…" Chachamaru said.

"Why? Do you see an alternative, a way I can make them happy?" Rentarou asked hopefully.

"No, what I mean is that you're stealing Itoshiki-sensei's beloved catchphrase," the gynoid said.

"Aaauugh!"

Ayaka looked at Skuld. "Does that surrealist story ring true, or is he making it up?"

Skuld shrugged. "The basics of it gel with the postulates of the Balance of Fortune and Misfortune in the Human Plane," she allowed. "And of course, it'd be just like Urd to commit such a careless mistake while failing to keep reports of who his soulmates are."

He threw himself to her feet. "Please help them out, Imouto-sama! I'll do anything!"

"What do you expect me to do?!" Skuld said. "I'm not a goddess of love!" She pointed at Negi. "He's a mage, ask him to brew a love potion for you!"

"I don't think that's going to help either since it'd only be a false love," Eva said, elegantly sipping from a cup of fragrant tea, sitting crosslegged. "It sucks to be you, Boya."

Negi frowned at Skuld. "Please, don't give my secrets away so happily."

Skuld waved a hand in circles. "Oh, you should've thought of how important your secrecy was before recruiting over half of your students for your pappy-searching crusade!"

"A… mage?" Rentarou blinked at Negi.

"An apprentice," Evangeline sneered. "A mere novice, still learning the most basic ropes of the mystery walk. A simple child, he cannot possibly help you, anymore than he can help himself…"

"Thanks for your usual vote of confidence, Master," Negi said dryly.

Eva got up with her small evil smirk on. "But I can help you," she told Rentarou. "If you beg me hard, long, and pathetically enough, I might be convinced to save those two harlots for you…"

---

To be Continued.

---

Next: Return of the Sakura Lane Vampire!

 

[OverMaster]

The 100 Girlfriends Who Really, Really, Really, Really Love You is the creation and intellectual property of Nakamura Rikito, Nozawa Yukiko and Shueisha.

All other characters and franchises mentioned in this story are the intellectual properties of their respective copyright and trademark holders.

---

"You know that if the Dorm Mother catches us outside this late, she's gonna kill us," Karane groaned as the two girls walked through the cold darkness. Or the dark cold. Pick your poison. It's actually the same, anyway.

Hakari shuddered a little, holding her fists close to her chest and glancing in all directions. Her legs were cold, and she was starting to regret wearing a skirt that short tonight. "Forget the Dorm Mother! Don't you remember what used to happen around here, months ago?"

"I can't say I do," Karane said indifferently. "Anything I should care about?"

"The vampire!" Hakari cried. "A creature who attacked several students in the dead of night, leaving them in the hospital! I know a girl who knew another girl who dated the brother of a girl whose best friend was attacked!"

"That sounds like the telephone game," Karane scoffed at the ridiculous idea of a vampire in Mahora of all places. "I bet you that skank was just bitten by some dog!"

"I hope you are right!" Hakari sighed. "I'd hate to be assaulted at the middle of nowhere by a tall, dark, handsome spawn of the grave, wrapping his arms around me, hugging me tightly, and then sinking his teeth in my flesh, suctioning my body fluids and transforming me into his eternal bride!" She began panting vigorously, with stars in her eyes. "That'd be so exciting, I mean terrifying and hideous!"

"If you're that afraid, which I doubt since you sound about to cream yourself, turn around and hide under your sheets fingering yourself!" Karane told her. "Geez, you can't even settle for being a coward or a pervert! You have to be both at the same time!"

"What if Aijo-kun is the vampire?" Hakari asked, half scared and half thrilled.

"You're a Twilight fan, aren't you?" Karane said. "I never had a high opinion of you, but I never imagined you could fall so low!"

Hakari frowned and blushed. "How insulting! If you're going to be a Tsundere, you've got to show some dere every once in a while, you know?"

"I'M NOT A TSUNDERE!" Karane roared, and then stopped abruptly, eyes shining as she pointed ahead. "Ah! There he is!"

Rentarou, as a matter of fact, was indeed standing under one of several cherry tress flanking the lonely boulevard, looking at his wristwatch and wondering what was taking the girls so long. The e-mail they'd sent him asking him to come here at this time of the night had seemed rather insistent on punctuality. Then again, maybe the Dorm Mother had caught them while they tried to sneak out. Oh no! Who knew what kind of torture they were undergoing right now, maybe they were being questioned by Nitta while forced to hold full buckets on their heads and sitting seiza!

Rentarou was about to pull an Emiya Shirou and run towards the staff offices to pull a suicide rescue operation on nothing but a confused heart's hunch, when he heard Hakari's beautiful voice, and sweet sweet relief washed over him.

"Aijo-kuuuuuun...!" the girl ran towards him very happily, chest bouncing respectably with each step. She hugged him, and he welcomed the contact with a nervous smile. "Thank God you came after all! Just like you promised...!"

Karane walked to them and mumbled bitterly. "Don't be so glad just yet, numbskull! You're about to be rejected after all!" She glared at Rentarou with oddly reddened eyes. "Right?"

The boy gulped. "Um, you'll see, about that-"

"What, what is it?" Karane demanded, as her breathing quickened and Hakari nuzzled her face against Rentarou's chest.

"I've thought about this a lot, Karane-san," the young man said. "I even consulted a few of... my friends on the subject, and-"

"YOU TOLD OTHERS ABOUT ME?!" Karane cried out, dismayed.

"I didn't mention your names, I only told them that I'd met two lovely girls who were roommates and asked me to choice between them! But, the thing is, things are more complicated than they seem..."

"How are they complicated, you just choose one of us, not that I care since I'll be fine with anything you decide, and then Hanezono walks back home, or she calls a taxi, whatever!" Karane ranted, looking at the edge of a breakdown. "Don't tell us that you still can't decide!"

Hakari stopped rubbing herself against him and asked in a small concerned voice, "Is she... I she right, Aijo-kun? You... You can't make your mind yet? But it's a no-brainer!"

"Just like him!" Karane sizzled.

The boy took an extremely deep breath. Whatever Evangeline-san had planned to do, it was clear she wouldn't be showing up. So it all was on him after all. Just as well. This was his responsibility and he'd been wrong trying to pull others into his own problems.

He did his best to smile and grabbed Hakari by the shoulders, gently. He looked down at her eager face preciously bathed by the full moonlight, and said softly, "We have just met, but I already can tell you are two peerless girls, which anyone would be glad to call girlfriends. You are more than I deserve, I'm sure, and it'd be unfair for me to leave you hanging, or hurt either of you with a rejection, so..."

"Oh my God, you're going to reject us both for fucking fairness' sake, aren't you," Karane dreaded.

Hakari hiccuped in mounting fear. "Aijo-kun! Are you gay?!"

"It's not that...!" he said. "What I mean to tell you is that-!"

Then a much stronger burst of icy wind blew all over them, flipping Hakari's skirt up, and the girl shrieked while Karane, who had brought pants to the date, looked aside, following the loud sounds of large bat wings flapping nearby. She heard Rentarou gasp, and she followed his gaze upwards with hers. Hakari did the same.

The three of them found themselves staring at a voluptuous, mysterious blonde woman with very long hair and wearing a sulty black dress, standing on top of a lampost and smiling sensuously at them. Hakari crossed her legs together and repressed a deep moan. Rentarou moved quickly before both of the girls, instinctively shielding them with his body.

"I am the Messenger of Death, the Plague of the Undead traveling on dark wings," the stranger crooned, striking a dramatic outline against the disc of the Moon. "I am Dark Evangel, mightiest of all vampires. And you, witless children, are my latest meal!"

She jumped down on them, and there were two high pitched squeals.

---

The 108 Girlfriends who Really, Like Really, I mean it, Man, Really Love You, Dude.

---

Chapter Two: Return of the Sakura Lane Vampire.

 

[OverMaster]

"Oh my dear God," a visibly rattled Yukihiro Ayaka gasped, standing on a nearby rooftop with Negi and Asuna. "Hanezono Hakari! That's Hanezono Hakari!"

"One of your rich friends?" Asuna guessed.

"She's not my friend!" Ayaka said. "Her family is completely insane! Her mother is a vile creature of decadent habits that will not stop at anything to fulfill her goals, never caring if anything that burns ends up burning! Her financial power is so great that she even has accidental conquests! You'd have to go to Honnouji to find a worse mother spawning a more twisted daughter!"

Negi adjusted his tiny bifocals, surviewing how Rentarou grabbed each girl under an arm and, displaying sudden superhuman strength and speed in an explosion of adrenaline, ran away with them just as Evangeline divebombed into the spots where they'd been standing moments ago. "She looks fairly defenseless, however…"

"I never said that she was a fighter, just that she was twisted," Ayaka told her dear teacher. Below, Evangeline cackled her mad delight and began giving chase, floating above the ground and spending just enough speed as to stay shortly behind the terrified young man. "The other girl must be her roommate, Inda Karane-san, whom Hanezono-san frequently mentions to be an annoyance, a broad caricature of a Tsundere, and an annoying gorilla who is always overstepping her limits while complaining about everything."

Asuna grunted. "Man, I hate that kind of people!" They began moving along, following the chase from afar and jumping from one rooftop to the next. "Do you really think Eva's brainhaired idea will work?"

"If it doesn't, we're here to stop her before she goes too far," Negi said grimly, never taking his eyes off his Master. "I'm worried she may be enjoying this too much…"

"Nooooo! What gave you that idea?" Asuna said sarcastically, her Ensis Exorcizans well in hand in its giant paper fan form.

"Give it up, children!" Evangeline declared grandiosely, gathering black power in her hands and throwing it at Rentarou's heels, singing them with each blast, and making him squirm and struggle to keep up running. "You stand no chance against my power! I shall feast on your virgin blood tonight…!"

"Oh, great, so now you're sparing her?!" Karane yelled, pointing at Hakari.

"Sh-Shut up!" Hanezono shot back. "Does this look like a dog to you?! I was right, vampires exist and now she's going to take my purity with her big fat futa member!"

Rentarou blinked. "Excuse me?" he said, never stopping.

"I don't have a penis! Who ever heard of a female vampire with a penis?!" Eva blushed briefly, then threw a ball of dark magic that barely missed Hakari's head.

"Well, she may not be a dog, but she sure acts like a bi—EEEEE!" Karane shrieked, ducking her head as the next shot nearly decapitated her.

She'd just led them into a dead end flanked by brick walls. "Ahhh, you idiot!" Karane screamed. "Turn back! Take us back!"

"He cannot. Checkmate," the adult Evangeline smiled, landing on her feet behind them, her high heels clicking on the pavement. "Prove yourself as a hero to your women now, if you can, Lover Boy! Show me the strength of your heart or pay the price!"

"I knew it," Negi said, stopping by the last building in the last block, watching over them like a hawk. "It's a test of character, one of Master's favorite approaches."
"Eva's never half done things, huh," Asuna said. "Let's see if he breaks down or not…"

To his credit, Rentarou let the girls down on their feet gently, and then stepped before them, arms spread wide. "No! Do with me whatever you want, but you aren't touching them, no matter what!"
Eva chuckled and gave a step towards them. "Oh? And how do you plan to stop me…?"

"I abhor violence against the fair sex, but if necessary, I'm willing to defend them no matter what!" he warned.

The tall blonde laughed. "This is rich! How in the world do you intend to—"

Rentarou frowned, whipped something out of his pocket, and zapped Evangeline with it.

"Aijo-kun…!" Hakari gasped, hugging him from behind.

Karane lifted an eyebrow. "Okay. Now you've got my attention…"

Evangeline just blinked, unamused, no-selling the tazer's discharge. "Seriously? Is that the best you can do?" she told him.

Rentarou swallowed. "It's the best the tazer can do, but--!"

Faster than they could react, she grabbed him by the head and tossed him aside. "This isn't enough!" she roared.

"Aijo-kun!" Hakari panicked.

"Rentarou!" Karane cried, bolting past her roommate and rushing to the stunned downed boy's side.

Negi tried to lunge down. "She's losing control! I'm going to—"

Asuna grabbed him by an arm and held him back firmly. "No. Not yet!"

"But--!"

"Have faith on your teacher, Sensei," Ayaka said stoically. "This isn't any different to how she treats you."

Evangeline spun around to move towards Rentarou and Karane. "This is a hero's reward, a lesson you'd better take to the next life. You'll better give yourselves up, for—Ahhhh, what the hell?!" she screamed, as Hakari had just jumped on her to bite the back of her neck furiously.

"Yuuuhh wuun't huffft 'em, nononono!" Hakari screamed around her bite, trying in vain to chomp through the all too hard as steel skin. Her arms wrapped themselves under Eva's breasts and squeezed tight. "U'll buute yuuh heaff off iff nffeeded!"

"I'm the vampire here, not you, damn it!" Eva protested, flailing around while Rentarou and Karane blinked and stood back. She had dropped her magical defense shields for this farce as she never thought them necessary, but this definitely wasn't in her plans for the night. "Leggo! Or I'll smash your head against the--!"

"You won't do it!" Rentarou said, as he and Karane threw themselves against Eva's midsection, tackling her against the ground and bringing Hakari down with them. Hakari yelped even as Evangeline cursed her loss of balance. This was why she normally attacked barefoot! High heels were such a bitch! "I don't care if I die, I… YEEE!" he winced in pain, as the punch he'd just thrown on Evangeline's face had merely crushed his knuckles. "Are you made of stone?!"

Eva chuckled, shaking Hakari off and aside. "I'm the rock the sea crashes against, or however the quote went! I'm invincible! Unbeatable! I am the inevitable, I—"

"I AM IRON MAN, BITCH!" Karane said, swinging a leg up and closing Eva's mouth by the simple but efficient method of slamming it shut.

That was when the Vampire Witch went angry.

 

[OverMaster]

Tendrils of darkness exploded out of Mc Dowell's body, shooting themselves in all directions.

"Confound you, rebellious hellspawn!" the Mistress of Puppets bellowed, her eyes turning twin little pools of black in which crimson pupils swam. "I shall rip you apart piece by piece!"

Negi sighed, chanted his activation words under his breath, and jumped down, slipping out of Ayaka's grip. "She's lost it. I can't stand back anymore…"

After a moment, Ayaka groaned and leapt after him.

"No good deed goes unpunished…" Asuna mused aloud, and then swooped in as well.

One of the black tentacles wrapped itself around Hakari and yanked her far from Rentarou, the girl yelping as her breasts bounced in opposite directions. "Hanezono-san!" Rentarou jumped after her, grabbing Karane by a hand and pulling her along.

Karane let out a strangled scream of her own, and then kicked at one of the tendrils trying to pull down on her other leg. At the middle of it all, the buxom blonde stood seething, even as Negi, Asuna and Ayaka dropped on their feet right before her.

"Master, come back to your senses!" the boy teacher pleaded, raising his bandaged staff. "You will trigger the alarms…!"

Evangeline roared and swatted him aside like a fly.

"Negi-sensei!" Ayaka cried out.

"Ah, the kid teacher?" Karane gave a quick glance back, even as she and Rentarou struggled to pull on the thing squeezing Hanezono to free her. "What's he doing here…?"

"Hold on, Hanezono-san!" Rentarou begged desperately, exerting himself to his max. "Can you breathe?! Please try to squirm out!"

Negi was already pulling himself back to his feet, but Eva had caught Ayaka and Asuna by their throats and tossed them on him, pinning him under their combined weight. She stomped towards the other three with ease, and then grabbed Rentarou by the neck and lifted him like a puppy. "You should have given up on them…!" she hissed inhumanly.

"No! Please no!" Hakari scrambled across the ground, even as the tendril relaxed its grip and she could more or less free herself with Karane's help.

"Hey, leggo of him!" Karane shouted. "What's your big problem?! Take me if you want! Come on, I can put an actual fight!"

Those eyes full of long simmering hatred settled on her, and Karane trembled, but still held her ground stubbornly. "How little you know…!" Evangeline told her.

Rentarou coughed, trying to yank her fingers off with his. "I swear, if, if you do anything to them…!"

"Why do you care?" the vampire snorted. "Why should you mind if they die? You just met them! Fool! Do you really think that a moment's infatuation could ever translate to a life's love?! True love doesn't exist! Much less a variety born from a whim that--!"

A blast of electricity hit her in the back of her head, and she growled, looking back at a newly arrived Chisame, who stood with her magical scepter raised and pointed at her. Behind Chisame, Chachamaru held a large assault pulse rifle, and Matoi had several small throwing knives in each hand.

"That's enough, Eva," Chisame said sternly while Negi, Ayaka and Asuna fell in line with her. "Saber-san, Emiya-senpai and Setsuna are on their way here. And the Headmaster is only one call away…"

"Call everyone, as many as you want," Evangeline challenged her. "I won't let go of this worm until he has given his answer! Why would he—"

"I love them!" Rentarou said.

"Eh?" Karane said.

"Them?" Hakari echoed him.

"I don't mind if it's stupid, the heart wants what it wants!" Rentarou said. "And often, in life, you must go on what it tells you, and bet your future on it! That's a decision I'm willing to take! I may have just met them, and they might be a handful, but even now, somehow, I know they're worth it, everything I can give! I'm sorry for you, if you haven't ever felt that way!"

"How dare you…" Eva began.

"Because it's the most pleasant sensation I've ever felt!" Rentarou barked. "From the bottom of my being, I can tell they're the ones for me! As sure as my heart beats in my chest, as sure as day follows night, I know I can make them happy, just like they make me happy, even now! Right now, I'm feeling more alive than ever before! I couldn't die happier, than knowing I give my life for their sake!"

Hakari blushed and tightened her legs, feeling herself damp down there. "Aijo-kun… No! Rentarou-kun!"

"R-Rentarou…" Karane stuttered, blushing even more.

Evangeline took a long, terrible pause, staring grimly at his face and then spitting on it. She let him go, so he fell on his butt coughing, and then looked at the two female Senpais. "What about you? Do you love him back, then?"

"I do!" Hakari said without hesitation. "I do, I do, I couldn't ever imagine I'd ever like a boy this much! He's perfect! He's so dreamy! He's so, so, so--!"

Ayaka leaned confidently towards a somewhat uneasy looking Negi and whispered tenderly in his ear, "He's nothing compared to you."

Negi blushed and rasped. "That, that's okay, it's not like this troubles me…" he said, but now he felt better regardless.

"As for me… I…" Karane spoke, somewhat stilted, and then sighing, "I don't hate him!"

Eva frowned. "That's not enough."

"I don't hate him much! I don't hate him a whole lot! I don't hate him at all! I'd never not hated any boy as much ever before, as I don't hate him right now!" she stumbled on her own tongue, face beet red, before saying in an explosion of courage, "As a matter of fact, I think I even like him!"

Chisame grimaced. "Oh my God, how disgusting…!"

There was a long, long silence, while Rentarou only looked at Karane and Hakari in fascinated silence.

Then, the moon was covered by a thick bunch of clouds, and Evangeline's body shrank into that of a child wearing a dress too big for her, which slipped off her leaving her only in tiny black panties. Her eyes returned to their usual green hues. "You have passed the test," she said emotionlessly. "Congratulations, you will live to see another day."

Hakari gawked at her, and then collapsed back with a massive nosebleed.

"Oh my God," Asuna told Ayaka. "She's another you!"

"HEY!"

 

[OverMaster]

This was the first time Rentarou had ever set foot on a female dormitory.

Negi-sensei and Evangeline-san had gone to the Dorm Mother to argue with her beforehand. Shortly into their discussion, Evangeline had taken the other woman away and, after a quick heated exchange Rentarou couldn't quite understand from the other side of the staffer's office, Eva had emerged smiling and dusting her hands off while the bespectacled woman huffed furiously.

"It is done," the tiny terror announced, satisfied. "Let's get you inside."

They'd taken him, Karane and Hakari to Negi-sensei's living quarters, where Hakase, Yuuna and Skuld already were waiting for them, Chamo perched on Skuld's shoulder.

"Okay, what's all of this about?" Karane asked. "Who the hell are you people?"

"What's your relationship with Rentarou-kun?" Hakari said. "Don't tell me... you arranged all of this with them, did you?" she asked Rentarou, quite nervously.

He sighed. "Not exactly. I had no idea they'd do this, and I just met them yesterday myself..."

Skuld cleared her throat, put a fist on her own chest, and declared with airs of great dignity, "I am Skuld, Goddess of the Future..."

"And she's the goddess of what?" Karane pointed at Evangeline.

A vein bulged on Skuld's head. "She isn't a goddess! She's just a vampire witch!"

"No matter how you put it, that's not something one would ever call a 'just'!" Hakari argumented.

"Well, she is a goddess," Rentarou said. "Odds are her power greatly surpasses even Evangeline-san's..."

Eva scoffed, walking over to the fridge and pouring herself a Coca-Cola. "Hah! As if!"

Hakari blinked. "A goddess is less powerful than a vampire?"

"What guarantee do we even have you're a goddess?" Karane put her fists on her own hips and leaned ahead, glaring at Skuld's face. "Okay, I can't argue against the witch anymore, but why don't you show us your powers before we do anything else?"

Skuld scowled and her bulging vein twitched. She opened her mouth wide and shouted right on Karane's face. "YOU IDIOT...!"

Moments later, Karane sat looking into a hand mirror Chisame had given her, and tried vigorously to wipe the word 'IDIOT' in large letters all across her own face. "Okay, okay, I admit it, you're the Goddess of Writing Insults on People's Faces! Geez!"

Skuld was talking with airs of great dignity belitting her small stature again. "My miscreant sister Urd is responsible for your situation," she told the trio. "Being careless at her job, she accidentally tied all of you together with the mythical Red Thread of Love and Fate. Normally, any given person is meant to have only one soulmate, but in your case... well..."

"Oh dear," Hakari gulped, once again pinching herself to verify she was indeed awake, and also because she liked being pinched. "Ah, but surely that can be undone so Karane-san can go on to live her own life as happily as someone with her temper ever could?"

"Why aren't you the one to walk away from us?!" Karane protested.

Ayaka looked at Chisame with mild concern. "Is that how we look and sound most of the time?"

"God, I hope not..."

"I'm not sure, that's not my specialty," Skuld confessed. "Look, we're already doing enough by telling you all of this, okay? We aren't even obligated to help you at all!"

"Your help almost got us killed tonight!" Karane said. "What was this meant to do, show us that Rentarou is a good, brave man?"

"I don't think this attack was necessary for me to notice that," Hakari said, "although I'll admit Karane-san would have needed a wake up call as strong as this one..."

"Furthermore, why isn't that sister of yours telling us all of that herself?!" Karane demanded of Skuld.

The Norn shrugged. "I have to assume she doesn't want to see me face to face anymore, and the feeling is mutual. We have had a fallout since our other sister... disappeared."

"Oh..." Hakari said quietly. "Yes, I can sympathize. It happens all the time. A noble, responsible member of a family goes away, and a selfish, irresponsible relative ruins all of the family dynamics..."

"Pretty much," Skuld nodded. "Anyway, being tied together as you are, you are left with a choice; you can try to manage together until we find a solution, or you can break apart in your own separate directions and risk the karmic backlash resulting from such a move."

"I'm not going to forfeit my promising future with Rentarou-kun now that it has presented itself!" Hakari said, glomping Rentarou's arm.

Rentarou gulped, noticing that so far, Skuld had said nothing about the death clause. Subtly, the young goddess gave him a placating look, and he understood that Ala Alba wouldn't push the issue just yet unless absolutely necessary.

"What do you want in return for your 'help' with this?" Karane asked instead of answering Skuld's dilemma. She squinted her eyes suspiciously.

"Money won't be any issue!" Hakari reassured them. "I can make any donations you want me to pay your pagan church, no matter where in the world it's located!"

"I'm a goddess, I don't have any need for money!" Skuld acted offended.

"I could use some new shoes and a mountain bike, I've been thinking of taking on extreme biking," her roommate said.

"Be quiet, Yuuna!" Skuld scolded her.

"One doesn't need an economic reward to do something for others," Negi started to lecture. "Good actions are their own reward, as the wise saying goes."

The two visiting girls stared at him.

"Okay, forget the vampire and the goddess, you are the most unbelievable person in this room," Karane said after a moment of this.

Chisame gave a single, dry, humorless laugh. "Tell me about it...!"

"Think of this as a test period, to see which one of you can stay permanently as Senpai's girlfriend," Ayaka suggested, which Rentarou felt adverse to as a first impulse, since he liked them both the same, and this would probably just urge them to compete against each other, which could get ugly. But then he realized that it'd be selfish from him to just two-time them in the long run. Perhaps Ala Alba were correct and they should just treat this as a chance to know each other better, until a way out could be found and they could settle for a normal relationship, leaving the other girl(s) free to pursue their own happiness in their own terms.

It wasn't like they had to engage and marry right now, was it?

So he tried to smile. "Y-Yeah, that makes sense... We won't achieve anything by losing our heads over it, right? Let's take this step by step, enjoy the days as they come, and I'm sure that eventually, things will sort themselves out on their own..."

I really hope so, at least! he thought.

Hakari and Rakane were too busy staring daggers at each other, sitting at opposite sides of him, to fully notice what he was saying, however.

Chamo sighed. "I don't like meddling into other people's affairs, kid, but you've got a real uphill battle in your hands here..."

Both girls stopped glare-fighting and gasped at the small animal. "Your rat speaks, too?!" Karane yelled.

"I'm not a rat...!"

"Debatable," Chisame said.

 

[OverMaster]

Several days later, after classes, Rentarou sat on a bench by the park, between Hakari, who was happily eating a melon bread, and Karane, who was just pouting.

That SOS Brigade President weirdo and her handsome sycophant walked by before them.

"So, are you telling me that the Festival never ends up coming along just because Kyon is too afraid of what could happen in it? That coward…!" Suzumiya Haruhi scoffed, never paying any attention to the trio.

"He's unconsciously afraid of how his life might be changed, but we really shouldn't be discussing this in the open…" Itsuki said, and the trio didn't pay them any attention either until the duo was gone.

"Hey, Rentarou," Karane said, blushing since the boy's arm was resting on her shoulders.

"Yes, Karane-chan?" he asked.

"You know what happens when boys and girls start dating, right…?"

Hakari choked on her latest mouthful. "K-Karane-san!" she stuttered. "Not just yet! I, I, I'm not ready to be a mother…!"

Karane tossed her schoolbag on Hakari's head. "Idiot! Pervert! I mean, I mean, I mean a kiss, nothing more nothing less!" She began twiddling her fingers together while looking away from them. "N-Not that I'm in a hurry to be kissed by you or anything, Rentarou, it's just I took pity on you and I wouldn't want you to feel inadequate as a man!"

Rentarou blinked. "Oh, wow, Karane-chan, are you already willing to take that step? I have no problems, naturally, but I thought—"

"I'm not an immature Tsundere in denial over any feelings or anything!" Karane shouted.

"Right," Hakari said, primly wiping the small chunks of melon bread she'd just splattered all over her own face. "I have to say, Rentarou-kun, I wouldn't mind a chaste, pure, little innocent first kiss, stuck down all the way to the bottom of my throat through passionate, torrid, long drawn Frenching…"

"That's the complete opposite of what a virginal first kiss should be!" Karane protested.

"Okay, but here's a problem…" Rentarou doubted, scratching his chin.

"It's okay if you're an inexperienced kisser, that only speaks of how you saved yourself for our predestined encounter!" Hakari said. "I haven't ever kissed a man before, so we are even, and we can learn together through lots and lots of practice!"

"No, that's not it," he said. "It's just that, if you're both interested…"

"I told you I'm not interested on the kiss itself, I just want to save you from those feelings of male inadequacy, m-moron," Karane mumbled, head low.

"… which one should I kiss first?" Rentarou mused, troubled.

Both girls stiffened on the bench.

"W-Well!" Karane said after a moment. "Like I said, I'm not that interested, which doesn't mean I'm not interested on you, and I'd like to think I'm a fair person…!"

"Oh, so I can kiss him first? Thank you, Karane-san!" Hanezono jumped onto the chance.

"… but I was the one to come up with the idea, and that's part of the fairness too!" Karane continued, shoving Hakari back from him through the gentle method of shoving her hand on Hanezono's face and pushing hard. "Besides, my purposes are selfless so I've earned a little bit of selfishness!"

"It's not selflessness if you do it to score selflessness points to start with!" Hakari protested.

Rentarou thought about it. "Okay, how about this?" he asked, pulling a coin out of his breast pocket. "I learned this from an American friend, they call it the Harvey Dent method. You flip the coin, picking tails or heads beforehand, and if it lands tails, you shoot a man through the head, if it lands heads, you spare his life…"

Both girls stared at him in horror.

Rentarou shook his head. "No! Sorry, it wasn't like that! It's been a while since I was described it…!"

"W-We know how a simple heads or tails decision is reached, you baka!" Karane said, seizing the coin and turning it over in her hand. "Huh, so it isn't tricked…"

"Why would I use a two-faced coin?" Rentarou asked. "That'd beat the whole purpose of leaving it to random!"

Karane sighed, handing him the coin back. "Never mind. It's just that one never knows. I choose heads."

"I wanted to be heads, but okay, I'm not going to nitpick," Hakari said. "Please flip it, Rentarou-kun! I can't wait any longer…!"

"You've just waited a week just fine!" Karane told her.

Rentarou breathed deeply, summoned the Goddess of Love in his thoughts, and tossed the coin. "Alea jacta est!" he said.

The coin flew through the air, giving several turns and twists as they all stared at it with great tension…

And then it landed…

Stuck on a crack of the sidewalk, standing perfectly straight and vertical.

"…" Rentarou, Hakari and Karane said.

Then they shared a nervous laugh.

"Ah, well, no big thing!" Karane said. "Even I wouldn't get upset about this!"

"Right, right!" Hanezono said. "You just need to pick it again and do a second flip, right, Rentarou-kun!"

"Of course!" he said, standing up. "I'll do that right n—"

Then a magpie, attracted by the sun shining on the coin, swooped down, quickly took the coin in its beak, and flew back upwards just as quickly, becoming a twinkle in the sky.

"…"Rentarou, Hakari and Karane said.

"Do you have any more coins?" Karane asked.

Rentarou patted himself all over. "I think I spent all of my money buying you guys lunch! I'd have to head back home…"

"I never carry cash on me as everything is paid through Visa, Master Card, and Lex Card," Hanezono confessed. "You…?"

Karane smiled. "You're in luck! I just remembered I always keep one on me for emergencies such as this! O-Okay, I pick heads again…!" she said, preparing to toss.

"One moment, please," Hakari grabbed the coin, then turned it around, revealing it to be two-faced.

Karane gave a short apologetic laugh. "To my credit, I didn't try that from the start! I gave you a fair fighting chance at first, so I've earned a--!"

Hakari threw Karane's schoolbag back on her face.

 

[OverMaster]

"You need help again!?" Evangeline asked incredulously, sitting crosslegged on the porch of her cabin. Her arms were folded, and Chachamaru stood dutifully behind her, in her maid outfit. "You guys just have to develop your own agency, or else the angry schizo reviews will start raining!"

"Please don't insult our beloved readership, they're all good fans and have given us their support," Rentarou said very seriously. And then, "We just can't decide whom should I kiss first. I met them at the same exact time, so…"

"Kiss them following the alphabetic order," Eva suggested.

"Yes! Yes! That's just fair and just!" Hanezono Hakari nodded.

"No! No! What do mere letters have to do with any of this?!" Inda Karane protested vehemently.

"What a bother!" Evangeline shook her head. "Then, age before beauty, as they say. The older one of you will kiss the boy first."

"We were born the same day," Hanezono shared.

"Huh?" Eva said.

"That's wonderful! Are you serious?!" Rentarou beamed with joy. "That's a sign from above that you're meant to be together! Just like Asterix and Obelix!"

"Okay," Eva said after another moment, "but surely, one you was—"

"We… We were born at the same exact time, too," Karane shared uneasily.

Rentarou brought his hands together, exuding happiness. "That's even better…! Truly, we are soulmates!"

Eva scowled. After thinking for a few moments, she snapped her fingers. "Ah! If you were born far apart from each other, then technically, the time zones…"

"In the same hospital!" the two girls said as one.

Chachamaru raised an eyebrow at this extremely unlikely development.

Rentarou floated around, having an apotheosis of delight. "There's no doubt anymore, anywhere in my heart…!"

Evangeline facepalmed. "I'm sure this contradicts your canon and eventually we'll receive strongly worded comments about this too, but whatever makes your joke work, right? Then we'll have to do it the hard way…"

Rentarou stopped floating and suddenly appeared sitting between his girls, without dropping by like a dead weight, just sitting there from a moment to the next. "What do you mean, Mc Dowell-san?"

"GAH!" Karane shrieked. "How did you do that…?!"

"It's the power of Love…!" Hakari gushed.

"We're going to build a death match race set for you to compete," Evangeline lectured. "We will tie the boy at the end of the course, and the first one of you to reach him will claim his lips for herself."

"Eh? W-Wait a moment, Evangeline-san!" Hakari said. "That doesn't seem too fair!"

Karane smirked. "Oh? Unsure now because I've always outdone you at PE?"

"Yes! I mean, no!" Hakari denied it. "It's just that, well, think of Rentarou-kun! I doubt he'll want to be in bondage… sweating under the sun… his shirt clinging to his chest… and… uhhhh… exhibited like an objectified victim waiting for his princess… to reach him… and plant… a long, loving first… kiss… on his lips…"

She began panting fervently, with pink hearts in her pupils, and Rentarou blinked. Chachamaru gave a step back in silence, and Evangeline hummed to herself.

Karane frowned. "Um, does that mean that you'll do it or—"

"I'LL TAKE IT!" Hakari cried. "I'm sure that the Power bestowed upon me by Love will make me triumph no matter whaaaaaat!"

"But, Senpai, are you okay with this?" Chachamaru asked Rentarou.

He smiled. "Yes! If they're both pumped up for it, who am I to oppose? It should be a good chance for them to bond closer by having some good clean fun!"

Chachamaru and her Master looked at the girls, who were staring into each other's eyes over Rentarou's shoulders, a stream of crackling electricity connecting their pupils.

"All right," Evangeline said at last. "Chachamaru, call Hakase immediately, tell her Hanezono's got a designing job for her, and that she'll pay her richly…"

 

[OverMaster]

Eleven years ago:

Two little girls sat before a television, moving their heads slowly to the tune of a jazzy song.

"Daring duck of mystery, champion of right," they sang along together. "Swoops out of the shadows, Darkwing owns the night… Somewhere some villain schemes, but his number's up…"

Then they felt the large shadow of their father loom over them from behind.

"Aoi," Toshaka Tokiomi's voice called out, "what is this nonsense our daughters are partaking in?"

His wife, ever ethereal as a fairy in human figure, walked closer from where she had been knitting. "Oh… Oh, that. I, I was sent some tapes from Mundus Magicus, and I thought there'd be no harm on—"

"Who sent them?" the tall man asked, frowning while walking over to the TV and turning it off.

Aoi lowered her head. "Kariya had them brought over…" she confessed. "It seems this show is very popular over there…"

He struggled a moment with the infernal thing he couldn't understand before managing to pull the film out. "You cannot waste your time rotting your minds with this drivel!" he scolded the children. "If you have got the time for this, you might as well occupy it with your studies!"

Rin lowered her head while Sakura edged behind her, looking for her protection. "Yes, Father…"

Tokiomi paused for a moment before setting a hand on Rin's head. "This is for your own good," he reassured her, in a softer tone than before. "Everything I do is only done for your sake."

"We know, Father…" Rin replied, still just as humble.

A few months after, Sakura was gone. So that was the last time they could watch the show together.

And then…

Tohsaka Rin sat up on the bed, waking up with a start. "Ah!"

Next to her, Sakura stirred, opening her purple eyes slowly. "Neesama?" she gave a tiny yawn. "What is it…?"

"I just remembered, Sakura," Rin said. "I finally understand how I could have summoned Vigilante…"

This, of course, mattered little in the grand scheme of things.

Still, it was nice to know, at last.

---

Fate and all related elements and characters are the creation and intellectual property of Nasu Kinoko and Type-Moon.

All other characters and franchises mentioned within this story are the intellectual property of their respective trademark and copyright holders.

---

Fate: Unequally Blade Works.

---

Chapter Five: Magical Ruby.

 

[OverMaster]

"I… I really don't see the point of having to wear this!" Karane said, blushing as she emerged from a dresser wearing the tight ensemble of hot short pants and a belly-showing top, dark blue and sporting a white wing emblem on the chest. "Come on, this isn't a professional competition!"

"What are you complaining about? You look great in it!" gushed the long haired awful girl named Saotome Haruna who had forced her into wearing this. She crouched down before Karane and patted her hips several times, almost drooling. "All firm muscle in all the right places, but without overdoing it! Woo-hoo!"

Karane kneed her in the jaw, forcing her to stagger back with bulging eyes. "Hands off, skank…!"

Hakari, wearing an identical uniform and stretching up like a mischievous cat, chuckled. "Ufufu! Karane-san, why are you so antsy even when you're complimented? You should be honored your kind of figure is appreciated!"

Karane grimaced, looking at Hakari's large breasts nicely restrained by the top, her nipples vaguely outlined against the spandex. "This, this isn't the kind of appreciation I came here for…"

Evangeline approached them, wearing black shorts and the shirt with black and white stripes of a referee. "Your yearned appreciation waits at the end of the course with Boya, Despair and Morisato, Inda," she told Karane. "Just remember, the two of you will have to stick to the pathway without ever deviating from it! No shortcuts, and no sabotaging your rival either! Other than that, anything goes!"

"I feel so stupid," Karane said, being led by Chachamaru to the start of the course. This was a plain looking spot of grassy hillside, overlooking the valleys of Mahora Academy. There was a long stretch of road ahead, but there were no obstacles yet, at least not until the path entered the nearby woods, past which anything was anyone's guess. "And where are the rest of your buddies? Finally had better things to do than meddling into the lives of others?"

"My not friends will be handling the obstacles, making sure to test you while also babysitting you so you won't be hurt," Evangeline explained while Chachamaru pointed at two starting points marked '1' and '2' respectively. Just to piss Hakari off, Karane took Spot Number One. "That means they might attack you here and there, but against my advice, they won't be going all out…"

"You still want to kill us for some reason, don't you?!" Karane snapped.

"Don't take it personally, Eva-chin is that way with everyone!" Haruna laughed, taking a position by the duo and raising a trick gun. "On your marks!"

Both older girls sighed and assumed a position to start a sprint.

"Nice…" Haruna stared fixedly at the girls' lifted asses for a moment, then shouted, "Set!"

Hakari and Karane squinted, shared a piercing glare into each other's eyes, and held their breath for the big moment.

"GO!" Haruna yelled, shooting the gun into the air, and then both Senpais began running ahead.

Like expected, Karane, being more naturally athletic, took an early lead. Hakari was not exactly a slouch either, much less when spurred by her necessity to take Rentarou's lips, and soon was closing the distance dangerously. Haruna, Evangeline and Chachamaru watched them cover the whole distance towards the thick forest rather quickly, and then they vanished from sight into nature's unknown.

"And then they never were seen again…" Evangeline said with a shake of her head.

Haruna giggled and gave her a mock punch in the arm. "Oh, don't be like that! You know, I think I'm starting to like those two! They're really spirited, the girls could learn a few things from them, especially for Hanezono-senpai…"

"Excuse me for saying this, Saotome-san, but I highly doubt she will ever even entertain the thought of having an illicit tryst with you. She is too devoted for that…" Chachamaru said.

Haruna pouted. "Oh, don't be a wet blanket, Chacha-chan! If not her, someone in that group of 108 is bound to click closely with me…!"

Somewhere else, while longing under the sun in a beach chair and wearing a tiny white bikini, Hanezono Hahari sneezed.

 

[OverMaster]

"Are you sure you're feeling well, Aijo-san?" Negi asked, sitting at the end of the course with Morisato, guarding Rentarou, who was tied to a pole. "We always could loose your binds..."

"No, thank you, but I'm fine, really," Rentarou said with a patient smile. "If I'm going to play this role, I should do it correctly!"

Then he looked at the man in a traditional white and gray hakama, hanging by his neck from a branch of a close tree. "Aren't you ever worried about him ever dying for real?"

Negi sighed. "We're working on that..."

Keiichi heard something in the distance, and stood up to look into the woods with a set of binoculars. "Ah, they already began! They're entering the forest right now. Really, Evangeline-san should have told us..."

"Seriously? Let me see! Let me see!" Rentarou asked eagerly.

Keiichi gave him a sympathetic look. "I'm not sure you could see anything from that angle. Why don't we just untie you already?"

Rentarou thought about it. "But I gave my word...!"

Negi sighed again, and brought a card to his forehead. Rentarou looked on, interested. "Chisame?" the boy teacher asked. "Where are they now? Uh huh. I see..."

He glanced back at Rentarou. "They're clearing the first set of obstacles right now."

"Oh, the trap pits, right? What if they fail and fall into one, they could hurt themselves..."

"Aijo-san, you checked the pillows at the bottom five times, and there's a magical healer at hand!" Keiichi said. "Calm down already or call the contest out!"

"I don't want to be a widower even before our relationship begins for real!" the younger man defended himself. "Anyone would feel the same way!"

"Point granted," Negi allowed. He touched his forehead with the card again. "Chisame, Aijo-san wants to know if- Oh, they are sorting the logs already? That's good to know..."

Rentarou bit on his lower lip. "Oh! The logs!"

"They are cardboard logs after you banned the real ones!" Itoshiki reminded him.

Rentarou blinked and looked up at him. "How can you talk with a rope squeezing your throat?"

"Ventriloquism is one of Itoshiki-sensei's many talents," Negi replied for him.

"You are too kind," Itoshiki said. "Far more than a infrahuman like me deserves..."

Negi kept speaking through the Pactio card. "Yes. Yes, he's taking it well so far. Yes, I think we should cancel this, too. But you know Master... Oh? It's Asuna's turn now? Well, hopefully she'll go easy on them and-"

There were two loud shrieks coming from the woods, and Rentarou's eyes flashed. "My girlfriends!" he gasped.

A moment later, a blur ran past Keiichi and Negi.

The two youngsters looked at the pole, now without any boy tied to him, and surrounded by snapped rope scattered across the ground.

"Huh," Negi said. "Good thing it was Master herself who tied him, or else we wouldn't ever hear the end of this..."

"That guy is really scary," Keiichi said. "But I've got to admit it, he's got... I don't have the slightest idea what he's got, but it sure is something else, all right!"

 

[OverMaster]

"Well, that was anticlimactic," Asuna said, sitting around Evangeline's large table with Rentarou and his girls, Eva, Setsuna, Haruna, Chisame, Keiichi, Skuld and Yuuna. Itoshiki-sensei was currently hanging from a rafter of the ceiling. Konoka stood by Rentarou, healing a very thick two-story bump on his head, and Chachamaru was patching the scratches and bruises on Hakari and Karane's faces.

"You tell me about it," Skuld said. "The whole action scene happened off panel, what was up with that?"

"It saved the author some hassle, I suppose," Setsuna mused, still upset at me because I never write any good swordplay scenes for her.

"Well, that perfectly nice death course isn't going to go to waste," Evangeline decided. "I'm going to use it as your next training grounds, after I personalize some of the traps and make them more lethal, I mean challenging."

"You people are freaking nuts!" Karane said. "Now look at us, we're back at square one!"

"There's no point to all of this hassle, let's just decide it with a coin flip," Keiichi said, pulling a coin out of a pocket.

"It's not going to work," Rentarou warned him.

"How could a simple coin toss fail?" Morisato said. "Pick, girls, heads or tails?"

Karane groaned. "Heads…"

"Tails," Hakari sighed.

"Then, as an impartial third party, I flip…" the young mechanic said, and the coin flew through the air, spinning several times…

… only to end up falling through a small hole in the floor and plummeting into the basement below.

They all looked down. "…"

"I will go retrieve it," Chachamaru said, heading downstairs.

A moment later, she returned with a subtly somewhat troubled look on her face. "A mouse took it in its mouth and ran away with it before I could see the result. That is… strange, since we never had mice here…"

"You would be amazed at the amount of ways a coin toss can go wrong," Hakari said. "I never had an idea…"

Chachamaru was staring at the hole in the floor. "I'm sure that wasn't there yesterday either…"

"I have an idea," Haruna said.

"No!" everyone else, but Rentarou, said.

"At least hear me out first!"

"What is it, Haruna-san?" Rentarou asked, right before Haruna put a cloth around his eyes and tightened it. "Hey, what's up with this?!"

"Eva-chin, please take us to the darkest room you have," Haruna asked the owner. "That should settle this!"

"Next time you call me that, you will die," Mc Dowell warned, nonetheless standing up and leading them into the same basement Chachamaru had just returned from. Haruna grabbed the female Senpais by an arm and pulled them along to follow, despite their protests. Sighing to himself, Keiichi took Rentarou by a hand and guided him down, too. "I am 'Lady Evangeline' to you."

She took the group to a small closed room in the basement and opened it with a literal skeleton key, as it was made of bone and looked it. "This is my terrible dungeon of tortures, from which nobody has ever escaped…" she intoned ominously.

"There are brooms everywhere! This is a vulgar broom closet!" Asuna pointed out, squinting through its darkness.

"Shut up!" the little blonde growled. "Why would a broom closet be as big as this?! Keep up with the insolence and you'll be locked up here forever, too!"

"Wh-What's with that 'too'?!" Karane shrilled while Haruna blindfolded her as well. Hakari looked on, interested. "Ah, no! No no no no no! I'm not going to walk blindfolded into someone's secret basement s-sex dungeon away from civilization! That's some real Darwin Award crap right here!"

"Oh, shut up!" Eva said while Chachamaru blindfolded Hakari more gently. "What has, so far, given you the impression I'm the type unworthy of trust?"

"There are so many ways to start with that, I don't even know how to!" Karane yelled.

"Master, I know this is your house, but I'm still your teacher and I still have a legal obligation to keep all students safe," Negi told the vampire. "If they don't want to do this, I'm not going to stand for it."

"W-Well, if it's the only way to decide Rentarou-kun's first kiss…" Hanezono gulped, "Then I'm going along with it! I always could find my way through darkness…"

"I'm not gonna lose to you!" Karane said. "What, are you trying to play chicken with me?! I'm twice as brave as you or—YIIIIIIIIII!" she said as Haruna grabbed her and made her spin in place several times, displaying a lot of strength for a nerd.

Rentarou exhaled, starting to turn around in place himself. "Please hold on, girls, and forgive me for all of this. I'll do my best to make sure your kisses are worth your efforts…"

"If, if I get kissed second, then please make it twice as good!" Hakari said, being made spin by Chachamaru, and after all three of them were sufficiently dizzy and disoriented, Chachamaru simply shoved them inside at once, without a single word, and quickly locked the door after them.

"Even if they take the blindfolds off, they won't be able to see a thing," Eva smiled, folding her arms. "And even if they call out, it'll be difficult finding their way in the dark."

Konoka pinched her nose. "And it should be difficult to find each other through smell. Forgive me for saying this, Eva-san, but that room stinks so much!"

"I'm under orders to keep it stenchful as befits a torture dungeon. Sorry for offending your sensibilities, Konoka-san," Chachamaru bowed.

"I feel tempted to suggest that we head back up, bar the basement down, and forget about all of this, going on with our lives," Chisame deadpanned.

There were some sound gasps coming from the inside, and then the loud, wet noise of lips crashing together in a saliva generous smack.

"Oh dear!" Negi blushed. "So soon…?!"

"Well, it is a small broom closet," Skuld said.

"Torture dungeon…!" Evangeline growled.

The sounds of frantic, passionate kissing only grew up, over several moments, and Haruna's ahoge twitched excitedly. "Oh, woo hoo! That's some good stuff…!"

"I have a bad feeling about this," Setsuna confessed.

"Me too," Chisame said. "Any moment now, there'll be a—"

There was a loud sound of crashing, a man's yelp, and Negi, already nervously on the edge, darted ahead and pulled the door open.

Some light was thrown inside, and everyone blinked at the sight of Rentarou on the floor, rubbing his head after crashing against a wall. A couple of steps away, Karane and Hakari were hugging tightly and French kissing each other, cheeks flushed, until Karane finally seemed to notice the soft mass of large breasts mashing against her semi-flat chest.

Karane pulled back quickly, yanked her blindhold off, and then stared in horror before giving a shriek that rattled the whole cabin.

Matoi grabbed Chisame and ran for cover upstairs before anyone could even ask "Ah! You were there?!"

 

[OverMaster]

"What a disaster," Rentarou sulked, standing at the edge of the rooftop of the male wing's main building, and supporting himself on the rail. A whole day had passed, but the issue was still brewing heavily in his mind. "They must be angry at me, so there's only one way out…"

"N-NO!" a voice cried out desperately. "Rentarou-kun, don't jump!"

He blinked, turning around just in time to be tackled down by Karane, while Hakari, who had been the one just to scream, stood by the stairs with a frantic look on her face. "UUUUUFFFF!" he said as his head hit concrete and his eyes bulged out.

"Y-You idiot, why were you gonna throw your life away?!" Karane bawled against his chest. "You took all the wrong lessons from Despair-sensei?! If you want to kill yourself, why wouldn't you call me first, moron…?!"

"Kuh-Killing myself?" Rentarou said, spots flashing before his eyes while he sat up, rubbing his head with a hand. Karane wouldn't stop clinging to him, rivers streaming from her eyes. "Why would I kill myself when I have the two most wonderful girlfriends in the world?"

"Ah?" Hakari said. "What were you going to do then?"

"The only thing I could, of course, which is going to talk things over with you…"

Karane froze, then pulled back blushing and putting her fists on her knees. "D-Do you see, Hanezono, you imbecile? I told you he wouldn't be THAT dumb…!"

"How did you girls make it into this building?" Rentarou asked while helping Karane to her feet.

"We're still putting posters, remember?" Hakari said. "Your roommate said you came here, so… Well… Rentarou-kun, we discussed this all night long, and we reached an angreement… on the matter of what to do o-over our first kiss with you…"

"Angreement?" Rentarou repeated.

"Yeah, it means that first we were angry at each other but then we reached an agreement," Karane nodded. "Y-You can… I mean… W-We are going to… That is… Y-You tell him!" she ended up yelling at her roommate. "You're better at those talking to people thing!"

Hakari sighed, closed her eyes briefly, and then told the boy, "Rentarou-kun, you can kiss both of us at the same time."

"Eh?" he said. "But, that would mean…"

"W-W-We have kissed already, so that ship's sailed already!" Karane blushed even brighter, staring aside. "For our sake, we're willing to do it again, just once!"

"Yes, just this once!" Hanezono said.

"Because we didn't enjoy it or anything!" Karane added.

"Definitely not!" Hakari angreeded.

"But, but, but it wasn't completely ill-feeling and nauseating e-either, so if it means taking this weight f-from you, we can do it again!" Karane summed up.

"As long as we get to kiss you as well while doing it!" Hakari finished.

Rentarou paused. "Are you really, really, really, really, really sure that's what—"

"WE ARE!" the girls yelled at him at once.

Rentarou sweatdropped. "I simply had to ask…!"

Karane balled a fist up and brought it close to his face. "What, what, are you doubting the sincerity of our word? That'd piss me off! I'd beat you up! Or is it that you're having second thoughts and we disgust you now because you saw us kissing as if we were lesbians, which we aren't?! Or… are you thinking… that we are forcing you…" Suddenly she melted into a nearly tearful deredere again. "Oh, oh, oh dear, we ARE forcing you, aren't we? We are the worst, especially me, I'm strongarming my own boyfriend with threats of violence…!"

"What? No!" He grabbed her by the shoulders. "You aren't telling me about anything that I wouldn't want to! I'm so incredibly lucky, I just couldn't believe me good fortune, that's all!"

"So you will do it?" Hakari asked hopefully.

He smiled and extended a hand towards her. "We will!" he promised.

Hakari gushed with delight and skipped over to them. "Rentarou-kun! You're the best boyfriend in the world…!" she said, grabbing him and Karane and pulling them in for the kiss.

Karane stuttered. "W-W-Wait, idiot, not so fast! Gimme some time to prepare! As a matter of fact, maybe we shouldn't UMMMPPHH!" she finished as her mouth was mashed against those of Hakari and Rentarou at the same time, and her legs wobbled under her.

Suzumiya Haruhi was climbing the stairs up. "This is the ideal place!" she was telling someone who was marching behind her. "Here we can signal the aliens, the atmospheric conditions are ideal, and—and—"

She stopped, pausing to look at the three students Frenching each other in a torrid three way as one of the girls fondled the other two, and then she began to walk back and down, without being noticed at all. They were in their own happy world.

"Forget it, Kyon," she said very dryly. "Someone came first and found a better way to signal for them."

"Then what do I do with the flare pistol?" a masculine voice asked.

"Don't make me tell you where you can stuff it!"

So that was how Aijo Rentarou got his first kiss.

All in all, there are worse ways to start.

---

To be Continued.

---

Next: A Trip to the Library… and you Know Who that Means!

 

[OverMaster]

The 100 Girlfriends Who Really, Really, Really, Really Love You is the creation and intellectual property of Nakamura Rikito, Nozawa Yukiko and Shueisha.

All other characters and franchises mentioned in this story are the intellectual properties of their respective copyright and trademark holders.

---

If you have read previous stories set in this universe, you should know about Library Island by now. It was a large library built on a small island in a huge lake by Mahora Academy, easily accessed through a stone bridge built two centuries ago. It also was one of the best stocked libraries in the Eastern hemisphere, holding relics centuries old, including dozens of volumes containing arcane knowledge and hidden in secret underground chambers.

This morning, Rentarou, Hakari and Karane were visiting said older and approaching the front desk where Saotome Haruna was working as a receptionist.

"Ah, guys, good morning!" the younger girl smiled at them, at which Karane predictably reacted grunting and averting her gaze. "Good to see you've worked everything out!"

Rentarou nodded. "Indeed we have, Saotome-san. How are you? We came for books on-"

"Oh, you haven't met my two best friends yet, have you?" Haruna pulled two smaller girls into the frame. "This is Ayase Yue-chan and this is Miyazaki Nodoka-chan, and they both work here with me, as fellow members of the Library Exploration Club!"

Hakari smiled and nodded. "That is wonderful, and it's nice to meet you, Ayase-san, Miyazaki-san. Do you know where-"

"Eeep!" cried a thin, petite girl with dark hair and large dark eyes, around Rentarou's age and still holding an open book in her hands, as she also was pulled in by Haruna.

"And this is Shiomiya Shiori-senpai!" Haruna kept on talking a storm, making sure to place the trembling, suddenly cowering Shiori between herself and the young man. "She's our fourth member, well, Konoka-chan also helps out every once in a while, but don't you think she's very cute?"

Hakari and Karane frowned as Rentarou looked at Shiori's timid face. Those huge Bambi eyes looked back in fear, and although he found her very cute, there was no strong reaction like that he'd felt with his girlfriends. Haruna noticed his lack of reaction and, somewhat disappointed, shoved Shiori back off panel while the two girlfriends sighed in relief. "What kind of books are you interested on, Aijo-senpai?" Haruna asked, talking more evenly now.

From a nearby table, a classmate of Rentarou, a skinny handsome boy with dark brown hair and glasses, looked up from the PFP galge he'd been playing instead of reading the stack of books set by his side.

"We wanted to read books on the history and psychology of polyamory, for completely academic and not at all personal reasons, wink wink," Hakari said.

"Oooohhh!" Haruna grinned. "Good to see you are interested on resorting to the actual books for that kind of knowledge, but that info is also widely available in the Internet, you know?"

Hakari clenched her teeth. "Yes, but any web search on those topics mostly yields just cheap pornography, and naturally, as wholesome people with no deviant interests, we wouldn't stand to be exposed to such things..." she said patiently.

Karane huffed and rolled her eyes back.

Haruna took a pensive pause. "I see. I see! Well, we have to work the front table all day long, but a new member of our association will ably assist you!" She clapped. "Shizuka-chan! Come here a moment, will you?"

Another girl peeked out from another a gigantic bookshelf, and then quickly moved closer, also holding a thick old tome in her small white hands. She had very long light brown hair, not all that well combed and giving her an extra layer of adorableness, combined with her diminutive size, barely any bigger than Evangeline's in her child form. She looked like a lovely living doll, and then, when she stopped clumsily by the others, Rentarou gasped quietly.

The new girl looked up at him as well, with very round and big innocent eyes a beautiful shade of light hazel. She made a very, very faint sound that almost could have passed for a gasp too.

Tiny angels shaped like caricatures of Haruna, Nodoka, Yue and Shiori appeared around them, flying in circles while holding Cupid bows, and the rest of the world briefly stopped existing. The sensation was quite different from those he'd experienced when first seeing Hakari and Karane, and yet it also was completely the same.

This shock hitting me to the core... he thought, feeling as if the universe was reshaped around him in a wonderful, pleasurable surge of goodness and warmth. Is she my soulmate too...?!

Still sitting at the sidelines of The World Only God Knew, Katsuragi Keima watched on and softly sneered out a side of his mouth.

"Such terrible writing," he spoke to himself. "This is why 3D can't hold a candle to 2D..."

---

The 108 Girlfriends who Really, Like Really, I mean it, Man, Really Love You, Dude.

---

Chapter Three: Never Judge Covers by their Books, Whatever that Means.

 

[OverMaster]

Haruna had to notice this as well, since the next thing she did was to clench a smile and gently shove the paralyzed Shizuka towards Rentarou. "Shizuka-chan, I want you to show Senpai here all the books we have on the subject he's looking for!"

Before the much shorter girl could do anything but nodding shakily, Haruna turned towards Nodoka, grabbed her by a shoulder, and directed her towards Hakari and Karane. "As for you, Nodo-chan, please assist Hanezono-senpai and Inda-senpai as best as you can!"

"But, but Paru, I'm on frontline duty today, too…!" the girl with the thick bangs obscuring her face (no, not that one. We won't be seeing that one just yet. Please be patient) said.
"Our first duty is to help any and all students in need, Yue and I will cover you!" Haruna said.

Yue raised an eyebrow. "What about Shiori-senpai?"

"Why, she'll be helping Senpai here, of course!" Haruna laughed, grabbing the yelping Shiori by a hand and pulling her towards Keima's table, where she blushed very deeply and seemed to shrink a few sizes down. Satisfied, Haruna dusted her hands off. "Well, what's everyone waiting for? Do you want me to handle the boys myself?"

Sharing very quiet, yet distressed gasping hiccups, Shizuka and Shiori immediately took each respective boy by a hand and led them away, taking off into different hallways lined up by impossibly tall shelves full of books of all description.

"Are, are we just going to let her wander all alone with him?" Karane gulped, her eyes fixed on the way Rentarou had taken. "I mean, not that I care or anything, why would I be that insecure, but…!"

Nodoka sighed and began guiding the duo in a third different direction. "It'll be fine, Shizuka-san may seem shy, but she's actually rather able…"

"That… That is what we're fearing, actually," Hakari said, following her reluctantly.

"What books did you say you were interested on, Senpai?" Nodoka seemed to ignore this last remark, stoically leading the way.

"Polygamy," Hakari said bluntly.

"What? No! Cooking!" Karane blurted out. "C-Cooking, that's what she meant! It's just that she's dyslexic! Why would we want to read anything on perverted topics like kissing a boy and each other at the same time while the boy's prime to gather a harem, that's just ridiculous! We want to learn how to cook better, um, not to make said boy happier, but, but- We want to open a restaurant!"

Hakari rolled her eyes. "Love is also about being honest with your feelings, you know!"

"I understand," Nodoka said with noticeable aplomb. "Books on polygamist cooking, then." She stopped by a shelf and began pulling books out. "These might help. How to make your shared man happy through Okonomiyaki by Saotome Ukyo, Advanced Harem Cooking by Urashima Shinobu, Principles of Polyamorous Cuisine for Dummies by Tohno Kohaku if you feel you aren't ready for complicated recipes just yet…"

Hakari blinked. "Are they illustrated?" she dared to ask.

 

[OverMaster]

Meanwhile, Rentarou was chuckling nervously while following Shizuka, who was hugging her book tightly against her flat chest. "Wow, Saotome-san sure has an overwhelming personality, doesn't she…?"

Without looking back, the girl pulled out a small notebook and opened it on a certain page, showing it at Rentarou over her shoulder.

He leaned closer and read aloud. "You must give the aggressive and hostile aspects of yourself constructive ways of expression through assertiveness, determination, self-assuredness, boldness, mental toughness, decisiveness, learning how to articulate one's feelings, speaking directly, forcefulness, and sport. -― Laurence Galian."

He sweatdropped. "Ah, ha ha, yes, that is a very wise thing to say…"

Once they were all alone, she stopped, turned around, and showed him another page of the notebook, this one reading a simple What would you be interesting on reading, Sir?

"Oh, you'll see, I want to read about…" Then he kept on looking to this cutely gorgeous face, so full of vulnerable innocence, and felt like he couldn't ask her about anything like a man marrying several women at once. Not yet, at least. He decided to instead asking for what he truly felt in his heart when looking at her. "Happy fantasy stories! Something fanciful and inspiring, with a strong, spirited message! And happy endings! Stories of romance persevering in the face of all odds…"

The girl's face brightened, and she nodded very quickly. She pointed at another line that only read Wait here just a minute, please and then sped off, turning around a corner.

A few moments later, she returned pushing a cart easily bigger than herself, and in this cart there was a pile of books twice as tall as the cart itself, despite of which she seemed to have no problems pushing it at full speed, grinding to a screeching halt before him.

"Th-That was fast!" Rentarou commented.

Will these suffice? read the next line the small girl pointed at on her notebook.

"Yes, yes, thank you very much!" he nodded. Then, after a moment of doubt, he asked carefully, "Sorry if I'm intruding where I shouldn't, but can't you speak…?"

She looked down, contrite, for a moment. And then she pointed at a paragraph on another page. My apologies. I just happen to be incredibly bad at making conversation.

"I see…"

If you want me to, I will just call someone else.

"What? No! No!" he waved his hands before himself. "Sorry about that, I didn't mean to say I minded! This is just fine, I actually think it's very cute! I mean…"

The girl blushed, looked down, and pointed at another token go-to annotation. Thank you.

He smiled at her. "Would you please help me out to select a few, so I can take them back home?"

Her face brightened again oh so wonderfully, even though the redness of her cheeks, and she nodded again. I would love to!

They sat together at a table, and began pulling books from the pile. "What's your full name, Shizuka-san?"

She held up her ID card. It read Yoshimoto Shizuka and listed her as a first year, having been born the 8th of August.

She's even younger than I expected… a mildly troubled Rentarou said while cracking one of the books open. Will this really be okay…?

"Age doesn't matter when love is true and honest," whispered Haruna's voice, as the busty girl spied behind Rentarou, peeking through a shelf, from its other side.

"Ah!" he gasped. "Weren't you supposed to be at the front desk?"

A mildly upset Shizuka timidly threw one of the books, passing over Rentarou's shoulder and hitting the moment-ruiner in the face with unerring accuracy.

"Wah, Shizuka-chan!" Haruna wailed. "That's no way to treat a book and you know it better than anyone…!"

 

[OverMaster]

Shiratori Yukina looked at her roommate, later that evening.

It wasn't strange that Shizuka acted distracted and faraway in her own world while reading, but she almost never smiled while doing it. Now, many would often accuse Yukina of being selfcentered, but much like Misa, deep inside she really cared for those few who actually could call themselves her friends, and so-

"Have you found a boy you like?" the girl with short reddish brown hair asked abruptly, looking up from her smartphone and making the other girl in the room start gagging in her saliva.

Well. Thank you for sort of helping me prove my point, Yukina-chan.

"You're welcome!" Yukina told the narrator peppily, and then addressed her roommate again with a wry smile. "I've hit a bullseye, haven't I? Oh, Shizuka-chan! That isn't anything to be ashamed of!"

Shizuka blushed, hid her face in the book, and made Yukina wait patiently, with an unwavering smile on her face.

Finally, Shizuka left the book aside, reached for the nightstand for her notebook, and flipped through it. After realizing she didn't have an entry for this kind of situation, she hastily wrote it herself and held the pages up for Yukina to see.

"Ooohhh, that handsome?" Yukina said. Well, she doubted he could ever be as handsome as Tsukomo-oniichan, but if it made Shizuka happy... "Then you have to do your best for him!" She grinned and wagged a finger. "I'll help you with a little makeover, okay?"

Shizuka's eyes opened a whole lot, and she was left even more speechless than usual.

She had a bad feeling about this...

Meanwhile, in his room, Saruyama snored in the lower bunk while Rentarou sat by their window, reading one of the books Shizuka had recommended him.

'Circlet Love Story'! he sobbed silently inwardly as he read. I had misjudged you from the reviews! You aren't merely a cheap power fantasy self insert romance, you are so moving...!

It was a love story between Princess Io and her guardian knight in goblin slayer armor, Kamacle, who fought against all manners of threats and villains for her sake. It was so, so much better than the anime adaptation! He also would have to check the video game one of these days...

"Don't give up, Kamacle!" Rentarou wiped a few manly tears off as he reached the end of the book. "I know you can do it! No matter what everyone in the court thinks! My heart is with you...!"

Saruyama drowsily lifted his head from the pillow. "Dude, you're still reading that? Tomorrow's a school day!"

Rentarou closed the book and sighed sadly. "End of Volume One! I have to read the continuation ASAP!"

Saruyama turned around on the bed. "You really have gone nuts. Is this what actually getting game does to a guy? Shouldn't it be the other way around?"

Rentarou pumped a fist up. "I'll see her again tomorrow! And we'll read the continuation together!"

"What's this 'tomorrow' you're talking about?!" Saruyama said irritably. "You mean later today! It's three A.M. already, you weirdo! Go to sleep, for fuck's sake!"

"I don't know if I'll be able to sleep after having so much excitement..." Rentarou confessed, eyes wide open.

Saruyama kindly helped him by knocking him out with a thrown lamp to the back of his head.

It's good to have friends who care!

 

[OverMaster]

"Gonna return that book already?" Karane asked as she and Hakari followed Rentarou into Library Island, later that afternoon.

"Yep, I already finished it but not the others, and I've gotta return one before being lent the continuation," her boyfriend said. "You guys really should borrow it too, it's great!"

"I'll make sure of it then," Hanezono smiled pleasantly. "Truly you are a man of great culture, Rentarou-kun!"

He chuckled awkwardly while they made it to the front counter. "Do you think so? W-Well, I've always liked books, but… but…" He trailed off, his gaze laying on Shizuka, who was attending the main desk today and had been dolled up, rather nicely combed, and her makeup subtly but remarkably accentuating her beauty. Yukina had made a good job, what, did you think she'd made her look like a clown? "G-Good morning, Yoshimoto-saaaaaan…"

The other two girls stopped behind him, then, after a few moments of pause, shared a weary sigh.

Shizuka looked back at him, shyly, and then gulped and showed a fresh annotation on her notebook. Good morning. Did you like it, Aijo-senpai?

"Oh yes, quite a lot! I already finished it and I'd like the second part, if you won't mind!" he smiled, gently setting the tome on the desk.

Shizuka smiled back, and showed him an excerpt of a review she'd copied. "A remarkable enough effort from a first time author, this book MIGHT just mark the start of a decently competent mainstream career. While the story lacks a strong dramatic spine owing to its escapist, carefree nature, the motivations for the main characters are understandable and solid, and the setting shows a certain amount of potential that would be greatly explored in the hands of a LeGuinn or Scarlet." –Fukawa Touko, The Tragedy of Genocide Jack.

"Oh, that's high praise from the likes of her, indeed!" Rentarou noted, enthusiast. Shizuka nodded rapidly.

"By the way," Rentarou said, pink hearts fluttering out of him, "what did you think to your hair? It's very fetching…"

Karane rasped loudly into a fist. "Rentarou! Aren't you gonna introduce us?!"

"Huh? Oh, yes, naturally!" he blushed, embarrassed. "You only met saw her briefly yesterday, but I got to speak with her for a while. This is Yoshimoto Shizuka-chan, an authority of books of all fields, and these are Inda Karane-chan and Hanezono Hakari-chan…"

"We are Rentarou-kun's girlfriends," Hakari said with a self assured smile.

Shizuka's eyes grew very, very, very open, and very, very, very, very round.

Rentarou nodded, since there was no point on hiding any of this and he'd never be ashamed of his girlfriends. He still braced himself, because while unavoidable, this was probably about to get kind of ugly. "I know that might sound kind of strange to some, but…"

There was a thud as Shizuka's back hit the floor.

"GAHHHHH!" Rentarou gasped. "SH-SHIZUKA-CHAN!"

From a nearby table, a tall woman in blue jeans and a tight black sweater remarking her large bust looked up from the book she had been absorbed into. Behind opaque glasses, her eyes briefly shone with subtle interest. Extremely long light purple hair, tied back into a ponytail, snaked behind her, almost reaching the floor.

Medusa hungered for mana a weak Master couldn't supply, but the area was tightly watched over lately, and she hadn't been able to bite a girl for days. However, surely nobody would find anything strange about a fainting damsel appearing drained and weak on her bed.

Watching in silence how Haruna and Yue emerged from around a hallway and helped Rentarou carry the unconscious librarian away, the quiet woman moved with stealth befitting an Assassin, making her way after them without Hakari and Karane, who were closing the formation, noticing her.

 

[OverMaster]

The girls surrounding her took a look at the book passage she was pointing at.

"What?" one of them asked. "What is that supposed to mean?"

"Can't you talk?"

"I, I, I can," Shizuka stuttered, "it's just that-"

"Then why don't you just do it?" another classmate asked. "Does it hurt or something?"

They wouldn't understand, of course.

"My opinion is," Arai Chie-sensei was telling Shizuka's parents now, "that you should take her to a specialist. She doesn't answer to treatment here, so there must be a deeper issue at hand..."

"No, absolutely not!" Shizuka's father had said. "If word gets out that my daughter is a mental case, we'll fall in disgrace...!"

Back at home, her mother was scolding her after spanking her. "Why must you do this to us?!" the woman demanded. "After all we've done for you!"
Shizuka shuddered and kept on staring at the floor.

"Look at me when I'm talking to you!" her mother demanded. "Do you know why you don't make any advances? Because you don't want to! If you only left that damn book aside and tried to speak, you could do it! You just refuse to, because it's easier for you!"

Shizuka tried to apologize, but only a garbled sound came out her throat.

"Enough! Speak! Speak! Speak!"

"I, I, I am...!"

"Why do you insist on being such a creepy child?!"

---

She opened her eyes widely and found herselg staring at the ceiling of that small room at the back of the reception, where they'd sit to eat lunch and dinner while on duty.

Someone had pulled a futon out of the emergency closet and set her on it. Looking around, she saw Aijo-san, Paru, Nodoka, Yue, Shiori and... Aijo-san's two girlfriends... all sitting on the floor, surrounding her.

"Thank God you're okay," Aijo-san breathed out. "You scared us for a moment...!" And then he made a pause. "Because you are okay, aren't you?"

Shizuka pondered this for a moment, and then nodded slowly.

Haruna sighed, standing up and pulling a jacket on. "That's great to know. Look, I'm not getting any reception here so I'll have to go look for Ako-chan myself. Inda-senpai, Hanezono-senpai, I'd like it if you could come with me."

"Eh? Why us?" Karane asked.

"Who is this Ako-san you are talking about?" Hakari inquired.

"A friend of us who works at the nurse's office. I'd also like to talk with you for a moment, Aijo-senpai." She motioned at the boy to come along, and he obeyed quietly after another worried look at the strangely still Shizuka. Haruna closed the door after the four of them, then told Rentarou very seriously, "Listen, as you can see, Shizuka-chan is kinda frail. I should've told you this earlier, but she was getting better lately, so I thought that-"

"Why don't you just use one of those magical cards to call her over?" Karane asked.

"Ako doesn't have a Pactio," Haruna said, "and we couldn't use magic before Shizuka-chan and Shiori-chan, they don't know about it."

"Why did she react that way?" Hakari asked. "She..." She looked at Rentarou, who blushed and lowered his head. "She and you, right...?"

"I'm sorry," he said. "I mean, I should have made it clear to you before, too..."

"What is done is done," Haruna said. "Right now, the last people she'll want to see are you two girls, but you," she pointed at the boy, "she needs to see that you haven't done this to her on purpose, just because you're a careless dork."

"I'm a careless dork," he admitted contritely. "But I'll do my best to make up for it!"

"Send Shiori back to the frontlines, Yue and Nodoka will help you out, stop you before you mess up again if necessary," Haruna instructed, beginning to herd the two older girls away despite Karane's protests. "Try to explain things as best as you can until we come back, and remember... all that is at risk here."

Rentarou gulped loudly. "Of course!"

"At risk?" Hakari said. "It's just a broken heart! It'll hurt, of course, and it's awful she has to go through with this, but she'll recover, just like-"

Haruna blushed for once and pulled her along, biting her tongue. "Put yourself in her place before downplaying it!" she demanded, and before long she had stormed away with them.

Rentarou stood there for a moment, silently contemplating what he hadn't wanted to dwell into yet.

Haruna-san is right... If I reject Shizuka-chan, or any of the others, she... they...

He tightened both fists by his sides and trembled impotently, closing his eyes.

How can I claim to love them if I can't even protect their lives?!

But there was no time to feel sorry about himself, he decided, so he sniffled tears back, turned around, and returned to the small back room, closing back after himself.

Appearing from thin air where Haruna had stood moments ago, and edging ever closer to the door, the tall shapely woman shifted into a tight black minidress with tall boots, and a thick blindfold replaced her glasses.

 

[OverMaster]

Shiori was sent back outside, and Rider let her pass while briefly shifting into her invisible astral form. The less people she would be detected by, the better. After the girl as out of sight and hearing, the Servant leaned against the closed door and listened.

Inside, Shizuka gestured at Nodoka with a hand. It took the older girl a moment to realize she was asking for her notebook and pen. Nodoka quickly gave them to her. Then the even shorter girl began writing.

These arrangements are pretty much like the ones you have with Negi-sensei, or am I wrong?

Yue gagged in her saliva as Rentarou sweatdropped. It was Nodoka, actually, who answered calmly. "No, Sensei has no actual girlfriends yet, he's too young for that."

Still, it is clear from Haruna's words...

"H-Haruna is always exaggerating a lot!" Yue coughed. "S-Sensei's closest associates are just too enthusiastic, that's all!"

I see...

"Besides," Nodoka added quietly, "I'm not part of those who are interested on him, not anymore. I... I have grown interested on another," she confessed with a small blush.

Shizuka raised an eyebrow. She didn't know about that, and for once Paru hadn't ever commented on the subject either, at least not in her presence.

I'm sorry for overreacting. That, of course, is no business of mine.

"No, don't say that!" Rentarou told her. "It's me who should apologize. On behalf of Hakari-chan and Karane-chan, too. They can be too direct at times."

Shizuka began writing something else down, and it was then that Rentarou truly realized how shortly into the notebook her annotations had gone yet. It was clear that even through this method, she rarely communicated directly with others.

It's not my place to judge you, or being scandalized by you. I'm too strange myself, far more than you.

"We are the way we have to be," Rentarou said. "If you truly want to change, then by all means you should do so, but it should be your own decision. You shouldn't be pressured by what anyone would think."

"We don't think you are strange, Shizuka," Yue said.

The long haired girl gave a long, but very soft sigh.

I know, and I'm thankful to you for it. But I cannot escape the fact I can't and shouldn't stay like this forever. I'm just being childish.

"Oh, no, you are very mature," Rentarou said. "For starters... you didn't react by hitting me or anything..."

I did hit Haruna yesterday.

"That's Haruna-san, nobody could blame you," Rentarou smiled, and after a moment of blinking surprise, Shizuka had to let out a tender joyous sound.

"Ah, so that's how you laugh!" he said. "It's a very pretty laugh..."

Shizuka blushed and raised the notebook enough as to cover her face, but not exaggeratedly so. Yue and Nodoka smiled too.

Shizuka wrote something else in a hurry and showed it to him. I'd like us to be friends, if you won't mind.

"I'd love to," Rentarou said.

Noticing something that had been left unsaid and probably should have been said, Shizuka blushed again and added, in a hurry, I'd like to be friends with your girlfriends as well!

He nodded. "I'm sure they'll be just as happy!"

Then he reached over and gently stroke her hair, marveling at how silky it felt between his fingers. "I'm so glad you are feeling better now."

She nodded. Sorry for worrying you. Would you like more books? We could read them together...

Nodoka tensed up for some reason, glancing back over her shoulder. "Yue," she said. "Behind me."

"Huh?" Yue said, right before the door was kicked in and down.

 

[OverMaster]

"Hello, Toshaka!" said the heavily accented girl standing on her doorstep, as soon as Rin answered the ring. "It's been a while! Professor Waver sent me to check how you were doing and-"

Rin closed the door on her face.

"Who is it, Neesama?" asked Sakura's voice from the breakfast table.

"Nobody!" Rin shouted.

"You can't escape reality by denying it, Tohsaka!" said the girl at the other side of the front door. "Believe me, I should know!"

"You got the wrong house, the Tohsakas lived down the street but moved away recently!" Rin said, pinching her own nose.

"You look and sound exactly like my old friend and classmate Tohsaka Rin!" the voice waiting outside said.

"Tohsaka Rin-sama was very popular here so we copied her good looks and fashion!" Rin insisted, forcing her most annoying nasal tone. "Besides, you never were her friend!"

Sakura had already gotten up from the table and approached her sister. "Is she the 'just bothersome' kind of Clock Tower student, or the 'potentially murderous' kind?" she asked Rin in a whisper.

Rin gestured at her with a hand to stay silent.

"I can blow the door in if I want to, you know!" the third girl said.

Sakura sighed, pushed her sister aside, and opened the door again. She smiled her best and closed her eyes. "Good morning, how can we help you? I'm Sakura, the second Tohsaka heiress..."

"Ah, yes, I've heard of you too," nodded the pink haired, quirkily beautiful older girl with the star shaped eyepatch. Several huge luggage backs were set down at each side of her. "Well, take my things inside and start preparing my guest room, will you? I'll have to stay for a while, I'm afraid..."

"What. Are. You. Doing. Here," Rin squinted her eyes icily at the newcomer.

The single exposed eye blinked. "Oh, weren't you contacted to announce my arrival? Didn't you get the Professor's e-mail?"

"We don't have e-mail," Rin said while Sakura, after a heavy sigh, began collecting this strange person's luggage and pulling it inside.

"Yes, that would explain why you wouldn't receive it," the eyepatched female stepped in without a single care. "Where is your Servant? You haven't lost it yet, have you? I have to assume you haven't, or you'd be cowering in the church under that priest friend of yours..."

"He's not my friend either!" Rin growled as she began helping Sakura with the bags.

The foreigner plopped down on a couch and crossed her legs. "There's a whole lot of people you aren't friends with, Tohsaka," she said. "That's bound to cause trouble for you in the future! You should learn from me, other than Luvia, I don't have any enemies anywhere..."

"Sakura," Rin hissed, throwing the last of the annoyance's luggage inside and slamming the door after them. "This is Yvette L. Lehrman, a classmate under Professor Waver Velvet..."

"Ahhhh!" Yvette sighed at the mention of the name, hearts fluttering out of her. "Profesor Charisma...!"

"Is he so sick of you already that he sent you here to trouble me instead?" Rin asked, while Sakura noticed a strange movement inside of one of the bags and lifted an eyebrow at it. "I'd prefer even Flatt over you..."

Yvette frowned briefly. "Now that's an insult, what have I ever done to you to deserve that? By the way, Sakura, you should let Ruby out, I see she's getting claustrophobic in there. And then she'll bitch on for hours..."

Rin's eyes bugged out. "Ruby?!"

"Who is Ruby?" Sakura asked innocently. "A familiar?"

"Sort of," Yvette said, waving a hand at the bag that was moving. "It's that one, unzip it and let the little troublemaker out, it can't be helped..."

"No!" Rin said. "No, don't do it, nothing good can come from it!"

But Sakura was already kneeling by the heavy bag and opening its zipper, genuinely curious. And then a long staff with small wings at the tip flew upwards out of the bag, almost reaching the ceiling and screaming with a squeaky feminine voice. "At last, my big moment is here...! After being teased for so long, Magical Ruby debuts to take no prisoners and give no craps...! Ushering on a new era of lovely justice through magical genocide, the pure hearted beacon of righteousness has arrived...!"

Rin pointed angrily at Yvette. "I blame YOU of whatever happens from this point!"

Yvette snorted loudly. "You're always such a pain! No wonder the Professor didn't want you handling this! So, where's that Servant already, huh? He's a hunky big man, isn't he? That is why you're hiding him from me...?"

 

[OverMaster]

Interlude:

Seeing Hakari leave Library Island with her roommate and one of the librarians, a girl with short black hair stood at a distance of the bridge leading to terra firma.

She was dressed in a boyish style, complete with masculine pants and a long sleeved white dress shirt. As usual, she kept her observations from afar, and she started moving along to follow them as best as she could, while keeping her binoculars well in hand.

"She isn't with him right now," she said, radioing someone, "but she's still with Inda. She looks worried for some reason."

The voice at the other end of the line hummed. "I see. So soon after entering..."

"Do you want me to bug the place after this?" she asked. "It's obvious that something is starting to happen in there, involving the three of them."

"Yes, you should do that," the voice approved. "I'll give her a couple weeks more. If she hasn't left him by then, you know what to do."

"Yes, Ma'am. Of course, Ma'am," the young woman said as the communication was cut. For now.

Ojou-sama, what are you thinking?! she wondered in her mind. The Mistress might even allow you a normal relationship, but never something like this...!

At some point, Hakari slowed down and looked aside intently. "What's wrong?" Karane asked.

"I don't know," Hakari replied, confused. "I felt, for a moment, that someone was watching me..."

"Someone is watching us," said Haruna. "Not too close, and I don't think they've got any ill intent, but they are," she added, without ever stopping.

"And how the hell can you be that sure?" Karane said.

Haruna smiled proudly. "My father is Saotome Ranma!"

"Who?" Karane asked.

"The demigod of martial arts! Master of attack and defense!" Haruna proclaimed. "I inherited his keen senses, sharper than a panther's! And, well, Auntie Kodachi has a ninja retainer too, Sasuke-san. He taught me a couple things," she shrugged.

"I'm sorry I asked," Karane moved on.

Hakari hummed to herself, and then smiled. "Oh, I see, so it's only that! Never mind then! When one is beautiful, rich and popular, one has secret admirers watching from the shadows all the time! It's no big deal!"

"People like you inevitably end up kidnapped at some point of their lives, didn't you know that?!" Karane foreshadowed.

Still on the prowl after them, Tsugumi Seishirou despaired inwardly. Oh, Ojou-sama...! Why did I have to report you? Nobody, anywhere, could understand my pain for you...!

"Wow, Setsuna-san," Asuna was saying somewhere else in the campus. "I had no idea someone could sneeze THAT strongly! It made your wings pop out and everything!"

"I swear it'd never happened before!" Setsuna gasped, hastily trying to pull her long white wings back, ashamed of them.

 

[OverMaster]

Omake!

"You know what, we should fish out all of your girlfriends already!" Haruna decided.

"Eh? What's the hurry?!" Karane said.

"It'll take too long otherwise!" Haruna argued. "And there's too much else to do as well! The Grail War! Negi-kun's search for his dad! The pony sidestory! That World God Only Knows spinoff that we never got started!"

"Pony sidestory?" Hakari blinked.

"We'll post advertisements in the school newspaper, so girls come here and look at your face, Senpai!" Paru told Rentarou. "That way, the proccess will be much faster! 'See if you can find the love of your life'! We'll charge for the chance to look at your face, and we'll make a mint!"

"... why would anyone want me to be the love of their life before they even meet me?" Rentarou asked.

"..." Haruna said. Slowly, she began rubbing her chin, then she sped the rubbing up, and when her hand was starting to sizzle against her flesh, with tiny sparks flying off, she brightened up with a huge smile before the Senpais could stop her in concern. "Ah! Of course! Negi-kun is popular everywhere, so we'll charge to get a good look at him, and you'll usher them in, so you share a look in their way in...!"

Hakari sighed and looked at Shizuka. "Yoshimoto-san, if you would please."

Shizuka tossed her notebook on Haruna's head.

 

[OverMaster]

Yue pulled Shizuka against herself immediately, as a strange tall woman clothed quite suspiciously strode into the room with those long legs of hers. In a hand, she held a long chain attached to two small daggers, one at each end.

Nodoka grabbed her neck pendant, anf it flashed, turning into a long staff. Shizuka couldn't see this quite clearly herself, pressed against Ayase, as she was. "Rider-san!" Nodoka said.

"How would you know about me?" the beautiful lady said.

"I'm friends with Saber-san," Nodoka said, materializing an open book in her left hand.

"I see," the Legendary Spirit said. "Then I have an actual reason to destroy you, don't I?"

"Then she'll be even more furious at you when she gets here," Nodoka said, standing her ground. Rentarou had moved before Shizuka and Yue to shield them, Yue still holding Yoshimoto still while using her other hand to text Shirou in silence.

Rider smiled. "I never expected anything for a duel to the death next time we fought," she said, slowly stepping towards the youngsters and swinging her chain in circles. "That wouldn't change anything."

Nodoka took a very deep breath. "Please, Medusa-san, don't do this..."

Rider stopped, eyes widening behind the blindfold. After a moment of mutism, she scowled. "I have even less reasons to let you live now."

The tip of Nodoka's staff touched the pages of the book. This, Shizuka could see it, managing to look past Yue and Rentarou and gasping softly to herself. "Don't you want to know how I learned it?" she tried to negotiate, knowing well that she could kill them all, and leave before Saber could arrive.

"I always could just torture it out of you."

Nodoka's mind went through everything she remembered from Kuro's descriptions back in Kyoto. Rider was apparently inhuman, and used a cold survival logic, but otherwise could be reasoned with. At least, she hoped that world's Rider was like this one, in that regard. Otherwise... "Please, Medusa-san. You aren't a monster. And killing us won't get you anywhere."

"I need your mana, right now," Rider began advancing towards them again.

"Monster-san is with our circle of allies right now," Nodoka said, while Yue placed a hand on Rentarou's mouth and stopped him from talking. "You don't know the truth about the Holy Grail yet. Achieving it wouldn't do any of you any good..."

"I'll be the judge of that," Rider said, hefting one of the daggers, poised for a death strike.

Nodoka sighed and slammed the open book. "Saber!" she shouted, summoning the Servant card, the anomaly in her collection.

The room seemed to explode in a surge of white light.

---

 

[OverMaster]

Shiori thought she had heard some noise coming from the back room, and since the only thing to do right now was putting the Oberon Sexton books in order, she headed back there to see if something was happening.

The door was closed when Shiori got back there, but before she could open it, Nodoka was sent out flying through it, wearing some sort of long blue dress, and holding a sword in a hand. She crashed against Shiori's midsection, knocking her down and out as she dropped on her.

"G-Gah!" the younger student scrambled up, panicking at what she'd just done. "Senpai!"

Rider walked out, still swinging her chain around casually. "I told you that this would be pointless. Even if you can take a Servant's appearance, you obviously cannot fight like one…"

"Remains to be seen!" Nodoka said, lunging ahead with her blade and pushing Rider back from Shiori's prone, swirly-eyed body.

"Cute," the actual Servant said, easily dodging the strike by arching her back away from Nodoka. "You seem to have a lot of mana, you'll do better than that girl…"

"Leave her alone!" Rentarou and Yue found themselves screaming at the same time. Shizuka looked around desperately for anything she could use to help. This was a serious matter, so just tossing a book at that woman definitely wouldn't work…

"Don't make this harder for yourself," Rider asked softly, kicking Nodoka in the chin and sending her stumbling back. "I can tell your body isn't up to par with your spirit."

"I have a lot of mana," Nodoka said stubbornly, pulling out a Clow card and using it. "Windy!"

Rider was blown off her feet and flew against a wall, which genuinely startled her. "What are you?" she wondered, trying to toss her chain at Nodoka, only to find that the compact streams of air she was being bombarded with now made it impossible for her main weapon to connect. "That is not a Saber's style!"

Rentarou held Yue and Shizuka up, holding each under an arm. "I, I'll come back with help!" he promised, taking off running with both. Since the fight was blocking the way out, he had no choice but fleeing deeper into the Library, even though he didn't know the place all that well. Usually he'd mostly resort to reading e-books. "I promise!"

"No, let me go!" Yue gasped. "I, I can't leave Nodoka like that!"

"There's nothing you can do!" the boy said, and Yue lowered her head, having to admit that was the case indeed. If only I had made a Pactio with Negi-sensei, like everyone else…! she thought regretfully.

Shizuka made a small, choked hiccup. "N-N-Nodoka."

She was, actually, amazed by how fast this boy could move, carrying both of them at once. Even though they were small and light, he hadn't thought him likely to pull such a feat, since he wasn't remarkably big or muscular.

Even though her first thoughts were with Nodoka, she couldn't help feel swooned by him as well. He was like a knight in shining armor, taking his damsel away from danger…

A tiny Rentarou appeared at a lower corner of the screen, scratching his chin with a finger and sweatdropping. "Come on, I'm only escaping…! I'm a Sir Robin at best!"

Well, that's still better than nothing, right?

 

[OverMaster]

"You two stay here, okay?" Rentarou asked, finally setting Shizuka and Yue down under a table, several empty hallways apart from the battle. It was as far as he could take them since he had hit a dead end. "I'll go see if there's another exit…"

"From here, the only way out is the front," Yue informed him while Shizuka grabbed him by a sleeve. "You're thinking of heading back, aren't you? Don't."

Rentarou paused. "I'm sorry, but if there's anything I can do…"

"You can't even imagine the power of someone like that Rider woman," Yue said, pulling herself out from under the table. "Stay here and look after Yoshimoto-san. I'll go instead, as I'm a trained library defender…"

Shizuka shook her head vehemently, now grabbing her sleeve as well.

Yue looked down at her. "I'm sorry, but Nodoka… I can't just stand back and let Nodoka fight alone, okay?! There must be something that I can—Never mind, looks like they've settled the matter for us," she finished, sweating a large drop as she saw Nodoka being hurled their way from around a corner.

Yue, rather quickly, threw herself ahead to catch Nodoka in her arms, diving down for a save. The other girl was battered and bruised all over, and if not for the powerup the Class card had given her, she would be unconscious or worse right now. "UQ Holder 187…" she muttered groggily. "It's UQ Holder 187 all over again…"

"D-Don't say that!" Yue gasped, even as Rentarou and Shizuka moved in to see to her wounds, and Rider appeared again, stalking towards them in long lurches. "Please, Nodoka, hold on…!"

Miyazaki breathed very deeply, pulling herself back up and softly pushing Yue back. She half smiled at the incoming Rider. "Jump," she said, summoning another card and using it to start bouncing around the Servant, hitting her with her staff from every angle.

Rentarou hugged Shizuka, who was just hiccupping with horror now. "Dammit! When did this story become this grimly serious?! There must be something we can do!"

Rider blocked Nodoka's blows with her forearm, expertly stopping each with the experience granted by years of fighting and killing Greek heroes. "I'm sorry to tell you this," she said, a hand becoming a blur of motion. She took Nodoka by an ankle and slammed her on a shelf, sending books flying everywhere and making Yue scream. "But you aren't even starting to inconvenience me."

She held the stunned Card Captor up and brought her neck towards her mouth, as she bared her teeth. "Regardless, you can provide me with richer mana than your friend. There is no need for them to—"

And then Rentarou threw himself at Rider's legs, hugging them before she could drain Nodoka. "NO!" he shouted. "Take me in her place!"

Rider looked down. "Excuse me?"

"You, you didn't come here for her in the first place, did you?! Whatever you're going to do, you can do it to me instead! But please leave them alone!"

Yue had to restrain Shizuka, who was trying to reach over to them and drag him back as best as she could.

Rider looked hard and long at this pitiful creature clinging to her. Her eyes were hidden, and yet she somehow seemed to be studying his eyes, looking for sincerity or falsehood there. She didn't feel any special spark—if anything, there was something instinctively repulsive about this boy—and yet she couldn't feel second intents or selfish purposes in him either.

She was mostly unused to see people sacrificing their lives for others. Even those who would visit the Shapeless Island would most often just look for personal glory, thinking they would succeed easily, rather than thinking of the greater good. Deep inside, the woman who cared dearly about her sisters thought of these small young men scattered around her, confused and in fear, and she felt ashamed about herself.

"You may be a better person than me," she told Rentarou, gently setting Nodoka on the floor and grabbing him by the throat, pulling him up like you could lift a kitten. "So be it, then. Thanks on their behalf."

"Suh-Senpai!" Shizuka screamed, struggling free from Yue and stumbling towards them.

But Rider already had sunk her teeth on Rentarou's neck and started suckling.

Then she was punched in the back by a metal gauntlet, and she was forced to throw the dizzy Rentarou aside, as she spun around to see a familiar valiant figure standing there, blocking the way she had come from.

Artoria Pendragon's bright green eyes glowered at her in righteous anger. In her hand, the air around the invisible blade seemed to shimmer and shift in constant flux.

"Rider!" the Saber said. "Let us finish what we started in the observatory!"

 

[OverMaster]

"I don't like this friend of yours," Vigilante deadpanned, seeing Yvette laughing hysterically while slapping her knee over and over.

"I told you she isn't my friend!" Rin growled before grabbing Yvette by the collar and jerking her up so they were face to face. "Okay, enough of that! So what if he looks like that?! As long as he can fight, it's all the same! I didn't summon a boyfriend but a fighter?!"

"That, that thing can fight?" Yvette chortled, right before getting a light bop on the head from behind. Since that bop had just been given by Monster's mace, it wasn't actually all that gentle, and she winced in pain. "Hey, what gives?!" she said, grabbing her head and instantly stopping laughing.

"Monster and Vigilante have grown close," Sakura said with a smile. "They are good friends."

"Uuuh," Monster confirmed.

"I like you already!" Ruby said, flying in circles around Sakura's head. "What if you take me away from that numbskull and use me as you see fit? I'll bet you'd look great in Mahou Shoujo attire! A bit too busty, maybe, but you're still the youngest one here..."

Yvette grabbed Ruby and pulled her down. "That's out of the question!" the girl snapped before telling Rin, "Look, you can't deny he's too small, unless all other Servants are pygmies, what chances does he have?"

"That's my business, not yours," Rin said, folding her arms. "You're here only to take care of the Class cards, right? Just look for them, collect all seven, and then leave the way you came! That's all, and then we can forget we ever knew each other!"

"Nothing would make me happier," Yvette said, all pretenses of good humor dropped by then. "But remember, as the guardian of these grounds, you are obligated to house me in the meanwhile. And I don't want my room to be blown away just because your Servants couldn't watch over your house properly!"

"Saber is our ally, we have an arrangement of sorts with Lancer's Master, Berserker's Master isn't really interested on us, and Negi-sensei is negotiating with Rider as we speak," Rin said. Briefly, she glanced at the screen and said, "The events of this chapter take place shortly after the third chapter of the 108 Girlfriends story." She went back to addressing Yvette, who was blinking in confusion. "That only leaves Caster, Archer and Assassin as unknown factors."

"Assassin alone is reason enough to worry!" protested Yvette, who had read enough on how a Grail War was supposed to go. Professir Velvet had been part of one, after all, so it was her duty as a fangirl to document herself on them. "What guarantees are there I won't be killed in my sleep?"

"They are decreasing steadily the longer this conversation goes," Rin confessed.

"That was a good one!" Ruby chirped. "You'd have made a great Mahou Shoujo when you were young!"

"I am young!" Rin sizzled. "Anyway, take it or leave, Lehrman. Unless you can get me a stronger Servant, not that you could summon anyone but a Playgirl centerfold model..."

Yvette threw her hands up. "Fine, fine! I can look after myself anyway."

Rin smiled. "Don't be so gloomy now! Just to get me off my hair as soon as possible, I'll even give you the first card!"

"Eh?" Yvette blinked. "You have it already?"

"Not me," Rin admitted, "but I know the girl who caught it. It's the current heiress of Clow Reed's legacy."

"Oh, so Kerberos is around!" Ruby said excitedly. "I can't wait to see the old dumbass again...!"

Rin gave her a level, weary glare before half-sighing. "I doubt he'll feel the same way, but that's between the two of you. Anyway, she caught the Saber, and as everyone knows, Sabers are the best of all Servants, so--"

"Master," Vigilante said, slightly irritated by that remark, "you shouldn't just assume that Miss Nodoka will want to hand the card over. She earned it through a fair fight with it, after all, and it's in her every right to keep it..."

---

Library Island:

Miyazaki Nodoka nodded and quickly handed the ecstatic Yvette the Saber card. "Of course, I'll be glad to, Senpai!" the younger, shorter girl said. "I also think it should be returned where it belongs, along all the other cards of its kind!"

"Aaahhhh!" Yvette almost weeped, holding the card tightly. "The Professor will be so proud...! I'll have them all before I even know it...!"

Rin sweatdropped. "This was only a stroke of luck, you'll have to work for all the others..." Then she looked at Nodoka. "Are you sure about this? Will you just give it up like that?"

"It's the correct thing to do," Nodoka said. "And if we don't do the correct things, karma will find a way to punish us and have us sliced like dogs to suffer an ignominious death on the surface of Pluto."

"Nodo-chan, UQ Holder isn't canon for this story and nobody's saying that will ever happen here, just let it go already," Saotome Haruna advised.

"It's not easy, believe me," Ayase Yue said, then addressed Rin. "If it means Servants and Servant-related cards will stop attacking us so much after sensing the card's energy, then it'll be well worth it."

"Where is Kero? Where is Kero?!" Ruby demanded, flapping in place excitedly. "I want to speak with him again! I want to see him reduced to a pitiful plushie and laugh at him, since that must be how he is now if the Clow cards are lost! C'mon, call him here...!"

"He's back at home," Nodoka said. "He'd rather risk being sighted in public as little as possible..."

"Oh, that's his eternal excuse, he's just lazy and likes to stay indoors stuffing his mouth! Get it? Stuffing? Because he's a stuffed toy...!" Ruby said. "Then take me there, we'll have a better conversation that way!"

"I'm not sure we want any of you in our apartment, actually," Yue said bluntly.

"Yue..." Nodoka said.

"Oh, don't worry, the feeling is mutual after all," Yvette said casually. "As a matter of fact, I'll be showering intensely right after going back home, just to get this place's smell off myself. Of course, that doesn't mean that I'm not extremely grateful to you, it's just that, well...! You know...!"

Yoshimoto Shizuka frowned, wrote something on her notebook, and pointed at the new lines on its pages. I'm afraid visit hours are just over! Please leave now, it's been a pleasure...

 

[OverMaster]

The world had gone completely insane.

This thought just wouldn't leave Aijo's mind as he recovered as best as he could, grabbed Shizuka, and raced with her in his arms, bridal style, past where Saber and Rider were now colliding in close quarters, hitting each other with incredible amounts of brutality. Yue was also doing the same with the stunned Nodoka, once again surprising Rentarou with how strong she could get despite her diminutive size.

"Rider, you must listen!" the blonde said, whacking the taller woman against the wall. "The Grail may be cursed! Activating it would be flirting with disaster!"

"Must you resort to lies to get the better of me, Saber?" Rider growled, lashing out with a kick, and managing to hit Saber across the jaw thanks to the lenght of her legs. "It won't work! I'll only surrender the Cup with my very life!"

"God, are they always like that?" Rentarou said, then screeching to a halt as they ran into Shirou, who was entering the main hall where Shiori was still unconscious by the door of the back room. "Ah! Emiya-san!" he recognized him.

"We'll talk later!" the redhead promised, running past them without ever stopping, and heading towards the site of the battle between the Servants.

Rentarou looked after him. "Should we...?"

"Yes. Yes, we should!" Yue said, getting ahead with Nodoka through the front door. "Trust them! They're used to this!"

Once outside, they still keep running for a few minutes, until they had crossed the bridge. Yue, out of breath, stopped by a tree and placed Nodoka on the roots, catching her breath back in loud gasps. "Shiori-san..." she said. "We should..."

"On it," Rentarou said, also setting Shizuka down and running back to the Library. Shizuka, giving a small terrified hiccup, tried to run after him, but stumbled on her own feet and fell on her face, allowing him to get away.

"Did you hurt yourself?" Yue asked, helping her back up. Shizuka shook her head, wincing a bit as two crossed band-aids suddenly appeared on her face for just a moment, like a visual gag in a manga. Yue pulled her cellphone out. "We should have signal now we're here, let me call Sensei..."

Shizuka, very pale and confused, looked back towards the building, and breathed out only when she saw Rentarou sprinting back with Shiori flung over a shoulder. He panted and wheezed while stopping by them, putting the sleeping librarian next to a slowly waking Miyazaki. "I'm... I'm sorry you had to see this..." he apologized to Shizuka.

She blinked, and then shook her head briskly. "N-No..." she managed to say.

He smiled sadly, and then put a hand on her head. He waited until Rider's latest blood curling scream finished, and then told Shizuka. "No. I must be honest with you. This... This is the kind of life I've been dragged off, more or less. To be fair... it's more like I entered it, out of my own will..."

"... No, I'd say that this has nothing to do with what happened to you," Yue opined, fanning Nodoka back into full consciousness. "Completely different kinds of strangeness..."

Rentarou exhaled. "Maybe. But even so, I can't deny what my life has become, and what that implies for anyone approaching me. I'm really sorry, Shizuka-chan. Yes, indeed, not only I have two girlfriends already, but... I might have to get myself more, actually, horrible as that may sound. And every day of my life, of our lives, from now on will probably be filled with oddity and craziness. Still, I'll do my best to protect Hakari, and Karane, and everyone else around me, no matter what. That includes you, naturally, no matter what you decide to do about me."

Shizuka looked up at him, with large, shiny eyes that almost seemed to swallow him whole.

A pair of students passed by, coming from the library and leaving the sounds of shattering glass everywhere behind. "I don't know what's happened to the management...!" one of them was telling the other. "You can't study in peace there anymore...!"

When they were gone, Rentarou sighed and spoke again. "Shizuka-chan. I really, really, really like you," he confessed. "The last thing I'd want is to see you brought to harm by my proximity. It's okay if you just want to walk away from me, but please, someday, we should talk about this subject again. Maybe by then, things have changed enough as to-"

"I..." a weak sound erupted from Shizuka's throat, struggling to be heard. "I... I like... you... too..."

He blinked, then blushed, even as Nodoka and Yue paid close attention and even the KOed Shiori perked an ear up, cheeks flushing. "Shizuka-chan?" the boy gulped. "Are you sure...?"

Shizuka tried to speak once more, failed, and then desperately made hand gestures at Yue.

"Ah, sign language," Ayase said flatly. "Yes, of course I understand." She looked blandly at Rentarou. "Senpai, she isn't afraid of living an exciting, dangerous, romantic adventure with you everyday, but she says she's kind of afraid all the same, because your love is forbidden..."

"Hakari and Karane won't object," Rentarou told Shizuka. "Well, Karane might, but that's just her being Tsundere!"

Yue almost gagged. "What, what kind of answer is that? Do you realize how sexist are you- Huh?" she blinked at Shizuka's newest hand signs. "Seriously? You would be willing to give it a try...?"

Shizuka blushed again and nodded.

Rentarou beamed. "Ah! Shizuka-chan!"

Yue facepalmed. "For the love of God! I can't believe it, even for the standards of Ala Alba this is too-"

A sharp male cry of "SABER!" interrupted her, right before Rider was blasted out a window, then flew across the air over the bridge, crashlanding vilently several steps away from them.

A few moments of stunned stupor from them later, a badly battered Rider rose back on wobbly legs, even as Saber also jumped out that window to land on her feet before the other Heroic Spirit, much phsyically better and still ready to keep on fighting. "So, Rider..." the blonde said, "You were saying?"

"I might just hear after all, since you have made... a convincing case so far..." Medusa coughed.

Haruna walked into sight, with Ako, Hakari, and an already groaning Karane in tow. "Oh my God, our windows," the librarian gasped, staring up at the building. "I swear, if a single book was damaged in there, I'm so killing all of you...!"

"U-Us as well?" Nodoka stammered nervously.

"Friendship is one thing and the line of duty is another!" Haruna said with a fist on her heart. "You knew the responsibilities when you made the Club's Oath!"

 

[OverMaster]

When Shiori woke up, she was in a clean bed in the infirmary. That oddly likable Katsuragi-san sat by her bedside, playing a galge in his PFP, and Izumi Ako and Haruna stood at each side of him.

"Ah, you're awake now," the boy noted calmly, briefly putting the portable console now. "Are you feeling well?"

"... Y-Yes," Shiomiya stuttered, blushing brightly. "Katsuragi-san, why are you here...?"

"Oh, he heard you were here so he came to see you!" Haruna smiled. "He's been here for the last half hour, never leaving your side!"

The boy rasped uneasily. "It's the least I should do after how you helped me..."

Shiori paused, wide eyed, while Ako took her pulse. "Th-Thanks..." She looked at Haruna. "What, what happened? I thought I saw..."

Haruna moved a hand in circles. "Just a troublemaker throwing a tantrum and tossing books around! That's all!"

"Ah," Shiori said. "But I thought-"

"She might have been wearing some sort of costume but that's all what was strange about her!" Haruna said while Ako rolled her eyes back subtly. Like most of the school knew already anyway, so why to keep these farces at random? Maybe Chao was right after all. "Yue and Nodoka are cleaning up now since it happened under their watch!"

"Ah," Shiori said. "And Shizuka-san? Is she feeling better now?"

Paru giggled. "Oh, yes! I gave her an early leave since she's gone on a date, believe it or not...!"

---

"We came to put on posters!" Hakari said, passing by the janitor with the wary Karane, neither of them carrying posters anywhere.

The man hummed from his chair, indolently reading his latest super interesting volume of To Love Ru. "Ah, again...? Well, don't take too long..." he yawned.

Hakari smiled as they went up the stairs of the already mostly deserted building of the malae academy. "I told you. Pay up!"

Karane groaned, pulling her wallet out and slapping two bills on Hakari's open hand. "Why do you need money? You're rich!"

They reached the rooftop, and sure enough, Rentarou stood there with Shizuka. "Ah, good you could make it!" he smiled at the duo. "I trust you didn't have any problems?"

"It's not like I'd be here if getting in were difficult!" Karane folded her arms and glared aside. "N-Not like you're worth the extra effort or anything, b-baka!"

Shizuka blinked. Was this girl for real, or she just liked acting like a manga character?

Rentarou drew a deep breath. "I took the liberty of calling you here since, in light of all the recent events, and after considering a lot of our life choices in the face of deadly danger, I have decided that-"

"Don't start a long ass speech, just give us the short notes!" Karane snapped. "We know everything that transpired, okay?!"

"... not everything," Rentarou had to point out meekly. "That is the key of the matter, I have decided that I can't live without Shizuka-chan any more than I could live without you, and she can't live, I mean, she doesn't want to live without me either, so please, if it's not much of a bother, could you accept her as my girlfriend out of the goodness of your hearts?"

Shizuka's eyes grew to the size of saucers and she began trembling violently, almost weeping. Had he really just put it like that...?!

"ARE YOU DELUSIONAL OR SUMTHIN', YOU SENSELESS MOTHERFUCKA?!" Inda screamed, eyes bugging out. "THE HELL IS THAT A WAY OF PHRASING SUCH A STUPID THING?!"

"I know it's a lot to take in so quickly, but you didn't have an issue with sharing with each other before!" he pleaded, raising his hands.

"THAT'S DIFFERENT! Hanezono, and I, well, we are not friends or anything, but we have learned to tolerate each other!" She then realized how Shizuka was on the verge of tears and made an abrupt swerve, blushing as she apologized. "I mean, sorry, you look tolerable enough, more than this slut here, but, ah, ah, you tell her, Hanezono!" She turned to her roommate. "Explain why it's kind of okay with you, not that I care if you even try or not!"

Hakari bit on her thumb. "Rentarou-kun...!"

He swallowed. "Y-Yes? Hakari-chan?"

"Thank you for not only not dumping me, but even consulting my opinion before having an affair...!" Hakari wailed. "I had no idea I meant THAT much to you...!"

"THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU, ARE YOU THAT ARISTOCRATS JOKE GIVEN LIFE?!" Inda demanded.

Streams of tears began descending from Rentarou's eyes. "Oh, Hakari-chan! You are so understanding...!"

"BRAIN DAMAGED IS MORE LIKE IT!" Karane roared.

Rentarou turned to Shizuka and pulled a small wrapped package up. "Since the girls have accepted you, Shizuka-chan, I can give you this..."

"AH!?" Hakari gasped, making an emotional U turn. "A WEDDING RING ALREADY?! NO, NO, NO, NOT BEFORE ME, THAT, I'LL DEFINITELY NOT APPROVE...!"

He looked at her reassuringly. "I'm not going to propose marriage to anyone yet, Hakari-chan."

"Oh, in that case, please go on. My apologies."

"*I* HAVEN'T SAID I'M OKAY WITH IT!" Karane loudly reminded them.

He gave her a worried look. "Oh? I assumed you were being Tsundere, Karane-chan. Do you actually have an issue with it?"

"DO YOU NEED TO EVEN ASK?! Of course I... I... I...!" she stammered, taking another look at Shizuka's small, vulnerable, tender form about to break into tears again. Karane shuddered at the force of this all too cute vision of kawaiines and, like in an old outdated Western gag anime, she felt her head replaced by a giant shoe heel reading 'First Class Heel' for a moment. Then she humphed, blushed, and again her head whipped aside. "Of course I'm consistent on these matters! Do as you wish, as if I'm gonna stop you!"

Shizuka thought this wasn't exactly the most reassuring way to express acceptance, but since she was far more accomodating herself, she gave a small nod while receiving Senpai's gift, and then unwrapped it.

"It's a new smartphone I paid Hakase-san for," Rentarou explained as she held it in wonder. "It comes with an app that allows you for a fast copy of manuscript data, either downloaded from its Internet connection or saved through this memory card. It will be much faster to write in than the notebook, and it comes with an e-book copy of 'Circlet Love Story'..."

Shizuka gave several sobbing shudders.

He smiled again and put a hand on her shoulder. "That way, it'll be much easier for you find quotes to express your feelings through."

"She didn't do that all that often in this chapter, did she?" Karane wondered. "More like just once."

"It's easier for the author that way," Hakari explained.

Shizuka sniffled, then quickly typed a reply, which she immediately showed Rentarou.

In a distracted world,
full of barely controlled chaos,
when you lock your eyes onto mine,
focusing, listening, hearing, caring,
the comfort and pleasure you create
is priceless.
By Joanna Fuchs.

"Awwwww!" Rentarou cried Manly Sensitive Tears as she drew her into a hug. "I don't deserve any of this, any of you! But please, I beg of you, if any of you feels like I'm not living up to your expectations... that I'm making you unhappy or something... tell me honestly, and-"

He made a proper serious pause, and then declared with every note of solemnity, "- I will commit seppuku!"

Shizuka stiffened in place and her eyes grew several sizes.

"You... You have just spent far too long with Itoshiki-sensei, haven't you...?" Karane sweatdropped.

"You're not a samurai, Rentarou-dono, I mean sama, I mean kun!" Hakari panicked.

"Whether I am or not, I am still just as tied to the responsibilities I have with you," he said, gaze high and fixed. "If I failed at them, I would be scum, the worst of the worst. There is no bigger crime than making girls unhappy. I have already ordered a dagger through Amazon, and Setsuna-san has agreed to be my kaishakunin in case of need..."

"I'M PRETTY SURE THAT AIN'T EVEN LEGAL NOWADAYS!" Karane yelled. "HOMICIDE, SHE'D BE CHARGED WITH HOMICIDE!"

Shizuka began hiccuping several times, very loud, and clung onto him for his dear life.

Fight on, Rentarou! You are only left with 105 more to go...!

---

To be Continued.

---

Next: Someone Debuts Way Before her Intended Time!

 

[OverMaster]

Fate is the creation and intellectual property of Nasu Kinoko and Type Moon.

---

Fate Summer Night.

---

When Artoria Pendragon opened the front door, she saw a person in white and red armor standing on her Master's doorstep, their head hidden within a horned helmet, and with a white and red sword sheathed by their side.

"Father! I have come to challenge you to a duel!" this individual boasted loudly, voice echoing from inside the evil looking headpiece.

The short, green eyed blonde in the white blouse and long blue skirt blinked.

"Yes, it is me! Mordred, your legit son and heir!" the stranger yelled, while Saber felt a thin sheet of icy sweat cover her face, and she wiped it down with a hand. "I have come to claim my birthright! I clearly was fated to, as even death could not stop me from-!"

Saber closed the door on this person's face and turned around, applying her back onto the door and hiding her face in her hands, bitterly mumbling curses in ancient Welsh to herself.

The person at the other side banged loud and angrily on the door. "You realize that I can just blow this thing off its hinges with the greatest ease, don't you...?!"

"Saber, what is that?" Emiya Shirou's voice called from the kitchen. "Is someone here to kill me again?"

"No, they definitely came over for me," his Servant said, allowing a burst of mana run over her, changing her into her full blue battle dress, with the handle of Invisible Air tightly gripped in a metal gauntlet. "I am genuinely sorry for this..."

Shirou peeked out of the kitchen, after feeling the pull on his mana. "Saber, who is it? You look pale," he observed, walking closer in a white muscle shirt and blue jeans, wiping his hands dry with a cloth. "It's Archer, right? I doubt you'd react like that to an Assassin or Caster..."

"I am a Saber, actually!" Mordred's voice roared. "Father, who is that?! A man who would call himself your Master?!"

Artoria clenched her teeth. "Not here!" she barked. "Not where innocents can be harmed in a suburban environment!"

"I did say I just came to issue a challenge, not to duel you yet, didn't I?!" Mordred's voice demanded just as Shirou lifted the blinds of the window and looked outside curiously. Saber gave an angry hiss and yanked him back, shaking her head. "Give me credit for this much at least, I wouldn't settle for anything less than a Camlann for our decisive rematch!"

Artoria paused, frowning.

Shirou looked at her in a mixture of puzzlement and concern, then opened his mouth to say something. "I think-"

"Don't!" Saber growled, putting a hand on his mouth to silence him, and then turning back and angrily opening the door again. "How did you find me? I didn't even have any idea you existed again!"

"I will admit I had some help," the other Servant, for they had to be that, said, grabbing the helmet and pulling it off. Shirou gasped loudly. Because that act had just uncovered a gorgeous face, identical to Saber's but framed by slightly scruffier golden hair and a furious, sour expression. "But that matters not! Despite what my allies might want for, this is still a personal matter between you and me!"

"Ah!" Shirou said. "You are... a girl?!"

Artoria moved a fist back and hit him in the face with his armored back. Yelping in pain, the young man dropped on his back, curling up into a writhing ball and grasping at his features.

Mordred blinked. "Why did you do that?!"

"To spare him from your doing so, which would have been much more brutal," the King glacially told her.

"I only do that when they keep doing it! I always give people a stern fair warning first, do you really not remember that?!"

Artoria was silent for a few moments, and then gloomily scratched herself on a cheek. "You left us shortly after revealing your gender, and I wasn't paying much attention back then, so no, I did not..."

"Father," Mordred said, helping Shirou back up, "you are such an idiot."

"On second thought, let us do battle right here and now, after all!" the Lion of Camelot snarled, slamming the door closed after her son.

 

[OverMaster]

"Very well, start explaining yourself now," Artoria demanded while Mordred calmly ate from the plate of warmed leftovers Shirou had served her after apologizing for not having anything better at the time. It amazed him, actually, seeing someone with Saber's face not just leaving the plate clean in a couple of mouthfuls. It was even starting to scare him a little. "We have been patient, but if you don't start telling us why were you even summoned despite that being impossible, I will have to-"

"Truth is, I wasn't actually summoned here," Mordred said, chewing on a mouthful before swallowing it down. Well, at the very least, she did have some of Saber's table manners, Shirou thought. "You could say that... I come from outta town. I never was meant to fight in whatever War you have going on here."

Shirou grew worried. "You mean... that there's another Grail War happening elsewhere? Why weren't we ever told about this?"

Mordred threw her hands up. "Look, mages are idiots and will keep doing idiotic things no matter how bad they've gone before, okay? You should know that since you're a mage and you look like an idiot yourself!"

"I'm not that much of a magus, I mean, an idiot, I mean-" Shirou growled and ran a hand down his face. "Oh, forget it!"

"Where is your Master, and why have they allowed you to come here if not to fight me directly?" Artoria asked suspiciously.

"My Master is a free range kind of guy and understands I need to make my own decisions like befits a king," Mordred smiled proudly, pushing the now empty plate towards Shirou. "Seconds!"

Oh, so she actually was Saber's daughter, or son, whatever. "Okay, okay," Shirou sighed, taking the plate and heading over to the kitchen for more leftovers to heat.

Artoria wasn't convinced just yet. "There cannot be a Grail War without a Holy Grail, and the only Holy Grail is the one attached to Mahora after Fuyuki's leylines burned."

"That you know of," Mordred pointed out.

Artoria frowned. "Explain yourself."

"It seems that after that mess ten years ago, some of those magical idiots took samples of the mess in Fuyuki City and somehow managed to fabricate a counterfeit Grail in Europe," Mordred said. "My Master was chosen to participate in that War, but he suspects foul play, so before we go there, we dropped by here so he could research on the Fuyuki situation, up close and personal."

"So it wasn't your decision to come to these grounds, actually," Artoria said evenly.

Mordred scowled. "Here as in this school? No, I've got to admit it. But after the Master gathered some info on the recent sightings of reckless brawlers across the area, I recognized your signs immediately."

"How so? I have been extremely careful not to be seen by anyone but my allies, who wouldn't speak to you, or my enemies, who wouldn't share information with you or anyone willingly."

"We looked into the police files, actually," Mordred deadpanned. "All those cheap crooks sent to jail after being captured by a mysterious vigilante calling herself Heroine X? You didn't even entertain the possibility one of us would be summoned here, did you?"

Saber mildly panicked, gesturing at her to be quiet while Shirou came back and served Mordred another plateful. "What was that you were just talking about?" he asked.

"Nothing," Mordred said, happily starting to dig in. "Anyway, after learning you were alive and kicking around this area, Master thought it'd be good to check the house of the Master of Saber in the last Grail War. What do you know, it actually paid off! I owe that bastard a dinner now, maybe you can help with that?" she asked, looking at Shirou.

Artoria sighed, feeling a sharp migraine coming in even though she wasn't the Saberface who should be afflicted by those. "I assume you will be leaving for that other Grail War shortly, then?"

Shirou blinked. "Where is that other Grail War? I mean, Grails don't just pop up anywhere like mushrooms, right? Someone had to-"

"It's gonna be in Europe, okay?! What do you care, worry about your own Grail, it's not like I care about yours!" Mordred scolded him, then nodded at her father. "Of course, I will have to duel you before that, unless you make a solemn promise of holding up alive until I have finished claiming my Grail. That would make it even better, making it a contest between two victors, we can even compare Grails and-"

"An European Holy Grail, seriously?!" Shiru gasped. "I mean, how convoluted can this thing get?!"

"Don't repeat what I've just said! This isn't 2814!" Mordred looked angrily at him, and then shrugged. "Franchising, everything nowadays has to be about franchising..."

"Shirou, call Rin," Artoria said, extremely serious. "She will want to hear about this."