OverMaster's Little Crummy Corner of Sub-Par Writing

[OverMaster]

My Love.

When Ranma saw his daughter again, he hugged her tightly, in a way that would have actually hurt her before her Ala Alba training, and wept on her for several moments.

It was the first time Haruna had ever seen Dad crying. He hadn't cried, at least not before anyone else, when Granny Nodoka died, although she once saw him coming out of a room with redenned eyes.

Haruna asked him, "Why?"

He had taken the briefest of moments to check out there was nobody else close enough, and put his hands on her shoulders. "You know how your grandfather is. And your mother. And your aunts. And even your grandmother, well... she would let me go for years, she would put an oath over me, under the right circumstances. I know a lot of people have loved me, in their own ways."

"But when you were born, and I first held you in my arms, I realized that you were the first person who would ever love me with no conditions. Who would forgive me no matter what I ever could do. Just because of who I was, not because of what I did, or because of what I was supposed to be for their standards."

"I knew it, as soon as you looked into my eyes."

Haruna blinked, and then broke bawling onto his chest like a child.

 

[OverMaster]

"Can you please hurry up?!" Natsumi urged, tugging on the colorful curtains of the dressing booth. "I'm more and more worried about them now!"

She looked out the window of the small clothes store, seeing two armored female soldiers riding brooms fly past them. Another explosion resounded not terribly far from them.

"I'm sorry," Drake stepped out, securing the gas gun by his hip and adjusting his hat on. "Well, now I'm ready! Thank you, good man, and please remember, you didn't see anything of this." Smiling, he handed the dark skinned shopkeeper a few silver coins.

"Sure thing. I did not," the man said apathetically. Massive street brawls were not all that uncommon an occurrence during festivals and tournaments and he'd grown numb to it all through the years.

Natsumi began following the now fully costumed and boyishly thrilled Darkwing Duck outside, when she paused by a pretty summer hat perched by the door. "Oh, I like this one!" she told the shopkeeper. "How much is it?"

"It's not on sale, it's my daughter's," the man deadpanned.

"Oh, I'm sorry! W-Well, please take care--"

"Three silver coins," the man deadpanned again.

Murakami blinked, reached quickly into her purse, paid her three pieces, grabbed the hat, and ran outside following Drake.

The man sighed and then looked at another of the dressers, where a second man was humming to himself behind the curtains. "Hey, are you finished already? I'm going to be closing just in case."

"Just a sec, please!" the man said happily, walking back out and extending a full bag at him. He still was wearing the same purple suit and fedora he'd brought in while entering, some time before the girl and her duck friend had stormed in, rushing for a a fast change for him. "I'm taking these, they'll make for nice souvenirs when I get back home! I'm from Vetus, you know? We arrived shortly ago, in search of some old friends. Well, not so old, actually..."

"Vetus? I could tell," the uninterested man said, revising the clothes one by one. "Twenty silver pieces."

"Hey, old man," a short, albino boy with longish spiky silver hair grunted, entered the business house. "I've just located the third and sixth units. Are you coming or not?"

"Yes, yes, of course, what's your hurry? It's obvious that your siblings are busy right now anyway," the white faced man said, looking through his traveling bag, which had several smiley buttons pinned to it. "Do you accept plastic, my good fellow? It seems I left most of my money in my ship."

"Only good local money. No Vetus trash here," the shopkeeper said. "How do you even plan going back anyway? All of the Gates were destroyed, after all."

"Oh, we have our ways!" the other man said happily, pulling a handgun with a very long barrel out of his bag. The shopkeeper shrunk back in fear, recognizing the foreign object for what it was. "For instance, it's no problem if we can't pay with plastic, we also can repay your fine products and business kindness with lead...!"

The next few explosions a couple of blocks ahead drowned the thunder of two loud shots, and the high pitched cackle of a maniacal laugh.

 

[OverMaster]

The Secret Origin of Unequally Clark Kent's Secret.

"Here," the thankful mage told the young man who had rescued him. "You can have these for free."

Clark looked at the set of glasses in his hands. "Thank you. May I ask if they have some special property I should know about?"

The bearded man smiled. "Oh, do they! From where I come, they simply call them Disguise Glasses..."

There, that's your explanation. Literally, A Mage Did It.

An old chestnut, I know, but better than nothing, right?

 

[OverMaster]

When Asuna came back to her senses, she found herself standing alone at the end of a narrow, filthy alley, holding her Ensis Exorcizans in sword form in a hand.

"Eh? Where am I?" she asked herself. "What am I doing here? And where's Homura?"

Slowly, she remembered. "Ohh, of course! I must have scared her away! Man, I'm awesome!"

She heard several screams coming from the vicinity of the old house and began running back there. "Wait for me, Chisame! I'll be there right now!" the girl shouted.

Standing above her on a rooftop, with another, unconscious Asuna slung over a shoulder, Homura watched her go, then put a Pactio card to her own forehead. "My Lady? It is done. Shiori came through, just like you said. Now all it remains is securing the secondary objective."

There was a pause as she listened psychically.

"What do you mean you are busy and cannot attend to that right now?"

 

[OverMaster]

A preview.

---

The Valkyrie took her helmet off, and long red hair flowed free in all directions, framing a smiling tanned face. "Collet, don't worry, it's me!" this person said happily. "It's all right, I'm here to help you!"

"Kirche!" Collet gasped. "It's you...!" After a moment of doubt she threw herself into the now open arms of the taller girl. "Oh, Kirche, I've missed you all so much...!"

Kirche laughed and patted Collet's back softly. "Right, right, don't start flattering yourself now! I didn't even know you'd be here, I happened to be stationed here for the festivities! Let's move on now. Those your friends?" she asked, pointing up at the massive whaleship currently attacked from all sides.

Collet gulped. "They... They are Yue's friends, I suppose..."

"Good enough for me!" the redhead said, pulling Collet up onto the broom with herself, Jean-Luc jumping into the arms of his master. "Let's take you with them, then!"

"But Kirche!" Collet said. "You'll become an enemy of the state yourself...!"

Kirche made a clicking sound with her tongue as she gained height quickly. "Tsk! You only live once! I guess that there's something very romantic about becoming a fugitive for the sake of your friends..."

"No, that's just throwing your life away. I know because it's happened to me," Farandole said.

"Ah well," Kirche shrugged casually, coming ever closer to the Great Paru-sama. "Nobody learns from anyone's experiences but their own, I guess..."

 

[OverMaster]

OverMaster Writes for Every Franchise in Existence.

---

ALF.

Willie Tanner ran a hand down his face. "Oh my God," he said at last. "We can't let anyone see this…!"

"Can't we?" Lynn asked. "Dad, we can make a fortune by selling this thing!"

"No! No!" the head of the house said, pointing frantically at the small ship crashed in their garage. "They'll wipe us out to keep the secret! We'll be relocated to Iceland if we're lucky! But most likely, we—oh, no, no," he shook his head. "I'm going to dismantle it and bury the pieces…"

"But, but what are we gonna do about that?!" his wife pointed at the broken, bloodied still body, covered on fur, in the driver's seat.

After a few moments of stoic silence, Willie asked, "Kids, get out. Darling, bring me the chainsaw."

---

Kate sighed as she pushed the plate full of meaty bits before the family's pet. "I hope you like this, Lucky. Because you're going to be eating it all week long."

The cat sniffed at the chopped meat, then took its first bite.

As a matter of fact, he did like it a lot.

Somehow it tasted like vindication.

 

[OverMaster]

The battle had unfolded much faster than Jillas' eye could follow.

The fox-man sweated copiously under his reddish fur, lifting his muskets and aiming them nervously in the general direction of Fate, who had swatted Gray aside and was now at the middle of grabbing Kotaro by the head and smashing him vigorously, time after time, on the ground. All the while his face never showed a single emotion.

Juvia was shielding Yukino with her body, quickly studying her next course of action, and staring with anxiety as Gray as he pulled himself back up, groaning.

"Hey, you asshole!" Fullbuster screamed, rotating his arm and stomping towards him. "Let go of the kid!"

"Gladly," Tertium said, spinning around and tossing the stunned Kotaro on him. With a sharp cry, Juvia sensed her opportunity and flung herself ahead, her whole body turning into hard water and shedding her clothes. But as fast as she moved, Tertium's right hand was faster, and with a motion of his fingers, he stopped Juvia's charge in midair.

Yukino gaped in terror, seeing Juvia's own dilating. "My element is the earth," Tertium explained calmly, gesturing again and making Juvia's form stretch in all directions, making her scream. "But I also have practiced and studied, so I could control water, fire and ice as well..."

Gray jumped at him with a kick to his stomach. "Don't you dare-!"

Kotaro joined him immediately, and both boys began raining blows on the Averruncus together. The much shorter fighter, however, was effectively blocking them all with his forearms and fists, not looking tired at all even as the fight went on and on.

Jillas grinded his teeth. "C'mon, get outta the way..." he mumbled. "Gimme a clear shot!"

"It won't help," said Twilight Sparkle, whom Spike had just helped pull out from under some rubble.

Jillas looked back at her. "Say wha?"

"He calls himself Fate, and we briefly clashed with him in Ariadne," explained the unicorn. "We survived only because Lena transported us away in time."

"Then... Then what..." the humanoid mercenary babbled while Yukino crouched next to Juvia's splayed, nearly comatose form, forming a large puddle across the ground. Yukino took what she perceived as a hand and gripped it tightly, whispering an apology.

After punching Kotaro back and off himself, Fate grabbed Gray by the jacket, and immediately it began turning to stone. Quickly feeling what was going on, Gray swallowed and shook the jacket off, leaping back before the petrification effect could affect him. "You miserable...!"

Fate outstretched a hand towards him. "I don't need direct contact to neutralize you. Just as easily, I can-"

"No! Not to my friends!" Twilight said, galloping towards him and hitting him with an area effect net of magical pulses radiating from her glowing horn, before he could throw a barrier to protect himself. This sent him barreling back for a moment, but just as soon, he spun back to his feet, chopping Kotaro back just as the black haired boy tried to pounce on him, starting to turn into a wolfman.

Fate regarded her curiously. "Princess Celestia's disciple. We didn't wish for a declaration of war with her this soon, but since you forced my hand..."

"Eh?" Twilight blinked, and then backed away a bit, while his fingers made a circular motion directed at her. Half a dozen tiny rock darts appeared before him, and flew at her when he poked in her direction with her pointer finger.

They flew faster than even Gray could react from where he stood. The Fairy Tail mage had barely started to run at them when they already had almost reached their goal. Kotaro, who was slower now that he had achieved his full beast bulk, could not make it either. Yukino, Jillas, or the currently incapacitated Juvia would have had even less of a chance to intercept them.

But someone was closer to Twilight than any of them.

"TWI! LOOK OUT!"

There was a diminutive blur of purple motion. An instinctive leap up. Short clawed arms spread, the baby dragon shielded his friend.

One of the darts hit him between the eyes. He already was turned into stone when the second one bounced off his chest. The others flew erratically, thrown off course, and collided against walls without harming anyone.

"SPIKE!" Twilight screamed, horrified.

The small stone figure spun in the air for a moment, and then dropped to the floor and rolled until it stopped by Twilight's paralyzed hooves, thankfully still whole.

"You had a brave comrade," Tertium observed coolly, beginning to walk towards Twilight. "I'm willing to offer you another escape chance to honor his nobility. Run away, and I will not pursue you. Don't cause his sacrifice to be in vain."

Twilight's eyes filled up with tears. "Why... Why are you... WHY DID YOU HAVE TO DO THAT?!" she screamed as loud as possible, unleashing a massive blast of purple energy from her horn.

 

[OverMaster]

"Nanami-sama..." Tsuwabuki hiccuped groggily, giving a weak cough. "Nanami-sama..."

"I'm right here, you little idiot, wake up already!" Nanami said, pulling him up by an arm and finally plucking him from under the wreckage. "Can you stand?" she asked while making him stand regardless, and then she dusted him off quickly. "I suppose you can. Look, all those savages who broke in are entertained at the time, so we'd better leave while we still can..."

"Eh?" the blond boy blinked, then nodded quickly. "Oh, yes, oh yes, of course! Nanami-sama still can't use magic, so--"

"That has nothing to do with this!" Nanami said irritably, then reaching over to grab Rana by a hand. The small boy had been crouched aside examining something in the debris. "You're coming along too! I don't know where your mother went, but--"

The little boy looked back at her, blinking. "She dropped this," he said, holding a tiny statuette for Nanami to see.

Nanami frowned. "Who, your mother?"

"No, the girl dressed like a boy dropped it when she started punching the professor," Rana said innocently, handing her the object.

Nanami frowned, taking only a moment to study it. It was a detailed depiction of an eagle standing on a pedestal, with its wings spread. From each wing hung the scales of a balance. There was something in Latin characters written on the pedestal, but what, she had no--

"Aetosfragis," Tsuwabuki read aloud.

Nanami looked back at him with surprise. "You know Latin?!"

"Mirajane-san has been teaching me..." he admitted with a slight blush.

"When did that come to happen behind my back?!" Nanami protested.

"Is, is this the best moment to start discussing that, Nanami-sama?!" he took a step back, intimidated.

"I want my mom..." Rana said.

Nanami fumed at Tsuwabuki a few more times, then grabbed Rana by the hand again and began stomping away with him. "As if I cared! Let's go already, Skuld had the right idea slipping away as soon as this nonsense started!"

Since she had tossed the statuette behind herself, Tsuwabuki took a moment to pick it up and pocket it before following her briskly, just in case.

 

[OverMaster]

Enigmatic hooded figures roaming the streets of New Ostia were a common sight during festivities.

By now few paid any attention to them. Most were just runaways hiding from their families, or mere illegal immigrants trying to earn a living, or married individuals heading to and from extramarital affairs.

The average Ostian citizen saw little point of stopping any of these mysterious souls in broad daylight and questioning them or delivering them to the authorities, this was just not worth the bother, even when they were mumbling obsessively to themselves, like this one.

"When I see her, I'm so going to strangle her…"

The figure was short and slim, but also flat chested and spoke in an unmistakably feminine voice, so the usual local roughs and lowlives might have tried harassing her under average circumstances. But the vitriol evident from her muttering, plus the black aura of gloomy anger emanating from her person, kept bystanders away as she walked alone.

"Mother and Father would be too lenient…" the figure grumbled, a lock of golden hair slipping out a side of the hood. "What she needs is real discipline… and when I'm done with her, the best medical staff…"

Then she heard a loud explosion several blocks away, and the zoom of flying brooms passing by over her head.

"Street brawl!" a man shouted somewhere. "They're killing each other there!"

There was a strong blow of wind coming from that direction, and the young woman recognized the usage of elemental magic as it pulled the hood off her beautiful face, paling under her glasses.

Next, she heard a familiar sharp cry of "Negi!"

"Louise!" the woman said, suddenly turning from fury to an anguished declaration, and began running towards the chaos, pushing everyone in her way since they were running away from it.

 

[OverMaster]

OverMaster Writes for Every Franchise in Existence.

---

The 100 Girlfriends Who Really, Really, Really, Really, Really Love You.

"W-Wait, what have you just said, you idiot?!" Karane said, as the sixteen girlfriends rushed after him down the street.

"I'm going to meet my mother," Aijo Rentarou repeated, not looking back as not to show the unusually stern and rigid expression on his face.

"Have you gone insane?!" Karane said. "You already know your mother!"

"The woman I've introduced to you is my adoptive mother," Rentarou said. "My biological mother abandoned my father and me without even bothering to look at me in the clinic. She just left as soon as she could walk."

"How despicable!" Hahari gasped. "What kind of merciless monster could abandon a babe, I mean, a baby as cute as Rentarou-chan?!"

"That is what I'm going to find out," Rentarou said. "Father just told me she'd moved back into the city, and I'm going to see what sort of person is she. I'll ask her why she never wanted anything to do with me."

"But your mother, I mean, your other mom…" Iku said.

"She'll understand," Rentarou hoped aloud. "She knows that she always will be my real mother. But I have to know."

"I have a bad feeling about this," Kurumi confessed.

They stopped before a small house in the suburbs, and Rentarou rang the front door.

A tall, thin, stiff looking woman with glasses opened the door. She wore all black, in the style of an old fashioned schoolteacher, although she still looked fairly youthful, if mature and humorless. "Yes?" she asked. "Who are you, and what do you—"

Her eyes met Rentarou's.

Rentarou's eyes met hers.

A powerful burst of energy linked them right then, rattling them on their feet.

"I knew it," Kurumi said, looking at the top of the screen for Darkenning's name.

Hakari looked concerned. "Okay, now this is going too far even for our standards. Is Shueisha really going to let this fly by…?"

 

[chiufan95]

"The woman I've introduced to you is my adoptive mother," Rentarou said. "My biological mother abandoned my father and me without even bothering to look at me in the clinic. She just left as soon as she could walk."

Click to shrink...

Shouldn't it be stepmother?

 

[OverMaster]

"I hate musicians!" Chisame cried out as she was sent flying back by the force of a large explosion shattering the ground right before her. It would have been the ground she had been standing on at the moment of said explosion if not for Lena, who had pulled her and Webby out of the way right in time.

The girl who had introduced herself as Shirabe kept on playing her violin, never opening her eyes. As she did, she sent even more shockwaves from the instrument, blasting at the two duck girls and the lolified Earthling, each impact growing closer to them despite Lena's frantic attempts to move them away with her shadows.

"Adeat!" Chisame called out, summoning the sceptre to her hand and returning fire at Shirabe. The electric discharges were, much to Chisame's surprise, simply blown out as Shirabe's high pitched music somehow deployed a barrier around her, changing into a vivacious crescendo that seemed to be mocking them. "Any ideas?" she asked the ducks.

"I could transport ourselves away," Lena suggested, sending more shadows against the barrier only to have them bash at it without breaking through. "She's strong! I'm not sure we can take her down."

Webby squinted. "Doesn't look like she can attack and put on a defense at the same time. Let's wait until she has to drop her guard."

"We aren't leaving Negi, not right after I found him," Chisame seethed. "Lena, try sending some shadows behind her. Perhaps, from another angle- OH, COME ON!" she yelled, all three ducking after another compass of harmonic playing produced a slashing effect that flew right over them, actually managing to cut some of the end of her ponytail.

Shirabe smiled. "I see I chanced into the runts of the litter..."

Three street guards arrived, doubling around the closest corner. The first local enforcers to make presence at the site, they only wore light armor and swung swords. "Halt!" the moustached man at the lead shouted. "You are under arrest in the name of the Senate!"

"This is a private concert," Shirabe said, all tranquility, and played the violin in their direction, bombarding them with soundwaves that easily pummeled them into unconsciousness in no time. Just as soon, she turned back at Negi's allies, absently back kicking one of Lena's dark tendrils as it tried to sneak behind her like Chisame had proposed. "Although I must say that you make for a disappointing audience."

"Okay, that does it!" Lena told Chisame and Webby. "I'm going to-!"

But just as her shadows began tightening around them to teleport them out, Shirabe flash stepped towards her, still holding the violin with a hand but now grabbing her by the throat with the other. "LENA!" Webby cried out, even as her friend was slammed down on the dirt with great force and even greater ease. Lena's eyes went blank for a moment, and then she collapsed into unconsciousness as Shirabe let go of her, taking a split moment to fix her hair back. Webby stared at her with eyes that Chisame had never before seen in her, full of anger. "Why, you...!"

"She is too much of a liability for her to be allowed further as part of your team," Shirabe said. She ducked under Chisame's next, close quarters scepter shot, and then gave Webby a leg sweep just as Webby lunged onto her, growling ferociously. Webby tumbled and fell on her face, then Shirabe spun like a dancer, kicking Chisame in the face and sending her to the ground as well.

Shirabe stood over them, readying the violin again. "I have been training in actual combat far longer than any of you. Just close your eyes. I promise this will not-"

And then she tensed, as she felt a large projectile flying towards her from another direction. Taking aim with the violin, she played a screeching dissonance, which made a gigantic boulder tossed at her explode into a thick cloud of dust right before it could hit her.

Shirabe coughed, blinded by the dust. Why was she blinked now when she'd been keeping her eyes closed the whole time will be left as a mental exercise for the reader. "Who are you?!" she demanded. "What manner of crude-"

Then something huge and muscular, much bigger than anyone described in the list of known allies of Springfield, leapt on her from that very same direction. Gigantic hands finished in pointy claws slashed at her, forcing Shirabe to shield herself with the violin itself. "I repeat, who-?!" she gasped, finally opening her beautiful eyes and taking a good look at a large, wide evil grin full of sharp fangs extremely close to her nose, chomping towards it.

Chisame swallowed hard, also getting a look at this newcomer from her own angle. "N-No! It can't be...!" she shuddered, recognizing the titanic frame covered on green scales, and only wearing old, worn jeans. "But, that means...!"

"You... You know that thing?" Webby asked, trying to pat Lena's cheeks to revive her.

"We... We met him in Kyoto..." Chisame paled, gaining a few shades of pale that concerned the ever carefree Vanderquack. She was staring in a fixed way at the reptilian behemoth, now pummeling on Shirabe with his fists, sporting no concern for her gender or age. "I, I never expected to see him again...!"

"UNHAND ME!" Shirabe yelled indignantly, playing the violin again, and a huge boom sent her attacker flying back, zooming across the street and crash landing on a tree. She straightened herself, seething and sporting slash marks all over her face. "How dare you, you beast...!"

"RUN AWAY!" Chisame warned her, surprising Webby. "DON'T ASK, JUST RUN!"

Shirabe closed her eyes once more, and turned her head towards them. "Seriously, Hasegawa?" she asked icily. "Is this brute ally of yours cause for me to fear you? Look at him; he isn't even moving anymore."

"I haven't... died yet..." Killer Croc gurgled groggily from the tree he'd been smashed into.

"HE'S NOT WITH US, IDIOT!" Chisame panicked. "I'M NOT TRYING TO TRICK YOU! JUST ESCAPE FOR YOUR LIFE!"

Shirabe chuckled, starting to play again, a soft, teasing melody as she walked back towards them. "No, I'm sorry. It won't work. I'm afraid the curtains must fall for you now. For you will see, I- Who is that now, singing off key?!" she complained. "That doesn't match the tune!"

Webby paid attention, and indeed, now she could hear a happy, low voice singing from somewhere close, but not following Shirabe's musical cue. It was a jaunty, triumphal fanfare that was growing by the moment, until she could make the words out.

"Here I come to save the day..."

Webby felt Chisame's hand gripping hers tightly. It had grown cold as ice suddenly, and her eyes were nailed up the street. Webby followed her gaze, and saw nothing but a man in a long purple overcoat, tapping on the ground with a cane as he sang mockingly, his wide brimmed hat obscuring his face.

"Thank goodness Mighty Mouse is on his way. So let the trumpet players play. For Mighty Mouse is here today!"

Shirabe frowned at this intruder. "Who are you supposed to be, some sort of vagrant? This is not-"

And then, like living lightning bolting out from behind the man, a living projectile of sorts flew towards her. Shirabe blinked, thinking she recognized Lord Fate's face in this new incoming attacker, but this consideration took her all of a middle second as then she was knocked out in a single brutal blow, her Artifact dropping off her limp hands.

The man skipped closer, clicking his heels together with merriment in his voice. Webby's feathers stood on point, as now she felt the same odd dread Chisame was experiencing. This man was... actually not that bad a singer, but...

"Here he comes, that Mighty Mouse, just like a bolt from the blue," the stranger sang as the albino boy with him snorted, shaking Shirabe a bit before just dropping her with disinterest. "With a heart that's true. Fighting evil, fighting crime. And always there in the nick of time!"

Then he flashed that smile, that humongous smile full of yellowed teeth like oh-so-many crooked piano keys, and Webby knew it. The creature from Mundus Vetus from all those stories you traded around pajama parties in Ariadne. No wonder Chisame was terrified. Even Mr. Mc Duck had, once, manifested severe discomfort when someone had told him on the topic.

There are some men whose infamy could be spread from one world to another. And this one was actually shorter and smaller than Webby had imagined him, and he didn't have horns or stunk of sulphure like Montmorency had said, but the grin, the demented, murderous grin that Tsukuyomi at her worst couldn't start to match, even surpassed Webby's guesses from all these years, by a wide margin.

"Ah..." was all she could say.

The thing winked at her. "Here he comes to save the day! And he will prove that crime will never pay! So let the trumpet players play. For Mighty Mouse is here today!"

He began to laugh.

Chisame grabbed Webby and Lena and began to run.

 

[OverMaster]

Mahora:

"How do you do it?" asked the deep, intense voice from behind Takamichi T. Takahata as he shaved in his bathroom.

Takahata barely flinched, despite the fact, under any other circumstances, he would have immediately leapt back to neutralize the person who had been good enough to sneak up on him. He couldn't count more than six people that he knew were still alive whom he'd ever met and could fit that requirement, and that voice certainly fit one of them. So he also knew spinning back and reacting would have been useless, even if he hadn't been sure the Batman was on his side no matter what. He knew he was stronger, faster and more skilled than the Batman, and yet he also knew he'd end up defeated regardless.

"What do you mean?" Takahata quietly asked back.

"You shave everyday," the Batman said, "so how do you always manage to keep a perfect two-day shade?"

"How do you know I - on second thought, never mind, I don't want to know," Takamichi decided, putting his razor down and washing his face. "I assume you didn't cross the Pacific just to ask me that. Let me guess. You are here to pay your respects for Negi-kun."

"No. I'm here to recruit you so we can go look for him and bring him back," the tall, muscular figure wrapped in the long black cape said tersely. "The future of two worlds could depend on it."

"Yes, yes, I suppose there is a good chance they might be alive. That's my hope, at least," the weary teacher said, as he rubbed his face dry with a towel. "But there's no way of telling, with all of the communications and ways to access Mundus Magicus cut off. Unless you have found one? I doubt it. Magic isn't your field of expertise."

"It wasn't me who found out, actually," the masked manhunter said.

At this point, a shorter and slimmer figure wrapped stepped out from behind him, in a white cape, elegantly holding a staff in a hand, a top hat perched on their head. A dandy domino mask covered this person's features, and black rose petals floated down around them, gently moved along by a random breeze briefly blowing through Takahata's bathroom.

"Ah, Nekane-kun," the shirtless man said calmly, turning around to face them at last. "Of course. You were there when it happened, weren't you?"

"I was blown back the opposite way, towards Earth, Professor," the Black Rose Baron said on a low voice, for once not bothering with greetings or introductions. Her tone was exhausted, melancholic, and she wasn't even trying to disguise her voice."If I survived that explosion, so did they. I'm certain of that."

"Yes, that's a strong possibility, and I pray for that every night," her uncle's comrade repeated the same core idea from before, patiently. "But you couldn't say for sure either. Springfield or not, you don't have the means to know…"

"Aaaakshually…" an annoying, randomly pitched voice said, "I do! I have friends everywhere, yanno! Well, I wouldn't call most of them friends, tbh. Most of them are Sunday night poker pals, or mortal enemies I squeeze info from at gunpoint, or better-than-thou assholes I pester 'til they tell me what I want to know! But, same difference!"

A third masked individual had just stepped into the now crammed small bathroom. He wore a mask that concealed the whole of his face, a red and black skintight suit from head to toe, and enough pouches, holsters and belts all over to carry enough weaponry, blades, knives, daggers, grenades and guns alike, to massacre a small Central American country, unless they were backed by the CIA or something. "You were expecting for a Man of Steel fighting the Never Ending Battle, a last Master of Chaldea, or a giant dog with a fork on his forehead? Too bad! It's me, Deadpool! Returning Merc with a Mouth! The Keys of the Kingdom and that chapter of What Makes Us Human don't count! Boy, is this continuity confusing!"

Takahata looked at him in a cold silence for a few moments, and then raised an eyebrow at Batman.

"Doctor Strange. He can transport us there with a spell," the Dark Knight growled. "Call someone you can trust for a mission of this caliber and then let's get going. There's no time to waste."

Takahata sighed and pulled a cellphone out of a pocket of his pants. He accessed a number in quick dial. "Hello? Tatsumiya-kun? I won that bet. The bastard's here, and he wants to see if you can come along…"

"I think he means you, I'm the motherfucker," Deadpool told Batman. "What is the story between the two of you anyway?"

"Wade, please," Nekane requested from between clenched teeth.

 

[OverMaster]

OverMaster Writes for Every Franchise in Existence.

---

Danganronpa.

I took both hands to my hair and whimpered. "I can't do it!" I said. "I admit defeat! I can't think of anything to say about this franchise! It's all so despairing…!"

Junko smiled beautifully and put a hand on my scalp. "Good boy," she told me. "You've passed the test."

 

[Akuma-Heika]

Man of Steel fighting the Never Ending Battle, a last Master of Chaldea, or a giant dog with a fork on his forehead?

Click to shrink...

Who is the dog, and does the Never Ending Battle mean something specific?

 

[OverMaster]

The Never Ending Battle is one of Superman's slogans, refering to his mission.

The dog is Lockjaw of the Inhumans, who had figured in a previous draft for this stage of Unequally.

 

[OverMaster]

The Prince and the Paupers.

Keiichi found Rito sitting by an edge of the Great Paru-sama's deck, legs dangling down as he stared into the distance.

The older boy approached him. "What's wrong?"

"He's a prince. He's a prince, on top of everything else," Rito said, recalling Rakan's movie. "Of course he would be a prince, too..."

"You are a prince as well, since you're going to marry Lala-san," Keiichi pointed.

Rito ran a hand down his face. "I'm not going to marry Lala! I... I..." he sighed and shook his head. "It's not the same thing anyway. He was born special. I just lucked into things, and most of that was just from being close to him in the first place."

"Dude, it's not like he's ever going to rule over anything, unlike you. His mother's country is a republic now and everyone hates her. If anything that's only going to make the poor kid feel worse."

"I know..." Rito sulked.

Morisato sat down next to him. "Haruna-san's not going to like you any less, or him any more, because of this."

"I know that, too..."

"Then you should convince yourself about it, already."

"That's easy for you to say... Don't make me say why..."

There was a long shared silence between them, and then Keiichi said, "I guess... If Sku-chan liked him that much, I suppose I'd feel differently."

"... no. No, you wouldn't. Sorry, it was a dick move from me to imply otherwise," Rito said. "You're a much better man than me."

Keiichi smiled and squeezed his shoulder. "If this makes you feel any better, you make a better girl than me, though."

"I'm going to pretend I didn't hear that so I don't have to throw you overboard, Senpai..."

 

[OverMaster]

"Negi!" Louise repeated her earlier scream, scrambling over to the scene as her Familiar/Magister and Sextum, oblivious to her cries, moved their fight towards the river, constantly zooming back and forth and punching each other so strongly that their punches connecting would sound like discharges of artillery. "Negi, don't! You'll get yourself killed!"

Then she felt a strong, although small, hand on her head, pushing her down. "Stay here, Pink Flea-han," a familiar by now voice hissed, and Louise looked up to see it was Tsukuyomi who had just shoved her down, grinning while looking at the colliding streaks of the other two fighters. "Fu fu fu, no matter the winner, I will be victorious..."

"You... You psycho!" Louise yelled at her. "You had an arrangement! You promised to defend him!"

"That's what I mean," Tsukuyomi ran her tongue over her lips, her eyes once again becoming two reddish speckles in black sclerae. "Either we will commit our first murder together or I'll avenge his death. How romantic!" she cooed darkly, and then she sprinted ahead, after them, leaving a small sonic boom and a trail of dust after herself.

Louise looked at her also rapidly retreating back, and then seethed furiously, smashing her fists on the pavement. "This is so unfair! Nothing has changed! I'm still useless!"

"Oh, isn't that sad, my dear? What a pity..." said a condescending female voice from behind her.

Startled, Louise spun around and saw a tall, shapely woman in an extremely tight pink minidress accentuating her every buxom curve. She had pink eyes, small pink heart shaped marks on her cheeks, long bubblegum pink hair, and two tall pink bunny ears sprouting from it. "Wh-Who in the world are you...?" Louise sputtered, pulling her magic wand out.

The woman smiled and bowed. "I'm Melona. So you are another of Negi Springfield's girlfriends, aren't you?"

"I, I, I'm not his-!"

"I thought so," Melona said, agitating an arm as it shifted around like so much pink goo, and then it solidified again in the shape of a gigantic axe. Lousie stifled a yelp of terror. Melona's smile turned into a psychotic grin. "Negi Springfield separated me from my beloved daughters, back in the Old World. Because of him, they were locked and taken away from me. Now I'm going to take those he cares about away from them in fair payback. That is perfectly reasonable coming from a wounded mother, don't you think?"

Louise gulped, extending the wand ahead. "I, I'm warning you, most of his friends would probably throw a party if I were gone...!"

"As long as he suffers, you'll be a good start regardless," the slime woman said, and jumped towards her.

 

[OverMaster]

OverMaster Writes for Every Franchise in Existence.

---

Rambo.

The mercenaries surrounded the elder war horse. "Bwa ha ha ha!" their leader laughed. "Tough luck, Americano! Yer too old to keep on fighting!"

"We'll see 'bout dat…" the gray man mumbled almost unintelligibly, and then poured a pail of cold water on himself. Instantly, he was turned into an ebony Amazon with twin machineguns a-blazing. "IT'S TIME F'R PAYBAAAACK!" she yelled as she started shooting.

"YAAAAAAHHHHH!" the men cried.

Retiring to the lost valleys of China, war veteran John Rambo thought he had found peace at last! But a twist of fate made him fall into the Spring of the Drowned Afro-American Female Gunslinger! Now, when splashed with cold water, he becomes the death dealing living machine of mayhem…

Rambo ½!

---

The movie executives sitting around the large table stared on, open mouthed.

The younger man in the electric blue suit grinned. "What do you say? We can keep Stallone starring AND we get our mandated diversity quota!"

The President of the Studio rose from his chair. "Brilliant! The pitch's approved!"

 

[OverMaster]

OverMaster Writes for Every Franchise in Existence.

---

The Never Ending Story.

- and so, The Nothing won, and extended itself absolutely everywhere.

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

Sooooo, moving on to the next segment...

 

[OverMaster]

OverMaster Writes for Every Franchise in Existence.

---

Cowboy Bebop.

"Is this him?" the sargeant asked, pulling the sheet off his body.

Jet Black looked down for several moments. "Yes," he said after them.

The sargeant pushed the sheet back on. "I'm sorry. I understand you were friends?"

"Crewmates," Jet said, sparsely. "Goodbye, Spike."

Faye was still waiting outside, subtly wringling her hands and struggling not to pull a cigarette out under the scowl of the receptionist. "It's him?" she asked Jet.

The big man nodded. "Yeah."

"Is he... Was he left in a bad shape?"

"Not at all," Jet sighed, pulling his coat and hat back on. "As a matter of fact... he is smiling. But you still should remember him as he was."

Faye nodded and walked outside with him.

Jet paused only for a second, looking up for a star that wasn't there.

See you Around, Space Cowboy.

 

[OverMaster]

OverMaster Writes for Every Franchise in Existence.

---

Terminator.

"I was thinking…" one of the scientists working literally underground told his partner.

"Yes?" the partner said while adjusting another piece of the newest time machine.

"Every time we send a traveler, they must go naked because only organic matter can be transported. But Skynet sends its Terminators the entire time just fine! So why don't we—"

The partner sighed. "You know well that it is because—"

"Yes, yes, their materials, I know! But why don't we take one of the Terminators in disguise we've nabbed, peel their techno-organic skin off, and find a way to fashion armor for our people from it?"

"That'd be too conspicuous in the past, and—"

"But we SHOULD be able to fashion them in a way that appears natural!" the first man insisted. "Just think of the possibilities! We might—"

The second scientist pulled a gun out and blew his partner's brains out.

Then the infiltrator stared down at the corpse. "The Core Processor is not going to lose any advantage."

 

[OverMaster]

OverMaster Writes for Every Franchise in Existence.

---

Les Schtroumpfs.

For an all too long time, we thought them extinct. No, more than that; for centuries, we didn't even believe they could be real.

Fabrications designed to sell merchandise, no doubt. Fictions. Foolish dreams for very little and slow children. We thought them lame, weak and overall inferior to more dignified fantasy types like dwarves and elves.

Two months ago, all of that changed. Without any warning, the world bore witness to their return. And it happened in such a simple, yet undeniable fashion…

"Hello, I'm Youtuber Smurf," the little face said, appearing in our screens. "I'd like you to Smurf this channel and leave your Smurfs and comments below…!"

Unfortunately, all he does in those damn meme videos is shaking his blue tail and singing off-key, so maybe they should have stayed extinct.

 

[OverMaster]

OverMaster Writes for Every Franchise in Existence.

---

Peanuts.

One day, Snoopy just straight out disappeared without a trace or reason.

Snoopy was my dog. I don't even remember how I first got him... I'm certain he was a gift from a relative, but I can't remember which one, or exactly when. That doesn't really matter anymore. Snoopy was already old by the time of his disappearance, and as eccentric as ever.

I never learned what became of him. We looked everywhere, for weeks, we put announcements since this wasn't the first time he'd run away, and yet we never found a body, a paw print, a sighting, nothing.

That's for the best, I think. I don't know what I'd have done if we'd found Snoopy's body. Or if I had ever seen him die from old age or illness. Back then... it may sound stupid, but it looked like Snoopy could never die. There was something special and even magical about him, even if we all overlooked it the whole time.

Our childhoods started dying when Snoopy vanished. But that's for the best too. Everyone's gotta grow.

The little yellow birds still nestle around his old doghouse. Every once in a while, I like to imagine they chirp about him as they fly across the yard. I know Snoopy can't be alive anywhere, not anymore, but in my heart, he still does. He outgrew us rather than having us outgrow him. In the end, of course he'd have the last laugh on us.

When I bought a puppy for our son, I made sure it would be as different from Snoopy as possible. My wife, naturally, commented on this quickly.

"Seriously, Chuck? I thought you'd have picked a beagle."

I shook my head as I watched them play. "No dog can be like Snoopy. It's pointless to even try and pretend."

"True enough," she admitted, smiling and shrugging her shoulders.

And, needless to be said, I'm also glad Junior isn't the same boy I was, either.

Even if things ended up working out.

Somewhere in the fields of the unknown, of the wonder that we only can guess at in life, the Sopwith Camel soars over us.

 

[OverMaster]

OverMaster Writes for Every Franchise in Existence.

---

Looney Tunes.

With a big smile on his beak, the Road Runner waited by the huge boulder at the bottom of the abyss.

And he waited.

And waited.

And waited.

Eventually he lost the smile, and his expression turned nervous.

"Coyote...?" he asked meekly.

There was no answer but the silence of the desert.

Road Runner flew into panic.

"Oh my God, I've killed him! What have I done?! Coyote, answer me! Oh God, no no! I never even told him how important he was to me...!"

---

"... boy, dat's fucked up," Tweety commented over the drinking bar. "What didja do then?"

Road Runner shrugged. "What else could I do? I called the police, there was an inquiry, I was found innocent and I moved on. You're just lucky that yours has nine lives..."

 

[OverMaster]

OverMaster Writes for Every Franchise in Existence.

---

Vampire Princess Miyu.

Miyu Edelfelt nodded, and squeezed Mina Tepes' small hand. "Yes, you heard me well, Illya-chan," she told her longtime partner. "I'm sorry, but I can't return your feelings. I'll marry Mina-chan instead..."

"NOOOOOOOOOOO!" Illya screamed.

In the end, Illya married Vera instead, and Shirou married Akira.

"I think," Mimi lectured, "that girls should love girls, and boys should love boys!"

 

[OverMaster]

OverMaster Writes for Every Franchise in Existence.

---

Foster's Home for Imaginary Friends.

"I am Satan!" the humongous, horned, red skinned abomination bellowed. "Lord of Lies and Deception! Emperor of Flies and Depravity! Probably based after the actual Satan! Who cares?! I used to tell Cindy to kill her parents, burn her neighborhood, and steal cars!"

Frankie paused, stunned. "I see...!" she said eventually. "W-Well, we're going to assign you a room with Bloo, surely he won't mind...!"

---

I Dream of Jeannie.

My first love, Master?

Oh, that's an indiscreet question to ask a young lady, but since you are my Master, I suppose you have every right to know. For a long while, I went on without really loving anyone. My heart doesn't just go to anyone, you know that.

Back when I was a child, all of us roamed free across the world, to have our fun as we wished, fearing only the stern name of Allah, praised be He. I suppose that some of us may have taken things a bit too far. I don't know. I never cared too much about others' mischief. I'm that innocent, as you know as well, Master. I'm always thinking the best out of everyone.

That's why I thought the best about the King, too. His fame preceded him, and he was known as noble, even if a ladykiller. And what a ladykiller! Those deep eyes, so unfit a human, ahem, not that they were any better than yours, Master. I knew he had hundreds of wives and thousands of concubines, but what can I say? I thought I'd become The One. I was that deeply in love with him.

He talked me over, with sweet words and pleasant stories, and I was his in heart—but not in body, oh Master, please don't look at me like that—since he had no interest on my body. As he proved when, after seducing me and lowering my guard, he produced this bottle and bound me to it.

Later, I learned that I wasn't even special to him. He captured all of us, our whole race, and I was just another one. That's how much my first love meant to him.

But that's fine. I don't hold any grudges against him.

After all, if I hadn't been put in that bottle, you wouldn't have ever found it, Master. And we wouldn't be together today.

I like to think that, somehow, he knew that the whole time.

He was wise, after all.

 

[OverMaster]

OverMaster Writes for Every Franchise in Existence.

---

Carnival Phantasm.

"Miyu," Luvia said, her arms folded as the helicopter flew over the woods. "You cannot hope to achieve anything if you don't put your imagination into it. Don't Think, Imagine. Magical Girls draw their power from the mind and self-suggestion."

"But even so, Mistress!" Sapphire said. "No matter how you put it, Miyu's not ready yet for this...!"

"Nonsense, if Illya could, so can she!" Luvia declared. "Miyu is a prodigy forged by a much better teacher than Tohsaka Rin, so she can do it if she puts her mind into it!"

Miyu looked down. "... no. Sorry, but I will not do it. All rules of logic and probability dictate that--"

Luvia punted her in the butt and off the vehicle.

"Eeeeeeeeeeeee!"

"Miyu...!" Luvia called down. "You'll thank me later! To prove her love, the lioness drops her cubs off cliffs, so they become strong and able! I have faith in you, Miyu! Fly! Any moment now, you'll fly...!"

SPLAT!

Luvia winced. "Oh, oh, my...!"

---

"BWAAAAAAAAA!" Illya bawled, hugging the closed casket. "Miyu-chan...!"

Rin sighed stoically, sitting by and reading the newspaper with the headline EDELFELT HEIRESS ARRESTED. "That is why you should be thankful to me. I only would push you from a rooftop, at worst you'd break a leg..." Then she began to giggle to herself. "Oh, yeah, so much prison rape for you, bitch...!"

From the next chair, Shirou frowned and slapped the back of her head.

"Who is that, though?" Leysritt looked at the much bigger coffin.

"Some man in blue tights and carrying a spear who was passing by at the time," Sella sighed. "He died instantly upon impact..."

 

[OverMaster]

OverMaster Writes for Every Franchise in Existence.

---

Slylock Fox.

During the grand gala of Mrs. Bullmoose, her priceless blue diamond was stolen from her safe.

Mrs. Bullmoose accuses Cassandra Cat, who was in the party, of stealing the diamond, but Cassandra says that at no point she ever approached Mrs. Bullmoose's safe. What key piece of evidence in the crime scene makes Slylock Fox and Max the Mouse believe Cassandra is lying?

Oh, wait. This is a strictly text piece. So you can't see the clue. Huh. Looks like Cassandra will escape with the jewel then. What a pity.

Eh. Mrs. Bullmoose had it coming for inviting her in the first place.

 

[OverMaster]

OverMaster Writes for Every Franchise in Existence.

---

Joker.

"You get what you fucking deserve!" Arthur shouted, and shot at Murray's face...

Only for Murray to flinch, then realize the gun had just shot a fine spray of confetti all over him.

After several moments of confused, horrified silence, the audience and Doctor Ruth began laughing nervously.

Arthur stood up and began bowing for the cameras.

He still spent a few months in prison afterwards, but the incident made him famous as an extreme performance artist.

The Batman spent most of his career with The Penguin as his arch nemesis, which is kind of sad when you think about it.