OverMaster's Little Crummy Corner of Sub-Par Writing

The Truth.

"Chisame," he said at last.

"Hmmm?"

He cleared his throat. "When I first arrived to Mahora... after I learned your secret, and you learned mine, I made a promise to myself. I saw that you were deserving of happiness, and I swore that I'd make you happy."

"Seriously?" she asked, not looking at him.

He nodded. "Mmm-hmmm. So much has happened since, both good and bad, that I need to know. Chisame, please tell me. Are you happy?"

"I'm with you," she said.

"What... What is that supposed to mean?"

"Take it as you will." She shrugged her shoulders.

Negi lowered his gaze and said nothing.

Then he felt himself being hugged tightly, in silence.

He smiled, and hugged Chisame back.

 

Fowl Association.

"Unca Scrooge, what's this?" Donald asked, picking up a finely ornated envelope from the desk.

Scrooge looked away from his computer. "Hm? Oh, it's just another invitation from the Hellduck Club."

"What's that?"

Scrooge sighed. "One of America's secret clubs for the financial and political elites. Have you ever watched Hawkeyes Wide Shut? Well, that's tame stuff compared to this. Rockerduck and Beaks among others are part of it. It's a decadent society entertaining themselves with all manners of depraved filthy rituals and ceremonies, just for fun and self gratification. From what I hear, your feathers would stand up if I went into details! They've tried to get Glomgold and me to join for decades, but we want no part of it."

"Wow, my estimation of you just shot up!" Donald said. "Good thing that you wouldn't want to have anything to do with--" Then, he frowned in realization. "It's just that the membership fees are too high. Isn't it?"

Scrooge smiled. "In return, my estimation of your intelligence has gone up as well..."

 

Tsukuyomi stared on blankly for several moments and then began laughing again, slapping her knee. "Omigosh! Omigosh, this is just too much! She accepted! The doll accepted!"

Collet blinked, a corner of her mouth twitching slightly. "Can you... Can you even actually marry an automaton, Professor Negi?"

"Who's talking about automatons, we're talking about Karakuri-san!" Haruka protested. "This, this isn't about tyrannical regimes!"

"Those... Those are autocracies, Haruka-chan," Yukino said meekly. "Are you sure you feel okay, Negi-sensei? You're a bit pale, and this isn't like you..."

"That... That is it!" Chisame cried, breaking through the thick layers of ice now encasing her. Tsukuyomi swatted some coming her way with a hand. "You're being mind controlled by Sextum or someone, aren't you, stupid weak willed brat?!"

"I'm in complete posession of my mind and faculties, Chisame," Negi said, taking Chachamaru's hand on his and squeezing it tenderly, making the gynoid smile. "Thank you so very much, Chachamaru. My support means the world to me. I'll make sure not to--"

"N-No, wait!" Yue waved her hands, almost desperately, before herself. "What-what about Iinchou, and Kasuga-san, and Kakizaki-san?!"

"And Murakami," Skuld said with a frown. "If you're suddenly aware enough to believe you can tackle the issue of multiple marriage, you also must be aware they all have feelings for you! What are you going to do, ask them in marriage as well?"

Negi breathed in deeply, squeezing Chachamaru's hand a bit tighter.

"Oh fuck no," Chisame wheezed out, aghast. "You are! I can't believe you, you two-timer degenerate! Did I say two-timer? Two is too low a number! I can't freaking believe you'd do this to--"

"I accept!" Tsukuyomi said feistily, slapping her hand on Negi's shoulder.

"Aaaaahhhh!" Yue said, losing all remaining shreds of composure. "No, you won't, you horrible killer thing, you!"

"Yue," Negi said softly, "that is just negative reinforcement, if we keep on viewing her as an antisocial harmful person she'll see no reason to change her behavior for the better. She already has made progress since she joined us, she hasn't harmed anyone ever since..."

"You are going to marry Setsuna-neesama as well, aren't you?" Tsukuyomi asked him.

"She's just using you to try and get into Sakurazaki's pants, haven't you just listened to her?!" Chisame made the hardest facepalm of her life. "You don't even know how a marriage works, do you?!"

"That's not true, I was only asking for the sake of clarity," Tsukuyomi said. "I'm bisexual, or rather Strong Warrior with a Potential Dark Edge-sexual, so I'd marry Negi-han regardless, and he does owe me a heir to my style. Even if he doesn't marry Oneesama, I'm perfectly willing to get her as my lover myself, regardless..."

Chisame stared at her through the fingers still covering her face. "Chopping all of her limbs off and keeping her in a box doesn't count as 'getting her as a lover', I think!" she growled.

Tsukuyomi huffed. "What do you know about love and its mores? Hater! You're a hater!"

"I'm not a-- Oooohhhh, forget it!"

Negi sighed. "I hadn't expected for this to be easy at all. In truth. all of you have exceeded my expectations, taking this boldness of mine much easier than I'd foreseen, and for that, I'm extremely thankful. Especially you, Master!" He favored the very still, deeply scowling Louise with a beautiful smile. "Thank you for not whipping me over or making me explode yet!"

"I'm just pondering how many highly painful and long lasting means of inflicting physical pain I can inflict on you, since whipping and explosions apparently haven't sufficed so far," Louise said in a low, darkly threatening voice, a vein vibrating in her forehead.

Negi gulped, fighting to keep his smile. "I see...! That's great, seeing that you have mastered patience and planning over brash, impulsive reactions!"

"I only have you to thank for that..." Louise said, grinding her teeth together and putting a hand on the table, clawing rips through the cloth.

Collet closed and opened her large innocent blue eyes several times, seemingly lost in a deep mixture of perplexity and careful contemplation. Then she smiled awkwardly and blushed. "Oooohhhh, alright!" she said. "I'm going to accept as well!"

"What?!" Chisame said. She finally pulled her hand off her own face, revealing the dark red imprint she'd left on from squeezing too hard.

"C-Collet!" Yue stammered, starting to nearly hyperventilate. "Th-Think of what you are saying...!"

Haruka slammed her own forehead on the table, hard. "This isn't happening, it just isn't happening at all...!"

Collet looked at Ayase. "Yue-chan, you should be the next one to accept," she cautioned. "You've already lost enough seniority as it is! I mean, even I am your senior now!"

Negi sweatdropped. "C-Collet... I'm honored, and very happy, but that's not the way a polyamorous relationship should actually work..."

"Of course not, it should be based on the supremacy of the strongest," Tsukuyomi lectured.

"Either way, I feel somewhat confident about myself," Chachamaru said in a docile way, mostly to herself. "I did accept first, and my weaponry should still make me the most qualified to impose order at this table, short of Sensei himself..."

Skuld gave her a mild jaded glare. "You just give AIs some sentience and privileges and they start going Skynet on you, huh... that's why I keep Banpei-kun only mildly self-aware..."

"I think I'll start by boiling oil and pouring it over you, starting with the nether regions," Louise murmured. "Slowly and carefully, probably after muffling you so you don't grow too annoying with your protestations. And then..."

"Ohhh, kinky!" Tsukuyomi smirked. "I can tell we're going to be good wives, Louise-sama!"

"I'M NOT GOING TO MARRY YOU!"

 

Meanwhile.

The two of them stood, looking up in awe, at the massive crystalline sphere at the middle of the city square.

On its surface, they saw the image of young man smiling and raising his fist.

"It's him," Ayaka finally said. "It's him!" she added, smiling so very widely, truly contagiating Lala with her enthusiasm. "Now we know where to look for him!"

She began rushing for the outskirts. "Come on!" she urged her traveling companion. "We have no time to waste! To Ostia we go!"

Lala laughed, easily catching up to her, even in her much smaller child form. "Oh, so you like him like that as well!"

"What do you mean with that? Of course I do!" Ayaka said, never slowing down.

"Mmmm," Lala said through her smile. "Because soon, he'll be spending all of his time like that, you know..."

Ayaka opened her mouth to reply, but Lala beat to it, gently. "And please don't say 'age deceiving pills', because it's bad forcing him to be something he won't be anymore, all the time."

Ayaka bit her tongue for a moment, and then she said, "Of course not..."

After clearing another city block, Ayaka spoke again. "I just know that Sensei won't ever lose that sense of wonder, that purity in his heart, all those things inside that make him my Sensei. Our Sensei. I know that sounds incredibly cliche, but--"

"Is it?" Lala inquired curiously. "Isn't that how love is supposed to work? Anything that is normal can't be a cliche, can it?"

Ayaka blinked and paused, even if she never slowed down. Even after weeks of traveling together, and the previous months of being clubmates in Mahora, she still couldn't quite figure out if she was perceptive and insightful or truly dumber than Makie. For someone used to read others with Iinchou Powers, like Ayaka, that was borderline maddening indeed.

"I just was... afraid to think it might sound corny, coming from me," Ayaka allowed. "Silly, quaint even."

"It's not. I just think it's a beautiful way to feel about someone, Ayaka!"

The blonde smiled and finally slowed down. "It must be difficult for you to run like that, with those shorter legs, right? Jump on my back."

"Ah? No, it's fine, even like this, I'm still physically superior to most humans, no offense..."

"You'll draw attention to yourself if you're seen running at the same pace as a grown woman," Ayaka reasoned, lowering her voice. "Jump on my back."

Lala smiled, jumped onto her, and put her arms around Ayaka's neck.

"I'm sure we'll find Senpai, Yue-san and Paru-san there, too," the Earthling promised her, and began to run again.

"Thank you, Ayaka!"

The limits of the city were in sight already.

The two friends headed towards Neo Ostia.

 

Love is not Blind, but it Should Be.

"Hey, Rito, Haruna-san!" Aijo Rentarou smiled, as he was led by the nurse into the room. "Good to see everything worked out!"

"Oh, Ren-kun, come here and look at her!" Haruna said, holding her baby in her arms while Rito smirked proudly. "Isn't she the cutest thing ever?"

Rentarou leaned towards the bed. "Yes, yes, she's very pretty ind--"

Then he and the baby locked gazes.

A large jolt of electricity rattled the air of the hospital room.

---

"AAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!" Rito screamed, bolting up into a sitting position on the bed.

"What?! What?! What?!" Momo gasped from the floor, where she had just landed on her face. "What's wrong?!"

"I... I had a horrible nightmare!" Rito shuddered. "It started great, Haruna-chan and were in... um, a very nice date..." He blushed, starting to remember, "but then... uh... why is my zipper open?"

"I have no idea what are you talking about," Momo said, wiping her mouth with the back of a hand right before Mikan and Nana opened the door, startled by the scream.

 

Desperate Situations, Desperate Measures.

"Negi... Negi!" the small brown skinned girl stumbled into the apartment as soon as he opened the door. "I need prana...! A kiss...! Call Chisame-san over...!"

Negi blinked, then rubbed his runny nose with a handkerchief. "Um, sorry, Kuro-san, but--"

"My name is Chloe!" she growled.

"Ah, sorry, yes," he apologized, sniffling. "I keep thinking back of the other Ch-- Kuro-san for some reason. Sorry, but Chisame and the others are in Master Evangeline's resort, training."

"Wha-what?" the tired girl dropped onto the couch, wheezing. "And why aren't you with them?"

"It would seem that I have caught a cold..."

"What?! Come on, you're supposed to be stronger than that!" She coughed. "A plain cold shouldn't bother you!"

"No, it doesn't," he admitted, blowing his nose, "but it does bother them when I sneeze."

"Ohhhh... right," Chloe frowned. "W-Well, call them over with your cards!"

"That won't work while they are inside of the resort. It's a different dimension," he offered meekly.

Chloe tossed her head back. "Oh, for the love of--!"

"I, I can call, I don't know, Risa-san and Mio-san!" he gulped. "I'm sure they wouldn't mind!"

"Who are those?" Chloe pouted. She looked up and down at him. "Oh, what the heck. I need it right now. C'me here!"

---

"Well, I was going to send Berserker to look for you!" Illya scoffed as Chloe, scowling very deeply, walked into the castle. "What were you doing?" she asked her grandfather-sent clone and former would-be killer.

"I was being attacked, thanks for asking..." Chloe grumbled. "I'm better now."

"And... why are you wearing one of Negi's suits?"

"HE ONLY SNEEZED ON ME, OKAY?! NOTHING ELSE! AND THOSE GIRLS HAD NOTHING ON MY SIZE FOR ME TO--" She sneezed loudly. "OH, DAMNIT! NOW I HAVE IT, TOO!"

 

"Nobody's going to marry anyone!" Haruka roared at the top of her lungs.

Tsukuyomi gave her a blandly annoyed look. "I thought that marrying him was your objective all along?"

"Well, yes, but not like this!" the much bustier blonde said. "Sensei, you aren't even thinking about Yukino's feelings! She doesn't want to marry you or me!"

"Um, well, uh, actually," Yukino stumbled with her tongue, blushing a lot.

"What's with that hesitation?" Louise asked her accusingly. "So you like him as well, after all?!"

"N-No! Nooooooo!" Yukino cried. "But, but it's mo-more complicated than, that that!"

"She'd like to marry--" Chisame began to explain in a very tired tone.

"I'd like to marry someone someday, but definitely not right now!" Yukino shouted to drown out what Chisame was about to say.

Negi blinked once, then heaved a sigh. "I know. And I'm so very sorry to put you in this heart wrenching predicament, Yukino-san, but I have every reason to think that time is of the esence to take a stand and--"

"Aaaarrrgh, stop talking in riddles!" Skuld screamed, tossing her hands up, as if she hadn't been often guilty of that as well. "Let's go to the point then! You have looked into my possibility calculating devices, haven't you?!"

"Possibility... what?" Chisame asked. "What the heck are you up to this time? So you're actually at fault again?!"

"I'm not at fault, he is for looking where he shouldn't have, to make decisions he shouldn't make!" Skuld jammed a pointer finger towards the frowning Negi. "Because that's what you've been doing, isn't it!"

"It was an accident," Negi replied, evenly. "I didn't wish to mention your device so you wouldn't be blamed for this. But since you brought it up, Nodoka and I were looking for you in your workshop, and accidentally triggered its interface..."

Skuld facepalmed hard. "Oh Father, give me strenght...!"

"What we were shown, however, only reinforced the suspects I had been having after meeting Magus Erebus, and then John-san," Negi stressed. "Skuld, you were there too, in that parallel world. Do you think that's the kind of world your sister would want to come to pass?"

Skuld scowled fiercely at him. "Don't you lecture me about my own sister and I won't lecture you about yours!"

"Is she even my sister in this timeline?" Negi growled slightly, his tone starting to rise towards her.

"Don't worry, you aren't a Nigel!" Skuld said half mockingly. "She isn't your mother or anything?"

Chisame blinked. "Excuse me, his what?"

"I am... I am as clueless as you are," Yue said, sounding truly helpless.

"That's good to know..." Negi said, tone softening again.

"Yes, I suppose it is, since actually being a prince keeps giving you the idea you can marry into a collective!" Skuld kept on taunting him.

Negi's face tightened again.

"I know that the success of Negi John's plan is ultimately tied to his gathering of a strong, cohesive collective around him," he told the goddess. "I've also seen that, should he fail to do so, he and all of those he loves, are doomed. I know that much, but naturally, Nodoka and I couldn't watch every detail unfold, so I need you. I need your guidance and support, to keep my own loved ones safe and well in the event of similar disasters. Please, Skuld. I'm begging you..." He breathed out shakily, slamming his hands together before his face.

Skuld still bristled, fuming. "It's... It's not as easy as that...!"

"Explanations, now!" Chisame demanded, and Collet and Tsukuyomi nodded emphatically.

"Why... Why hasn't Nodoka told me anything about this yet?" Yue asked.

"I asked her not to, even though she wanted to," Negi said. "If you want to blame anyone, then please blame me."

"Don't mind if we do..." Skuld muttered.

Chisame grabbed her by the back of the head and rattled it back and forth. "Don't start trying to shake your own part in this now, you little...! We should've known better after the Festival!"

"Let me go!" Skuld said, shaking her head free. "Geez, in another world I was your babysitter, you know!"

"My what?"

"That was in the world where Sora was your mother," Skuld grouched, rubbing her own head.

"Sora and Dad...?"

"No, it wasn't that man!" Skuld sighed. "You remember the situation about Haruna's parentage compared to the other Haruna's, right? Or how your family life and Calculator's didn't match? Why are you even acting surprised by this now?"

Chisame huffed. "D-Don't change the subject on us! Never mind that now! Why is it so important that this brat marries all of us? What's that got to do with anything about saving the world, is he going to hit whatever cosmic threat with our marriage certificates or something?!"

Skuld rolled her eyes around. "Alright... Chao didn't want you to know this since it could change the future irreparably for the worse, but..."

"But?!" Louise pressed on, grabbing her by the collar.

Skuld glared at her. "Hands off!"

Louise snarled, but then just pushed Skuld back, letting go of her.

Skuld dusted herself off with airs of great dignity. "As you know, Chao comes from a ruined future, one that doesn't match the one ahead of Negi John's world. Chao's own actions through the Festival, and even before, aleady have sent ripples in the cause-effect continuum, so that exact future won't come to pass anymore, but there's plenty of ways for mankind's future to turn grim regardless. Every time Chao returns to her future, it has been altered into a different undesirable outcome, which is why she keeps heading back and trying to alter--"

"Wait, what?!" Yue gasped. "You mean she's pulled stunts like the Mahorafest's more than once?!"

"And every time she creates a different parallel timeline, although not all parallel timelines stem from her actions," Skuld nodded. "There are many other time travelers, after all. In some timelines, like Negi John's, Chao doesn't even exist, which is why you didn't see her or Chachamaru there, Negi."

"I see..." Negi hummed, nodding at this new confirmation of his suspects while Chachamaru took a hand to her own slightly open mouth.

"Yeah. That's why Chao was branded a threat to the continuum by Sailor Pluto and quarantined within Eva's resort," Skuld went on. "To be honest, I'm not sure your future is heading the same way as Negi John's, where a collective would be the most advisable course of action. Events are still unfolding after all, and until they haven't been resolved I won't be able to tell for sure. I will admit, however, that several persons of interest that might be helpful to chart mankind's future safely won't even be born if you don't have intercourse with certain individuals within a timeframe allowing for those children to grow into the people they need to be by the time they are needed."

"... you lost me," Haruka confessed. "Can you start all over again, please?"

Yue sighed in defeat and lowered her head. "So that's the way it is, then... I see there is no escaping it, and probably it shouldn't be any other way regardless. So we must be courageful, and--"

Collet blinked. Negi perked up in nervous attention. "Yue, are you--" the former began to ask.

Baka Black nodded, tightening her pale lips. "Yes. Yes, I am," she said tensely. "Negi-sensei. I... I... I accept your proposal, I'm going to marry you!"

Louise's headache worsened again.

 

"Yue!" Collet said. "Are you... Are you certain about this?"

"You were just telling her that she should do it, weren't you?" Skuld asked her, sharply.

"I know," Collet said, "but I didn't think she'd go with it so--"

"Collet," Yue said evenly, raising a hand. "You've come to know me well. You know that I don't make decisions without thinking about them carefully, even if I have little time to do so. Then I'll just put as much thought into it as I can during that short time. In that, we're pretty much alike, aren't we, Sensei?" She looked calmly at Negi, although her cheeks had taken a deep shade of red betraying the innocent maiden inside. "I wish this had happened in more... romantic circumstances, and I'm not going to lie, in more exclusive terms as well, but..."

Negi nodded stoically as she left the words hanging. "I'm very sorry, but I guarantee you, my feelings are sincere." He took her small hands in his. "Yue, I'm honored. You're a wonderful person, and don't let anyone ever make you think differently."

Yue sighed. "I don't doubt your feelings are honest, Sensei, albeit perhaps not in the way you think."

Before he could ask her what she meant, Louise slapped their hands apart from each other. "Aaaarrrgh, stop this madness already! You're sorry?! You damn should be! Even if you were right to put your dirty mind in this Casanova tract, you'd still be ten years too early for it!"

"Louise is right!" Chisame growled. "This is your dumbest idea yet by far, and I'm putting trying to turn yourself into an immortal monster in that list, too! For... For starters, Iinchou will be crushed!"

"I don't know why you seem to be under the impression that you only can protect us if we marry, when you've already seen that we're willing to support you until now, without the need for any romance," Yukino lectured him. "And, about these alleged 'persons of interest' in the future... Sensei, that's the way life works. Anyone sitting here could marry pretty much anyone else and have children with them, but--"

"I don't think I could have children with you," Haruka said dubiously. "We're both girls!"

Yukino winced to herself before soldiering on, through the sudden pain. "It's... It's a figure of speech, Haruka-chan. Sensei, my point is that you can't guarantee that any and all children you might ever have with any given girl anywhere will need to be conceived. Why, you'd have to impregnate every woman in the world!"

"Don't give him any new ideas!" Chisame scoffed.

"I understand what you're saying, of course," Negi said, with a nod. "Obviously, it'd be pointless to stretch my circle of influence-- sorry, our circle of influence-- beyond any manner of reasonable limits. At the same time, this crisis, nebulous as if stands yet, looms clearly large enough to make me think about the need for suitably large numbers. In addition to being just wonderful women personally, all of you are gifted with talents, that, I expect, will be much needed in the years to come."

"That's right what she's saying, moron," Chisame said, "that you don't need to make us your wives or anything to have us keeping helping you. If anything, with this you're making me reconsider my decision to help you!"

The young mage paled visibly at these words, jolting back.

"Chisame-san, please, don't say that," Chachamaru said.

"Actually, as much as I hate to say it," Skuld grouched before Chisame could reply, "he's got a point concerning those of you in love with him. You'll never be able to keep clear minds if you are forced to stand aside seeing him living with a single wife of his choice. It'd tear you apart since most of you are guided by personal feelings. His mistake is overestimating his charisma and believing that all of us--"

"What are you trying to imply there, you little smartypants?!" Chisame slammed her hands on the table.

"Oh, who do you think you're fooling?" Tsukuyomi said. Then she glanced at Louise. "And you! You keep saying you aren't in love with him, but you also insist he's only yours to marry! Make your mind up!"

Louise huffed, raising her diminutive nose. "Romance and the marriages of nobility are rarely related at all! It's a matter of honor and commitment! You would know if you weren't just a commoner..."

"And... And I have a debt of honor to both you and Haruka, indeed," Negi breathed out again, still shaken and looking meekly at the scowling Hasegawa. "I only can pay both debts this way, unless I commit ritual suicide, which would be only an admission of defeat and failure anyway, and would leave my father without a--"

"Ritual suicide is out of the question," Skuld interrupted him. "We don't hate you that much yet."

"Um.... Thank you, Sku-chan," the boy gulped.

"Don't call me that!" she glared.

"Please don't make me a widow before we're even married, Sensei," Yue deadpanned.

Louise folded her arms, then shook her head. "I don't care if your debts to Suzushiro go unpaid, that's not my business! My status surpasses hers, so your engagement to me supersedes hers, even if it came to be later!"

"Why, you...!" Haruka stared fire at her. "I don't care about your superseeds or whatever you call them, he took my lips first!"

"Well, he became my Familiar first!" Louise whipped her long pink hair back.

"He made a contract with me first!" Haruka said.

"That, that was technically mine!" Chisame added.

"He went on the run with me first!" Louise leaned across the table, towards Haruka. "I lost my prestige because of him, while I doubt you ever had one to begin with!"

"Ooohhhhhh, you cheeky tiny runt...!" Haruka shook a fist in anger. Yukino looked at her with concern, but obviously gave no signs of stopping her yet, perhaps because she disliked Louise as well. "So that's how you're going to play it?!"

"For me, it's not a game, it's a serious matter about the rest of my life after he dragged me into dishonor!" Louise said.

"But, I beat you to something else!" Haruka grinned widely. "Because I accept his offer first!" When Chachamaru raised a hand politely, the Vice President beat her to the (figurative) punch. "Okay, before you, at least! Yes, Sensei, I'll marry you, too!"

Negi blinked. "Oh! Seriously! That... That is great, Haruka!"

"Yes, Haruka-chan!" Yukino said with Pride. "That will teach this-- Wait, WHAAAAAAAAT?!"

 

Haruka smiled confidently at her longtime comrade. "Don't worry, Yukino!" she said. "You know I've always been up to a challenge! With your support and the actual love Sensei and I share, I'm sure this will be a piece of biscuit in the long run, compared to this pink spore's fake commitment..."

"It's... It's supposed to be a piece of cake," Chisame said faintly.

Louise sputtered and choked in her saliva several times, her fce changing colors quickly. Negi leaned towards her trying to comfort her, but she slammed her fist on his face without looking at him.

"Muh-Mutual love?!" Yukino said.

"Of course!" Haruka grinned, flawless teeth glinting. Somewhere, one Might Guy or Maito Gai or whatever you choose to call him felt a brief warmth filling him up. "We've been partners for months, we know we can trust each other, and we'd gladly sacrifice anything for one another! And you just hear him, he is aware of his compromise of love to me!"

"Oh, so when it's you, then it is love!" Louise growled.

"Your fault," Tsukuyomi reminded her, "for saying you didn't love him, then why do you expect for true love in return?"

"I... I'm not expecting for his true love!" Louise hiccuped, looking about to cry. "I, I just wanted his exclusive-- AAAAUUUGHHHH!" she said, putting her face in her hands, bawling.

"Master, please," Negi cooed, moving to rub her shoulder kindly. "I love you a lot as well! I'll always protect you, and besides--"

Louise punched him in the face again.

Yue sighed. "I guess it'd have been too much, expecting for the Vice President to drop from the running so easily."

"But, but Haruka-chan, think of what you're doing!" Yukino fretted. "Throwing your youth away like this...!"

"Throwing it away? Far from it!" Haruka said. "There's nothing I'd do like better than fulfilling my duty next to a person I really love!"

"Yes, I can understand that, but...!" Yukino insisted.

Haruka blinked. "You do... Don't you?" Then she smirked and gave Yukino a half spirited mock punch in an arm. To her credit, Yukino could take it muuch better now, after months adventuring with the Magic Knights and Fairy Tail. "Oh, Yukino...! You have fallen for Gray-san after all...!"

"Wha-- NOOOOOOO!" Yukino said, horrified. "He's only a good friend!"

"Ah? Juvia-san, then?" Haruka said. "That's fine, I won't judge you."

"You... You wouldn't?" Yukino swallowed.

"Of course not, why would I?"

"But... I thought that you found President Fujino repulsive..."

"Oh, that?!" Haruka laughed, her large breasts bouncing. Louise winced at the sight, and Negi stared on, perhaps more influenced by John and Rakan than he cared to admit. "AH HA HA HA HA! Yukino, that's just because she's Fujino Shizuru! I'd hate her just as much if she were heterosexual!"

"I see..." Yukino said. All things thought, if she had to be mistakenly assumed to be falling for someone, she'd rather be believed to be Juvia's paramour than Gray's. Although she found Gray much more approachable and far less scary, but that was more like a big brother, or a... "But, but that's not it either!" she whined. "I... I am not in love with her...!"

"But you are in love with someone, aren't you?" Tsukuyomi prodded her, all too aware of what she was doing.

Yukino bit her lower lip and lowered her eyes. Maybe she should be honest now? It was a now or never situation, apparently. "W-Well... if, if you need to know...!"

"Just tell her," Chisame said, taking pity on her and so trying to sound supportive enough. "She deserves to know."

Chachamaru, Collet, Negi himself, Yue, Skuld, and even Louise nodded.

Yukino sighed. "Haruka-chan.... I... I want to be with you in--"

Haruka blinked. "Yukino," she told her. "Oh, Yukino, don't tell me! I know!"

"You.. You do!"

"Of course I do! Oh, how was I so blind the whole time?!" she slammed a hand on her own rather wide forehead. "This isn't like me! I should have perceipted it, but maybe approximity to you gave me a blind spot..."

"H-Haruka-chan!" the girl brought her hands together. "So you understand my feelings!"

"Yes! Now I see why you were so awkward around me since we met again!" her blonde precious said, placing her strong hands on her shoulders. "I'm sorry, Yukino! I should have seen it before so I could tell you there was nothing to fear! I won't ever hate you just because you love Negi, too!"

"Oh, Haruka-chan!" the bespectacled girl sobbed. "Thank you for noticing--- Wait, WHAAAAAT?!"

"In hindsight, this outcome should've been obvious," Skuld deadpanned.

"Yeah," Yue agreed.

"It'd be hilarious if it weren't so pathetic," Tsukuyomi opined.

Negi and Chisame just began rubbing their temples in circles.

"A young, sheltered pure and innocent beauty like you, exposed to a noble, handsome, polite and charming young gentleman who isn't threatening at all!" Haruka sniffled. "And then you learn he's engaged to me, so you're torn inside! Oh, my poor Yukino! How must have you suffered!"

"Uhhhhhh!" Yukino said, eyes spinning in spirals.

"But fear not! I accept you! I'll always accept you, no matter what!" Haruka said, hugging her. "We're lifemates! You can marry Negi-sensei too, if you want!"

Yukino's eyes now shrank to dots while she blushed. "Uhhhhhhh!"

"You should accept," Collet cautioned. "This, I think, is as close as you'll get."

"In a way you'll be married to each other as well, I suppose," Skuld shrugged carelessly.

Yukino hiccuped a few times, the corners of her mouth tugging up in a way Chisame found as scary as Juvia herself. And then she said, "I, I accept!"

Negi made a weary face. "I beg your pardon?"

Yukino raised her voice, hugging Haruka back. "Yes! I'll marry you, Haruk-- I mean, Negi-sensei!"

Negi sighed, then smiled and nodded. "Welcome aboard, Yukino..."

"Oh, you must be happy for sure," Chisame said caustically. "Maybe now this way, but this is what you wanted to happen!"

And then he lost his smile and looked at her. "No, I'm not fully happy yet, Chisame," he told her. "To be perfectly honest... I won't be happy until you have accepted."

 

My Kind of Man?

Thankfully, Konoka was still waiting under the same tree when Yuuna came back from the city.

"Did you get them?" Konoka asked.

"Yeah," Yuuna sighed, handing her the large bag. "I was so afraid someone might find you here..."

"I can take care of myself, Yuuna-chan," Konoka said casually, pulling the dress shirt out of the bag and extending it before herself. "Yes, this should fit me fine, thanks!"

"Maybe you should let me be the man," Yuuna said, watching her start to strip down. "You are just... too feminine..."

"Oh, Yuuna-chan. I may act too feminine. You look too feminine. One can be changed, the other can't," Konoka said, now in her underwear, before starting to pull the male clothes on.

Yuuna frowned, wrapping her arms around her own chest and squeezing her breasts tightly. "Not funny..."

"Well, sorry, but it's the truth," Konoe said, finishing putting the disguise on. "It can't be helped, we've only got a single set of disguise glasses with us. Please bear with me."

"You... You still could disguise yourself as another kind of girl!" Yuuna said uneasily, then yelped as Konoka reached for the scissors. "No, wait! You won't do that!"

"But I'm supposed to be a boy," Konoka said matter of factly.

Yuuna sighed. "There's a lot of long haired guys, you know! Plus, Setsuna will kill me if I let you do it!"

"I suppose you are right. Setchan loves my hair, I only wish she would say it aloud..." Konoka said pensively, and more than a bit sad. Then she sighed and began pulling her hair back into a ponytail. "Is this masculine looking enough?"

"You do look like a passable sissy boy rather than a girl," Yuuna admitted, looking up and down at her. She wasn't Setsuna, who could have passed as a more convincing bishounen, but... she didn't look awful either...

Konoka rasped. "And how do I sound?" she asked, deepening her voice.

"You sound like Madoka with a sore throat."

"So I sound fine."

"Great," Yuuna said, nodding.

"Well," Konoka smiled, "now we both can enter the city, then!"

"Ah-hah..."

Konoka offered her her arm.

"Oh, come on... Can't we pretend being siblings?" Yuuna asked.

"Why? Am I not your type of man?" Konoka said, a bit mischievous.

"You know my type is much older than this..."

"All the more reason to do this. We have to pretend we are completely different people," Konoka said, and Yuuna had to admit she was getting the manipulative part of being a man pat down.

Yuuna relented, and Konoka chuckled rather than giggling. "Thank you, babe."

"Don't push your luck..."

They began walking towards the city.

Yuuna tried to keep thinking of Dad all the way in.

 

I Won't Lose!

Twilight, Lena and Webby were back from their latest scouting trip, sadly returning empty handed-- or empty hooved in Twilight's case. But perhaps it had been for the best that they hadn't found any more of the girls yet, since...

"Whaaaaat?!" Webby said. "He proposed marriage to all of you, for real?!"

"Well, no, just Louise, Ayase, Farandole, Skuld, Chachamaru, the thing with glasses, Suzushiro, Kikukawa and me so far..." Chisame said uncomfortably.

"'Just'?" Twilight said, raising an eyebrow.

"So far?" Lena added, critically.

Chisame said, sounding so very tired. "I'm not proud of what has become of my life. It's because of a prophecy, sort of, a pattern in the course of several universes where we're kind of better off if we're with him..."

"'The thing with glasses'. Cute, Chisame-han, very cute," Tsukuyomi said calmly from where she sat by the window, polishing one of her blades.

"Ah-ha-ha," Webby laughed nervously. "You aren't going to ask us to marry you as well, are you, Negi?"

"No, I know that your interests lie squarely somewhere else and that you are incompatible in us in terms of anything but the sincere friendship we share," Negi replied from the kitchen, where he was helping Chachamaru with dinner. "Besides, we are biologically unable to have any offspring, which is one of the decisive factors in this course of action."

Twilight hummed to herself. "Actually, I think that with one of Princess Celestia's spells and a rational use of the Mirror of--"

Webby and Lena slammed their hands on her mouth.

Chisame lowered her voice. "If you ask me, I'm starting to suspect that he's grown jealous of Rentarou-senpai being predicted worthy of having one hundred girlfriends and aiming to top him eventually."

"Who is even this Rentarou you're talking about?" Lena asked.

"I'm not!" Negi said indignantly. "Chisame, that's not funny! This isn't a matter of my ego at all!"

"Ah, yes, by the way," Skuld said. "I looked into my calculations about Negi John's universe again. I realized that Aijou Rentarou died while a child there..."

Negi paused, and then asked in concern, "So... his would-be girlfriends are doomed to unhappiness and a premature end there, then?"

"C'est la vie," Skuld shrugged, in a poise unconsciously copied from Peorth.

"M-Maybe we should go back there for a short while, make sure they are all fine," Negi said. "Come to think about it, I'm worried about Akane-san as well..."

Chisame snapped the book Yue was reading from her hands, tossed it through the door to the kitchen, and hit Negi squarely in the noggin.

 

Brynhildr's Beloved.

Skuld smiled. "There," she said, putting down the jar with the late Odin's eye in it. "Using this, I've been able to cancel the curse the King placed on you, Bryn. You are free. You can now be with the man you love without fearing to kill him!"

"Am... Am I?" the valkyrie blinked, surprised.

Skuld, Belldandy and Urd all nodded pleasantly.

"Oh my Mistresses!" Byrnhildr cried. "I shall indebted to you forever! Thank you so very much, from the bottom of my heart...!"

Sigurd smiled as well and opened his mighty arms.

Brynhildr turned around and threw herself on Morisato Keiichi, hugging him tightly. "I love you so much, my lord...!"

"What, what, whaaaaat?!" Keiichi gasped. "When, when did this come to happen?!"

Chamo chuckled and puffed on his cigarette. "All these stories will hopefully be told someday, Keiichi-san!"

Ishtar and Ereshkigal began clapping happily. "YAY BRYN!"

Thor, Quetzalcoatl and Aqua laughed loudly and bashed large jars of beer together. "VERILY!" They began chugging down.

Ortlinde, Hildr and Thrud sighed. "If this is what Big Sister wants..." they chorused, resigned.

"Your family is weird, Thor," Hawkeye commented. "And what am I doing here anyway? Why is that weasel talking?"

"Ooops." Skuld bit her tongue down, feeling Belldandy, Sigurd and Siegfried looming over her from behind.

Kriemhild allowed herself a small wry smirk...

 

What If.

The funeral was relatively brief, or at least it had feel brief, and now Negi, Chisame, Satomi and Chamo were back home.

Itoshiki-sensei had the good sense of not making a melodrama show this time, but he acted like that, genuinely contrite and pensive, whenever he felt actual grief.

Negi had gone to brew tea while Satomi bathed. Chisame just sat by the window, holding her face in her hands, and Chamo sat on her lap, rubbing one of her arms with a paw, truly trying to console.

When Negi walked back in with a tray of fragrant cup teas, he did a mild shocked take. "Chisame!" he said. "Behind you!"

It was then when Chisame realized she had been hearing a familiar Jiiiiiiiiii sound for some minutes now.

She looked back over her shoulder, and a faint, translucid shape standing behind the chair smiled at her.

"Ah," Chisame said. "You were there?"

"Yes, Chisame-sama," the ghost said tenderly. "Always."

Chisame sniffed and smiled back. "I suppose," she told her, "that this won't change much."

It did not.

---

I Hate it when You Do That.

Zazie, Skuld and Nyarlothotep, aka Nyarko-chan, sat around the table, talking at each other in a high pitched, messy, seemingly incoherent cacophonic shared lethany. Chisame sat nearby, by the computer, rubbing her temples and unable to work as she would like.

The three kept on shifting from screeching peaks to ever increasing low grumbles and groans, their otherworldly speech always irregular and unsettling.

At some point, Nyarko turned her head around and let out a chain of short whimpers and growls in a vaguely questioning tone.

A tiny balding man wearing a purple suit and bowler hat appeared sitting in mid air, with a 'pop' sound, and joined the talk, with his own shrill, nerve wringing stacatto of guttural noise.

After several rapid exchanges of this between the four, Skuld looked at Chisame. "Chiu, perhaps you should leave now," she told her in Japanese. "The next part might drive you just insane."

"I think I'll do just that, thanks," Chisame said, getting up and walking out.

 

A Sight to Remember.

"I'm going to be off planet for around two weeks," Superman said, while the girls and most of the boys looked at him adoringly. Even Evangeline kept on looking over the magazine she was pretending to read in disinterest. "And I need someone to look after the Fortress of Solitude while I'm away. You know... feeding the intergalactic zoo, simple enough tasks. Most of the fortress is self sustaining anyway. Batman said you need a lot of time away from disturbances to work on Blue Mars' calculations, and they don't come much more peaceful than the Fortress..."

"Oh, I'm so thankful, and honored, too," Negi blinked. "But, ah, don't you have robots for that?"

"..." Superman said.

"They went rogue and you had to destroy them, didn't you?" Chisame said.

"It was Brainiac's fault. That's why I'm going to chase him all the way to Colu. Don't worry, Cyborg, Stark, Richards and I triple checked and we made sure nothing of Brainiac's influence was left in the Fortress."

Negi rubbed the back of his neck. "I see. I'm not sure... I mean, I would love to, but..."

"WE'LL TAKE IT!" Kotaro, Natsumi, Yuuna, Misa, Ayaka, Makie, Haruka, Haruna, Rito, Fuuka and Fumika said all at once.

---

"Ahhhhhh, the temperature here is great!" Haruna said, walking out of the bath naked and toweling herself dry. "You hardly can believe we're in the Arctic!"

"Haruna, what the heck!" Chisame said. "Cover yourself up!"

Haruna blinked. "Why, I thought the boys were in the other side of the house?"

"Even so, you shouldn't be walking naked around Superman's home! Respect the man, f'r Pete's sake!" Chisame growled.

"Moreover," Satomi said, pointing calmly at a small bottle on a stand, "you're standing right next to the bottled city of Kandor."

Haruna turned around and blinked at it. "And? What's so special about it?"

"It's an actual Kryptonian urban environment, shrunk and put into a bottle-like containment unit by Brainiac," Satomi said. "You're giving a free peep show to over 15,000 individuals residing there until Superman-sama finds a way to release them safely."

Chisame began choking loudly in her saliva while Haruna said slowly, "Aaaaaahhhhhhh!" with airs of major enlightment.

And then she leaned down and pressed her breasts against the top of the glass dome, giggling as several tiny lights flashed under her. "Ohhhh, how cute! They're taking pictures...!"

Chachamaru had to restrain Chisame from behind before she could grab Kandor and hit Haruna over the head with it.

 

What the Cat Dragged In.

"Well, look who showed up," Chisame said while setting the plate with breakfast before the half asleep Satomi. "Where were you all night long?"

Negi sighed, hanging his shirt by the door. "I was visiting Sextum and her--"

He then coughed loudly, and spat a large furball out.

"Ohmigosh," Chisame winced. "You... Now you were having sex with Tamaki too!"

Negi sighed loudly. "Koyomi! Tamaki is the dragon one...!"

 

Isekai.

Chisame, Skuld and Louise were walking back home from buying groceries.

Then, something fell from the sky, landing right before them on the sidewalk.

Chisame screamed. It was the badly mangled, bloodied body of a dead young man who looked Japanese, wearing a high school uniform.

Skuld sighed. "Don't worry too much, Chisame. Fantasy stories? They are actually correct. If a truck kills you, you are transported to a parallel magical world, just not the way usually depicted."

"Oh, I hate it when this happens!" Louise squirmed in disgust, kicking the corpse aside. "Last year, these bastards ruined three, count them, three outdoor parties we were throwing in the school!"

 

That's Our Girl.

"Keiichi," Skuld said, impressed. "This motorcycle is working better than ever! How could you fix it so well, in a single afternoon?"

"Actually, it wasn't me," Keiichi said. "It was Maki-chan."

"You?!" Skuld blinked, looking at her second Ministra.

Makie grinned, hugging Morisato's arm. "Senpai's been teaching me mechanics!"

"She's a very good learner!" Keiichi said, patting Makie's head and making her purr.

Skuld narrowed her eyes at them. "Okay, Makie," she told her. "Then explain what you did."

"Oh, I just tuned that thing in the engine, replaced that part there with a new one, calibrated that gizmo under that one, and then cleaned the thingy there so it would pump well into that other one! That sufficed!" Makie answered.

"Yeah, well, but..." Skuld sweatdropped. "What are their names, exactly?"

Makie blinked. "You don't know?"

"Of course I do!"

"Then why are you asking?"

"Ahhhhrrr!"

"Ah! Don't get upset! In truth I don't know either," she said, scratching her own head, "Senpai told me all of them, but I forgot them already. But I memorized what every part does and how they relate to each other and the sounds they do when they aren't working right, so does that matter anyway?"

Skuld stared on blankly.

"It's like doing gymnastic routines, see," Makie explained. "I don't need to memorize the fancy names, I just have to remember how to move around, and... that's all, actually!"

Skuld kept on staring at her.

"Did I say something wrong?" Makie asked innocently.

Skuld shook her head helplessly and walked back out of the workshop.

Then Makie leaned towards Keiichi. "Poor Sku-chan," she told him. "Her pride just won't let her admit that she doesn't remember either...!"

Keiichi sighed.

 

Welcome Back, Ojou-sama (and That Other Person).

"Are you sure it's here?" Yuuna asked. She looked up and down at the large old manor.

"That's what the guy in the arena said, that here's where Nagi and Kojiro are staying," Konoka said, smoothing his masculine short down and making sure her chest binds were well in place. "You stay behind. If we're wrong, any men here are much less likely to get fresh with me than with a cute girl."

"F-Flatterer," the cute girl said, nonetheless staying where she stood on the sidewalk.

Konoka gave several steps ahead and knocked on the door. "Hellooooooo!" she called out in her best boy impression. "I'm here to talk with Mr. Nagi...!"

The front door was opened from the inside. A short girl with glasses and very long light blonde hair poked her head out. "Yesssssss?" she asked happily.

Konoka's eyes widened to almost grotesque levels. Without saying a world, she turned around briskly, grabbed Yuuna, and began running down the street with her, dragging the startled young athlete away.

Tsukuyomi blinked, and then the other shoe dropped. "Aaaahhhhh!" she cooed, racing after them. "Wait just a second, Ojou-sama...!"

In a second, she was tackling them down.

---

"Chisameeeee!" Tsukuyomi sang, pulling a kicking and struggling Konoka and Yuuna in with herself. "Just look who just came...!"

Chisame blinked. "Oh, Konoe, it's you! Um, look, we can explain this, just sit down and let me bring some drink..."

"Omigosh, it's Bizarro World! We were just dropped into Bizarro World, weren't we?!" Konoka panicked.

Tsukuyomi giggled. "Oh, we have so much to talk about, Ojou-sama! Negi-han and I are going to marry, for starters...!"

Yuuna desperately tried to reach for the closest window and jump out, but Yue entered the room casually and, without really looking at her, grabbed her by the back of the shorts and pulled her back down.

 

Rule of Three.

"Konoka, Yuuna, this is Louise," Yue said, gesturing towards the suspiciously squinting pink haired girl. "Negi landed on her head and got temporay amnesia."

"On my lips," Louise corrected her. "He landed on my lips."

"Why doesn't that surprise me?" Yuuna said.

"How cyuuuute!" Konoka cooed, reaching over and pinching one of Louise's cheeks. "You're so pretty and small and pink...!"

Louise blabbered a few times, blushing, but noticeably did not retaliate or slap her hand away.

"This," Yue continued, gesturing towards the next girl, "is Collet, who used to study in Ariadne Academy with Louise and me."

"How do you do?!" Collet said happily.

"Oh, you're cute too!" Konoka began patting the blonde's hair, making her wag her tail and whimper contentedly like a puppy. "Such pretty ears...!"

"And this," Yue moved on, "is Jack. Mr. Jack Rakan. He's been training Negi-sensei, and... you do remember him from those pictures in Kyoto, right?"

"..." Konoka said as she and Yuuna looked up, up, up at the grinning tanned mountain of muscle. And then only a sparse, "Nice to meet you, Mister."

"You can start telling me how cute I am any moment now!" he said, grinning widely and striking a disturbingly odd coquettish pose.

Yuuna went for the window again.

"Yuuna..." Yue groaned, grabbing her by the back of the shorts once more. "Let's not make this any harder than it has to be..."

 

Something in Common.

"I think you don't like me a lot, do you?" Rakan asked out of the blue.

Konoka spat the juice she'd been drinking. "R-Rakan-san!"

He shrugged those wide shoulders. "Look, I'm not the type to mince words. I just know! The way you behave around me. You don't have to feel bad for it. I'm perfect, true, but perfection is not for everyone!"

"It's just that..." Konoka began, uncertain of how to go on. Had her father really been close friends with a man like this? "I think we don't have much in common..."

"More like nothing. But it's fine, I had nothing in common with Eishun and eventually we became pals!"

"I guess..." Konoka allowed uneasily.

"You'll have to be patient with me, tho', because some people can find me somewhat annoying at times. For instance, when I want to know something, I just ask it, I have to. No matter whom I offend, because c'mon, why would Fearless Jack Rakan be afraid of ruffling some feathers here and there?"

"I suppose that's what being fearless means..." Konoka said blandly.

"And I'm about to ask you something that you'll no doubt hate, so please bear with me and don't hate me too much yet."

She braced herself. "I'll try it. What is that, Rakan-san?"

"Is your mother still just as much of a cold, stuck up and uncaring bitch you can't just relax around and talk with?"

Konoka blinked, and then, slowly, very slowly, and with her eyes lighting up, she smiled. "I think," she said, "we might have found the first thing we have in common!"

Rakan smiled back.

 

A Biased Opinion.

"I don't know what to do," Negi said. "I've asked Chachamaru for her hand in marriage. And she accepted. But now I'm having second thoughts. Not because she's a gynoid, or because of any character flaws. She's pretty much perfect, all I could ask from a partner. But, mature and level headed as she is, she was built less than two years ago. For all intents and purposes, she's essentially a newborn with little actual life experience."

"You're afraid you're taking advantage of her," the woman told him.

And Negi nodded. "I ask your council regarding this since I know you won't judge me, but if you think I'm acting wrongly, please tell me so. Don't mince any words. Tell me, am I wrongdoing?"

Irisviel von Einzbern-Emiya hummed. "I don't see anything wrong about it, for real!"

 

The Parent Crap.

"Yue," Collet said as they got in the bed. There was only one bed in the room, after all, as the immortal reminder of Shadow Crystal Mage would say. "Do you miss your parents? I've noticed you never mention them..."

"No, I don't," Yue said dryly.

"Ehhhh?! But why?!" Collet's ears jumped in place. She gasped. "Oh, sorry! I, I didn't mean to hurt you! Are they--"

"No, they are very much alive," Yue said, with her mouth becoming a small x.

"Then, why?" Collet asked. "That's not like you! They must be sick worried about your disappearance..."

Yue sighed. "Collet. Let me tell you a story. A couple years back, I asked my father 'Why are you two so cold towards me? Did you wish for a son instead?' And he said, 'No, we didn't'. And I asked, 'Then, why did you bring me to this world?' And he said, 'The condom broke'."

Collet blinked several times. "Oh... Oh. Oh, s-sorry. But still... they didn't abort you, so they must have come to want and love you regardless..."

"I asked him that too, right then. He said my grandfather would change his testament so the British Royal Library inherited everything instead if they even tried."

Collet winced. "Oooooo..."

Yue half smiled, looking at the ceiling. "I'll always love Grandfather. He was such a remarkable man..."

Collet looked over at Nodoka, who was at her other side in the bed. Remember that Yue needed to sleep at the edge because of nature calls. "And... And you, Nodoka? Are you--"

Nodoka, facing the wall and turning her back on Collet, made some rather loud and forced sounds of false snoring.

Collet shrunk back into the bedsheets.

In another world, the Miyazakis and the Ayases hugged each other and wept loudly.

"We never told them how much we truly loved them...!"

 

... and Three's a Crowd.

"Oh, you're back," Luviagelita said as Miyu entered the manor. The blonde smiled at her. "How much info did you gather?"

Miyu pulled a chair and sat down, with a haunted, and faraway, expression. "Another Illya-san is staying with her."

"Eh?" Luvia said.

Miyu nodded stiffly. "Yes. The other one apparently is a failsafe plan by the Einzbern elder, sent to eliminate her and take her place after her failure to summon the Holy Grail in time. But they have become friends, sort of, and Illya-san offered Black Illya-san refuge in the castle."

"Black Illya-san?"

"She is dark skinned, unlike Illya-san."

"Well, that's a racist way to call her! Call her by her name! Doesn't she have one of her own?"

"Kuro-san."

Luvia frowned. "That's a Japanese word, and not even a real name! The Einzberns wouldn't call her that!"

Miyu clenched her teeth. "Chloeeeeee..."

Luvia nodded. "And what's Chloe like?"

"Have you ever watched horror movies, and their sequels?"

"What does that have to do with this?"

"You know how the sequels always feel off, and they are crasser and louder than the originals? Sometimes, they are even scarier, even if only through sheer shock value, and others they feel like a bad joke. Well, my time spent with them... was like watching two sequels at once."

Luvia frowned. "I hadn't pegged you for a horror movie fan," she admitted.

Miyu sighed. "It's a long story, really..."

"And... who is the original and who's part two there?" Luvia inquired.

"I told you, they are both sequels. Part Two and Part Three... I only can fathom what the original was like..."

Somewhere in the Throne of Heroes, Irisviel sneezed.

"Gesunheidt," gently told her Justeaze, her prequel.

 

Unequally Grand Order, Part 1- Remember The Keys of the Kingdom?

"Adeat," Alice Liddell said, and summoned a small shiny bottle to her right hand. Abigail Williams cooed in awe, her baby blue eyes dilating. Alice smiled at her. "See? This is my Artifact, which I got from contracting with Professor Negi. Using it, I can change size at will."

Abigail clapped several times, excitedly. "Let me see it, please!"

"Well," Alice reasoned, uncorking the bottle, "I suppose it won't hurt anyone..."

---

Chisame stopped by, seeing a rattled Alice sitting at a corner, hugging her own legs against herself while an agitated Abigail patted her shoulder and tried to comfort her.

"I don't want to ask this but I have to. What happened?" Chisame asked.

Abigail hiccuped, turning her wet eyes on Chisame. "It's all my fault!" she wailed, pointing at the keyhole shaped hole on her own forehead. "M-Miss Liddell was showing me the uses of her Artifact, and then, then I leaned too close, and she fell in through this...!"

"Wonderland," Alice babbled. "I want to go back to Wonderland. Blessed normalcy of Wonderland!"

Chisame frowned at the keyhole. "Maybe Eva or Medea-san can make a special cork we can put there so this kind of things stops happening," she told Williams.

 

True to Myself.

"Oh, you're always like this!" Ayaka told her, bristling with irritation. "Always believing that your opinions are the absolute truth!"

"Naturally," Chisame said coldly. "If I didn't think they were true, why would I bother opining them at all?"

---

Asuna blinked.

"Why are you like that now?" she asked Ayaka, seeing how she was sitting so still and silent at that corner.

 

Unequally Grand Order, Part 2- Do you Miss that Person?

"It's... It's not that I mind reminding you of that dear friend of yours," Qin Liangyu said uneasily while Hakase carefully painted small pink blush stickers on the Lancer's cheeks. "But, must you really go this far, I wonder...?"

Unequally Grand Order, Part 3- We'll Bring you Back Yet!

"Emiya-san, please remember! Cooking! Being a Hero of Justice! Fixing other people's machines!" Negi kept on appealing.

"You are wasting your time," Muramasa told him. "Sorry, but nothing remains of this body's personality. It is not my choice..."

"Look, look, I'm picking on Makie!" Yuuna said, bopping her knuckles on Makie's head. "I'm being such a nasty bully! If only a Hero of Justice could step in!"

EMIYA chuckled. "Just listen to him! You won't do it! Give it up..."

"You wish! Grrrrrr, if we could bring Rin and Sakura back then we can do this as well!" Artoria growled.

"I'm so confused about this," Ereshkigal said meekly, watching Ishtar and Parvati hugging and dancing around.

"Don't think about it. It's what I'm going to do," Kama adviced laconically.

"I know! Your father was lame! Boy, Emiya Kiritsugu was super lame and very uncool!" Asuna said.

"... why should I get incensed about that?" Muramasa asked. "I have no real fondness for that Assassin myself."

EMIYA's right eyebrow twitched, his fingers twirling around the handles of his blades. "Asuna, really, please don't attempt that again."

Chisame snapped her fingers. She pointed at EMIYA and shouted, "Emiya-senpai! That guy is talking shit about you again!"

Muramasa blinked many times, tensing up. "What?!" he asked in a rather changed tone. "Again?! Archer, you bastard...!"

"Shirou!" Artoria cried joyously, jumping on him.

"There are some serious deep implications about that of all things triggering him back," observed Satomi.

"Never mind that, what matters is that we got results." Negi sighed. "Okay, now let's move on with Fujimura-sensei..."

"Do we really need to bother?" Natsumi asked. "I mean, is there any actual difference at all?"

 

Yuuna's Heart.

"Whaaaaaa?!" Yuuna said. "You, you actually proposed marriage to all nine of these?! And they accepted?!"

Skuld frowned. "I didn't accept, I said I'd think it over..."

"What in the world posessed you to accept?!" Yuuna demanded, turning on the others as if she hadn't heard Skuld. "Okay, he's Negi-kun, and Psycho-chan here is psycho, but even so, this is crazy and it never could work legally or otherwise and--!"

"His mother was a powerful princess," Tsukuyomi said, "so he's the heir to this very country we are at, and entitled to all of its riches."

Yuuna blinked, paled very starkly, and then fell to knee before Negi. "Please marry me too!"

"Whaaaaaa?!" Chisame yelled now. "Not funny, Akashi! Weren't you in love with--"

"I need a powerful good man to steer me away from the decadent dead-end path of incest with an ungrateful man who already has a millennia old Greek hag!" Yuuna said, grabbing Negi's hand tightly.

Chisame bristled over being interrupted, and over that marriage thing too. "And since when are you so interested on wealth anyway, you aren't Kakizaki!"

"I just spent weeks living in an isolated woodland village with a hundred tiny la-la-la singing blue men, that puts a renewed perspective on the value of wealth on anyone!" Yuuna snapped, rubbing Negi's hand. "Of course, the thing I still value the most from Negi-kun is his pure heart, always willing to help a girl and to play along with a good jok--"

Negi smiled. "Okay, Yuuna-chan. I wasn't expecting for this, but I'm honored and you're very kind, noble, funny and beautiful, so I accept!"

Yuuna's hair stood up in point. "Craaaaaap! I wasn't expecting you to take it seriously and acc-- Wait, I am noble, for real?! Since when?!"

Tsukuyomi looked at Konoka, who was smiling with a tiny vein pulsing on her forehead. "What about you, Ojou-sama, aren't you interested on joining me in our--"

Her placid clenched smile uninterrupted, Konoka slammed a hand on Tsukuyomi's face.

"I suppose that's a no for now, then."

 

Ako's Dreams.

Ako smiled and looked into the distance, leaning on her mop.

Karin stopped behind her and bopped her in the back of the head. "Stop daydreaming! We haven't finished cleaning yet!"

"Ow!" the girl groaned, rubbing the back of her head. "Take it easy, I am not a tireless immortal like you!"

"What were you thinking about, Izumi?" Evangeline asked from where she lounged on her beach chair, sunbathing in the main yard of the resort.

Izumi exhaled. "I was thinking about what I'd be doing right now, if I had gone with Makie, Yuuna, and the others. They're in an exotic, dangerous world of wonder and thrill! No doubt they are living amazing adventures right now..."

"Someone like you would want to be an adventurer?" Karin said. "I find that hard to believe."

Ako blushed. "To be perfectly honest, I was thinking of how I'd be endangered, a hostage or something, for Kotaro-kun to save me."

"That... That's the most embarrassingly passive wish I've ever heard about!" Eva said.

Ako went back to mopping the yard. "I'm a realist. I realize I wouldn't be the type to be saving anyone. Besides, I think it's kind of romantic."

"Wait... 'Kotaro-kun'?" Karin said. "You mean like Inugami, the mutt boy? Not Negi?"

Ako blushed harder and kept on mopping, pretending she hadn't heard.

"There's no accounting for taste," Evangeline mused.

"Tell me about it," Karin sighed, also going back to work. "I fell in love with you, after all."

 

Do you Like Movies about Gladiators?

"Misa, Madoka, Misora," Yue smiled faintly, entering their room with a very delicate looking young man. "Guess who has just found us?"

Misa blinked many times. "Yue...!" she said, growing rather pumped. "Oh, you little naughty thing...! Tell us where you found this wonderful looking bishonen!"

The androgynous beauty giggled. "Misa-chan, it's me!" 'he' said, undoing 'his' ponytail and shaking HER long black hair around. "Nice to see you again!"

It took Madoka a moment to react. "Konoka! Is that you?!"

Konoka grinned. "Yeppers!"

Madoka and Misora looked quite disappointed instantly. Misa only bit on her own lower lip. "Dammit, now I sympathize with Setsuna a lot better!"

Misora mumbled to herself. "I should have learned my lesson after the Black Rose Baron..."

"Why did you come here disguised like that?" Madoka asked.

"I've been traveling with Yuuna-chan, and I have been disguised like this most of the time," Konoka said. "We figured out we'd be safer if people thought one of us was a man. Yuuna didn't want to come since obviously she can't pass for a man, and we were worried her... ahem... assets would provoke the men here too much."

"I see..." Madoka said.

"But I've been harassed all the same!" Konoka made a pout. "Seriously, like almost a dozen fighters came to me and asked me if I was Yue's boyfriend! And they weren't asking over an interest on Yue!"

Yue smiled in an oblique fashion. "I like being unsexy and unremarkable. It actually makes my life a lot easier."

"Oh, Konoka, Konoka," Misa shook her head. "You'd have been safer coming here as yourself!"

Two large, muscular and well oiled shirtless men passed by their half open door, talking in low voices to each other and furtively brushing fingers over each other's torso.

"That's what happens when you lock good looking men together for so long, and they spent most of their time grappling and wrestling with few clothes on, it seems," Misora said.

"Nobody but Tosaka-san's two creepy friends have tried to touch us since we arrived," Misa explained. "Granted, that'd make sense with Misora-chan regardless, but to ignore Madoka and me? They have to be--"

"WELL, FORGIVE ME FOR NOT BEING A SEXY CHEERLEADER!" Misora said, punching her in the back of the head.

"Do you see now why Nodoka is so afraid of Kotaro spending so long here, and why Chisame insists Negi stays with us after battle hours?" Yue asked Konoka.

"I only hope we find Paru really soon," Konoka answered. "She'll love this place to bits!"

 

Action and Reaction.

"And..." Konoka hewed before daring to ask it. "Has Negi-kun told you already... about... you know..."

"Oh, the marriage? Yes, of course he did," Misa said casually.

Yue shifted on her chair, looking very uncomfortable.

"And... What did you say?" Konoka asked, not without hesitation.

"Can he walk again already?" Misora asked.

Konoka gasped. "What? Of course he can!"

"Well, now he can heal heckuva fast, after all," Madoka said. "Did he propose to you, Konoka-chan?"

"No," Konoka said bluntly.

"Would you accept if he did?" Misora asked.

"No," Konoka said even more bluntly.

"Good, good," Misa nodded and smiled.

"I take it, then... that you didn't accept either," Konoka said. "Because you were understandably mad at him."

"Oh, we were mad as heck, that's why we accepted," Misora said.

"??????" Konoka said.

"Konoka, Konoka, dear innocent Konoka," Misa told her sweetly. "I have known Mom and Dad for fifteen years. I know all the legal ways a woman can make a womanizing cad miserable for decades!"

"Dumping him would make it too fast and too painless!" Misora reasoned.

Madoka shrugged. "I'm just along for the ride."

Yue leaned aside, towards Konoka. "They'll stop being mad at him eventually... I hope..."

Konoka sighed. "Thank Kami-sama I'm a lesbian!"