Richard Castle, Watcher (Castle/Buffy) (Complete)

[Grosstoad]

I am using all the actors and actresses' voices in their respective castings while reading this.

Great job, man!

 

[Ack]

I am using all the actors and actresses' voices in their respective castings while reading this.

Great job, man!

Click to shrink...

I'm having a giggle just listening to Vi's lines in Felicia Day's voice.

She's kind of awesome.

 

[Ack]

Other suggestions for Castle mangling Sorenson's name:

So-and-so
So what now?
Steptoe-and-son
Sore-ass
Sockpuppet
Sonny-boy

 

[Starfox5]

New York, October 2009

"... yes, I'll see you in the morning." Beckett hung up and stashed her cell phone while Richard Castle was carefully not saying 'told you so'.

He had been correct - it had been Agent So-So. Sadly, the detective hadn't taken his bet. Unfortunately, the Fed had called because he had found an unregistered phone number in one of Miller's notes - probably dumb luck, the author thought. "It could be his drug dealer. Did he do drugs?"

"He didn't do drugs according to the autopsy. At least not the illegal kind," Beckett explained.

"Oh? Did he go for the organic variants? The kind of exotic herbs the government hasn't yet banned?" Castle didn't think so, the man hadn't had shown the - at least in Rick's opinion - typical signs for a new age or wiccan faith at his home. He had been invested in the occult, not in a religion.

"There were some trace amounts of an unidentified substance in his blood."

"That might have been the special Wendigo seasoning," Castle speculated, then blinked when the detective made a face and Vi grinned. "Too soon?" Apparently it was too soon for jokes about cannibalism. "Anyway, without the number, and the notes, we're reduced to the tiring way of investigating: Asking around." He sighed, and looked at Beckett.

"Stop the puppy dog eyes, Castle. I'm not getting you the number, or the files. I'll call you in if we're close to a demon, of course, but I'll not break the law." Beckett met his pleading gaze with a stern one.

"Any further, you mean," Castle corrected her, a bit petulantly. Now she and Agent Meddleson were an 'us' again? Rick didn't like that at all. Even though she hadn't rushed to the other man's side. "OK. I guess you'll be working the agent, and we'll be working the demonic underbelly of the city." He looked at Vi, who understood. They didn't need Beckett to get them the number, especially not if she - unknowingly - distracted the Fed while the Slayer did her thing.

"If Miller had any contact to this… 'demonic underground', will Will find demons?"

Castle didn't quite grin. Agent Will-Will… that had a ring to it. He coughed. "It's not easy to make contact with them, not without someone who introduces you." Or a Slayer to bust some demon heads.

"Like the mob?"

"Exactly!" He smiled widely. "Nikki Heat will be facing the vampire mob in the next book, hindered more than helped by a bumbling and possessive Federal agent."

"There's not exactly a vampire mob though, right?"

"No, there isn't. Though some vampires form families, and others form gangs, it's rarely on a size to rival a real mob. Mind you, those can grow a lot, if left unchecked, but they don't really form the sort of network a syndicate needs."

"Why? Wouldn't the old vampires have a network of contacts, and 'minions'?" Beckett didn't quite wince at the use of that word, but it was clear she didn't like it. "Is the racism against vampires that bad?"

"Mostly. Vampires are seen as the weakest demons, half-breeds, and the few that make demons fear them are seen as individuals, not vampires. But apart from the Slayers knocking them down, vampires don't play well with each other. As long as they are weak, minions will obey and follow their sire's lead. But once they grow in power, they tend to either split off, or try to replace their sire." Castle explained.

Vi demonstratively yawned. "Thank you, professor." She turned to the detective. "Few vampires live that long. And those who do don't want to make waves either; if they started a big organisation, they'd attract the kind of attention that shortens their lifespan. My attention." She shrugged with a grin.

"Watch that ego, Vi, we still need room to breathe in here," Castle admonished her. She stuck her tongue out at him.

Beckett shook her head, but seemed either amused or reassured. Either was good. He smiled at her. "So… since you seem to have picked up a stalking ex, would you like to use my guest room, to avoid getting ambushed at your flat?"

"Why do I think I'd trade one stalker for another in that case?" Beckett answered, drily, while getting up.

"Because your trust in others has been damaged by Agent Stalkinson's possessive and utterly unprofessional attitude?" He winked at her with his best smile.

That got a laugh out of her. She still didn't stay though.

*****​

"So, he's taken all of Dr. Burton's notes?" Rick asked while brewing two coffees, one for himself, and one for Vi.

"Yes. He took it to the evidence locker in the Precinct. Can you sick your lawyers on him?"

Rick was rather certain this latest fed-shaped hitch in his plans was due to Agent Jealouson having taken offense at Rick telling him off the day before. He shook his head. "No. If it's considered evidence, there's nothing they can do."

"We won't let him get away with that though, right?"

"No, we won't." He smiled over his cup at his Slayer. "But we'll have to look into the underground angle first. He had to have gotten supplies, and information. That sort of 'unsealing ritual' can't be done with household supplies."

"Well… that sounds like Watcher work." Vi finished her coffee. How she had managed that without scalding herself, Castle couldn't tell; he was still taking careful sips from his cup. "I'll be…"

"Right next to me," Rick cut her attempt to escape off.

"Wouldn't you rather have me make sure the Fed won't put the moves on the detective?" Vi asked innocently.

Rick opened his mouth to agree, then shut it. "Nice try. No, we'll both be safer if you're with me instead of getting into trouble on your own."

"So, I'll get into trouble with you then?"

"We won't get into trouble. You're simply insurance."

*****​

"Who names their shop 'Wicked Goods'?" Rick shook her head.

"Hey, it's a good pun!" Vi protested.

"For a teenager who still thinks 'wicked' is a cool word."

"Well, if you're too old to understand teeangers, you're too old, period."

Rick coughed. "I'm a parent of a teenager. I'm contractually required not to understand them."

"Well, in your and Alexis's case the traditional roles are more like reversed."

"So, I'm the teenager? I guess that means I'm not too old then." Castle grinned at his Slayer and entered the shop. It was run by a rather smarmy horned demon who went by the name of 'Jack'. Castle rarely visited the shop since it tended to keep their business to the harmless crowd of wanna-be witches. But it was on the list, so to speak.

"Welcome to the…" the way Jack trailed off when he recognized Castle and Vi didn't bode well for their investigation.

"Hi Jack. It's not a social call, we've got a few questions about your business. Namely, your list of customers."

"That's confidential information, Mister."

"He just pushed a button under the counter," Vi stated, moving forward.

Before she reached Jack, two huge, hulking minotaur-like demons entered from the back, roaring something, probably an insult, in a demonic language Rick wasn't familiar with.

"Kill them!" Jack shrieked, and turned to run out the back.

He wasn't fast enough to escape a Slayer though. Vi vaulted over the counter, grabbed the demon and threw him to the side. Then she had to dodge a wild swing from one of the monsters.

Rick really wished he had his flamethrower with him when the second demon charged at him. The Watcher dove to the side, between two shelves with crystals and pots. The monster didn't manage to stop and crashed into another shelf, toppling it, and sending more down to the ground, and littering the floor with broken merchandise. The demon managed to run over two such selves, then stumbled over the third, and crashed into the wall.

Rick had drawn his pistol in the meantime, and put a few rounds into the monster's back and head, though the bullet wounds looked superficial. The demon roared and stood up, red eyes almost glowing above its flat nose, looking none the worse for wear.

Rick shifted his aim downwards, and emptied his magazine into the monsters groin while he moved back towards Vi, almost stumbling over Jack, who was trying to crawl away. The minotaur screamed in pain - at least Rick hoped it was pain - and folded over, but it didn't go down. Instead it seemed to be recovering. Rick kicked Jack while he was at it, sending the smaller demon to the floor again, then glanced at Vi. The Slayer was busy pulling her sword out of her demon's chest.

"Vi! One mad demon incoming!" Castle shouted while he jumped over the counter, which was hopefully solid enough to stop another charge.

"What did you do to him?" Vi asked while she turned around, then ducked when what looked and sounded like half a ton of demon hit the counter, cracking the solid wood. Snarling, the Slayer jumped on the counter and slashed at the monster while it was still reeling. Castle, standing up himself and reloading his pistol, noted that the sword had a far better effect on the demon than his bullets had - the monster must be vulnerable to the cold iron, or the silver the blade was inlaid with.

Vi kicked the demon in the head, sending it tumbling back into the wreckage of the shop's main room, and followed it with a yell. Castle saw Jack trying to escape again, and stopped him with a few warning shots. "Stay put, Jack," he ordered while Vi and the demon tore through the room.

*****​

"So much for 'simply being insurance'." Rick shook his head at the destruction Vi had visited upon the 'Wicked Goods' magic shop and some of its non-human employes.

Vi shrugged. "Well, you know, with the deductibles today, I thought you should get something out of your insurance."

Rick laughed at that, then stared down at the proprietor of the shop, who was cringing in a corner, staring at the carnage. "Now, Jack, about those customer records…"

"They'll kill me if I snitch!"

Who was he talking about? "Who are they? Who are you afraid of?"

Jack shook his head, one of his broken horns falling off completely. "No… no… No!" Suddenly, he jumped up and charged at Rick, screaming like a madman. Before the demon reached him though, Vi was there, kicking him back into the wall with enough force to crack the plaster.

"Now, that was a mistake, Jack. Then again, you did try to have us killed already…" Rick trailed off when he saw the demon choke on green blood, then shiver and grow still.

Vi smiled weakly when he glanced at her. "He was coming right at you… and I didn't think he was that fragile…"

"Well, can't be helped now." Castle ransacked the shop's ledgers and packed them into a bag with the shop's logo on it. "We'd not have let him get away with attempted murder anyway. But a bit more information would have been nice. Now let's get a fire started."

*****​

Once outside, Vi looked at the flames flickering inside the shop. "You really like burning things down."

Rick shrugged. "Who doesn't? And it's the easiest way to hide what really went on there." A message to the right people ensured that this fire wouldn't be investigated.

"So, what was that about? Demons don't usually suicide by Slayer, do they?"

"Only the dumbest vampires. But those weren't." Rick answered. "I don't know yet. But they wouldn't have tried to kill us over some material used to unseal the Noose Demon. Unless something else is going on here."

"You'll sending it to London then?"

"Yes. Scans at least." Maybe they'd find out more about the Noose Demon as well, while they were at it. Rick wouldn't mind someone else doing part of the work, after he got almost killed over a simple question.

He'd still have to do the scans himself though - Alexis was at school, and Vi wouldn't be in the right state of mind to do such work right after a tough fight.

Which was actually a good reason to do the scans himself, and soon.

 

[Grosstoad]

Suicide by Slayer.

. . . At least Slayer only slays you, I think that's Jack's thought on it.

 

[Starfox5]

New York, October 2009

"So, what did London say?"

Richard Castle looked up from his computer and saw Vi enter his office. "I only finished mailing the scans a minute ago."

"Perfect timing then!" Vi grinned and sat down on his desk. The Slayer had changed into exercise clothes upon their return, and had worked out for a few hours while he did all the scans.

"More suspicious minds than mine would think it's a bit too perfect," he stated, blandly.

Vi chuckled, neither confirming nor denying anything. "It's not as if you'd want me to help. You know how Slayers are with computers. We break things too easily. Just ask Buffy."

"I noticed that all the breaking happens when it's related to 'boring work', and never when it's related to surfing the web or chatting." Castle stared at her.

Vi coughed. "Well, just a coincidence, I'm sure. Just ask Buffy!" She grinned and fiddled with one of his paperweights - that one was a figurine carved out of a tusk from a Brz't Demon.

"I should, actually," Castle said. Vi didn't even flinch, though. The girl knew Buffy would back her up.

He sighed in defeat. For now - he'd get back at her. Probably. His computer beeped - he had mail. He looked at it and frowned. "That was a quick response… oh."

"What's the matter?" Vi put the bone figurine down.

He looked at her with a rather forced smile. "The scoobies are coming to New York."

Her response wasn't printable.

*****​

"Buffy, Willow, Xander, Dawn, Faith and Spike? Why are they coming to New York? Did someone tell Buffy Manolo Blahnik has a sale?" Vi was pacing in his office like a caged panther.

"That would explain Buffy, but not the rest of the Scoobies," Richard Castle said. He was calmly sitting at his desk, as befitted a Watcher. And fighting the urge to pace himself.

"Giles would know that they'd need everyone to keep Buffy from spending all of the Council's budget on shoes!" Vi shook her head.

Rick chuckled. "To be fair, they are usually cheaper than new swords."

That earned him a glare from the redhead. "That's a business expense! I need weapons to kill demons with!"

"More swords than you can carry, much less wield?" Castle raised his eyebrows. He still hadn't the Spock move down, but he was getting closer. Or so he hoped.

"Weapons break. It's best to have several replacement blades ready for emergencies." Vi sniffed. "That's called being prepared and thinking ahead. Something you keep telling me I should be doing!"

"You're past the 'being prepared' point, and way into the 'being obsessed' point." Castle's wallet and credit cards would agree, if they could talk.

"It's still cheaper than your midlife-crisis bait car!" New York's resident Slayer folded her arms and huffed at her Watcher.

"Does that mean you'd prefer a station, or a mini van? Your wish is my command!"

"You wouldn't!" Vi looked shocked. "Consider what your dear detective would think!"

"She'd certainly applaud my choice of a more economical and sensible car." Women liked responsible men.

Vi gaped at him, then scoffed and looked away. He counted that as a victory in the eternal struggle between wise Watcher and foolish Slayer. Then Castle sighed. "Joking aside, the Scoobies are not coming for a shoe sale. Apparently," he said, glancing at the message he had received, "we've stumbled upon something matching a prophecy."

Vi's comment was, once again, very expressive, but not fit to be printed.

*****​

"Hi Dad, hi Vi!"

"Hi, Alexis!" Castle looked up from his laptop and smiled at his daughter. "Take your bugout bag, you're leaving New York at once!" He pointed at the duffel bag he had placed next to the door.

"What?" His daughter stared at him, then narrowed her eyes, opening the bag. "Did you go through my things and just picked random clothes? I have an emergency travel bag ready under my bed!" She picked the bag up and walked towards him.

He should have expected that Alexis was prepared, Castle realised. His daughter was the responsible one of the family, after all. "We have no time to lose. Your plane leaves in…" he looked at the laptop "... two hours, and with traffic as it is, you don't have that much time to reach the airport." He blinked. "Vi! You're driving Alexis!"

"What? Dad, have you gone crazy?" Alexis put her hands on her hips, scowling at him. "I'm not setting a foot outside the apartment until you tell me what's going on!" Apparently, his daughter was not quite as sensible as he had thought.

"The Scoobies are coming to visit," Vi said from the table, where she was cleaning her weapons.

Alexis's face lit up, then she scowled again. "And you're sending me away? Dad! Stop trying to be an overprotective parent, or I'll really go to England for college!"

Ordinarily, Castle would have been overjoyed at the hint that his daughter was not planning to study abroad, but they were pressed for time. "Honey, why do you think the Scoobies are visiting?"

"There's a show sale at Macy's, and they don't want Buffy to waste all of the Council's money without getting their cut?"

Castle blinked, then shook his head. "No, our latest case is related to a prophecy." He realised two things as soon as he had finished: He was starting to think like a detective, and this had been the worst thing he could have said.

"A prophecy? Dealing with New York?" Alexis sounded far too eager. She was supposed to be the sensible one of the family! "Dad! You can't expect me to leave in the middle of a crisis!"

"Yes, that's exactly what I can expect you to do!"

"No, you can't. You'll need all the help you can get." Alexis shook her head, reminding him far too much of her mother when she was being stubborn. Or his mother when she was being foolish.

"That's what the Scoobies are coming for. They'll also need your room." Castle folded his arms.

"What?" Alexis glared at him. "We have a guest room here, and Vi has three guest rooms!"

"Hey! Two of those rooms house my sword collection! I can't trust Buffy or Faith near it, they'll try to nab the best blades for themselves!" Vi supported her Watcher, as a good Slayer should, Castle noted with satisfaction.

"They wouldn't do that!" Alexis said.

"Faith would!" Vi said.

"She'd give them back… eventually."

Castle couldn't help but noticing that his responsible, young daughter seemed to be far too familiar with Faith. He couldn't let himself be distracted, though. "Alexis… this is too dangerous for you. Please, for me, take a trip over the pond, and visit your mum. I couldn't bear losing you."

"No." Alexis folded her arms. "I'm not going to hide and worry about you. I'm old enough to help with apocalypses."

"You're not old enough! You're barely fifteen!" Castle said.

"I'll never be old enough in your opinion, Dad!" She huffed.

"Well, of course not!" Castle blinked. "I mean…"

"I know what you mean! You don't want me to become Watcher. You don't want me to follow in your and mum's footsteps. You want me to be safe and protected until I die from old age."

That was a very precise summary of Castle's plans for his daughter, if he was honest. Of course, he wouldn't admit that.

"But, Dad! I'm going to be a Watcher. I've been studying and training for years already!"

"What? Training?" For years? He had taught her to defend herself, any responsible parent would have done the same. And he had taught her about the supernatural threats, of course. But… Dear Lord, he had turned his daughter into a Watcher!

She made a very familiar dismissive gesture. "That's not important. Important is that you expect me to leave the city and do nothing while my family, my friends, and millions of people are in danger. I will not do that when I can do something to help, instead." She looked at him with a fairly decent imitation of what Willow called her 'resolve face'.

Castle realised that she wouldn't budge. And that even if he managed to tranq her and ship her to England - his desperate contingency plan - she'd return with the first plane. He muttered a curse under his breath.

"Dad!" His daughter frowned at him. "Don't curse."

Vi was laughing.

Castle sighed. "I guess I have raised you too well." He couldn't help but feel proud too, though.

"That you did, Dad," Alexis said, smiling.

Of course, Vi had to ruin the moment. "I thought you raised him?"

He glared at his Slayer while his daughter laughed.

*****​

 

[Asheram]

Good gods, I've missed this. <3
Welcome back.

 

[Prince Charon]

Ooh, this'll be interesting.

 

[Slayer Anderson]

Huh. I was all ready to get frustrated that someone necro-ed this.

Glad to see it going active again. I don't really read all that many Buffy fics outside of the occasional YAHF story, but this was a good exception to that rule.

 

[Starfox5]

Huh. I was all ready to get frustrated that someone necro-ed this.

Glad to see it going active again. I don't really read all that many Buffy fics outside of the occasional YAHF story, but this was a good exception to that rule.

Click to shrink...

It's the one story I let go on a hiatus. I finished all other stories in one go. I've been waiting to return to this for some time, now that I've changed my writing schedule.

 

[Starfox5]

New York, October 2009

"Did you order enough groceries for two more Slayers?"

"Yes." Richard Castle knew how much one Slayer ate - he paid Vi's bills, after all - so of course he had thought of increasing their standing order.

"Do we have enough doughnuts too?"

"Is that a trick question? You know those have to be fresh!" Castle narrowed his eyes at his daughter, who was smirking behind the list she had made. "I have bought enough of those abominations against nature that Xander loves to last a week, though." He pointed at a case full of Twinkies.

"That won't last two days," Alexis said, shaking her head.

"What?" Rick blinked, Xander wasn't a teenager any more, he couldn't… Of course the man could! Castle mumbled something uncomplimentary under his breath.

"Don't act jealous, Dad! Everyone's growing old!" Alexis frowned at him. "Besides, too many cakes are bad for you."

"Slayers are not growing old!" Vi cut in from where she was pushing furniture around - they'd need the large table for all of their guests.

Castle glanced at her. She was correct in that Slayers were not growing old. But that was because they died in battle before age could creep up on them.

"Did you order enough beer as well?"

"What?" Rick whipped his head around. "Beer?"

"Well… Faith is coming." His little angel shrugged. "And you know how she is after a night spent slaying."

"I don't, actually." Castle's experiences with Faith's habits was mostly based on secondary and biased - but usually trustworthy! - sources. He didn't think Rupert would be pulling his leg about such matters. "But you seem very familiar with her habits."

"Err… mum told me tales to warn me off?" Alexis was smiling just a bit too widely. He narrowed his eyes at her, and she looked away. He'd have to talk to Mary about this.

"Anyway, I think we've covered all important matters. We're ready for the Scoobies." His daughter tried to change the topic. Rick would have been proud for her finally acting not as straitlaced as her mother, but he'd have preferred if she hadn't have done that right when he needed her to be as responsible as possible.

"Nobody's ready for the Scooby Gang!" Vi said.

"If you're starting to quote Monty Python, know that I will retaliate with extreme prejudice!" Castle interrupted her.

"I think she would have said 'Nobody expects the Scooby Gang' in that case, Dad." Alexis helpfully informed him.

"She's always mangling our language, she'll mangle quotes as well." Castle ignored the indignant "Hey!" from his Slayer. As a successful author, he was the expert there.

"But you're wrong," Vi said. "You forgot one thing: Detective Tightass doesn't know about the Scoobies. And she's bound to visit regularly."

Castle winced. He hadn't known that when he had created their cover. Sometimes he was too clever for for his own good.

*****​

Detective Kate Beckett was a very observant person; she knew as soon as she had entered Castle's apartment that something was wrong. Something other than their current case, at least. "Alright, Castle, spill!" she said, right when he was about to greet her.

The author closed his mouth, then smiled. "Spill?"

She rolled her eyes. With all the stress at work, she wasn't in the mood for their games. Or any games. "Don't give me that innocent act, Castle. You're nervous, your daughter is nervous, and your not-girlfriend is fidgeting worse than usual. What did you do? Break into the evidence locker room?" He wouldn't feel that nervous about it, not unless they had been caught - and Will would have informed her at once if Castle or Vi had been seen doing something illegal.

"We didn't do anything!" Castle said. "You wound me, Detective!"

"Don't tempt me!" She glared at him. "What. Is. Going. On?"

"Ah." He cleared his throat. Stalling. "The leaders of the Watchers Council are coming to New York."

"Most of them, Dad, not all of them," Castle's daughter piped up.

Beckett smiled at the girl, then turned back to Castle. "Your superiors are coming to visit?" She smiled. "I understand why you're nervous; I'd be nervous too in your place." The Council was based in London, after all. She could just imagine how well British gentlemen would like Castle's usual attitude. Her smile widened. "And now you're trying to act all prim and proper, so you will not get reprimanded." That would be entertaining to see, she bet.

"Err… not exactly."

Beckett frowned. Vi was laughing so hard, she was almost falling off her chair, supernatural grace or not, Alexis was hiding behind her laptop, but her shoulders were shaking, and Castle… Castle was smiling smugly.

He cleared his throat again. "The thing is… compared to the, ah, delegation from London, I'm the prim and proper one."

"What?" She stared at him. Castle, prim and proper? Mister 'My daughter's the responsible one in my family'?

"They call themselves the 'Scooby Gang'," Vi said, still chuckling.

"What?"

They had to be joking, Beckett thought.

*****​

"An apocalypse? Your 'Scooby Gang' is coming to New York to prevent an apocalypse?"

Richard Castle had known that Detective Beckett's voice could reach that high a pitch. She must be really stressed, he realised. Time to calm her down. "Well… it's not really an apocalypse, that's just what we call events that could lay waste to a town or so."

"We also call the world ending events apocalypses, though," his Slayer cut in. Unhelpfully, as usual.

"But, this is not such a case. I think." He shook his head. The Scoobies would have been using Willow to travel otherwise. Unless, of course, time wasn't of the essence.

"What?"

"Dad! Vi!" Alexis scowled at both of them. "Stop trying to scare the Detective!" Igoring his protestations, Castle's daughter turned to Beckett and smiled. "The Scoobies are very experienced at dealing with such events."

"Like they dealt with Sunnydale?" Beckett had taken off her jacket, but she hadn't taken a seat.

Castle stiffened. That wasn't a topic he liked to talk about. And not just because, contrary to his expectations at the time, 'I have seen hell - no, really!' wasn't a good line to impress people.

"Sunnydale was on a Hellmouth," Vi said. "New York isn't."

"What are we dealing with then? Zombie plague? Pestilence demons? Giant Sea Monsters? Evil Witches?"

Beckett knew his works by heart, Castle noted, smiling. "Something like that," he said. "Nothing the Council's finest can't handle." He blinked. "Don't mention evil witches, though - Willow is sensitive about discrimination and stereotypes." And she was very verbose when she felt the need to lecture people.

"Oh, yes," Alexis nodded slowly. "Her rant about Harry Potter is very impressive. I used part of it in English Lit class."

"Willow?"

"Ah, right!" Castle grinned. "You wouldn't know. Willow is the Head Witch of the Council."

"Also known as the Red Witch. Or Darth Willow," Vi said.

"Don't call her that either! Darth Willow, that is!" Castle quickly said, glaring at his Slayer.

"That sounds ominous." Beckett was narrowing her eyes at them. "And… wait a minute! The Red Witch… Willow is Westlyn? The witch that ensouled a Master Vampire as her first spell? The witch that killed the knight threatening her family by bringing his castle down upon his head and sealed a Hellmouth?"

"Well… I took a few liberties when adapting her story to my books, but, essentially? Yes." Castle forced himself to keep smiling. He had received quite the lecture from Buffy and Xander during their stay at the Hamptons about using Willow as a character, or rather, about not using her since she was still dealing with her tragic past. While both had been cleaning their weapons. Subtle Scoobies were not.

Of course, shortly afterwards, Willow had taken him aside to 'help him with a few details about Wicca' for his portrayal of her in his books. With Kennedy cleaning her weapons in the background.

There were many reasons why he had taken so long to write that particular book. His sense of self-preservation was just one of them.

"Willow's a really nice witch!" Alexis spoke up. "She's one of the smartest people I know, and a great hacker too!"

"And she can turn a man inside out with a flick of her fingers, and can go toe to toe with a hellgod for several minutes," Vi said, smiling. "We'll squash that prophecy problem easily with her on the job!"

Neither Castle's nor Alexis' glare seemed to impress the Slayer.

"Anyway, apart from Willow, Buffy and Faith are coming, as well as Dawn and Xander," Castle said. "The two oldest - don't call them that though - and most experienced Slayers, the Council's Chief Linguist, and their Chief of Operations." Castle had heard that Xander didn't like his title, but his own proposal had been too silly even for the Scoobies.

"And Spike!" Alexis said, with a smile that was utterly inappropriate when talking about that vampire.

"Spike?"

"Ensouled Vampire," Castle said in a flat voice, glaring at his utterly unrepentant daughter.

"Rick's best friend," Vi cut in, grinning.

Beckett raised her eyebrows.

"He's not my best friend. He just thinks he is, since I saved his life in Sunnydale," Rick said. For a change, his glare had an effect on his Slayer and she looked apologetic - she should have known better than to bring up that event. He really did not want to remember Wood's screams as the man burned alive.

"Anyway, Spike's very old, over a century. He was a poet in Victorian London," Alexis said.

"An old-fashioned British Gentleman?"

Beckett looked both confused and angry when everyone else broke out in loud laughter.

*****​

 

[Ack]

Oh, god.

This is going to be glorious.

And a trainwreck.

So watched.

 

[Prince Charon]

To be fair, he really was a gentleman before Drusilla made the worst night of his life the last.

 

[The Halfa Wannabe]

Wonderful. I always love when I find a good Buffy crossover that remains true to all the characters.

 

[Visual Pun]

I've just read the whole thing through from the beginning.

The only thing wrong is you missed the threadmark for the latest chapter.

 

[Starfox5]

New York, October 2009

"Rick!"

Richard Castle's eyes widened when a brown-haired girl - woman - rushed towards him right out of the gate, her arms spread wide. He barely managed to brace himself - he had been leaning against a pillar in a casual and cool pose - before she wrapped herself around him as if she was a limpet mine. Quite an apt comparison, he thought, since the girl embracing him as if he was her long-lost lover was Dawn Summers. Sister to the very experienced, very dangerous and very protective of her last family Buffy Summers. Bane of demons and prospective lovers of Dawn everywhere - not that Castle would fit under either of those labels.

"Let me guess: Buffy was annoying during the flight, and you decided to annoy her back at the first opportunity, right?" he whispered, trying to pack as much of his own annoyance into his words as was possible.

"Right in one!"

Obviously, that hadn't been enough. He could hear Dawn smile as she kept hugging him. And he could hear Vi chuckle.

"Dawn! Rick!"

And there came the Slayer. Carrying two oversized suitcases as if they were empty, and not loaded down with shoes, clothes and weapons, and with an expression that would send demon lawyers flying in panic - had sent demon lawyers sent fleeing, according to the latest gossip.

Rick managed to free one of his arms and wave at the tiny blonde. "Hi, Buffy!"

"Since Dawn will be obviously rooming with Richie Rick, I call dibs on her room."

"Hi Faith. Dawn will not be sharing my room." Much less his bed, Rick thought. Buffy wouldn't kill him - probably, maiming might still be on the list - but Detective Beckett might not feel so merciful. Or, worse, turn to the waiting Agent Soandso.

"She certainly will not! Or we'll send her right back to London - by FedEx!" Buffy was crossing her arms and looking far more cute than threatening to anyone who didn't know her.

Dawn released Rick and turned to her sister. "Pf!" She stuck out her tongue at Buffy in the display of maturity Castle was used to from the leaders of the Watchers Council. He was so glad Beckett had to go to work and didn't see this.

"Rick! Mate! How are you doing? Looking great!"

Once more Castle found himself being hugged far too familiarly, and once more he felt tempted - though in a quite different way. "Hello Spike," he managed to say while Vi chuckled again.

"You know, this will be great - I love New York! Once we've dealt with this apocalypse, I think I'll stay a bit longer. We can paint the town red, together - not in the bloody sense of course!"

Not for the first time, Castle wondered why he hadn't let the damn vampire get staked in Sunnydale.

*****​

"I can't room with her!"

"Why not? Afraid you'll fondle me in my sleep and wake up satisfied, B?"

"I'm not rooming with Buffy! Sharing a bathroom with her while growing up was bad enough!"

"That's rich! You were usually still sleeping when I got up!"

"You are a Slayer, you don't sleep!"

"I do sleep!"

"Yes, in class!"

"Rick, mate - don't you have a balcony? I need a smoke."

"Rick! I told you, Xander can room with me!"

"Not according to Anya, I can't!"

"Or would you rather room with Spike?"

"Dad, tell them that the rooms are fixed. We're not changing them on a whim."

Rick covered his face with the palm of his hand. Not for the first time, he wondered how Rupert was still sane. It had to be karma - after having been blessed with a precocious, sensible and responsible daughter, he was now faced with a bunch of Scoobies.

*****​

"Alright. Now that we've finally settled in," Buffy stood at the head of Castle's dinner table, glaring at an apparently unrepentant Dawn, "let's plan how we'll wreck another prophecy!"

Alexis raised her hand.

"Yes?"

"What exactly does the prophecy say?"

"Ah, right!" Buffy's chuckled. "There's apparently a cult that's trying to free a big bad who was sealed millennia ago." She sighed. "And of course, they botched the job, and now the seal is weakening. 'And as the vessels' power grows, the prison's weakens'... blah blah blah." She dropped a large tome on the table and the librarian in Castle winced at how centuries-old books were treated by the Slayer.

"It sounds much more impressive in Greek," Willow added. "An epic poem, actually."

"Will - stopping the apocalypse first, demon poem literary criticism later, OK?" Xander smiled.

"Sorry!"

Buffy cleared her throat. "Anyway, that frog-tonguey demon you encountered is apparently part of that cult, and they are using rituals to drain the power of the seal into the people."

Castle noticed Willow shuddering and mumbling something about truly evil frogs.

"I knew we should have killed the demon! But no, let's not listen to Vi!" Castle's Slayer pouted.

"Does that mean that they are using the seal for the ritual?" Castle asked, ignoring Vi's outburst.

"The seal itself is a bit big." Willow opened the book and tapped her finger at an illustration of a pentagram made of metal, big enough for a man to lie down in. "But they are likely using sympathetic crystals for the rituals."

"Damn." Castle frowned. That would have greatly shortened the available locations for their ritual. They still could track such a delivery, with a bit of luck - the demons must have smuggled that in, and that meant … he winced when he realised what that meant.

"But, those 'vessels' need to be descendants of the ones who sealed the demon in the first place. So, they can't just use anyone for their icky rituals," Willow said.

"And how many of those people are around?" Castle wasn't an expert, but a bloodline reaching few millennia back probably meant there were millions of suitable vessels around.

"Not too many. Most of them lived isolated in a village on the Crimean Peninsula. It was destroyed during the Russian Civil War and most of the survivors fled to New York."

"That's the Russian Connection then!" Castle smiled. Then he remembered their other problem. "Ugh. What are the chances our Noose Demon is hunting down the potential vessels before they can be used in a ritual?"

Judging by the grim looks the rest of the table exchanged, he bet that they were rather high.

*****​

A few hours later, things were, well, not exactly under control, but the Scoobies who had taken over Castle's apartment - Vi's apartment seemed to be only used to sleep, train, and store weapons - had settled down a bit. He saw the redheaded Slayer enter and slowly - for her - walk to the couch, sitting down with a groan. She looked rather battered, and not quite as cocky as usual.

Castle tried to hide his smirk as he grabbed a few Mars bars from the fridge and walked over to his Slayer. For once, it wasn't him nursing bruises after a training session.

The redhead glared at him, then grabbed the chocolate bars and started to wolf them down. Castle sat down next to her and grabbed his smartphone. "I take it you had an intensive workout, hm? Good training for the real thing, right?"

The glare from his Slayer intensified as she recognised her own words. She didn't say anything, though - not that she could with her mouth full of chocolate and caramel. Castle snapped a picture while acting as if he was looking something up - 'Hamster' would make a good caption for a little bit of blackmail.

"Laugh it up, old man! I'm certain they'll want to spar with you too."

"Buffy and Faith?" He shook his head. The two Slayers usually focused on the 'minis', as Faith still called the Slayers activated after her. "I trust you didn't embarrass us." That earned him another glare. Castle could get used to this. He reached over and patted Vi's shoulder, then winced when she hissed in pain. "Sorry! Sorry! Just remember: They have a few years of experience on you, and, well… they're the chosen two."

Vi snorted. "I'll just have to train harder!"

Rick nodded. "Indeed." That should motivate Vi for month - Slayers were competitive like no one else he knew.

"With you," Vi added, smirking.

Castle winced. He hadn't considered that. Well, he'd deal with that once the current crisis had been solved.

"Where's Alexis?"

"Showing Willow and Dawn her library and her computer." And hopefully not bringing the federal cybercrime taskforce down on his head. His daughter should know better, Castle thought.

Vi turned her head towards him, then winced and rubbed her neck. "You know what that sounds like," she said with a smirk.

He glared at her.

The Slayer smirked, then suddenly sniffed the air. Castle could see how her nostrils flared and she tensed up. "Blood."

"It's just Spike preparing his weetabix." Castle still didn't know if the vampire actually liked the cereal, or simply liked the reaction he usually received when he poured blood over it.

Vi made a face. "Isn't it a bit… late for that?" It was almost dinner time.

"I'm a vampire, we get up in the evening." The blonde undead said, sitting down in the seat across of them.

"It's the middle of the night in England," Castle said. He didn't know if vampires suffered from jet lag. Maybe one of the new watchers would investigate that.

"Well, would you get up at dawn?" Spike grinned at him, then started eating his bloody cereal.

"Good point," Castle said. He certainly wouldn't get up early unless there was a case, or Alexis needed him - a Slayer and her Watcher usually worked at night.

"I can't wait to hit the town again, see what changed since my last visit. Oh, those were the days..." Spike sighed, then blinked. "Well, but for the fact that I was an evil mass-murdering soulless demon then, of course."

"Of course," Castle said in the dryest tone he could manage.

Spike nodded, then wiped his mouth with the back of his hand, which he then licked.

Castle didn't flinch. He had seen worse, and more disgusting.

"So, when will your bird get here?" Spike put the bowl down on the couch table. Rick noticed Vi staring at it.

"She's not my bird," Castle said.

"He just wishes she was his bird," Vi added, grinning.

Castle didn't deign that with an answer. Beckett was warming up to him. Slowly but surely.

When he heard the doorbell ring, he told himself that again.

*****​

 

[The Halfa Wannabe]

I was so excitedand now I'm sad again. Oh wrll. At least next chapter we'll get to see Beckett's reaction to blood covered Weetabix.

 

[Visual Pun]

Snap, crackle and blood...

Just your average Vampire breakfast, really.

 

[Starfox5]

New York, October 2009

Detective Kate Beckett had had a tiring day at work. Will had spent almost as much time asking her about her 'relationship' to Castle as on the job of tracking down a serial killer. And she had spent most of her time dodging her ex-boyfriend's questions - damn Castle for making Will think they had a relationship! And damn herself for going along with it! - as well as worrying that Will would actually find what he thought was a vigilante killer. And all that on top of worrying about a 'not really apocalypse' happening in the middle of her city!

Before she had known Castle, she hadn't worried about parts of her city disappearing in a bottomless pit, or ending up in hell. And a zombie apocalypse had been a silly movie plot, not something to actually prepare for.

After parking her car, she leaned forward, resting her forehead on the steering wheel for a moment. To think that as a child, she had actually wanted to be a Vampire Hunter, or a Loremaster. "Be careful what you wish for, indeed," she muttered.

Well, at least the leaders of the Watchers were here now, and would take care of the matter. Despite the circumstances, she was looking forward to meet the woman who had been the inspiration for Branda - Buffy Summers. Of course, Castle had claimed that compared to the Council's leaders, he was a stuffy tweed-wearing librarian, but that was hyperbole. Had to be - Castle was one of the most immature men she knew, most of the time. This was likely an attempt at a tasteless prank - in his books, the characters often made jokes in dire situations, to break the tension. 'Don't mention her height, she's sensitive about it', indeed!

She chuckled, remembering a few particularly entertaining scenes from her favourite books as she entered the building Castle lived in.

*****​

Beckett was greeted at the door to Castle's apartment by a short blonde girl in skin-tight designer jeans, a top that showed far more skin than appropriate for the weather in New York, and high-heels that added at least 5 inches to her height. She still was short. "Hi! You must be Detective Beckett! I'm Buffy Summers! Oh, those are nice boots, where did you get them? They go so well with your slacks!"

Kate blinked. That was Buffy Summers? She had trouble believing that. It wasn't the height, or lack thereof - Vi proved that physical size and mass was irrelevant when it came to a Slayer's power. No, it was the appearance, and even more so, the attitude. This wasn't a Slayer, dressed in leather and acting like a big cat out on a prowl among the prey, this was a… Californian valley girl on Prozac. "Hello." Kate managed not to stare - at least not too much.

"Buffy! Stop that!"

Beckett saw a taller, brown-haired girl - about 20 years old, Kate would guess - walk towards them. She was frowning.

"What?" The blonde turned around.

The other girl smiled at Beckett. "Hello. I'm Dawn Summers. Please excuse my sister; she refuses to grow up and tries to act like a teenager despite her advanced age."

"What advanced age?"

Now the blonde sounded more like a Slayer… a teenage Slayer, though, Kate thought.

"Do you prefer old age?" Dawn looked down at Buffy. "You're almost thirty!"

"Pardon?" Kate narrowed her eyes, but otherwise controlled herself. Thirty certainly wasn't old!

"Ah… oops?" Dawn had the grace to blush.

"Please excuse my little sister's horrible manners," Buffy said with a wide smile. "She grew up with wolves, and then lived in a library for years. We're still trying to teach her not to bite people when she wants something from them."

"That's funny coming from the girl who tried to raise me - and who went all cave woman on her friends once!"

"That was all the fault of demonic beer, and so not the point!"

Right when Kate was looking around for a hidden camera, Alexis arrived. "Detective Beckett! I thought I heard the door."

Kate smiled at Castle's daughter. "Hello, Alexis." When the two girls in front of her turned around, she quickly mouthed 'who are they?' behind their back.

The redhead's smile seemed to grow a bit forced. "I see you met Buffy and Dawn Summers. Please have a seat, I'll fetch Dad - he's been hiding in his office ever since this afternoon." There was more than a hint of disapproval audible in her tone, too, Beckett thought.

"Hey - I'd have been hiding too, if Faith had hit on me!" Buffy said, chuckling.

"Oh, please!" Dawn rolled her eyes. "That's so not true!"

"What? It so is!"

Beckett almost expected the girl - the Slayer - to stomp her foot, judging by the blonde's pouting expression. If that was the most experienced, and most powerful Slayer, then New York was doomed!

"Rick's just acting coy," a voice cut in.

Kate looked up and saw a woman descend the stairs from the upper floor. Even if she hadn't known it was a Slayer from the fact that the girl had overheard them from that far away, the way the woman moved would have given it away. And she was wearing leather - tight leather. Like a biker. In a calendar. And she had the attitude, like Vi. Just more… impressive. As was her figure.

The woman walked up to the group, swaying her hips just a bit too much. And her smile was a bit too blatant too, Kate thought. She was trying too hard.

"You must be the cop," she said. Boston, Kate thought.

Kate met the woman's eyes. "And you are?"

"Faith." The girl slowly, provocatively, looked Kate over, from her face down to her boots.

If the Slayer was trying to unnerve Kate, then she needed to step up her game - the detective was used to worse, much worse, from perps and suspects. And Castle. So, she returned the favour. That seemed to amuse the girl.

"Oh… I bet you're fun in bed." Faith even licked her lips. "All that tense posture, all that stern attitude must be hiding some kinky urges, am I right?"

"Faith!" Dawn Summers glared at the Slayer. Turning to Kate, she smiled again. "Please excuse her. She's, well… Faith."

"I'm just checking out the competition, D. Nothing to it." Faith said, smirking.

"Competition?" Kate raised her eyebrows. Did the girl insinuate what she thought?

"For Rick."

She did. Kate should tell the girl that there was no competition, and no relationship. Or interest. She pursed her lips instead and stared at the Slayer. "Ah." Faith was acting a bit like Vi, Kate realised. Just… more so.

And Kate was used to Vi, by now. And she wasn't about to give in to either girl. No matter what it was about.

"Detective Beckett! You've met our guests already!"

And there was Castle, walking towards her with a wide smile - was that relief? she wondered - while Alexis trailed behind him, looking a bit stressed.

"Castle." She nodded curtly at him. This was, after all, entirely his fault. "Been hiding in your office, I heard."

"What?" He stared at her, blinking, for a second, then took a deep breath. "I was not hiding, I was working! Unlike some others who should remain anonymous, I might add." His pointed look at Buffy and Faith was anything but subtle. Kate blamed his mother being an actress with a flair for drama for Castle's tendency to overact.

"We were working!" Buffy said.

"Working out, yes. Which reminds me - I still need to check your fitness, Rick."

Faith's leer left not question in Kate's mind about how the girl wanted to check that. And that annoying author and demon hunter just smiled in response, instead of telling the girl off! Beckett couldn't resist. "Really, Castle? Isn't she a bit too… immature for you?" She ignored the mouthed 'Old' from Dawn. And the chuckling from Buffy.

"She was just kidding, my dear Detective," Castle said, with one of his more infuriating smiles.

"If she's coming with us when we kick demon ass, then I should check her fitness too," Faith said.

Castle blinked again and let his eyes wander from Kate to Faith and back. "Oh…"

"Dream on, Castle," Kate said drily.

"Oh, I will!" He was grinning widely and nodding his head.

Kate glared at him. That wasn't what she had meant. She ignored Dawn and Alexis whispering to each other and grinning at her. She was here to save her city. Not to… compete with Slayers for annoying authors. She already had enough of that with Vi, even though there was nothing to compete for in either case.

Speaking of… "Where's Vi, Castle?"

"She's still in her flat. Resting," Castle said.

"Are you going tweed on us, Rick?" Buffy stared at him. "You said 'flat', not 'apartment'. Oh my god! British-ness is a chronic condition! Soon I'll talk all stuffy-like and old as well!"

"Buffy!" Dawn palmed her face while Faith laughed.

And to think this girl was the model for one of Kate's favourite characters!

*****​

 

[The Halfa Wannabe]

Damn Spike for not being there snacking!

 

[Starfox5]

Damn Spike for not being there snacking!

Click to shrink...

He can't eat constantly

 

[The Halfa Wannabe]

He can't eat constantly

Click to shrink...

Well since we have no figures on what happens when a vampire feeds it's conceivable they don't get full and could feed constantly.

 

[Ack]

Starting the countdown to Beckett shooting someone. Possibly even a bad guy.

 

[Starfox5]

Well since we have no figures on what happens when a vampire feeds it's conceivable they don't get full and could feed constantly.

Click to shrink...

"Do you think we're made of money? We can't afford that much blood!"

Starting the countdown to Beckett shooting someone. Possibly even a bad guy.

Click to shrink...

She can shoot Spike - bullets won't hurt him. Unless they are Dragonbreath rounds.

 

[Starfox5]

New York, October 2009

"That was just one little slip of the tongue," Richard Castle said, shaking his head. "Ask my ex-wife - I'm quite far from being a proper Englishman."

"Shouldn't that be 'gentleman'?" Detective Beckett - Kate, he reminded himself - said.

She seemed to be annoyed with him, for some reason - even though the Scoobies had been the ones to annoy her. He pouted at her. "Are you insinuating that I'm no gentleman?" He put his hand on his heart and put on his best English accent. "You wound me, Detective!"

"Don't tempt me." Beckett's smile reminded him of a Slayer's. No wonder the two oldest Slayers had been trying to play their dominance games, which they still refused to admit to. Slayers!

"See? He's so going tweed!" Buffy said, nodding to her own words.

"There's nothing bad about acting a bit more mature," Castle's traitorous daughter said.

"Oh, I have no doubt that Castle can act mature. But being mature?" Beckett shook her head.

"Hey!" He was standing right there!

"He's plenty mature where it counts." Faith was not helping.

Rick cleared his throat. "I think we should sit down for dinner. The lasagna should be ready any minute."

"Oh! Dibs on the first casserole!"

"Buffy! You can't call dibs on that!"

"I just did!"

"Don't run inside!"

"There's enough for everyone!" Rick yelled after them. "But anyone other than me who touches the oven will be fed last!" Alexis would hopefully keep them in line if that threat was not enough. He turned to Beckett, who was - again - shaking her head. "So, you've met the two most experienced Slayers. What do you think?" He flashed his most charming smile at her. She glared at him with an expression that made him wince. "I'm sorry?"

"You should be," she said in a flat voice.

Once again he noticed how beautiful she was when she was angry. "I did warn you that the Scoobies do make me look stuffy." Even though he was entirely correct, she glared at him again. It was as if she was blaming him for all of this!

"You're trusting my city's safety to a bunch of…?" She trailed of.

Either she lacked the words to describe the Council's best experts and Slayers, or she remembered that Slayers had supernatural hearing, Castle thought. "I think you do not quite understand my situation, Kate," he said. "Coming here was their decision." And there was nothing he or anyone else with the possible exception of Rupert could do to stop them.

She seemed to understand, if the Russian swear words she whispered were any indication. "I'll need a drink before dinner."

"An apéritif? You wish is my command!" He opened his liquor cabinet with a flourish. "What's your favorite poison? I have a vast range of drinks to offer." Strangely, that didn't seem to impress her - she frowned even. And now she was staring at...

"Castle, why is there an empty blood bag in your liquor cabinet?"

Rick ground his teeth. He should have staked that damn vampire years ago!

Before he could explain that this was the fault of another of his house guests, the door opened, and Vi, Xander and the demon he was just about to mention entered.

Vi's nostrils flared. "Mh… right on time!" his Slayer said, smiling widely. "Dinner will be served in an instant."

"Dinner will not be served until I know why there's a bloody blood bag in my cabinet!" He had to watch his temper - that had been an awful wording.

"Sorry, mate, I must've forgotten to throw the thing away." Spike was shrugging "No harm done, right?"

"You picked the lock on my liquor cabinet," Castle said. He had paid a lot for this lock, too.

"Well, I didn't want to bother you for a key. You seemed tired and all." The vampire flashed that evil smile of his.

He took a deep breath. "Kate - Xander, Spike. Xander, Spike - Detective Beckett."

"Hi!" Xander said. He was, Castle saw, dressed for work in black cargo pants and a matching turtleneck.

"Charmed, luv," Spike said, grinning. He was wearing his customary t-shirt and pants and looked almost respectable. "We've heard a lot about ya."

Castle whipped his head around to stare at Vi.

His Slayer smiled widely, and very insincerely. "Only good things?" He started glaring at her, and she fled to the dinner table.

Fortunately, Beckett seemed to be more amused than angry. Until Spike grabbed the blood bag, sniffed it, and then tried to suck the remaining blood out of it. Then she looked simply disgusted.

"Is that safe to drink?" Xander on the other hand sounded fascinated.

"I mixed it with enough vodka, even if I were still alive I'd be safe." Spike licked his lips.

Castle gasped, and reached down for his best vodka. The bottle was empty!

And Beckett seemed to think this was funny! She was chuckling!

"I need a better lock," Castle mumbled.

"Yes, you do. This one is not challenge for Alexis any more," Spike said.

Castle blinked. What did… "Did you teach my daughter to pick locks using my liquor cabinet?"

"Well, she's not yet ready to pick the lock on your safe."

"Alexis!"

*****​

During dinner, Alexis was ignoring Castle's glances as she had ignored his earlier words. It was really unfair - when Castle was putting his foot down and acting like a responsible parent, his daughter didn't heed his advice. Even though it should be obvious to everyone that learning how to pick locks from Spike wasn't a good idea!

"Most locks are not any better than the one on Rick's liquor cabinet, A. If you can get the booze, you can go places too."

Everyone but Faith, Castle amended his thought.

"I'll show you how to fool electronics locks tomorrow. It's really easy with the right tools!"

And Willow.

"If the lock's too complicated, or if you're in a hurry, thermite can open the door without much noise."

Castle gaped at Xander. "You're planning to teach her how to use explosives?"

"And make them too - they're very useful," the man answered, between two forkfuls of lasagna. "There are not many demons the right amount of boom won't kill."

"Am I the only one who is concerned that my daughter is learning how to become a burglar and a bomber?"

"Yes?" Buffy asked, momentarily stopping her attempt to secure a whole casserole for herself.

Castle didn't like being the straight man. Not at all. Straight, as in the straight man for a joke, not the other meaning, of course.

"Don't be a hypocrite, Dad! You learned the same in England. Mum told me all about it. And about the flame traps." Alexis scowled at him. Then she smiled at Beckett. "If we all weren't just hypothetically speaking, of course."

"Of course," the detective said, with that smile on her lips she usually showed when she thought she had gotten one over Castle. Or had actually gotten one over him.

Castle frowned at her. She was supposed to be the straight man, or woman, here! And just as with his attempts to woo her, she wasn't cooperating. Much, at least - he was certain that he was making progress in romancing her. She was hardly threatening to shoot him, anymore. He sighed. "I was quite a bit older than you, Alexis."

"Which just means that at worst, I'll be tried as a juvenile, instead of as an adult." His daughter smiled far too widely at him.

Castle wasn't giving up easily where his daughter's future was concerned. "But even so, having a rap sheet will impact your career prosp…" He blinked, then palmed his face. "And of course, the Council wouldn't care about that."

Alexis smiled. His daughter was far too smart for her own good.

He decided to cut his losses, and change the topic. "So, how's Agent Soandso trying to meddle in our case this evening?"

"Will's checking into the Russian connection of the murders," Beckett said.

"Oh? Like in the French Connection? Is he traveling to Moscow?" That happened in the sequel, but an author and demon hunter could hope. Agent Meddleson freezing in Moscow, was a pleasant thought.

Willow chuckled, but other than her, no one seemed to get his joke. Well, Beckett did, but she was frowning at him. "You really need to watch more classic movies."

"We do!" Xander said. "Just last week we watched 'Surf Nazis Must Die'."

And everybody laughed. Castle didn't pout. But he felt like it.

"Will we have to do something about this Will?" Buffy asked. "Is he one of those obsessed cops who don't ever quit a case? Like the one in that movie with the other one?"

"The only obsession he has is our dear Detective here," Castle said.

"Oh! You're a honey trap?" Willow asked, then winced. "I mean… in a totally decent and non-sexist way, of course."

"I'm not a 'honey trap'," Beckett said in a voice so cold, Castle shivered.

"He does seem to be a bit more interested in rekindling your relationship than would be professional," Alexis pointed out.

Castle smiled at his daughter. He ignored the glare he received from Beckett. Of course he'd talk with his daughter about that!

Beckett frowned, then shook her head. "He won't compromise a case for anyone."

"That could be troublesome." Buffy pursed her lips and grabbed the last casserole to help herself before Vi managed to take it.

"Is he cute?" Faith grinned. "Just asking. If he is, I could distract him."

"You're not his type." Beckett was unsheathing her claws, Castle thought.

"He's a bit old," Vi said. "Not bad looking, but stuffy, in an American way."

"Just kidding. Cops are not my type." Faith smiled at Beckett. The temperature dropped a few more degrees.

Time for dessert, Castle thought. Hopefully, the tiramisu would help calm things down.

Unless they started arguing over it.

*****​

 

[Tranquil Zebra]

The word 'catfight' seems demeaning, as if though it makes trivial an actual, serious conflict. That is, until one realizes that this too is a catfight, and getting catty is no small matter.

Spoiler: Catfight

Seriously, this is awesome, and I love the interpersonal dynamics. Spike is hilarious, of course, and I'm very much a proponent of him teaching Alexis how to pick locks. I tried it myself, but the padlocks we own are far too precisely machined for a beginner, and as it was just a passing fancy, it ended with that.

 

[RJC1212]

Oh god!!

This is funny!

Poor Rick.....

 

[Starfox5]

New York, October 2009

They had argued over dessert - of course. Rick Castle felt like sighing. And Alexis had scolded him for not making enough tiramisu - as if it was his fault those women ate like starving hyenas. Not that he'd ever say that out loud - Xander and Buffy were a bit sensitive about those animals. He didn't know why - not even Dawn would tell him the story behind that. At least Detective Beckett wasn't exchanging barbs with Faith any more - though her barely-polite reaction to the dessert wars was not much of an improvement.

"Alright. Dinner's over. Let's talk business." Buffy put down her fork. "We've got a demony cult to find, an evil ritual to stop, a possibly misguided but likely evil vigilante demon to stop, and a number of Russians to keep from soaking up demon-power and freeing the big bad." She blinked. "And an apocalypse to stop, but that's kind of a given."

"It's Russian Americans, I think," Dawn cut in. "Most of them should be US citizens by now, due to having been born here."

Buffy waved her hand. "Same thing. We need to find them before the evil demon cultists inject them with the seal's power." She blinked. "That sounds kind of kinky…" she turned to Willow. "They don't do that kind of ritual, right?"

Willow looked confused. "What kind of ritual?"

"Like, you know, the non-bloody virgin sacrifice."

"She means tantric rituals. Sex." Dawn rolled her eyes. "For a girl with her love life, she's astonishingly prude at times."

"What do you mean, 'my love life'?" Buffy glared at her sister.

"Technically, those virgin sacrifices are bloody as well, though not in the fatal sense," Willow said, a bit too loud - she probably wanted to stop the brewing argument between the two Summers sisters, Castle thought.

"I don't think we should get into those sorts of details. Unless those are the rituals we are talking about," Xander said.

Spike scoffed. "If there's no blood, then it's not a sacrifice. It's all in the blood."

"Of course you'd say that," Xander said. "But you're kind of biased."

"It's actually not a tantric ritual," Alexis said. "Those cannot be used to syphon power off a seal, unless that seal was human enough to have sex."

Castle resolved to find out who had taught his little girl about Tantric rituals, and teach them the error of their ways. Unless, of course, it had been Willow. The last time he had complained to the Red Witch about her lessons, he had received an hour-long lecture about parenting, gender stereotyping, earth lore, Christian oppression of Wiccans, and a dozen other things he had forgotten.

"Well, the ritual they are using isn't one of those," Buffy said. "Rick mailed us the scans of the grimoire they used."

"Why did you start to talk about it then?" Dawn said, glaring.

"I was just remarking about the wording."

"You have a dirty mind."

"Do not!"

Xander cleared his throat. "As much as I like a Summers catfight," he said, his tone making it clear he didn't like it at all, Castle thought, "we are kind of on a timer."

"Right." Buffy nodded. "We have Russian Americans to find and protect before the mad noose demon kills them to keep the other demons from freeing the big demon. There are way too many demons in this sentence."

"And in this city," Vi added.

"Just need to cull them, luv," Spike said.

"That would be much easier if they were not hiding among innocent and not so innocent bystanders," Rick's Slayer complained.

"Focus, folks!" Xander said.

"Before we can protect them we need to find them. And since we can't track them magically without their blood, we'll have to look through the immigration archives," Willow said. "Unfortunately, the electronic archives don't cover all the files yet."

"We can get you some blood from the hanged victims," Castle offered. "Unless the blood needs to be fresh." He didn't fancy Willow doing her magic where an impressionable young innocent girl was around, but they had to save those people."

"Fresh and freely given is best."

"So, we find one, then persuade them to donate some blood."

"I can do that!" Spike said. "I'm kind of an expert."

"Not that kind of persuasion, Spike," Dawn said, frowning.

"I can do the other kind too," the vampire said, leering. That earned him glares from most of the table.

"Right. I vote for another plan than setting Spike on poor innocent people." Xander raised his hand.

"Motion passed!" Buffy declared.

Castle glanced at Beckett. She had been remarkably silent so far… Ah, she was still dealing with seeing the Scoobies in action. He patted her hand. She glared at him - no gratitude there.

He sighed. "So… who breaks into the archives, and who talks to the local mob?"

"The mob? You want to talk to the mob?" Beckett said, sharply. She was back to normal then.

"They might know where the seal the demons smuggled in is," Willow said.

"I think it's best if you tackle the Russian angle, Detective," Castle said. "You speak Russian, and the mob might not react well to a cop asking them."

"You think a cop breaking into the city archives is a better idea?"

Castle wondered why the woman always managed to make his plans sound bad.

*****​

"If this goes wrong I reserve the right to say 'I told you so'," Castle said as Vi, at the wheel of his Shelby, took another turn a bit too close for comfort.

Beckett didn't answer, to his surprise - she should be used to Vi's driving style, by now. He looked over his shoulder, struggling slightly with his seatbelt, at the detective. She was looking out of the window with an unreadable expression. Or at least an expression he hadn't seen before. "Detective?"

"What?" She whipped her head around and glared at him.

He was relieved, sort of - he knew that expression. "Are you having second thoughts? We can still drop you off at the archives."

"No, Castle, I'm not having second thoughts."

"I didn't think so, actually." When he saw her frown at him, he quickly added: "Not in a negative way!" Although she was, maybe, a bit too stubborn for her own good. "So… what's eating you?"

"I was looking at the city. All those people, living their lives, ignorant of the danger they face."

Rick nodded. He had had similar thoughts, at times.

Beckett went on: "And then I thought that the only thing standing between them and a violent death at the hand of some magic monster was a bunch of people stuck in their teenage years."

Castle had had thoughts like that as well, but he'd be damned before he admitted that. The Scoobies had earned his respect, no matter their sometimes - often - infuriating antics. "They are not actually immature, you know," he said. "It's their way to cope with the pressure they are under."

Vi nodded. "They've been risking their lives since forever."

"Since high school, actually, but that must have felt forever," Castle said. His attempt to add some levity died under the glares of both women. "Everyone's a critic," he mumbled under his breath, which at least made Vi grin. Louder, he said: "The city out there, the people, living in ignorance of the danger they are in? The Scoobies have seen that each day, since over a decade. They grew up on a Hellmouth, and fought demons and worse for years, with very little support from anyone." He sighed. "They've suffered and sacrificed so much, yet hardly anyone will ever know. And they know that if they fail, just once, it could mean the end of a city, or the world." Castle shook his head. "So, they joke and act up to unwind." There were other reasons behind their behaviour, but there was no need to go into that, not now, not here. Some things you kept in the family. And Beckett wasn't family. Not yet, he added.

"You've been doing this for a long time too, Castle."

He forced himself to chuckle. "Oh, I wasn't at the frontlines. I was a librarian, an author, and then quit to be a father. I can assure you, my dear detective, that I was my charming, witty self before I joined the Watchers Council."

"According to your ex you two were hunting vampires whenever possible in London. And you certainly were on the frontlines in Sunnydale," Vi added.

"And you seem to get into fights quite regularly, ever since I've known you," Beckett added, staring at him.

He wanted to make a joke, but he couldn't. Not about this, not about Vi's risk. So he shrugged his shoulders. "Vi keeps me safe."

Beckett stared at him for a few moments longer, then turned her head to the side and stared out of the window again. No one said anything for a while, but astle caught Vi smiling at him.

He smiled back.

*****​

"Here we are! The 'Alfredo', favourite restaurant of the man responsible for most of the clandestine business at the docks!" Castle announced when Vi drove past the restaurant's front, looking for a parking spot.

"'Clandestine business'? It's crime, Castle. Organised crime," Beckett spat out. "Don't romanticise the mob."

"Oh, I'm aware of that," he said. "But they do romanticise themselves: 'Alfredo'? Small Italian restaurant? Family business? How cliche can you get? If I used that in my books, the critics would crucify me!" He shook his head. "This mob boss has to have a peculiar sense of humour."

"In my experience, few criminals have any sense of humour," Beckett said as Vi parked the car.

"I think that's because you usually meet them under very serious circumstances," Castle said. He wouldn't be that funny either if he was about to be arrested. Well, he'd try, of course! He blinked. "Just to make sure: You're not thinking of arresting Marconi, right? We are here for information, not to start a fight." Crucial information.

"We won't start a fight, but we'll finish it if anyone else starts!" Vi declared, checking her Glock.

When he saw that Beckett mirrored his Slayer's action with her own gun, and nodded in agreement, Castle wondered if he should have picked another assignment. "Just let me do the talking," he said.

He hoped the lack of opposition meant the two women agreed with that.

*****​

 

[Tranquil Zebra]

'Alfredo'? Small Italian restaurant?

Click to shrink...

It would have been funny if the Bratva operated from the restaurant, though. With the Russian connection, that's where my mind went when the mob was mentioned.

Also, isn't the Marconi family mainly operating out of Gotham? Shame it's not Marcone (Dresden Files) running the 'clandestine enterprises' in this city, and is it just me or are mafia names in fiction quite similar?

 

[Starfox5]

It would have been funny if the Bratva operated from the restaurant, though. With the Russian connection, that's where my mind went when the mob was mentioned.

Also, isn't the Marconi family mainly operating out of Gotham? Shame it's not Marcone (Dresden Files) running the 'clandestine enterprises' in this city, and is it just me or are mafia names in fiction quite similar?

Click to shrink...

Actually, I just picked the name at random. Never read Dresden files.