[RWBY] RWBY Shorts

[Bev]

Ah, our favorite murder Loli.

 

[AndrewJTalon]

Velvet Scarlatina marched up to Jaune in the deserted hallway outside the cafeteria like a woman on a mission from God. Her ears were pinned flat against her head in full battle mode, brown eyes blazing, cheeks already pink with a mix of fury and something suspiciously close to embarrassment.

Jaune, balancing a tray of suspiciously lumpy cafeteria mystery meat, offered a friendly wave.

"Oh, hey, Velvet! What's—"

"Why is he bullying you?!" she demanded, planting herself in his path and jabbing an accusatory finger at his chest hard enough to make him juggle the tray.

Jaune blinked rapidly. "Eh?! You mean Cardin? Look, it's not a big deal, he's just—"

"Why are you just taking it like some kind of spineless noodle?!"

"Well, I was going to—"

Velvet steamrolled right over him, voice climbing an octave. "He used to bully me, you know! He yanked my ears! Called me 'animal' like it was an insult! Do you have any idea how traumatic that is for a proud Faunus?!"

Jaune winced in genuine sympathy. "Yeah, that's awful, and totally not okay, but—"

Suddenly, Velvet threw her hands up, ears flopping dramatically with the motion, and unleashed the bombshell at full volume:

"I'M THE HOT BUNNY GIRL, OKAY?! HE'S SUPPOSED TO BE MY TSUNDERE HUSBAND WHO SECRETLY HAS A THING FOR EARS AND ACTS ALL GRUFF BUT BUYS ME CARROTS AND CALLS ME CUTE WHEN HE THINKS I'M NOT LISTENING!"

Jaune's brain blue-screened. His mouth opened. Closed. Opened again. The tray tilted dangerously; a glob of mystery meat plopped sadly onto his shoe.

"I… huh? Wait, tsundere—what?!"

Velvet leaned in, face now scarlet but undeterred, poking him repeatedly in the chest like she was hammering home a manifesto.

"Listen here, you—you absolute twink! Cardin Winchester is mine! I've got dibs! I've been cultivating this enemies-to-lovers arc since he got here! So you'd better grow a spine, stand up to him, and make him leave you alone—or I swear on every carrot in Remnant, I will break both your wrists! He's MINE, got it?!"

Jaune's hands shot up in frantic surrender, tray abandoned on a nearby windowsill. "I-I don't like him like that! At all! Zero interest! Negative interest!"

"GOT IT?!"

"GOT IT! CRYSTAL CLEAR! MESSAGE RECEIVED!"

"GOOD!"

Velvet spun on her heel with military precision, ears flicking once in triumphant satisfaction, and stormed off down the hall.

Jaune stood rooted to the spot, staring after her, face drained of color.

He looked down at the sad meat glob on his shoe.

Then up at the ceiling, as if pleading for answers.

"…Are all Huntresses completely insane," he whispered to the empty air, "or am I just cursed?"

- - -

A few weeks later, the Beacon courtyard was bathed in late-afternoon sunlight, students milling about between classes, the air filled with the usual chatter of missions, weapons, and weekend plans. Cardin Winchester stood near the fountain, shifting his weight awkwardly, his massive frame looking uncharacteristically small. He'd rehearsed this a dozen times in his head—thanks to Jaune's unexpected backbone and a few hard lessons in humility, he was finally doing the right thing.

Velvet Scarlatina hopped into view—literally, with a light bounce in her step—her ears perked up as she spotted him marching up to her. Her cheeks turned pink with anticipation.

Cardin cleared his throat, rubbing the back of his neck. "Uh… Hey, listen, An—Velvet. I'm sorry about the ear tugging and the name calling. It was messed up. I promise I won't do it anymore."

Velvet froze mid-step, ears twitching like radar dishes picking up an incoming missile. Her big brown eyes went wide as saucers.

"Wh-What?!"

Cardin, mistaking her shock for lingering hurt, pressed on earnestly—because for once in his life, he was trying to be a decent human being.

"It was wrong, and I—"

"YOU'RE BREAKING UP WITH ME?!"

The courtyard went dead silent. A nearby first-year dropped his scroll. Dove Bronzewing, lingering with the rest of Team CRDL a safe distance away, choked on his water.

Cardin's jaw dropped. "Huh?!"

Velvet's face crumpled into tragic melodrama worthy of a Mistral soap opera. Her ears drooped like wilted flowers, hands clutching her chest as though he'd stabbed her with a rusty spoon.

"WHO IS SHE?!" she wailed, voice cracking into full theatrical soprano. "WHO'S THE WHORE WHO STOLE MY MAN?! Was it that redhead from Combat Class? Or the one with the hammer?! NO ONE CAN LOVE YOU LIKE I CAN, CARDIN! NO ONE UNDERSTANDS YOUR BROODING SOUL AND SECRET SOFT SIDE LIKE I DO!"

Cardin's face cycled through confusion, panic, and sheer existential dread. His team edged farther away, Russel muttering, "Nope, not getting involved in this one."

"B-Breaking up?!" Cardin stammered, hands up like he was warding off a Grimm. "We were never— I was just apologizing! For being a jerk! I don't even— There's no one else!"

Velvet wasn't listening. She'd gone full tragic heroine—tears welling, lower lip trembling, one ear flopping dramatically over her eye.

"You tugged my ears because you secretly liked them! You called me 'animal' because it was your cute nickname for me! We were supposed to have a enemies-to-lovers arc! Slow burn! Mutual pining! You were going to carry me bridal-style after I saved you from a Beowolf and then we'd share a passionate kiss in the rain!"

Cardin's brain short-circuited. His mouth opened and closed like a fish drowning in air.

"I… pulled your ears because I was an asshole?" he tried weakly.

Velvet gasped, clutching imaginary pearls. "Don't lie to me! You can't just throw away our future like this! We were going to have a spring wedding with carrot cake and everything!"

Sky Harris, watching from the sidelines, leaned over to Lark. "Ten lien says she challenges him to a duel for his heart."

Lark shook his head. "No bet."

Cardin, face now the color of a ripe tomato, backed up a step. "Velvet, I swear, I'm just trying to say sorry! No breaking up! No other girl! I'm not— We're not— There was never a—"

Velvet pointed a trembling finger at him, tears streaming freely now. "You'll regret this, Cardin Winchester! You'll come crawling back when you realize no one else will tolerate your terrible flirting and your weird obsession with maces!"

She spun on her heel—ears flopping with righteous fury—and stormed off, leaving a trail of bewildered students and one utterly shell-shocked Cardin standing in the fountain's spray.

Team CRDL finally approached their leader, who looked like he'd been hit by a Bullhead.

Dove patted his shoulder. "So… that went well?"

Cardin stared into the distance, voice hollow.

"I think I just got dumped by someone I never dated."

From a nearby bench, Coco Adel lowered her sunglasses, smirking at Velvet's dramatic exit.

"Girl's got commitment issues," she muttered to Fox. "Or commitment fantasies."

Cardin slumped against the fountain, soaking wet and existentially exhausted.

"Why is my life like this?"

 

[Bev]

And those who say bunnies are peaceful animals, never had a pet bunny.

 

[ExFelineServer3]

Not a lot of people have seen a pissed off rabbit, much less a pissed off jackrabbit!

 

[Azzy Rael]

…. Some how Coco or any of her team never managed to convince her Cardin was just a stupid racist? Like, in the others where she does get with him it seems like everyone is aware of her kink. This… well Cardin doesn't look good for being a racist and a moron, her team doesn't look good for not clearing this up before it got this far, and Velvet doesn't look good for both assuming Jaune was 'stealing her man' and essentially using Cardin to get off on her kink.
Without major punishment for that whole…. Whatever that is, even the fact she's a kinky bunny girl puts her in the baalbuddy territory because even using that dumpsterfire for warmth is gonna have you inhaling toxic fumes.

 

[IvanR1314]

…. Some how Coco or any of her team never managed to convince her Cardin was just a stupid racist? Like, in the others where she does get with him it seems like everyone is aware of her kink. This… well Cardin doesn't look good for being a racist and a moron, her team doesn't look good for not clearing this up before it got this far, and Velvet doesn't look good for both assuming Jaune was 'stealing her man' and essentially using Cardin to get off on her kink.
Without major punishment for that whole…. Whatever that is, even the fact she's a kinky bunny girl puts her in the baalbuddy territory because even using that dumpsterfire for warmth is gonna have you inhaling toxic fumes.

Click to shrink...

. . . . Baalbuddy's curse of Thirsty Women inflicted on Huntresses and Huntresses-In-Training? ALL THE BAD DESISIONS THAT HAPPENED IN CANON MAKE SENSE NOW! No good Stress Relief means Bad Decision making!

 

[ExFelineServer3]

At that point…THE POWER OF ASLAN COMPELS YOU, AWAY FROM ME!!!!
I abide by the two wisdoms of (1.) Don't fuck around at work nor your apartment complex. And (2.) Try not to stick your dick in CRAZY! Usually, you'll live longer.

 

[NightDranzer]

And those who say bunnies are peaceful animals, never had a pet bunny.

Click to shrink...

About as cuddly as chihuahuas in my experience. And their thumping hurts like a bitch, particularly when they decide to stomp in your nuts. Damned near had rabbit stew for dinner that day.

 

[Gur40]

Stolen From Tumblr

Spoiler: JNPR Rule 1 and 2

arc-misadventures2 . 8h
Knowing Is Half The Battle
Jaune: Remember team: Knowing is half the battle!

Ren: What is the other half?

Jaune: EXTREME VIOLENCE.

Nora: Fuck yeah!

Pyrrha: NOOOO!

---

To Early But Funny

Spoiler: Hallowen

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Wait a Minute

Spoiler: Faunus

Zexapher • 10h ago
But also, Blake is Jaune's super secret offscreen best friend.

HaziXWeeK • 10h ago

The "we never talk on screen but actually the best of friends and she's his nephew's godmother"

Zexapher • 10h ago
'Keep it subtle, Blake. Don't try to make it obvious that you really really want to know more about Jaune's sister and all the dirt you can hang over Jaune's head.'

Also Blake when Saphron is introduced:

also stolen from Reddit

Spoiler: Adam Who

Voidmage713 • 10h ago
Ruby, counting: . . . Velvet, Sun, Ilia, Blake, Blake's Parents, Marrow, Neon, That Guy With The Mole Hands, Mikado Lem, Tyrian-

Jaune: What are you doing?

Ruby: Counting all the Faunus we've at least met.


HaziXWeeK • 10h ago

Yang: there's also Adam.

Ruby: who?

Yang: you know, the guy with horns and red and Blake color scheme.

Weiss: who?

Yang:... The guy with a similar semblance to me and has and SDC on burned into his face.

Weiss: Yang, are you sure you didn't just make a random character with connection to all of us?

Yang: huh?

Ruby: I mean, red and black scheme? Me. Horns, Faunus? Blake. Your semblance? You. And SDC connections? Weiss.

Blake: ....omg you never met adam

---

If Not Protag Why Protag Shaped

Spoiler: Squire to Knight

He Really is the accidental main character

Spoiler: shippers be like

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Ace Ops Vs Ren Talk No Jutsu

Spoiler: Bitch in here

and then there is being Oscar

Spoiler: exist so Jaune suffers less

wait... could Aura Amp Stop The Merging and Return Oz his Magic?

 

[Gur40]

If Neo eavesdropped on a conversation of Ruby admitting she didn't kill Roman, would she have stopped?

Spoiler: Truth

---

How Would You Feel If Team RWBY Got Maiden Powers In V10-12?

Spoiler: Maiden RWBY

ironically the butterfly effect happened 4 times, Cinder smart enough NOT to put a Grimm Parasite inside her body being the first 1 it;s a good fic

---

Can Weiss Summon a Nevermore?

Spoiler: Wings

She never does in the show to my memory? If they did it's probably be the one they killed when RWBY was formed

---

R_WY definitely practice poses in the mirror or against each other

Spoiler: team posing

Weiss would pose with them in the later volumes but not early beacon

---

it's not a war crime if it's Grimm

Spoiler: or Grimm worshippers

I thought it was great how they approached these things so matter-of-factly. Not because it is great mind you, but rather because of how grey the line can become so easily when you're scared and have a Canadian whispering war crimes in your ear /j.

Pyrrha Ruby and Jaune creed
I just love Grimm killing obsessed Ruby

Spoiler: Gremlin

the manga were she's a lil gremlin are peak

---

role swap salem

Spoiler: still better

An immortal Salem that believes in people and is trying to rule the world from the shadows as headmistress while people attacking her when she rule openly, still believes in people

Oz is a drunk who tells people the dark truth but just thinks humanity sucks so just like canon!

---

How Would The Adam Cult Dress?

Spoiler: All Red or Black?

black and red?

---

i hate late canon so much

Spoiler: Ruby just done

JJJwhovian • 3y ago

Ruby: "I'm getting rid of Grimm best I can BECAUSE I care about the future sis! Do you care? Because now I'm starting to think you don't."

Own_Beginning_1678 • 3y ago

Ruby: Good God Yang do you even know what this job is? Did anyone here? Are you all going to sit there and BITCH at me, day in and day out, because we're finally, FINALLY doing our jobs? Because if that's the case, just let it all out. Go ahead. Whine it all out of your system. Because guess what? Tomorrow we're gonna do the same thing. And again. And again. Why? Because I am you GOD DAMN LEADER, THAT'S WHY! Because I've had it up to here with three of my "Elders" going off on moody sidequests while a band of Beouwolves mutilate a family. I'm tired of not doing what I was born to do. You all had your little sidequests in mind, but not me. That, THAT is why I'm in charge. Because I am a HUNTRESS. I hunt, I kill, people sleep safer and grimm are too scared to leave their holes.

Can CRWBY Just Not Suck? This is literally the bad writing from that He-man show that became a joke... savage he-man was cool tho

Spoiler: Negative Wins

 

[AndrewJTalon]

• Name: Irene Catherine Arc
• Allusion: Natasha Romanoff (Black Widow), Irina Jelavić from Assassination Classroom, Catherine (sister of Joan of Arc)
• Naming Process: Irene is of Greek origin, meaning "peace," a deliberate irony for a woman whose life has been defined by violence and who now fights to protect the innocent.
• Age: Late Thirties
• Background: Irene was only eight when her parents, Jonathan and Elizabeth Arc, were killed in a Grimm attack on their caravan. While her older siblings pursued dangerous careers to support the family, young Irene helped raise her infant brother Trey and discovered a gift for the piano, performing publicly to earn extra money. At fifteen she was accepted into the prestigious Miss Zelen Preparatory Academy for Young Ladies in Lutetia on money provided by Arturia, Isabel, Brand, and Alexander. The academy was secretly a recruitment and training ground for the Velvet Glove, a Spider-aligned spy and assassin network. Headmistress Juliana Zelen used her Semblance to brainwash Irene, transforming the gentle pianist into a cold, highly trained operative skilled in seduction, martial arts, infiltration, sabotage, demolition, firearms, and interrogation. Her Aura was unlocked and her Semblance, Fortissimo, made her lethally effective. At twenty, the Arc family—led by Arturia using government favors—launched a daring raid with Isabel, Nick, Arjun, Saia, Brand, Alexander, and Shirou to rescue her and destroy the academy. Most of the staff were captured; the remaining network was left to law enforcement. Irene recovered slowly but refused to return to a quiet life. She joined Vale's Foreign Intelligence Agency to ensure no other child would suffer what she had. She operates under the cover of a traveling Vytalian and music teacher, code named "Dame Blanche" or "White Lady". Her family tried to dissuade her, fearing for her safety and soul, but she insisted—creating ongoing tension even as they remain fiercely loyal to one another. She has carried out numerous black operations for Ozpin's inner circle and has partnered extensively with Qrow Branwen. Their relationship is intensely flirtatious and built on absolute trust, yet both are too scarred to commit fully; they are "not together, but not together-together." To her nephew Jaune she is simply "Aunt Irene"—kind, elegant, and occasionally terrifying in ways he cannot quite explain.
• Race: Human
• Emblem: A black cross encased in a double circle-It is meant to evoke the Arc rainbow crest but when seen from a different angle.
• Weapon: Irene carries no named weapons; she has little sentimentality for such things. Her arsenal is mission-specific and includes suppressed pistols, garrote wires, combat knives, sniper rifles, flashbang and fragmentation grenades, electrified stun batons, and any improvised tools the situation demands. She treats every weapon as disposable and interchangeable.
• Semblance: "Fortissimo"
  • Irene can precisely control the volume and intensity of any sound she produces or that occurs within a short radius of her body. She can render herself and her movements completely silent for perfect stealth, amplify a whisper into a concussive sonic blast, or turn a single footstep into an ear-shattering explosion capable of disorienting or injuring targets at close range. The Semblance has a short effective radius but is devastating when combined with her training.
• Appearance: Curvy but athletic and graceful with the classic Arc blonde hair worn in a practical yet elegant ponytail and striking blue eyes that can shift from warm kindness to icy calculation in an instant. She moves with the poised, predatory elegance of a dancer.
• Outfit: In her civilian cover she wears modest but stylish teacher's attire—blouses, pencil skirts, and cardigans that hide hidden holsters and tools. On missions she favors sleek black or white tactical bodysuits or elegant evening gowns that conceal weapons and allow full range of motion.
• Personality: Warm and affectionate with family, especially her nieces and nephew Jaune, Irene radiates quiet maternal energy when off-duty. In the field she is cool, professional, and ruthlessly efficient, with a dry, flirtatious wit that surfaces most strongly around Qrow. She carries deep trauma but channels it into fierce protectiveness; she will not allow another generation to be stolen as she was. She is pragmatic to the point of cynicism yet retains a hidden core of idealism that keeps her fighting.
• Notes: Irene is one of Vale's most valuable deep-cover assets, having dismantled multiple Velvet Glove cells and other terrorist networks. Her partnership with Qrow is legendary within certain circles—deadly effective yet emotionally complicated. She remains a point of gentle contention within the Arc family, who worry she is still punishing herself for what was done to her, but they support her without hesitation. To the wider world she is simply a traveling teacher with a beautiful smile and a hidden past of steel and silence.

 

[AndrewJTalon]

It was funny how men became friends. Ren and Sun, Jaune had befriended them fighting for their lives in desperate situations. Cardin? Cardin had been a prick, they'd fought, and now they were cool.

So now, the four of them were sitting on the roof of the JNPR dorm, legs dangling over the edge as the sun dipped low over Beacon. All of them drinking some soda sent from Jaune's family in Radian... As Professor Goodwitch had taken the booze sent with it.

Cardin took a swig from his bottle and leaned back on his hands. "So… who's everyone taking to the dance?"

Sun grinned, tail swishing lazily behind him. "Got Blake to say yes. Took some convincing, though. She kept muttering something about 'love triangles' and 'not wanting to make things complicated.' I just told her we'd keep it simple. She still looked like she was calculating escape routes the whole time... But it's a win!"

Cardin snorted. "Sounds about right."

Ren, who had been quietly watching the clouds, simply said, "Nora."

The other three turned to look at him.

"…That's it?" Sun asked.

Ren nodded once. "That's it."

Cardin shook his head with a small smirk. "Big surprise."

"And you, Cardin?" Sun prompted. Cardin coughed.

"Ah, well... I-I asked Velvet."

Ren raised an eyebrow. Cardin scowled.

"She said yes! I'm trying to make up for stuff and-and she really likes Sam! I mean, once she got past the toddler with Aura who loves bunnies!"

More staring, and a few smirks. Cardin turned bright red. Jaune snickered into his jacket.

"It's to make up for being a dick, okay?! I don't like her like that!"

Sun coughed something that suspiciously sounded like 'tsundere.'

"Oh screw you guys!" Cardin growled, as the others chuckled.

Of course, after this...All three of them then slowly turned their heads toward Jaune.

Jaune, who had been hoping to avoid this exact moment, scratched the back of his neck. "I'm probably just gonna take Mia."

The silence that followed was loud.

Cardin was the first to speak, his voice flat. "That's the coward's way out, Arc."

Sun nodded in agreement. "Yeah, man. That's rough."

Ren didn't say anything, but the look he gave Jaune said enough.

Jaune frowned. "It's not cowardice. It's practical. If I pick one of them, it's gonna cause problems. We've got our first real training missions coming up soon. The last thing I want is to split the teams because of some stupid dance drama."

Cardin raised an eyebrow. "So your solution is to hide behind your four-year-old daughter?"

Jaune's ears went pink. "I'm not hiding behind her-!"

"Yeah, you are," Sun cut in, surprisingly blunt. "Look, I get it. You've got a lot of girls who like you. That's a good problem to have. But using Mia as a shield so you don't have to choose? That's not fair to her either."

Ren finally spoke, his voice calm but firm. "You need to pick one. And then let the others deal with it. Avoiding the choice isn't going to make things easier. It's just going to drag it out."

Sun nodded. "Exactly. It's not the end of the world if you pick someone. The teams are tougher than that. And Mia's gonna get bored at a dance full of teenagers anyway. She shouldn't be used as an excuse."

Jaune stared down at his hands, jaw tight. He knew they were right. Deep down, he'd known it for a while. But the thought of choosing one girl and hurting the others - especially when they all meant so much to him and to Mia - made his stomach twist.

"…It's not that simple," he muttered.

Cardin shrugged. "It never is. But you still gotta pick."

Sun clapped a hand on Jaune's shoulder. "Look, we're not saying it's gonna be easy. But hiding behind your kid isn't the answer either."

Ren gave him a small, understanding nod. "You're a good father, Jaune. But you're also allowed to want something for yourself."

Jaune didn't have a comeback this time. He just sat there, staring out at the darkening sky, the weight of their words settling in.

He took a deep breath.

"All right... I'll make a choice."

"Good," Cardin nodded. "Because I swear if you become an actual harem protagonist, I will murder you. Leave some for the rest of us!"

"You already have Velvet," Sun deadpanned. Cardin went bright red.

"I-I DO NOT! IT'S-I'M JUST NOT BEING A DICK!"

"Sure Cardin," Ren deadpanned, as Jaune sighed in a little bit of relief. Picking on Cardin got the attention off him...

But the issue remained.

And he had a choice to make.

 

[RustedSands]

Funny answer: Take someone like Goodwitch or Winter thinking they won't actually be romantically interested

 

[mgl1206]

wait... could Aura Amp Stop The Merging and Return Oz his Magic?

Click to shrink...

Probably not, and it's already too late to stop it, and also unlikely to return his Magic.

 

[mgl1206]

If they did it's probably be the one they killed when RWBY was forme

Click to shrink...

Doesn't Weiß have to kill it to be able to summon it? That's why she can summon an Arma Gigas. So I doubt she can summon that Nevermore.

 

[ThunderBasilisk]

Well this is definitely a part in the story they can branch into several different routes.

 

[Bofors40mm]

I mean the correct answer is to ask all 5 of them.
Or I guess the meme option of cinder