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[RWBY] RWBY Shorts

Reader mode
CountvonBarnOwl said:
Someone get the defibrillator before Weiss and Blake realize that the puns are contagious and their hearts give out.



Question, Talon. How is Blake's grammar when she's writing a fanfic? Like from the technical and stylistic writing standpoint, is she competent?
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Of course she's competent! It's the fact she writes with porno logic the whole time and a lot of purple prose that's her real problem.

New prompt idea, either for here of for the NSFW, Yang finds Ruby's "homework" folder, or her browsing history. She's almost as bad as Blake.
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Yang: "Oh God this is my fault!"
 
AndrewJTalon said:
Of course she's competent! It's the fact she writes with porno logic the whole time and a lot of purple prose that's her real problem.
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So she's a budding Jiraiya who needs to internalize the detrimental effect that surplusage has on poignancy, but it is fair to say that her trash is the farthest thing from garbage.

And just like that, we've got another prompt on our hands.

Somebody calls Blake's trash "garbage," or her filth "crap," by mistake. Blake is understandably miffed. She attempts to avenge her honor by catching whoever insulted her having some "me time," with one of her works. It does not go well.

Another idea I had while typing that one out is that Blake is not nearly as discreet about her identity as she thinks she is, and has a considerable social media following that she is completely oblivious to. This leads to a lot of people sharing her fics in Mantle because what with the hole in the wall there is only one way to keep the Grimm at bay, and she ends up winning the election by a landslide as a write-in candidate (the algorithm that Watts used to rig the count was not equipped for ALL of Mantle to be gooning like their lives depend on it - because they do). And the disaster that is Blake with real political power (every policy that she makes, which Ironwood agrees to backfires with catastrophic results (SHUT UP, YANG!)) but having the broadest platform in political history means that it is political suicide to go against her.
 
CountvonBarnOwl said:
New prompt idea, either for here of for the NSFW, Yang finds Ruby's "homework" folder, or her browsing history. She's almost as bad as Blake.
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Yang: "Down on the farm 4: hitting the hay? , blonde boy breeding?, taking the tsunderes?, homegrown harem?! What the fu-"

*Double checks*

Yang: "Written by redsniperwolf. Ok this is a little concerning but it's only a few."

*Checks the story list*

Yang: 70 completed stories?! , 20 in progress?!, official publications and merch store?!?!"

*Yang faints at the computer with the erotica on screen. Blake finds her.*
 
The Redeemed New
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    • Jaune: "Dad... Why can't I be a paladin like you? Join an order?"

    Nick: "Your mother wants you to be a doctor-"

    Jaune: "I don't want to be! I want to be like you and Mom! Heroes! Hunters! Why can't I be that?!"

    Nick: sighs "... You're very gentle, Jaune. Very kind."

    Jaune: "So that makes me weak?!"

    Nick: "No. No, kindness is what a knight should be."

    Jaune: "But... Your order... Isn't it of Saint Edmund the Just?"

    Nick: smiles "Yes. Edmund the Just. Edmund, the one who fought through three Grimm Ogres to break the White Witch's wand! Edmund, the strategist who aided his brother in the great campaigns!"

    Jaune: *grins* "Yeah!"

    Nick: "And he was also Edmund the Redeemed. He betrayed his siblings and Narnia to the White Witch. He fell for her lies, ate her food. Aslan died in his place. And he redeemed himself and Aslan forgave him. He didn't deserve it, but he received it. Just as none of us deserve Aslan's grace... But He gave it to us anyway."

    Jaune: "Oh..."

    Nick: "You are kind and warm and don't hold grudges. But... A warrior needs fire as well as kindness. And I don't know if you have that, son."

    Jaune: scowls "How will I know if I have it if you don't even give me a chance to prove it?!"

    Nick: "... That's true, son. Sometimes... You just have to go and take it. Prove yourself by disobeying the rules."

    Jaune: "Dad?"

    Nick: nods "Like Edmund... You'll have to take the initiative, and prove yourself. Show that you're more than what you've done. All paladins do, son."

    Later... Jaune runs out with armor and a sword and shield, and his luggage. He's running for the gates... Sneaks out... And heads for the train station.

    Nick watches him go. Tex stands next to him.

    Tex: "You know, you could stop him."

    Nick: "I could."

    Tex: "So, why not? Your wife's gonna raise hell."

    Nick: "I know."

    Tex: "Sooo... Why aren't you stopping him?"

    Nick: "Because he needs to find his strength."

    Tex: "He might die."

    Nick: nods "He might... But he will find his way. I have faith. After all... In the end, it's all anyone has."

    Tex: deadpan "And you also killed every Grimm between here and the train station."

    Nick: "Well, he's still my son and I'm going to do my best for him! I'm not a monster!"
     
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    • Had this pop into my head as a ozma vs Jaune kinda thing. Jaune is more a knight (yes even counting his semblance), and Ozma is a paladin. Since paladins are bound to gods and oaths.

    A knight is honor. Fighting for your home, your rulers, and the people below you. A defender at heart.

    A Paladin is something much crueler. A Paladin is Duty. You will kill in the name of your God. Men, women, monsters, and Martyrs.
     
    SharkCultist said:
    Had this pop into my head as a ozma vs Jaune kinda thing. Jaune is more a knight (yes even counting his semblance), and Ozma is a paladin. Since paladins are bound to gods and oaths.

    A knight is honor. Fighting for your home, your rulers, and the people below you. A defender at heart.

    A Paladin is something much crueler. A Paladin is Duty. You will kill in the name of your God. Men, women, monsters, and Martyrs.
    Click to expand...
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    A Paladin serving the actual Christian God with his full heart and soul, who follows the Bible, is a good man. And yes this can be terrible... If you're evil or serve an evil cause. Fear the wrath of the good man when he goes to war. For he has no more desire to be there any longer than he must... But he will finish the battle without hesitation or fear weighing him down.
     
    Jaune the Non-Plussed New
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    • For reasons unknown to all and sundry... Okay, Neo got her hands on some magic things Cinder took from Salem and wanted to try them out... A minor zombie apocalypse was now occurring around Beacon.

    Ruby: "AHHHH! THE DEAD! THE DEAD ARE RISING!"

    Port: "You know, I did say we needed to move that ancient cemetery. Why I remember the time the last-"

    Oobleck: "Yes Peter, very informative! I believe we should deal with this posthaste!"

    Yang: "SERIOUSLY?! ZOMBIES?!"

    Blake: "Are you scared, Yang?"

    Yang: "YES! VERY SCARED!"

    Blake: "Fair. So am I."

    Weiss: "I DID NOT SIGN UP TO FIGHT THE UNDEAD!"

    JNPR arrives... With shotguns and in Jaune's pick up truck.

    Jaune: "Hey guys!" shoots a zombie in the face "Need shotguns? I got a whole bunch!"

    Ruby: "Wha-Jaune?!"

    Yang: "Why aren't you freaking out?!"

    Jaune: "Oh, this? Pfft. This is kind of normal in Radian. Little early for Summerween but what can you do?" Shoots another Zombie in the head casually "Ruby, you probably want to support from range since you're a sniper. Weiss, mind supporting Nora? I don't want her getting too carried away."

    Nora: "BANZAIIIIII!"

    Pyrrha: "I got the buzz saws ready, Jaune!"

    Jaune: "Great! And Ren, targets of opportunity please!"

    Ren: "Sure!"

    Yang: "Wha-What am I supposed to do?!"

    Jaune: "Would you like chainsaw gauntlets?"

    Yang: "... Yes! Yes I would!"

    Jaune: "Sweet! Gotcha some! I know Ruby can make better versions but they're all I could find."

    Yang: "Sweet!"

    Ruby: "Well, thanks Jaune!"

    Blake: "... How are you this calm?"

    Jaune: "Again, used to it."

    Weiss: "You're used to zombie uprisings at your hometown?!"

    Jaune: "Papa Merlin and his benders, phew." Another shotgun blast to another Zombie

    Port: "Capital thinking, Mister Arc! You're getting an A plus!"

    Jaune: "Awesome! What in?"

    Port: "We'll think of something!"
     
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  • New
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    • RustedSands said:
    .....I.....I REALLY wanna see a Radian SummerWeen now
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    I did have an idea for Jaune to have an Aunt Pacifica Northwest who was happily married to one Dipper Pines who was a researcher of weird things around Radian but it got out of hand and I couldn't make it work. So instead, Radian is just host to a lot of weird supernatural stuff-Mainly because the Arcs kept bringing back souvenirs and marrying hot foreigners who brought weird stuff with them.

    Ruby: "Um... Jaune? What's that thing?"

    Jaune: "Oh. That's the Mirror of Untold Horrors. It will show you your deepest fears and give you many more besides!"

    Yang: "OH GOD! NO! NOOOOOO! A LESBIAN BIKER WITH A HOUSE FULL OF CATS?! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!"

    Blake: "I'M NOT THE SEXIEST CATGIRL?! I'M... OVERRATED?! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"

    Pyrrha: "I WOULD NEVER NTR JAUNE! NEVER! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!"

    Nora: "CARAMEL ON PANCAKES?! AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH! NOTHING MAKES SENSE ANYMORRRRRE!" *sobs*
     
    AndrewJTalon said:
    I did have an idea for Jaune to have an Aunt Pacifica Northwest who was happily married to one Dipper Pines who was a researcher of weird things around Radian but it got out of hand and I couldn't make it work. So instead, Radian is just host to a lot of weird supernatural stuff-Mainly because the Arcs kept bringing back souvenirs and marrying hot foreigners who brought weird stuff with them.

    Ruby: "Um... Jaune? What's that thing?"

    Jaune: "Oh. That's the Mirror of Untold Horrors. It will show you your deepest fears and give you many more besides!"

    Yang: "OH GOD! NO! NOOOOOO! A LESBIAN BIKER WITH A HOUSE FULL OF CATS?! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!"

    Blake: "I'M NOT THE SEXIEST CATGIRL?! I'M... OVERRATED?! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"

    Pyrrha: "I WOULD NEVER NTR JAUNE! NEVER! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!"

    Nora: "CARAMEL ON PANCAKES?! AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH! NOTHING MAKES SENSE ANYMORRRRRE!" *sobs*
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    Jaune: oh and that's the mystery shack! gruncle Stan owns it.

    Yang: Why do you call him Gruncle?

    Jaune: No idea! just...its best to ignore him

    Stan: HEY KIDS! WANNA SEE A DEAD BODY?!

    Jaune: Go go go. Don't make eye-contact.
     
    CountvonBarnOwl said:
    And the disaster that is Blake with real political power (every policy that she makes, which Ironwood agrees to backfires with catastrophic results (SHUT UP, YANG!)) but having the broadest platform in political history means that it is political suicide to go against her.
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    It could be intersting and probably more likely that the catastrophic results aren't actually Blake's fault, but Ironwoods.
    Blake is something of a princess, and would thus have political training and education, but Ironwood, despite being a good military leader (somewhat debatable) is absolutely terrible at politics (and that's actually canon) especially becaus he sees himself as the only possible savior.

    So every policy Blake makes is actually quite good, the other council members like Ironwood or Jacques have meddle with it and change some things that make it backfire, because none of them actually know how to write effective policy or the widespread and long-term consiquences of their implementation.
    So Blake has to fight tooth and nail to ensure Atlas doesn't get destroyed by these greedy, powerhungry idiots (just like most real politics).

    Yang would absolutely still make fun of her though, but it would also be playful (a bit catlike, ironically).
     
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    SDC Laws
    ib4d89brz3lf1.jpeg
    So w
    CRWBY To Remnant
    503586033_648874611534641_3451915904915977964_n.jpg
    Jaune Gonna Be Busy
    Ice Queendom Gave Us Something Beautiful
    3ddpyjlw06lf1.jpeg
    Too Cute
    q15z9yqk53lf1.jpeg
    Ruby would be telling people Summer is not her sister but her mom
     
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    Dragon Bob said:
    Yeah but speaking as an older sibling, your younger siblings are always babies to be protected.
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    I gave my own sister The Talk.

    The best way to protect a younger sibling is by informing them and - within reason - trusting them to make smarter decisions than you did.

    Thankfully, my little sister has a whole forty IQ points over me and we both learned street smarts at the feet of our grandfather who was raised by a Great War-era European refuge (fled Romania alone at fifteen with just the clothes on his back, and earned his new citizenship by helping re-fill the trenches with dead Germans), so I never had to worry much.

    SharkCultist said:
    So just want to throw out there for the marvel fans.

    Pyrrha with maiden magic is literally a scarlet (because of her hair) witch.
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    ...MCU Scarlet Witch, Comic Scarlet Witch, or the early-2000's X-Men cartoon Scarlet Witch?

    Because one is just a high school goth girl with daddy issues and a furry kink, but the others are BATSHIT EVIL BITCHES, and Pyrrha doesn't deserve that comparison.
     
    Radian Summer Vacation: Tourism New
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    • RWBY and JNPR continue to enjoy their summer vacation in Radian... Mostly.

    Blake: "So there is a local museum? Good. It's nice to know there's somewhere cultured here."

    Jaune: "There's literally monuments, statues, a library, a small cathedral-"

    Blake: "Actual culture! Not just the oppressive elites' attempts to define history! This museum is a voice for the oppressed and underrepresented!"

    Jaune: "Oh Lord... You don't mean-?"

    Smash cut to an old, weird shack in the woods in Radian.

    Blake: "Merlin's Museum of the Unexplained!"

    Weiss: "You held that in just for the dramatic reveal, didn't you?"

    Blake: "Naturally!"

    Ruby: "I wanted to do it!" pouts

    Blake: "Next time! Now, let's see what underrepresented part of history this museum shows!"

    An old man appears in a burst of smoke with a wizard's hat and an eyepatch.

    Merlin: "Welcome to the Mystery Shack! Learn the untold truth of all existence-Oh, hey Jaune!"

    Jaune: sighs "Hey Grunkel Merlin."

    Merlin: "How nice of you to bring your wealthy sucker-friends! Friends here! Who wants to see the mysteries of Remnant? All contained within this shack?"

    Blake: "DO I!"

    Weiss: "Seriously?"

    Within the shack...

    Merlin: "BEHOLD! The eight legged horse Sleipner! I killed it in my guise as Masked Britain Bishōnen with Little Saber-Lily! Wasn't she precious?"

    Jaune: "That's literally you and Nana when you played dress up."

    Merlin: "We still killed Sleipner! Who was, uh... Oppressing Faunus!"

    Weiss: "That's a regular stuffed horse with extra legs sewn on-"

    Blake: "Tell me more!"

    Weiss: sighs "Really?"

    Pyrrha: low voice "Jaune? I think your great-uncle might be a conman."

    Jaune: deadpan "Really? What was your first clue?"

    Nora: "I don't know what you're talking about, this is so informative!"
     
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  • New
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    • Radian Summer Vacation: Tourism 2 New
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    • Yang: "So... Your grunkle is a total and complete fraud and just makes money off gullible tourists?"

    Jaune: "Yes. He used to use real magic but that was just terrifying and weird."

    Ruby: "Wait, real magic?"

    Flashback... Sweet, innocent ten year old Jaune with a balloon is at the Shack. He pets little Fou, the cutest little creature ever.

    Merlin: "Hey kid! Wanna see Fou achieve his true form?"

    Jaune: "Okay!"

    Little Fou... Grows into something monstrous. Jaune lets go of his balloon and cries in fear.

    Jaune: "WAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!"

    Fou: "You stupid jerk, he's scared of me!"

    Merlin: "No! No, all little boys love... Whatever you turn into!"

    Fou: "You forgot again, huh?"

    Merlin: "NO! I didn't forget anything! I'm Merlin!"

    In the present.

    Jaune: "So now he just scams tourists with lame versions of the real thing."

    Weiss: "HA! Like I'd believe that!"

    Yang: "Yeah, it's a little far fetched, VB."

    Blake: "What?! This is a real unicorn?! This is just a horse with a horn attached! You're a fraud!'

    Merlin: "I am not!"

    Nana Arturia walks up, scowling angrily.

    Arturia: "Merlin? What have I told you about scamming Jaune's friends?"

    Merlin: "Nothing. He only had the two before. And they were poor."

    Arturia: "..." Pulls out her sword

    Merlin: "NOT THE FACE!"

    Arturia visits some severe punishment to Merlin. The unicorn breathes a sigh of relief.

    Unicorn: "Boy, that was a close one."

    Blake: "... Did you just talk?"

    Unicorn: "No! Oh, shoot!"

    Nora: "I'm convinced!"

    Jaune: sigh "Oh boy..."
     
  • New
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    • Radian's CCTnet Channel New
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    • Coco: "Hey Jauney Boy! I got your town's CCTube channel! And look what I found~!"

    Jaune: "Oh Breaker, please no-!"

    A short plays, entitled "Healthcare with Doctor Isabel". Isabel sits at a table with a sigh. She gestures to the many random objects, including an Atlasian Laser Rifle.

    Isabel: "As a public service announcement, please: Do not stick any of these items in any of your orifices. No, I'm not going to tell you which ones went where. I'm just going to let your imagination do the work."

    Coco: "God she's so hot. I can think of a few places I'd like her to stick-"

    Jaune: "DAMNIT COCO STOP LUSTING AFTER MY MOM!"

    Coco: "NEVER!"

    Ruby: "Ooh, what's this one?"

    Another video plays, entitled 'Shirou's Cooking Hour.' Shirou Arc smiles at the camera.

    Shirou: "Hello all. Today we'll be making a Royale with Cheese, which is my wife's second favorite burger."

    Yang: "... Oh wow he's hot. That's your grandpa?!"

    Jaune: "GREAT Grandpa, and please stop lusting after him?!"

    Yang: "Would you prefer I lust after you instead, Loverboy~?"

    Jaune: gulp

    Pyrrha: "No! Stop lusting after him!"

    Yang: "What? You can't be the only one who does, Cereal Girl!"

    Pyrrha: bright red "I-I-You-LOOK! ANOTHER VIDEO!"

    Jaune: "Wait what-?"

    This video is entitled "Mercer Sith Junior's Thoughts." A farmboy looking Cat Faunus is working on his car engine. He stands up and looks into the distance.

    Mercer Sith: "If you hold a bullet in your mouth and set it off with Aura... Is that free speech or political violence? Makes you think."

    Blake: "... Huh. I'm not sure if that's profound or stupid."

    Jaune: "It's Mercer. It's definitely stupid."
     
  • New
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    • Radian's CCTnet Channel 2 New
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    • Ruby: "What's this show? 'Toeing the Line with Tangy Arc'?"

    Jaune: "Oh boy... This might be a bit much for you, Ruby-"

    Ruby: "Too late, I'm hitting play!"

    Tangy smiles and nods to the camera.

    Tangy: "There are no laws for the safe treatment of Grimm. They are Grimm. Which means all sorts of things can be used against them that you can't legally use against humans or Faunus!"

    Yang: "Oh boy."

    Tangy: "Sadly, nerve gas doesn't work on them. Or other chemical weapons delivered in gaseous form."

    Weiss: "She-She's not serious about that, right?"

    Jaune: "She tried."

    Tangy: "However, in this episode, we'll talk about one kind of weapon that is banned for use against humans and Faunus, but is great against Grimm: Microwave emitter weapons! They work great!"

    Ruby: "Really?!"

    Nora: "Ooh! That's great to find out!"

    Tangy: "The water content in most Grimm is high enough you can use it against them. As my subordinate Weiss will demonstrate!"

    Ruby: "No relation, eh Weiss? Eh? Ehhhh?"

    Weiss: "Weiss is my first name. not my family name."

    Tangy's subordinate, Weiss, stands in a field with several Grimm held in cages.
    Tangy: "Really Weiss?"

    Weiss: "Ready Colonel!"

    Tangy: "Go for it!"

    Weiss: Holds up the microwave emitter and fires it at Grimm... Who all begin to burn and melt from the inside out, screaming in agony

    Tangy: "See? Very effective and no moral quandary whatsoever!"

    Weiss Schnee: "That was disturbing."

    Pyrrha: "Severely."

    Ruby: Actually considering the effectiveness of the emitter. "Huh, it's surprisingly a lot cleaner than I thought it would be."

    Jaune: "... Yeah. That's the best takeaway."
     
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  • New
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    • Some other ideas for the Radian CCTnet Channel:

    -Lilac hosts a children's show! Which her boyfriend Mercer sometimes comes on! Naturally it's very popular... For young men of all ages. And some ladies.

    Jaune: "Seriously, you're ogling my older sister now?!"

    Coco: "Yes! Yes I am!"

    -Mash Kyrielight, Jaune's cousin via his great-uncle Lancelot, hosts a series on the history of the Arc Family! Which involves a lot of research and going around to do interviews that get out of hand. Poor Mash.

    -Father Alexander hosts a series on spreading the word of the Tablebreaker!

    Weiss: "Surely this will be nice and wholesome!"

    Alexander: "DEATH TO THE HEATHEN GRIMM! BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"

    Weiss: "... Okay so that's about what I expected."

    Alexander: "And this is how you save orphans from a burning building!"

    Ruby: "Hey! It's wholesome again! Yay!"
     
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