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[RWBY] RWBY Shorts

Jaune Arc, Single Father 28 New
The JNPR common room was lively with the usual morning chatter and the clatter of utensils on plates when the door swung open and Penny Polendina stepped inside, bright smile already in place.

"Salutations, Friend Ruby! Hello, Friend Yang! Hello, Friend Weiss! Hello, Friend Blake! Hello, Friend Nora! Hello, Friend Ren! Hello, Friend Pyrrha!" She paused, scanning the room until her gaze landed on Jaune. "Hello, Friend Jaune!"

"Hello!" Jaune grinned, as everyone else returned Penny's cheerful greeting with varying levels of enthusiasm. Penny smiled back.

Then her eyes dropped to the small blonde girl sitting on Jaune's lap, happily eating a muffin.

Penny tilted her head.

"Why do you have a smaller, female, half-Faunus duplicate of yourself, Friend Jaune?"

Jaune nearly choked and smiled in confusion.

"Uh, this is my daughter, Mia."

Mia waved cheerfully, ears perking up.

"Hello!"

Penny's smile widened instantly.

"Hello, Friend Mia! You are very small and cute!"

"Hee! Thank you!" Mia giggled, clearly delighted by the compliment.

Penny leaned in a little closer, curiosity sparkling in her green eyes. "Where did you come from?"

"My parents!" Mia answered proudly.

Jaune nodded. "Yes."

Penny's head tilted even further.

"So… did you make her yourself?"

Jaune's brain short-circuited. "Huh? What? No!"

Mia, trying to be helpful, added, "The stork brought me!"

Penny's eyes widened. "The stork? How? That is illogical! How do storks participate in human and Faunus reproduction? How do babies come about?"

Mia blinked. "Huh?"

Yang, who had been lounging on the couch, suddenly grinned wickedly. She reached over and gently covered Mia's ears with both hands.

"Sex," she said cheerfully.

Jaune sputtered, nearly choking on his cookie again. "YANG!"

"Seriously?!" Ruby demanded.

"What? I covered her ears!"

Penny's head tilted the other way. "Hm. Interesting. I looked up the term 'sex' but all search results were quarantined off by my father and General Ironwood."

The entire room went dead silent. Nora blinked, but didn't stop eating her pancakes.

Penny blinked innocently.

"…On my scroll! Which I quickly used to look up 'sex!' Like a normal human girl!" She hiccuped.

Blake muttered under her breath, "That's… not untrue."

Weiss turned bright red. "Wha— You perverted creature, you—!"

Blake raised an eyebrow at Weiss. "So if I were to hand me your scroll right now and we went through your search history, you'd be squeaky clean?"

Weiss stared.

Blake stared back.

Weiss immediately yanked out her scroll and started frantically deleting things.

Blake smirked. "That's what I thought."

Yang leaned over, looking concerned as Weiss kept scrolling and deleting at lightning speed. "Good gods, girl… at least use the private tabs."

"Seriously," Nora said sagely. Ren nodded in agreement, his eyes momentarily haunted.

Meanwhile, Mia squirmed under Yang's hands. "What are they talking about, Papa—?"

Jaune's face was bright red. "I'll tell you when you're older!"

"But—"

"When you're older!"

Mia pouted but eventually nodded, accepting the mysterious adult rule for now.

- - -

And now I'm going to collapse and sleep.
 
Jaune Arc, Single Father 29 New
Last one for today...
- - -

The window to the RWBY dorm slid open with a familiar creak.

Qrow Branwen slipped inside like he owned the place, boots landing lightly on the floor despite the bottle in his hand. Yang looked up from the kitchenette, wearing a pink apron with little strawberries on it, and rolled her eyes.

"Uncle Qrow. You know there's a door, right?"

"Yeah, but windows are more fun," he grinned, taking a swig from his flask. "Besides, doors are for people who aren't trying to avoid Ozpin's paperwork."

Yang was in the middle of making snacks: Cutting apples into bunny shapes and arranging cupcakes on a plate, while Mia sat at the small table, swinging her legs and coloring.

Mia looked up at the newcomer, wrinkled her nose, and declared loudly, "You're smelly and weird."

Qrow barked out a short laugh. "Kid's not wrong."

Yang snorted, wiping her hands on the apron. "Mia, this is my Uncle Qrow. He's… an acquired taste."

Mia tilted her head, ears twitching. "Like pickles?"

"Exactly like pickles," Qrow agreed, amused.

Yang finished plating the snacks and brought them over, the strawberry apron still tied neatly around her waist. She looked every bit the picture of domestic warmth as she set the plate down and gently adjusted Mia's napkin.

Qrow leaned against the wall, watching the scene with a faint, almost wistful smile.

Yang caught the look and raised an eyebrow. "What are you smirking about, old man?"

Qrow took another slow sip from his flask, eyes softening. "Just… you in an apron, playing mom. Making bunny-shaped apples and everything. Reminds me of Summer. The way she used to take care of you and Ruby when you were little. Same energy."

Yang's face instantly turned bright red. "S-Shut up! It's not like that!"

Mia, who had been happily munching on an apple bunny, suddenly perked up and announced with zero filter:

"I want Yang to be my new mama! She'd be great!"

Qrow's grin widened, sharp and teasing. "Oh? Is that so?"

Yang nearly dropped the plate she was holding. "Mia-!"

She quickly stuffed a whole cupcake into the little girl's mouth to cut her off, cheeks burning even brighter.

"Nah! She's just a kid!" Yang laughed nervously, waving her hands. "Kids say weird stuff all the time! So what if I like Jaune a little? It doesn't mean anything! We're just friends! Totally normal friends!"

Qrow raised an eyebrow, clearly not buying a single word. His smirk grew into something knowing and far too amused.

"Uh-huh."

Mia chewed the cupcake with big, innocent eyes, then swallowed and tried again. "But Auntie Yang likes Papa and—"

"Another cupcake!" Yang squeaked, shoving a second one into Mia's mouth before she could finish.

Qrow chuckled lowly, shaking his head as he watched his niece fluster and flail.

"Relax, Firecracker. Your secret's safe with me… for now."

Yang groaned, burying her face in her hands while Mia happily munched away, completely oblivious to the chaos she'd just caused.

Qrow just took another sip from his flask, still smiling faintly.

Summer would've loved this.

Of course, if Ruby was also into the blonde doofus... Well. He'd have to kick his ass.

He seemed like a good dad. So he wouldn't beat him up too hard. But it was the only way to keep blonde doofuses from thinking they could build a harem.
 
Love how the parents are shipping their daughters with Parent!Jaune.....probably because they realise how much of a mess their daughters are and they're gonna need all the help they can get.

Can't wait for Blake's mother.

Kali:......

Blake:......

Kali:....So about that Arc boy.

Blake: Already working on it.
 
For the various characters' reactions to Mia: I'd like to think Ironwood would be professional... right until he's alone where he cracks a smile and gushes in private.

Velvet and Coco would take her out shopping and get her a new wardrobe, along with a album's worth of photos.

Torchwick... nobody knows what happened for real, but several toy stores were robbed and the contents ended up in JNPR's dorm.
 
Love how the parents are shipping their daughters with Parent!Jaune.....probably because they realise how much of a mess their daughters are and they're gonna need all the help they can get.

Can't wait for Blake's mother.

Kali:......

Blake:......

Kali:....So about that Arc boy.

Blake: Already working on it.
Kali: and failing badly by the looks of it.
 

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