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Twisted Pinwheel
- Thread starter Chibi-Reaper
- Start date
Winged One
Not the Simurgh
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Down with Sausage-inna-bun! A growing girl should eat food, not... whatever the fuck that is!
Winged One
Not the Simurgh
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Ah, okay. Some context.
Someone once tried to sell these things as rat. The people to whom he was marketing raised a giant stink because it was far, far worse than any rat they had tasted.
redaeth
Stubborn pedantrist
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A bit better explanation.
The sausage-inna-bun is a reference to a something in the book series Discworld by Terry Pratchett. The guy is known as 'cut-me-own-throat' Dibbler who is a street vender after the same vein as hotdog-sellers you find on downtown streets and he sells 'food' he calls sausage-inna-bun.
Calling it food is an insult to all food everywhere, and that includes bad haggis.
The sausage-inna-bun is a reference to a something in the book series Discworld by Terry Pratchett. The guy is known as 'cut-me-own-throat' Dibbler who is a street vender after the same vein as hotdog-sellers you find on downtown streets and he sells 'food' he calls sausage-inna-bun.
Calling it food is an insult to all food everywhere, and that includes bad haggis.
Snake/Eater
Myth Maker of the North
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What is the healthiest choice other then Fried rice?The bbq seems like a good choice but it's very fattening and I honestly don't know what a Yakitori is.
Koled
Versed in the lewd.
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I belive its a brochete with chicken and veggies.
And the bbq depends on the meat really.
redaeth
Stubborn pedantrist
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And if it doesn't I'll cut me own throat.
Dark Ness
I trust you know where the happy button is?
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Exactly.
angelofwhim
Experienced.
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[x] Curry bread
Hey guys, guys...!
If mio learns ALL the FIRE ninjutsus.....
This will become Azula quest 2.0! Yay!
Hey guys, guys...!
If mio learns ALL the FIRE ninjutsus.....
This will become Azula quest 2.0! Yay!
Dark Ness
I trust you know where the happy button is?
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Declares that we won't use fire
Discovers that our affinity is fire
...
prandom
Definitely Trustworthy
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Then we will go to Gai and learn the power of HARD WORK to use all other affinities!
And imagine the elders' faces when we come home in green spandex, with a bowl cut and giant eyebrows.
Larekko12
Connoisseur.
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[X]Barbecue
Silly Mio underestimating the seals. And that hands off system seems like it would get you shit for consistent quality with kids while the motivated and focused would excell the motivated but scatterbrained would fail.
Silly Mio underestimating the seals. And that hands off system seems like it would get you shit for consistent quality with kids while the motivated and focused would excell the motivated but scatterbrained would fail.
Lon
Well worn.
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I can see the appeal though. That way, they can cut out most of the chaff that aren't taking being a ninja seriously.
Only those that actually have the motivation and drive to be a ninja will excell, while those that don't will drop out. Even if they can't get as many ninjas out the academy as they could otherwise.
Well, in theory anyway.
Winged One
Not the Simurgh
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Except that it also cuts out people who have the motivation and drive, but don't know what's a good idea to study.
Lon
Well worn.
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Well, I did say in theory.
CrossyCross
LADY OF LOVE
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[X] Sausage-inna-bun
Bugger it, let's do this.
Bugger it, let's do this.
prandom
Definitely Trustworthy
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No, no. It's "Buggrit, millennium hand and shrimp."
If you're going to do it, do it right.
fitzgerald
Experienced.
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[X] Sausage-inna-bun
massdefect76
Getting sticky.
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[X] Sausage-inna-bun
One With Everything.
Chibi-Reaper
D-Donations plz?
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You're a little tempted for dango and tea, which is an acceptable snack, but you need food. Sweets aren't going to do it, even if Head's Eldest Brat Itachi has apparently without realizing forced dango and tea to be considered an acceptable Uchiha meal.
Way you hear it told, it's just about the only thing he eats at all if the Head's Wife doesn't literally tie her son down for a family meal.
You genuinely have no idea how he is still alive if that's the case, but you'll chalk it down to genetics and possibly a stolen digestion jutsu of some kind. You wouldn't put it past him to do so, or to medically experiment on his own stomach to convert the dango into the nutrients that are actually required after the fact.
Right now, though, you want something that fulfills certain requirements. It has to be cheap, since while you have a stipend it's only going to stretch so far. You'd prefer it to be filling. And ideally, it will contain meat.
That leaves you a lot of options, but the best is probably...
Not even a roadside stall or vendor, but a movable cart, set up somewhere a little different every day, manned by a heavily bearded and heavily framed man with jovial eyes. And trouble talking. You're pretty sure that a couple ninja keep an eye on him out of casual suspicion of foreigners, but since he's still around they haven't found anything, and so there's probably nothing to find.
You ring the bell to get his attention and wave money.
"Skipped lunch, Tiny." you say, with no further explanation.
"Hah. Then like the buddha, I make you one with everything, yes?" Tiny responds, fishing a fire-blackened and cracked sausage out of the storage case and onto a split bread bun, then layering sauces and finely minced plant matter pinched between fingertips the size of your wrists, before finishing it off with crumbled white and molten yellow cheese, poured over the mounded top of what most of the village would hesitate to call a meal.
It's a little different from what you're used to, and no less than three times as fatty and five times as greasy as a normal dish. The first time you ate one of these you could only keep it all down for an hour and then were initially convinced you needed to go to the hospital when it came back out. Until you recalled the layer of red sauce that had gone over first, anyway, and put together that it wasn't internal bleeding.
And later on, the cheese passed through your intestines. For the most part, there's not a lot of dishes in Konoha that call for cheese, and those that do typically only want a small amount. The big dairy product is milk and flavored milk, fluids which pass through more easily than the thicker and more congealed product of cheese, and so...
You were unprepared for the results, in the end.
The sausage in a bun is not a meal for the frail or faint of heart. Much like poison resistance training, you think that if you eat this too often then you'll die, but if you don't eat it often enough then you'll start to lose the resistance to the worst effects. Once in a while is best.
It's not like it tastes bad once you get used to it, either.
Food in hand, you eat slowly as you wander around... today the cart is on the edge of what passes for a 'bad part of town' in Konoha. That's only by comparison, since there's a lot of towns where the Konoha slums would look like a paradise.
The worst that can be said about it is that this section of town is where a lot of the orphans and red-light workers live, in an uncomfortable juxtaposition. Thanks to the police force's tireless work, though, crime as a whole only barely exists, where through the rest of the village it's virtually unknown. Grafitti, vandalism, and some relatively harmless swindler's street games. The Uchiha police force stomps down hard on anything more than that.
There are street gangs too, of course, but as far as you've been able to tell they don't have the slightest idea of what to do aside from sometimes beat each other up for pocket change.
Distant rhythmic thumps suggest that one such scrap is going on right now, and you're bored enough to go have a closer look. If you were older then you might just ignore that you aren't actually a part of the police force and arrest everyone involved for giggles. The actual police would probably play along.
It's the Uchiha way. And you have to make a few obvious shows of corruption in some ways if you want to use them as a counterpoint and 'but it's not that bad' in others or the civilians will go looking for where the corruption can actually be found. After all, the Uchiha are a ninja clan, and nearly every member of the police force has been a ninja and what that leads to in the minds of civilians is too often just 'paid killer'.
The phrase 'fox guarding henhouse' doesn't even begin to cover it, and even if a small portion of the population would offer the benefit of the doubt if it was suggested that the Uchiha Police weren't corrupt at all, most would laugh the idea out of town.
The best thing to do was to keep the 'corruption' a perfectly visible and mostly harmless abuse of authority, so that nobody got any ideas about maybe bribing a cop to look the other way for a while. After all, those tyrants would happily come down on any of their own just as hard, if given an excuse.
You're pretty sure that that's an approach the Uchiha clan use for a lot of things, including diplomacy, shopping, and love lives.
You lick the last traces of spicy tomato paste off your fingers and toss the paper aside before getting a closer look at the fracas.
... Isn't that Purple and the Shonen-hero girl? Former's split her knuckles a bit and the latter has a bit of wood that's sort of held a little like a sword but mostly like the beating stick it is. They're fighting with four boys, a little older.
Someone yells something about 'Ami and her boyfriend' and Shonen-hero girl's body visibly twitches. Then she smacks her stick into kneecaps.
Honestly this is pretty even as far as you can tell, though there's naturally a little numbers advantage. It'll take a while for things to be decided, unless someone intervenes... looks like the boys are expecting reinforcements. Ah, urchin turf wars.
If you don't get involved, you guess your classmates will wind up being roughed up and lose some pocket money. That's all right, builds character. Boring though.
---
[ ] This is nooot Mio's problem. And so Mio will find amusement elsewhere. There's still three more E-rank jutsu to work on.
[ ] You have dibs on certain people vis a vis the places to put them in. Besides, when it comes to punching faces, variety is the spice of life.
[ ] You know the transformation technique, and now's a good time to use it! After all, coming to the rescue would just ruin your reputation, but you can easily get the brats scattering if you're a huuuge stray dog.
[ ] ??
Way you hear it told, it's just about the only thing he eats at all if the Head's Wife doesn't literally tie her son down for a family meal.
You genuinely have no idea how he is still alive if that's the case, but you'll chalk it down to genetics and possibly a stolen digestion jutsu of some kind. You wouldn't put it past him to do so, or to medically experiment on his own stomach to convert the dango into the nutrients that are actually required after the fact.
Right now, though, you want something that fulfills certain requirements. It has to be cheap, since while you have a stipend it's only going to stretch so far. You'd prefer it to be filling. And ideally, it will contain meat.
That leaves you a lot of options, but the best is probably...
Not even a roadside stall or vendor, but a movable cart, set up somewhere a little different every day, manned by a heavily bearded and heavily framed man with jovial eyes. And trouble talking. You're pretty sure that a couple ninja keep an eye on him out of casual suspicion of foreigners, but since he's still around they haven't found anything, and so there's probably nothing to find.
You ring the bell to get his attention and wave money.
"Skipped lunch, Tiny." you say, with no further explanation.
"Hah. Then like the buddha, I make you one with everything, yes?" Tiny responds, fishing a fire-blackened and cracked sausage out of the storage case and onto a split bread bun, then layering sauces and finely minced plant matter pinched between fingertips the size of your wrists, before finishing it off with crumbled white and molten yellow cheese, poured over the mounded top of what most of the village would hesitate to call a meal.
It's a little different from what you're used to, and no less than three times as fatty and five times as greasy as a normal dish. The first time you ate one of these you could only keep it all down for an hour and then were initially convinced you needed to go to the hospital when it came back out. Until you recalled the layer of red sauce that had gone over first, anyway, and put together that it wasn't internal bleeding.
And later on, the cheese passed through your intestines. For the most part, there's not a lot of dishes in Konoha that call for cheese, and those that do typically only want a small amount. The big dairy product is milk and flavored milk, fluids which pass through more easily than the thicker and more congealed product of cheese, and so...
You were unprepared for the results, in the end.
The sausage in a bun is not a meal for the frail or faint of heart. Much like poison resistance training, you think that if you eat this too often then you'll die, but if you don't eat it often enough then you'll start to lose the resistance to the worst effects. Once in a while is best.
It's not like it tastes bad once you get used to it, either.
Food in hand, you eat slowly as you wander around... today the cart is on the edge of what passes for a 'bad part of town' in Konoha. That's only by comparison, since there's a lot of towns where the Konoha slums would look like a paradise.
The worst that can be said about it is that this section of town is where a lot of the orphans and red-light workers live, in an uncomfortable juxtaposition. Thanks to the police force's tireless work, though, crime as a whole only barely exists, where through the rest of the village it's virtually unknown. Grafitti, vandalism, and some relatively harmless swindler's street games. The Uchiha police force stomps down hard on anything more than that.
There are street gangs too, of course, but as far as you've been able to tell they don't have the slightest idea of what to do aside from sometimes beat each other up for pocket change.
Distant rhythmic thumps suggest that one such scrap is going on right now, and you're bored enough to go have a closer look. If you were older then you might just ignore that you aren't actually a part of the police force and arrest everyone involved for giggles. The actual police would probably play along.
It's the Uchiha way. And you have to make a few obvious shows of corruption in some ways if you want to use them as a counterpoint and 'but it's not that bad' in others or the civilians will go looking for where the corruption can actually be found. After all, the Uchiha are a ninja clan, and nearly every member of the police force has been a ninja and what that leads to in the minds of civilians is too often just 'paid killer'.
The phrase 'fox guarding henhouse' doesn't even begin to cover it, and even if a small portion of the population would offer the benefit of the doubt if it was suggested that the Uchiha Police weren't corrupt at all, most would laugh the idea out of town.
The best thing to do was to keep the 'corruption' a perfectly visible and mostly harmless abuse of authority, so that nobody got any ideas about maybe bribing a cop to look the other way for a while. After all, those tyrants would happily come down on any of their own just as hard, if given an excuse.
You're pretty sure that that's an approach the Uchiha clan use for a lot of things, including diplomacy, shopping, and love lives.
You lick the last traces of spicy tomato paste off your fingers and toss the paper aside before getting a closer look at the fracas.
... Isn't that Purple and the Shonen-hero girl? Former's split her knuckles a bit and the latter has a bit of wood that's sort of held a little like a sword but mostly like the beating stick it is. They're fighting with four boys, a little older.
Someone yells something about 'Ami and her boyfriend' and Shonen-hero girl's body visibly twitches. Then she smacks her stick into kneecaps.
Honestly this is pretty even as far as you can tell, though there's naturally a little numbers advantage. It'll take a while for things to be decided, unless someone intervenes... looks like the boys are expecting reinforcements. Ah, urchin turf wars.
If you don't get involved, you guess your classmates will wind up being roughed up and lose some pocket money. That's all right, builds character. Boring though.
---
[ ] This is nooot Mio's problem. And so Mio will find amusement elsewhere. There's still three more E-rank jutsu to work on.
[ ] You have dibs on certain people vis a vis the places to put them in. Besides, when it comes to punching faces, variety is the spice of life.
[ ] You know the transformation technique, and now's a good time to use it! After all, coming to the rescue would just ruin your reputation, but you can easily get the brats scattering if you're a huuuge stray dog.
[ ] ??
Lon
Well worn.
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[X] You have dibs on certain people vis a vis the places to put them in. Besides, when it comes to punching faces, variety is the spice of life.
Why not. We're bored. And these are our rivals/enemies. We still have to pay them back for that cheap shot someday. Well, other than what we already did to them.
Why not. We're bored. And these are our rivals/enemies. We still have to pay them back for that cheap shot someday. Well, other than what we already did to them.
Snake/Eater
Myth Maker of the North
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[X] You have dibs on certain people vis a vis the places to put them in. Besides, when it comes to punching faces, variety is the spice of life.