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[Breathes in]"And that, Lady Richilde, is why I prefer democracy. The bureaucracy moves at the speed of slow, but it's also a hell of a lot easier to remove someone in power who is unfit to be in power."
"Skaven has mutant if you have warpstone-coin."Honestly, not one of the prettier aspects of Skaven biology. Sorry, folks, the hot rat-chick market isn't open here.
Time reduced? The Empire doesn't use imprisonment as punishment. The stocks, beatings, fines, maiming and hanging are the options. In Altdorf for example theft is punished by the removal of an ear lobe. Out of ear lobes? They hang you. Three strikes.If they survive, they get time reduced? At the risk of dying horribly? I can see some standing up., Otherwise, they'll be volun-told.
They weren't keen on being in the room with a magical orange beastman.Why not show remote imaging of them first? It seems troublesome to have to fly off each time.
Thank you, corrected.
No, that's correct. 'Which isn't unreasonable, but… But this is getting to be.'
Thank you, corrected.
"No, he fed himself his own head. It's his brain that's damaged; his arms are fine."TECLIS: (Amazed) You actually fed the mad count his own head?
PAOL: WHY is that the one thing that everyone focuses on?!
As far as I can tell, he's bipolar. The SI caught him in the manic part of his cycle. He's not doing this because he thinks it's normal behaviour, he's doing it because he thinks it's funny.Considerably more mad than he was in Honour of the Grave. Did the Turmoil of 2512 take place earlier in the year, if he's already the Elector Count?
To be fair, he's fucking right.He's not doing this because he thinks it's normal behaviour, he's doing it because he thinks it's funny.
Eh, they're babies, which means they're already barely people, and then on top of that they're skaven. I think the morality of killing them is pretty reasonable, and he hasn't lost an irretrievable opportunity because he can just get more from a different place.You had a chance to check nature vs nurture on Skaven and decided to kill some humanoid babies instead. Bravo!
TECLIS: Ah, naturally. What of the courtiers? Were they appalled, or did they stoically accept the proceedings with all the grace of those accustomed to the madness of others?"No, he fed himself his own head. It's his brain that's damaged; his arms are fine."
That still leaves the question of how he's the Elector Count unresolved. AU element born of imperfect memory?As far as I can tell, he's bipolar. The SI caught him in the manic part of his cycle. He's not doing this because he thinks it's normal behaviour, he's doing it because he thinks it's funny.
Consequences of his madness aside, apparently he's an astonishingly effective at his job, on top of being a superb warrior and strategist to boot, so much so that Karl Franz vouches for him, even after Marius tried to slaughter the halflings of The Moot.That still leaves the question of how he's the Elector Count unresolved. AU element born of imperfect memory?
The Turmoil of 2512 appears to have entered canon in 2020, while Marcus entered canon a good two decades before that.That still leaves the question of how he's the Elector Count unresolved. AU element born of imperfect memory?
It does occur to me that if this man isn't completely incoherent, and was the more 'method to his madness' kind of insane, this request would both be a decent test of Paol's ability to accomplish the impossible(with the 'paving over the realm of chaos' thing showing that he has a decent understanding of Paol's goals, and an understanding that succeeding might require accomplishing the impossible), and would provide amazing bragging rights."It seems about as reasonable as paving over the realm of Chaos." He releases his hold, then flaps his right hand at me. "Get on with it."
Whose
Thank you, corrected.
Poorly. It operates more like loosely affiliated kingdoms. Not a little unlike ancient Europe, really. Honestly, the only thing some bits of it have in common where that they were conquered by Sigmar Heldenhammer way back when...9th Sigmarzeit 2512
Evening
I flop back onto the sofa.
"Jesus Christ how is the Empire still functioning?"
He must also be very talented at herding cats.Lady Richilde checks for observers, and then flops down next to me.
"My uncle's hard work."
In other words, someone to pass the buck on to with your people concerning less popular directive from the Crown."Really?"
"He's a highly capable negotiator and diplomat." She sighs. "Though habit probably plays a part. And having an elected monarch."
Honestly, monarchies tended to be a bit of a raffle, though. One king might be energetic, intelligent and driven, the next might be a slovenly defective more focused on getting his rocks off."The one thing worse than those people in charge of an electoral province is them being in charge of all of them. It's actually quite an eye-opener for me. My home country is a democracy, so I've spent my whole life seeing the worst excesses of democracy, and after a while you can't help but thing: 'were things really so bad before we could elect our leaders?'. And now I know."
"I didn't think that Graf Todbringer was so bad."
'Better to remain silent and be thought a fool, than to open your mouth and remove all doubt.'"And I respect your loyalty to your brother's soon-to-be family. Did you not see how vacant he looked? He basically let his courtiers do all the talking until I got him onto the subject of beastmen."
"That's a valid technique. Sometimes it's better not to let people know what you think."
Besides putting his boot up Beastman backsides? Managing the positively quarrelsome peoples of the North?"For a dedicated Ulrician? I'm not playing to stereotypes here, but don't they value directness and assertiveness even more than Sigmarites, who aren't exactly shy and retiring themselves?"
"He has a lot on his mind."
'Unwell' as in merely ill, as in 'ill in a way you don't speak of in polite company' or...
Ah, one of the other results of the lottery of state: The cripples. Often caused by rabid inbreeding amongst the upper class.I open my eyes and turn my head towards her. "He could have led with that. There's no mortal disease that I can't cure."
"No, not a.. disease. He was born with… Difficulties."
And more than in the 'has one extra toe' aspect, or in the 'some chaos entity is quietly giggling somewhere at the jest?'Ah. I think I can work out what she's talking about.
"Has anything I've said to you given you cause to believe that I understand circuitous speech? Do you mean that he's a mutant, or has-"
There's more than a few members of European royalty who should never have bred...
Ah. Thick as two short planks, eh? Couldn't find his own arse with both hands?
Well, Marius, his court knows how to work around. Sometimes, all a ruler has to do is sit there looking pretty. And if he occasionally giggles to himself for odd reasons, well..."Are you unable to correct those? I was concerned that you might have tried that with Count Marius, and then he was… Much the same as he ever is. Perhaps a little more exuberant."
"All he wanted was a head. That was weird, yes, but not all that difficult."
Now, working with the vital energies of the soul, that's a little trickier.She finally turns her head towards me, frowning. "I cannot understand how you did it."
I shrug. "The human body is made of matter. The ring can reshape matter. For mundane purposes there's nothing really special about a… Neck. I can take a piece of wood, reshape its material to match a section of his neck and then replace it."
Though it did take a while to get right."With wood?"
"It wouldn't be wood after I changed it, that's what I'm saying. In material terms it would be exactly the same as human flesh." I shrug. "In my world, our chirurgeons can remove failing organs from a person's body and replace them. It's not a completely safe procedure, but the majority of people who undergo it survive."
Which more people should do, really."Where do the organs come from?"
"People will them to medicine. The chirurgery needs to be carried out quickly, so people carry cards with them indicating that if they get injured and can't be saved they want their organs removed and used to heal the sick and injured."
And isn't there a pastiche of Victor Frankenstein out there somewhere? Probably in Sylvania... Never mind what the Skaven of Clan Moulder get up to."That… Disturbing. I… Understand that it's intended as a final act of generosity… But taking parts out and putting them in someone else… I cannot help but think of necromancy or the foul deeds of Nurgle-worshippers."
"Dead organs aren't any good. And wouldn't Nurgle worshippers implant failing organs rather than healthy ones?"
And if they have any kind of poison or damage... Well..."But if the person they're taken from is dead, how are the organs not dead?"
"It takes a while for the body to decay after death. Reducing the temperature extends that further. You still don't have more than a day or so..."
...Not yet. Mostly because science is still quite leery of that sort of tomfoolery."But what of the mind? The brain?"
"Oh, we can't transplant those."
Imagine a lump of meat weighing several pounds. Not particularly tasty meat, but meat all the same."No, with Count Marius-. The head was not alive, surely?"
"No, no. I left his brain in his head and created a copy for the head." I frown. That's not a great sentence, but I think that she understands. "It didn't have any… Activity. Ah, honestly, given the complexity of the human brain I doubt that I could create one. I don't know enough about how it records memories."
Danger, Paol, danger!She lays there, giving her attention to the ceiling.
"Who is Jesus Christ?"
Just say it's... Complicated?"Hm?"
"You said 'Jesus Christ' as an exclamation. Is that the name of your people's god?"
True, a lot of 'blasphemous' words have devolved into cursewords. You know, taking the Lord's name in vain and all that..."Ah. Sort of. He's the.. prophet whose teachings the main religion of my home country is based on. I'm not actually… A practitioner, I just got a bit… Frustrated."
"At least the Elder of the Moot asked for something practical."
So not quite Hobbiton, you know. The Moot is much more... Warhammer-y."Yeah. I'll have to pop back and see how they get on with greenhouses. I could build them here but I didn't think it was worth it."
The Moot may be a tiny area, but we need a road built there anyway, which means that we needed to deal with him as well as the ten Elector Counts. And the Moot's existing roads are so terrible that wagoners charge extra if they're employed to travel there, so I'm not holding out much hope that they'll be able to do the work themselves.
Pfft! What world do you think you're living in, Paol?But everyone agreed. Everyone agreed, and if this was anything to go by work will start in a year or two. Or three.
"Does the Empire just not do infrastructure projects?"
Ah, Kislev. Much-abused bastion of the far North-East. And prime punching bag for Chaos Marauder warbands coming to the Empire."Not on this scale. It will be a first."
"If it works. And we've still got to talk to the Tzar. Have you met him?"
Ah, yes, the future Tzarina Katarina. Iron of will and of spine. I doubt she'll brook any tomfoolery."No. I thought that you had."
"Yes, I went daemon-hunting and we sort of bumped into each other, but he's been doing a lot of reforming Kislevite society and I'm not sure that he's got the cash for a major road-building program as well. And I don't know how the Ice Witches will feel about the imposition of hysh on their land, which is going to be a big issue because the Crown Princess is one and if she doesn't like it then it's not going to happen."
But that can wait until morning."I will speak to our ambassador and the ambassador of the Tzar concerning the…" She yawns, covering her mouth with her right hand. "Excuse me. Concerning how best to convince him."
"Yeah, that sounds like a plan."
...Well, that's a rude awakening!I flop a little further. It was difficult getting a piece of furniture like this made, and the material it's cushioned with will need replacing well before the modern equivalent, but in the mean.. time…
"…with your clothes on?"
Sloppy, Paol. I can't imagine how awkward this will be.
As nice as that sounds, I doubt this will end in anything but Richilde punching Aranei...I blink at Aranei as-. Richilde stirs next to me and then jerks upright!
Aranei shakes her head. "If I must tolerate a human as a co-consort, you should at least do the job properly. Remove your clothes, and I will begin your instruction."
Don't they have problems with Praag still suffering bizzarre unreal chaos phenomena? If they think an infrastructure project could actually fix that then they must be tempted."If it works. And we've still got to talk to the Tzar. Have you met him?"
Honestly, monarchies tended to be a bit of a raffle, though. One king might be energetic, intelligent and driven, the next might be a slovenly defective more focused on getting his rocks off.
Given there's a Ice Witch prophecy that states a male practitioner of Magic will "taint the pristine flows of Ice Magic, changing it forever", (which doesn't specify HOW he'd do it), naturally the Ice Witches are sure to assume this could mean Paol himself is the one whom is fated to bring this event about.... despite the fact he doesn't actually wield Magic, let alone their own traditional practice."Yes, I went daemon-hunting and we sort of bumped into each other, but he's been doing a lot of reforming Kislevite society and I'm not sure that he's got the cash for a major road-building program as well. And I don't know how the Ice Witches will feel about the imposition of hysh on their land, which is going to be a big issue because the Crown Princess is one and if she doesn't like it then it's not going to happen."
'Ulrican'?
I was actually just learning about this yesterday. Apparently long-term memory has to do with the formation (or sometimes removal) of synapses between engram neurons and increased sensitivity to neurotransmitters in synapses. Exactly how these structural changes manage to encode memories is still a mystery.
onetwothreeINPRAISEOFEROS! No take backs!10th Sigmarzeit 2512
Morning
I blink at Aranei as-. Richilde stirs next to me and then jerks upright!
Aranei shakes her head. "If I must tolerate a human as a co-consort, you should at least do the job properly. Remove your clothes, and I will begin your instruction."
Thank you, corrected."My uncle's hard work."
"He's a highly capable negotiator and diplomat."
"I didn't think that Graf Todbringer was so bad."
"That's a valid technique. Sometimes it's better not to let people know what you think."
Understand that it's intended as a final act of generosity
Is that the name of your people's god?"
Ah. Well, sort of, but with King Erik in charge, it's really more Norse warbands, some of which worship Chaos.Ah, Kislev. Much-abused bastion of the far North-East. And prime punching bag for Chaos Marauder warbands coming to the Empire.
I don't think it would. Travel and communication are just too slow for effective central control.Again, like the HRE that inspired Warhammer's creators, the Empire is just too damn decentralized. It'd be so much better off with greater centralization. Make it less of a disjointed mess because of the dumb Elector Count system.
While that's correct, the SI doesn't know that.
Didn't Paol already purge the Drakwald?I sigh as I toss the head onto the pile. "With the greatest respect, Graf, there are a lot of one-eyed beastmen in the Drakwald. Did he have any other distinguishing features?"
This was my reaction aswell.
No, the Reikwald.
Umm..."Paol, the Orange Lantern, cleanser of the Drakwald and scourge of the World's Edge Mountains."
How many forests does one Empire even need?
As nice as that sounds, I doubt this will end in anything but Richilde punching Aranei...
Looking at the maps the Empire is mostly forests. Really the Empire doesn't actually control most the land within it's own borders.