We're All Mad Here (part 1)
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Mr Zoat
Dedicated ragequitter
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We're All Mad Here
14th July 2013
08:02 GMT
I stare in confusion at the masked face construct hovering over my ring.
"Forget 'how did you get this number?'. How are you even talking to me?"
"Oh, that's simple, sir. Between Batman's power ring and the Apokoliptian technology built into this station, there's very little on Earth that we can't communicate with."
Huh. I hadn't realised that those could interface in that direction.
"Alright, ah… Who are you?"
"I am a Peace Agent, sir. As you observed yourself, having one man -or even two- oversee the reconstruction of a planet isn't a viable method."
"So in addition to the field agents like Mister Blank, we've got additional administrators."
"Just so, sir. Batman and Mister Atom oversee our work, but unlike before other members of the Justice League could step into their roles. My role is to identify areas of need, and contact Justice League associated assets in order to meet those needs. I can also handle discussions with other agencies concerning operational matters, though obviously higher level negotiations would need to be handled either by Batman or a designated member of the Justice League."
"Mister Blank mentioned that he'd had his memories removed. Do you..? Did you have that done?"
"Of course, sir. That's part of the reason why I wear a full face mask. I could come from any country or ethnic group and no one could know. We can represent all nations."
And none, naturally.
"What about your accent?"
"Since we're essentially using a power ring translation system, it's simple to turn that into whatever the person we're speaking to thinks is appropriate for a functionary. I imagine that you're hearing me enunciate in the manner of an English butler."
"Close." Hm. "So, is there something that you want me to do?"
"No. This is simply one of a long list of introductory calls I will be making today to acclimatise people to the system that the Global Peace Agency will be using going forwards."
"So are you 'my' Global Peace Agent?"
"No, sir. We're completely interchangeable. Any of us can contact you as needed, and you won't know the difference."
"Okay. That's a bit weird, but obviously… Availability is going to be a bit random, and I can see how it's useful to make sure that there's no loss of efficiency if one of you is busy…"
"Oh, that's not why, sir. We at the Global Peace Agency don't believe in personal attachment. That's why I don't have a face or accent."
"That's a bit strange, but I suppose that's true of Hub City's last two superheroes. Is there anything that you need me to do right now?"
"Not at the moment. Your work in bringing Hub City to full functionality takes precedence. However, Justice League affiliate Squire relayed your idea to increase the number of nuclear power plants worldwide, and that's received approval. Orders have been sent out for construction work and raw materials, so in a few weeks we'd like you to collect the fuel rods."
"A few weeks? Feeling optimistic?"
"The time line is perfectly possible to achieve with new technologies being properly leveraged."
"Alright. Yes, I can be available for courier duty."
"Thank you, sir. The only other matter of local concern is the location of The Question. He hasn't been seen for a considerable amount of time. While turning Hub City into an agricultural manufacturing hub is the most useful thing you could be working on, it would also be useful if he could be located."
"I'll keep an eye out. Anything else?"
"Not at this time, sir. Thank you for your time."
The head disappears, and I…
Huh.
The J.L.I. maintained a team structure. Obviously there were people who weren't superheroes in support roles, but they didn't do hero management. From what I remember of the Earth 12 Justice League… Same sort of thing. The staff were just maintenance, communications and… Canteen? Medical? Something like that.
This is novel.
Incoming message from Honour Guard Lantern Guy Gardner.
Answer.
Guy's face takes the place recently abandoned by the Peace Agent. He's frowning disconcertedly. "Hey Paul, did you just get a super-creepy message from a guy with no face?"
"I'm not sure that I'd call it 'super-creepy'. My creep-resistance has increased a great deal over the last few years." Wait. "How long are you back on Earth for?"
"'couple weeks. Make sure Tora remembers what I look like. See if I can get my head 'round some of what Lantern Priest was tellin' me."
"He is the second best Green Lantern ever. You could learn a lot from him."
He grins. "Second best Green Lantern, huh?"
"I… Actually got around to watching Clarissi Dox fight a little while ago. You know how Lantern Kreon makes constructs that stay there for a second and then vanish because they've done what he needed them for?"
"Yeah?" He looks mildly curious. "Dox does that?"
"It doesn't even stick around for long enough for you to see it. I used to think that a fight between me and him would be a coin toss." I shake my head. "No. I thrash him in raw power, but it would not matter. And that trick Priest has of charging without a personal lantern, I can do that now."
"Yeah, me too. You know he told Hal that he'd need a couple centuries to get good enough to do that?"
I grin. "Optimistic, was he?"
"Puttin' it mildly. But serious, what's with no-face?"
"The League got given extraordinary power-. Extraordinary political power to fix Earth. Batman decided to found his own planetary police force. That was one of their phone operators."
"They gunna be telling me what t'do? I don't f-."
"No. But they can suggest things that could benefit from your attention without tying up a League member on communications duty."
"Like a secretary?"
"Perhaps. But less personal. I'm not completely sure how it's going to work in practice."
"Huh. Weird. But okay, I guess. So what you been up to?"
14th July 2013
08:02 GMT
I stare in confusion at the masked face construct hovering over my ring.
"Forget 'how did you get this number?'. How are you even talking to me?"
"Oh, that's simple, sir. Between Batman's power ring and the Apokoliptian technology built into this station, there's very little on Earth that we can't communicate with."
Huh. I hadn't realised that those could interface in that direction.
"Alright, ah… Who are you?"
"I am a Peace Agent, sir. As you observed yourself, having one man -or even two- oversee the reconstruction of a planet isn't a viable method."
"So in addition to the field agents like Mister Blank, we've got additional administrators."
"Just so, sir. Batman and Mister Atom oversee our work, but unlike before other members of the Justice League could step into their roles. My role is to identify areas of need, and contact Justice League associated assets in order to meet those needs. I can also handle discussions with other agencies concerning operational matters, though obviously higher level negotiations would need to be handled either by Batman or a designated member of the Justice League."
"Mister Blank mentioned that he'd had his memories removed. Do you..? Did you have that done?"
"Of course, sir. That's part of the reason why I wear a full face mask. I could come from any country or ethnic group and no one could know. We can represent all nations."
And none, naturally.
"What about your accent?"
"Since we're essentially using a power ring translation system, it's simple to turn that into whatever the person we're speaking to thinks is appropriate for a functionary. I imagine that you're hearing me enunciate in the manner of an English butler."
"Close." Hm. "So, is there something that you want me to do?"
"No. This is simply one of a long list of introductory calls I will be making today to acclimatise people to the system that the Global Peace Agency will be using going forwards."
"So are you 'my' Global Peace Agent?"
"No, sir. We're completely interchangeable. Any of us can contact you as needed, and you won't know the difference."
"Okay. That's a bit weird, but obviously… Availability is going to be a bit random, and I can see how it's useful to make sure that there's no loss of efficiency if one of you is busy…"
"Oh, that's not why, sir. We at the Global Peace Agency don't believe in personal attachment. That's why I don't have a face or accent."
"That's a bit strange, but I suppose that's true of Hub City's last two superheroes. Is there anything that you need me to do right now?"
"Not at the moment. Your work in bringing Hub City to full functionality takes precedence. However, Justice League affiliate Squire relayed your idea to increase the number of nuclear power plants worldwide, and that's received approval. Orders have been sent out for construction work and raw materials, so in a few weeks we'd like you to collect the fuel rods."
"A few weeks? Feeling optimistic?"
"The time line is perfectly possible to achieve with new technologies being properly leveraged."
"Alright. Yes, I can be available for courier duty."
"Thank you, sir. The only other matter of local concern is the location of The Question. He hasn't been seen for a considerable amount of time. While turning Hub City into an agricultural manufacturing hub is the most useful thing you could be working on, it would also be useful if he could be located."
"I'll keep an eye out. Anything else?"
"Not at this time, sir. Thank you for your time."
The head disappears, and I…
Huh.
The J.L.I. maintained a team structure. Obviously there were people who weren't superheroes in support roles, but they didn't do hero management. From what I remember of the Earth 12 Justice League… Same sort of thing. The staff were just maintenance, communications and… Canteen? Medical? Something like that.
This is novel.
Incoming message from Honour Guard Lantern Guy Gardner.
Answer.
Guy's face takes the place recently abandoned by the Peace Agent. He's frowning disconcertedly. "Hey Paul, did you just get a super-creepy message from a guy with no face?"
"I'm not sure that I'd call it 'super-creepy'. My creep-resistance has increased a great deal over the last few years." Wait. "How long are you back on Earth for?"
"'couple weeks. Make sure Tora remembers what I look like. See if I can get my head 'round some of what Lantern Priest was tellin' me."
"He is the second best Green Lantern ever. You could learn a lot from him."
He grins. "Second best Green Lantern, huh?"
"I… Actually got around to watching Clarissi Dox fight a little while ago. You know how Lantern Kreon makes constructs that stay there for a second and then vanish because they've done what he needed them for?"
"Yeah?" He looks mildly curious. "Dox does that?"
"It doesn't even stick around for long enough for you to see it. I used to think that a fight between me and him would be a coin toss." I shake my head. "No. I thrash him in raw power, but it would not matter. And that trick Priest has of charging without a personal lantern, I can do that now."
"Yeah, me too. You know he told Hal that he'd need a couple centuries to get good enough to do that?"
I grin. "Optimistic, was he?"
"Puttin' it mildly. But serious, what's with no-face?"
"The League got given extraordinary power-. Extraordinary political power to fix Earth. Batman decided to found his own planetary police force. That was one of their phone operators."
"They gunna be telling me what t'do? I don't f-."
"No. But they can suggest things that could benefit from your attention without tying up a League member on communications duty."
"Like a secretary?"
"Perhaps. But less personal. I'm not completely sure how it's going to work in practice."
"Huh. Weird. But okay, I guess. So what you been up to?"
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