With This Ring (Young Justice SI) (Thread Fourteen)

[Mr Zoat]

20th August 2013
10:01 GMT -7

"Mother Box-."

Actually…

"Ping?"

"Persuader, why don't you make a portal for us?"

I can't see her face with that mask on, but I do see her shrug her shoulders. "Because I've got no idea where we're going."

"Do you need to know that? You didn't know what the layout of Challenger Mountain was before you opened a portal to here."

Her shoulders relax as she takes a moment to stare at the blade of the atomic axe. I considered using New God technology to augment it, but I decided against it on the grounds that I've got no idea at all how the blasted thing works and I don't want it to stop working.

"Controller Hinon, right?"

I nod. "Hinon Hee Hanannan."

She raises the axe into a high guard. "Try saying that three times fast."

"Hinonheehanannanhinonheehanannanhinonheehanannanhingonheeharannan-." She stares at me as Iname giggles. I shrug. "I managed three."

Iname stops giggling, looking slightly concerned. "Master, what do we do if the Lady Controller is doing something-"

Persuader swings her axe, slicing through reality and eliminating the space between us and our target.

"- private?"

"Brace for the end-"

Controller Hinon looks up at me through the jagged tear in reality.

"-times. Controller Hinon! Good morning."

She gives me a low wattage glare, then closes her eyes, shakes her head, and drifts slightly to the side so that we can enter…

I look around at the blank walls, utilitarian furniture and the strange machines-.

"Hinon, is this actually where you live?"

"Yes. I don't normally receive guests here, but for you I suppose that I'm obliged to make an exception."

Persuader follows me through, checks for concealed attackers, then for exit points, then puts her back against a solid-looking wall and waits for fighting. Ah, a real knock out the old block.

Iname-. Is already inside, looking around. "It is a very nice home that you have. Very minimalistic."

"It's just because I can't be bothered to decorate."

"I could decorate for you!" Iname smiles. "What colours do you like?"

Hinon sighs, quietly. Then she looks over to Persuader. "Are you going to leave that open?"

Persuader shrugs. Not The Boss Of Me

"Well." Hinon points to the rift with her right hand, and-.

Owowow.

Closes it, causing all three of us New Gods in the room to wince as something very wrong happens to… Something. I cover my reaction best, just tensing up a little. Iname ducks like she just heard the first rumblings of an earthquake and Persuader… She's acting like she's dizzy, staggering a few steps back and forth before she deliberately slams the back of her helmet against the wall to try and clear her head.

"Alright." I make a point of loosening up as the rift snaps shut. "Point made. Be polite to the elderly millennial."

"Especially when you break into her home." Judging us appropriately cowed, she floats over to a… Work surface of some sort. "I have several options for you."

The three of us cluster around, though I sit down because the display is clearly intended to be at a convenient height for maltusians.

"The first is a planet provisionally named Cargg." She brings up an image of a star system… With three suns? "Presently uninhabited. Weakly magical."

Iname peers at it. "Lady Controller, where is the planet?"

The image zooms in…

I frown. "What's it's orbit like?"

"It barely has one. It effectively rests in a LaGrange point while the suns orbit around each other."

"That… Can't be stable."

She rolls her eyes at me. "And yet it is. Cargg has almost constant daylight, though it's far enough away from the stars that the surface temperature is merely 'hot' rather than 'scorching'. If you can't see a star then it's probably raining on you."

I nod. "No seasons, either. Neighbours?"

"No one who wants it. None of them are aggressively expansionist and there are other systems around for them to settle."

"Other planets in the system?"

"Small desolate rocks. They could be mined, but they're all too hot, too small, or have exactly the sort of orbital paths a planet trying to include all three suns sounds like it would have."

"Plants? Animals?"

"Nothing readily domesticable. Quite a few things feed on light or electromagnetic radiation."

That sounds like a killer. "Electromagnetic radiation?"

"Elevated, but you could cope."

I shrug. "We could just build everything underground. This sounds not so much like it's a good option as one which technically meets my requirements." Hm. "Where did the magic come from? Did you drop off you-know-what here?"

"No. We once tried building a superstructure around the three suns."

"Oh? Is any of it still there?"

"No, it was fully demolished."

"Why?"

"The Guardians involved found that Oa made a better centre of operations. Since the superstructure wasn't needed, and we don't continue with pointless projects, the decision was made to scrap it. There are probably one or two odd trace elements in the stars, but that's all that's left."

"This… Sounds like something we can put on the long list." The very long list. "Anything else?"

"Yes." Cargg vanishes, and is replaced by a significantly more normal-looking system. "The Krilt system. Moderate magic presence, no easily inhabitable worlds, but there are a number of planetoids which could easily be adapted to your use."

I sigh. "What's wrong with it?"

"There used to be another planet here. It vanished, and we're not sure where it went."

"You don't know where a planet went?"

"We don't watch everything all the time. Sometimes planets vanish."

"Was it inhabited?"

"Yes-."

"Pass. Next."

 

[Mr Zoat]

20th August 2013
10:44 GMT -7

"…feel that you're being excessively particular about this."

I stare at her in genuine disbelief.

"Hinon, it's a cube."

Persuader gave it her best shot, but then she got bored and got her phone out. Iname is making an effort to stay focused, but every so often her eyes shift to the considerably more interesting game her friend is playing.

Hinon frowns at the image on the display for a moment. "I don't see the problem. Gravity is locally consistent. Even if you step over the edge, you won't see all the way across that face due to light scattering."

"That's not the point. Though, yes, the fact it has edges is a concern for me. It's artificial, right?"

"Yes, it was made by a M-." She frowns. "An extra-dimensional creature."

"When you say 'extra-'?"

"He allegedly exists in five dimensions. I have not checked myself. Based on reports of his behaviour, I think I'd find him quite disagreeable."

"And this place is magical?"

"It has the same connection to the Dream that Earth has."

"And it's not inhabited?"

"It is… Inhabited, in a manner of speaking, but they're more in the manner of organic automata."

"And how many of them are there?"

"About six billion. Humanoid ones. If you include the animal species-."

"I'm not doing a genocide, Hinon."

She sighs. "I'm sure that you'd see it my way if you actually visited the place."

I pointedly make eye contact, then raise my eyebrows. "Yes?" She nods. "Persuader?"

Persuader looks up from her phone. "I dunno, Grayven. I fight with an axe. Six billion could take a while. Wouldn't it be better to use a virus or something?"

"Just go there and see if the people are people or not."

She nods, stows her phone and-

Ping.

-calls for a hush tube before walking through it.

"Master? Should I go as well?"

"Hinon, is that-?" It's a cube planet, of course it's dangerous. "Yes. Observe the pseudopeople, stay out of trouble."

Iname smiles happily. "Yes Master!"

And she's gone.

I sigh, looking down an my midget ally. "Hinon, have I done something to upset you?"

"Worlds that are easy to colonise don't stay uninhabited for long, and magic-rich worlds are rare. Why do you have a problem with cuboids?"

"Because Mxyzptlk will almost certainly come back at some point and I do not want to have to deal with that."

"Whyever not? He never does any lasting harm."

"I just don't want to live in a universe that frivolous and unserious."

She folds her arms across her chest. "Then I'm afraid all I can suggest is suicide. He's here whether you interact with him or not."

"But if I ignore him really hard, then I can pretend until-" I clench my fists. "-I'm in a position to make missiles that fly at right angles to reality." I sigh pointedly, opening my hands. "Do you actually have any serious suggestions?"

"They're all serious suggestions, Grayven. But if you're going to be fussy about it…"

She presses a button, and… Okay, new planet…

"Chemically, it's nearly identical to early Earth. You'll need to do something about the storms, create your own soil and import all manner of plants, animals and microbes. In addition, it's on a major pilgrimage route to the Source Wall so literally everyone will know that someone is colonising it."

I frown. "Pilgrimage route planets don't get left fallow. Even if it's just a layover." I tilt my head back. "Other than needing some work, what's wrong with it?"

"Most species aren't as used to magic as humans are. And there's some evidence of an orbital strike, or… Significant planetary impact, in the recent past. It's not impossible that the planet used to be two planets and actually had an ecosystem but lost it."

My frown deepens. "But it's on a pilgrimage route. Some of those have been active for millions of years. Someone must have seen something."

"This route is only about three thousand years old, and the Knights of Passage only secured it… Two hundred years ago. Planets take a while to stabilise after something like that."

"Okay, ah… How about the neighbours?"

"Source worshippers who are well used to the presence of aliens. There's a Knights of Passage naval yard not too far away and you know how they get about people starting fights near pilgrimage routes."

The Knights of Passage, the second largest law enforcement organisation in the galaxy. Largest in sheer numbers. Anyone who tries to stop people making pilgrimage to the Source Wall can expect a fleet turning up to politely ask them to knock it off. They maintain order in difficult circumstances around sites that are sacred to a lot of religions, many of which don't like each other. Father… Definitely would pick a fight with them, but it would be a big deal.

"That's… Good." I nod. "Alright, I'll take a look myself once the girls are back."

"As you will."

"So why did you put this one last?"

"Because there are so many unknowns, and you would have so much company. The pilgrims will visit."

"Right, but… We'll have our own fleet, and the Knights of Passage are right there."

"Do you want to be dependent on aliens? I rather thought that was something your allies were working to avoid."

"Not in the long term, but this colony only becomes vital if Earth's been wrecked. And if that happens then we've probably lost all of our fleet assets. I won't like it, but I'll swallow my pride if it means that humans don't go extinct. It-."

Iname appears, carrying Persuader in her arms. They both stand still for a moment, Iname breathing hard as she lowers Persuader to her feet.

The Persuader slashes through the hush tube aperture with the atomic axe, forcing it to shut down.

"Girls?"

"Master?" Iname shakes her head. "We should not go there."

I consider them carefully, but I can't see any injuries and Persuader's mask covers up her facial expression. I don't know what's wrong… But I can ask when they've calmed down a little.

"Alright, well, don't worry. We've got a better prospect to check out."

 

[Mr Zoat]

20th August 2013
10:50 GMT -7

I look out across the mountainous terrain, rain pelting down from a storm-encrusted sky. The atmosphere... Even if it wasn't more suitable to be breathed with gills rather than lungs at the moment, it would be difficult for a human to breathe. Plenty of carbon dioxide and not enough free oxygen. Ah… What sort of plants would work somewhere like this? Something historical, resurrected from the Archean? Something new, because plants can actually cope pretty well with an atmosphere like this?

"Hm."

Persuader looks up at the sky for a moment, looking around as she takes in the full size of the storm. Iname just ducks under her umbrella slightly, looking generally less than happy.

"Master?"

"Yes?"

"Why are we not in the Absolute Dominion?"

"Because of the Knights of Passage."

"Do they not like you?"

"Never met them. But while Father's obsession is the Anti-Life Equation, my grandfather was fixated on the Source Wall. The Knights of Passage spent a long time fighting Apokoliptian warships, and while the Absolute Dominion is a decent warship its stealth systems are pretty basic. They'd detect it, muster a fleet and come here to pick a fight."

"The Pax Lex, perhaps?"

"Lex is doing something with it. Besides, it's not exactly roomy. And we can just open a boom tube home whenever we like."

Iname huddles up a little more.

"Iname, it's rain. I know that the material parts of your costume can get waterlogged, but it can't actually hurt you."

Persuader lowers her head to look at her. "Don't you have a helmet?"

"…no. Master, what are we here to see?"

"We're here to go to and fro on the earth, and walk up and down on it." I stride forwards, water running down my face. My skin is sensitive enough to the feel of it on me, but… Heh, it can't even make me feel cold.

"That isn't very helpful, Master."

"Feel the unformed firmament as a god, Iname. Extend your metaphysique into it, become a part of it. What does it feel like?"

She peers up at the sky for a moment, then takes a deeper than usual breath. Life To Death

I notice as Persuader tries to copy her. Most of her lessons with Knockout have focused on physical manifestation; how to magnify her physical abilities in combat with her innate magics. Knockout… Well, there's no reason why Granny Goodness would have taught her things like that, and she isn't really the sort to take the initiative on intellectual or spiritual matters. But… To Destroy

I make a blade of my hand and stab it downwards into the rock, fracturing the layer of settled debris and reaching the harder rock beneath. Ah, not eroded away enough to make soil. It's going to be easier to import soil…

"I feel…" Iname looks in the direction of the nearest ocean. "Something… Barely alive. In the sea."

"Ah, good." I nod. "Simple plankton, probably. Anything else?"
Death To Life
Her eyes widen slightly, her grip on her umbrella loosening. "Yes… There used to be… More. An ecosystem." She shivers, and while she may not be as tough as me I don't believe for a moment that it's from the cold. "And now it's all gone."

Persuader abandons her own… Honestly, it looks like she's trying to force out a fart. And puts her left hand on Iname's left shoulder. "Hey, you okay?"

Iname blinks. "Hm?"

"You kinda spaced out a bit."

"I've never felt a cycle that's been severed like.. this…" She looks to where the umbrella is hanging loose from her hand as the rain flows freely over her. "Huh. You were right, Master."

"It has been known to happen. Nothing left, then?"

She shakes her head, frowning. "But… There is magic here. I can feel that. It… Doesn't feel like Earth."

I nod. "It won't. Earth's special. Still, it doesn't feel as weak as Vega, does it?" She shakes her head. "Could you get a feel for the planet itself?"

"No, Master. It's too slow."

"That's why we call it a geographic timescale. Persuader?"

"Ah… Maybe? I think… Something wasn't destroyed here."

"The planet is mostly in one piece, though it's nice to know it's not on a delayed collapse."

"No, like… Something got hit real hard, but they decided not to hit it hard enough to kill it."

Hm. Alright. "Any idea who? Or what they hit?"

She shrugs, shaking her head. "Uh-uh-uh?"

"Anything at all?" She shakes her head again. "Okay, I'm going to schedule you some more god-power usage lessons. I'm not annoyed at your progress, but it's an area it would be helpful if you improved."

"Fine. What about you?"

"Let's have a look." Be Raised Up In My Sight

It takes a moment for my vision to settle, but just as it did for Equestria I see what this planet could become. Places where rivers will flow when the storm systems stabilise. Places for mining, places for farming, places for industry, ship-building… And more to the point, I feel no resistance to it. Because… There's no one here, presumably. No world-sphere of predetermined ideas providing inertia. That… Could be interesting for future colonisation sites, but for now… It's probably easier to go with what we know.

Wouldn't want to waste a place like this on the Citizenry, not while-.
…

While…

I frown at Persuader and Iname. "Did you feel that?"

Persuader shrugs, while Iname frowns. "I felt you envelop the whole world, Master. Was there something else?"

"I thought there was. Maybe… Something left over from when this planet actually had living things on it. Didn't get a… Bearing…"

"Is it a problem, Master?"

"Probably not, but I need to look into it anyway." Probable impact point is… That way. Mother Box?

Ping.

I look at the space where a boom tube hasn't appeared.

"Mother Box?"

… Ping.

"Ah." Persuader hefts her axe. "We stuck?"

I nod. "Looks like. Don't use that on Mother Box."

Ping.

"Yeah, obviously." She slashes downwards, a green line forming-.

BOOOMPF!

The slash collapses explosively, sending Persuader flying across the mountainside! She manages to dig the axe haft in to arrest her movement, but she's clearly surprised.

As am I.

"Well. This just got interesting."

 

[Mr Zoat]

20th August 2013
10:50 GMT -7

Persuader stares at her axe. "The fuck?" "Work properly!"

I hold out my right hand in a 'stop' sign. "Don't do-."

BOOOMPF!

"That." I amble over to where Persuader is lying on her back. "Persuader, I know that Knockout is very much in favour-" I offer her my right hand. She takes it, and I pull her upright. "-of beating lessons into a person's head, but that isn't the only way that you're allowed to learn."

"Right. Yeah. So what's wrong with my axe?"

"I don't know." Scan the thing… Arm Loyal Vassal

No errors detected.

I shrug. "Seems fine to me. Does it feel strange?"

Persuader looks at it carefully. "My hands kinda hurt."

"Oh!" Iname zips in, purple healing ray in hand. "Do you-?"

"It's fine, really." Persuader waves her off. "It's just bruising. Can I still cut..? Regular stuff?"

I shrug. "It's tied to your bloodline. I can't test it for you." I bend down and pick up a rock. "Ready?"

She nods, and I gently toss it towards her in the easily predictable arc which I've mastered playing French Cricket with my children. While I do have better reactions and coordination than they do, it's basically impossible to protect my legs with a bat that-

Persuader swings, slicing the rock neatly in two.

-small.

I nod. "Okay, good. Regular cutting is fine, spatial cutting is not."

"So, what now?"

"Now?" I turn away and start walking in the direction of the probable impact point. "Now we've got five hours before Jean's alarm goes off and she makes enquiries as to our location. Maybe seven before a ship turns up. So as long as you've brought water and a snack, you should be fine."

Persuader looks up at the clouds again. "I think water's covered."

"Persuader, nutrient packs are a standard survival item included with those E.D.F. belts that we-."

"Yeah, I-." She slumps slightly "It's a perfect size for my phone, so I just take it out and put the phone in."

"By the Source, you're a teenager. Iname-."

"I have many pockets, Master." She points. "My phone goes here-" She points to a pouch on her abdomen. "-and my snack goes here." She points to a pouch on her side.

I nod. "Well prepared. Persuader, if you want a phone pouch then we can just make one for you. It's not complicated, but getting cut off from resupply-." She mutters something. "I beg your pardon?"

"I just-. I bet the Justice League sidekicks don't have a snack pouch. It sounds lame."

"Lame-? Okay, for one, Kid Flash most certainly used to have a snack pouch because otherwise he'd starve to death. And I'm pretty sure that Robin did too. And Robin had his communication system strapped to his arm. Now, if you're quite finished..?"

She nods. I suspect that she rolled her eyes, but her eye guards make it difficult to tell.

"Right. The only interesting feature on this planet is the impact crater, so that's where we're going in the meantime. Start walking, girls."

I stride across the rain-slick ground, Persuader and Iname just behind me.

"Master, I can run there?"

"I know. But if this is the action of a hostile party, I don't want you turning up on your own."

"Then why not use your power rings?"

"They're a bit less resilient than the atomic axe. Also, they glow, and power ring constructs are remotely detectable far more easily than passive usage is. Similarly, I'm not doing bounding leaps because seismic sensors could pick that up easily."

"So what is it, Master?"

"I don't know. A stronger New God could prevent a boom tube opening, if their nature aligned with the action and they had the right equipment. I'm slightly concerned that my brother Orion might have set something up, but that would require him to know in advance that we would be here and I can't think of a reason for Hinon to stab us in the back like that. Plus, he's not patient. If this was an ambush, he'd be here already."

Iname frowns thoughtfully. "Maybe he doesn't like rain?"

"Ah… I doubt that's an issue, but I can't say that I've ever actually asked him. Mother Box, make a note."

"Ping?"

"Are you busy?"

"Ping."

"Right. The possibility that I'm actually worried about is it being my grandfather. It shouldn't be; I checked a couple of weeks ago and he was still on the Source Wall, but he could definitely do that."

Persuader nods. "Is he worse than your dad?"

I nod emphatically. "Oh heck yes. Take away the Omega Force and Anti-Life Equation and my father is just a mildly enhanced guy. Either of you could kill him. My grandfather doesn't need external power sources."

"Knockout hasn't mentioned him."

I flap my right hand. "He overreached and got stuck on the Source Wall long before she was born. Father doesn't talk about him much. But it's almost certainly not him, because you don't come back from the Source Wall. And… It shouldn't be as easy for a New God to stop the atomic axe as it is to stop a boom tube. I honestly have no idea how that thing works. Which… Means that this is probably something else."

"Master… Is it something to do with why this planet has magic?"

"It shouldn't have anything to do with that, because I can't think of anything that would bind a piece of the material universe to the Dream and block exotic transportation methods. But as of right now I suspect that it does."

It is strange. The only thing I can think… Of-.

I look downwards. "I'm a fool. The planet's thaumosphere is blank. If this planet became thaumically active early in its life like Earth did, there would have been an impression made by the existing plants and animals. And it would linger. That means that it only became thaumically active after it was devastated."

Persuader nods. "Okay. So does that tell us what did it? Like… Did something magical just hit the planet really hard and make it magical?"

"Ah… I doubt it but I can't rule it out. The amount of magic that you'd need in order to force a connection like that is… Huge. We're not talking about tearing apart one big elemental or something. This is… Odd."

"But we can kill it, right?"

"Persuader." I frown at her. "Of course we can kill it."

 

[Mr Zoat]

10th December 2022
06:41 GMT

"Teleporters?" I fire railgun rounds into a small herd of… Pinkies? Causing them to burst. "This happened because of teleporters?"

Corporal Taggart nods. "What I heard. Wasn't exactly invited to the briefing."

"You weren't? Why wouldn't they brief a marine taking part in the operation?"

He huffs contemptuously. "Wasn't supposed to be taking part. I was only on Mars for my court-martial. Guess they figured they might as well get some use out of me."

"They brought you to Mars for a court-martial? Isn't that..? Really expensive, when they could just do it on Earth?"

He shrugs. "They were sending the rocket anyway. One guy's not that much extra fuel. And if I'm already on Mars they can just give me shit duty there."

Mazikeen tosses the imp head that she was studying into the pile. "What were you being tried for?"

"Mutiny and assault on an officer. Maybe attempted murder, I wasn't really listening."

And unlike last time, I actually recognised this setting. Doom. We're probably talking to the main character, and… I wish I'd played more than the shareware version. With the invulnerability cheat turned on all the time.

"Did you do it?"

"Yeah, I did it. Fucker ordered my fire team to murder a bunch a' unarmed monks. He got his. B.F.'s grabbed me, but word got around. Couldn't try me on Earth without the hippies reaming the whole government." He looks around as Sandro sends a group of zombified marines ahead of us. "You do this kind of thing a lot?"

"Specifically this? Fighting demons isn't a daily occurrence, but this isn't my first time. And our teleporters usually don't route themselves through Hell. That seems less than wise."

He snorts. "Tell me about it. But stuff like this? The skeleton's a wizard and you're dressed like a superhero."

"That's because I am a superhero."

He raises his eyebrows. "Fuckin' a'."

"It has its moments. Of course, we also have supervillains."

"Is it like the comic books, or can you just shoot them?"

"You can, but you wouldn't believe the amount of fuss that generates. Ah, sorry, this is probably a bit of a personal question, but do you know much about your family history?"

He hesitates, then his eyes drift down to the rail rifle I created for him. "No. Me and Dad don't see eye to eye and Mom died years ago."

"Do you remember her maiden name?"

"Ah… Something Jewish or Polish? … Blasterwitz?"

"Blazkowicz?"

He frowns curiously. "You knew her?"

"There's a distinct possibility that you're descended from World War Two commando William Joseph Blazkowicz."

He appears to take that in his stride. "He ever fight demons?"

"Yes. And zombies, Nazis-." For a moment I consider correcting myself to 'national socialists', but decide against it. "And he once fought a power armour wearing Adolf Hitler."

He stares at me. "Adolf Hitler had power armour? They don't even give us power armour!"

"There is no justice."

"Did the demons look like these things?"

"No. The biggest one looked like a giant minotaur. I don't remember what the others looked like."

He nods. "Haven't seen any like that yet. Maybe these are just the little ones."

"Probably."

"Orange Lantern." Sandro's hands are glowing. "I believe that I have located the focal point of the ritual which the demons are using to hold the portal open."

"Neat. Where is it?"

"In that direction." He points out across the barren rock of Phobos. "I'm not certain exactly what it is. Demons on Ashan use different methods to escape Sheogh."

Taggart pulls a tablet out of his armour and calls up a map. "Okay, we're in the labs. That takes us past Central Processing, but there shouldn't be anything there. It's just some storage bunkers."

Sandro nods. "The demons may well have built it themselves, or brought it with them from whatever realm they originate."

"What happens when we blow it up?"

"I don't know enough about these demons to say. It may simply prevent more from appearing, or those here may find themselves drawn back into their realm. I certainly can't think of any downside to it."

Taggart frowns. "Won't clean out the rest of the facility, but that's probably gunna be a whole lot easier if they can't get reinforcements."

"Mazikeen?"

"I should be able to shut down whatever sort of portal it is. Unless we don't find Angelica, in which case we may need to go through it."

"Right. So far they haven't had anything that's a real threat to us, but if they're going to change that, this is where they'll do it. Sandro, do you know Summon Phoenix?"

"Of course."

"Right. Taggart, you're squishiest. You're more useful as a spare pair of eyes. You're on overwatch. Call out threats and take shots of opportunity."

Taggart considers that for a moment, then looks pointedly at Endymion. Endymion frowns, draw his sword and swings it in an arc through a nearby wall before returning it to its scabbard.

"Right. You an officer?"

"Actually, yes. I hold the rank of Illustres in the Orange Lantern Corps, roughly the equivalent of a green beret colonel."

"Huh. Alright. Not exactly living up to my demon-slaying great grandpa."

"Getting you better gear would require too much retraining. Sandro, crowd control. Start with the phoenix. I've never seen one before. Mazikeen, countermagic. Some sort of ritual is just about the only way they can hurt me so please make sure that they don't get to use one."

"These demons have shown no sophisticated magic. But I will be ready to act."

"Great. Endymion, bodyguard. Slash anything that gets close."

He nods, and I extend my environmental shield around the whole team and lift everyone into the air. The… Well, not 'north', but in the direction Sandro indicated. I can see the construction… And Taggart was right, it's a lot smaller than the other structures around the crater. There's an area where the rock has just… Been broken through to the surface, and-.

I recognise those pillars. That's the end of the freeware version of Doom. There should be a Baron of Hell inside each one. But the… Walls around them appear to have already been lowered. Why would-?

The teleportation pad shimmers as… Some sort of white demon I don't recognise teleports through, and-.

I'm on fire!

 

[Mr Zoat]

10th December 2022
06:45 GMT

Regenerating my own flesh as fast as I can, I drop the other four onto the roof of the storage bunker beneath us before-.

Endymion tosses a rose to me. Uh-. That-.

That douses the fire the moment it touches me, okay. Useful. I grab the rapidly decaying rose in my right gauntlet while generating a railgun construct. None of the demons we've encountered have had exotic resistances, just tough flesh. As such I feel reasonably confident as I load an iron slug and fire.

The white demon looks mildly confused by the fact that I'm not on fire, but it's clearly intelligent enough to recognise the railgun. It dives to the side, railgun round slamming into the stonework next to it. The second round strikes it in the side as it scrambles back to its feet, knocking it off the teleporter pad and onto the ground behind it.

I… Don't remember if Doom has any flying demons. I think I remember… Red ball things, and burning skulls? I don't remember either of them being particularly fast or agile and I certainly can't see them-

I shift to the side as the pillars containing the Barons of Hell open and one of them takes the opportunity to throw a ball of green plasma at me.

-here.

With the cry of a constipated cockerel, a phoenix explodes into the air to my left. It's… Big. If it were laid out then it would be about ten metres, beak to tail tip. Its wings are leathery and dragon-like, but constantly wreathed in flame which burns without the need for an external fuel source. It has a long neck with a raptorial head at the end. At the other end of the torso are a pair of chicken-like legs while the various parts of its tail droop down like the fronds of a mostly-plucked peacock.

It dives down, smacking one of the Barons with burning wings and tail and causing it to stagger aside.

"Mazikeen, what's the portal doing?"

"Growing in power. Someone is deliberately trying to send something large through."

I move around the combat area and nail the white demon in the head, knocking it down. "Is it two-way?"

"Yes."

I hear Taggart take a shot at one of the Barons as they throw plasma at the phoenix. I'm not sure if plasma counts as 'fire' for the purpose of its flame immunity, but it should have pretty decent defence and hit point stats. Two demons shouldn't be able to kill it quickly. They're only a bad spell in game because a single big creature isn't a threat to a mid-game army, not because their stats are low. If you could summon more than one at a time…

"Then I think we'll take advantage of their generosity. End-."

Endymion has left from the roof and is currently slashing at-. Scan. Nearly invisible pinkies which were lurking around the Baron's pillars. He doesn't seem to have any trouble either in locating them or cutting them down.

"Never mind. Is that plausible?"

"Certainly, but we won't know where we'll end up."

The last of the rose crumbles to ash in my hand, and the white demon raises its arms again… Only for my x-ionised sabot shot to tear its left arm from its shoulder.

"Raagh!"

"Okay." I drop down to just above head height, making eye contact with the white demon. "Hello there."

The demon doesn't bother holding its wound, but instead crouches with its remaining claws extended to tear at me. Its facial structure is essentially human, though it lacks lips and its cranium is significantly taller.

"I know that you can understand me. And I know that you're intelligent. Shooting me required you to understand that I was the one holding the others up. Thinking. Planning. And I will tell you now that I will understand whatever you say. So on the off-chance that this is some sort of cosmic misunderstanding, what's going on? What's this in aid of?"

"Blood and souls for Hell! Torture! Pain!"

"And that's it?"

"It is-" It throws itself at me, golden fire billowing around its remaining claw. "-for y-"

My crumbler ram construct hits it in the chest, smashing it against the side of the teleporter plinth and disintegrating its torso.

"-hrr."

"Okay."

I fly upwards, railgun construct seeking targets. One of the Barons has been burned to death by the phoenix, while the other-. Dies to a railgun shot to the head as I watch. Endymion has finished the invisible pinkies and has moved to engage the herd of regular ones swarming up from the bunker. Mazikeen forms bat-like wings for a moment to fly down from her perch. She lands next to the teleporter and begins studying it.

"This is not human technology."

"Sure?"

"It's a block of stone, wreathed in spells. I suspect that the… Pink minotaur things created it. Their sarcophagi appear to be energy siphons of some sort."

"From them to the teleporter?"

"No. From wherever they came from into them."

"Ah!" Sandro flies in on the back of his phoenix, patting out the fires burning across his clothing as he dismounts. "That sounds more familiar-. Oh, you tore the arm off and disintegrated its chest. I was hoping to raise its corpse."

"It was intelligent and a magic user, using an unfamiliar work of magic. We're going to the place it came from, where it undoubtably has allies. Raising it would have certain-"

A zombified Baron of Hell lumbers over.

"-risks. Can it talk?"

"Certainly it can! There might be a little missing after Corporal Taggart shot it in the head, but it should remain fully capable of speech and recollection."

"Gruuhk!"

Sandro stares at it for a moment, then turns back to me. "Should."

"Demon, what are you?"

"I am a.. warrior of Hell. I.. hold the rank of.. baron."

"Good show. Is the demonic attack on Mars a happy accident, or did someone plan it?"

"The eldest has.. been watching for.. some time. Waiting for a human to.. open a portal again. This was not.. like before, not.. an evocation, but many small.. crossings. It took time.. to learn how to.. interfere. We were sent to secure this.. beachhead. To bring more of.. Hell's energy with us, until it encompasses.. Earth. But then an angel.. fell from the sky, and everything… Changed."

"Where was she taken?"

"To the greatest.. of the new ones. Those who will.. overrun the Earth while the eldest ensures that.. the anchor remains."

"And where are the new ones now?"

"Dis. In Hell."

"And where does this portal go?"

"The stolen moon. The dark presence will make.. the moon its vessel and.. destroy this plane of.. existence."

"And where is Deimos in relation to Hell?"

"Above it."

"Thank you." I look up to where Taggart is trying to work out how to get down from the roof, tether him and transition him to us. Endymion strolls towards us, flicking pinkie blood from his sword.

"Right then. Next stop, Hell."

 

[Mr Zoat]

20th August 2013
11:05 GMT -7

"…who we're going to war with next."

I nod. "Persuader, if you want to join Dox in fighting the Reach, you are free to do so. On company time, even, assuming that I don't have a mission for you. But I imagine that he would much prefer more of a time commitment than you're able to give."

"I'd rather fight for you. But you don't have any enemies on Earth."

"Persuader, I sign your timesheets. You've been fighting and killing every single week since you entered my service."

"Petty criminals. None of them threaten me. They're boring."

I nod. "I know, but it's useful work. Your efforts have reduced the availability of cocaine across the western world, and caused the murder rate to drop to a fraction of what it was in a dozen countries. Side effects include a reduction in corruption in government and an increase in agricultural output-."

She mutters something.

"I beg your pardon?"

She shrugs truculently. "I didn't say anything."

Yes, I'm sure that I didn't hear you mutter 'nerd'.

"There are a gladiatorial arenas you could go to. I think Okaara has some. Rashashoon does as well-."

Persuader's avoiding looking at me. They both are.

"You've been going there already, haven't you?" Two awkward nods. "Have you at least been taking Knockout with you?"

Persuader shrugs. "It was a three-person event."

"We did really well, Master!"

"Well, yeah, you're probably both in the top thousand most dangerous people in this galaxy. Regular fighters aren't even going to touch you. Did they at least seed you properly?"

Persuader shrugs. "Took a couple of fights."

"You don't have to do these things behind my back, you know. If you'd told me, I'd have come and cheered you on."

"You were on a date."

"Ah… Date or 'date'?"

"Ew."

"Luna isn't as against pit fights as you might at first-." Huh. Thought I… Saw something in the clouds. "As you might assume."

Iname picks up on it at once. "What is it, Master?"

I point upwards with my right index finger. "Can you see anything up there?"

And Sinesto, scan.

Nothing at present, Lantern Grayven.

"Like what, Master?"

Ah, I was mistaken.

A Citizenry Provider breaches the cloud layer and lunges towards us!

"That."

"Finally!" Persuader swings her axe, opening a portal to just above it. She drops out, axe blade pointing down-. And the Provider twists in the air, causing her to fall past it.

What the Hell is a Provider doing here? There's nothing to eat here, and they're just about the least efficient weapon system against an actual hard target. To say nothing of the fact that we're nowhere near anywhere the Citizenry have ever gone because they knew perfectly well that they'd die to an actual organised military like the Knights of Passage. It doesn't have a faster than light system, so…

And wouldn't Hinon-

And me.

-have detected it?

I take a closer look as it swims closer.

Are those tron lines-? Oh dear.

I leap as it chomps at me, flying across the landscape before hitting the ground and rolling to my-. It's turned in the air and-. Move.

The flight aura around me flickers and dies.

Sinestro?

I don't know. I'm running error checks-.

Run them-

I jump up, the Provider's head turning to follow me, and for one decidedly discomporting moment I can look right down its gullet.

-faster.

I land about halfway down its back, drawing my daiklave and shoving it into its flesh. More for purchase than in any expectation that it'll hurt the thing.

"Master!" Iname is zipping between the Provider's coils as it smashes them against the rocky ground! "What should I do?!"

The bit I'm standing on stops moving-. Here comes the head again. Alright, extract the daiklave and prepare…

"It's focusing on me. Get to the impact site, find out what's going on."

"But-!

"I'm fine. Go." By My Command

She jerks as if she'd received a mild electric shock, then turns and zooms off towards the horizon. Uh, not sure where Persuader ended up, but she should be tough enough to survive most things.

The head comes in and I leap, sword ready. It tilts its head upwards again, but if I've judge the angles right-.

Hah! I swing my daiklave overhead, striking it on the nose with the full force of my superstrength-.

The daiklave breaks.

Fuckingshit!

I rise upwards slightly from the force of the impact, which means that rather than flying straight into its mouth my upper torso strikes its nose and it's just my legs that end up there. Greh! I scrabble for purchase, left hand grabbing a scale as I thrust my right fist into its nostril!

G-AH!

It just chomped down, and I think it's writhing-. My leg armour held and I think I mostly got gummed-. Okay, that's a tooth-. Buh!. It's slamming me into the ground-. Legs around the tooth, okay, reach down with my left hand, draw the Sword of the Fallen and stab-.

The Provider vanishes, and I hang in the air for a moment before falling the short distance to the ground.

I'm on my feet again almost immediately, looking around, Sword at the ready. No Provider, no other threats-.

And no Imane, and no Persuader.

What's going on?

 

[Mr Zoat]

20th August 2013
11:08 GMT -7

"Sinestro?"

"I can't detect them, Lantern Grayven."

"Why not? Neither of them use stealth equipment."

"I don't know. My first guess would be some manner of device which disrupts power ring scans over a wide area, but few civilisations have ever developed such a technology and none of them would have a reason to leave it on a barren world like this."

"You don't think this is a qwardian testing planet, do you? Apokolips has a few places we leave fallow to train parademons on."

"I can detect qwa matter. It's fairly distinctive. And while I can't promise you that I can detect every form of matter/anti-matter transition technology they could invent, I can't detect any sign of the known ones. Besides, the qwardians are not a subtle people."

I nod. "A giant snake isn't very subtle." But he's right. And copying an alien's work? I'm not sure there's enough money in the universe for even a mercantilist like Varnathon to accept that. "And where did it go?"

"Are we certain that it wasn't a multi-sensory illusion of some kind?"

I hold out my right hand. Come

The remains of my daiklave fly into my hand, grip delivering itself into my palm and what's left of the blade jutting out sadly from the guard.

"Something broke this off. Something tougher than my armour."

"Do you believe that it was a Provider created with New God technology?

"No, because that's nonsense. Tron lines are part of how our machines channel our divine power. There are plenty of engineered monsters on Apokolips, but they don't look like that. Even our independent robots don't have them."

"So we're back to an illusion. Or a projection with a physical component.

"Alright, but I hit something."

"Programmable matter?"

"All programmable matter systems I know about have limits. And not trying to sniff my own farts here, but I'm pretty strong. Tanking the daiklave and vanishing when I used the Sword of the Fallen? No system I know could do that."

"Which leaves magic."

"A known issue with a thaumically active world, not one that should be a problem with one that's uninhabited."

"Why assume that we would be able to detect the magician better than we could the Provider?"

"Because that's not how conjuring works. Summoning something that powerful would require it to already exist in the thaumosphere, and then a ritual to bring it forth. We all recognised it as a Provider, and I can tell that the thaumosphere is blank. A really powerful and skilful magician might have been able to pull something right out of the Dream, but the chance of a Dream manifestation being that powerful and looking exactly like a Provider is… Basically zero. Morpheus himself couldn't do that."

"Are you certain that we're on the planet?"

"Are you asking me if I'm dreaming?"

"Or if we could have physically entered the Dream."

"Theoretically possible, except that I've been resonating with other New Gods, and Luna isn't here. Resonances can occur when one party is asleep, but since they can't consciously respond it feels very different. And Luna can enter my dreams whether she's asleep or awake."

"As I recall it, she still has yet to pay you back for that 'disappearing star' trick."

Um.

He's right, unless you count-.

"No, I'm pretty sure that whole retirement village thing was supposed to be a prank. I think I was a reasonable sport about playing along, but I don't… I don't think she'd use a cannibal snake for something like that."

"What, then?"

"I don't know." I start walking in the direction of the impact crater. "I do know that we're lucky that Iname speaks good English."

"And that I do."

I frown. "Translation is down for you, too?"

"Relk tan chall dan."

"Sorry, I never learned Korugari."

"That's not what the language is called."

"See?"

Okay, Iname should be at the impact site now. She'll do a visual assessment at high speed, find… Probably nothing, and then move in for a closer look. There shouldn't be much there; an impact that size doesn't leave a crater so much as mountains, but if there is then she's got sensor goggles and her own New God abilities. Magic users generally struggle with the combination of speed and exotic resistance.

I'm more worried about Persuader.

She's tough and armoured, but that's it. For a magician who can conjure monsters, she's an easy target.

I look at the broken remains of my most recent daiklave again. And then I toss it away.

Okay, the atomic axe should survive better, but…

"Luna?! If this is a prank, you have outdone yourself! Well done! I am genuinely worried!"

"I don't think that's likely."

"Me neither."

"I can understand not flying if you fear that the flight aura of your rings and your aero-discs might stop working, but why are you walking at a normal pace?"

"So I don't miss anything. And so that Persuader can catch up."

"Given the way she vanished, I suspect that whatever mind directed that magic manifestation is more likely to blame than her getting lost on a flat piece of rock a few metres from your position."

"I agree. Still, even if she was dragged into some sort of pocket universe, she should be able to cut her way out with the atomic axe. But…"

Yeah, if she didn't do that right away, then she's probably not going to.

I shrug, lean forwards and start to r-.

The clouds above me part, stars beyond them seem to wheel, a shape manifesting from the night sky.

It's-.

"Luna?" I stare up at her, dumbstruck. "It actually was you? Damn, I'm-."

The blast from her horn hits me in the chest, smashing me to the ground!

"Die, butcher!"