[RWBY] RWBY Shorts

[AndrewJTalon]

Here's a fun, ridiculous idea:

Nora gets a real live working set of Cupid's bow and arrows. Unfortunately she's a terrible shot with a bow and arrow.

Even more unfortunately, she keeps trying. And chaos ensues.

Cinder is hot for Mercury and he's terrified.

Yang, Glynda and Pyrrha are fighting over Jaune. Whitley is trying to impress Ruby. Cardin is trying to serenade Blake.

Coco is chasing Russel down with whips and he is TERRIFIED.

Sun is about to get shackled by an amorous Weiss.

May is tying up Neptune and dragging him off.

And so on. Because Nora just can't seem to hit Ren and get him focused on her!

 

[ExFelineServer3]

The one, almost, successful time Nora aims and releases for Ren, he either bends down or turns or shifts just enough for the arrow to slightly tag a piece of clothing before passing by and hitting someone else

 

[AndrewJTalon]

Nora hits a hot fox Faunus woman... Who proceeds to jump Professor Port.

Port: "Oh my, darling! We're at school-!"

Fox Girl: "But I want another baby, my love~!"

Nora: "Wait, he's married!? To her?!"

Port: "My overwhelming masculinity is what attracted her!"

 

[Gyron]

We get a combination of a time travel and cloning/splicing plot where Jaune is turned into a number of different versions of himself. We get normal Jaune, older and much more mature 'daddy' Jaune, baby Jaune that causes every motherly instinct to go into overdrive, and old man Jaune who seems crazy but is the definition of 'beware the old man in a world where men die young' trope.

Mature Jaune causes every older woman to become either flustered, enamored, or downright down bad. We're taking innately suave and smoother than a frictionless surface, but not as dense as his younger self and willing to have fun with it without hurting others. Glynda is calling Isabel to warn her of her future(?) son's power level and Isabel knowingly gives Glynda her favor, much to the headmistresses' mortification.

Old Jaune scares the piss out of Ozpin and Salem alike since even though he seems crazy, he just took down a wyvern Grimm in a single strike and with all the effort of making a pot of tea. He also may or may not be speaking with the Blacksmith when he's seemingly rambling.

Normal Jaune takes care of baby Jaune, the latter of whom has people wrapped around his little fingers and is so cute Weiss almost suffers a stroke. Pyrrha meanwhile starts to develop baby rabies and must resist making Jaune a dad for real while helping take care of baby Jaune. Baby Jaune also teams up with Zwei for double the cute and may or may not kill the Grimm inside Cinder from just his cuteness alone.

Click to shrink...

Old Man Jaune, former Rusted Knight, now the Avatar of Change and the Blacksmith's Favorite Son, mostly because he stays in contact with his mom unlike his wayward elder siblings.

 

[AndrewJTalon]

When when Nora's next arrow goes awry and hits emerald everyone waits in apprehension to see what she'll do. Absolutely nothing changes, she's already obsessed with cinder. Everyone except Cinder and Mercury thinks her obsession came from the arrow.

Nora cries when she hits Penny. The friendly robot flies off with Ren.

Nora: "HELP ME JAUNE-JAUNE!"

Jaune: "I-I'm a little busy, Nora!"

Yang: "HE'S MINE!"

Pyrrha: "MINE!"

Glynda: "STAND ASIDE GIRLS! HE NEEDS A WOMAN!"

Nora: "Oh no! How could this have happened?!"

Jaune: "YOU SHOT THEM!"

Nora: "Oh yeah."

 

[Bommel]

It's worth noting that Cupid/Eros didn't just have love arrows (which were gold tipped), but also arrows of hate (tipped with lead).

Spoiler: The Mythology Guy on Cupid. 💗💖💘

 

[TheFabulousCustodes]

Here's a fun, ridiculous idea:

Nora gets a real live working set of Cupid's bow and arrows. Unfortunately she's a terrible shot with a bow and arrow.

Even more unfortunately, she keeps trying. And chaos ensues.

Cinder is hot for Mercury and he's terrified.

Yang, Glynda and Pyrrha are fighting over Jaune. Whitley is trying to impress Ruby. Cardin is trying to serenade Blake.

Coco is chasing Russel down with whips and he is TERRIFIED.

Sun is about to get shackled by an amorous Weiss.

May is tying up Neptune and dragging him off.

And so on. Because Nora just can't seem to hit Ren and get him focused on her!

Click to shrink...

Where Velvet at?

 

[AndrewJTalon]

Where Velvet at?

Click to shrink...

Nora got her in another shot... And now she's pursuing Cardin as well.

 

[Bofors40mm]

Well found this nice image while trawling. Hope its useful for the Arkos stuff

Pyrrha x Jaune by NeoVisionAI on DeviantArt

www.deviantart.com

got to figure out how to not require it to be a link though.

my internet fu skills need a upgrade
that and QQ has changed its image embed stuff to make it harder.

 

[AndrewJTalon]

Nora ducks behind Jaune after shooting a arrow at a random girl who just happened to be walking by

Jaune: "Wha- Nora!"

Arslan who was just minding her own business before being shot by an arrow looks up to see Jaune and thinks to herself "MINE!"

Jaune: "Arslan before you try anything, just know there's already three women who are trying to get me as well and they'll stop at nothing to destroy anything or anyone that get's in there way. So knowing that, you should probably... and she's already gone off to fight them. Sigh Good job Nora, now there's gonna even more property damage to clean up."

Nora: "True, but Pyrrha and Yang alone couldn't hold off Goodwitch forever. So this way those two get backup, and we get more time to save Renny from that no good flying orangenette hussie!"

Jaune: "Fair enough, but you're still grounded after this."

Momentarily, thanks to the fact Penny is not using her rocket boots at full blast, Jaune and Nora catch up with Penny and Ren.

Penny: "Nora! I am feeling such passion for Ren!" Squeezes him "Is this what they call 'love'?"

Jaune: "No! No, it's been magically induced because Nora's an idiot!"

Nora: "HEY!"

Jaune: "Did you not think of just ASKING Ren out?"

Nora: "Of course I did! And I said it! And did it! And it didn't work! So I had to escalate to using a magical set of bow and arrows to try and get him to feel how I do!"

Jaune: "Okay... Ren? If you'd be willing to be honest with your feelings please?"

Yang: "THERE HE IS!"

Jaune: "Maybe hurry? Like NOW?"

Ren: "Nora... I do care for you. But I'm afraid to take that step because I feel guilty."

Nora: "Guilty? For what?"

Ren: "For living while my friends and family died. And... If I lost you, what would I have then?"

Nora: "Oh Ren, you shouldn't blame yourself for something like. What happened was completely out of our control. The fact that we survived it was a miracle in it of itself."

Ren: "That doesn't change the fact that I lived while others more deserving than I did not. Why should I be allowed to have what they could not?"

Nora: "You lived, that's why. Believing that you are unworthy of having the life those people could have had is dumb. If anything you should be experiencing all that life has to offer. Do all the things they didn't, couldn't, and will no longer be able to do. I don't know why we survived whereas others did not, but I do know it would be a disservice to those people if we didn't use the gift given to us to try and live a life free from regret. You deserve to be happy Ren, to have a life, and though I won't force you to do anything, I think I can help give you it."

Ren: "... How?"

Nora: Grins cheerfully "By being with you, silly!"

Ren: "... Then will you be with me?"

Nora: "Of course I will!" Hugs him

Penny: "Oh... I am now feeling sad and jealous. How should I react?"

Jaune: "It's not real, Penny! None of the feelings induced by the arrows are real!"

Nora: "Nuh uh! They're totally real! It can't work with nothing! That's what the little magic man who gave me them said!"

Jaune: "In what world would some of the strongest, most attractive, and highly Intelligent women I know be in any way shape or form attracted to me!? At least to the degree that getting shot with an apparently magic arrow would get them to fall in love with me."

Pyrrha, Yang, Glynda, and Arslan blush at Jaune's statement about them, but are overall angry at his belief that they wouldn't be able to fall in love with him. Which also makes them all pause.

Jaune: "Okay so let's break the damn curse already!"

Nora: "Spell!"

Jaune: "WHATEVER!" Snaps the bow in half "... Did that work?"

Nora: "No idea!"

Jaune: "No idea?! You didn't even ask the guy how to make it stop?!"

Nora: "... Ohhhh... Shoot. I knew I forgot something!"

Ren: "You really should expect this sort of thing from her by now."

Meanwhile...

Whitley: "... Why are we making out?"

Ruby: "Is that a problem?"

Whitley: "... I suppose not?"

Ruby: "YAY!"

Blake: "Oh thank the Horned God, Cardin's off with that rabbit girl... Sun! Sun, are you-?"

Weiss and Sun are making out.

Blake: "WHAT?!"

Sun: "What? You said we weren't a thing."

Blake: "W-WE WERE!"

Sun: "News to me!"

Written with help from Red Dragon Empress

 

[cliffc999]

Yang, Glynda and Pyrrha are fighting over Jaune.

Click to shrink...

Nora - "Wait, I didn't even shoot any of them!"

 

[AndrewJTalon]

It had been a very, very long day. Teams RWBY and JNPR staggered back to their dormrooms, exhausted, filthy, and in terrible moods.

Except for Nora and Ruby, who were quite chipper all things considered.

Ruby: "Wow... We totally saved a village from an oil tanker spill, guys! Wasn't that great?"

Yang: "Yes... Except for the part where the tanker blew up in our faces."

Ruby: "I said I was sorry! I didn't use just the right mixture of Dust!"

Nora: "But it sure was awesome to watch it explode, right guys? Right guys?"

Pyrrha: "... I'm not talking to you for a week."

Ren: sighs

Jaune: "No pancakes for a month, Nora."

Nora: "What?! COME ON! We saved the village!"

Jaune: "Yeah! And we got blown up instead!"

Ruby: "It wasn't that bad!"

Yang: "It was."

Blake: "It was worse."

Weiss: twitches as Jaune carries her "S-So... So much filth... So much dirt...!"

Jaune: "We're almost there Weiss, it's okay..."

Yang: "Why aren't you carrying me, your sweet, loving fiance?"

Blake: "Or me? Your actual fiance?"

Pyrrha: "Neither of you are his fiances, shut up!"

Jaune: sighs "Because she won't let go of me."

Ruby: "Weiss!"

Weiss: "So filthyyyyy!"

Jaune groans.

Jaune: "Guys, let's just get to the common room, take some showers, go to bed and-"

He opens the door to the common room. Both teams blink at the interior, which is shining and spotless. There are birds flying about, organizing things, while a few raccoons and deer sweep the floors. A beautiful blonde woman in a yellow dress with an apron over it is cleaning and singing.

Lilac: "Lalala, lalalala-Oh! Jaune!"

The beautiful woman walks up and hugs Jaune happily, never minding how filthy he is.

Jaune: "L-Lilac?!"

Pyrrha: eyebrow twitch "Who is this, Jaune?"

Jaune: "Oh, uh, this is my big sister Lilac. Lilac Arc."

Weiss: groans "Another one?"

Lilac: "Oh, you poor dears! Quickly now, quickly!"

The birds and mice and other creatures all fly up or scurry to the Hunters-in-Training.

Ruby: "ACK!"

Nora: "EEP!"

Weiss: "What?!"

Blake: "Huh?!"

Yang: "HEY!"

Pyrrha: "Wha-?!"

Ren: "Huh?"

The worst of the muck is wiped away by the critters, who run off to put their washcloths in a laundry bag. Lilac beams.

Lilac: "There, much better! Now, you all get into the showers! The baths have been drawn and the temperature should be perfect!"

Ruby: "Ah... Um... W-We all...Bathe together?"

Everyone goes bright red at that, save for Ren, who cocks an eyebrow.

Lilac: "Of course! You're all good boys and girls, and you should save water! But if you don't hurry, you'll miss dinner!"

A veritable feast is being cooked on the stove, and a rabbit is tending the pots carefully.

Jaune: smiles "Thanks Lilac. I appreciate it."

Lilac: "Awww! I'm always willing to help my cute, kind, strong little brother! Now go get cleaned up!"

In the bathroom... The girls all look one way while the boys look the other as they clean themselves up.

Pyrrha: "So, um... She seems very nice?"

Ruby: "Yeah! And her Semblance lets her control animals?"

Jaune: sighs "No, she's... Just like that. She's so kind and nice that almost anything will obey her."

Yang: "That's just ridiculous!"

Jaune: "Then why aren't we trying to peek at each other?"

A moment of silence.

Ruby: "Trying implies that I failed!"

Yang: "RUBY!"

Click to shrink...

They came out, clean and dressed in their casual clothes. A veritable feast was laid out on the tables. Lilac was standing there with a wide smile.

Lilac: "Oh good! Come on, let's eat!"

Ruby: "Where did your animal friends go?"

Lilac: "Oh, I told them they could go. They don't like spending too much time indoors." She picks up Zwei and cuddles him "Except for you, you cuddly wuddly little doggie woggie~! Yes, yes you do~!"

Yang and Ruby: scowl, mutter "Traitor."
Jaune: "Easy Lilac, easy."

Lilac: "Mm? OH! Sorry!" Hands Zwei back to Yang and Ruby "Didn't mean to make you jealous! He's really very loyal!"

Zwei: whines and struggles towards Lilac... Even as Ruby and Yang glare at him

They did sit down, Yang and Blake taking either side of Jaune. Even as Pyrrha sat across from him with Ruby. Weiss sat with Nora and Ren. Lilac began to dole out food, still whistling her happy tune. She sits at the head of the table and bows her head.

Lilac: "Let's say grace!"

Blake: "I'm not a believer."

Lilac: "Oh that's all right! Is it okay if I pray for you anyway?"

Blake: "I... Sure?"

Ren: "I'm a believer in Pathism."

Lilac: "Oh. Can I pray for you too then?"

Ren: "Yes?"

Lilac: "Wonderful! Anyone else?"

Nora: "I believe in pancakes!"

Lilac: "But dear, why believe in pancakes and not the one who makes them for you?"

Nora: gasp "I never thought of it that way! REN! YOU'RE MY GOD!"

Ren: "Not what I think she was getting at."

Nora: "Oh! You're right, Jaune makes me pancakes too! Hrrrrmmm... Miss Lilac? I have a theological issue!"

Lilac: "We'll talk about it after we pray!"

Nora: "Okay!"

Jaune: sighs

Lilac: bows her head "Thank you Heavenly Emperor for this meal, good friends, and wonderful company! And may Jaune and his friends triumph in the Vytal Tournament! But without anyone getting hurt too badly! Amen!"

They dug in...
Yang: "... Jaune? Did your sister teach you how to cook?"

Jaune: "Um... She did, yes. But I'm not as good as her."

Lilac: "Oh don't be so modest, Jaune! You'll get better! I can teach you!"

Ruby: "B-Better...?"

Weiss: deep breath "It's... Incredibly good."

Lilac: "Aw, thank you!"

Pyrrha: "Yes, it's wonderful!"

Blake: "It is extremely good. Thank you."

Nora: "Wow... Like hugs on my tongue!"

Ren: "Yes, it is very good."

Lilac: "You're all very welcome!" beams "Especially Jaune's wonderful fiances! I'm so glad you'll be joining our family!"

Weiss: "Wait-Fiances plural?!"

Lilac: "Yes! I mean, Nana Arturia said you were marrying little Ruby, and Great-Aunt Morgana said you were marrying Miss Nikos, and Mrs. Xiao-Long came by to yell and scream at Mom about you getting engaged to her great-granddaughter Yang, and Uncle Phillip told us that Miss Yoruichi said you were engaged to Miss Belladonna-So welcome to the family!"

Jaune: "I-Hang on-!"

Lilac: "Oh don't worry about a thing, Jaune! Aren't you lucky, four wives!"

Jaune: "N-No, we're not really-!"

Lilac: "Mom and Dad are going to be thrilled when they visit and meet all the parents!"

Jaune: "THEY'RE WHAT?!"

Ruby: gasp "I'm engaged too?!"
Pyrrha: happy gasp "I'm engaged to Jaune?!"

Yang: "Oh, well, um, eheh, yeah! Totally!"

Blake: "I'M ALSO PREGNANT!"

Jaune: "BLAAAKE!"

Weiss: scowls "... And why didn't anyone lie about me being engaged to Arc?"

Zwei: whines and climbs into her lap
Weiss: sighs and scratches behind his ears "At least you're here for me."

Zwei: "Arf."

Weiss: "I am not jealous..."

 

[AndrewJTalon]

Nick: "Son? You've come of age and now you're a man. And you now have shown signs of the Arc Family Curse. Just like your mother."

Jaune: "Curse?"

Nick: "The Arc Harem Lead curse."

Jaune: "What."

Nick: "Now... If you can manage the curse effectively, you could have a happy family of several wives and live happily forever after! If you can't? You'll have to fight for your life or die!" beams "Fortunately, your mom and my curses mostly cancelled eachother out! But we did still have to fight a lot of crazy people!"

Jaune: "Uh huh..."

Nick: "And one of them tried to murder your mom! I think she was after her though, not me."

Jaune: "She?!"

Nick: "Yeah! Did you know girls can kiss girls? It's awesome!"

Jaune: "I'm... aware? Wait... That time with that blonde woman with glasses, that tiger lady and Mom in cowkinis and you in a cowboy outfit in the barn-?"

Nick: "Yup! The curse still needs some relief every now and then!"

Jaune: "... I need to go be violently ill in the bathroom."

Nick: "Have fun!"

 

[Dragon Bob]

Nick: "Son? You've come of age and now you're a man. And you now have shown signs of the Arc Family Curse. Just like your mother."

Jaune: "Curse?"

Nick: "The Arc Harem Lead curse."

Jaune: "What."

Nick: "Now... If you can manage the curse effectively, you could have a happy family of several wives and live happily forever after! If you can't? You'll have to fight for your life or die!" beams "Fortunately, your mom and my curses mostly cancelled eachother out! But we did still have to fight a lot of crazy people!"

Jaune: "Uh huh..."

Nick: "And one of them tried to murder your mom! I think she was after her though, not me."

Jaune: "She?!"

Nick: "Yeah! Did you know girls can kiss girls? It's awesome!"

Jaune: "I'm... aware? Wait... That time with that blonde woman with glasses, that tiger lady and Mom in cowkinis and you in a cowboy outfit in the barn-?"

Nick: "Yup! The curse still needs some relief every now and then!"

Jaune: "... I need to go be violently ill in the bathroom."

Nick: "Have fun!"

Click to shrink...

Meanwhile this exact same conversation is playing out with Mama Arc and Jaune's harem. Lots of notes being taken.

 

[AndrewJTalon]

'

Yup, she is. And they are. Together.

 

[Gur40]

Spoiler: Tai was the Team bike

First Qrow then he joined in with Raven and Summers relationship

 

[AndrewJTalon]

Had a bizarre dream where I went back in time and became the CEO of Rooster Teeth and how I would have run it. Maybe I need a vacation.

 

[SharkCultist]

Had a bizarre dream where I became the CEO

Click to shrink...

You sir have given me a dumbass idea!

Jaune doesn't get into Beacon. So what does he do? He unleashes all the spite and critique he has in him in a very strongly worded letter. From the rocket lockers to Goodwitch being a dommy mommy he goes over each and every bit of beacon in his written crashout.

At least he was smart enough not to use his real name. Nobody will connect Jaune Arc the teenage flunky with Sue Donym the 82 year old widow.

What Jaune wasn't smart enough to do was hide his address. So he gets a response letter. They want to offer Sue a position. She takes a good hard look around and makes suggestions for improvement and innovation. If it works great she's full time hired, if it doesn't she's being blacklisted from contacting the school board.

Well. Only one thing for Jaune to do. Tell everyone he's taking video and notes for sure to go over since she's so old and can't move around so good.

It might not be the way he wanted but at least he's in a huntsmen academy. Hell he's gonna be in all of them at some point!


Now he just has to do a effective job while also not being found out for falsifying his identity.

Step one of fixing beacon. Why is the caffeine budget sixteen times that of the infirmary budget?

 

[cavalal386]

snip

Click to shrink...

this feel like the plot of mrs doubtfire, just without the family aspect.