Vaermina
Well worn.
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That ship sailed when you visited the world of magical talking ponies."I just don't want to live in a universe that frivolous and unserious."
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That ship sailed when you visited the world of magical talking ponies."I just don't want to live in a universe that frivolous and unserious."
That ship sailed when you visited the world of magical talking ponies.
Oh, boy. Given that Bizarro isn't really a thing in this universe, I have to wonder how that got there. Dimensional castaway, perhaps? Or someone with a lot more power than that put it together for a joke and forgot about it...20th August 2013
10:44 GMT -7
"…feel that you're being excessively particular about this."
I stare at her in genuine disbelief.
"Hinon, it's a cube."
There's still the disconcerting matter of there being an edge to step over. Never mind the peculiar sort of weather and day-night cycle you'd experience...Persuader gave it her best shot, but then she got bored and got her phone out. Iname is making an effort to stay focused, but every so often her eyes shift to the considerably more interesting game her friend is playing.
Hinon frowns at the image on the display for a moment. "I don't see the problem. Gravity is locally consistent. Even if you step over the edge, you won't see all the way across that face due to light scattering."
A Fifth-dimensional imp, you mean."That's not the point. Though, yes, the fact it has edges is a concern for me. It's artificial, right?"
"Yes, it was made by a M-." She frowns. "An extra-dimensional creature."
Yeah, most straight-laced folks find the imps annoying if not dangerous. Their ability to casually play with reality as if it were clay gets under a lot of people's skins."When you say 'extra-'?"
"He allegedly exists in five dimensions. I have not checked myself. Based on reports of his behaviour, I think I'd find him quite disagreeable."
Yes, that totally isn't suspicious at all, no sir."And this place is magical?"
"It has the same connection to the Dream that Earth has."
Oh no, it's a race of Bizarros, isn't it?"And it's not inhabited?"
"It is… Inhabited, in a manner of speaking, but they're more in the manner of organic automata."
I shudder to imagine in what ways those are inverted."And how many of them are there?"
"About six billion. Humanoid ones. If you include the animal species-."
They might be annoying, sure, but genocide-worthy? As long as none have reality-warping powers of their own..."I'm not doing a genocide, Hinon."
She sighs. "I'm sure that you'd see it my way if you actually visited the place."
That's not what he's asking, and you know it, honey...I pointedly make eye contact, then raise my eyebrows. "Yes?" She nods. "Persuader?"
Persuader looks up from her phone. "I dunno, Grayven. I fight with an axe. Six billion could take a while. Wouldn't it be better to use a virus or something?"
Hopefully she doesn't get into any trouble."Just go there and see if the people are people or not."
She nods, stows her phone and-
"Making it happen. I'm sure it's not that bad." Why do I get the feeling those might be famous last words before disaster?
Easy enough if she sweeps the place at superspeed. And stays well out of reach of any dressed like the Flash because he probably exudes super-slowness auras or something."Master? Should I go as well?"
"Hinon, is that-?" It's a cube planet, of course it's dangerous. "Yes. Observe the pseudopeople, stay out of trouble."
He's really going to have to work on that blind obedience for sure.
Well, besides the obvious association he made (Bizarros? No thanks.) a planet like that was surely built for a reason by someone, and squatters might make them angry if they come to check on it.I sigh, looking down an my midget ally. "Hinon, have I done something to upset you?"
"Worlds that are easily to colonise don't stay uninhabited for long, and magic-rich worlds are rare. Why do you have a problem with cuboids?"
And now he's almost certainly going to get a visit, just by mentioning that name. I'm sure the prankster would like to lighten his mood a little anyway."Because Mxyzptlk will almost certainly come back at some point and I do not want to have to deal with that."
"Whyever not? He never does any lasting harm."
Also, despite how dark some aspects of Equestria can be, that world is kind of frivolous and unserious. Or is he not counting it as part of this universe for his own reasons?"I just don't want to live in a universe that frivolous and unserious."
She folds her arms across her chest. "Then I'm afraid all I can suggest is suicide. He's here whether you interact with him or not."
Sadly, while serious, they're hardly acceptable. A radiation-baked globe ping-ponging around a triple star? A world shrunken to near subatomic levels? (Not that they realise that yet.) And now a possible Bizarro world? More issues than a newsstand."But if I ignore him really hard, then I can pretend until-" I clench my fists. "-I'm in a position to make missiles that fly at right angles to reality." I sigh pointedly, opening my hands. "Do you actually have any serious suggestions?"
"They're all serious suggestions, Grayven. But if you're going to be fussy about it…"
So there'll be lots of folks passing by. I thought the Renegade wanted a relatively private colony.She presses a button, and… Okay, new planet…
"Chemically, it's nearly identical to early Earth. You'll need to do something about the storms, create your own soil and import all manner of plants, animals and microbes. In addition, it's on a major pilgrimage route to the Source Wall so literally everyone will know that someone is colonising it."
So things on the surface are probably quite chaotic. Wild magic may be running riot...I frown. "Pilgrimage route planets don't get left fallow. Even if it's just a layover." I tilt my head back. "Other than needing some work, what's wrong with it?"
"Most species aren't as used to magic as humans are. And there's some evidence of an orbital strike, or… Significant planetary impact, in the recent past. It's not impossible that the planet used to be two planets and actually had an ecosystem but lost it."
And it's usually not that fast to recover. Geological time-frames are long for a reason, after all.My frown deepens. "But it's on a pilgrimage route. Some of those have been active for millions of years. Someone must have seen something."
"This route is only a about three thousand years old, and the Knights of Passage only secured it… Two hundred years ago. Planets take a while to stabilise after something like that."
But how will they feel about folks claiming an uninhabited world on the route. Can the first deployments expect visitors checking things out once it becomes obvious they're staying?"Okay, ah… How about the neighbours?"
"Source worshippers who are well used to the presence of aliens. There's a Knights of Passage naval yard not too far away and you know how they get about people starting fights near pilgrimage routes."
And I suppose having a New God sponsoring the colony will count for a lot with them.The Knights of Passage, the second largest law enforcement organisation in the galaxy. Largest in sheer numbers. Anyone who tries to stop people making pilgrimage to the Source Wall can expect a fleet turning up to politely ask them to knock it off. They maintain order in difficult circumstances around sites that are sacred to a lot of religions, many of which don't like each other. Father… Definitely would pick a fight with them, but it would be a big deal.
I'm sure they won't take too long. Not if it does turn out to be a bizarro world."That's… Good." I nod. "Alright, I'll take a look myself once the girls are back."
"As you will."
The colony can set itself up as a rest spot and service facility, then. Depending on the tech level of the pilgrims, anyway."So why did you put this one last?"
"Because there are so many unknowns, and you would have so much company. The pilgrims will visit."
There's dependency, and then there's being good neighbours. Letting others assist in your defence is perfectly reasonable. As long as boundaries are respected."Right, but… We'll have our own fleet, and the Knights of Passage are right there."
"Do you want to be dependent on aliens? I rather thought that was something your allies were working to avoid."
All right, no obvious injuries. Though they seemed to be in a hurry to get back if a speedster is breathing hard."Not in the long term, but this colony only becomes vital if Earth's been wrecked. And if that happens then we've probably lost all of our fleet assets. I won't like it, but I'll swallow my pride if it means that humans don't go extinct. It-."
Iname appears, carrying Persuader in her arms. They both stand still for a moment, Iname breathing hard as she lowers Persuader to her feet.
...Okay, then...The Persuader slashes through the hush tube aperture with the atomic axe, forcing it to shut down.
"Girls?"
"Master?" Iname shakes her head. "We should not go there."
That may be possible, but I suppose visiting will be necessary to determine that.I consider them carefully, but I can't see any injuries and Persuader's mask covers up her facial expression. I don't know what's wrong… But I can ask when they've calmed down a little.
"Alright, well, don't worry. We've got a better prospect to check out."
Did you miss the part about having to deal with Mr M?I know, right? Grayven's standards are really backwards about this sort of thing. He's willing to date a magical pony princess, but somehow, living on a cube-shaped world is too much for him?
The inhabitants of Bizarro World are all Bizarro-style clones of notable people on Earth.
Thank you, corrected.
Extraneous 'a'?"Yes, it was made by a M-." She frowns. "An extra-dimensional creature."
"When you say 'extra-'?"
"He allegedly exists in five dimensions. I have not checked myself. Based on reports of his behaviour, I think I'd find him quite disagreeable."
Extraneous 'a'"This route is only a about three thousand years old, and the Knights of Passage only secured it… Two hundred years ago. Planets take a while to stabilise after something like that."
Because the text "Hinon, it's a cube." is a hyperlink to the dc fandom wiki page on Htrae, the cube-shaped world that Bizarro created also known as Bizarro World.Y'all keep on saying it's a Bizarro world. My first thought upon hearing a cube shaped world was, "Yay, the crossover is expanding even more! Dc as the starter, Equestria Girls and MLP FIM next and now we are adding in Minecraft! Whoo Oooh!"