I
raise my daiklave as I advance towards where the trembling Changeling Queen lies nursing her shattered right foreleg.
I give it a little swing to test my grip, then raise it up high.
"
Dumb ways to di-ie,
So many dumb ways to die."
Bwahahahahha! So true. So very true. Well, then, that makes this worthwhile.
Canterlot
Now
Luna regards me levelly for a few moments, the head floating in her thaumokinetic grip. Celestia puts her teacup down and stands, regarding me with shock.
Yep, Celestia was not expecting anything like this. I do hope she's not going to object...
A drop of green goo drips from the neck stump.
"You slew her... For me?"
"She was an enemy of the state still at large, and I am acting in your sted at the moment."
And the fact that it helps you press your suit with her plays no part in it, I suppose?
Luna.. blushes very slightly, not meeting my eyes. Celestia spots how she's responding and glares at her. Luna meets her eyes and lifts her head again, clearing her throat.
"We trust that she did not suffer overmuch?"
Sunbutt, she cold-cocked you (and likely Luna, offscreen) and would have used all of Canterlot as her people's
larder had Twilight not suspected something was wrong. She didn't deserve an easy death...
I shake my head. "No. No. I treated the occasion with the solemnity it deserved. There are now a few thousand leaderless Changelings hanging out in a hive in the Badlands. Be careful, though, there's some sort of anti-magic field." I shrug. "Didn't do anything to disrupt my technology, but it would probably make things difficult for you."
Solemnity? You were singing 'Dumb Ways to Die' as you beheaded her.

Nice to see he can still lie his ass off.
Luna nods, drawing herself up slightly.
"We thank you for this token-."
Celestia frowns. "Lu-na!"
Geez, Sunbutt, don't act so shocked. Guys
do things like that these days.
Luna looks at her sister. "Do you know how long it was been since a knight brought Us such a token? A vile monster slain in our name, its head to be-. Pikes, We must find a pike, that Our ponies may know-."
"We're not displaying a severed head!"
Then how do you let people know the threat's gone?
Luna blinks in confusion. "Then how will our citizens know that they are safe under Our aegis?"
Yeah, what she said!
"It's fine, you don't need to display it for my sake." I step closer to Luna. "It's enough for me to know that you like it."
Her horn glows, and the head shimmers for a moment.
"There. We shall mount it upon our mantle as a momento."
A spell to preserve it (and prevent any messy drips?) Good sense.
I lean towards her and she tilts her head up towards me. I've never kissed a horse before, but-.
A golden harness forms around my chest and drags me away, Celestia glaring at me in a pointed manner.
Honestly, Sunbutt, you're acting like she's a filly. She's a big mare, you don't need to give him the shovel speech.
I Will Not Be Restrained!
The harness flickers and then dissolves, Celestia jerking her head back as it vanishes.
Heh, no ignoring
this bit of God-power flexing.
Luna doesn't look impressed. "We do not recall ever acting against your swains in such a manner."
"My 'swains' had not just presented me with a head."
What, they didn't like you enough?
"Did not knights and sorcerers swear to perform mights deeds that they might earn your favour?"
"Yes, but they didn't gift wrap the proof."
Then how do you know they did it? Make a vow, go off for a few days drinking, then come back looking suitably beat-up. I wouldn't be surprised if some tried that.
"Perhaps they lacked the-."
There's a knock at the door. Both princesses look around.
"Come!" / "Enter!"
Hey, who's in charge here, huh?
A guard I don't recognise enters the room slightly nervously.
"Your magesties, Princess Twilight Sparkle asked me to inform you that Sunset Shimmer is ready for her d-."
Ah, the big day is at hand!
He spots the head and visibly double-takes.
"Ah, her demonstration."
Heh. Probably not something he sees every day. Or ever.
Celestia nods. "Where is it taking place?"
"The West Drawing Room, Princess."
"Please inform Twilight that we will be there presently."
No interfering now, Sunbutt. Gotta let the pony run wild.
The guard nods and heads out of the room at a canter. Time to put my hoof down.
"Celestia, do you have an objection to me being romantically involved with Luna?"
"Or are you building up to the old 'Shovel Speech' bit?"
Luna raises her eyebrows, her eyes fixed on her sister.
"I have concerns, but Luna is an adult mare and can make her own decisions."
"Thank you for remembering that, Sister."
Burn. Want some aloe for that one, honey?
"Do you have a problem with me killing Chrysalis?"
"Not in principle, but the caviller way in which you presented Luna with her head concerns me."
It's an Apokaliptian thing. What would
you want him to do with an enemy's head, then?
"I refuse to feel bad about killing people like her, but that's not my usual way of handling conflicts. Chrysalis was not ensourced, deceived, possessed or insane. She was just unnecessarily malevolent and nearly enslaved your species and destroyed the world. And I didn't get her head for you."
"Of all the projects you could have chosen, why is it the military that you decided to help us with?"
That's a good question, Celestia. Let's hope you don't mind the answer.
"Because getting involved in your economics would require me to have massive amounts of information that I don't have, while the flaws of your military were obvious and dangerous to your civilisation. Protecting its citizens is the most basic job of a national government and… While I'm prepared to assume that despite appearances you aren't intentionally undermining it-."
"What do you mean by that?"
Need I repeat my complaints of 'Eye candy troops'? 'Living Armour stands'?
"You didn't tell the guard about Nightmare Moon, Discord or Sombra. You trusted Discord to capture Tirek ahead of any part of the military, and early on Tirek could easily have been killed by crossbows. You didn't pursue Chrysalis or develop changeling detection spells. Magical megaweapons are very nice to have, but given how temperamental they can be relying on them is not wise."
Especially when they have
opinions about their misuse.
"Perhaps more to the point, Luna has led armies and she's at least as good a fighter as anyone in the employ of the Equestrian government. You might have welcomed her back as your equal but you haven't helped her become your equal in fact as well as theory. I will."
"Because you wish to court her."
"No,
that's just because she inspires me. I want the best for her as a person."
"No, because improving political institutions is what I do. See my cutie mark?"
She glances at my haunches.
And a fine set they are. Remember, he's not an unattractive stallion.
"Strength through unity."
"Unity means the parts who know what's going on telling the parts who need to do something about it. And at the moment, your soldiers are…"
...Pathetic? Terrible? Undertrained? So many ways to say 'they suck'.
Dammit, how does Music Meister keep getting in here?!
"Everyone is
Weak and wary
All is scary
Tell me, where is
Sanctu'ry?"
Oooh, nice...
An image of the guards who panicked at the sight of me, another of the guards being gooped by changelings, blasted aside by Nightmare Moon, drained by Tirek…
Honestly, they really need help...
"Tire the strong
Shield the frail
A strategy
Doomed to fail"
Celestia getting blasted by Chrysalis, Cadance collapsing in exhaustion from the strain of shielding the Crystal City by herself.
Yep, a lot of trouble, often left to decline because Sunbutt won't do something to help... Or simply
can't.
"I love to change the world"
I head out of the room, light leaping from my yellow ring, transmuting the guards' armour into something a little more sensible.
And he's just getting started...
"And I know just what to do"
I glance back at the princesses as they follow me.
I can just imagine the smile on Luna's face...
"And I wonder: do you too?"
West Drawing Room is this way.
Wouldn't do to get lost during your big song.
"All your people
Keep on needing
Never heeding
Leaders bleeding
Truculence"
Nice tempo...
An image of Celestia, Luna and Cadance lying on the floor of the throne room with Tirek standing over them.
Honestly, a lot of Celestia's plans seem to be 'Hope for the best'...
"Life is easy
Skies are breezy
Learn to struggle?
Who needs trouble?"
And there's the current state of Equestrian politics: none at all, for the most part. Local mayors, sure. Anything bigger, they just leave it to Celestia. Not a good way to manage a country...
I glare as some civil servant ponies who throw themselves out of our way[/color].
"Indolence."
Heh. Unlucky blokes...
I stop and turn around to face them.
"I love to change the world
And I know just what to do
And I wonder: do you too?"
This is very much Grayven's song, all right...
I walk up to Luna and this time Celestia doesn't restrain me.
"Luna"
"Diminution
Is no solution
Revolution
Restitution
What's wrong and right?
What's strength for?"
Something Luna's been asking herself recently, I'll bet...
I look at the two of them
"Princesses
Win your war"
Challenging them to be better? Nice.
I turn away and continue towards the West Drawing Room, where Sunset will ushur in a new era, whether Equestria's ready or not. Especially whether the princesses are ready or not.
I wonder how Celestia will feel about being obsolete?
"She loves to change the world
Sunset knows just what to do
Why don't you join us too?"
And soon, we'll get to see the fruition of her storyline...