OverMaster's Little Crummy Corner of Sub-Par Writing

[OverMaster]

"Shirogane-sama is really beautiful, isn't she?" Kirino asked, with small stars in her eyes.

They were behind the stage now, waiting for their turns. Negi, Kyosuke, Saori, Kirino and Matoi had been allowed to stay there as the assistants of the three cosplayers, and because Saori had money to slip discreetly. They watched the bespectacled, light-blue haired, and frankly pretty cosplay superstar smiling and waving at the audience from her spot at the top of the jury. Around her, there were four other jury members, who were generic enough that you are advised to imagine them as faceless NPCs.

Chisame bit on her thumb, also looking at Shirogane from afar. Negi and Kyosuke were just doing small talk, while Natsumi fanned herself bravely trying to endure through the heat. Damn, she is actually pretty without the need for Photoshock! Chisame thought. No wonder they call her the Ultimate Cosplayer...

"Our first contestant! Kitagawa Marin from CLAMP Gakuen, dressed as Shizuku from Slippery Girls 2!"

Hot damn! Chisame bit harder on the thumb, almost making it bleed. Her eyes widened at the sight of a gorgeous girl in lascivious black making her way into the scene confidently and waving happily at the crowd. Talk about starting with the wrong foot! How can I compete with that?!

"Wooooa! Whoooaaaa!" Kirino pumped a fist up and down, blowing steam off her nose. "You already lost, Kuroneko! Just look at that fine piece of-!"

"There's a child present, you philistine!" Kuroneko scoffed, backhanding Kirino's mouth close casually. "Domain of the scene is based on more than mere physical appeal! I have vanquished better looking foes before!"

This midget is too confident, but then again, she's won several contests, so she must know what she's saying, Chisame reflected, shifting over to bite on a pointer finger. Natsumi and Negi had started looking at her with concern. Small flat types always have an audience too, after all! Aaarrrghhh, why did I get a turn so late?! I'm going to look worse the more people come before me!

"Next, Kinomoto Sakura-chan from Mahora!" the announcer said while Marin left the scene, bathed by thunderous applause and cheers. A lovely little girl in Card Captor cosplay entered the stage, smiling nervously and holding a long staff in her hands. "As you can see, she has modeled her appearance after the mysterious Card Captor Magical Girl protecting our city!"

"UUUUOOOOHHH! UOOOOHHHHHH!" several creepy young and old men in the audience chanted.

"SAKURA-CHAN, YOU ALREADY WOOOOON!" shouted a little black haired girl in the front rows of the audience, pumping her fist up while, around her, a few tall women in black suits raised signs reading APPLAUSE OR ELSE for the audience's benefit. Predictably, applauses abounded.

"Rrrghhhh!" Chisame said, pulling a handkerchief out and starting to pull on it with her teeth. Kyosuke joined Natsumi and Negi's silent chorus of worried looks. I, I am too outclassed! I'm five years too old to match this kawaii overload! She looks better than Honya at being Honya!

"Our third charming contestant is Hoshakuji Renge from Ohtori!" the announcer said. Sakura was leaving the scene, laughing nervously as Tomoyo threw kisses her way, and a rather cute blonde in an aristocratic white dress strode in with a poise to match Iinchou's. That's it! Chisame decided. I can't do this, I can't! I'll feign fainting, surely not even the trained actress will notice-

"Ah ha ha ha, we've got some rough competition, don't we, guys?" asked a familiar voice. They turned around and blinked, seeing two girls, one dressed as Sailor V and the other as one of her sidekicks, standing there, also waiting for their turns.

Except because Negi and Chisame knew better. These WERE Sailor Venus and Sailor Mars.

"What, what are you doing here?!" Chisame screamed. "Are you insane?!"

Natsumi blinked. "Chisame? Do you know these people?"

"Oh, we've met occasionally!" Sailor Venus grinned, slapping the shoulder of a groaning Sailor Mars. "I'm Mina Carol from England," she said, keeping a very passable English accent, "and this is my little friend, Chiyo Huit! We studied under Negi-kun back in the Isles, and now we study in, huh, CLAMP!"

"Seriously?" Saori blinked behind the thick glasses. "We're from CLAMP, and I've never seen you in any of our local events..."

"Ah ha ha ha ha, we usually keep out of contests, but we decided to give it a try this time!" said who very obviously, to anyone in the know for both of her appearances, was Aino Minako, faking a careless laugh. "Of course, we had to choose our favorite heroines, the wonderful Sailor V and her loyal sidekick Sailor Mars!"

"I thought Sailor Mars was the tall one with black hair?" Kyosuke said blandly. "Um, sorry, I'm Kosaka Kyosuke, this is my sister Kirino, and these are-"

"Woooww, really high production values for these costumes!" Kirino gushed, pushing him aside and tugging on the edge of Minako's skirt. "You two really nailed the look! You might even have a shot at beating that Kitagawa girl!"

"A chance? We have this in the bag!" Minako said proudly. "But thanks for the praise! It took us a lot of time and effort to get the costumes just right, but knowing that it'll pay off makes all the sweat worthwhile..."

Negi frowned, not amused at all. "Carol-san... I take it you didn't bring your other friend here? The one who could play a convincing Sailor Mercury...?"

"God, no," Shiho groaned bitterly. "She would kill us if she knew we're here."

"Of course she would," Negi said sternly. "Can we please discuss this aside for a moment, please? It's about how... you know that your family would disapprove of this, as well," he added, narrowing his eyes at the duo. "Why, I'm sure even your housecat would be mad at you..."

"Ah ha ha ha, Sensei, as if the cat had any saying on- Hey!" Minako gasped as Negi grabbed her by a wrist and began pulling her away. Shiho sighed and followed them. "Okay, but make it quick! Our turn's almost on! Why, you never were this forceful before, Negi-kun!"

Chisame breathed in and out. Then she started going after them. "Tsunetsuki, keep on looking at Murakami!"

"Yes! Chisame-sama, as you wish!" the stalker nodded, and then went back to staring at Natsumi. Jiiiiiiiiiiiiiii!

Natsumi flinched. "Why me?!"

Kuroneko blinked. "Now what was that about?"

Kirino shrugged. "He's probably just worried that some supervillain with revenge in mind will crash the event, thinking that's the real Sailor V. Those things happen!"

"I really think we should leave," Kyosuke opined. "We can always watch the rest of the contest online..."

"NO!" Kuroneko and Kirino said as one.

 

[OverMaster]

OverMaster Writes for Every Franchise in Existence.

---

Predator.

Beaten and apparently dying, the creature held an arm up and began pressing buttons on its gauntlet.

Dutch watched cautiously.

The gauntlet began beeping, as a small screen on it began displaying blinking, glowing symbols.

Dutch frowned, curious.

Then the symbols kept on diminishing in number, quickly.

"Ha ha ha ha ha," the alien began laughing, its laugh cold and humorless.

Dutch's eyes widened.

"HA HA HA HA HA HA!" the Predator laughed.

A countdown! Dutch realized, turning around and starting to run through the jungle.

"HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!" the Predator kept on laughing while the alien numbers kept on growing fewer...

And then the gauntlet fell silent.

The Predator looked at it. "Rrrrrrrr?"

It began shaking its arm. The thing still wouldn't function. Angry, the Predator started to slam its fist on it.

Dutch looked up from his hiding spot.

"RRRRRRR!" the Predator roared, smashing the gauntlet against a tree until it broke down. "Rrrrrr! Rrrrrrrr!"

Dutch approached it warily.

The Predator looked up at him from its fallen position, and shrugged its massive shoulders. "Rrrrrrrrr!"

---

"-- and dat's how he became my roommate," Dutch told his date as they walked out the apartment. "Don't worry about him, let's just enjoy da night."

"Ahhhhh. Sure thing," the woman said, and then they walked away.

Flung on Dutch's couch watching TV, its midsection still heavily bandaged, the Predator growled sadly. "Nowhere to go..."

 

[OverMaster]

Falling to Pieces.

"How does your Pieces system work anyway?" Negi asked as Ala Alba sat down to eat with the Occult Club. "I've been meaning to ask but I've never found a chance to do so."

"Oh, it's simple enough," Rias said. "Let's say that I took over your team and made all of you my pieces. I'd be the King then..."

Makie blinked. "Are you actually a boy?"

"No, no!" Rias said. "The King is the top piece of the peerage, and without it, the peerage would fall apart."

"You mean that we'd literally crumble if you died? Like, into dust?" Makie asked.

"No!" Rias said, a wee bit less in a good mood. "It's just that the contracts binding you to my peerage would disappear! Then you'd need contracting another devil or you'd just become ronin devils. In this example, Evangeline-sama would become my Queen..."

"Thanks but no thanks," Eva said very dryly. "You aren't exactly what I'm looking for in a husband."

"You know well what I'm saying!" Rias said. "The Queen is the most powerful piece in the board, and also the most versatile. You only can have one Queen, but you can have two Rooks. Let's see, in this case Haruka-chan and Asuna-chan would be my rooks. Strong frontline attackers, but not the fastest of the bunch, and also not the most strategically inclined for the most part."

"I'm pretty fast!" Asuna protested. "I can almost beat Misora in a foot race!"

"... so you're admitting not having any strategic capacity at all?" Ayaka asked.

"I also could enlist two Bishops," Rias continued. "Bishops tend to be spellcasters and healers, using, developing and absorbing spells to advance the cause of the peerage. Konoka-chan and Negi-kun would make remarkable Bishops, I think."

"And then there are Knights, right?" Ayaka asked.

"That's correct. You could be a fine Knight, as they are meant to be fast attackers and saboteurs, but they are somewhat lacking in defense and endurance," Rias explained. "Misora-chan would also be a fitting Knight."

"Hah!" Asuna told Ayaka. "You can't defend yourself!"

"Would you like to see how easily I can topple a rook?!" Ayaka growled.

"Lastly, we have pawns, who fall short in the capacities the other pieces excel at, but still can become Knights, Rooks, Bishops or even Queens upon reaching enemy territory, much like a pawn in actual chess can be traded by another piece upon reaching the end of the board. In this analogy, Makie-chan, Skuld-chan, Morisato-kun, Misa-chan, Madoka-chan, Sakurako-chan, Rito-kun and Cocone-chan would be pawns."

"What about the rest of us?" Haruna asked.

"My dear girl, I think you haven't caught yet on how this anology has been, the whole time, about pieces I would like having," Rias said graciously. "No offense, Chachamaru-chan, Lala-hime-sama, but I'm not good with technology and I wouldn't dream of using a fellow princess as a subordinate. My apologies to both."

"What about apologies to the rest of us?!" Itoshiki gasped.

"I can understand. The demon bird tribe and the Shinmeiryuu haven't ever been in the best of terms with devils," Setsuna blandly.

"I'm not blaming anyone who wouldn't want to have me in her team!" Ai whimpered. "I'm sorry for being a nuisance!"

"I wouldn't be in any peerage that wouldn't have Setchan," Konoka huffed. Then she smiled at Issei. "How about you, Senpai? Who would you recruit for your peerage?"

Issei rubbed his chin. "Let's see, there are so many wonderful options, but I think I'd start with Naba-san, Haruka-chan, Nagase-san, Tatsumiya-san, Asakura-san, Haruna-san and Shizuna-sensei..."

"Wow, that's a completely unexpected answer," Misora deadpanned, right before the sketch stopped without a proper punchline.

 

[OverMaster]

Once upon a time, I don't need to tell you where, there lived five maids in a very big mansion. Their names were Mei, Roberta, Fabiola, Siesta and Taeko. But their masters called them Meiderella, Robertella, Fabiella, Siestella and Taekella, because their masters were weird freaks.

One enchanted evening, the masters of the house went to the ball of Prince Lelouch, leaving their maids at home. Their fairy godmother appeared.

"Hello! I'm Najimi, your fairy godfather!" she chirped and winked.

"But... you are a girl," Siestella said.

"Or am I? DUN DUN DUUUN!" the fairy godmother (?) said. "I have an offer you can't refuse!"

She waved her wand (not that one!) and gave them gorgeous dresses and a magical chariot pulled by six magical ponies from Mundus Magicus to attend the ball. "But remember!" she warned. "The spell fizzles at midnight so you need being back at home by then!"

"Why so early?!" the disappointed Fabiella asked.

"Gimme a break, there's five of you and I had to split the magic between you!" Fairy Najimi said. "If there'd been a single Cinderella, the spell would have lasted all night long!"

"Somehow I doubt that," Robertella said.

But they all went to the ball regardless. Taekella danced with Secretary Hanabishi and fell in love with him. Robertella and Fabiella danced with young duke Garcia and fell in love with him, those dirty pedos. Siestella danced with Minister Saito and fell in love with him. And Meiderella danced with Prince Lelouch himself, under the pale moonlight entering through the large windows. Everyone in the nobility watched on, enraptured by the beauty of their dance. And behind the curtains, the Prince's own maid, Sayokella, watched on as well, in silence.

Meiderella, at the climax of the dance, finally opened her large and fascinating beautiful eyes, staring deep into the Prince's...

"I'm leaving," she told her sisters while walking out.

"Eh?!" Taekella whined. "Why's that?! Is it midnight already?!"

"No, but I didn't feel the spark of love when I looked into his eyes," Meiderella said. "Instead, I saw something evil..."

Their chariot exploded in a car bombing midway to home, from what I hear. Who could have done something so horrible, Prince Lelouch wondered in horror?

"Who could possibly know...?" Sayokella said innocently while Princess Nunally gave her a silent thumbs up from the other end of the room.

The masters of the house bought two new maids, Sella and Leysritt, from Mr. Acht's store. They renamed Sella Sella-ella.

---

To be continued, from what I hear.

 

[OverMaster]

Ayasaki Hayate smiled, holding a large wooden box with several tiny holes on it in his hands. He bowed.

"Springfield-sensei, Kagurazaka-san, Hasegawa-san, Nagase-san," the blue haired young man said. "Pleased to meet you again. You too, of course... Tsunetsuki-san, wasn't it?"

"Ah!" Matoi gasped from behind Chisame. "You saw I was here?"

"Yes, always," Hayate nodded. "Once more, Eishun-sama offers his deepest thanks to all of you."

Negi Springfield smiled back. "Nice to see you too, Hayate-san. Please give our best regards to the elder."

"Konoka sends him this," Asuna said, handing Hayate a big white bag. "Baked goodies for him."

"And for Kouko-sama as well, of course," Hayate said, accepting the bag and hanging it around his left shoulder, while keeping the box well tucked under his right arm. "As expected from Konoka Ojou-chan!"

"For her... Sure thing! Let's go with that," Asuna said.

"Is that it, Hayate-dono?" Kaede asked, pointing at the box.

"Yes," he said, his expression turning grim. Slowly, he put the box in Negi's expecting, small hands. It wasn't heavy at all, but the red haired boy felt something moving inside. "Please be extremely careful. Eishun-sama said that he thinks Setsuna-sama should keep an eye on her at all times."

They stood under a huge tree right outside the Konoe villa, away from curious eyes, on a little hill overlooking the prairies around Kyoto. Asuna loved this place. It was a pity that they couldn't stay there any long.

Negi sighed. "I'm sure that she will. She doesn't need to be told."

The five of them began walking back towards the train station, under a bright sun and a blue sky. Konoemon-sensei had been adamant Konoka couldn't visit Kyoto again so soon after the whole kidnapping fiasco, but he'd insisted for Negi to take Asuna, as her antimagic was invaluable in danger situations, and Nagase, since sending school enforcers like Setsuna or Mana might trigger signs among any spies still watching over the situation from the shadows. Chisame had tagged along because... nobody was too sure, least of all Chisame, but probably had something to do with not trusting Negi enough or something. Bakas Blue and Red had simply smiled and nodded at each other over that.

"She's damn quiet," Chisame said at one point of the long march through the thin field pathway, just to break a silence that was turning unbearable. "Didn't she use to talk and talk when she was human?"

"Can she even talk anymore?" Asuna asked.

"Even so, I expected her to be screaming and shrieking," Chisame answered. "What if she found a way to switch herself with a normal critter?"

Negi raised the box in his hands to his eye level. He squinted through one of the small holes and frowned. "That's her alright."

"How are you so sure?" Kaede asked.

"That hand gesture she is making at me is not something a pure hearted animal would do," Negi said coolly, pulling the box back down. "Not even if trained. Those eyes..."

"Oh, so she has hands!" Asuna said. "I thought they'd turn her into a snake or something like that. Let me see?"

Negi held the box up and let her take a look through another hole.

"Bff bwa ha ha ha ha!" Asuna chortled, slapping herself on a knee. "Beautiful! Eishun-sama is a poet!"

"I hate all of you so much..." came a small, bland voice from inside the box.

"Ah, so you can talk after all," Matoi said. "Funny, your voice hasn't changed that much from what I recall."

"Which one are you?" asked the one in the box. "The ugly psycho stalker, right?"

"There's a river over there," Matoi suggested, pointing aside into the distance. "We can always throw the box there and say we were robbed along the way..."

"Tsunetsuki-dono, no," Kaede said.

The train trip was surprisingly quiet and uneventful.

 

[OverMaster]

Seduction of the Innocent.

The boy was still wet and toweling dry from the shower, clad only in black pants, when Tosaka approached him.

"Hey, kid, you were great back there," the older man said.

Kotaro grinned. "Am I not always?"

"You should stay here after you're done with the tournament," Tosaka proposed. "You clearly love it here. You can work the crowds, and they love you. And I hate to admit it, but you're good. I can mold you into something great, if you'll let me."

Kotaro blinked. "Why aren't you telling Negi this? Or you already did?"

Tosaka waved a hand. "Forget 'im! He's not like you and me. His heart's not into it. He doesn't have the passion, and he'll leave us as soon as he can. Whaddya say? Aren't you interested?"

Kotaro frowned. "I dunno… I'll admit I love this, but I promised Nodoka-neechan we'd go home together…"

"Home? This is your home!" the man said. "Are you gonna throw your life's dreams and talents away for a first love? She'll tire of you and leave you, boy. They always do."

"She… She's not my love…!"

Tosaka advanced towards him, grinning. "All the more reason then. You know you want to do this, Kotaro. Let me be your—"

They looked aside, blinking wildly, as they heard a loud gasp coming from the open door. They saw Misa standing there, bewildered and blushing, having just dropped several trays while passing by.

---

Yue blinked. This was the last thing she'd expected hearing during visit hours, although in hindsight… "Tosaka-san did what?" she asked, just to be sure.

"I told you, you've gotta warn Honya!" Misa said, grabbing her by the arms. "He's seducing Kotaro-kun! This is no joke…!"

 

[OverMaster]

Give me Freedom.

"Well, Misa," Yue said as Negi took the collar off the purple haired girl's neck. "I hope this has taught you a few valuable lessons about hard work and treating those in need well."

"Oh, yes, Yuecchi!" Misa said while hugging Negi. "That was horrible! I wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy! From now on, I'll keep those long, hard days in mind when I look at anyone below my station, and I'll remember how lucky I am to have such great—"

"Negi, good news," Chisame walked in, holding a full bag up. "The tournament's purse was so big that, even after buying Kakizaki and Kugimiya, we still have over half the money left!"

Misa blinked, and then looked at Negi's face. "What if we buy two slaves now?" she suggested.

 

[OverMaster]

The 100 Girlfriends Who Really, Really, Really, Really, Really Love Negi Springfield.

---

Japan, several days later:

"Are you sure you really have no idea why they called us over so early!?" Hasegawa Chisame asked, trying to make herself heard over the roar of the motor.

"I told you that I don't!" the quite shorter black haired girl piloting the scouter said, large goggles protecting her round, dark brown eyes. "They wouldn't have summoned you as well if this had anything to do with any recent incident in the laboratories!"

"What if you brought something to our apartment?!" the bespectacled, ponytailed girl with light brown hair said, clutching onto Hakase Satomi's slim waist for dear life. "You might have infected me with something!"

"I highly doubt that," Hakase said, rolling her eyes back. "The protocol for such procedures is sending a biohazard team to the target's place of residence and arresting them, not issuing a summon to the Headmaster's office. We would be risking spreading the agent through the campus, all the way to the top of our academic hierarchy!"

"Eyes on the road!" Chisame screamed, frantically pointing ahead. "Eyes on the road, you idiot! We're gonna run someone over...!"

"Ah...? Oh, for the love of Curie!" Satomi gasped, and her vehicle took a sudden turn aside, getting off the road and coming to a rough halt right before it could hit a wall. Chisame let out a cry of anguish, dropping onto her butt on the sidewalk. "Is everyone fine? It never was my intention to hit you, sir, ma'ams!"

Chisame, still trembling in fright, turned her head towards the people they had almost hit. It was a group of three, and one of them, a short boy in a dark green suit, had also fallen on his ass in the middle of the street. He didn't look hurt, thankfully, and a small red haired girl was helping him up already.

The only one of them who looked actually distraught was a young blonde woman, a few years older than Hasegawa and Hakase, who was on her hands and knees and roaming all over the street frantically, looking in all directions. "Oh my God, oh my God, your glasses, Negi, your glasses!" she was panicking. "You cannot be without your glasses...!"

Chisame didn't understand anything of what she was saying since she was talking in English with a very thick accent. Chisame knew a fair amount of written English from years of Internet experience, communicating with people and shitposters from all through the world, but spoken English still eluded her, for the most part. Satomi, on the other hand, was well versed on written and verbal English alike, not that this helped her to be any less perplexed than Chisame.

"Nekane, I told you, I really don't need them, you don't need to react like that!" the boy said in the same accented English, dusting himself off while the little girl fixed his tie. Then he looked at Satomi and Chisame. "We are well, thanks for asking," he said in flawless Japanese, although the accent was still there. "Sorry, we doubled a corner without paying a lot of attention, I'm afraid. Are you two... You two..." he babbled off, his mouth hanging open a bit as his eyes met Chisame's.

Chisame's own orbs widened, and a strange tightness came to her chest. For a reason or another, that kid's eyes had struck her as something very, oddly, beautiful, so full of purity and innocence. Then, just as quickly, a back wave of fear at this notion struck her, as that was such an Iinchou thing to be thinking of. "Ah!" she gulped. "Ah! We aren't hurt either, thanks for asking! Have you lost your way? Elementary school is at the other end of the campus!"

"Elementary?" the little girl lifted an eyebrow, letting go of the boy's tie and frowning at Chisame. "I'll let you know, Miss, that we are both teachers, and we'll be working in this academy starting today! I am Anya Yurievna Cocolova, and this is Negi Springfield! My boyfriend!"

"My... Your... What?" Hakase gasped, as if just waking up from a spell of her own.

"Ah!" the blonde smiled, grabbing a pair of dark glasses from the street and lifting them. "Negi, I just found your glasses! Put them back on, now, before- Ahhh, feathers," she said weakly, looking at Chisame and Satomi, and the way they had just started trading long, silent looks eye-to-eye with her cousin again.

Anya huffed, and tapped a foot down several times. "Like I was saying!" she shouted, once again snapping Hakase and Hasegawa out of this unexplainable daze. "This is Negi's sister, our dear Nekane! She's our legal tutor! Now, can either of you point us towards the office of Konoe Konoemon?"

"The Headmaster?" Chisame asked, immediately chastising herself for asking such a stupid question. What was wrong with her today?

"Yes, quite obviously! We have business with him, as expected from any teachers starting to work for an academic head!" Anya said imperiously while Nekane, meekly, handed Negi the sunglasses and he put them back on without a word of protest. "You are Mahora students, aren't you? Otherwise, what would you even be doing here?"

"We have just been summoned to the Headmaster's office ourselves," Satomi said candidly. "Since we do, indeed, know the way, we could lead you there..."

"We would like that very much. Thanks a lot..." Negi smiled dreamily, unable to take his eyes off Satomi's face. For some cause, Hakase's cheeks flared a faint shade of pink, something Chisame had never seen them doing before.

Anya frowned, and then slapped Negi in the back of the head. "Are you sure you didn't hit your head there? Maybe we should take you to the doctor's office first!"

"If... If that happened, you aren't doing him any favors doing that to him..." Nekane said mechanically, looking back and forth, with horror, at the faces of Negi, Chisame and Satomi. Oh my goodness, this curse can chase him across the ocean after all...! she thought.

 

[OverMaster]

Hold Me.

Yue gulped softly as she approached the door of the small library in the rented manor. She really didn't want to do this. But it couldn't be stalled any longer.

Nodoka deserved much better than her cowardice.

Yue rapped her small knuckles tenderly on the white wood door.

"Please get in," said the meek voice from the inside.

Yue gulped as she entered. "Nodoka," she told the figure who sat at the table, reading a book and facing away from her. "There's… There's something I need to tell you. I… It's about Kotaro-kun. Misa said that… How should I put this…"

"If it's about how he's considering staying here to pursue a gladiatorial career, he… he's already told me about it, Yue-Yue," Nodoka said tightly, still not looking at her. "Thank you, but… I really didn't need to be told."

"Oh… Oh," Yue said, looking down. She seemed to be taking it remarkably better than Yue had been expecting. But then again, she'd grown so much stronger over the last year. Some of Illya had probably rubbed on her, too. "Well, then… Maybe you need to be left alone, but if you need me, I'll be in our room…"

"Yue-Yue," Nodoka said. "There's something else I need, though."

She spun the chair around, threw herself onto Yue, and clung onto her tightly, without rising from her sitting position. She pressed her face against Yue's chest and began weeping in silence.

After a moment of silence, Yue hugged her loosely, giving her just enough room, and held her there.

Happy passed by the open door, took a peek inside, and then closed the door before walking away.

 

[OverMaster]

The Hour of Truth!

"You'll wonder why I've summoned you here today," said Da Vinci, sitting behind a desk that was too large for her, since it was inherited from the previous Da Vinci. Holmes stood grimly by her side, arms folded behind his back.

"Why shouldn't we?" Kiyohime frowned, sitting at the other side of the desk along Ritsuka, Mash, Bradamante, Serenity and Astolfo. "Go to the point, Sensei. Anchin-sama and I were on a date!"

Da Vinci sighed. "This weekend, Cleopatra was complaining about a strange recurring nausea and dizziness. Nightingale and I examined her and learned that… she is pregnant."

Astolfo tensed up on his chair, from his previous careless position kicking his feet around.

"What?!" Ritsuka screamed. Next to the red-haired female Master, Mash gasped.

"Oh my," Kiyohime said, hiding her mouth under a sleeve. "Are you serious, Sensei?"

"Completely," Da Vinci nodded.

"But Servants can't have children!" Ritsuka said.

"It would seem that, through the Lostbelts, reality has shifted several paradigms that somehow have altered a few basic parameters of the female Servants, making them—well, us, although naturally I'm not of the age for it—able to undergo pregnancy."

Astolfo began sweating bullets, subtly clacking his teeth together.

Kiyohime's eyes shone. "So now I can bear Anchin-sama's children?!"

"No! Because I'm a girl!" Ritsuka said.

"Nothing that a good consultation to Scathach-sama cannot remedy, Anchin-sama!" the Berserker enthused.

"Aaaarrrrgh!" Ritsuka said while Mash rolled her eyes.

Da Vinci rasped. "Well, yes, about that…"

"What is the problem anyway?" Serenity asked. "Miss Cleopatra surely is pregnant with Caesar's child, and Medb may be expecting for Fergus' child, but other than that, what does that have to do with us?"

Da Vinci closed her eyes. "Most female Servants are pregnant, from the scan tests we've ran on everyone ever since. The lot of you, me, Nightingale, and the child Servants are the only ones who are not."

Astolfo sank into his chair without being noticed.

"Whaaaat?!" Ritsuka said. "How did that even--!"

Then the office's door exploded from outside, and in stormed a furious Caesar, Moriarty, Kojiro, Jason, Achilles, EMIYA, Fionn, Cu Chulainn and Odysseus. "YOU!" they collectively roared at Astolfo.

"AAAAHHHHH!" Astolfo screamed, and then jumped out through the window. The other male Servants instantly jumped out after him, weapons at the ready.

"…!" Ritsuka, Kiyohime, Serenity and Mash said.

"Well," Bradamante said after a moment. "It's not that strange when you consider his legend."

"Mash, Kiyohime, you are to help Nightingale in maternity duty," Da Vinci said with resignation. "Serenity, you are to keep far, far away from the maternity wing at all times. That is the motive of this briefing."

"What about me?" Bradamante asked.

"Ah," Da Vinci said. "I called you over because you are the next of kin of the soon to be deceased…"

 

[OverMaster]

From Hero to Zero.

She arrived one afternoon, grinning under a concealing cloak.

"Hey there, dolls," the mysterious stranger said, stopping before them while Madoka was mopping the floor and Misa pretended to be wiping a window clean. "I thought I'd seen you in the market. Now I see I was right..."

"Who the heck are you?" Misa asked.

The stranger chuckled and pulled the cloak back, revealing a grinning head topped by short, very light brown hair.

"Ah! Misocchi!" Misa said.

"Whoa, that disguise's much better than the Mysterious Sister one!" Madoka said. "You should have used this one from the start!"

"I don't know any Mysterious Sister, what are you talking about?!" Kasuga Misora growled. She reached into her robes and pulled a purse out. "Anyway, I've made some money doing odd jobs while traveling, so I'll buy you guys out so we can be on our way. Here, this'll be enough, right?" she said, placing several silver coins in the hands of Tosaka.

"Misocchi, you're the best!" Misa gushed. "I'll never doubt you again! You're my heroine...!"

The former gladiator counted the coins. "This will be enough for one only."

"I see, what a pity," Misora said. "Let's go, Kugimin, and good luck with your new life, Misa..."

"Kasugaaaaa!" Misa complained.

"What a pain!" Misora said. "What else do you wanna me to do? You're just too expensive for some reason!"

"There's a way you can double your money and buy them both," Tosaka proposed.

"And that is...?" Misora asked.

"Bets," Tosaka said, pulling a set of dice from his jacket's breast pocket. "Are you lucky, kid?"

"Am I...!" Misora snickered. "Okay, pops, by the time I'm done plucking you, maybe you'll be my butler, too!"

---

"Hello, Yue," Misa said blandly during the next visit. "We've good and bad news. The good news is, we found Misocchi."

Yue blinked. "Misora-san? Oh, that's good indeed. Sensei will be so happy. And the bad news is...?"

Misora walked by, with a shock collar around her neck, wearing a maid uniform, and holding a huge basket of dirty laundry in her arms. "The bad news is that the rules of dice are very different in this place! Never get in a game of chance here, and I mean it!"

 

[OverMaster]

Once upon a time, you-know-where, there lived four immortal princesses in the bottom of the sea, Yakuhime, Yukihime, Washuhime and Minahime. Yakuhime might be related to Little Red Riding Kusuri, but she would deny it if you asked her.

"I'm not actually immortal, just very long lived," Yakuhime cautioned.

"Did they have to name me like that for this thing?" Yukihime complained. "I'm not going to marry Touta again, am I?!"

One day, Yakuhime turned into a turtle and traveled to the coast, to see the human world. There, she was saved by a man named Urashima Keitaro, who rescued her from the same brats who were hitting Luna in the first episode of Sailor Moon. Man, those kids are sick in the head. The next day, Washuhime appeared to Urashima in the form of a giant crab, and invited him to their undersea castle as thanks.

Yakuhime's peculiar combination of youth and age fascinated Urashima Keitaro.

"Let us dance as the Tai and the Flounder, yes yes," she invited him.

Keitaro stayed with the princesses for three days, but he got nostalgic and asked to be sent back home, with his girlfriend who would hit him, his other girlfriend who would hit him with a sword, his other girlfriend who swindled him, and his other girlfriend who sicced robots on him. "Very well," Washuhime said as she handed him a box. "Take this with you, but never open it. If you do, you will regret it."

Urashima Keitaro was flung back to the surface, only to see that 12,000 years had passed, all of the good Akamatsu characters had passed away, and now only the Numbers of UQ Holder remained. Angsting about it, he opened the box and he was immediately turned into a bent, gray old man.

"Baka!" said Washuhime's recorded voice from the box. "I told you not to open it! All of your years were here..."

Urashima Keitaro then spent the rest of his life trying to get the immortal sisters cancelled on Twitter, from what I hear.

"Twitter? What is that?" Yakuhime wondered aloud.

"Well, at least they didn't try to kill us, unlike they did to everyone else," Yukihime said.

"I didn't get anything to do!" Minahime complained. "Why didn't they put me in Little Red Riding Kusuri? I just love big sexy wolves!"

---

To be Continued, from what I hear.

 

[OverMaster]

Everyday Routines.

Chisame slammed a hand on the table. "It's always the same thing!" she said. "Whenever I say anything, you do or say the exact opposite! It's like you do it only to undermine me!"

"No, I never do that, and I'd never dream of undermining you!" Negi protested.

"See? You're doing it again!"

"No, I'm not! I'm only defending myself!"

"No, after all I've done for you, you keep going against me just because!"

"No, I don't!"

"Yes, you do!"

"I don't!"

"You do!"

"Well, fine, maybe I do! Sometimes!" He tossed his hands up.

Chisame made an irritated noise. She chewed on her lower lip. "And that's another thing I can't stand! Those little mental games of yours…!"

 

[OverMaster]

Loud in Translation.

"Hey, Linc," Clyde greeted him, closing the door after him. "Why the long face?"

Lincoln sighed. "It's my sisters again, man! They found a new way to bother me!"

"What is it?" the other boy said.

"Now, whenever I sit down to watch Dragon Ball Super, they switch to another anime! And it's a really crappy one too! It's a weird thing about some guy in love with his sister, and they all sit around me, forcing me to watch it with them!"

"Uhhhhh…" Clyde said.

"Lana and Lola sit really tight at either side of me, and Lucy sits on my lap so I can't get away!" Lincoln despaired. "Leni puts herself behind me putting her chest on top of my head as if that were so funny, and Luan and Lynn keep on giggling and whispering to each other whenever those two idiots kiss in the show! Even Lori's hypnotized by that lame thing, she turns the phone off and everything while it's on! Luna plays the theme song all the time and hums it to me all through every dinner!"

He looked at Clyde in the eye. "Why do you think they torture me so? What's the point?"

Clyde stared at him in silence for several moments, and then slapped him across the face.

 

[OverMaster]

Once upon a time, in a far, far away land, there lived an old spinster named Kobayashi.

"I'm not that old," Kobayashi said.

One night, while stumbling back home drunk from an office party, Kobayashi missed the road that would lead her to a dragon and instead ran into the same fucking kids who bullied Yakuhime, now picking on a crane. Kobayashi beat the kids down with a stick and saved the crane, who flew away.

Two nights after, a beautiful girl with black bangs falling all over her face appeared at Kobayashi's house.

"My name is Omeme, and I will be your wife," she shyly said.

"Okay..." Kobayashi said, not quite sure what to make out of it.

"I will sew a kimono for you, as my thanks for saving me," Omeme said. "But you must promise that no matter what, you will never try to look at my face."

Kobayashi shrugged. "Fine with me..."

Three days and nights straight, Omeme sat at her workshop, sewing the most gorgeous kimono for Kobayashi. But during that time, Kobayashi grew obsessed with the enigmatic mystery of Omeme's face. She wanted to see her eyes, so she approached Omeme from behind and, breaking her promise, brushed the girl's bangs aside, to look at her uncovered features.

"Nooooo!" Omeme cried, mortified. She turned back into a crane and flew away, so Kobayashi never saw her again, from what I hear.

Then Omeme became summonable in Fate Grand Order.

"What a lame take on a traditional tale," Kobayashi said. "This one didn't really have any humor."

---

Once upon a time, in a far, far away land, there lived a girl named Mimi White. No, she wasn't the Mimi from Digimon.

Mimi White was proclaimed the fairest in all of the kingdom by herself and by a magic mirror, but mostly by herself. Unfortunately, this mirror belonged to Mimi White's conceited, envious stepmother.

Mimi White's stepmother grew obsessed, then, with ending the life of poor Mimi White.

"Hm hmm, naturally!" Mimi White laughed at this. "That is the proof of my superior beauty!" she boasted while fleeing into the woods. "Be as envious as you like!"
In other words, Mimi White did not give a single fucking hoot.

Mimi White found the cabin in the forest of the Seven Dwarves: Sarah, Anya, Mizore, Abigail Williams, Helena Blavatsky, Nursery Rhyme and Jack the Ripper.

"I'm actually taller than Nero, why do I get to be a dwarf?" Abigail wondered.

The dwarves gave Mimi White a place of honor in their house, since she was so pretty. Among them, Mimi White kept on eating a shiny red apple every morning, to better keep her beauty. But one morning, one of the apples was poisoned, and Mimi White keeled over, from what I hear.

"Urgh, naturally!"

The dwarves found her upon arriving back home from their day job of selling crack. "Ah!" Blavastsky gasped. "Horror of horrors! The Evil Queen found her!"

"Um, no, actually, that was me," Anya said, then passed a hand up and down her own, flat chest. "She was making me feel too insecure!"

Blavatasky glared at her. "What the hell is wrong with you?"

Jack looked down at Mimi White, and then pulled two large knives out. "This Mum will make for a very pretty place to live in..." she said quietly.

That... That got like really too dark. Moving on...

---

To be continued, from what I hear.

 

[OverMaster]

Kotaro's Heart.

Negi approached him behind the stage.

"Kotaro-kun, before we start the fight, we need to talk about something," the Welsh one told him. "Yue has told me about Tosaka's offer…"

"Ah, yeah, that," the wolf boy glanced aside. "Don't worry, I've thought long and hard about it. I won't be taking it, I couldn't possibly break Neechan's heart like that."

Negi paused, refusing to accept the notion of Kotaro thinking long and hard about something. Then he added, cautiously, "Are you sure? I'm nobody to dictate your life one way or another, but…"

"No, no, it's not even just about that," Kotaro said. "Earth is my home, too, and Mom's waiting for me back there. And, and, and of course…" he hesitated before adding, "part of the fun fightin' here is fightin' with you. If you're gone there's no point."

"Oh, come on," Negi said, shaking his head.

Kotaro laughed nervously. "Ah ha ha ha, I'm an awful liar, right?! Truth is, w-well, other than Neechan, there's another person I… I care a lot about, and… and I wouldn't be happy leaving that person behind, right?!"

Negi smiled. "Ah, Kotaro-kun, you scoundrel…!"

"S-Shut up! You're nobody to talk, with the way you feel about Chisame and Chao and Louise and even Lala-nee all at the same time, you cad…!" the other boy seethed.

Negi blushed. "Chao?! Lala-san?! What are you even—"

Kotaro pointed to his own nose and growled. "I can smell your extra sweat when you approach any of them, smartass!"

Negi blushed harder and glared aside. "You're imagining things! Ah, um, it's Ako-san, right? Or, I know, Kobushi-san! No, Kaede-san! Kaede-san, of course!"

Kotaro hewed. "W-Well, Kaede-nee's certainly the type I'd like, the type who can take care of herself in a fight, but… but…"

"I'm sorry I couldn't see it before, or I'd have invited her to this trip," Negi said in a solemn way, placing his hands on Kotaro's shoulders. "Then again, perhaps that was for the best. But don't worry. Once we're back, I swear I'll do my best to root to for the three of you, even if it's a bit improper. Nodoka-san will understand, I'm sure…"

Kotaro nodded mechanically. "Y-Yeah… She sure would…"

"Nagi and Kojiro, to the arena!" Tosaka called out. "It's your turn, blockheads, so move it!"

"Coming up!" Negi said with a driven smile, stepping ahead.

Briefly left behind, Kotaro supported himself on a column and slumped for a moment. "Oh God, he's so dense! And this, what am I gonna do about this? It's just not manly…!"

 

[OverMaster]

The Secret… Revealed?

Shiho approached him nervously.

"Oniichan…" she said in a very small voice. "Shiho needs to tell you something…"

"What is it?" Tate asked.

"It's something I should've told you long ago… You'll see, there's a whole new side of my life that you don't know anything about…"

Tate blinked, confused, but then he smiled widely and began patting Shiho's shoulders.

"Shiho! You found yourself a boyfriend?! I'm so happy for you…!"

---

"So, how did it go?" Minako asked.

Shiho broke into tears. "Don't ask…!"

 

[OverMaster]

Mirror Match.

"I suppose that congratulations are in order, Boya," the Evangeline from the scroll said. "You have found most of your comrades, and while you failed to completely grasp Magia Erebea, you still came closer than any other man. Now I can bid you adieu, knowing that you did your best, and you might even still stand a shade of a chance."

"Master, wait!" Negi said. "There's no need for you to disappear!"

"The scroll's life is at its end, fool," Scroll! Eva lectured him. "Let me go. There is another Evangeline Mc Dowell waiting for you."

"But I can't let you die!" he told her.

"I'm not even actually alive."

"Yes, you are!" he insisted. "You have your own thoughts and reasoning! You are a unique existence!"

She smiled and shrugged. "Even if I were, there is no way to keep me anchored to this world past this date."

Negi gestured towards where a happy Chamo was drawing a Pactio circle on the ground. "There's something we can try! It's never failed me before!"

---

Evangeline stood in blanched horror at the other Evangeline standing by Negi and smirking at her. Suddenly attacked by terrible memories of the Kyoto arc, she grabbed the boy by his shirt and began yanking him back and forth.

"What did you do to my scroll, Boya?! What did you do with iiiiiiiit!"

Standing at the sidelines, Makie looked at Yuuna. "I've been thinking, if Eva created that scroll, then she's Eva's mom, isn't she?"

Yuuna facepalmed. "We've got better things to worry about! Like how are we gonna survive having two of her around!"

 

[OverMaster]

Traveling with Iinchou and Lala!

In our restless quest for Negi-sensei, the gorilla girl and the others, Lala-san and I have spent weeks navigating through endless, gray wastelands only interrupted by war torn villages, full of zombie-like poor lost souls warning us against the People of the North.

We have witnessed horrors and the miseries of what decades of conflict can do to a civilization. However, nothing of that could have prepared me for this…

Ayaka woke after a long night of deep sleep.

"Good morning!" Lala smiled at her.

"Ah. Oh. Yes, good morning, Senpai," the blonde yawned, remembering. This town was so small and miserable that it didn't even have any hotels, and they'd been forced to sleep together in a barn. "Did you rest well?"

"Yes," Lala nodded. "I also want to tell you that I accept your proposal!"

"Which proposal?" Ayaka asked, and then shrieked, realizing in horror that her right hand was wrapped around Lala's tail.

 

[OverMaster]

"What are you thinking?!" Negi demanded angrily, and Chisame had to admit being somewhat impressed by his tone. She hadn't ever seen him this furious outside of battle. But he wasn't mad enough to start demanding answers without casting a cone of silence around them first, and that only after moving as far from everyone else as possible. "You are endangering not only yourselves, but everyone around us!"

"Don't take it out on me, this wasn't my idea!" Shiho said. "I just need the money to buy Oniichan an anniversary gift!"

"You're still going along with it!" Negi said. "And you, Aino-san! As the most veteran of the Senshi, I expected much better from you!"

Minako scowled. "Negi-kun. Youma don't attack in broad daylight unless they're really desperate, that just paints a huge bullseye on them so every superhero and Magical Girl anywhere near comes to pummel them! This is another form of combing the people from all of the schools for clues, since just waiting for the enemy to show their hand time and time again isn't really getting us anywhere. We need to be more proactive!"

"If you don't expect those... things to attack in the open, how will you even get clues on them?" Chisame asked.

Minako smiled and wagged a finger. "It's so simple, Chisame-chan! Anyone showing too much interest in Shiho will be suspicious and worth trailing later on!"

"Eh? Why only me and not you?" Sailor Mars questioned.

"Well, it's just natural that anyone in the audience would put a lot of attention on me..." Minako said, casually running a hand up one of her long and beautiful legs.

"I should have been a Symphogear," Shiho grumbled.

"I still don't know..." Negi mumbled.

"Oh, you aren't telling Saber and Rider that they can't walk around in public because they are Servants and they can draw enemies of their own, are you?" Shiho said. "It's the same principle!"

"Also, if we're attacked behind the scenes, then we've baited an enemy successfully, too," Minako smiled at an unconvinced Chisame and Negi, "but that, we can handle. We're ready for that kind of event!"

"And of course, the purse of the contest won't hurt you either," Chisame said.

Minako nodded. "You said it, Chisame-chan! Don't worry, I'm sure you'll net the third spot! That costume is very lovely..."

"Mina Carol and Chiyo Huit!" the announcer called. "Please come to the stage!"

"Oh, we'll have to continue arguing later, guys!" Minako laughed, grabbing Shiho and running with her to the stage. "Wish us luck, we'll do the same for you!"

Negi sighed. "If I ever have an idea as dumb as that of getting into a public contest under a transparent false name while every villain around is looking for me, then smack me across my big empty head, Chisame."

Chisame nodded and pulled her phone out, leaving a memo in it. "I'll be sure to cash on that when the time comes."

"Oh, your two friends are really good at this!" Kirino said when the two of them walked back with the others. She was clapping at the sight of both Sailor Senshi striding across the stage, posing and shouting heroic catchphrases. "Well the blonde one, mostly. Shorty-chan really sounds like she could use more practice."

"Mina-san has been a long time enthusiast of show business," Negi said with an air of resignation. "Chisame, is your stomach feeling better now?"

Chisame groaned. "Cut the gag, willya? It's my stage fright that isn't getting any better."

Matoi looked at her face for several moments, and then told her softly, "Chisame-sama... I'm sorry if you felt like I was pushing you..."

"I didn't feel it, you WERE doing it!" Chisame growled.

Matoi shrank on herself. "Please forgive me! I only wanted to see your beauty shine under the spotlight! But, if you don't want to do it, you should just walk away now...!"

"Yeah," Kyosuke opined. "Sorry to butt in, but if it's only making you feel bad, then there is no point, right?"

Chisame looked in silence at Minako and Shiho leaving the stage, waving at the crowd clapping and cheering them. "To be honest... I kinda would like to be able to... It's just that... It's too much, too fast..."

"Would you want to do it with me?" Natsumi offered.

"What?" Matoi asked.

"I mean, what if we perform together?!" Natsumi explained. "That way we can support each other! That can be done, right?"

"Yes, but you will have to split the prize money if you land any of the top positions," Kuroneko said.

"I wouldn't mind," Natsumi said. "This isn't about the money for me."

"Thank you, Murakami," Chisame said. "But I can't drag you down with me..."

"Oh, it won't be a problem!" Natsumi said. "I don't even have a script, I'm just going to walk across the scene and strike a few poses!"

"What's the point of having a geisha and a dark magical girl in the same stage at the same time?" Kyosuke asked. "What do those two costumes have to do with each other?"

Kirino hummed, rubbing her chin. "Wellll...! Biblion plots are often like that! Biblio Roulin Rouge will travel into the past to attack an ancient civilization and the Biblion Team will go after her, saving the local damsel in distress. But first, of course, Biblion will have to fight Roulin Rouge's Monster of the Week, which can be a cyclops... or a fishman..."

She grinned in a wicked way and narrowed her eyes at Kuroneko, "... or a monster cat..."

Kuroneko frowned. "I know that I'm not going to like this," she deadpanned. "But that's par for the course, with any of your ideas."

 

[OverMaster]

Kindred Souls.

"Yesterday, Hakari introduced me to her mother," Arika trusted over tea and biscuits. "We had a long and quite interesting conversation on the subject of child rearing."

Ayaka paled slightly. "Oh… Oh!" she gasped after a moment. "I, I apologize on behalf of Hanazono-san, she isn't to be made responsible of anything her mother may have done or said…!"

Arika blinked at her. "Apologizing? Why would you need to do that? I found Hahari to be a wonderfully warm and loving person, and her opinions on the subject are truly fascinating. I feel I have a lot to learn from her."

Ayaka's paleness increased substantially.

---

Natsumi found her standing in a hallway, head slumped down and her weight supported on a hand planted on the wall.

"Iinchou?" the smaller girl asked. "Do you feel alright?"

"No!" Ayaka declared sourly. "No, all hope for us is lost…!"

 

[OverMaster]

Farewell.

In hindsight, it's remarkable how little time we spent together.

And I suppose that, from that time, even less was spent with both of us being happy. Either you were driving me crazy, or I was driving you mad.

Still, from your last few words, I'd like to think that you truly loved me back, to some degree.

I'd like to believe that some very scarce moments where we were good for each other, under those vast starry skies, were worth more than all others.

Goodbye, Nagi. I wish it could have been some other way.

"Master?" the boy asked, standing respectfully behind her. "It's time."

"Yes. Yes, I suppose that it is," Evangeline said, smiling sadly as she stood from the spot where she'd been kneeling. She turned around and began walking with him, towards the ship that waited for them.

And yet…

 

[OverMaster]

Childhood's End.

Negi closed the door after himself, and the pills ran out of effect, shrinking him back to the size of a child.

"Whew!" he said. "That was close…!"

Lucy looked up from where she was writing at the table. "Oh, welcome back. Did you have fun in your stroll?"

"Yes, I ran into the most adorable little girl with glasses," Negi laughed softly. "The poor girl was lost and asked me for help, apparently she's new in the city. I showed her around and eventually she said she recognized her street, so she ran off. Odd, she didn't seem to want me to follow her to her doorstep."

"Maybe she was afraid her parents would scold her," Lucy said with a casual shrug.

"Yes, that must be it. Anyway, I hope she's okay. She was very fun to be around…"

Then he blushed and waved his hands. "Ah, anyway, please don't mention this to Master Louise, Chisame or Yue, okay?! They're bound to misinterpret…"

Lucy smiled. "I wouldn't dream of it. Why don't you go take a bath? Yukino and Nodoka will have dinner ready any moment now."

"Yes. See you at dinner, Miss Lucy!" he said happily, and then moved off for the bath.

Lucy looked at the top of the nearby shell, and the bottle of red and blue pills and the disguise glasses on it.

She giggled to herself.

 

[OverMaster]

"Okay, if we're going to do this, we'll need a Biblion-chan!" Kirino had said, very fast and giving no time for anyone to protest. Chisame was reminded again of Suzumiya Haruhi. "Luckily for you, I can play the part in a pinch since I wrote episodes 157 and 173!"

"Wait. You did what?" Natsumi had asked.

"Kirino-chan has had a meteoric career from an amateur writer sending scripts to companies to an up and coming writer for several series, working under a pseudonym!" Saori had said with a smile.

Natsumi had the distinct impression that said 'meteoric rise' might have something to do with someone who was very wealthy and bribing those companies under the table, but she knew better than to mention that.

"Okay," Kuroneko had said, glancing at her Emily the Strange wristwatch. "But the tickets are sold out, so we'd need to convince someone to give up theirs through this lunch break."

They were, indeed, in borrowed time: the first round of contestants was finished and the second one would compete after the jury ate.

Saori had laughed goofily. "No need to worry, Kuro-chan! Just let me have a few minutes with the organizers!"

Now they waited, standing right outside the office of the organizers, who by the way, were not linked to Chao Lingshen. Just so that you know. I mean, how does a cosplay contest even help to break the masquerade? It's not like real magical girls are going to- Never mind... Not even Chao Linghsen can have her fingers stuck in absolutely everything, okay?

"Do you think she can do it?" Negi asked, mildly worried.

Kirino shrugged. "If anyone can, Saori-chan can! She has her way to get things done!"

And then Saori stepped out, closing the door after her and dusting her hands off. "Okay! We've got permission to put an extra player on the stage!"

"You didn't bribe them, did you?" Kyosuke asked.

Saori feigned a scandalized gasp. "Kyosuke-kun! I'd never! A true ally of justice never resorts to underhanded, dishonest means!"

"You threatened them to send paid goons after them and break their legs?" Kirino asked.

"That's only for true emergencies, don't you remember, Kirino-chan?" Saori said. Now Chisame was thinking of a much taller and bustier Konoka for some reason. "In truth, I just waited for them to start doing illicit proposals and revealed that I had my phone recording, threatening to have them Me'Tooed!"

Negi began choking violently in his saliva.

"You... You didn't have to do that for me, really... uhhh..." Chisame said, with a large sweatdrop.

Saori laughed and patted Chisame's shoulder. "It's nothing, they had it coming anyway! Besides, you remind me of someone who is rather likable, even if I can't pin down exactly who... Are you sure you haven't done cosplay before? Modeling? Any seiyuu work?"

"What, what if those men later try to get revenge on you?!" Natsumi said, paling under her heavy makeup.

"Then I call on the armed goons, naturally," Saori said matter of factly. "C'mon, let's not keep waddling! We've got to rent a costume pronto!"

However...

"What?!" Kirino shouted. "You don't have a single one left?!"

"Nope, sorry," said the apathetic pimply-faced young man with an American accent sitting at the costume rental. "Biblion is a popular choice and we ran out of them hours ago..."

"Bummer, then it was all for nothing!" Kirino said, folding her arms. "I'd grown used to the idea of upstaging Kuroneko before everyone, too!"

"My heart bleeds for you," Kuroneko offered, stoically.

Chisame bit on her lower lip. She had several Biblion spares at home, she could send Negi or Kasuga for one and they'd fetch it in no time. But then the others would ask what was she doing with a Biblion costume besides this one, and maybe the black cat girl would say-

"Actually, we've got a single one left," the pimply youngster said, holding a child sized Biblion costume in its perch. "But it won't fit any of you girls, not even Kitty here..."

Negi blinked, stared for several moments at the costume, and then sighed inwardly. The things we do for love...

"We'll take it, thank you very much," he said, and further startled everyone by pulling his wallet out.

 

[OverMaster]

The Art of War, The Art of Seduction.

"Hey, Natsu-han," Tsukuyomi commented idly, as they both sat on the porch of the manor along a napping Happy. "Are you a virgin?"

"Um, no, I was born in a July 7th​, so I'm a Cancer," the young man said.

She giggled. "I don't mean that, silly! That's Virgo, like Lucy-han's sexy spirit! I mean if you've ever been with a woman!"

"What kind of question is that? Of course I always am with women! I'm with Erza, Lucy and Wendy all the time, and I'm with you now, am I not?"

Tsukuyomi flew off the handle, seething. "Are you taking me for an idiot?! I mean, have you ever fucked?!"

"Ah, that!" Natsu said. "Yeah, I've been a few times with paid girls in taverns and stuff. Why, you wanna fuck?" he asked casually.

She stood up, threw her hands up, and stomped back inside. "You're no fun at all! I'm going to try this with Rito-han instead!"

---

My home computer just died so I might not be able to post much in the foreseeable future.

 

[OverMaster]

Faster, Pussycat! Breed! Breed!

"We have a very important announcement to make!" Happy said proudly at the dinner table. "Carla and I are going to have kittens!"

Carla blushed, glared aside, and rasped under her breath.

Wendy and Negi began choking violently in their mouthfuls of meal.

Erza, Lucy, Natsu and Rito blinked, and then smiled widely. "Ahhhh! Congratulations!"

Tsukuyomi slapped the table. "Oh, come on! Over two weeks of coexistence here, and the cats are the only ones who have had any sex?! Really?!"

 

[OverMaster]

Out on a Limb.

"Woooww, Sensei!" Sayo gushed, looking up and down at Negi's arm. "It was cut off and then reattached, seriously?! I can't tell the difference!"

Negi smiled and nodded. "Yes! Medicine in Mundus Magicus is truly advanced, isn't it?"

"And to think, if only you hadn't foiled my plans and Chao's, that very same tech would be available for thousands if not millions around Earth right now!" Skuld mused aloud, passing by their open door. "C'est la vie...!"

Negi slumped miserably, looking about to cry.

Sayo pouted and patted him tenderly on a knee. "There, there! It's not that good an arm anyway, it's a bit bent at the elbow!"

 

[OverMaster]

Escape.

They were camping outside of the small village, as every other night through the last week.

"We should be leaving tomorrow," Konoka mused as they tucked into their sleeping bags. "I can't wait to see Setchan again!"

"I think so, yeah," Yuuna nodded. "All the same, these little guys seem so deadset on us staying! I wonder why…?"

Then there was a tiny voice coming from the nearby grass, pleading and desperate. "Tonight…! Please leave me tonight…! And take me with you…!"

Konoka and Yuuna blinked and squinted through the darkness. The diminutive blue female in the white dress, cap and shoes stood there, trembling.

"What's the problem?" Yuuna asked. "This is your home, isn't it? Why would you wanna leave?"

"I'm the only female in the village…!" the miniature blonde all but sobbed.

"Well, yes, that must be difficult, since you have nobody you can relate to," Konoka reasoned, "but the travel ahead of us is dangerous and—"

"You don't understand…! I'm the only female in the village…!"

---

In one of the little mushroom shaped houses, five little blue men approached a bed.

Hefty grabbed the bundle wrapped in blankets. "Smurfette," he said, his voice husky and needed. "It's time. It's our turn tonight. Hey, are you—WHAT THE SMURF?!" he gasped, as shaking the blankets revealed only a crude Smurfette ragdoll, 1/1 scale.

"… oh. Oh, I smurfin' see," Grumpy grouched. "It's all clear now! See, this is why I hate outsiders!"

Another of the tiny men hummed at the decoy. "Well, she's very well done. Close enough to the real deal for me…"

---

A visibly perturbed Konoka and Yuuna made their hasty way through the woods.

"Oh, thank you!" the small voice sobbed from within Konoka's backpack. "Thank you, thank you, thank you!"

"In hindsight, leaving like this is the best," Yuuna confided them quietly. "Just between the three of us, Greedy had started giving me these weird looks…"

"I wonder if that's how Negi-kun feels about us?" an unusually pensive Konoka mused aloud.

 

[OverMaster]

Happiness is a Wet Puppy.

"Hey, Negi-han," Tsukuyomi said. "I saw a filthy black mutt lounging in the living room, and Louise, Yuuki-han and Erza-han said they didn't bring it in, so I stuffed it into a bag and threw it into the river."

"What? Tsukuyomi, no!" Negi gasped. "That was Kotaro-kun, he was wounded in the last fight so he took that form to recover!"

"Ah, Kotaro-han can do that?" she asked. "Ah ha ha ha ha! Good thing for him, then, I didn't think of just stabbing the bag before throwing it out!"

Kotaro stomped into the room, soaking wet from head to toes. "Yeah!" he growled. "Yeah, I'm thankful, but did you have to fill the bag with rocks too?!"

 

[OverMaster]

It was the moment of truth, now. Their turn had come at last, and there was no turning back. That, Kosaka Kyosuke was learning, included him as well, for some reason.

"This is nuts, I don't even have a ticket!" the young man was telling his sister as she pushed him towards the stage, from behind the curtains. "I won't be even allowed in!"

"You're not making any cosplay, you're just introducing them!" Kirino said in angry hushing tones. "Stop being such a baby, it's only a few lines! Sensei has it much worse!"

"If it's so easy, why aren't you doing it?!" Kyosuke insisted. "You're pretty, they'll like you much better!"

Kirino paused, blushing brightly at the casual praise and proving that some things don't change no matter the universe, but then she seethed and kept on pushing him. "'Cause the Biblion narrator is male! You know the one! So you'd better make a good impression or else!"

He was shoved onto the stage, all spotlights falling on him, and the audience grew very still and silent suddenly, at this average looking boy in everyday clothing. Before the boos started, he rasped, pulling a note out of his breast pocket and began a strikingly good impression of Washimoto Nario's voice.

"Last week in Biblion, the roguish Roulin Rouge travelled to the past, deadest on taking over Princess Natsumi's kingdom!" he said, emotionally. "Biblion-chan has travelled through time alone, in a last desperate bid to stop her evil plans! However, Roulin Rouge has turned loyal retainer Riri into the twisted cat demon Kuroneko, emissary of perfidy! Can Biblion-chan prevail over the feline of doom?"

The audience pulled back in anticipation as Kyosuke left the stage.

"Woooow!" Saori gushed, glasses fogging up. "Kyosuke-kun has actual voice acting talent!"

Kirino, standing by her side, blushed again and rasped, folding her arms. "A-Aniki has a lot of surprises in him! A few of them are even good!"

Natsumi then entered the scene, staging a pose to better show her kimono off before falling to her knees in a classic tragic heroine in distress position. The crowd cheered wildly.

"Oh, woe is me!" she lamented, entering a cheesy hammy mood rather than the more serious and lifelike acting she preferred. She still excelled at it, judging from the audience's reactions. "All is lost! My country has fallen and I'm a prisoner! Yet… I shall never sign over the succession papers! I would rather perish!"

Kuroneko entered then, with a grand sweep of an arm and a loud malicious cackle. Once again, the crowd cheered among camera flashes and screams of 'Kawaiiii!' "We shall force you yet, O Fair Princess!" Kuroneko said shamelessly, standing over Natsumi. Our forces shall otherwise massacre your peasants with our advanced ships from the future, and your fiance's kingdom shall fall next!"

"No!" Natsumi brought her hands together in a gesture of imploring. "Riri-chan, remember! We are childhood friends! You cannot deliver us to this evil queen of darkness—"

Then she and Kuroneko waited for the arrival of someone who failed to show up.

"—this indecent sovereign of deceit—" Natsumi added, trying to stall for time.

Still nothing else from behind the curtains.

"—this unreliable and duplicitious two-timing harlot…!"

"Who, who are you calling a harlot?!" Chisame said, stomping onto the stage, and then freezing again at the sight of all those eyes on her. "I am not—I am—I mean--!"

She felt herself paling and sweating, terrified to the degree of nailing her soles to the floor. She hiccupped to herself, and felt like wishing for the earth to swallow her. This was even worse than she'd expected! And they'd loved Murakami and the catwoman too, but they were so silent now…!

"Mistress!" Kuroneko fell to a knee before her, lowering her head. "I humbly wait for your command on how to deal with this insolent wench who has insulted you!"

"I…" Chisame said. "I am going to…" She gulped. "You are going to…!"

Natsumi sighed inwardly. Well, like Chizu-nee had taught her so well, sometimes you have to be harsh with those you love… or tolerate, in this case…

Natsumi smiled and raised her voice. "Hah! Virtue once again prevails in the face of evil! My courage and resistance have left you without words, Roulin Rouge! This is why I'll ultimately defeat you! And the Prince will stop being under your thrall, and love me and only me, as Fate intended!

This was said with the kind of glint in the eye directly aimed at her rival's own eye that only two women competing in love can understand, even if one of them is in denial. Chisame seethed, outraged at Murakami's insolence, and raised her scepter at her.

"Foul lowlife!" Chisame shouted. "You dare talking to me like that, when you are so beneath my station?! I will now punish you as God intended! You… You will never take my Prince away from me!"

Seeing how this whole dialogue was taking much longer than they all had agreed for a mere snippet rather than an actual play, the final player in the little drama stepped out.

"Roulin Rouge-chan!" the newcomer said, while the spectators' bated breath turned into gasps and swoons. "Stop doing these evil things, now… You must come back with me, or else!"

Negi stood there, in a Biblion uniform making him look like the most adorable little girl in a wig and wielding a long wand ever imagined. Even Sakura and Tomoyo gasped, briefly overtaken. Kirino's nose exploded in a shower of blood. Saori began droopling quietly from a corner of her mouth, and Kyosuke looked away, abruptly terrified by troubling thoughts.

Chisame smirked and turned on towards him, skirt fluttering up flashing black panties. The crowd whooped and pictures were taken, but she didn't care anymore. "Or else what, you little brat?!" she challenged her teacher, with a strange feral sensuality to her roar.

"AUDIO AEROTICA…!" someone shouted in the audience. Matoi blinked, surprised at realizing that hadn't been her.

Negi made his best attempt at copying a pose he'd seen Sailor Venus doing. Minako herself had to admit it was rather good. Only Shiho looked mildly embarrassed over the whole affair. "Or else I will…" he said, with his best plucky little girl voice, pure Anya in tone and delivery, "… punish you in the name of Love!"

The crowd went truly and fully wild, and Chisame's heart beat savagely. Natsumi squeezed her legs together under the kimono, her eyes turning into small supernovas for a moment.

Kyosuke and Kirino excused themselves for the toilet, and bolted out in opposite directions.