OverMaster's Little Crummy Corner of Sub-Par Writing

[OverMaster]

Mahou Sensei Negima! is the creation and intellectual property of Akamatsu Ken and Kodansha.

---

100% Naked, 0% Subtlety.

---

Yes, we're worried about the fate of the world after Nagi was revealed as the Mage of the Beginning and departed for whereabouts unknown...

Yes, Negi himself is more worried than anyone else right now...

And yes, we know that this chapter canonically took place before the fight with Rakan!

But right now, let's take a brief moment of relaxation with our (imaginary) friends! As if we had real ones, right?

A special chapter of healing and nakedness! In Glorious Naked-O-Vision! To compensate for the visual limitations of the prose format, we will constantly be reminding you of the female and male flesh in full display! Aren't we avant garde in our postmodern critic of over the top fanservice?

I'd still rather have Akamatsu illustrating this, though...

---

Even in the tail end of the long anniversary festival, Neo Ostia was bustling with all manners of tourists and visitors. From every corner of the Magical World, they came, gathering around the stadiums, the restaurants, the large parks and the wide public pools. There was music around all corners, and fireworks ornated the starry nights.

The main attraction were the ancient ruins of Old Ostia, because the people of Mundus Magicus had a different set of values and would rather visit old dusty wreckage over sophisticated and cosmopolitan modern places. But the gigantic public baths, the Ostianae Magnae Thermae, were a close second. Able to hold hundreds and hundreds of bathers at once, the thermal baths were the pride of the city's administration, and tourists were eager to soak in them. It was said that you couldn't have the true Ostian experience without bathing in them.

And yet, early that morning, the baths had been sealed and closed, with armed guards standing at every entrance and exit.

Two peasants who had come to the festivities to peddle their products stood across the avenue, looking at the incredible Roman style building.

"What's up with this?" one of them wondered aloud. "Another terrorist hid inside?"

"Nah," the other man said. "I heard they're reserving it for those Ala Alba fellas who just kinda saved us all."

The portly, short farmer with glasses blinked. "No way...! Them Ala Alba guys?!"

"A-yep," the taller and lankier peasant nodded. "The son of Nagi Springfield and a whole buncha hot cute girls! Since they've become famous, ya know, they can rent the whole place f'r a day! Lucky stiffs..."

"Sooo... where do we go to take a bath, then?"

"The river's over there."

"Oh, for the love of...!"

---

The small pink and white towel was left behind as a completely naked, except for her glasses, Collet Farandole approached the edge of the vast warm pools, wagging her tail. "Oooohhh!" she said, marveled. "It's even bigger than I thought...!"

"Well, yeah, no joke," said Hasegawa Chisame, walking over to join her, standing even more naked since she'd left her glasses in her basket of clothes. Her ponytail was undone, allowing her long light brown hair to fall free. "Compared to this, the baths of Mahora are nothing..."

"Are you sure we're safe here?" asked Miyazaki Nodoka, standing next to the other two girls, and not wearing a single stitch of clothing. She looked in all directions. "There might be paparazzi cameras hidden somewhere..."

"For Pete's sake, Bookstore-chan, don't be so paranoid!" Kagurazaka Asuna said, sitting naked on the edge and putting her legs and bare feet in the water. She smiled at the relaxing sensation. "We've just saved them all, no way they'd be ungrateful enough to do that!"

"Sometimes you are so innocent, Asuna-san..." the librarian said, sitting down next to her and also soaking her small, white feet in.

Iwai Tsukuyomi, wearing only a small red bow in her long blonde hair and her glasses, giggled as she sat aside, starting to rinse herself off for the bath. "Why so nervous, Nodoka-han? Planning to have fun in the bath with Yue-han?"

"Bite your tongue!" Ayase Yue snapped, sitting au naturel next to the swordswoman and starting to wash her slim body off. "Shouldn't you be leaving us now? You already got paid!"

"I'm just playing with you!" Tsukuyomi said, giving her a slight slap in the ass. Yue groaned. "And leaving Negi? Why would I do that?! He's going to be my legal guardian now! Just to make sure that I don't stray into the wrong path again...!"

Louise Francoise le Blanc de la Valliere winced, putting her underdeveloped nude body in the water until she sat on the bottom of the pool, only her shoulders, neck and head sticking above the surface. "You just want to drag him into that path with you..." she mused grimly. "Don't think we won't be keeping an eye on you...!"

"For once I agree with you," Asuna said, lowering herself in after Louise. "And Setsuna-san is a lot stronger now, so don't you start getting ideas about being able to best her, Four Eyes!"

"Well, Setsuna is her older sister, so it's her responsibility to take care of her from now on," Skuld grouched while entering the bath too, fully in the bare. "Unless you plan to track David Cain down and force him to do it himself..."

"What about your sister? Shouldn't you be with her right now?" Chisame said.

"I'm not a healing goddess, I'm not allowed in the recovery chambers!" Skuld despaired. "And I'm still mostly blacklisted from my association with you, so I wouldn't be given access anyway! I'll just have to trust Urd to have her watched, and that's got me so nervous that I just needed relaxing for the day!"

"Oh, for the love of-! She's under the care of other gods and everyone loves her there, right?!" the golden haired Suzushiro Haruka said. Her large round breasts bounced lightly as she soaped them, and then the rest of her fully exposed body, full of firm curves and supple muscle. "You have nothing to worry about! This world was saved, and so was she, so the problems for you have stopped!"

"If there's nothing to worry about anymore, why are you so worked up?" Collet asked her.

"I can't help it! In my absence, Fujino Shizuru must have rallied the students against me! Hoping to underminate me! God knows how will they react when I come back, thinking I abandoned her! I hate that stupid Bubuzuke!" she bristled.

"I've been meaning to ask," Collet asked, blinking, "What is a bubuzuke?"

"Rice in tea," supplied helpfully the thin and brown haired Kikukawa Yukino, diligently washing Haruka's back, in the bare herself save for her glasses.

Collet made a face. "What kind of person would ever drink something like that...?"

"Fujino Shizuru, that's who!" Haruka fumed.

"I feel your pain," Chisame said sympathetically. "While I was away, my page must have really lagged behind in views, overtaken by competitors! Constant new material is the key for any successful page!"

"What is your page even about?" Tsukuyomi asked.

Chisame blushed and fumed. "It's... It's nothing! I just give technical advice for programming, that is all!"

"Sorry, I know I wasn't asked, but while we're on the subject, a classmate of ours has a cosplay page," mused a buck naked Kaga Ai, with only the small band to keep her short black ponytail in. "And she is always saying the same thing as Chisame-san, that ongoing new content is vital for success..."

"I just want to return home already," Karakuri Chachamaru said, moving over to was Ai's back, and kneeling behind her with a back. Her completely revealed new robotic body was virtually impossible to tell apart from a human one, except for some very thin joint lines along her elbows and knees. "Master Evangeline must miss me, having to settle with Karin-san's inadequate housekeeping."

"I feel like I could stay here for a while, myself. After spending so long in Mahora, traveling like this was really thrilling, you know?" Aisaka Sayo said, now in her completely naked gigai body, identical to the appearance she had as a ghost, long white hair and red eyes and all. Rather than the black hair and brown eyes she had in life. The tiny Sayo doll, also in the buff, sat limp by the pool while Sayo enjoyed the bath. "In the other hand, I also want to be with Asakura-san again..."

"I've had my fill of magical worlds for the rest of my life," Chisame said. "Give me back my streets full of smog and my Netflix account."

"And where are our Prince Charming and his band of merry men right now?" Tsukuyomi asked, licking her lips over. "Do you think he actually came?"

"He told me that he'd be over there," Chisame said, pointing over the tall wall separating them from the men's baths. "With Kotaro and some of the other guys, apparently."

The other girls followed Chisame's pointer finger with their silent, curious gazes.

Chisame frowned. "What are you guys thinking about?"

 

[OverMaster]

Sitting in one of the pools in the men's baths, Negi Springfield brooded.

For Itoshiki Nozomu, who sat next to the red haired boy in all of his skeletical, very pale nudity, this was a disturbing spectacle, because seeing anyone who exhuded a more miserable aura than his own always perturbed him greatly. That this person was a child, and the son to one of his greatest childhood heroes, only made the whole experience even more upsettling. Despairing, even, but for once he didn't feel like going on a Despair Rant on the subject.

"Even here, you aren't feeling any better, huh..." sighed Inugami Kotaro, sitting at Negi's other side with nothing on but the towel tossed around his shoulders. "I can't say I blame you, but... you're going to burn yourself out at this rate, man. We brought you here so you'd relax! What happened to the guy who said all of that Audacia Paula never give up stuff? Your dad's not dead yet! That means there's hope!"

"For Nagi, at least. The rest of the world may be another matter altogether," Natsu Dragneel said from where he was drinking sake with Chamo, wearing only his perennial scarf.

Kotaro pointed at him angrily. "Buzz off! You're even more of a never say die type so you're saying that just to mess up with him!"

There was a loud, raspy and growling, chuckle, and Kotaro frowned at the source of it. Killer Croc was sitting several steps away, up to his broad chest in water, nothing but dark green thick scales covering him all over. "What's so funny?" the wolf boy asked. "And for that matter, why haven't they arrested your butt yet?"

"What are the charges?" Croc asked, reaching over with a muscular clawed arm. Chamo shrank back from the sake as the behemoth poured himself a glass. "I'm not a wanted criminal in THIS world! I wuz in the same street brawl as you an' I fought in the same battle as you right now and that's it! I've got as much of a right to be free here as you are!"

"But... But, those people the Joker killed...!" Kotaro said.

"Killed with Joker Gas, do I kill with Joker gas?" Croc asked. "Got any proof I ever helped 'im with anything but those two battles you saw me in? If not, stop pesterin' me, kid!"

Emiya Shirou frowned, fresh on recent wounds on his exposed body, from his just finished time away. "You're still wanted in Earth," he reminded the reptilian man.

"Yeah. Well, Earth doesn't even recognize this dump as a world that actually exists," Croc said. "Good luck arrangin' those extradition papers!"

"Papers?" Kotaro grinned. "We're just gonna beat you up, tie you up, and drop you in Gotham..."

"Do we have the right to do that?" Yuuki Rito asked.

Kotaro and Shirou looked at him. "Eh?!" they said as one.

Rito, in the buff as well and looking almost as weary as Negi, gave them a jaded look. "Yami-chan is also guilty of several assassinations in other worlds, are we beating her up and dropping her on the doorsteps of the Galaxy Police? How many wanted posters have we seen for Evangeline-san all through this world? We aren't the law, haven't we learned, from fighting Cosmo Entelecheia, that not everything is in black and white...?"

"Oh, come on!" Kotaro slammed a hand on the water. "Are you really saying we should let this bastard go?!"

"The second he commits a crime here and we can prove it, the second we should take him down," Rito said. "Yen Sid-sama once told me that altering the balance between the worlds, even for good purposes, is a mistake, and I didn't understand him at first, but..." He sighed. "We have changed too much already, as it is..."

Negi finally raised his eyes, to look into Croc's serpentine, starkly yellow ones. "Do you think," he said, "that you could actually turn a new leaf here? After leaving the Joker's side?"

"I'll tell you that after being here, I don't really want to go back to Gotham," Croc said. "There, I was just a freak, but here, I can walk across the street an' nobody will look at me twice! I'm just another lizard man! It feels actually good, man!"

"Yeah, well, but you'd keep being a criminal all the same, wouldn't you?" Shirou accused him. "We can't, and shouldn't, just let you do that..."

"Maybe you can get him a job with Tosaka-san in the arena, Kotaro-kun," Morisato Keiichi spoke at last, from where he'd been watching the conversation, soaking in the warmth you-know-how. "A gladiator, perhaps he'd like that, right?"

"Busting skulls f'r fame and money is somethin' I can do, yeah," Croc said. "I used to be a wrestler, yanno!"

Kotaro frowned. "I suppose..."

"All right!" Keiichi said, filling a glass and raising it. "Then let's drink to it! Those of us who can, that is! Everyone deserves a second chance, they say!"

Negi sighed. "We've forgiven Tsukuyomi, Sextum, and her assistants, so like Rito-san said, it'd be hypocritical from us singling him out..."

Croc guffawed and gave him a light knuckle bop on the jaw, which would have shattered a normal man's lower face. Negi only groaned at it. "I misjudged you, boy! You too, girly-brat! You're alright in my book!"

"Who's a girly-brat?!" Rito growled.

"I'll even give you some advice!" Croc patted Negi's back. "Don't be so blue over your old man! I never even knew mine, and I turned out fine!"

"Is that... Is that truly the best point of reference you can give him?" Itoshiki asked.

"Right, right!" Chamo laughed nervously. "We're all good friends now, that's nice! We can even engage in the best bonding subject between healthy males in the bath, that sure will help wash my Bro's worries away!"

Croc scowled at him. "What's this 'bonding 'tween males in the bath' crap, ya rat?! Yer comin' on to me or sumthin'?!"

"Uwaaaaaa!" Chamo freaked out, his fur sticking up. "No, no, no Sir, I never meant that! I'm only talking about paying the girls a courtesy!"

"Courtesy?" Negi asked.

Chamo nodded rapidly, bringing his paws together in pious fashion. "Beautiful women in the nude are right next to us, separated from us merely by that wall, as we speak! Ignoring the call of their youthful exhuberance would be a major offense tainting their honor!"

"Now that you mention it, it's weird that Rito hasn't just broken that wall down yet through some accident or another," Natsu mused aloud.

"Aye!" Happy said, nodding.

"Here we go again..." Keiichi sighed.

"Ah, so you mean peeking on them," Croc said. "But aren't you a rat? Whaddya gain from seeing naked women? You some kinda deviant or anything like that?"

"And you're a crocodile!" Chamo snapped.

"I'm a man who happens to have lotsa scales, sharp teeth, snake eyes, an' sometimes a tail!" Croc roared, making Chamo backpedal in fear again. "But you're a rat, fully a rat an' anyone can see that! Not the same thing, smartass!"

"He's an ermine, actually," Negi said blandly.

Everyone turned to look at him again.

"You're really depressed," Chamo said sadly. "At this point, you're always already scolding me and getting on my case..."

Negi said nothing.

Chamo jumped on him and hugged him tightly.

"Oh... Oh, I get it!" Croc said. "The lil' guy was saying that just to see if he could make him laugh with his fake pervert act...!"

"Errrrr, yes, sure, let's go with that," Itoshiki said, taking his glasses off, polishing them, and then putting them back on.

 

[Amatsumi]

Croc being a bro is a new take for me.

 

[OverMaster]

Croc being a bro is a new take for me.

Click to shrink...

There have been several comics about Croc showing a more human side for a few decades now, since the nineties. All in all he's one of the Batvillains with the most pet the Dog moments, and it helps that he had a sympathetic background and is less of a scheming sadist than Scarecrow or Joker, more like a guy who tends to lash out in anger.

 

[OverMaster]

Elsewhere, in another section of the female baths, Tohru, as naked as the day she'd be born, but, you know, in humanoid form, lowered herself into the warm water happily. "Ahhhh, that was a nice tour, thank you, Erza-san! Good to see they rebuilt this city well after I wrecked it!"

"Wait," Kobayashi said, helping the unclad Kanna into the water and then soaking her own rather flat bare body in as well. "You destroyed this city once!?"

Tohru blushed and looked away. "They attacked first, you know... back then, everyone was a bit paranoid about dragons, and... The city is more beautiful now than how it used to be, so I like to think I gave them a perfect chance for some much needed urban renovation!"

Kobayashi facepalmed. "Now I'm actually afraid someone will throw a magical bomb on us! Maybe we should leave..."

"Don't be like that, Kobayashi-san, I was a huge dragon all through that ugly affair, and it was generations ago!" Tohru pouted. "Nobody would recognize me today looking this way!"

"Now that's Natsu levels of tempting fate," the naked as a jaybird (because you know, all other kinds of birds are always fully dressed) Lucy Heartfilia exhaled, sitting next to the just as unclothed Erza Scarlet, Wendy Marvell and Carla. Carla was in her humanoid form, some of her long hair falling over her nipples and covering them. "Whatever will happen, will happen, I suppose."

"It's not like these people haven't hunted many, many of my species even when they meant no harm!" Tohru argued, slamming a hand on her own chest, so her large breasts bounced. Kobayashi and Wendy stared on with quiet envy. At the other side of the Fairy Tail girls, Anya Yurievna Cocolova, in nothing but her hair bows and an angry blush, took that a few steps further and bristled in anger. "Right, Misa-san, Madoka-san? You've been witnesses of how nasty people in this world can be, no offense to those present!"

Kakizaki Misa, in nothing but the hairpin in her head, frowned at her briefly. "Those speech manners, you have copied them from Colonel-san, haven't you? Anyway, yeah, I guess most people here have been rude to Madoka and me, but that's just because we landed in a bad spot..."

"For our next trip, I'm handcuffing myself to you, Sakurako," Kugimiya Madoka, with absolutely no clothes on, told the similarly undressed Shiina Sakurako, who sat by her. "That way it's guaranteed that I'll have a safe landing!"

Sakurako smiled. "Oh, Madoka-chan! You'll have to ask Satomi-chan. I'm not sure she'd approve...!"

Hakase Satomi, completing the group of 3-A students present there, sighed. Only her bare shoulders, neck and head were seen above the surface, but for your information, dearest reader, the only things she was wearing were her round glasses and the tiny bands keeping her braids tied. "I trust you, Sakurako. Right now, I'm the most worried about Governor Godel. I really do not like the way he looks at me..."

"Well, you have filled out nicely in the time we were separated," Misa teased her. She reached under the water, grabbed a bare foot of Hakase, and lifted it, so her leg was visible. Misa's other hand ran up and down the wet limb. "Look at these gams, what were you doing with her this whole time, Saku-chan?! Hmmmm!"

"Kyaaaa!" Satomi gasped and shook her leg free. "D-Don't do that!"

"Good thing I'm not a jealous woman ha-ha," Shiina laughed rigidly.

"You're right, a jealous woman, or man for that matter, is a very terrible thing indeed," a familiar voice opined. All of the (naked) girls blinked many times, and then stared at (the also very naked) Tsunetsuki Matoi, sitting crosslegged on the edge of the pool, and quietly kicking her feet in the water. "What? Why are you so surprised?"

"Ah!" Tohru said. "You were here?!"

"Yes, always," Matoi answered.

Misa looked wildly in all directions. "Where's Chisame?! I didn't see her get in! I thought she was with the Pink Spore!"

"Fu!" Matoi pouted. "I've learned a lot during the time I was forcibly separated from Chisame-sama! Distance made our love stronger, and it taught me that I don't need to be right behind her at all times! That way, I only annoyed her! This way, the time we spend together is even more precious and valuable!"

"Sounds like a lesson some others might benefit from learning..." Kobayashi opined.

"Oh, absolutely!" Tohru said. A pause. "Who are you talking about, though?"

"Senpai!" Sakurako said. "Congratulations! It's good to see you've undergone some much needed character development!"

"You have bugged Chisame's bath basket and kept her monitored that way, don't you?" Hakase asked.

Matoi scowled. "Of course not! Do you think I'm such a simple minded obsessive? I can think ahead! I knew Chisame-sama would look there, so I put the bug in Louise's bath basket instead!"

"... it was too good to be real, huh..." Anya said dryly.

"By the way," Matoi said, pressing her hands on her own breasts to push them together, "I heard you were talking about body figure growth, so what do you think about my recent spurt? Do you think Chisame-sama and Negi-sama will like it?"

"I don't think you've grown at all," Satomi said.

"No, she has, just a bit..." Misa estimated. "Negi doesn't care too much about big boobs, but I suppose it's good for Senpai all the same. At least she won't end up a washing board after all..."

Kobayashi, Wendy and Anya doubled ahead, with large arrows suddenly sprouting from the backs of their heads.

"We... We shouldn't be talking about breasts here," Lucy said, shuddering. "We're bound to attract that person to us..."

Matoi blinked. "Which person?" she asked, right before being fondled from behind.

 

[OverMaster]

Race Issues.

She showed up the next afternoon. There was a large whoosh of wind coming from above while Misora swept the front entrance of the church, and when she looked up, she first saw her.

She was gorgeous, like Iinchou but with a somewhat fuller figure and bigger muscle definition, and a bit shorter but much wavier hair.

"Ah..." Misora said, impressed. "W-Welcome..."

"Nice to meet you," the girl in the red cape said. "You are Kasuga Misora?"

Nod, nod!

"Batman said you wanted to see me," the girl hovering over her said. "How can I help you?"

"Ah, ah, Batman-sama, sure, yeah," Misora said. "Um, we don't know each other all that well, I only have seen him thrice, once in Kyoto, once in the Festival, and once in Old Ostia, so I didn't think he'd tell you... I only made a casual commentary..." She bowed very deeply. "Please forgive me for taking time away from you!"

"No problem, the Society sent me to help with your rebuilding," the blonde said, landing on her feet before Misora. "Don't be so nervous! I don't bite!"

Misora blushed a bit and rasped into a fist. "I know! I'm not nervous or scared or anything!"

The young nun breathed deeply. "Like I told Batman-sama that last time... I didn't know what I'd do after coming back. I mean, about my passion. My passion, you'll see... it's running. And then I became much faster than I ever dreamed of being. And, in Mundus Magicus, I became even faster..."

"I see," the Supergirl said. "But I don't understand what does that have to do with me..."

Misora sighed. "Once I came back and tested myself against those I used to run against, I confirmed my fears. I can't compete anymore, because it's no contest. Not even with Asuna. Asuna, you'll see, is my friend, the one who--"

"The Twilight Princess?"

Misora groaned. "We don't call her that! She doesn't like it. Anyway, the only one who can give me a race is Negi-kun when he's going all out, but... that's not enough..."

"I see."

"So..." Misora lowered her gaze shyly and dragged a foot around, "I was wondering if--"

Supergirl took her cape off and handed it to Misora. "Put it somewhere safe. It tends to rip apart when I go too fast."

Misora's face lit up. "Thank you!" she said, grabbing the red cloth and racing inside with it. When she came back, half a second later, the shiny white sneakers were on her feet. "Okay! Okay, now this is exciting! Oh gosh! I'm going to race against Superman's--!"

"Just a few races and then I have to go help the rebuild crews, okay?" Kara asked.

"Alright, alright! Sure thing!" Misora said eagerly as they took positions, one next to the other. "From Neo-Tokyo Tower and back, is that fine with you?!"

"That close?" Kara smiled. "A lot of speed but no endurance, right...?"

"Pfft!" Misora said. "This is just for the first go, because I'm testing you!"

"Whatever you say," the blonde smirked, and then shouted, "GO!"

Two bolts of motion shot forward with matching bursting booms.

The dirt under their feet burned.

Kasuga Misora was happy again.

 

[OverMaster]

I'd like to write a story about someone taking baby Negi from his birthplace (for the purposes of this continuity it's in Mundus Magicus, where Arika is assumed dead), then through Japan and America until arriving to Wales so he can be given to Nekane and her father.
Along the way this person is chased by Nagi's enemies and meets several URAE cast members (as they were 10 years ago) who will meet Negi in the future, but who here for the most part have no idea about who he is other than a baby in the run for some reason. Only ones I have decided for sure yet are the obligatory first meeting with Child! Chisame when she's still only a little girl, the obligatory rush through Fuyuki's Fourth Grail War (but Kiritsugu is too busy to help) and the obligatory Gotham run with cameos of a 'Year One' Batman and Joker who are just starting over.
This person would have to be someone who can play a convincing underdog, someone like Takahata would handle it too easily. Any ideas?

 

[OverMaster]

Childhood Trauma.

"This," Ayaka smiled sadly, placing a hand on the closed door, "is my little brother's room. My mother was never able to have another child, and so... I suppose I've been missing that part of my life ever since."

Hanezono Hakari was deeply moved. "Ayaka-san!" she told her fellow ojou. "I had no idea! You must have suffered so much! I never felt I needed a sibling, but I understand that all of us have different nee--"

"Hey, Onee-chan," a little blonde girl waved casually, passing by. "You've made another new friend? Cool! Bring her to the pool and we'll talk there, okay?"

Hakari gave Ayaka a bewildered glare. "Sister?!"

"Yes, my sister Mizore. My father's daughter by another woman. What of it?"

Hakari pointed at the closed door. "You just told me that you've been broken for years because you never could have another sibling!"

"No, no, I never said 'sibling'!" Ayaka told her. "I said 'brother'! I always wanted a brother, specifically...!"

---

"And what did you do?" Karane asked her.

"Nothing!" Hakari moaned. "I still can't figure out if I want to be angry at her or admire her principles...!"

 

[OverMaster]

The World Above.

They sat on the rooftop of The Planet, looking up at the sky.

The night was quiet for once, and the starry extension was clear.

"You knew all this time, didn't you?" Lois asked. "About Mars."

Superman sighed. "I knew the basics. I'm not all that close to any of the mystics, and they don't like talking about that kind of thing."

Lois closed her eyes and shook her head. "People are just starting to accept aliens and mutants, and now they'll get this dropped on them. And they trusted you, not to keep secrets like this from them. Are you going to lie to them on the subject?"

"No," Superman said. "No, of course I won't."

"Miss Lane, take it easy," Jimmy said, unwrapping another sandwich. "It wasn't his place to tell everyone..."

"I know that, and you know it," the woman said, "but it'll take them a while to understand. It won't be easy."

"That's what I'm counting on you and Perry, and Clark, and everyone else, to help me with this," Superman said. "It won't be easy, no, but no worthy cause ever is. They'll need to learn to accept each other."

"Sure thing," Jimmy said after another bite. "Talking about Clark, I wonder what's taking him so long?" He checked his phone. "He hasn't answered yet..."

"Are they like Zatanna?" Lois asked.

Kal laughed. "No, of course most of them aren't... But most of them are good people, from what I know. Just like everyone."

"Right. Just like everyone," Lois said.

"I wouldn't do what I do," Superman said, "if I didn't believe that. From now on, I'll fight for them too. But I won't ever stop fighting for you either."

"Just don't over exert yourself," she warned him. "Remember, you're as vulnerable to magic as anyone else. They have an edge against you, right there."

"I know..."

He stood up. "I'm needed. I'll be back as soon as I can."

And he zoomed up, up, and away, faster than a speeding bullet.

Lois kept on staring after his trail of red and blue, until it dissipated faintly in the nocturnal air.

"He'll be fine," Jimmy reminded her, finishing the sandwich. "He's Superman!"

And he pulled another sandwich out of his bag. "Want one?"

Lois sighed and accepted it. "Thank you, Jim. You sure know how to make anyone's worries disappear. You're a real mage, you sure you weren't born up there?"

"Well, I'd like to think I did some magic with my homemade mayonnaise here."

She took a first bite and winced. "Well. It has an otherworldly taste, I can't deny that..."

 

[OverMaster]

That is my Fetish.

Chisame walked into the room and saw Negi sitting at a corner, cuddled up into a ball, and taking his hands to his head.

"Now what happened to you?" she asked.

Negi's phone, resting on the nightstand, rang.

Negi shuddered vigorously.

Chisame frowned and went to pick it up.

"No!" Negi gasped, trying to reach for her. "No, please don't!"

"Who is that?" Chisame asked curtly into the phone.

"Chisame?" Nodoka's voice asked. "Negi-sensei is there?"

Chisame looked at Negi, who made frantic signs of 'NO!' to her.

"No, he isn't home," Chisame told Miyazaki. "What should I tell him?"

"Ah, please tell him that Yue, Kotaro-kun and I want to hear his answer on what we asked him," Nodoka said. "We've waited for it long enough..."

Chisame cut the call short and glared at Negi. "What is the meaning of this?"

Negi trembled. "Uguuuuuuu!"

Chisame approached him. "Come on! How bad can it be?"

"They... They want me t-t-to kiss Nodoka-san... while Kotaro and Yue watch on..." Negi whimpered.

Chisame raised an eyebrow.

"They want to watch as my hands roam all over her body... and she touches me everywhere..." Negi related, "They say they really, really, seriously are into that kind of thing, but I know it's wrong, and I know that you'd hate it too..."

"... touching you... everywhere...?" Chisame wondered aloud, glasses fogged up, and then she pulled on her collar and let some steam blow out.

---

Chisame, Yue and Kotaro sat together, watching on, fascinated, while Nodoka and Negi kissed violently, hugging and caressing each other.

Haruna walked in. "Nodo-chan, Yuecchi! You'll never guess who I ran into in my way-- Aaaahhhhhh! Not fair, you beat me to it?! Stupid Rito-chan! You made me sneeze and lose!"

Matoi sighed and stood from where she'd been sitting behind Chisame. "This is surprisingly boring. I'm going to watch The Squid Game."

 

[OverMaster]

The Nature of Art.

"Haruna-san!" Setsuna said, entering the studio. "I brought you some melon bread from Ojou-sama, she heard you were--"

She stopped, seeing Haruna well asleep at her drawing board. "Huh! I suppose she couldn't meet the deadline. Poor Haruna-san..."

She looked at the script and layouts. "This doesn't seem too difficult! Maybe I can finish it for her."

Gently, she picked Paru up, set her on the couch, rolled her sleeves up, and began finishing the work...

---

"What?!" Hiyori asked. "Paru-chan is in the hospital!?"

Hikaru-senpai nodded. "She fell asleep while meeting the latest deadline, and then Sakurazaki-kun came in and finished the book for her."

Hiyoru blanched out. "How... How bad is it?"

Hikaru held the open doujin in front of her. "See it for yourself."

Hiyori winced. "Aaaaaahhhh! This is very bad! Unbelievably bad...! And Paru had a crisis when she saw the result?"

"No, she had the crisis when this just turned out to be our best seller to date. It sold out in the first day, and I've just ordered a sequel. You'll be doing the lettering for Sakurazaki-kun..."

 

[OverMaster]

To Reach Eden, Live with Zero Regrets continuation.

---


One month later, this happened:

"And... And what did she do then?" Hasegawa Chisame asked, dreading the answer. She, along with Matoi, Negi, Chamo, Sora, Chizuru, Ayaka, Natsumi, Misora, Cocone, Mana, Asakura and Sayo in her gigai body, stood in the wide fields surrounding the World Tree, waiting for the ship to return as agreed in the calls to Lala.

Chizuru shrugged, keeping her arms folded. "What else could she do? She left, and asked us to call her back as soon as you returned, through Lala-senpai. I don't believe she'll be too pleased when she learns that none of you are Chiu, however."

"She seemed rather convinced about it," Asakura added, looking directly at Chisame in a way that made the younger Hasegawa nervous. "I wonder what made her alien detectors fail like that?"

"Who... Who knows?" Chisame rasped. "This school is just weird like that! The magic fields screwed her electronic search up, or something like that!"

Playing along with a quiet sigh, Negi said, "We can't say for sure until we've seen this Rebecca-san's instruments. All the same, I'm still not convinced about this. I don't think we can learn anything from her that we couldn't already have learned from Skuld or Lala-san."

"From her, no, but she can take you anywhere in the Galaxy, and if what Sextum said is true, the key to the Lifemaker's origins, and how to defeat her, may come from beyond this world," Mana said. Her devil eye glowed then. "She's coming. Anyone having second thoughts now would better go back home now."

"That means you, Misora, Sora-neesan," Kazumi chuckled.

"Funny..." Sora frowned, pushing her glasses up her blushing face. And then she had to gasp, for even after seeing so many things in Mundus Magicus, things defying any rational and logical explanation, a true alien landing was still a new scene for her to behold.

Just like in the story the girls left behind had shared with them, the black and white ship had just appeared in the nocturnal skyline, descending gradually towards them. Matoi clung onto Chisame's arm, and Cocone did the same with Negi's, making Misora frown a little.

Negi frowned, subtly pulling Chisame and Cocone back with him, and the rest of the girls following his example to allow the ship a wider landing angle. When the space vehicle finally stopped moving, resting on the grass, it took a moment before its main door slid open, and out stepped Rebecca, wearing very short and tight black shorts, a form fitting long sleeved shirt that remarked her large bust nicely, and tall shiny black boots. Ayaka gasped quietly, used as she was to perceive any new female arrival as a potential rival, but much to her relief, Negi did not seem particularly struck when she gave him a fleeting look.

"Wow, the trip was definitely rougher this time..." the newcomer was saying, walking down the ramp until she stood on the green field, and then she smiled and threw herself to hug Chizuru, patting her back vigorously. "Chizuru, it's nice to see you again! You too, Kazumi! And you, Mana! Where's everyone else?"

Asakura smiled back, shaking her hand. "Well, we've just been handed a lot to do collectively, Becky!" she said. "Negi-kun here will explain it. Negi-kun, this is Rebecca Bluegarden, here as promised! Do we deliver or what? Becky, this is Negi-kun..."

"Oh, so you're Negi! It's a pleasure!" the gorgeous blonde said, not even daring to mention how he was much shorter and smaller than she'd thought. "Good to see you could make it back from that trip of yours, the girls here were all really worried!"

"The pleasure is all mine, ma'am," the boy said and bowed deeply. "Please meet some other students of mine. Hasegawa Chisame, Kasuga Misora, Yukihiro Ayaka, Murakami Natsumi and Aisaka Sayo. This is Chamo, my oldest friend," he added, pointing at the white ermine sitting on his head, "and these are Cocone Fatima Rosa, Misora's roommate, and Hasegawa Sora, Chisame's older sister."

"I'm Hasegawa Matoi, Chisame-sama's fiancee. My pleasure," Matoi bowed as well.

"Hasegawa?!" Chisame growled. "You've been taking a lot of liberties of late, Tsunetsuki!"

"Ah, that's right, sorry, you were here," Negi said blandly.

Matoi nodded in a firm way. "Yes, always."

"Rebecca, the ship's fully stabilized now!" a small bipedal blue cat said, hopping out of the ship and skipping over to her side. "We have enough fuel left for the trip back and then some, too!"

"Ahhh!" Chisame gasped, while the eyes of Chamo, Negi, Misora, Natsumi and Ayaka widened considerably. "Happy?!"

The blue cat blinked. "Eh? Ah, aye, that's my name. Do you know me?"

"What are you doing here, Happy-san, you shouldn't even be able to leave Mundus Magicus!" Natsumi said. "Were you given an artificial body?!"

The cat blinked while Rebecca frowned, confused. "What are you talking about? This is a robot body, yes, but it's been that way for years now..."

Mana sighed. "Sensei, Chisame, this isn't the same Happy," she said. "Incredible as it may seem, it's just an identical blue cat with the same name."

"What? Don't give us that!" Misora said. "What are the odds?!"

"I'm sure there's a rational, even if probably decadent, reason for this," Cocone said in her usual detached tone. "A gripping saga of Happy's parents having free loving adventures across the galaxy..."

"I wouldn't read that," Chamo said, wincing.

"Happy Habits, coming to you from Darkenning-sama this summer," Cocone said.

Chamo took both 'hands' to his head. "Nooooo, don't say that, not even joking! I don't want to imagine it...!"

Rebecca blinked. "Another... Happy?" And then her eyes lit up so brightly, and she gave a small jump in place, breasts bouncing. "That sounds so wonderful...! Two Happys together, that would be just so cute...! You must introduce him to me! But first things first!" She grinned. "Take me to Kakizaki Misa, also known as Chiu!"

"Ah, well, yeah," Chisame hewed uneasily. "About that...!"

 

[OverMaster]

Darkness Meets Golden Darkness.

Rito smiled at Yami as she exited the room. "Well?" he asked. "What did you think about Lalatina-san?"

"I'll have to think of a new codename," Yami grouched softly. "I feel dirty calling myself a Darkness now..."

 

[OverMaster]

"Oh, so that's the way it is!" Rebecca said. They all were sitting under the wide shade of the World Tree now. "That's odd, my search instruments never were wrong before. Are you sure absolutely none of you are Chiu?" she added, looking directly into Chisame's eyes while saying this.

Chisame felt herself sweating, but kept on her poker face. "Yes... We're very sure. Maybe it's someone else on another floor of the building?"

"Anyway, Miss Rebecca..." Negi said, clearly discontent at having to keep that lie, "we were wondering if you could help us look for clues on a certain person's origins by taking us into outer space, and in return, we'll help you finding out Chiu's identity, and also repaying you in any additional way you can think of."

"Any way?" Rebecca smiled. "Why, Professor, you shouldn't make that kind of grand and sweeping offers! I might turn out to be a bad person!"

"Yeah, that's why this guy needs a lot of life experience before he can take on his role as a prince negotiating world saving deals," Chisame said. "But we can pay you, he's just received a large royal heritage. Of course, Earth or Martian money might not line up all that well with the credit system you guys use, but Lala's willing to pitch in too..."

"We'll be glad to help the friends of the Deviluke princess, we'd be fools not to!" Rebecca said and held her hands up before them. "That's no problem! How long is the trip going to be, though?"

"Only a few days, no longer than a week," Ayaka said. "We're just back from a long vacation trip, after all, but Sextum-san can replace Sensei during that time, so that's not a major problem..."

Kakizaki Misa's long-drawn moan of anger was heard in the distance.

Happy and Rebecca blinked several times, startled. "What was that?!" they said.

"Nothing," Ayaka said. "Thank you so very much, Rebecca-san. There's room in your ship for all of us, right?"

"We'd be a bit cramped, but for a week or so, that shouldn't be that much of an issue," Rebecca said.

Matoi smiled, hugging Chisame's arm. "Being cramped in a tight space with Chisame-sama is perfectly fine with me!"

Chisame groaned. "Why am I embarking on another trip into the unknown with you people so soon after that disaster?! Why don't I learn my lesson?!"

"I'm not missing out on the exclusive this time!" Asakura grinned, running an arm around the smiling Sayo's shoulders. "Outer space! The final frontier! I'm going to see so many fascinating things and meet so many incredible people, I can hardly wait!"

"The trick is making sure that at no point nothing and no one lays any eggs inside of you wherever you go," Rebecca lectured. "Keep in mind, like with anything else, there's good people and bad people anywhere in space, regardless of the planet."

"Except the Skrulls. Skrulls are all bad!" Happy said.

"Lyja isn't all that bad..." Rebecca said.

"Skrulls are all bad!" Happy insisted.

"Oh, come on, Happy, don't be racist before Princess Lala's friends, you're leaving a bad impression!"

"Are you sure you're Rebecca?" the cat asked. "What if you're a Skrull pretending to be Rebecca?!"

"HAPPY!"

"..." Negi said. "Anway, most of us have some experience with spaceship travel. We spent some time as the crew of a Gummi Ship..."

"A what?" Happy asked.

"Long story," Natsumi sighed.

"We understand. We've had a few long stories of our own after all," Happy said. "Like the time Rebecca entered a beauty contest and-"

"You said it yourself, it's a long story and the point of long stories is that they can't just be told just like that!" a blushing Rebecca interrupted him.

"You are a lot like the Happy-san we know," Sora said. "In more ways than one..."

 

[OverMaster]

With a Heavy Heart, but a Light Soul.

"It's hopeless, isn't it?" Itoshiki asked as Negi sat beside his bed.

The young man sighed. "Sensei, please..."

"That's okay," the other man told him. "I won't make a drama about it. Not this time."

"We have the best doctors at hand," Negi told him. "The best your family's money can buy, and Ayaka's, and Chizuru's, and Ostia's. Even Lala-san has promised she'll have specialists brought from Deviluke. You won't escape us so easily."

Itoshiki smiled at him. "But you know even that is useless. You have looked at my case, and researched on it. Of course you would. It's what you do."

Negi looked troubled. "When we first met," he said after a while, "you mentioned that your father had brought a curse of immortality upon you, to save your life as a baby."

"A move brought from love and from the selfish need to keep an heir, after the failures of Mikoto and Kei," Itoshiki reminisced, nodding. Even this simple effort seemed to give him great pain, as his bones creaked and crunched.

"You also mentioned how this curse brought unhappiness to the receiver in trade for invulnerability," Negi said, gaze low, "but that it could be broken through a condition. You always refused to elaborate on it, and I respected that wish. I could have looked into it long ago, you know."

"Yes, naturally you could," the black haired man said. Although most of his hair was prematurely gray now. "You're Negi Springfield, after all. An impossible feat. Only that could undo the curse."

"The highly unlikely act of breaking through the supernatural misery itself," Negi sniffled, grabbing his friend's weak hand, "would also shatter the other aspect of the spell. A full cancel... with all that implies."

As best as he could, Itoshiki squeezed his hand. That, too, hurt him. "You, Ai, Matoi-kun, Fujiyoshi-kun, everyone... You have made me happy. That is more than I could have ever expected from life. For that, you'll have my eternal thanks."

Negi began crying. "We... We have killed you..."

"No," Nozomu told him. "You have given me life."

He passed away quietly, just two days later. It surprised Chisame and everyone else, how quickly it happened. It was as if he had collapsed from inside out, totally, in less than one week.

Ai wept for hours at the ceremony, refusing to let go, and begging for his forgiveness, time and time again.

Eventually, Tsunetsuki managed to calm her enough. With a hand on her shoulder, and a sweet whisper of "He's not in despair anymore," she was able to lead her away, taking her back to the others.

But the last one to leave was Kafuka, still looking at the grave, silent and strangely pensive. She only smiled when she felt good and ready for it, melancholically.

"Sayonara, Zetsubou-sensei," she told him lovingly, and then she, too, turned and walked away.

 

[OverMaster]

Adventure Crime (against Music).

"Lady Marceline?" Negi asked cautiously, walking into the music studio she'd been given by the Mahora staff. "Did you want to see me?"

"Oh, hey, Negi!" The pale, thin and black haired female gave him a friendly wave of a hand. "Just call me Marceline, do I call you Prince Negi? I wanted to see if you were willing to help me in a jam, Eva said that you had a unique singing voice."

"She... She did that?" the boy blinked. "Um, yes, I've been told that, but... probably not in the way you are thinking. I'm not that much of a singer, actually..."

"Don't be so humble, you have a nice speaking voice, and I once heard your mom singing, she was wonderful at it!" She threw a microphone at him, which he caught easily in a hand. "C'mon, if I like what I hear, we might give a short Academy City tour so I can get to know Vetus better!"

He blushed. "That'd be nice, but I'm a bit busy with other things right now, and--"

"I know, I know, but you wouldn't believe the good publicity music can buy you! The rich and famous love that!" She grabbed her guitar and grinned at him. "Whaddya lose by trying? If you've got any talent at all, I can sharpen it so you're as good at singing as with everything else!"

Negi smiled back. "Okay. For my mother's legacy!"

"That's the spirit!"

One hour later, someone knocked at the front door of Evangeline's cabin.

Chachamaru and Karin, fully armed, opened the door and stood their ground, ready to launch a full defense.

Marceline stood there, with her hideous monster face on, huge fangs sprouting from every corner of her mouth, and blood flowing profusely from her ears.

"Where is that damned witch...!? I'll teach her to play practical jokes on me...!"

 

[OverMaster]

Somnolent Habits.

"Well, Negi-kun," Tenchi smiled as the men prepared their futons. "This time there's no risk of having you getting into a girl's bed during the night!"

Negi looked around, at Keiichi, Itoshiki, Shirou, Rentarou, Issei, Ranma, Araragi, Nariyuki, Saito, Mamoru and Keitaro, and smiled. "Indeed!" he told Tenchi. "Ah ha ha, I guess that's a good thing about male bonding retreats!"

When they woke up in the morning, they found Negi still sound asleep, in Ranma's futon, with his head pillowed on Ranma-chan's breasts, and a large spilled bucket of water by their side.

"This kid's more clever than we had given him credit for," Ranma-chan said.

 

[OverMaster]

Of Chuuni and Monsters.

"I've always wondered, Medusa," a fascinated Ritsuka said, "how do you manage having your chains hiss as if they were snakes?"

The Rider smiled mysteriously. "That is a secret, Master. Maybe, someday, I might be persuaded to--"

Euryale and Stheno approached. "What, a mystery? Hardly!" Euryale laughed. "It's just ventriloquism!"

Ritsuka blinked. "Ventriloquism? When did she learn ventriloquism? And why?"

"Well, it was very lonely in the island and someone had to entertain us." Stheno pulled an ugly patchwork doll from somewhere. "Come on, Meduseless! You know what to do!"

The Rider sighed sadly. "As you wish, Sister..." she said, sitting down and putting the doll on her knee.

Ritsuka thought her act was incredibly lame, humor-wise, but there was no denying her technique itself was flawless.

 

[OverMaster]

Unlimited Bullsh*t Works.

Rin sighed. "Negi-sensei, Boy we Have no Real Connection With At All, you're good friends of Emiya-kun, so we need to tell you this. Sakura and I are going to have Emiya-kun's children."

"Eeeeeh?!" Negi gasped, while Kotaro blinked several times. "How?! How did that come to happen?!"

Sakura looked aside uneasily while Rin began explaining. "You'll see, while you and the rest of Ala Alba were away, we had to fight Gilgamesh, the First and King of Heroes. Who, um, wasn't all that heroic. We had to recharge the mana of Saber and Monster urgently, moreso than usual, and so we had to resort to emergency measures! We put our hands on Emiya-kun's chest, and so we summoned a lot of glowing green dolphins flying all around us, and Saber and Monster's mana were restored, and we got pregnant with Emiya-kun's babies!"

"Ohhhhh, so that's how it's done!" Negi said, awed.

Kotaro smiled. "I always knew all of that stuff about storks was a big load of lies!"

"Ah-ha-ha, yes!" Rin laughed rigidly.

After a moment, both boys lost their smiles.

"You really should have put condoms on those delphins, however. As your teacher, I am very disappointed," Negi said sternly.

Rin and Sakura facefaulted.

 

[OverMaster]

The Questions Nobody Asks.

Rentarou and his girls were leaving the haunted house, chatting excitedly among themselves.

Just as they were leaving, however, Misa grabbed Rentarou by an arm and pulled him back.

"Senpai, before you go away," she told him in a low voice, "I have been wondering about something, and I'd like an answer, please."

Rentarou blinked. "Um, sure, what is it?"

"Those girls fall in love with you through a first look, right?" Misa said. "So what if a girl fated to be with you dies in a trafic accident, and her eyes are saved and then used later for a transplant? Will the receiver fall in love with you forever? Even if that person is a tall bald trucker or something like that?"

"...!" Rentarou said.

---

"Rentarou, dear," a worried Hakari said over the table of the Ice Cream Emporium. "Do you feel well? You haven't touched your banana split!"

"I... I'm fine, really..." the young man said in a hollow voice. "It's just that the haunted house scared me more than I thought at first..."

"If you don't want it, it can't be let go to waste," Kurumi said, taking a first, very large spoonful from it into her mouth. "Aaaahhhhhh! You're the best boyfriend!"

 

[OverMaster]

Survivor's Guilt.

"Are you sure," Akashi-sensei asked, "that this will work out?"

Caster nodded. "Yes, Master. As you can see, I just made my wish to be human again, and nothing bad happened. I've purged Angra Mainyu's influence from it. Now it's your turn, to ask for what your heart yearns the most."

He smiled, and then outstretched an open hand, almost touching the pulsing Grail. "I wish," he said tenderly, "for Yuuko to have survived instead of me."

Medea nodded several times, startled, but before she could start to protest, a woman with long, dark brown hair was standing where Akashi Wataru had stood moments ago.

"Oh… Oh," the other woman said softly, blinking a few times. "He… He did it, didn't he? And it worked, just like he wanted…"

They watched the Grail vanish in nothing but an ethereal poof of green sparkles, and then Akashi Yuuko told Caster, regretfully. "I'm so sorry, Caster-san. I'm really sorry."

The sorceress just stood there, feeling the tapestry of reality redoing itself in accordance to his last wish, and then she smiled, remembering the night Yuuko had found her, lost, scared and dying in the rain.

"There's nothing to be sorry about, Master," she said, before grabbing the woman and kissing her.

… Not so Guilty Feeling After All.

"Are you sure," Akashi-sensei asked, "that this will work out?"

Caster nodded. "Yes, Master. As you can see, I just made my wish to be human again, and nothing bad happened. I've purged Angra Mainyu's influence from it. Now it's your turn, to ask for what your heart yearns the most."

He smiled, and then outstretched an open hand, almost touching the pulsing Grail. "I wish," he said tenderly, "for Yuuko and me to have survived…"

---

Akashi-sensei lay naked in bed, with a naked Yuuno kissing him from a side, and an also nude Caster at his other side, remembering that night the Akashis had found her, lost, scared and dying in the rain.

"Well played, Masters," Medea said, admitting defeat gracefully. "Very well played."

 

[OverMaster]

Brilliant Years.

The young man was crossing the borders of Mahora now, heading towards the West.

The West was calling to him, no, demanding for him. There was so much to do. A lifelong quest waited for him.

Despite everything, he smiled. There was nothing to regret.

This was something that had already been built up, something that the boy would build using all his life.

It would be a good life.

"At some point, we're going to take a bus, right? Or a train?" he heard Rin's voice asking. "How long do you plan to just keep on walking?"

He turned around, startled. "Aaaahhh! You were here?!"

"Yes, always," Matoi said, standing behind Chisame, who in turn stood next to Negi, who also stood by Ayaka with Natsumi and Chizuru by Ayaka's other side, and so on. "We aren't just going to let you march into the desert to your death alone, are we, Emiya-kun?"

Shirou facepalmed hard.

"We owe Saber-san this much..." Asuna said, while Sakura nodded very quick and very stiffly, with very wide eyes.

"All of you have better things to do here and elsewhere!" Shirou said.

"Oh, Negi-kun can keep on working on establishing world relationships and negotiations while traveling the world!" Yuuna said. "This is the era of online work after all, distances are meaningless! Besides, I really want to go to Istanbul. All of that stuff involving my mom, you know."

"Or," Rin said, "you could swallow your pride, accept being my assistant, and come with me to Clock Tower."

"I think I talk for everyone when I say we'd rather go deal with terrorists than with the Magic Association," Haruna said.

Shirou sighed, turned back, and started walking again. "The path is long," he warned.

"I know, I saw the Unlimited Blade Works epilogue too," Haruna nodded.

"Yeah, well, about that train or bus Tosaka-senpai mentioned..." Madoka began, as they followed him like a compact herd.

So, the Middle East it was. There, Shirou, Negi, Kotaro, Keiichi, Rito and Itoshiki got acquainted with the practice of polygamy, and Chisame confirmed her suspicions about exactly why Haruna would rather go there than London.

 

[OverMaster]

Shut-In Douji.

"Okay," Ritsuka said, "we need to stage an intervention. She's been spending too long with Osakabehime and Ganesha..."

 

[OverMaster]

Mahou Sensei Negima! is the creation and intellectual property of Akamatsu Ken and Kodansha.

---

It was a perfectly normal night in Mahora Academy. Well, as normal as nights in Mahora Academy could get, anyway. Everything was quiet outside, as the rebuilding crews had long punched their cards for the day and returned home. And then, somewhere in the nearby woods, an owl hooted loudly, several times; or perhaps there were several owls in a courtship ceremony or something.

This startled Kasuga Misora, as she hadn't seen or heard owls around the school for quite a while, perhaps even years. The short haired girl looked in silence across the room, with Cocone Fatima Rosa cuddled against her, her small hed nestled between Misora's chest and her chin.

From their position in the nook Negi-sensei was supposed to sleep in, Misora looked at the bunks across the bedroom. Tsunetsuki-senpai slept in a futon at the feet of the lower bunk, and in said bunk, Misora could make out the sleeping forms of Chisame and the pink spore, with Negi between them. Recalling last night's discussion, Misora kind of felt bad for Tsunetsuki-senpai; she may have been Class 3-F and a creepy stalker, but they still were friends with her for longer than they'd known the spore, and if you asked Misora, she had more of a right to be there in that bed with Chisame. That girl sure did put up with a lot.

Misora's thoughts on the subject of either Tsunetsuki-senpai OR the spore getting to sleep in the same bed as NEGI were another matter altogether, of course.

Lifting her gaze, Misora could glimpse the shapes of Sakurako and Hakase in the upper bunk, bundled together under the sheets and hopefully not doing anything that could wake Cocone or Negi up. They were faintly quiet at the time, and from what Skuld had hinted once during a session of being annoyed by Haruna Hakase was supposed to be a screamer in the bed in other realities, so Misora would give them the benefit of the doubt for now.

Skuld, not so much. Exactly why did she know so much about their sexual habits in other universes anyway? Creepy and gross!

Talking about creepy and gross things, Chamo slept in his drawer full of underwear, belly up and with a large bubble of snot blowing in and out of his nose. Once again, nothing out of the normal here. Some things had not really changed since the first time she'd slept in this room, many months ago, shortly after Evangeline had attacked her and drank her blood. But, and Misora was well aware of this, too many other things hd changed irreversible for her to fool herself into thinking otherwise.

Squirming out of the nook with practiced ease, Misora managed not to wake Cocone up when she got up to go use the toilet. In her way back, she decided to take a peek into the living room, since everyone else was too quiet for her comfort.

Ayaka was still fast asleep on the couch, and once again Misora couldn't help feeling bad for Iinchou, as she surely would love nothing better than sleeping in the same room as Sensei, something that, again, Misora thought Iinchou had earned much more than Louise. That didn't mean, of course, that Misora would have traded places with Iinchou, but thankfully Negi's nook was too small for Ayaka so the rich girl had been forced to let Misora and Cocone sleep there.

Misa and Madoka were in futons occupying the rest of the small room, and that was pretty much all for the sleepover. No Vice Prez, no Asuna, no Haruna, no Fukawa-senpai. Which did a lot to help explaining why the night was so quiet and uneventful, so far.

Of course, come the morning, all bets would be off.

Tomorrow, it would be Sunday, and Misora knew, somehow, that it would be a long day indeed.

She tucked herself back into the nook as it began raining outside.

---

A Day Indoors.

---

Very loosely based on a concept by Ambrant Arandel.

 

[OverMaster]

The Untold Legend of Rodney.

"Father, I know this may sound like a crude question," Damian said, "but why didn't your parents just hire a bodyguard to keep them safe?"

"There are no maybes about it," Jason grumbled, buttering his bread up, "that is a crude question..."

"Actually, they did," Bruce said.

The boys all stared at him, surprised.

"What?" Dick said after a moment.

"His name was Rodney," Bruce hummed, trying to recall. "But his last name, how should I say this... come to think about it, I hadn't thought of him for years... Alfred, what was his last name, again?"

Alfred sighed while distributing the cups of steaming cocoa. "Hartigan, Master Bruce. His name was Rodney Hartigan."

"Hartigan, right," Bruce nodded. "A good man. Tall and blonde. Former Special Forces."

"What the-- You never mentioned any bodyguard!" Jason said. He looked at Dick. "Did he ever tell you?"

Dick shook his head. "No... I never saw any photos in the manor, either!"

"Why wasn't he there that night?" Tim asked. "You resent him because he wasn't there, right? That's why you've done your best to forget him..."

"No, actually, he was there," Bruce said.

The boys stared at him again.

"I'll take that pearl necklace, lady," Joe Chill growled. "In the meanwhile, you guys start emptying those wallets..."

"Oh, no, you won't!" Mr. Hartigan said, reaching for his own gun...

"Bad idea, pal!" Chill said, and opened fire on him before he could draw. Then he turned his gun on the Waynes. "I said no heroes! Look at you forced me to do..."

The boys blinked.

"Oh," Damian said after a moment. "Oh, I think I understand. You resent him for doing that, then, don't you..."

"No, actually, I don't hold anything against him. He was just doing his job," Bruce said. "He tried."

"... and then why you never show any emotion about him at all?" Tim asked.

Bruce blinked. "Huh? He was just the bodyguard!"

"Do you even remember where is he buried?" Jason asked with growing suspicion.

Bruce thought about it. "... no, sorry. Alfred?"

"Right next to Percival the chaffeur, Master Bruce," the butler said stoically.

"Percival? Who is Percival?!" Jason asked.

"Was," Bruce said. "Alfred didn't drive us around then, that was Percival's job. But Chill killed him before we left the theater, so he could wait for us by the limo. He was married to Sally the cook, who died of a heart attack when she learned about it... What was their last name, Alfred? I don't think I remember that either..."

"I'm counting on you young gentlemen so I'm not buried in an unmarked grave," Pennyworth grimly told the sidekicks.

 

[OverMaster]

The Love Connection.

"Miss Kakizaki?" the man asked, approching her behind the stage.

"Springfield-Kakizaki. Yes, that's me. How may I help you?" Misa asked. "Do you want an autograph? My fee is--"

"I represent the intellectual interests of Mashima Music Records," the man said sharply. "It's been brought to our attention that your band has been doing covers of several of our artists through this tour. I come to present you with a cease and desist order plus a--"

"Ah, it's just that? Wait a moment." Misa pulled her phone out. "Ayaka? Yeah, it's me, who else could it be? Listen, why don't you buy Mashima Music Records and I'll pay you by month's end? Oh, it's that big. Fine. Fine, I'll be paying you through the year! We've been racking in the tour and my investments have been paying off, you know that! 'Kay. Love you! Bye!"

She put the phone down. "That's Yukihiro Ayaka, my co-wife since we're both married to Prince Negi of Ostia. Now you work for me, and I've got to tell you that I don't like your attitude or tone."

"I hope that doesn't mean I am terminated and I am to be replaced."

"Goodness, no! That attitude and that tone are exactly what I need. I need you to go after Afterschool Tea Time and 2-B Pencils, they've been doing covers of our songs without asking first..."

 

[OverMaster]

Easy Mode Conclusion.

"Sir!" Touko yelled, panicking, as she, Takahata, Akashi, Shakti and Takane rushed into his office. "This is an emergency! Of the highest level!"

Konoemon looked up from his Playboy and blinked. "What?"

"Sir, there's just been a major outburst from under the World Tree!" Takamichi explained. "It has broken free!"

Konoemon paled. "Oh, shit."

---

Caster frowned, arms folded. "Explain it again, will you? Going through every detail this time..."

"I'm telling you that I didn't do anything!" Assassin protested, pointing with his blade at the gigantic crater at the roots of the Tree. "There was a large explosion, and two people crawled out and just walked away...!"

---

The front bell rang.

Chisame opened the door, and then blinked.

"Hello, the Dorm Mother told us Negi lives here!" Nagi Springfield said in a friendly manner, with a stoic tall blonde by his side. "I'd like to see him, I'm his dad and this is my fiancee!"

Chisame blinked again. "Uhhhh... He is teaching supplementary classes to some of my classmates, who are... in dire needs for that..."

"Then we shall stay here until his return," the beautiful blonde said, imperiously. "Bring refreshments and drinks, young lady. Or else."

"Ialda, please," Nagi said, "we have talked about this already..."

---

"Chisame, Satomi, Matoi-san, I'm home!" Negi said, walking in and taking his shoes off. "Sorry I'm late, there's been a ruckus all through campus none of the teachers wanted to tell me... about..."

He trailed off in awe, seeing his father sitting there, with most of 3-A crowded around him, bombarding him with questions while a tall blonde stoically rolled her eyes back in annoyance.

Chisame looked at Negi. "You'll be the one telling Eva about this, okay?"

"Well, you know, we spent ten years together, after all!" Nagi was excitedly telling Ako. "A lot of things can happen between a man and a woman during that time, especially when they are sharing a body!"

 

[OverMaster]

Really Decadent Habits.

"Sextum," Collet said, "I'm not sure about this. If Negi sees us--"

"He may be our husband but he's not our owner," Sextum told her quietly. "There's nothing wrong with us doing this together."

"I know, but... it still feels wrong, for some reason...! Doing it behind his back...!"

"Would you rather do it before him?" the albino asked. "We can do that, if you would like it. Why shouldn't we?"

"No, no, noooo, no!" the blonde shook her head, blushing.

"You know you love it. So there's no need to deprive yourself from this pleasure," Sextum said. "There's no shame on this."

"Oh, very well...!"

So they started doing it, and then they were surprised when someone else entered the room.

"Oh, there you are, Collet!" Yue said. Then she looked at the cups they'd been sipping from, and frowned. "Is that coffee?"

"Aaaahhhhh!" Collet hid her face in her hands. "Please don't look...!"

 

[OverMaster]

Top Ten Batman the Animated Series Episodes that Sound like Porn Titles.

10. Animal Act.
9. I've got Batman in my Basement.
8. Dreams in Darkness.
7. The Ultimate Thrill.
6. The Demon Within.
5. Chemistry.
4. Baby-Doll.
3. The Strange Secret of Bruce Wayne.
2. Growing Pains.
1. Girls' Night Out.

 

[OverMaster]

This is your Brain on a Life of Magic.

"Oh, yes, teach me more, Sensei. I've been a bad student, I need to start learning all over again..."

"Chisame, Sensei, The Other Person, I'm home!" Satomi announced, taking her lab coat off and hanging it by the door. "They forced us early after an explosion in the--"

Her glasses slipped down her face as she saw Chisame, looking ten years old and wearing one of Negi's suits, standing by a chalkboard with chalk in her hand, while a suddenly terrified fifteen years old Negi in a schoolgirl uniform sat before her. Matoi stood aside, filming the procedures with a hand camera. There was an open bottle of pills on the table.

Hakase looked hard and long at the chalkboard, then walked over to it, erased one of the equations, and corrected it. "Stick to what you do best, Negi-sensei," she told Chisame. "Math is not your strong suit."

"Okay..." Chisame said, sounding as if she was deflating.

"I'd like to be Iinchou, incidentally," Hakase added.

Matoi sighed and put the camera down. "I'll go for the makeup, one of the wigs, and some padding. Okay, a lot of it... Wait, no, what is even the logic of that?!"